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Tough Love: Episode 5

 

 

Tough Love

Episode: 5

Shakespir Edition

Copyright 2015, Alexander Dingeman, All rights reserved

INT. – MUSEUMNIGHT

(Scene opens with a pan across an exhibit in the Lágnos Museum as two security guards are talking.)

SECURITY GUARD 1

Did you hear about that janitor getting fired?

SECURITY GUARD 2

No but it doesn’t surprise me. You can’t cause a security breach like that and not be held accountable.

(Cut to a medium shot of the two security guards standing in the room.)

SECURITY GUARD 1

Still, it seems a little harsh if you ask me. On the plus side I get a lot more hours thanks to the extra security. Not to mention these Taser sticks.

(Security guard 1 pulls out his stun baton as he mentions it. The second guard simply rolls his eyes.)

SECURITY GUARD 2

(Exasperated) Stun baton.

(Cut to a one shot of security guard 1 as he continues to play with the stun baton.)

SECURITY GUARD 1

Whatever they’re called they’re fucking sweet!

(The silhouette of Jade silently drops down from the ceiling and lands behind security guard 1. She grabs the guards hand with the stun baton in it and causes him to shock himself. Cut to a medium shot of Jade and security guard 2 as security guard 1 collapses. Security guard 2 pulls out his stun baton and swings it at her with his right arm. Jade redirects the swing using her left arm then quickly moves in to smack the guard in the face with her right elbow. The guard staggers while Jade twists his right arm behind his back. She then kicks him in the back of the knee which forces him to kneel on the ground. Finally she holds the twisted arm out and stomps on it causing it to break with a loud snap. The guard drops his stun baton and falls to the ground screaming and clutching his arm. Cut to a one shot of Jade where she can be seen clearly for the first time. She stomps off-screen and the sound of security guard 2 moaning and losing consciousness is heard.)

JADE

Honestly, it’s like you all want to be stolen from.

(Cut to a full shot of the room as Jade walks over to the exhibit that used to hold the stone map. She stops in front of the display case so the camera views her from the far side of the room.)

JADE

Shit!

INT. – OBLEX’S STUDY/DESCIPLE’S LAIRMORNING

(Cut to an establishing shot of Professor Oblex’s study which fades into a full shot of Oblex’s living room. The lights are off except for the light coming from the kitchen and Wilt is sleeping on the couch. A loud crashing sound comes from the kitchen followed by the sound of Duke and Lana arguing.)

LANA

Did you seriously just break another dish

DUKE

Hey that one wasn’t my fault! This little black spot wouldn’t come off so I just scrubbed it a little harder.

LANA

Why did I even bother giving you chores?

DUKE

I don’t know what you’re so mad about. Now the dish is clean. Every single piece of it!

(Cut to a one shot of Wilt as he sits up and groans in frustration. Cut to the sleeping quarters of the Disciple’s Lair. Pan across the room starting from the window as light shines inside. Zoom in on Jasmine sleeping in her bed as the light reaches her face. Cut to a one shot of Jasmine as she opens her eyes, sits up, looks out of the window and sighs. Cut to a full shot of the kitchen in Oblex’s study where Wilt walks in to calm Duke and Lana down.)

WILT

Guys, relax. I’ll just do the dishes and Duke can go do something else.

(Duke walks out of the room. Cut to a one shot of Jasmine wearing a black jumpsuit and opening her dresser drawer. Cut to a close-up of her purple cloak laying in the drawer. Cut back to the one shot as she pulls the cloak out of the dresser and swings it around her body to put it on. The cloak fills up the shot then cut to a shot showing one side of a hallway. There is an open doorway where the Mistress can be seen sparring with three other disciples of Aphrodite. Jasmine and the disciple, Gale, walk past each other in the hallway. Jasmine is now wearing her cloak.)

GALE

Good morning, sister.

(Jasmine nods back at Gale. Cut back to a full shot of Oblex’s living room. Oblex walks in from upstairs. After hearing the sound of Oblex entering Duke comes in from off-screen and hurries past him.)

DUKE

Hey, Jolly Jugs! I’m heading out. Wilt can cover the rest of my chores.

OBLEX

Ok, Happy… uh… Hemorrhoids! Have fun!

(Duke strolls out of the front door. After hearing the door slam shut Wilt comes out of the kitchen and looks at Oblex in bewilderment.)

WILT

Professor What the hell was that?

OBLEX

Oh, who could say no to that guy? He’s just so charming!

(Cut to Jasmine polishing a shrine to Aphrodite that other disciples are kneeling at. Another disciple, Anne, walks by.)

ANNE

Good morning, sister.

(Jasmine nods back at Anne. Cut to Oblex’s living room where Wilt is cleaning the coffee table with disinfecting spray. Lana is sitting on the couch and angrily flipping through a book while ranting to him.)

LANA

I can’t believe he just took off like that again. As soon as he gets back I am going to force him to pull his own weight around here. I mean, where does he even go all of the time?

WILT

Remember, he’s had kind of a rough week. Try and take it easy on him.

LANA

Yeah, I know.

(Cut to a close-up of an oven as a hand turns one of the dials and small flames come out of the stovetop. Cut to a shot of Jasmine as she cracks and egg into a pan on top of the stove. Another disciple, Kim, walks past her.)

KIM

Good morning, sister.

(Jasmine nods back a Kim. Cut back to Oblex’s study and a one shot of Wilt skimming a bookshelf. He pulls out a book titled “Greek Deities: What you need to know. Cut to a full shot of the room as Lana opens the door and steps partway inside.)

LANA

Don’t you go slacking off on your work too.

(Cut to a medium shot of the Mistress sitting at a table in the Disciple’s Lair. Jasmine walks on-screen and sets a plate with an omelet on it in front of her.)

MISTRESS

You’re running a little slow this morning. I’ll expect you to complete your duties in a timely manner from now on.

(Cut to a split-screen showing close-ups of both Wilt and Jasmine. They speak at the same time.)

WILT JASMINE

Yes ma’am. Yes Mistress.

(Fade to black.)

EXT. – DOWNTOWN LÁGNOSMIDDAY

(Scene opens with a tracking shot of Duke, Wilt, and Lana walking along a sidewalk in downtown Lágnos where they appear to be walking in the direction of the camera.)

LANA

Alright, so I get that god is trying to kill you now. I mean who wouldn’t? But what I still don’t get is how you arrived in Greece at the same time I did.

DUKE

I told you, that was just a coincidence.

WILT

Either that or Aphrodite’s just screwing with you guys.

(All three turn their attention to the sound of someone yelling off-screen.)

TOURIST

Give that back!

(Cut to a full shot showing a girl with dyed hair and wearing all black running away from a female tourist and clutching something shiny in her hand. Cut to a one shot of the girl, Venom, as she runs forward, looking behind her until she bumps into Duke. Cut to a medium shot of Duke and Venom as Venom looks up at Duke. Close-up on her eyes as they twinkle to show Aphrodite’s spell taking effect. Cut back to the medium shot. Venom speaks in a Cockney British accent.)

VENOM

‘Ello, love. Mind ‘ang’n on to this ‘ere for a bit? Promise it’ll be worth your time.

(Venom winks and slips a necklace into Duke’s pocket, then runs away. The tourist comes running up to Duke.)

TOURIST

Hey! Did she tell you where she was going?

(Duke shakes his head in confusion.)

TOURIST

You lying sack of shit!

(Cut to a full shot as the tourist punches Duke in the Adam’s apple then runs after Venom. Duke chokes softly while Lana snickers.)

LANA

(Sarcastic) You sure do have a way with women.

DUKE

(Choking) Shut up!

INT. – DISCIPLE’S LAIRMIDDAY

(Scene opens with a shot of the Mistress and Jasmine. Jasmine is striking and blocking a wooden dummy with rotating arms while the Mistress stands nearby with her arms crossed and a disapproving look on her face. Jade enters the room carrying a security tape. The Mistress uncrosses her arms and approaches Jade. Cut to a shot of Jade and the Mistress where Jasmine is in the background. Jasmine stops the dummy’s rotating arms to look over at them.)

JADE

I’ve returned. (Handing the Mistress the tape.) All evidence of my time at the museum is left on this security tape.

MISTRESS

Would it not have been easier to disable the security camera’s before going in like we all did last time? (To Jasmine) I didn’t say stop by the way!

(Jasmine returns to striking and blocking the dummy.)

JADE

I figured this would give me a chance to better review my performance.

MISTRESS

Excellent idea. (To Jasmine) Faster! (To Jade) And what of the map?

(Cut to a close-up of Jasmine as she looks over at Jade with disdain before picking up her pace. Cut to a medium shot of Jade and the Mistress.)

JADE

It has been acquired by the cursed one and his companion. I’ve tracked them to the home of a local archeologist by the name of Oblex. I’m awaiting further instruction before engaging.

MISTRESS

Good work, Jade. I’ll see if I can’t catch them when their alone and retrieve the map.

JADE

Thank you, Mistress.

(Cut to a full shot of the room as Jade walks away and the scene fades out.)

INT. – PALÁTI TOU DIONYSOUEVENING

(Scene opens with a medium shot of Venom and Phil. They are both sitting at the bar and there are a few empty glasses in front of them. Venom is browsing a menu excitedly while Phil appears annoyed.)

VENOM

Oooh! What do you think this one tastes like?

PHIL

Ugh. I don’t know. Don’t you think we should be getting out of here now?

VENOM

To go where?

PHIL

I was kind of thinking my place.

VENOM

I don’t think so Phil.

(Venom stands up to walk away. Phil stands up too and grabs her by the arm.)

PHIL

Hey! I thought-

VENOM

‘Ey man. I let you buy me the drinks, I didn’t say a fing about shagging did I? No offense but, ‘ave you ever seen yourself in the mirror?

(Cut to a tracking shot of Duke as he makes his way through a crowd of people. Venom bumps into him just as she did before.)

DUKE

You again?

(Venom pulls Duke’s arm around her as Phil catches up to them. Cut to a shot of all three.)

VENOM

Sorey love. I’m with ‘im.

PHIL

So was this your big plan? To make a fool outta me

VENOM

Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Me mate ‘ere ain’t afraid to knock some sense into you!

(Duke pulls his arm away from Venom.)

DUKE

Whoa! Slow down. There’s no need to-

PHIL

So you’re a big tough guy eh?

VENOM

Yeah! ‘E’s just itch’n for a fight!

DUKE

Now if we all just calm down I’m sure we can reach some sort of-

(Phil cuts Duke off by upper-cutting him in the ribs. Cut to a medium shot of Duke and Phil as Duke staggers from the blow, clutching his chest. Phil swings at Duke’s head only this time Duke ducks and grabs Phil with both arms then throws him to the ground. Duke then kneels over Phil and repeatedly punches him in the face. Phil grabs Duke by his shirt collar and head-butts him then rolls over so he is on top of Duke. Close-up on Phil as he is about to punch Duke again but pepper spray gets sprayed in his eyes and he steps back to cover his face while crying out in pain. Cut to a shot of Duke, Phil, and Lana where Lana is standing over the others pointing the can of pepper spray at Phil. Duke stands back up.)

DUKE

Thanks Lana, if you hadn’t shown up-

(Lana cuts Duke off by spraying him in the face. Now Duke is covering his eyes as well.)

DUKE

Why do you always have that pepper spray with you

LANA

How could I not with you testosterone junkies making a mess everywhere you go?

(Cut to a full shot as Danny comes by to escort Phil out of the bar.)

DANNY

Alright buddy, time to go.

VENOM

Yeah! Sod off!

LANA

Who exactly are you now?

(Venom ignores Lana and runs up to Duke who is still rubbing his eyes. Cut a medium shot of the two.)

VENOM

So Action Man, you got a name?

DUKE

Uh, Duke. Who are you?

VENOM

People call me Venom.

LANA

That can’t be your real name.

VENOM

(To Lana) My folks gave me a different one but they’re all a bit too posh for my taste. (To Duke) By the way, you wouldn’t ‘appen to still have that necklace I nicked from the old bird would you?

(Duke pulls the necklace out of his pocket and Venom snatches the necklace out of Duke’s hand to admire it.)

VENOM

Ooh! I can tell we’re gonna get along just fine. (Pause) So I ‘ate be’n forward and all, but you wouldn’t ‘appen to know of any place that I could stay tonight would you? I’m fairly new in town.

LANA

Sorry, we don’t have any room to spare but there are some lovely low-budget motels across the street from here.

DUKE

(Smugly) Hold on, Lana. Didn’t the old man say that he’d just finished turning the library into a guest room?

VENOM

That’s perfect!

(Lana glares at Duke as the scene fades out.)

INT. – OBLEX’S STUDYMORNING

(Scene opens with a full shot of Oblex’s living room. Lana is sitting on the couch looking at some papers and books that she has spread out on the coffee table. Venom comes in from the library/guest room with her hair disheveled and wearing a black skirt.)

VENOM

Whatcha read’n?

LANA

The positive and negative geological effects produced by Greek architecture during the mid to late archaic period. Volume 6.

VENOM

(Sarcastic) Now that’s some kinda sexy.

LANA

It’s a bit odd seeing a woman walking out on Duke before he gets the chance to.

(Venom grabs her shoes and sits down in a chair positioned across from Lana.)

VENOM

I won’t be gone long. I just can’t go to a tourist spot like this and stay cooped up in one place. You’re welcome to join me if your book runs a bit dull.

(Venom puts a foot on the coffee table while tying one of her shoes. Cut to a point-of-view shot from Venom as Lana looks up from her papers and accidently up Venom’s skirt. Cut to a medium shot of Lana and Venom.)

LANA

No that’s fine I… Whoa!

(Venom follows Lana’s gaze and then quickly puts her foot back down.)

VENOM

Sorey about that. I talked a certain someone into trying on me knickers last night.

LANA

(Intrigued) Really?

(Venom slips on her other shoe and starts walking over to the door.)

VENOM

It’s unladylike to kiss and tell. (Winks) See ya later.

(Cut to a full shot as Venom exits. After the sound of the front door closing Duke comes out of the guest room, still half asleep. Lana stands up, looks over a duke, and smiles mischievously.)

LANA

Alright Slut. Let’s see em!

DUKE

What?

LANA

Don’t “what” me. Take off your pants!

(Wilt walks in from the kitchen.)

WILT

What’s going on in here?

LANA

Duke’s wearing panties!

WILT

I’ll get the camera!

(Wilt runs into the guest room excitedly. Lana starts advancing on Duke and Duke takes a step away from her.)

DUKE

C’mon. Can’t we all be mature about this?

LANA

Like Hell!

(Cut to a medium shot of Duke and Lana. Lana grabs Duke’s pants by the hips and tries to pull them down. Duke attempts to turn around and run away from her but trips and lands on his face. Duke squirms to get away while Lana manages to get his pants down just enough to see Venom’s panties peeking out from underneath.)

LANA

Hurry Wilt! Take the picture!

(Cut to a full shot of the room as Wilt runs out of the guest room with a camera in hand. He quickly snaps a photo of Duke. Wilt and Lana start laughing and Duke pulls his pants back up. Initially he is angry but as he stands up he can’t help but laugh along with the others.)

DUKE

This brings back memories huh? You trying to take my pants off.

(The laughter dies down and all stand in awkward silence.)

LANA

(Awkward) Right well, I’ve got a lot of work to do so…

DUKE

(Awkward) Yeah, of course. Wilt and I have that thing so…

(Duke trails off and starts to head out of the front door with Wilt.)

LANA

Oh! Don’t forget. You have to come with me to meet with the licensing officer later today.

(Duke pauses for a moment in the doorway.)

DUKE

Wouldn’t miss it.

(Duke and Wilt exit as the scene fades out.)

EXT. – LICENSING OFFICEMIDDAY

(Scene opens on a close-up of the map which zooms out to show Duke holding it. Cut to a shot of Duke and Wilt sitting on the curb outside of the Licensing Office.)

DUKE

If I had known that she was just going to make us wait outside I wouldn’t have come.

WILT

Well it’s not like either one of us know how all this technical stuff works. Besides, watching Lana go through paperwork probably wouldn’t have been very exciting anyway.

(Duke stands up and holds the map out to admire it.)

DUKE

Yeah, I guess.

(Suddenly a knife flies in from off-screen and lodges itself in Duke’s leg. Duke falls to the ground screaming. Wilt jumps up to try and help him but Duke pulls away whenever Wilt tries to touch the knife.)

DUKE

FUUUCK! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! (Slapping Wilt’s hand away.) NO! Don’t touch it!

(The Mistress calmly walks by, snatches the map out of Duke’s hand, then continues off-screen again.)

MISTRESS

Thank you.

(Duke and Wilt continue to wrestle as Wilt attempts to remove the knife.)

WILT

Hold still you little bitch!

(Wilt finally pulls the knife out of Duke’s leg at which point Duke breathes a sigh of relief and lays sprawled out on the sidewalk. Lana runs out of the Licensing Office. Cut to a point-of-view shot from Lana as she sees Duke laying on the ground and Wilt holding the bloody knife. Cut to a shot of the three of them.)

LANA

What the hell is going on here

(Duke sits up quickly to show that he’s not dead.)

DUKE

That crazy purple bitch just stole the map!

LANA

(Sarcastic) Oh no! Even the translated version we have back at home?

WILT

Wait. You have a spare copy of the map AND you’ve finished translating it?

LANA

Totes do! I figured some extra precautions were necessary after hearing about everything you’ve been through so far. As for the translating, all we had left to do was get this legal business out of the way before heading over to pick up the Heart of Aphrodite. I wanted to surprise you but Duke getting stabbed works too.

WILT

That’s fantastic! Let’s go and finally end this nightmare!

EXT. – OBLEX’S STUDYMIDDAY

(Cut to a shot showing the front of Oblex’s study surrounded by police cars and with caution tape preventing Duke, Wilt, and Lana from entering. All three have their backs to the camera while they look over the scene in front of them.)

DUKE

Well shit.

INT. – ANTIQUE SHOPAFTERNOON

(Scene opens on a one shot of Venom looking over a shelf in an antique shop and wearing a new souvenir jacket. She picks up a small statue of a naked man and looks it over. Cut to a medium shot of Venom and the store clerk who is standing behind the checkout counter.)

STORE CLERK

Can I help you with anything?

VENOM

I can’t decide if this is tacky or my new paperweight.

STORE CLERK

Well just give me a holler if you’re buy’n. (Pause) So are you in town for the Festival of Love? It’s only a couple of days away.

VENOM

(Disinterested) Yeah. I’ve just been killing time since I got here.

STORE CLERK

Well you can always try out the island’s waterpark. You know they just got a new roller coaster? The Rabid Monsoon!

VENOM

Give me a break. I get wetter at a strip club than I got on that lousy ride.

STORE CLERK

(Awkward) Oh. I’ll just leave you to it then.

(A store bell chimes. Cut to a full shot of the store as Duke and Lana enter and approach Venom. Cut to a shot of Duke, Lana, and Venom.)

VENOM

‘Ey guys. You really need to try some of the tourist attractions they ‘ave set up ‘ere.

LANA

We’ve been a little preoccupied lately. For some reason the police are standing guard outside our house. (Accusatory) I don’t suppose you’d know anything about that?

VENOM

Um… Think fast!

(Venom underhand tosses the statue at Lana then dashes for the exit. Lana catches the statue and Duke covers his face making it easy for Venom to escape. Cut to outside the antique shop entrance where Wilt is standing guard. Venom runs out of the entrance and Wilt catches her. Venom slips out of her jacket and continues past Wilt leaving him confused and holding the empty jacket. Lana comes running out of the exit with Duke limping behind.)

DUKE

Damn it Wilt! You had one job!

(Wilt drops the jacket. Duke, Wilt, and Lana all run off-screen.)

EXT. – DOWNTOWN LÁGNOSAFTERNOON

(Cut to a tracking shot of Venom running down a street in downtown Lágnos. Cut to a full shot as Wilt and Lana round the corner with Duke hobbling closely behind. Cut back to the tracking shot as Venom runs past a shopkeeper sweeping the front steps of his shop. Venom snatches the broom out of his hands. Cut to a shot of a chain-link fence. Venom uses the broom to pole-vault over it and lands on her feet on the other side. Cut to a shot of Duke, Wilt, and Lana.)

WILT

Are you serious

(Duke gets angry and runs ahead of the others causing his leg wound to bleed slightly. Cut back to the fence. Duke runs and attempts to jump over it. He makes it most of the way but his belt gets caught on top of the fence causing Duke to flip over the side and get stuck upside down. Duke slides partway out of his pants leaving Venom’s panties exposed. Cut to a shot showing both sides of the fence as Venom stands triumphantly in front of Duke. Wilt and Lana catch up and stand on the other side of the fence.)

VENOM

Pink lace looks good on you. Very tasteful.

DUKE

I am hereby putting you under a citizen’s arrest!

VENOM

You’re not a citizen ‘ere. Besides, whatever you found at the ‘ouse wasn’t mine. I was just… ‘olding it for a friend.

WILT

We still need to turn you in if we want to get inside it anytime soon. We have something very, very important there.

VENOM

Whoa! Slow down there. If the fuzz finds out for sure that any drugs were there it could be months before they clear out. ‘Owever if they catch another lead then they’ll leave you alone.

DUKE

What are you suggesting?

VENOM

You got a mobile on you?

(Duke reaches up into his pocket and pulls out his cellphone then hands it to Venom. Venom dials a number into the phone then speaks into it with a proper British accent.)

VENOM

(Clears throat.) Hello, dear. Would you be kind enough to connect me with a police officer? I’d like to leave an anonymous tip. (Pause) Yes, that sounds lovely. (Pause) Right then. There’s a bag of some unethical substance buried just beneath the sand under the boardwalk. It’s none of my business of course but I think it’s been going around. (Pause) That’s right. Near that run-down looking restaurant. (Pause) Right, off you go then. Ta Ta.

(Venom hangs up, throws the phone on the ground, and stomps on it. She returns to her normal speaking voice.)

DUKE

What’d you do that for!

VENOM

You don’t want the government spying on you all the time do you? Anyway, just give em a couple of ‘ours and then your ‘ouse should be clear. Meanwhile, poor ol’ Venom is out a grand. Now, do we still feel the need to arrest the Beddable British Babe?

DUKE

We’re good. But can somebody help me down now?

INT. – DISCIPLE’S LAIRAFTERNOON

(Scene opens on a close-up of a table as the stone map is dropped unceremoniously on top of it. Zoom out to show Jasmine sitting and the Mistress standing at the table.)

JASMINE

Is that what I think it is?

MISTRESS

(Smirks) Are you ready to save the world?

(Fade to black.)

INT. – OBLEX’S STUDYNIGHT

(Scene opens with a full shot of Duke, Wilt, Lana, and Venom all standing in the living room. Lana is placing her newly purchased naked man statue on the coffee table.)

WILT

Thank god everything is still here.

DUKE

So Venom, are you going to be staying here another night?

(There is a knock on the door.)

VENOM

Oh… about that. I’ve actually met somebody else. That’s probably ‘im at the door.

(Venom opens the door and a man wearing all black and dyed hair steps inside. The man puts his arm around Venom.)

SAGE

Hi. My name is Sage.

VENOM

Well it’s been fun but we should be going now. Thanks for setting us up by the way Lana!

LANA

No problem. Stop by any time!

(Sage and Venom exit. Duke continues to gaze at the door looking disappointed.)

DUKE

(Sigh) At least we totally had sex.

LANA

(Snickering) That’s not what she told me.

DUKE

So what? Are you two besties now or something?

(Lana shrugs and goes back to her books. Duke sits on the couch and rubs his head in frustration.)

DUKE

Bloody ‘Ell

 


Tough Love: Episode 5

  • Author: Alexander Dingeman
  • Published: 2015-12-01 20:50:23
  • Words: 4570
Tough Love: Episode 5 Tough Love: Episode 5