My hands were reaching toward the sun. It is unbelievable, but it seemed to me, and it was reaching to me too. My head directed facing up and eyes closed. Inside of me everything was filling with life. I can’t found the words to convey exactly everything that I felt. It was above all earthly things that anyone could ever feel. Inside of me, fairy was dancing with painting in all the colors that are in the world face. She was screaming with excitement, stood on his head and started roaring with laughter. Her every movement was like crazy. All this storm inside me, I felt every day. And I have not always been able to keep it. Perhaps, that is why I have been called “crazy” or “sick in the head.” But I never took offense at such remarks. Every word in our world was not supported by anything, so not all of them mattered.
I could not say exactly when it started all this madness inside me, but I was sure that this madness was a part of me. That’s why I did not reject it and did not hided inside. That’s why I did not have friends. After all, I had a force inside, which provided me with everything you need: knowledge, joy, power, energy and happiness. It was absolute happiness.
“Today you ran longer,” mother’s voice disturbed my thoughts.
Yes, her voice interfered in my space very often. But I’m really happy to hear it every time. Hear it for me as well as for any other person to return home each evening. Perhaps, I would fall within this voice differently if I had a house. Although, I never regretted about it. In my opinion, the word house does not apply to real estate. I think, that all of our land, our entire planet is house. Then we can assume that all of us are one family, because all of us live in the same house. It is on the verge of science fiction, but everything in the world just so. We are family. And I will always live with this concept.
“On the street is gorgeous weather,” I replied, a touch breathless.
With incredible kindness in his eyes, my mother looked at me. She always did, and every time I could not restrain a smile at this moment.
“I love you so much!” she murmured, and already with a broad smile on his face, approached me.
“I love you too,” I muttered in response to a bit of irony.
At such moments, I did not feel very comfortable.
Usually, every day of my life a little bit crazy. I think it’s because of the strange fairy inside me. Why strange!? The fact, that the fairies are pure and good creatures. So it is written in any book. But my fairy is not like that, since its appearance and behavior of finishing. And though, it absolutely does not matter. I still love her madly and grateful that it allows me to feel the taste of life. Many talk about this very life. Like, what is important and what should be avoid. For example, for most people it is very important to fall in love. Some people do it a hundred times a week. But I do not understand. In my heart there is love, but it is somewhat different. I love the Creator, my fairy, family and the people that surround me, or are there, even though we do not know each other. While, I don’t know other love.
Over the past few years everything in my life changed dramatically. Starting with me and ending attitudes of those around me. They kind of stopped noticing me. You know the type, “ She is crazy and stupid to pay attention on her!?” Although, I think that all these changes are associated with me. First of all, I changed dramatically, but rather became myself. Very often found yourself, you lose everything. But I even like to be in my madness one. This is truly honest. Fair to all: to themselves and others.
After a morning of laughter, I went to roam the streets of the city. I loved these morning walks. My gait has always been somewhat grubby little dance. I walked so carefree and free. My hair developed under the morning freshness of the wind and glistened because the sun. Probably, the first time I thought about the happiness that inspires me, carried forward. It was an incredible feeling of alienation from everything. You just go and nothing else. I felt a lack of understanding in the eyes of passers-by, and only regret that they could not experience the same. I was sorry that they, for their intervening years had never felt the truth of life, not dived into this life in the river. After all, you never think about that, you become wet or not. Jump in the river itself, as if it implies. Deciding to jump, you kind of have to agree consequences. All exactly was the same in real life. If you decided to really get into it, then you have to jump into it desperately to end. That is the meaning.
I heard whistle of wheels in my head and everything was broken. All thoughts were cut off and it seemed that even the fairy inside me was in shock. With her it had never happened, and to me, too. For the first time in my life I truly scared. Everything inside me was thrown into consternation. And with some accuracy I could say that it was not a pleasant sensation. But on life after a bad law comes always good.
I stood there like a stone, resting my hands on the hood of a huge brand new BMW. But my eyes in horror immediately stared ahead. Brunet sat behind the wheel of this killer car. He looked right at me with his incredibly piercing brown eyes. His strengths and raised hands held clutching the wheel. He reminded me a bit of a superhero. But unless we don’t consider the fact that he nearly killed me. In any case, I was grateful that I still could breathe.
“Do not you see where were going? Need to be careful,” with some bitterness, he began to speak, leaving the car.
I didn’t have enough breath to answer him something, but I should say my sympathy to him somewhere started to evaporate. I do not like rude people. Although, I understood that there was all kinds of rudeness explanation. I looked at him incredulously, breathing flying towards me air. After my whole body was filled with oxygen, shock gradually began to leave. Although with fairy, inside me, shock left a little earlier and she started to go crazy again. I could hardly contain this burst of madness inside. I wanted to scream as loudly as it was possible, or just laugh. But I just smiled sweetly and turned back to the stranger, carefully crossed the road. I could not say exactly why did so and not otherwise. Maybe just a new sense of fear was bugging me. Maybe the reason was quite different. While I could not say exactly what it was?
Cast away all aside, I continued to go forward. The wind played with my hair and it seemed with my soul too. Yes, it played with my soul, I was not mistaken. I did not know what it was, but I liked it. I liked to feel it inside me. And it seemed that even the fairy inside of me felt this buzz. Couse all these thoughts in my throat became a bit dry and I, without hesitation, went into the first cafe. “Juice is what we need,” whispered fairy inside me, flopping down on the bottom. Such she was the first time in my memory. I think some sense of shock was useful for both of us. But I definitely felt something else. But I did not know exactly what it was. For my age, I knew a lot, but what happened to me now remained a mystery to me.
Greedily sucking in the juice through a straw, I got a little complacent and fairy inside me too. She, incidentally, quickly returned to her habitual state of madness. Although, at that moment, I felt good and wanted to dance too. Glancing all around, I reluctantly realized that no one person who would be willing to share with me this desire. But as they say, heart will not order. So forgetting about conscience, I quickly straddled the table, still not letting go of my hand a glass of juice. And you know, you know!? I started dancing. It looked the part of a little crazy, but my soul demanded it now and not a second later. All visitors to this cafe were waiting to continue. And it seemed that I with fairy too. I knew she did not expect this from me. But in these moments, I became a fully myself. Maybe why, all my movements looked natural and sincere. Legs and arms surprisingly listened to me and exactly expressed my inner state. If you listen closely to the sound of my sandals, you could hear the melody for which I danced. This moment was divine, but what even more put me in admiration, so was the sound of applause. I could not convey my feelings at this moment. Admiring crowd of people and beaming smiles. This was the best reward for me. But the security service of the cafe stopped this enchanting moment. Two bags of muscle looked sternly at me and went up to the table where I danced. They were very angry and looked up at me. One of them quickly grabbed my legs and pulled down.
“You must leave this place,” one of the men told me.
As a sign of consent, I raised my hands and walked out the door. Behind me I heard the objections and disgruntled exclamations. Still. I understand how people live every day. No fun. It’s awful. I was hoping that my performance a little bit pleased with them. Although, I thought, when the guards returned, they had a long time to listen to the discontent of visitors. Really. No one should interfere with art.
Once on the street under the scorching sun, thirst again swept over me. It was a pity that I could not go to a cafe and order again juice. But honestly it did not upset me, because I got more. Dance helped me to return to the familiar position for me insane euphoria and forget about today’s unpleasant incident. Although this incident did not give forget about itself. Looking into the distance, I saw that same brunette, who was driving the gigantic machine that almost knocked me recently. Only now, this magnificent mountain of muscle looked very confused. Noticing my opinion, the stranger immediately got into his car and drove away. But even after that, I continued to watch, fascinated by the place where a couple of seconds ago he stood. I say in all seriousness … This stranger was not like others. He was so much power, intoxicating power and … and … and mysterious. Yes, he was mysterious. I can not describe it in words. It seemed that when I started thinking about the stranger, I was breathless. It was too strong and unforgettable emotions for those few minutes. It was unimaginable.
“I know you!” said a voice behind me, but I found it very difficult to respond intelligently to it. I looked over my shoulder, although a special desire to do it was not. “You are writer!” again a voice. And these words, I had to say, quite strongly impressed me. Few people were familiar with my work. This meeting was for me one of the strangest things today.
Because of this unusual meeting with a stranger, I’d forgotten about my main passion, which I lived. Write. I wrote almost every waking moment. It did not matter it was another story or conventional notes in my diary. I just loved to write. It seemed to me that as long as my hands sheet and pen was, all was well. I was hiding in the art. But a huge gap was in my heart. I did not know the cause of its occurrence, but every day I continued to fight for the right not to fall into it. Perhaps the meaning of our life consists in it. Overcome barriers within yourself to move on.
Our small town is, in the truest sense of the word, on the edge of the earth. Probably already all have long known that the South Coast of Australia regard the edge of the earth. But few people know that in this place there is a small town with a population of nearly two hundred thousand people. I do not know a lot or a little, and does it matter?! Our city is quite “sad”, I think. People consider themselves neglected, abandoned and unwanted. They are every day go to work, choking in their everyday problems and do not look at the sky. I recently found it. I had a long time to watch from people, to confirm my theory. But despite all their efforts, now I was absolutely sure I could say that people did not look at the sky. They did not look skyward. Their heads were always tilted down and his eyes were sad. But now, when I looked at this woman, I saw some light in her eyes. It was a little noticeable, but it was. I watched with an incredible pleasure in her face, fearing to breathe, not to scare off this fire. But most of all I was struck by another. What struck me was the cause of this spark in her eyes. Yes, exactly. After all, the reason I was. The woman was really glad to see me, and I was so intensely wanted to make her even happier. I wanted to show to feel the crazy, filled with bright colors of life. Fairy inside of me, it seemed, thirsted for that too. But we both were afraid to make mistakes and to frighten off that spark in her eyes.
“What is your name?” I asked.
Woman shyly blushed and looked down at the ground. “No, no, no,” my subconscious cried, and fairy frowned. I was really scared to startle the woman, but even worse break off in her faith in the best. Forces had little, and I could not resist this piercing gaze guard inside me. I had to act. Before, I could finish the dialogue in my head, my body instinctively leaned forward. Hands gently pulled to her hunched back and cupped her behind. I felt like the heart of this woman pounding. But it was not the excitement of her. These were emotion. It was positive emotions. And it was unlikely I would ever be able to forget it.
“I want to make you a gift,” I let her out of his embrace and quickly started digging in my bag.
The woman continued to stare blankly at me with the same gleam in his eyes. Her look was important to me, and I did not want to waste it in vain.
“I want this work was with you,” I handed her a small book in hardcover.
“But …” woman wanted to protest.
I would never have allowed her to give up my gift, because I was pretty sure that this book should be with her. Although, originally, I wrote it for myself. This work was a bit of inspiration for me. And I was grateful to this work, because it really saved me a lot and raised in me the spirit. But I was confident that, this little book was needed the woman.
“Thank you!” woman thanked me, and took the book, continued on his way. I sincerely hoped that now her life’s journey would more joy and light moments. I really hoped so.
It was already almost noon and the sun was getting dangerous. Most of the population of our town at this time did not appear on the streets. And it was not because of the heat … On the street, though it was hot, but that did not hide the cause of the house. And even more so constantly blowing wind made the air temperature was very comfortable. The streets were deserted for other reasons. In our town was not always so. Our ancestors were very cheerful and motivated. In one of the nights of Christmas my mother showed me pictures that were from my grandmother. Grandmother for a long time kept them in a small trunk in the farthest room in the house. I did not know why she hid it from me and my mother. But most of all, the fact had his reasons. Photos were actually very different from the present. And I mean not only that they were black and white, but also about the people who were depicted in these photos. Of course, you might think, they also have been made long ago, but times changed! But I did not say that. I mean the emotions on the faces of these people. They were sincere and full of life. Now it was not. I could not tell exactly what changed, but I understood that the variable was not in our favor. I think it’s clear now why I was so tenderly treated this woman. Because it proved to me that deep down people was the same as at the old photos grandmother. But unfortunately, all this “yummy” was located in the depths of the human soul.
Today was a very eventful day. I felt a bit lost and … And tired. Mom, as usual, was sitting in the kitchen and drinking tea. In our family, it was a bit of a tradition. Every evening we brewed fresh tea and just like that, the singing of various insects outside, sitting up late at night. Sometimes I did not have desire to do it so I took a legitimate cup of tea and went to my room. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. Peace and quiet calmed me and I could easily continue to write another book. On my shelf, there were not so many. The most part remained in the electronic format. I did not know why, but I did not want to see them on my shelf. Perhaps it was because I did not feel that the work was finished. It was happen…
In my mind was so many thoughts that I very much wanted to share. I think that today was some important day for me. But I could not understand why?! What was the reason? My fingers nervously ran on the laptop keyboard. Now I began to struggle with the desire to accommodate all at once in a single word in one sentence. I often had to restrain myself in this. Or rather, I had to hold back the fairy inside, because she inspired my mind to do it. “Do not hurry. All is well “ I said to myself, but it was not very worked. It seems that the energy inside me grew and grew, and I had completely forgotten about my fatigue. Now I would like one. I wanted to run aimlessly. Run and all. “Stop” I said fairy inside. It applies too much effort to drive me crazy. I’m a man, and I could always deal with these emotions. But it seems to me, the fairy did not care. On the contrary, it led her into raptures. But outside it was night and I should cool my ardor. I could not say that for me it was easy. But otherwise I just would explode. Everything inside me could explode, and I did not know what would be the consequences of this explosion. And, frankly, I did not want to know…
I tossed and turned most of the night and in the end, the dream could take hold of me. Sleep was quiet. It has always been for me. Sleep was the only place where you could escape. I think it was given to us by God just for this. So that we could escape from reality and we could relax. For his part it was a very wise idea. And now, I decided to use his idea. But even in this shelter of all, I could not hide from the one, from the image of that young man, whom I met this morning. All in my head now employed them. I did not know how to push him out of my mind. I did not understand why so remember his. Previously, I have not experienced anything like his. And, frankly, I do not want to experience this ever.
The time was four in the morning, but I did not want to sleep. I, as usual, took a thick book in hard cover from under the bed and opened the very first page. This page has had different notes, which I have done recently. I still did not understand what they were, but now everything seemed to fall into place. Now I understood why all of these previously had no value, words. It was “filling” for my new book. In my mind immediately drifted memories of a meeting with the incredible woman and … And the young man … It seems to me that it just had to be continued.
I stood at the huge mirror in the bathroom. I would like to take a cold shower and a little cheer. And then … Then I wanted to write something. It was important to me. This was particularly important, as long as my memories still smelled fresh. But something in my reflection worried me. I was still with both hands and feet, I had a body and two eyes, nose and mouth, a pair of ears, but something has changed. I was a very long time looking at myself in the mirror to see what changed, but it never was able to detect. As if my eyes were not able to capture some important detail. I decided that I did not get hung up on the fact that it was not ready to open up to you. What’s the point!? Quickly took off all my clothes, I went into the shower stall. Cool water drops almost immediately met my red-hot body. It was a pleasure to stand here and just feel this coolness. I was free at this moment. I felt free from the meddlesome fairy inside, the thoughts in my head, everything. Now I was just a natural material, blank and did not feel. It was great. Such feelings were very helpful for me, especially at such an early Sunday’s morning. Today, most people had the day off, but I never thought that this day would be filled with people who would to relax. On the contrary, today would be even more tragic than on weekdays. City filled with even greater sadness than ever. But I did not want to think too much about it. In fact, I wanted to be sure that it was not so. I did not contradict my words, just trying to reason objectively. I’m a writer, and for me, the world looks different, but rather how I see it. I was more than confident that the residents of our town take things as they were and they absolutely did not want to change anything. They did not know what to change. My view of the world was just my view of the world, and nothing more.
My body took a sip of a little cool, and now I was ready to start trembling moment, the moment of the beginning. I was going to breathe life into my next creation, in my new creation. Each new book contained some part of me. It was like another child to the mother. The mother loves her child, because child is part of her, the fruit of her love and incredible hope. Every mother refers to her child with trepidation. In the same way I belong in my books. Special shelf was in my room, where my creations were, and not all of them can be purchased in stores. Some works of the world will never know. It was very personal and uncreated for the audience. Quickly slapping the keyboard from the computer, I tried to concentrate. I had to remember all the details of my yesterday, to join these parts into a single sentence and write down. The main thing was not to miss anything. Start has always been a very important thing. Exactly it set the pace to continue. I always approached with trepidation to the top of the book. For me, it was an exciting and truly unforgettable moment.
After sitting at the computer for almost two hours, I felt some fatigue in my eyes. It was not surprising, because I always considered it an obstacle. Computers, microwave ovens, or televisions are real killers, which we voluntarily helping to kill myself. But despite the fact that I think so, in my house there was the computer and a microwave and TV. Although the TV rather just to complement the interior. My mother and I rarely watched it. I prefer watching TV to write, and my mother read. And so goes our life.
The clock has been nearly seven o’clock in the morning and I could not wait to get outside. Now there was particularly good, quiet and fresh. Yes, fresh. Pulling on a light dress and Greek sandals, I went to taste of freshness. As soon as I left the house, a light gentle breeze greeted me. Outside was gorgeous weather for jogging, but usually on Sundays I did not do it. Sunday was rest. But did not run in this weather would be foolish. Clutching my notebook under his arm for the records, I ran out to the main street of the city. I was going to go on a long journey. I was going to go to the edge of the edge of the Earth. Yes, yes, I wanted to go to the edge of the ocean. It was the end of our town and the official end of the Earth. I loved being there, was especially fond of writing at this place. Under the noise from shock waves could be a lot to think about. I loved the solitude and did not want anybody to share it. I did not want to let anybody into it. If you could go somewhere very far away, where there were no people at all, and there was nothing, where there was only a pen and paper, I would certainly have gone there. But while, it was impossible.
I felt a warm pair of incandescent asphalt. But despite this, the air was not too dry. I would say that it was not at all dry. For a moment, I stopped and caught my attention a small open space along the road. I a long time was not here, but I could say that before there was not this lifeless place. Amazingly, this was like a lifeless piece of killed something. I had never seen the land in this state. It was gray, a little yellow color and it did not grow a single blade of grass. It was like “End of the World.” I gently ran her hand over the edge of a lifeless place. The land was so dry and rough. Perhaps all this my imagination and it was just a piece of land of bedrooms sun. But I can swear that I worry this kind. Even fairy inside me became a bit more serious. And it was seldom.
Cast away all evil thoughts aside, I decided to continue on my way. I just wanted to quickly end up in my most favorite place in the city. I wanted to be on the edge of the earth. In fact, there’s not as many represent. Yes, this place is devoid of civilization, but it does not mean that there is quite bad. I would say the opposite. Nature is very smart and she is able to do incredible things. For example, a very scary-looking, the cave looks amazing inside. Most people make up the different legends about this cave, but only from their not knowing. Once a year, in late summer, all come alive in a cave. This place gets full of life. Unknown origin, blue flowers bloom and all around filled with incredible beauty. Every year I watched this miracle. But I can not tell you exactly the feelings that filled me at that moment. And this year I was going to plunge into a miracle. I wanted to refill this feeling. But I had to spend a lot of time waiting.
Notebook for recording got a little wet from my misted hands. I never imagined that I could so excite. But apparently, my too violent fantasy penetrated deep into my heart. I do not know why, but I was very care about any negative thought that comes into my head. That was why I tried to hammer my head a new plot of a book or just get a little strange. At such times, people think I’m crazy. But I’m just trying to cope with my difficulties. It’s not right to judge me for it. I do not like to feel within myself this alarming pain. Sometimes, in my mind chaos begins and all I want is to be left alone. Stay all alone. But I have not always such a possibility. And often, when I find myself in this position, something inside starts to tear me to pieces and then start my madness. Sometimes it does not entail consequences, such as the case in the cafe. Quite the contrary, my madness becomes the impetus for revolutionary actions. But in other cases, it affected my soul. It was not a pleasant feeling. Believe me.
I stood on the side of the road and tried to divert my thoughts from all these fantasies. Moreover, these were not the most pleasant fantasies. I wanted to continue the path to a target location, but my legs as if petrified and did not listen to me. I think if I was being watched from the side it would be immediately decided that I was crazy. But it was not. I’m just a writer. Young, too emotional, with frenzied fantasy, I’m writer. But now it was unlikely to explain all. Although I think that it did not explain anything.
I was still standing rooted to the spot, but the strength in me slowly accumulate. It seems to me that a little more, and I just could again seize my body and continue their journey. I stood with a concentrated gaze and look forward to my future victory over the other. Fairy inside me too lost power. And it made me very happy. Apparently, she was still take revenge upon me, but at least now she would not create me problems. He waited a few more minutes, I took a step forward. My legs were still a bit too heavy, but I did manage to cope with them. This was an unusual sense of self-control to stop, very inspired me. I walked along the road, to quickly get to the edge. There I was waiting for an incredibly steep cliff. It was very dangerous and people are afraid to be there. But I liked to write there. I liked to sit on this precipice, my legs dangling down and just write. Ocean hugs me flow of fresh air, it plays with my hair and caressed my face. Here I was completely move away from the outside world. Here I become real.
Finally, the city was left behind and now a vast ocean was ahead. It was incredibly beautiful and powerful. I stood there, high above it, but I felt its severity and recalcitrance. Wasting no time, I quickly sat down on the edge of the cliff and quickly opened my notebook. I wanted to quickly write down all the feelings that I felt in that moment. This was very important. After all, our feelings were fickle and need the time to memorializing them until they disappeared. I got here most of the day and soon would begin to darken. I did not have time to stay here as long as I would like, but even that small amount of time that I spend there was very important for me. I very fast moved pen on a piece of paper. I needed the time and only now it had a value. My legs were so tense that it seemed even a little blood flow in them stopped. To relieve stress, I slowly began to swing my feet. A little easier, but I did not have enough space. I was already almost on the edge and move on was dangerous, but the desire to play down over this dangerous and silent ocean just gripped me. I became obsessed with this idea and, therefore, moving closer to the edge a little more, I became violently shake my feet. My whole body was moving to the beat of the feet and, for a moment, I forgot about the danger. Waves roared beneath me, to strike the foot of the cliff and with a squeal broke apart. All of it was just amazing. But in reality, I was hung over, unimaginably high cliff, and there was no one to save me if something happens. From this conclusion my body jerked back and sandals, with the right leg, flew into the water. I do not know that at this point I was more worried now that I was half-undressed, or how he could get off. As it was known, sandals did not so easy to remove from the human foot. My hands immediately began to prowl around. I let my head in a terrible idea. It was an unpleasant picture appeared before my eyes. I saw my notebook flew down into the water. But it was just my secret fears. So I had to make sure that the fear and pain, and that was with my records all right. Finally, feeling one of the most expensive of my things, I was flopped back with ease. Below me was only the ground. Small grass tingled my back. They were not such as to think. From the imaginary softness nothing left my back. Now the grass was somewhat different, more rough and tough. But I continued to lie like that for a few minutes. I ignored it tingling on the back and behind the ear. I just wanted to relax. I had to relax.
I got up from the ground was not feeling any desire to do so. But soon the night had come and I had to go home. But as soon as I looked up from the ground, cold and a little rough wind hit me in the face. I frantically opened my mouth, trying to gulp air. The sky at one point was to blacken and become a black hole. I was not myself to look at it. When you’re all alone, away from home and the people you do not want to experience any jokes of nature. I quickly got up from the ground to head toward the house. Frankly, I had forgotten that half barefoot. And perhaps I should worry less it just such a moment. But for some reason, it worried me.
“You’re just loser,” fairy gained strength and began to speak with me.
Honestly, for me it would be better if she was still silent. The sky above my head became darker and darker. I sincerely cared about the changes in the weather, but … I knew that in the dry land would not be anything to grow, and I was in pain at the thought that the beauty of this place could disappear forever. But at that moment, when over my head was a black sky, I could only think of the danger to which I subjected myself, being all alone away from the city. Although, somewhere deep down, forgetting about all the things that bothered me, I was sincerely happy that after a long and dry days, the heavens still would not let die the ground.
“You better support me, rather than trying to annoy or humble,” I said quietly this “know-all”.
In the city, I rarely told to her. I was trying to ignore it. People actually believe that I have not all there, and if I’m still with myself will speak, it is quite a disaster. But now we were all alone, and I could afford to finally shut her up. Maybe it was a bit cruel of me, because if not for her, I would be here all alone, but sometimes it became unbearable to listen to her talk. The sky grew black, and I was afraid that would not have time to get home. Quickly moving the feet, I stepped into the road. Ahead was a long journey, but I had to at least try to get ahead of the looming cloud. I tried to go forward and not look to the sides, so as not to lose a second. My hands were pressed to the chest notebook. My face has started to drop cold drops from the sky. I lifted my head up to assess the situation and immediately regretted that I did it. I love the rain, but to be honest, I was a little scared the sky. Or rather its color scared me. It was too dark, too harsh and exciting. Without stopping, I went ahead and hoped to be able to get home before the storm would begin strong wind and everything else that happens in this kind of weather. Going a little further, I noticed a car in the distance, standing along the road. It was very familiar to me, but the rain began to increase, so I could not see it well. In any case, I did not think I should be afraid of this car. Although most, I thought otherwise, but it was sometimes helpful to trust feelings. I did not feel in danger. Of course, being of sound mind, I had to work around the car side, but instead, I boldly went ahead. The car was getting closer and closer, but there was no sense of alarm. When I came very close, I realized. This car was really familiar to me. Of course, how could I forget this pile of iron, which I almost knocked. All the same perfect black. This BMW even such conditions it was impossible not to spoil. Going round the car, I noticed a young man. Just that same driver by the grace of which I had almost faded into the other world.
“Here’s a surprise,” fairy again began to talk to me.
I hated it when she did that. It was something like an invasion of privacy. And she did it all the time. Meaning of her life was to intrude into my life again and again. I ignored her words and moved closer to the driver. This young man was very impressive, as in the day of our first meeting. Wind and rain began to intensify. I did not hear anything except blows water on the car and the howling of the wind over your head. Although, I did not need to listen. This stranger did not pay any attention to me, and certainly not talking to me.
“Have you problems with the car?” I came even closer, to announce their presence.
It was the only thing I could do or say at the moment. It was the only thing that came to my mind. No hello, no how are you doing. Yeah, I know how to start a conversation.
“Yeah. And what are you doing here?” finally, he noticed me.
And though his eyes were still downward with the interior of the car, you know, the carburetor and all that, I was not strong in these pieces, he kept talking to me. It was pretty rough. He did not even raise his head to answer. It was not well with him. This gesture made me nervous and felt useless. Although, apparently, I did not really to be there. There was nothing I could to help him, but to continue to stand up and distract him. I was standing next to the car for some time. I and the stranger did not say anything. I was all wet, and even my notes in the notebook could not avoid such a fate. My teeth started to tap, and the body began to shiver. The weather was not the summer, in contrast to the clothing that was on me. Looking around, I could barely see where we are. Wall of rain barred me visibility. But, after analyzing all in my head, I realized that we are not very far from that cave, about which I spoke earlier. Now there was nothing surprising, but at least it was possible to hide. Rain and the wind were getting stronger. I was ready to run to the side of the cave, but I could not leave this man here all alone. We did not have such a big city. Here almost everyone knows each other. Even if you are not personally familiar with this person, ask your mom, aunt or some other family member, and they will exactly know who you mean. But this man was clearly not one of our parts, and certainly did not know these people, like me. For my part, it would be cruel to throw his here all alone.
“So and not leave. Tell him that even though he almost never hit you on the last morning, do not you leave him here to die as a sign of revenge,” fairy did not fall silent.
But if you think she would say a thing. After all, I could really get his attention, reminding him about yesterday’s incident.
“We’re with you almost close people. Just yesterday my life was in your hands but …” I do not have time to finish.
My teeth started banging against the cold and breathless with fear, fear to speak with this man.
“You should be careful,” he interrupted me and stared hard into my eyes.
He had incredibly beautiful eyes. His dark hair, which was very wet from the rain, emphasized the seriousness of his face. He’s quite a long look at me with his brown, Burn through the eyes. This silence was unbearable and disturbed me. I could no longer be in this position. Chill completely paralyzed my body, causing him to shudder stronger.
“I just wanted to offer you a shelter in a cave until the rain to stop,” through the sound of teeth, I said.
After my words, his eyes became a little warmer, and now did not make me feel uncomfortable.
“Wait a minute,” he said, a little dry.
I did not understand why I had to wait, but dutifully continued to stand. I watched every movement of this unknown person to me. I watched, fascinated, as his strong hands easily opened the car door. His clothes were wet, and I could see every movement of the muscles of his torso. Through wet clothes it was easy. I even stopped noticing how my body trembles, and is no longer restrain knock teeth. I just watched.
“Put it up,” he continued to talk to me and handed me his jacket.
I think it was not reasonable, because after a few seconds it become wet. But I did not want to argue, so I just took out of his hands that jacket. I was glad that at least for a short while, he would be able to warm me. I quickly wrapped myself in it, and without looking up, went to the side of the cave. On the way, I was plagued by doubts. I felt uncomfortable with this kind of thinking. Maybe I made a mistake, showing a stranger an amazing place in the cave. Or even wrong, that I allowed him to come so close to me. But now, I could not change anything. After all, I myself asked him to come with me. I was terribly angry at myself for it and evil on the fairy who treacherously silent. It was not without its participation, something happened that had happened.
“How do you know, where do we go?” voice behind disturbed my thoughts.
I had to explain to this person that I grew up on this land, and I was too curious for a normal person. I need the ball to explain to him that all these places inspire me and tell that I like to write in these places. But I did not want to open. I too cherish my solitude. I have almost no friends. My only friend was my mother. And then, just because she never tried to get into my loneliness and brighten it with her presence. I used to keep all the people in the distance. It suits me, and I did not want to change anything.
“Just follow me,” I replied.
I do not know if he heard me or not. I did not have the strength to cry. Cold wind and rain beating against the person made me spend all the energy. Forces remained only to have to compress in the hands of wet pad.
We stopped at the entrance to the cave. The stranger was standing behind me, and I felt that he felt some uncertainty. I felt a lack of confidence on his part. Although, it was a bit unclear to me. He was a strong young man. He should have been ashamed to be uncertain in my company. But it was just my opinion. Perhaps I was wrong about all of his feelings.
“Wait out rain here,” as loudly as possible I said, and went into the cave.
My body was tense from the cold. Each muscle was stretched like a string. I could no longer stay in the cold rain. I just had to have in some shelter, take a breath, warm up and enjoy a little quiet. From the sound of rain in my head all mixed up. I even stopped to hear the fairy inside me. It was very difficult to be in the exertion. This noise was drowning you. You are slowly but surely began to die in these mixed sounds. I hate the noise. It was disgusting to hear in my head sounds weird empty.
We entered the cave and I was finally able to get rid of this noise in my head. Cave did not look very good, and I would say, a little intimidating. But it was the best place to shelter from the rain.
“I would never have come here. My name is Russell. Sorry, I almost did not send you to the secular,” he went into the cave behind me, shaking raindrops from his hair and spoke with me.
Usually, when a person meets someone, he smiled, showing that its goodwill. It was a bit of a habit, and so did all decent people. But this man obviously did not know anything about this tradition. His voice had a lot of intonation of colors, but her face was quite empty. It was very false to understand what he was feeling at that moment. He was a serious and important. Yes, I would say, very important. All this made me doubt his integrity and balance.
“My name is Angelina. Nice to meet you. You do not have to worry about it. I’m alive,” I replied.
I wanted to bring a smile on his face, but my attempt to do so failed. All I could do was just look at it. I watched his movements, watched him with interest looked at the cave. Emotions on his face did not change even when he saw something truly surprising him. For me, it was a mystery that I really wanted to solve, but now I did not have this power. Returning to the cave entrance, I sat on a small bump in the ground. This bulge was formed due to the huge stone. I did not know the story, which describes how it got here, but I liked to sit on it. Especially, in that magical moment, when miracle was the cave.
But now, I was pleased to sit here and just watched the rain. He was so strong and so noisy. I loved to look at it from the side. It is an incredible feeling when you sit in silence, you are distant from what is happening. You see how cold drops of water falling from the sky. You kind of far away from it all, but you do not participate in this. You’re just an observer.
“So how do you know this place,” asked Russell and sat down beside me.
His presence did not distract me and do not disturb. I’m not worried about the fact that this man is in my space. I’m not worried about what he says to me. He asked me a question and I had to give an answer.
But I did not feel the pressure. Well, you know … Normally, when you ask the question, do you feel a duty to respond to it. You can choose to tell the truth or lie. But what would have been your choice, you have to answer. This is a prerequisite. Can not argue with. But I did not feel this obligation when he asked me a question. In the words of Russell, there was no clear requirement that I gave the answer.
“Where are you from? You’re obviously not from our parts,” I asked another question.
His face did not flinch no muscle. Any other normal person would not be able to respond so indifferent if his question answered question. But he took it for granted. If he did not care. I felt this man incredible strength. I felt the incredible power of his spirit. It manifested itself in his every move and every word.
“Yeah. You’re right, I do not here” he answered me.
His voice was so calm again. Too calm. But I even liked. I was pleased to be with this person. He was there, but not. You kind are not alone, but at the same time, no one will bother with their presence. I’ve never experienced such feelings. His eyes slowly crossed the border of my sight. Now he looked at me. On his face, still nothing changed. If any particular time stood still on his face and does not move his emotions on. I should be concerned about it, but I did not feel like something wrong. As if for me did not matter what the outside. If I knew everything, that was inside him. I can not explain it, but there was something about the man, which was not in anyone else. I wanted to talk to him again, but I did not know about. I just stared at him. Self-consciousness, which usually occurs in such moments, disappeared somewhere. I looked into his expressive brown eyes, which were aimed at me intently, and just enjoyed.
“The rain ended. I’ll drive you home. It’s late and you should not go one,” his speech was very expressive, though very diplomatic.
I lost track of time. Rain was really running out.
“But your car was broken” I replied.
I remember that the car was broken, otherwise, what was the point of sitting here if it was possible to go home!?
“She sometimes overheats and takes time, so that it started up again,” his voice was still dry.
I do not understand all of these pieces in car and therefore only allowed myself to blindly believe him. But honestly, I did not feel in danger with this man. I was comfortable to be around him. And when you consider that I did not have friends, and I rarely spent time in someone else’s company, today I had a good day.
We walked to the car, but now he led me. I was surprised that he was able to so accurately remember the way. In the rain I was afraid to even go astray, and I knew these roads. I could not understand who he was and I was intrigued. For me, this man was the greatest mystery. I could not understand it, but as it were, and understood. These conflicting feelings made me fall over and over again in thought.
“You’re crazy” he said sharply.
In the car, there was silence, and he broke it with a phrase. I’m even a little confused.
“Was it a question or a statement?” I asked, trying to keep a straight face.
“It’s the fact …” then followed by silence.
I did not understand how I react, I did not know what to answer. I am not offended by this remark, since he was not the first person who told me about it. Although, what he did for me this conclusion after just a few hours of communication with me, I was a little frustrating. He did not even dare to think that I had an imaginary friend and that in the dream I was riding on a unicorn. I find it funny. This person has surprised me. He never told me anything about what I was half barefooted. He was not worried about what I staggered through the caves and rushed under the car. Perhaps in his words all huddled together. Maybe the words “you’re crazy” already include it all. But he did not specify any of the strange things that were so real. From this conclusion I felt a bit awkward. I slowly tucked his feet under the seat to hide the absence of one sandal. But it seems that it is more than a gesture drew attention to my feet.
“And I mean it,” he pointed me to my feet.
“I … I do not think it is so deadly. In the end, I’m not naked”.
“Me it pleases”.
His voice was calm and composed. But it gets a lot easier when he said “I mean it,” because it meant that he did not think me crazy. He believes crazy my behavior and how I looked at that moment. You know, I’ve never met people like it. But there was one problem that stood between us. Conversation we did not get and I knew that in the silence we could better understand each other.
“Here my house,” I pointed a finger at the window.
He did not even look at the place that I have specified. His leg slowly pressed the brake and the car stopped. I just wanted to leave, but I had to thank him.
“Thank you” I tried to look normal, but I was more than confident, my face looked confused.
“Up Soon, Angelina” his voice was softer than before.
I quickly got out of the car and crossed the road. In my mind flashed a picture where I looked awkward. I wanted so much that he left as quickly as possible, but his car was traveling at the speed of a turtle. I tried to stay calm and barely restrained desire in all haste to rush home.
“How many can ignore me?” voice fairies were unfriendly.
“You’re know you can not be ignored. I thought you left me”.
To be honest, if I was cut off from the world. Among Russell’s my thoughts were to renounce all earthly things. I continued to walk toward the door. My head was heavily tilted down to my lips were not visible. I had to talk to a fairy, but she was real only to me.
“Today you are later. You should not go for the whole day without warning,” my mother met me right on the doorstep.
I looked up in alarm. I knew that she was worried, and I was very sorry that I have received. But the last thing I wanted to tell her that. Do you know any other mother would continue his questions and be sure to have brought their adult child to a nervous breakdown. But this is not about my mom. She never cross the line that separates the outside world and my world. She never disturbed my space and completely trusted me. I do not deserve one year that trust. I had to spend a lot of time in anticipation of our relations to become what they were now.
“Have you had tea?” I asked.
“Yes, but your mug is waiting for you. I’m going to bed. Good night”.
She kissed me on the forehead and left. Oh yes, now I can enjoy the traditional mug of tea and a little pee. Of course, if the fairy starts to fill that communication, it lost today. I gently put my notebook on battery. The heating was off, but I was hoping she would be able to dry out there. Hot mug of tea stood alone on the table and waiting for me. Every evening I drank a huge mug of green tea, and I believed this tradition would always be with me.
In my room, everything was as usual. Mom calls it chaos. But I feel comfortable amidst all this junk. I love that this place is far from ideal. It is real. And let many people call this beastliness or even some dirty words, for me this is normal. Only you do not think that in my room will be available soon cockroaches or rats. No, this is not so. Just imagine being in a huge house you have your little haven. Maybe about a big house I was exaggerating, but about the shelter I got to the point. My room is in the most remote part of the house. Our house has one floor, as opposed to all the houses in our neighborhood. Its uniqueness lies in the presence of two huge columns on the porch. Because of them, I think our house will stand for more than a century. But in any case, to live in it I really like.
Outside the window was very dark. After the rain the air outside wet and cold were. I quickly pulled off all my wet clothes put on her pajamas. Wet hair, I wrapped a towel. Today, the wind and rain battered them well.
“Your new friend is very strange,” fairy tried to speak with me.
To be honest, I myself understand that perfectly. But I did not want to discuss it. I played music on the computer and stuck in-ear earphones. I was hoping that since I did not have to listen to her drivel. Now, it annoyed me. I opened a text editor. There has already been previously created me file. But it was designed for an entirely different. And now I want to write a few lines about the stranger. Well, you know, I have said that our memory is too unreliable. In life we do not pay attention to emotions or other small parts, but for me it was always important. I always tried to write with fresh memories. It was a bit of a personal recipe of luck.
I tried to ignore all extraneous. I had to focus on Russell. I very well remember his eyes, remembered, as he says, but that’s all. That’s all I know. It had very little to produce a portrait of the hero. I just knew that I needed to continue. I need more than to hear his voice. I need more than to see his eyes. I realized that I was born into this incredible human interest. I found another story. I found the main character of the story, and therefore, could not afford to miss this opportunity. I woke up in an inhuman passion.
I could not sleep for a long time. Perhaps, I allowed the fairy to talk to me therefore.
“You’ve never been this,” she said very seriously.
“What are you? I do not understand”.
“I’m inside you. I got you. You can not fool me”.
Voice fairy sounded very confident and serious. I was surprised that, because that is what it has always been the reason for my madness. She never thought about the consequences, never was reasonable. In my head all mixed up, and I did not want to answer it. I did not want to talk. Deciding to ignore all of its reasonable remarks, I wrapped in a soft blanket. Cool air that came into the room through the open window, gently touched my face and fills the lungs with freshness. I would like to lie here and so always. But I was only night.
Morning sun rays penetrated into my room and dropped on my face. I blinked and even stronger buried in the pillow. I did not want to wake up. And judging by the lighting in my room, I slept through my favorite six in the morning. But I did not regret it. Perhaps I was left to lie like that all day, but it would not suit me. You know, sometimes you’re doing something, and then very sorry about this. So, I know exactly what I would regret the time spent. I quickly threw a blanket foot to the side, so as not to let my laziness take over. Sun met my body almost immediately. As if only that it and waited.
“Can you share the plans for this day?” fairy spoke to me, but now her voice was as usual.
He was crazy and too alive.
“She’s back!” I thought, and smile shone on my face. I think it was a good start to the day.
“As usual. Search of adventure,” my answer was a joke.
Starting your day, I knew only one thing that I would do for sure. On her part, was very impolite to ask me such questions. I think she said it only because I wanted to have a conversation. But I did not mind.
Without changing their usual habits, the first thing I checked the mail. Usually, there is not a lot of letters. And, knowing this, I still do it every morning just to soothe your soul. This is equivalent to an attraction on Twitter or Facebook. Regardless of whether there is a new message or notification, the user will go back again and again. I opened your inbox. This folder was about six letters, and all from one person. I was surprised by this, but at the same time intrigued. My head immediately started flickering assumptions. I’m getting some letters from readers my books or different advertising from any company. I have a very small audience of readers, so this option I did not consider. I quickly opened a folder with letters and … My eyes widened and his jaw hanging. All of these letters were from Russell.
“Good morning! I hope you read this letter in the morning!”
“I almost hit you once. Do you remember?”
“Do not ask, whence recognize your e-mail address.”
“All the same, I will not tell!”
“Just write me. I’ll wait.”
All these mini letters came from him. I stared at the computer and could not understand what was happening. All these letters were very strange. I did not want to answer. Or wanted? All mixed up in a jiffy. But I myself wanted to meet this man. I could not afford to miss this great hero for his upcoming book.
“Is you answer him?” fairy can not contain.
“Of course. We will reply to him!” I said almost without experiencing any emotion.
“Good morning! And yes, you were right, I would read this post in the morning. You can congratulate yourself for insight.”
I sent this message, but I realized that the probability to get an answer quickly too small. My hands were sweating even a little bit. Perhaps excitement. I thought that this person might become my friend. Maybe I have found the same man. I’ve always had one. Friends I have, of course, have been, but a long time ago, as a child. Then I have not talked to being suspicious in itself, and not wrote at all was different. As a child, we have only one purpose: to have fun. But when you grow up, your life priorities change. You change. All around you is changing. I sat back in his chair, and just pounded his fingers on the table. I can sit in this position for hours. All that I was tied to the outside world at this moment, it was just the sound of your fingers. All my mind I was somewhere very far away. It was only the faint sound of fingers kept me in the aisles of the allowable travel in a fantasy world. Usually at this point in your head the most sensible idea came. But this time I could not stay long in this incredible state. I snapped open my eyes because of the high-pitched buzz. It was a notification of a new message. My first thought was about Russell. She was the first and most faithful. This message was really from him. Had he spent the night at the computer!?
“I’m so glad, that I’m guessing. Since you do not sleep, I dare to assume that you have not had a breakfast, I want to invite you for breakfast. Come at the cafe where you danced on the very day when I almost hit you. Waivers will not be accepted. More I will not go on mail, so I wait for you there. By the way, I’m waiting for you thereby the stage ON WHICH you dance. “
How could he know about the crazy things!? While it may have been better. He needs to know who will be having breakfast with him. Although was not very happy that he almost did not leave me out. I certainly never thought to give up, but with his hand would be decently leave right choice for me. After all, I could not agree to this. At this point, it seemed to me that he was a little broke the boundaries of acceptable. It seemed to me that he crossed the line and got into my space. I almost saw in him a friend. But maybe I was wrong about him. Last night it seemed to me that he is the ideal man. It seemed to me that he is the one who can keep it together without violating the border and not interfering in my loneliness. But now I was not sure of that.
“That’s right, my girl! We do not need. You will take with him the material and let him going to hell,” fairy quickly realized my thoughts.
Her voice was as crazy and a little revolutionary. Now I know this lady. Inside of me again it started raging feeling. Once again I felt the madness within myself. It was like … Well, you know the feelings of a man who for a long time spent in the desert without water, and now, he’s got his long-awaited sip. You feel that bliss. Something like that, I felt it all the time. I realized that this is all I have. That is how I should be.
“But for breakfast I still go,” I said quite a stern voice.
I looked at myself in the mirror and brushing hair. I wore a white dress made of light material and very light make-up. In my daily life, I looked about the same as now, only in contrast to today’s image, I painted colorless lip gloss. I felt the tension inside. Even breathing became a little harder. Probably my loneliness delayed. I do not want to turn into a savage, but if I had a choice, I would have closed in this room and never come out here. Although, I had a choice, but to do so, it means forever to break contact with the outside world. And even the sound of fingers stopped to bind me with reality. I had no right to prevent it. Breathing in deeply, I made the last stroke of the comb, and left the room. Confidence and fear fight in me.
I walked to the front door to go outside, but in my mind it was all empty. If my mother could see me now, she would be very surprised. Probably, it was good thing that she was at work. Otherwise, I would have a long time to explain what was happening to me. Though we lived in the same house, she knew little of me. Very often I found myself thinking that the only creature on this earth that knew me well, lived inside of me. Well, except that with it no one could talk. I hoped that this would allow me to keep all of my secrets.
The front door slammed shut behind me, and I was on the street. Raging stream of fresh air rushed into my space. He played with my hair and dress almost all the way. Only occasionally, I was able to hide from it in the back streets.
“I hope I do not look, well … So if I had all morning brings beauty,” I had to ask about this fairy.
I very worried that I would give my view of Russell misleading. I was uncomfortable with the idea that he could think of my liking to him. After all, it is not so. I am a lonely man, and so it should be. That’s the whole me.
“I would be dressed modestly. But it’s too late. We came,” her voice was very calm.
I was standing right in front thereby cafe where not so long ago put on a show.
“I hope I will be allowed,” I whispered to myself.
When I opened the door to the cafe, these frilly bells on the door jingled. For the first time in a long time I was embarrassed. Although mostly I am a little scared that the guards will immediately notice me and throw away, like a kitten. Wasting no time, I quickly looked around to all visitors, until I saw him. As always Russell was unfazed. He just kept his promise. His persona really expected me for that table, where I danced. Trying not to attract attention, I slowly walked all the visitors and came to him. Two mugs and a small teapot stood right in the middle of the table. I would quietly flop on the chair that stood in front of a seated Russell. But as soon as I approached the table, he in a moment left his seat and walked over to the chair. Besides myself, which I had planned to land unnoticed. Slowly pushing him, he invited me to sit down. All this idea could not be overlooked. Every visitor and even the waiters with cashiers began to look at us. And I’m not talking about the guards. Their predatory looks very first started watching us.
“Thank you,” I tried to look imperturbable.
Russell looked at me in response, and I could not read anything from his eyes again. It’s just unbearable. Russell is mystery century. I so wanted to at least once to understand his. But his face was anything that could help me with this.
“I’m glad to see you” he sat right in front of me and his eyes looked at me again.
I felt the glances of visitors and staff. It made me nervous. I rushed through the eyes and side to side, but I tried, that it did not look too stupid.
“Do not worry,” Russell spoke to me again.
“What,” I looked at him with a smile.
I was not comfortable and I wanted to get out of here. I do not know why I was so worried about all this. And fairy did not talk to me. Her support or at least the mere presence would be very helpful to me now. Previously, I had not experienced this. I did not feel this even when I danced for this same table. Now I am very sorry that I agreed to come here again.
“Do not worry. Today, we are the main guests. But if you want, we can go. But only after we have tea,” he picked up the kettle and poured the tea into the mugs.
Again, I felt that I have left out. But then I remembered the purpose of his arrival. Perhaps the fairy is not near, but her voice sounds like in my head now. Remembering about goal, I became a little easier. I was able to relax, but not until the end. But it was enough to get a little look normal.
“Okay,” I spoke very confidently.
His hands very skillfully kept mug. He was elegant and at the same time strict. This incredible combination of qualities in him brought me in astonishment. I would like to know about him as much as possible, but it was not the right time to start asking him personal questions.
“I want to invite you to the opening of an art gallery my friend. It will be tomorrow,” his eyes looked straight at me.
I did not immediately able to collect thoughts together, to respond. Perhaps it did not look very elegant, but I almost spit tea directly on the table. His proposal was very unexpected. I did not know if I wanted spend with this person still at least a minute. He is secretive and very unpredictable. I did not know what I need to do when I was next to him. Sometimes, it seemed to me, that with him I lost some part of myself.
“Yes!” the word suddenly blurted out of my mouth.
I stared at him with wide eyes. It was very difficult to understand how I let this happen. But there was no way back.
“I’ll Pick you up tomorrow at seven,” he looked very happy and a little cocky.
I smiled back and then began to drink my tea.
“You’re not told me where you’re from…” I decided to ask him a question.
Russell once looked at me. I knew that he was not very pleased my question, but he thought little about what makes me happy. In this we were like.
“I Frequent in different places and never tell where I am. After all, it does not matter. I’m here now and that’s all that value,” he looked like some kind of sage who said it is not clear.
I am well aware that I need to try very hard to collect material for a book. He is a solid mystery, and I want to solve it. I have to solve it.
“I take you home,” he said and walked over to me.
Russell held out his hand to me, so I got up from the table. It was like some kind of performance. Everything was too unusual. Nowadays, individual male did not bother to similar signs of attention. They live easier. Much easier.
That evening, when I first came in his car, I could not think that ever again find myself in it. Even if I had someone said this, I did not believe it. But now, I was sitting in the same place as in the evening. I sat with the same person as in the evening. It was like deja vu. It seemed that I was finally going crazy. First talking to an unknown creation within itself, but now I see the future. This is absurd. I began to shake his head and side to side and on my face appeared a little hysterical smile. I did not care what he thinks about me. I was not ready for this stage of madness. Everything has to be gradual. I was not ready for such changes. I was not ready. Russell did not pay any attention to me. His eyes quickly looked at the road. His strong hands he clutched the steering wheel, ignoring what is happening around. And me too. Although, it was very wise, with his side. He already said that I’m crazy. Perhaps he had nothing more to add.
“Thank you for breakfast,” he said, when the car pulled up to my house.
I was very happy that he spoke to me. For a moment it seemed to me that he wished he had invited me to the show. But after these words, for my soul was warmer.
“See you tomorrow,” I responded very sharply and quickly jumped out of the car.
Analyzing its behavior in the cafe, I knew immediately that he was going to get out of the car and open the door for me. That’s why my actions were so fast and a bit harsh. I did not want him to do it. He is not obliged to do so. His behavior reminds me of the courtship, but I do not need it. I considered him as a candidate only as a friend and nothing more.
“We’re once again lost contact. I’m evil because this,” fairy spoke to me when I opened the door to the house.
“You’re not even imagine how I missed you!” my words were absolutely true.
I really missed you. There’s a cafe I really missed her conversations inside. I never thought I would be so in need of her madness. But apparently I did not appreciate until her significance.
It’s only dinner and I need to figure out what to do yet. I immediately thought of Russell’s invitation. The first time I was concerned about one of the most important women’s issues. What do I put on!? In my wardrobe there is hardly something suitable. But in the store, I will not go. I do not want to do it now. If I will run into the store, it means that I attach to this event and the next meeting with Russell is very important. I should not do it. As a sign of my domestic protest, I took the first book from the shelf and plopped down on the bed. By chance, in my hands was my very first book «Les Miserables heaven». This book keeps so much love. Some of the places in this book washed my tears. Because of their dependence on the loneliness I can never let into your life the opportunity of love. This book is quite sad, but at the same time quite an inspiring way. I opened the very last page and started to read the last word.
“Love swing our bodies that it burned. Since it was the death of paradise. And I’m ready for it to burn for eternity.”
These words are very profound. But I find it hard to understand it. I read it again and again. I would like to read them again and again.
“Do you remember that dress you bought last year? It is luxury and you do not have to wear it. Maybe this is just a case for it,” fairy spoke to me very encouraging.
I have completely forgotten about this dress. And yes, the fairy was right, this dress was luxurious and I had nowhere to put on it. But maybe now it will be put on just right. I quickly jumped out of bed and opened the cupboard. Casually folded me things fell on me as soon as I opened the door. It was, of course, does not hurt, but it is unpleasant. Although in fact it is because of my laziness, yesterday I did not send these dirty things in the box. I slowly pushed these things tumbled to the side, and began to look for that same box with the dress. In my memory, did not survive the exact place where I put it away. But it must be in cupboard. I know for myself and it is unlikely I would have thought to remove it to another location. Neatly folded things no longer looked quite so neatly folded. If my mother saw it, she’d have thought that in the cupboard visited tornado. Although it is possible she immediately guessed that my handiwork. I am a very long time rummaging in cupboard and it seems time to explore it fully. But the dress was not there. Spin has already started whining because of what I’ve been standing in an awkward position. I slowly sat down and, throwing hands back, sprawled on the floor. In the back, a piercing pain. I could feel my spine stretched out along the floor. Muscles began to relax, and the pain to go away. Lightweight head turned to the side, I noticed a box under the bed.
“It is not very good I know myself,” I said with annoyance.
I quickly pulled out a dark red box from under the bed and blew it with a small layer of dust. Desire to try it soon came over me. I did not want to lose a second. I pulled off all my clothes, and stood with the dress in her hands. When I bought it, and could not even imagine that I put on it. It seemed to me that a similar event will not give. But I was wrong. Carefully putting on a dress, I cautiously looked in the mirror. It is fantastic. I could never think that I can be so beautiful.
“I’m not going to look like … well …” I tried to explain my feelings fairy.
“You’re going to be the perfect. We will be the most beautiful,” she said, enchanted voice.
I am glad that she supports me. True pleases. I carefully took off her dress and put him back in the box. I would like to quickly put on it. I have never felt so beautiful.
The street is already starting to get dark and my mother should come soon. I decided that today was my turn to make tea. I wanted to make it unusual. Well, I wanted to make it not just from green tea leaves, but from something else. My body immediately cheered up by these thoughts, and I felt a surge of joy within myself.
“Come on, Let us make a mad tea,” fairy said laughing hysterically.
In the kitchen, my mother always kept various impurities for tea: mint, chamomile, dried rose petals and various other fragrant plants. Usually we drank green tea classic and never used some additions to it. I can not even imagine what it took to keep it all. But in any case, now these spices in handy. I mix almost all the dried herbs, and took as a basis for the traditional green tea. The flavor was great. Delicate scent of roses led the others. I love roses, maybe that’s why for me, their flavor was leading. As soon as I finished making tea, Mom came into the kitchen. She looked surprised and, I would say, confused.
“I decided to cook today tea without assistance,” I began to make excuses.
I do not know why we both felt uncomfortable because of this. Every evening we drink tea, and I can not understand why her so surprised that I made it today.
“You used almost did not drink tea with me. Usually you’ve been taking the cup and went into the room. But today you cooked it myself and, as I understand it, are going to drink it with me,” she pointed to the two clubs, which stood on the table.
The first time I caught myself on thought that have not spent time with her. I almost began to sink in myself. Outside world dimmed in my eyes, and I was beginning to wean from him. Perhaps I felt so uncomfortable today because of this. The cafe was not the same I do that before. After meeting with Russell something in my stable and monotonous world snapped. Has failed. And I could not say that I was not happy. In my eyes, before everything was different. I saw my city, the residents of my city, plunged into darkness. In their eyes, I could see the sadness and melancholy. Everyone I met was unhappy in own way. But he was also happy in their own way. As I was. Bad mood was in my life too. I was crazy, but in my crazy world was depression. I could not understand how I did not notice it before.
We drank tea for a long time and just talked. To a large extent, we shared our impressions about today. But I was not very honest with her. During this long time, while we were talking, I was listening more than talking. Sometimes my thoughts went too far and stopped to hear her. But it seems to me that it was more important that I sat with her at the table. We missed communication. Both missed.
“Tomorrow I go to the opening of the exhibition in the gallery. Come late, so do not wait for me. Okay?” I warned her in advance.
Most likely in the morning I did not see her, so I found it prudent to warn her now. I expected any parent instruction, but she just smiled in response.
“Okay, have fun!” she answered me and walked away.
I sat and watched away a few minutes. Once, everything started to change. I felt somewhat misleading, and in such situations, I write. Especially today, I did not touch my work. About Russell I was able to learn very little, but today I was able to learn a lot about yourself. Maybe in my life and something has changed, but it is certainly not my love to record everything. As soon as I think that now I will continue to write as my body crawl. I can not imagine my life without it. Even if you suddenly change the world I can not refuse it. Write it is for me means a lot. This is my anti-depressant. This is my sweetness. It’s a part of me.
I came into the room, and my eyes fell on the computer. Notification on a new message flashes on the screen. I assumed from whom these letters, but I had to make sure.
“I wanted to say goodnight! Angelina, do not forget that I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven!”
This letter was so official. I did not even want to think about our friendship.
“He’s too boring for us,” fairy spoke very smug.
“You’re talking to me was the rarer,” I wanted to move the subject.
“You become less need me.”
“You’re right. I was surrounded by a fellowship for a long time.”
“You’re must unravel this mysterious gentleman. You should write about him.”
“I want to unravel this mysterious gentleman. I want to write about him.”
I came to this conclusion very surprised myself. Immediately, before my eyes turned his eyes. I remember it expression to the smallest detail. His eyes were a bit sad, as many people. But it was filled with something else. I drew attention to it from the very first of our meeting. It seemed to me he was not like others. Maybe on the surface it was hard to notice. But the heart could not be fooled. He did not like everyone.
“Good night, Russell! I remember, thank you.”
I sent him a reply message before I made some notes in a new notebook. Then, I fully described our meeting in a cafe today. I tried to convey all the emotions that I experienced at that moment. Joy, confusion, resentment, embarrassment again all presented in me today. It was so emotional day. Even now, I still felt the taste of all these emotions in my own language. I sat with my thoughts for a long time. Was already well past midnight and I had to go to bed. Tomorrow I will find a new day. Need to sleep.
At night I slept well. To my surprise, I quickly fell asleep. Usually, I toss and turn half the night, before sleep. But now the dream obeyed me at once. In the morning, I did not want to get up, as usual. I was not really like to sleep, just in bed, I felt safe.
“Is morning came so quickly?” voice of fairy came echoing in my head.
She has not slept, but it happens rarely.
“Once at least five minutes,” I started to grumble, throwing off his foot with a blanket.
The morning was not the most pleasant. Now I regretted that I did not lay down last time. But, I think these unfortunate little help. I need to get up and go for a jogging. I do not know why I took it a rule to run in the mornings. Just after jogging, I feel more cheerful and … and alive. I slowly slid off the bed and sat down on the floor. Laptop was on the nightstand next to me. My hands were pulled out of habit to it. I did not realize that this action my body makes itself. Of course, I know that the brain sends impulses to the body and then it starts to act. But I did not think to check the mail. In any case, regardless of my desire, I went to my mailbox. Messages were not there. To be honest, I was a little upset. Of course, my frustration was not very big, but it was. Postponing the computer aside, I was dragged into the bath. Now I just need water. I need cool water.
I spent a very long time in the bathroom. Now, I was even thinking of it all the time I spent there, I was asleep. Frankly, the memories left in my head that I did there. This case was particularly heavy, so I needed to run. Laziness very carefully began to penetrate in me. I ignored it and just kept put shoes on.
The weather was very sunny, but I would not say that it was hot. I ran out into the road, which yesterday Russell drove me home. In my head immediately burst into a whirlwind of memories. Now, heaviness in the legs did not care me. I just ran. I just ran and thought. I thought about him. I was afraid of myself to admit it to the end of run. I was afraid that if I confess to myself, that if it would be true. It should not be in my thoughts. I should not think of it right after waking up. I should not.
“I missed something,” fairy spoke to me in a sleepy voice.
I poured myself a cup of tea. Suddenly, her voice rang in my head. I think I even flinched in surprise. Her words were some strange. How could she have missed something that connected with me, and if she is I?
“Good,” I did not know what else to say.
Lunch time was already. The house was quiet and in the street too. I sat on the bed and re-read the last lines of his book “Les Miserables heaven.”
“Love swing our bodies that it burned. Since it was the death of paradise. And I’m ready for it to burn for eternity.”
I do not know why these lines touched me. But I felt in them something very important. I felt a part of myself in it.
“Maybe we should start collecting,” her voice was indifferent.
“Still early. I want to write something.”
I quickly jumped out of bed and walked over to the desk. My new notebook lay on the edge. I quickly opened the very last page and pulled out a piece of leaf. I wanted to write on it the very same lines from the book.
“For what it is,” fairy continued to talk to me indifferent.
“Come on collecting!” I wanted to avoid answering.
The time was nearly four o’clock in the afternoon. Evening was approaching and the excitement in my body increased. All the muscles in my body tensed and I could not control it.
“Relax. Everything will be fine!” now her voice was more lively and sincere.
I felt some relief from the words of fairy. I would like to believe that she would not leave me like yesterday. Previously, I was irritated by her talk, when I was in the community. But now I really needed them. I needed her support or mere presence.
I had only hour before Russell would arrive. I was almost ready for his arrival, but, frankly, a little scared. I was really scared to be back with him. I was scared, but at the same time and unbearably nice.
“You’re just not in touch,” I asked the fairy.
She only laughed in response. I do not know how I need to respond to such a response from her. Perhaps this means that it will not be lost. Or maybe it means that she will not be there. I do not know.
Russell’s car drove up to the house. I had to go out to him, my legs were heavy because fear. I inhaled and exhaled air over and over again, until in my mind there was not at least a little peace of mind.
I walked to his car, trying to look natural. My head was ringing because of palpitations. When I came down from the porch, I saw that Russell already stood beside the car. I understood that there was nowhere to run.
I walked with my head held high and shyly clutching lips into a tube. This habit of playing with lips in every uncomfortable situation, it annoyed me. But at this moment, I thought least about it. I just wanted to quickly get in the car. I do not wear it every day for a gorgeous dress to the floor and high-heeled shoes. I do not do every day a hair princess, and certainly not every day do so expressive makeup.
“Good evening, Angelina! You look amazing,” Russell told me his velvety voice.
I smiled back at him. I did not want to talk because I was afraid that, opening mouth, I can not say a word. Russell did not respond to my silence. He just opened the door for me, and I sat in the car. His face still had no emotions. On his face there were no obvious emotions.
All the way we drove, practically not talking. I did not talk to him because of stress. The car sped very fast, and I want to say that I was very strained. Russell did not talk to me, probably, because he closely followed the road. This is my opinion. As it was in fact, I do not know.
We drove up to a huge glass building. I knew about the existence of this magnificent picture in our city, but I never thought I would go here. It is not in the center of our town, and a bit of its chapels. But it is not to the side, where the cliff, and in the opposite. I was delighted to see this building.
“I see you like it here,” he came up to me and said.
I was unable to speak with him, so in response, I simply nodded.
“You’re going to not talk all night with me?” his voice velvet spread over my consciousness.
I look at him with regret.
He was right, was not the first time, instead of words I speak to them with gestures.
“No. It’s very beautiful”.
“I knew you would like it”.
After the words, Russell took me by the hand. I could feel his warmth began to fill me. For a while, I even stopped breath. I enjoyed his touch. I felt close to a strong and powerful man. It scared and at the same time inspired me.
“We waiting,” with these words, we went to the entrance of the building.
People were very much. When we entered the huge room in which everything was covered with pictures, I fully felt the presence of such a large number of guests. Russell proudly walked beside me. I tried to keep up. His strong hand gently squeezed my fingertips. I was very relaxed this. As we walked, Russell repeatedly casts a welcome sight guests. I had the feeling that everyone knows his.
“And that’s the main person,” Russell leaned to my ear.
He pointed glance at the young man’s low. He was wearing a hat with huge fields and black formal suit. Beside him a tall girl stood. She was very beautiful. I immediately thought that her profession is model. She was much higher than the man in the hat. From the outside it looked not very good. But I do not think I should judge them.
Man with hat smiled in our direction and walked toward us. His companion followed him. After passing all the guests, they finally were right in front of us.
“Glad to see you! Introduced me to this beautiful lady,” this man smiling widely.
His eyes immediately ran through my body. From this I felt somehow uncomfortable. Hand Russell tensed and I instinctively responded in kind.
“It’s Angelina!” Russell’s voice was rough.
“Very nice to meet you! My name is Anders Goyda. I am the author all of these pictures,” he took my hand and leaned against his lips.
I barely restrained desire to hit him. In my life I never got into this situation. I do not like it. Especially since, I do not like it, because he allowed himself to kiss the woman’s hand in front of his girlfriend.
“Me too…” I said through clenched lips.
This dress was oppressed me. Legs ached terribly due to uncomfortable shoes. All this glamor bothered me already. Reassures me is that Russell has never left me. He almost always kept my hand in his. Next to him, I was calm. Only fairy voice lacked full of happiness.
We saw a lot of pictures. Some I liked, but most are not impressed me. They were boring and too right. It did not impress me. But almost to the end of the evening, I noticed a small canvas, which hung in a corner near the exit. On this canvas was show broken glass shards that fall into the jar with black paint. I was impressed with how the whole process was depicted. I looked at this picture and in my mind as if she came to life. I would look at it very long, but suddenly broke into my thoughts Russell. Now only about him, I could think of. He was not around and I started to disturb it. I searched his eyes everywhere. But his was not there.
“Maybe join us?!” Anders Goyda voice rang out behind me.
When I turned around, I saw him standing in the company of some people. He invited me to join. I politely shook my head, thereby expressing rejection. Now, I really wanted to find Russell. I spun around to continue the search, and my face met with the face of Russell. He looked at me a little from the top down. In the heart of the storm began. I could not breathe for a long time. Hopefully, because of this I did not look too pale.
“Please take me home…” I said in a whisper.
Hand Russell again grabbed me by the fingertips.
“Ok,” he said quietly.
We came out of this stuffy room. The street was already quite dark and cool. My body immediately crawled. Russell took off his jacket and put it on my shoulders. He already did that day when we were in the rain.
“Thank you,” I replied.
But my voice interrupted cries coming from the corner. I anxiously looked at Russell. His hand squeezed my fingers, and then abruptly released.
“Stay here,” his voice was rough.
He abruptly dropped my hand and rapid movements of the feet came down the stairs. Then he disappeared into the dark silhouette of the corner. It was from there came a woman’s scream. I ran after him without hesitation. I could not bear to stand there and wait for something unknown. When steps were behind, I saw the corner of two silhouettes of men and women. One of the male silhouette belonged to Russell. This I know for sure. But everything that happens could not see because of the darkness, so I resolutely walked closer. The woman was crying loudly, holding one hand in his eyes. I knew immediately that this man, who screamed loudly, beat her up.
“Are you okay?” I asked the woman.
Russell’s eyes nervously rushed to my side. At this moment, standing in front of him the man slapped Russell in the face. Everything inside me flinched. I was ready to rush to him, but the woman grabbed my arm. The woman continued to cry, but do not let me go. I saw how they fought, but could do nothing. Because of this damn darkness I could not distinguish who is who. And this incomprehensibility very scared me.
“Come in the car!” I heard a voice above the noise of Russell in my head.
My mind was shocked by what is happening, so I did not even notice when the fight was over. I just stood and stared into the distance. This stupor last as long as the hand of Russell again squeezed my finger of tips.
“Thank you intervened,” woman tale through tears, “he would have killed me,” she pointed at the body lying in the dark.
The man muttered something incomprehensible. He was drunk and therefore beat this woman!? It is unthinkable. A wave of indignation raged in me, but I was trying to hold her. I also felt anger Russell. Is he mad at me because of what I disobeyed him? Although he’s right, it’s just my fault he got hit in the face. Timidly looking at him, I saw a trickle of blood on his lip glass.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking into his eyes.
But he said nothing. It made me feel lousy.
“Where you live?” Russell asked the woman.
“It’s not far. We must go forward on this main road, and then turn on the first turn. My house is the third,” she said and sat on the back seat of the car.
I tried to quietly open door of the car, but Russell would not let me do it myself. Car door separates us, but I still felt that he was too close to me. His stern gaze was directed straight at me, and because of this, I felt uncomfortable. Talking with him was unreasonable, so I quietly sat in the car.
Not an easy road awaited us. It was hard to sit next to a woman whimpered and angry man. I felt ill at ease.
“You are a very beautiful couple,” the woman said very unexpectedly.
My body tensed at her words.
“No, no. We just … We’re not a couple,” I could hardly find the right words.
I do not understand why I was so embarrassed of her words. I looked at Russell, but he was calm. He continued to look at the road, and then his face appeared a faint smile. My eyebrows jumped up in surprise. I abruptly turned and dived more deeply into his jacket, which was on me. Now, he served as blankets, no clothes. I watched the darkness in the window. The car was traveling very fast and my eyes from fatigue began to slowly close. In my head, finally, came the rest. I do not remember I fell asleep, because it seemed to me that I keep everything under control. But I woke up because of the noise. Raindrops crashed into window of the car, and I heard, as they died. Outside the window was already quite dark. I anxiously looked at the digital clock, which had been in the car. It was already past midnight. I anxiously looked at the back seat. Women were not there.
“I had to ride you until you wake up,” Russell spoke to me.
“It’s very noble of you,” I was shocked by the situation.
In my mind there was only one thought, “Mom will kill me!”
“I sent your mom sms with your phone, not to worry.”
“Are you a maniac?” I asked very seriously.
Russell looked at me. One corner of his mouth curled into a smile.
“If I was a maniac, I would not have chosen you as a victim. You’re crazy. I would have immediately caught, and you would be my last victim.”
“I’m crazy. Stop the car!”
“What will you do? Go home on foot?”
“Stop the car!”
I was indignant. He thought I was crazy, like everyone who knew me, but then who was he? I spent with this person a lot of time and still not see it signs of a living person. He did not smile and even his movements was not like human.
I quickly jumped out of the car. I did not care that she was not completely stopped. I would rather get out of one space with him. I could no longer be with him. I tired to solve this riddle. I’m just tired. Around was dark and did not care where to go.
“Stop!” his voice was heard behind.
I was calm, because it was unlikely that people would follow me. In general, I was not sure whether he was able to run or just move a little faster usual pace. My hair ruffled breeze. Heels interfered to go faster, and I just pulled them off and threw on the run to the curb. I took out all the pins from their roads and threw them. Now, I was like a little decent lady. But I really stopped caring it. Perhaps, I would have pulled off his dress, but go naked I was not ready yet.
Steps behind me became more and now I hear them very well. I gently turned back and saw Russell with rapid steps approached me. Then he moved to step smoothly running. Inside of me there was a panic, and I also ran. Cold rain drops hit my face. My dress everything got wet, and hem length became heavy. My feet tangled in it. But I could not stop running.
“Stop!” Russell looked straight at me, his hand gripping my shoulder.
I looked at him and tried to breathe in more air. For me it was a surprise of his behavior.
“I can not let you go,” his voice again was rude.
His hand never ceased to hold me.
“It hurts me,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and his hand moved down so that my fingertips were back in his arms.
His eyes looked at me, and I felt like a million butterflies in my stomach made flight. I have never experienced anything like this. My body began to tremble whether from cold or emotion. I lowered my head down and saw his hands in his shoes.
“Maybe, is it my shoes?” I wanted to defuse the situation.
“You’re right,” his voice was so quiet that I had to make a lot of effort to understand it.
I gingerly reached out with his free hand over my shoes. My hand gently touched his hand. Inside me the hurricane hit. All mixed up and now I did not understand what feelings dominate me. I could not understand, was I mad or glad? Now I could not understand anything. I wanted to run away, but at the same time remain. I slowly picked up the shoes and wanted to escape from his piercing gaze. But he would not let me.
“Do you take me home?” I asked him in a low voice.
But he said nothing and just kept looking at me. His look was very unusual, uncharacteristic.
“Yes,” he said very suddenly and grabbed my waist slung over his shoulder.
I hung on his strong shoulders and could not do anything. He was very strong for me. And you know, for the short time that I spent with him, I realized that this man loves power and used to control the situation completely. I tried to escape, but all my attempts failed. Then I just started laughing. Maybe my laughter was somewhat hysterical, but he already knew that I was crazy. I can no longer build from a lady. But he did not react to it, and just kept going. I was beginning to rock and blood began pounding in my head. I thought some more and lose consciousness, but suddenly I found myself on the ground. My body immediately embraced weakness, and I was in his arms. I was so close to him that I could hear his heart beating. He looked at me, and his hands gently around my waist.
“I was a little seasick on you,” I decided to make a joke.
Deftly slipped out of his arms, I sat in the car. With grinning, Russell closed the door behind me and sat behind the wheel. I wanted to see him again, but I could not dare to do it. Therefore, to avoid temptation, all the way I looked out the window.
“Thank you for the evening,” Russell looked at me.
My body was still tense. I tried to look calm, but when I looked into his eyes, my peace became unmanageable. My mind was drowning in his brown eyes. I wanted to scream, but the emotion in my throat lump formed.
The car stopped near my house. I slowly opened the door and went out. My heart was pounding and I was ready to just run away.
“Good night, Angelina!” his face was directly in front of me.
I could not understand how he managed to run round car so fast. But, apparently, I have a lot of it I do not know. He’s a mystery, and I will never be able to solve it.
“Good night, Russell!” I looked into his eyes.
Just now I looked at him no like friend or a good man. I looked at him as a handsome man. My body shuddered from such thoughts. I think that walking is enough for today. Now, for me it was better to go home and not to do or say anything stupid. I slowly closed door of the car and looked at the Russell farewell. He continued to stand. His face was hard to see in the dark, but I could exactly say that now it was blank. I only saw the glint in his eyes. They have been my beacon. I looked at them and slowly moved away from him.
“Where have you been?” the fairy regained my consciousness back to normal.
“I did not hear you,” I tried to speak softly, so as not to wake my mother.
The door creaked shut behind me. I made my way through the dark hallway to my room. Day, or rather, the evening was very heavy. After meeting with Russell difficult days became more in my life. I do not know whether I am glad it or not. In recent times it has become much more confusion in my life. I got confused and I want to take a timeout. But such services do not have the time. It is continuous.
In the room, I felt myself a little better. Voltage gradually started to leave. I took a quick shower and changed into pajamas. Now, I had to write something about Russell, but in my mind was in turmoil. I could not link the words in sentences. Perhaps, this was due to fatigue. Putting aside my notebook aside, I decided to check the mail.
“I think we forgot to decide what we will have plans for tomorrow!”
I was very surprised by this report. But honestly, it just made me smile. Mystery guy invited me to yet another insane ride. I liked this idea. But, since he gave me the opportunity itself to choose where we go, I decided to choose something unusual and even dangerous.
“If you trust my choice, then we can go to the edge of the edge of the earth.”
I did not know how he would react to such a proposal. But I soon had the opportunity to learn it.
“I’ll pick you up at ten in the morning. Be prepared to spend with me one more day.”
He wrote this letter very quickly. I have not time to check on it the mail. His message was as arrogant as he is. However, I must to stop to be surprised. He is unusual and it says everything. I decided not to answer him on this sms. Although, I do not know, what I could write in response. Everything is clear what else the word.
The morning was to come soon, but I still did not gone to bed. I need to sleep well that tomorrow again to go with him for a walk. But the voice of the fairy did not cease to sound in my head. I heard her cries, and I felt at ease. She was not happy my meetings with Russell because she could not speak to me at this time. I understood her, but her protests got me thinking. I think that now I wanted to spend time with him. Before, I only wanted to write about him, but now I wanted to see him. To me was hard to admit it, but it was so.
Alarm clock rang at nine in the morning. Mom was already at work and absolute silence was in the house. I have not slept. Alarm clock persevered to call, but I did not care. I wanted to sleep and it was the only thing that concerns me at the moment. But suddenly burst into my head the idea that helped me to forget about sleep. I remembered that Russell promised to pick me up in an hour. I had only an hour to wake up and get ready. Maybe it’s a lot, but when you slept only about three hours, this time was not enough.
“Can you cancel the meeting?” the fairy inside me said cheerfully, but her idea did not like me.
“No,” I said very clearly.
Now, I did not care about her opinion. I do not know why, but she stopped to be so necessary for me. Now I needed him. I ran around the house, trying to tidy myself up before his arrival. Time was running out. I just had to get dressed and I want to say it was for me unsolvable problems. I did not know what clothes would fit our walk. In the corner of the closet was hung white short dress. It was lacy, but it was all in moderation. It was not flashy. It was quite the contrary. It was a modest but refined. I think, it was exactly what I needed. I gently put it over and looked at the time. I still had about five minutes. I noticed in the Russell punctuality, so wait for his before it was foolishly. During this time, I’d have to check the mail. If I did not, I would be thinking about it all day. Although close to Russell, I can only think of Russell.
I checked the mail. New emails were not. I’m a little disappointed, because I hoped that Russell wrote me something. Although in this would not sense. We will see each other just a couple of minutes.
I heard the sound of approaching cars. It was Russell.
“See you soon” the fairy said it a bit sad.
“Do not be sad” I tried not to show indifference.
I should have somehow upset because of what we would have to leave with each other for the whole day, but I could not. For the first time in a long time I was able to separate from her. Perhaps earlier I very scared it, but now I was ready for it. I met Russell, and I think it was one of the best meetings in my life.
The door slammed behind me. I looked at him. All the same imperious and serious, he stood by the car and waited me. For the first time in a long time I was waiting for someone. And for the first time in a long time I felt belonging to the world.
“Good morning, Angelina!” he said, and opened the car door for me.
“Good morning, Russell!” I replied.
Our eyes met, and I felt the pleasure of opportunities to look at him. I thought that time stood still around. All ceased to matter. I just looked at him, and I did not need anything more.
Thank you for reading this book. If you want to continue this book, please email me. I will be very glad to provide you with the remaining fragments of the book, and also to hear your opinion about this work.
With Love by Angelina Krafft!
This book tells about the inner world of a teenager. Each holds within himself a lot of madness and all that we do with it, just try to ignore it. The book is filled with the most poignant experiences and crazy things that man can commit. Book contains in itself all the madness of reality and the tragedy of reality.
- ISBN: 9781310130434
- Author: Angelina Krafft
- Published: 2016-01-09 15:05:07
- Words: 19616