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Thou Art A Witch

Thou Art A Witch


Mario V. Farina

Copyright 2016 Mario V. Farina

Shakespir Edition

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

All Rights Reserved

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Mario V. Farina

Email: [email protected]

We live in a world of witches. This is more of a problem in other lands than it is in the United States because we don’t use archaic language here any more. But we should know more about witches anyway. Here are the facts:


There are many witches in our country. They look like ordinary people, both men and women. There are bad witches and good witches. The bad witches can cast spells; good witches cannot do this but they can remove them where they exist.


If you say to a person, “Thou art a witch!” there may be a reaction. If he or she is not a witch, the individual may be offended, but nothing worse is likely to happen. However, if that person is a bad witch, he or she may cast a spell upon you. The spell will be such that it may be removed only by a good witch!

I can’t emphasize how important that last paragraph is!


In my youth I was at a diner one time after I had been reading about witches. There was a lovely blond woman serving me and I thought I’d try a new line. I said, “Thou art a witch!” The plan was that if she complained, I’d say I had yearned to be placed under her spell. As it turned out, the woman was a bad witch! She became very angry and, indeed, placed me under her spell. She turned me into a coffee cup! The picture at the front of this book shows what I looked like at that time.


Yes, that is a picture of me at the time. I was actually a coffee cup!


I had not expected this outcome and spent several days in this condition. But I was optimistic. Every time I’d be placed on a table and someone sat there to eat, I’d say, “Thou art a witch!” My hope was that a good witch would hear this and remove the spell. Most of the time the result was, simply, shock. After all, who had ever heard of a talking coffee cup?


After a week of this unpleasant existence, a pretty woman came to have breakfast. She was alone. I said, “Thou art a witch!” I was hoping she was a good witch so that she could remove the spell.


“Yes,” she responded. “I am a good witch.” I was overjoyed and begged, “Would you please make me human again?” She was willing but in no hurry. She wanted to know more about me. We had a pleasant chat, which was interrupted only when the server, a kindly-looking older woman, came to take the her order. I had found out a lot of good things about the young woman, but all she knew about me, up to that point, was that I was a coffee cup.


We continued our conversation, and I got the feeling that when I was a human again, we could take our relationship up to the next step. Eggs and bacon were delivered to her and she enjoyed this but I had nothing but coffee.


After the good witch had eaten, she changed me back to a human. At that time, I found myself sitting opposite her. We continued to chat. At the end, we exchanged telephone numbers and she left. The server came back and stared at me. “I didn’t see you come in,” she said. “How could she have? I thought. I had been there all the while as a coffee cup!

I found this a little amusing and was chortling a little too loudly.


“What’s so funny? she asked.


I was laughing by this time, and I said through my tears of laughter, “I was thinking about the time I said something I shouldn’t have and got turned into a coffee cup!”


“What on earth did you say?” the server asked.


“Thou art a witch!” I replied

The woman’s countenance took on a severe appearance “That was nasty!” she growled as she turned me back to a coffee cup.

Thou Art A Witch

  • ISBN: 9781311426994
  • Author: Mario V. Farina
  • Published: 2016-05-17 19:35:06
  • Words: 749
Thou Art A Witch Thou Art A Witch