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Trump's Gold Bible

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRUMP’S GOLD BIBLE

(Genesis Book I and II)

 

 

 

A Satire

Kae Bell

Genesis 1

In the beginning, there was nothing but chaos and darkness.

And from this nothingness, Trump created himself.

And he saw that he was great.

Also from the darkness Trump created a vast Firmament and he called this America, land of the free and home of the brave.

And Trump saw that this was Great.

But Trump so that there was darkness across this undulating land of good and plenty. So Trump created light, that he might better see the rolling hills and plains to spot smart undervalued real estate development opportunities.

And so there was light.

And Trump saw that this was great, especially because he could see himself. Which was super great.

Looking in the mirror, Trump saw that he must seem worthy to be a leader and a ruler in these lands. So Trump gave himself hair of finest gold.

And Trump saw that it was great.

And everlasting.

Trump looked over the great firmament of America and saw that it was his to choose. And from all the many lands, he chose the land of Manhattan as his forever home, since it was undervalued and way cooler than Queens.

The great land of Manhattan was bordered to the West, South and East by rivers and seas. To the West was the great Hudson river, filled with fish. To the East, another great river, aptly named the Euphrates, I mean the East River. At the southern tip of Manhattan, lay a vast ocean that used to welcome strangers to the shores of the Firmament.

This land also known as the Big Apple was home to many people.

And they all thought it was great (which it is).

From the earth of the Bog Apple, Trump brought forth great buildings, some that bore his name. Except for the Jacob Javitts Convention Center, which kind of pissed him off, but whatever.

 

And Trump created the Art of the Deal and the rules by which he would play. He saw it was the only game and that it was great. And many would want to know of the Deal and how it could be created. So Trump’s name grew in importance, as was his intention.

And this was great.

Then Trump acquired many more mighty fortresses and valuable lands, including a vast Tower made of gold, with rose- colored stone and cool flowing waters. On this great Tower Trump placed his name. And Trump Towers was completed it its vast array and so there was beauty, high rents, expensive retail, and celebrity tenants.

Trump saw that this was great.

Amidst all his creating, Trump thought that he should not be alone. So he fashioned a companion for himself who, like his golden hair, was everlasting – She rejuvenated every fifteen years or so. This companion bore Trump children.

Trump saw that they were great, as he was.

And for some time he rested.

*******

Genesis 2

Despite all that he had created and all that he had built, Trump was troubled.

From his golden Tower, Trump looked down and saw that there were many people. Some of the people belonged near his cool gold Tower and some most definitely did not.

Trump saw that down below, on the city sidewalk, there were many shabby men working to be fruitful, laboring in the cold to make a living selling souvenirs of the city of the Big Apple.

Trump called down to the shabby men: “Why are you losers outside my gold building?”

They called back to him and said, “Because we have tasted reality and it is called War. And War is hell. But you would not know that.”

But Trump could not hear them, because he was blow-drying his golden hair before the evening’s black tie event.

And when he was finished with that, he rested.

The next day, he called the leaders of the Big Apple and tried to have the shabby men removed from outside his golden tower. But it would not be done.

And Trump’s eyes were opened and he saw that the people of the firmament were not all the same.

He knew then that there were Winners and there were Losers.

He knew that he was a winner.

And that this was great.

But the losers, they needed to go. Because…losers.

Trump knew that the losers weren’t tough, they weren’t smart, and some of them weren’t even American. SMH.

Most of all they were different from him. Because they were so not winners.

Trump thought on this for a day and a night.

And another day.

So Trump created Reality Television, that he might better separate the winners from the losers. And so it came to pass. The Winners were fruitful and their earnings multiplied. The Losers were Fired.

And for many years, Trump saw that his ratings were great.

But this too was not enough. Trump knew he needed to be more vigilant. In fact, that we all did.

On the next day, or maybe it was several years later, Trump created ‘The Words’. The Words helped Trump describe all the losers that he saw around him. It seemed like everywhere he went these days, he met a bunch of losers who didn’t know what they were doing. Sometimes people that had once been winners in Trump’s eye became losers. They were so stupid.

The Words, ‘stupid’, ‘weak’, ‘dumb’ and ‘horrible’ spread across the great firmament and helped the winners know who they were. They too though there were too many stupid losers.

And Trump saw that this was great.

On the next day, Trump created a database of all the people.

In the database, he categorized all the people, the men and women and children, into Winners and Losers.

And he saw that this was great.

And so too did the Winners.

The Losers, not so much. But they didn’t know. Yet.

To divide the firmament, to make it great again, Trump built a wall. A massively huge bad-ass American wall. Better than any other wall ever built.

The wall was made of the finest materials paid for by American tax-payers and extended thousands of miles in every direction, that is, to the North, the South, the East and West. It was constructed by immigrant laborers who never complained and worked their asses off.

Trump saw that his wall was great. He named the wall ‘Trump’s Wall of Winners’.

He checked his database carefully, to be sure he had all the people’s names. Then he called forth all the people and he separated the Winners from the Losers. Some people who had thought they were winners were losers. Life is like that.

He placed the Winners on one side of the wall and the Losers on the other.

Trump saw that this was great. He tweeted out to his followers: “We did it. We’re safe. We don’t need to be afraid any more.”

Then he rested in his Tower of gold.

*****

Copyright 2016 KAE BELL

All Right Reserved

This is work of fiction. Any resemblance to people, living or dead, or events, real or fictitious, is merely a coincidence and not intended by the author.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Trump's Gold Bible

  • Author: Kae Bell
  • Published: 2016-01-29 01:50:06
  • Words: 1206
Trump's Gold Bible Trump's Gold Bible