Why Can't I Find A Good Mate?


Why Can’t I find A Good Mate?


© 2017 Nathaniel “BigNate” Murrell

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

For permissions contact: [email protected]

ISBN: 9781370861118

Title: Why Can’t I find A Good Mate?

Author: Nathaniel “Big Nate” Murrell

Publisher: Shakespir, Inc.


Dating is a very interesting subject now days. There are a lot of ways to meet people now days. With so many single individuals that have access to various outlets to meet people, it has become harder to someone that is for you. This is not to say that dating is horrible. Nor is it to say that you cannot get the person that you desire.

What do I want you to get from this book: Getting the person that you want is obtainable? You will get who you want if you believe they’re out there. I will teach you some principles that will help you sort through the mucky world of dating.

The purpose of this book is for you to avoid making repeated mistakes in relationships. Most people want a healthy thriving loving relationship. Look forward and stop looking backward.

Philippians 3:13-14

13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 

14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Chapter 1

The Principles

It is so easy now to create the ultimate mate in our mind. With so much information in the world, it is easier for us to find someone that perceives they could be THE ONE for us. There are dating websites that will allow you to search for someone to an exact match down to eye color. Although we can describe the physical attributes of what we are seeking, very rarely will the true character of the person initially come out. Let’s be honest, dating has now become a science. Here are a few principles that will help to guide you in your approach to finding the person that is best for you.


Exodus 20:3-6

3 “You shall have no other gods before me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments..

God makes it crystal clear that he is a jealous God and that you should not put any image above him. Many people are seeking this mythical good man/woman. What’s even more interesting is how the church has somehow become a somewhat of a pickup playground for some saints. It is not unusual for a single person to go to the church with the intentions of finding a mate. However, the devil lurks in the same places that you are looking. The evil one can also bless you… But when he blesses you he is trying to bind you to his will and his way.

The first reason a person may not have found the mate that they are seeking is that they have not put God first in their life. God hears your prayers. God did not intend for us to be alone. However, God is not going to bless a mess. When you ask God for that mate, he hears you. He knows you are lonely. This is a perfect time to turn on your spiritual ears so you can hear what God is telling you. Most people want a mate because of lust.

Principle #2 LOVE YOURSELF!!!

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

p<>. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

p<>. My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

p<>. Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How can you love someone else if you can’t love yourself? -LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST!!! How can you love someone else if you can’t love yourself? – Insecurity is the killer of self-love. While the person is self-doubting their self or image, they do not realize they are confusing imagination with reality.

Arrogance is the killer of self-knowledge. It will make you think your current state should not be changed.


Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.-

Stop giving your time, energy, and spirit to those that do not deserve it. A very common issue that occurs in dating is an individual that will waste your time. They have no intentions of being with the person. They will string the person along until they have used them up. Unfortunately, the other party either does not have the courage to walk away or they hope the other person will change. Sadly to say both parties are to blame. The first party just for playing silly games. The second party for allowing the first individual to waste their time. Honestly, someone is saying right now it’s hard to know if they are not interested. I will say this to them,

LISTEN TO YOUR INNER SPRIRT AND IT WILL TELL YOU THE REAL ANSWER. But most of the time people will not pay attention to what the Spirit is saying because it is not giving you the message that you want to hear.


Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

p<>. Bruce Lee

This is a powerful quote from Bruce Lee. An individual’s mind can be very rigid. The purpose of the principle of your mind must be like water is to learn how to be flexible and open to change. My mother always told me that if something is not working for you in your life, you need to make a change. I do not expect you to agree with everything that I am presenting but I would like you to keep an open mind. A mind is like a parachute. It only works if it is open. As you get deeper in the book you will understand why this is an important principle.


Matthew 7:7-8

7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Simply put whatever you think it will come. Whatever your spirit puts in the atmosphere is what will come back to you. In essence, you must believe with your entire being that you will get what you are asking for. There must be a sense of gratitude and humility when you are dating. If not your vibe may come off as being arrogant. Now in no shape or form does that mean that you should be a pushover either? Write down what it is you desire. Then meditate on it but do not obsess over it. Show gratitude and humility, the results will follow.


As a free agent you must your worth but don’t out price yourself out the market. In free agency, you can negotiate with any team you like. A good free agent will match up to his talents with an organization vision to win. Then there are free agents that do not really care about winning. They just want a payday. So, let’s break this analogy down to the singles’ worlds. There are individuals with standards that are very high. These demands may not ever be obtained by someone that they meet. They usually say that they are very picky when they are choosing with whom to spend their time with. These individuals have expectations that may not be met.

Then you have those that are serial daters. The only relationship goal they have is to get to the next date. These types of single individuals have no relationship expectations. They are like the free agent that does not really care about winning a championship but just to get paid. This does not mean that they are bad people or that they will waste someone’s time. It means that they date with no expectations.


Visit: http://www.Shakespir.com/books/view/743982 to purchase this book to continue reading. Show the author you appreciate their work!

Why Can't I Find A Good Mate?

Dating can be time consuming, intimidating, or somewhat nerve racking. Come listen to this fantastic event and walk away with new way to approach dating and relationships. In this book we will discuss: What vibe are you putting out in the atmosphere? Law of Attraction Qualifying a potential mate. Dating 101 Avoiding dating and relationship pit falls. Confront deep rooted issues that may prevent you from the relationship. Gain freedom in relationships and vulnerability. Learn to do relationships well, whether in friendship, dating or preparing for marriage Learn how to love yourself so you may allow others to love you

  • ISBN: 9781370861118
  • Author: Nathaniel "Big Nate" Murrell
  • Published: 2017-08-23 02:32:15
  • Words: 7838
Why Can't I Find A Good Mate? Why Can't I Find A Good Mate?