Wisdom and Wit
A Picture Book of Quotable Quotes
Published by Arthur Brooks at Shakespir
Copyright 2016 Arthur Brooks
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Watch for the next picture book of quotes:
This extensive series of quotes was started in 1986 when our oldest ‘youngster’ started off to college. Remembering my own experiences, I was concerned with her maintaining the focus required by the challenges and distractions that would face her, establishing the importance of not only setting priorities, but staying with those priorities. The original thought was to create something she could post on her bulletin board in her dorm room as an aid and reminder to deal with those daily situations frequently encountered, to handle the frustrations that confront a college student. For that reason, each quote/thought is designed for a single page.
The original draft of this document contained only a dozen or perhaps a few more quotes. The graphics were inserted to add a touch of humor in some instances and to further bring home the meaning of the quote in other instances. It is an implementation of “a picture is worth a thousand words.”
From that beginning of a dozen or so quotes, the collection of quotes has grown over the years, with new pages added as the thoughts came to mind. If a thought rolled through my mind in a meeting, while sitting at my desk, or at home, I wrote down the thought that could potentially be added to the assembled quotes. Of the quotes in the composite document only two, or three are not original, quotes casually observed many years ago and whose source at the time was not specified.
With time those few pages grew and grew to exceed 350 pages. It was at that point the collection was divided into separate books. Therefore, that composite document has been divided into eight smaller topical entities. This, “Wisdom and Wit,” is but one of those individual booklets and the first to be published.
As with all things in life, everything in moderation and this booklet is no exception. It was written in the hopes small amounts at a time can satisfy a need; to smile, to laugh, perhaps encounter a touch of ‘wisdom’ and ponder what was going on in the mind of the author. As a picture book there is more to the pages than words as there is more to life than words. It must be read with your eyes, your mind and your imagination. Being a picture book, it is not necessarily intended to be viewed in consecutive pages.
A 1995-98 version of the graphics software, “Art Explosion,” by Nova Development, was the source for the graphics, a set of disks that contains 600,000 graphic images. The license agreement provides the software owner the right to publish the graphics, providing the graphic images are not marketed, or sold as individual images.
The author’s statements in this collection of quotes express the thoughts and perspectives of the author, not intended to promote a particular perspective, nor offend any individual viewing the statements.
“Mum, mum, mum … Older than DIRT! Harumpf! DARN kids!”
Every day some humor needs to come into our lives to relieve some portion of the daily stress. Utilizing the adage ‘a picture is worth a thousand words,’ each quote is accompanied by one or more graphical images to add depth and emotion to the quotes. The intention of the following is to hopefully bring a little chuckle to the reader. Perhaps you might find a touch of familiarity in your own life in some of these quotes. Partially at the heart of these pages is finding humor in our own lives and perhaps even laughing at ourselves.
GOLLY! I had an IDEA!
And it ACTUALLY worked!
“How many times do I HAVE to tell you …”
“Gee, I didn’t know being able to count was required at MY age.”
And I am the EXPERT?
The salesman told me it was ‘intuitive.’
I call it ‘the ULTIMATE search for a far away galaxy!’
Intuitive? ‘The Cloud?’ WHAT?!
Just give me an instructions manual!
It’s a MIRACLE! It’s a MIRACLE!
I ACTUALLY was able to turn it on!
Please! Please computer.
I want to go home!
Some time tonight?
“Here, Kitty! Want something to play with?”
Do you want to tell me where you hid my file?
Or do I need to display my other personality?
Give me a wrench and I can fix ANYTHING!
The answer to those mysterious abnormalities that you see your computer do.
(The ‘little people’ inside the computer)
“Man, after the tricks we played on them today, you would have thought they would have gone home LONG before this”
My papers were RED enough as they were!
I TOLD you the wires were crossed!
Now throw the breaker! HURRY!
Cats DO NOT have a sense of humor.
“All I said was ‘BOO’.”
Quicksand! Keep out! No swimming!
Danger! Poison Ivy!
It is often said; “there is a time and place for everything.”
THIS is not one of them!
“How many times do I have to TELL you?!”
Mother always told me I couldn’t walk and talk at the same time.
Word for Telemarketers!
“This is a very important message …”
“FORGET IT! And don’t you EVER call this number again! Do you hear?”
I SURE wish it wasn’t a recording.
‘The morning after the night before anthem.’
“I’ll NEVER, NEVER do this again!”
“I need a NEW body! Who dressed me? Don’t answer. Even a whisper hurts my head.”
MANY lessons to be learned before fighting a dragon.
Starting with WHERE to find them.
Smaller man with smaller weapon …
… must talk fast and RUN faster!
Kiss a frog?
Take your chances.
“and I make you a GREAT knight”
“Uhh … I think you need more LESSONS!”
“And I send you into the future as a RICH man.”
“I need to find me a DIFFERENT wizard!”
A knight at LAST!
NOW what do I do?
Used armor for sale
Only used for ‘Armor Day Parade’
“Take it. Trust me. Good price. Previous owner a klutz. And forgot his glasses.”
“WHAT? That’s more than I paid for my armor!”
“Hey. Not MY problem. Pretty cheap looking armor.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone for the USED armor!”
“Last time I listen to that stupid wizard!”
Will be even BETTER than today.
“Happy Trails to you”
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About the Author
Arthur Brooks is a father of four with twelve grandchildren. The author spent thirty-nine years and seven months as a university administrator before retiring in 2006. He was first introduced to computing in 1967, spending nearly all of his university employment in computing, the last twenty-seven years as the director of campus administrative Information Technology. Nearing the end of his tenure as a university staff member he was a part time adjunct instructor in the College of Business, teaching a graduate course in a specialty area of Information Technology. Since his retirement he has spent a portion of his time traveling and a portion writing. His extensive collection of quotes are largely derived from personal experiences as both a parent and an administrator.
Every day some humor needs to come into our lives to relieve some of the daily stress. Utilizing the adage 'a picture is worth a thousand words,' each quote is accompanied by one or more graphical images to add depth and emotion to the quotes. The intention of this book is to hopefully bring a little chuckle to the reader. Perhaps you might find a touch of familiarity in your own life in some of these quotes. Partially at the heart of these pages is finding humor in our own lives and perhaps even laughing at ourselves.