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The Prez

The Prez





Shakespir Edition Copyright 2016 Pamela Joan Barlow Shakespir Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Shakespir.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.



She stood in front of the podium with a smile and both gloved hands in the air. “Thank you for coming to my inauguration and my inauguration speech on the coldest damnest day of the fucking new calendar year. Yes sir. Yes ma’am. Thank you, mama. I accept the title of the President of the United States of America as the first fucking female of the USA. USA. USA. USA,” she waved with both arms with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with a series of cheers and claps.

She said. “Now, I am starting my goal of ‘Save me, Save America’ theme right now. And I am truly sorry if you are missing relatives like a father or a daughter or a grandma. Yeah, they are dead and buried somewhere in my home state. Yeah, I admit the presidential race was murder, literally. Lots of people hate me lots of people love me. I won the presidential race with fifty one percent of the vote. For you mathematically challenged assholes, fifty is half of one hundred. Thus, fifty one is greater than half of one hundred.

“Now, I don’t know why the USA holds the swearing-in day in the middle of fucking ass cold month of January in Washington DC. Why can’t the people of the USA vote on the president like in the month of May and then sweat in the heat of the summertime days. Whatever!”

She bounced up and down, waving both gloves hands. “I am so excited. I have so much good news to share that I’m about to pee inside my old wool non-designer pants. I wanna think the designer fur company for the fourteen thousand dollar fur coat of white with the matching hat and a matching pair of very warm furry gloves. That right there is the finest illustration of government-initialed ass licking my butthole in history, ya’ll. The designer fur company came to the house unwelcome and unannounced and then gave me all these new stuff whilest I stood on the front porch. Hint: I don’t allow strangers or my mother-in-law inside my house. You should heed my warning too. So I really appreciate all free stuff. And I feel bad taking it without paying for it. But I did. Now, I am not going to do one single presidential favor for the fucking fourteen thousand dollar fur coat. Do not call me when I am working inside the White House, the home of the President of the USA, which is me. Do not call me at all. Period. Or you can deal with my personal security guards! Exclamation point! Stupid assholes!

“Now, the good news for all the people of the USA! I am so excited. The good news, there will be no more collection of federal, state, local or city income taxes on your personal salary. That means, if you earn fifty thousand dollars per year at your paid job with a company, then you will keep all of the money, honey. Yeah,” she clapped with a smile as the audience sounded with a series of cheers and applaud.

She stopped the clap but continued to smile. “Now, there is more. There will be no more collection of tax monies on property like your house or your building. There will be no more collection of tax monies for schools, vehicles, merchandise, food items, gasoline, and all the other items that the stupid ass local and state governments implemented to get your money. I am freezing my ass off right now here, so I will not go into any more details,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with a series of cheers and applauds.

“Now, that means your money will paid for the merchandise that you wanna own without all the stupid taxes that went to the shitty ass local or state or city governments assholes that used it to purchase stuff for their greedy buttonholes. There is no longer a local or a city or a state government, either. How is this possible? How can I do this? I am the new President of the United States of America. Right now, I have fired Congress. Yes, all the crooked politicians of males and females are unemployed and without a job. Each one is not present here at my famous inauguration speech. And I don’t give a damn either. Each one is moving out their numerous boxes of personal shit out from the Capitol Building. The Capitol Building has a new purpose. No, there will not be another Congress, because we, the people govern ourselves now and forever,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with a series of cheers and claps.

“Now, the IRS staff has been fired. You are not paying out anymore federal income taxes. So why do we need the IRS staffers to collect dust bunnies? The IRS building is closed for future purpose of my choosing. The EPA staff has been fired. The environment will not be harmed and will be maintained by the American people or the group of earthly environmentalists. I bet the earthly environmentalists love that. See? I can be an environmental friendly person too. How is this possible? I will explain in a minute. Now, all the federal, state, and local government agencies have been fired. There were over 24 million federal government workers. Geez! Why didn’t we just employ the rest of the fucking citizens of 300 million? All the 24 million federal government workers are moving out their personal boxes of personal shit out from the office desk and leaving the building forever. They didn’t have a government job either. So, tough shit! This is my gift to the America people who are fed up with corruption, bribery, blackmail, and gluttony and vanity and all the other seven deadly sin that get you living with Satan down in hell, if you believe in that fairy tale.”

“Now, the FBI and CIA people are fired and the building is closed. All are without a job. However, some of the field agents that can handle a hand gun are being transferred into the protection services. I will explain that in a minute too.”

In summary, all government agencies are closed. All government workers are fired without a job. All the foreign or American companies that depended upon a weekly or monthly government check are shitta outta lucko. There is not more money. The American bank account is empty. Actually, it never was filled with money, only borrowed monies from other foreign governments. I just told you that I will not collecting any more income taxes from your individual paycheck which will be used to pay for stuff where the American people can maintain it or fix it or do it. It is called a job for the asshole people who are now unemployed. So you can have the opportunity to work to pay for stuff like food.”

“Now, I have some great news. Every pair of feet in winter shoes or summer shoes or naked toes is now a citizen of the great United States of America,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod as some members of the audience cheers. Some members of the audience booed.

“Now, this means if you are an illegal alien, then you are now a member of the great United States of America. If you were an American citizen, you still are and will be forever,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod as some members of the audience cheers. Some members of the audience booed.

“Now, my podium microphone is louder than your booing voices. Now, if you want to hear the rest of my plan, then shut the fuck up immediately.” The voices faded almost into silence. She smiled with a nod. “Now, I am the President of the United States of America here. Now, I will be cursing a lot. I was taught by my father that a lady didn’t curse or swear within the eardrum of public people. However, my fucked up country of the USA by fucked individuals is near and dear to my heart as an American. Therefore, I find that all nasty and ugly curse words alleviate my angry, my tension, and my fucking frustration. Now…”

A tall male bounced up and down with a loud yell. “I lost my job as a government worker. I am going to sue you, Madam President and the US Federal government for my job back with back pay and emotional distress.”

She pointed a gloved finger at the male with a laugh and a smile. “Look and listen to me, asshole! There are not any more judges to present your shitty case to argue with about your cushiony federal government job. You are outta of a job. You are unemployed. And I dismissed all the federal, state, and local judges. The judicial buildings are closed. The judges are unemployed like you, asshole. Now, you can tarry your butthole back home to your house. You can listen to my great plan to save the USA on the radio or the television or the laptop or another media devise. Now, I have more news. You do not have to pay anymore income taxes to the federal government. There are not anymore legal cases of illegal immigrants. There is not more federal government. There is only the United States of America. I am your elected leader, not a fucking dictator. You are the people, the owners of the United States of America. Now, as an American, you will obey the current laws, such like, no speeding on the highways. No stealing each other cookies. No breaking into house to drink the gallon of milk. You learn to obey the rule or you will die on the spot by the home owner or the store owner or the local person with a deadly weapon.”

“Now, for the stupid assholes at home, the police and the fire departments were paid with government monies. Now, I am abolished all money taxes for things where the monies paid for the police department. The police department protected your ass, even though so people didn’t appreciate it. Now, all you fucking assholes are going to be so fucking sorry. But I will address that in a few minutes.”

“Now, back to the owners of the United States of America, I am an American. I live here and own a little piece of the USA, since I own a piece of land property with a house and I have a job. If you go and get surf the internet, there is this great thing called the US Debt Clock. The clock shows all kinds of numbers. For example, it shows the current US work force employed is 151,000,000. The US unemployed is 15,000,000. The US population is 325,000,000.

“Wow! The US population is 325 million minus 151 workers who work a job equals 175 non-working people within the USA. So, why the fuck ain’t everyone working? If everyone worked, then America would be saved from debt, corruption, bribery, blackmail, and the other evils of the world. Right? Right!”

“Let us look closer at my nifty paper report that I worked on yesterday. The US Debt clock shows more. I am trying to find out the 174 non-working people. And I have found the answer to my question, folks.”

“The number of prison inmates inside a fucking four feet by six feet jail cell is 2,000,000. That’s .006 of the total population. That’s not bad. But should we, the people shoot a bullet for rape or cut an arm for stealing or exile the family out of the USA for stealing money? Yeah, I like that idea, too. The number of convicted felons is 6,700,000, including murders, robbery, rapes, assaults, drug possession, corruptions, briberies, fraud, and other stuff that I don’t know. This is awful. This is terrible. What do we do about this one? I don’t know either. I gotta think about.”

“The non-working people within the USA consist of the following. The number of prison inmates is 2,000,000. The number of US veterans is 21,000,000. The number of kids in school is 54,000,000. The number of US retirees is 51,000,000. Okay. The total number is 128 non-working people, so far, which makes perfect sense to me. School children are too young and too stupid to work for money. The elderly people group is too old and too stupid to work again for money. The US veterans deserve much more from each and every American for a military devoted and committed duty that continued our fucking ass freedom as a free American. Hell, yeah! Thank you military forces for your bravery and your might! Hell, man! I love you all!”

“So, I must continue looking for the rest of the non-working people.”

“Wow! This is an interesting discovery. The number of food stamp getters is 43,000,000. That is the number of people that get free food from the US federal government. Is that fair to you and me? Fuck no! The number of people without health insurance is 41,000,000, who are probably sick and dying anyways. Is that fair to you and me as a set of healthy people? Hell, no! The number of people living in poverty is 47,000,000. Hmm, that is close but it doesn’t make any sense to me. The number of food stamp getters if 43 million. The number of folks without insurance is 41 million. But the number of poverty folks is 47 million, which is about four million people short. So, I guess that some people work really hard but can’t make enough money to feed their families. Is that fair and just? Fucking ass shit, naw! That is fucking sad. I wanna scream. I wanna cry for them. And I am not going to cry for them. I am going to do something.”

The US Debt Clock shows that the middle of the road money income is $30,000. That is not a lot of money for a family of four with a mama, a daddy, a son, a daughter, and a dog. Especially, if you had to pay taxes to the US federal government and the state governments and the city governments for stuff. It does not matter now. You do not have to pay in income taxes anymore.

“So, the total non-working people of 175 million within the USA consist of the following. The number of prison inmates is 2,000,000. The number of US veterans is 21,000,000. The number of kids in school is 54,000,000. The number of US retirees is 51,000,000. The total number of people on welfare is 43 million. That number is short by 4 million people. I am not worried, folks. The four million math number is made of college students that do not work. The robbers and the rapists do not work and are not in jail yet. And the number of homeless persons does not work but continue to annoy the shit outta every rolling car. So, I am satisfied. Are you satisfied? Actually, I really don’t give a rat’s ass if you are satisfied, either.

She tapped on the piece of paper with a smile. “Now, this is interesting. There are 151 million workers who work and pay into the US federal government at total of 3.3 trillion dollars in income revenue. Now, how the hell is all that money of 3.3 trillion dollar going to pay off the US National Debt of 24 trillion dollars? Can a math people tell me? Can an economist tell me? Can a college profession tell me? Hell, no! No one can tell me. Because the math is correct. There are too little workers who contribute too little money to pay off the gigantic US National Debt. So, I am going to do something about it. Hell, yeah!

“Whoa! This is more interesting. The US Debt Clock shows this. The number of Medicaid getters if 74,000,000, so there are some people working within the 151 million US work force. I can tell you the number of Medicare workers is 24 million. However, the 24 million Medicare workers are going to reach the age of 67 and stop working. Thus, there is no more money into the US income tax bank account Why? Because they are entitled to stop working and collect social security benefits from the US Federal government. Now, the US Debt Clock shows that the number of Medicare soon-to-be getters is 58,000,000 or 58 million. Geez, folks! If you add the number of 24 million Medicare workers who will stop working plus the number of 58 million workers, who are going to stop working, then you get 80 million retirees that will stop working and will not pay money into the 3.3 trillion dollars income tax annual money pot and then will start to receive their social security benefits. Thus, the 151 million workers will be reduced by 80 million workers in a few years which will leave only 71 million people that sweat and work on a daily basis. This is very, very bad news, folks. Who is going to pay for the 24 trillion dollars of US National Debt, your mama or your grandma or your child or your grandchild?

“I can’t answer that question, so I will move on.

“The total personal debt is 17,583,600,900, 200 or 18 trillion dollars. This includes 13 trillion in house mortgage loans; 1.3 trillion dollars in student loans; 960,000,000 or 960 billion in credit card debt, and the rest makes up vehicle loans and other loans. So each personal debt count is $54,260. Wow! I am shocked.”

“The most intriguing number is the total US Debt. The US debt is money that is owned to someone like an American within United States of America, such like, a social security retiree on Medicare or a person on food stamps or a person on welfare or a person on unemployment. The total US Debt is $66,000,000,000,000 or 66 trillion. The internet US Debt Clock shows that each citizen owns $203,455 toward an American within the USA. I don’t rightly know how the hell that they calculated that great big number. But, I guess I can just go with it. The total US Debt per US family is $807,000. Fuck! That is a lot of money for one family unit of a mama, a daddy, a son, a daughter, and a dog. Well, the dog is not in the US work force, making a paycheck.

“Now, the US National Debt is the money that we own to other countries like China, Japan, Belgium, the oil companies, and numerous others which shall not be named. The US National Debt is 24,000,000,000,000 or 24 trillion dollars. Each citizen owns $74,000 to the other foreign countries. Each taxpayer owns $200,550. Holy fucking shit!

“Some of the more interesting number to me is the US federal income tax revenue. The US federal income tax revenue is the money that is collected from a worker who has a fucking job and works for a living like me and you. The number is only 3,354,279,000,000 or 3.3 trillion dollars. The revenue collection per citizen is only $10,500. That’s it. The revenue collection per taxpayer is $28,500. That’s all. So, that seems so unfair that each US work forced taxpayer is forced to pay in their paycheck of hard working monies of $10,000 when they own $203,000 to another American within the US Federal government while the rest of the lazy ass citizens get stuff for free,” she waved both arms into the air with a smile and a nod.

“Well, each citizen of the USA has two kinds of debt, the US Debt and the US National Debt. Do you know what those numbers add? Really? Do you wanna know the addition of those two math numbers? Yeah, I wanna know too. Let’s see here. The US National Debt is 24 trillion plus the US Debt of 66 trillion dollars equals 96 trillion dollars that the USA owns to someone else and an American citizen. You are an American living with me in the great USA. Thus, you and me individually own $277,450 dollars to the USA. That fuckingly sucks.”

“However, I am your new President of the United States today, right now. Now, I am proclaiming that all personal debt is wiped clean off the chalk board. A chalk board was used during my time when I was a first grader in elementary school. Yeah, I am old and experienced and wise. So, everyone owns their personal house on their personal land property, all free and clear. As for the national and international money banks, fuck off. You know I get sick and tired of learning that my personal bank that holds my little bitty personal bank account had used my hard working money to purchase a baseball field or a new building or a sponsor a social event where it displayed the bank’s name. Where is my personal name coupled with the bank on that building? You used my money. The money belongs to me, not the bank. The bank holds the money so that I don’t get robbed by a robber with a hand gun, who desires to steal all my cash. And I did not approve of you using my money for that building or park or baseball field asset. So, fuck you! I win. Now, all the mortgage loans are gone or zero or didn’t exist. And if you don’t like it, you come and see me tomorrow,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod.

She dropped both arms down the fur coat with a grin. “Part of the personal debt of 17 trillion dollars includes student loans, vehicle loans, home repair loans, credit card loans, and all types of other business or personal loans of money. Zap! The rest of the 17 trillion loans are gone or forgiven or zero point zero dollars, too. Now, you own your new or used vehicle and all the other assets, where the bank forced you to pay money to them. Now, you win, foreverly,” she waved both arms in the air with a smile and a nod as the audience clapped and cheered.

She clapped with a smile. “Now, the personal of 17 trillion dollars is paid off. Does it feel good, American citizen? Each person owns their house and their car. Now, if you were truly an asshole and didn’t bother to make the sacrifice to buy and maintain a house, tough horse shit. You get to live with your mama again. If you don’t own a house, too bad! You have to cough up the money to pay rent. Sorry, stupid assholes!

“Now, let’s move onto the US National Debt. The debt amount is six trillion dollars in the form of social security payments to the retired taxpayers and the Medicare payments to the hospitals and to the health insurance companies. Let’s us be honest here. All the Medicare money payments go to the physician or the hospital or the heath insurance companies which is not fair or justified for each taxpayer. So, I, as the new president of the United States, wipe out all the US National Debt of six trillion dollars,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod.

“Hey!” the voice yelled out with worry from the audience. “That means that I don’t get a social security check next month or for the rest of my life. And I can’t go and see my physician for my aliment. And I can’t get my medicine bottle refilled for my disease.”

She dropped both arms down and slapped the fur coat, lifting and pointed a gloved hand at the elderly man with a smile and a nod. “You are very smart, sir. Yes, that is correct. No taxpayer or citizen will receive a social security check next month, forever more. To my fucking ass father, who did not vote for his only daughter, you are correct that I was going to cut off your social security check. And I did it. So, fuck off, father! No taxpayer or citizen can go to the physician unless you pay with your hard working dollars from your personal bank account for the medical treatment.” The audience sounded with a series of boos as some of the audience members shuffled forward toward the elevated podium with sneers and growls to kill the new president of the United States of America.

The rows of men and women behind the new president of the United States stood upright and pulled out a gun from the fur coat into a pair of gloved hands, moving ahead and surrounded the new president, aiming a cold barrel down at numerous shocked faces. The marching audience members halted and held up both gloved hands. Some of the audience members back stepped and turned, leaving the inauguration site for home and personal safety.

She lifted both arms with a smile and a nod. “Listen up here! Look up here! This is my new cabinet members. They are not paid but devoted to noble cause to save America from corruption, bribery, blackmail, fraud, and the evil-doers within the USA. USA. USA,” she laughed. “Now, I would like to remind here that I have wiped out your individual personal debt of six trillion dollars. You own your personal house, car, new designer clothes, shoes, handbags, electronic toys, furniture, kitchen appliances, old or new grass lawn, business buildings, farms and all the other equipment all clear and free. So, your hard working money is all yours to keep or save or spend. Now, there are not more money income taxes to collect from a taxpayer. However, there is not a social security check to spend, either. There is no anymore Medicare money check coming from the US federal government. Because, the US federal government does not exist, only the United States of American which is me and you. I told you that at the first of my speech. I have eliminated and abolished all the federal government agencies today. The 24 million government workers are fired as per the request of the fifty one percent of the voters who elected me as the new president of the United States of America.

“Now, I have more good news. I have outlawed all insurance companies, including vehicle, health, life and other insurance agreements between the citizens of the USA and the greedy insurance company. So, each insurance company will be refunding you a check after all of their invoices had been paid through today’s date. Now, there are not anymore health insurance companies. So, if you become sick or you are sick with a disease or aliment, you must negotiate a money cash payment, not a credit card payment, with your physician and the hospital,” she waved both arms with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with a series of boos and hisses.

She dropped both arms down into the soft fur coat with a smile and a nod. “Now, this is a lesson of elementary economics. For you dumbasses that didn’t finish high school or attend college, the topic of economics is the study of supply and demand. Now, a physician used to get a nice healthy income from numerous individual health insurance companies and the monies from numerous hospitals. Now, that has changed. Actually, it has gone away. Now, I have abolished all the health insurance companies, since it was the nasty middle man that collected all your hard working monies. Now, the physician has no more healthy income for his medical practice without a medical patient, who is the suppliers. You are the medical patient, who is the damn demander. The physician needs you to make money for a living. Or I guess the rich physician could retire and do nothing for the rest of his or her life. On the flip side, you definitely don’t need the physician…”

“Yeah, I can die and not need anyone…” a voice laughed from within the audience.

“But Almighty God and my heavenly angels…” a second voice laughed from within the audience also.

She laughed. “Yes, there are numerous options for a sick person. You could go and see a physician and negotiate a monetary fee for the payment of all the necessary medical services. Or you could go and see Almighty God in heaven, after you die from your nasty and life killing medical disease. See? I don’t give a shit. I am the new President of the United States of America. I am not sick or ill or diseased. I am healthy with a set of good DNA genes. So, all the medical shit is your problem now. The same is true for a hospital. The hospital has all the medical equipment and the all the medications which is sitting around doing nothing. There are lots of people that are employed by a hospital. So the hospital needs you as the medical patient. Thus, you go and see the physician and the hospital and negotiate a payment for medical services. I promise. The hospital and the physician will see and treat you.”

The voice yelled in angry within the audience. “You’re a bitch, new President of the United States of America. I have a sick family member that needs the physician, the hospital, and the medications.”

She dropped both arms down into the fur coat with a smile and a nod. “Thus, young person, you should leave right now and go to the hospital to save your loved one. Let us summary, so far. There is not US federal government anymore. There is not collection of taxes from your paycheck anymore. There is not a room of Congress members anymore. There is not personal debt of a home mortgage, numerous car loans, numerous credit cards, and other loans anymore. There are not anymore insurance companies to rob your hard working monies anymore. Thus, the USA is exhibiting and executing free trade of economics. You are the damn demander of services. You select your vicious vendor and negotiate a fucking new price for all the services. The end!

“Now, I have more good news for all people of the USA. Now, all electricity power to each house and every apartment is free.” She waved both arms with a smile and a nod as some members of the audience sounded with claps and cheers.

“You like that. You will love this. Now, all the water will be free to each house and every apartment also, because Almighty God owns the planet, not me, not you, not him, not her, and not a utility company. Now, the electricity is free. There is a team of people that will monitor the electricity machine. When your personal household which is the family unit uses to much electricity, like leaves the air condition system running overtime and your electricity usage is high or higher than normal, then I will cut off your electricity inside your house.” She waved both arms with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with boos and yells of nasty words.

She dropped both arms down into the fur coat with a smile and a nod. “Thank you! I like my new concept too. You see? This is an even distribution of all natural resources. Everyone will be warm in the wintertime and cool in the summertime. If you abuse the electricity, you will lose the electricity. The same concept will apply to the water. If you over water your personal lawn? If you stupidly flood the floor of your personal bathroom? If you fill the swimming pool four times per week? All those incidents will be monitored and recorded by the water station which was being done anyway for a monthly invoice. Thus, all your household water utilization is monitored by me, now. If your consumption of water is higher than your next door neighbor, the water will cut off. That means there will be no water for baths, for cooking, for cleaning, for dirty clothes. Do you understand me?” She waved with both arms with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with a series of boos and yells of nasty words.

“Can I do all this to you, the people of the USA? Hell, yeah! I am the new President of the United States. Fifty one percent of the people voted for me. The rest did not. Now, if the television stations could please cut to the physical location of White House which is down the street for a few seconds? I asked each television stations to park a television van and at least one the television camera lenses outside of the White House. So, you are not watching me. You are watching the White House. Cut it off!” She smiled. “Now, all the electricity is off inside the White House which has come from my personal team of cabinet members of the presidential office inside each power station. By the way, I will not be living inside the White House. It is too fancy for my tastes. It takes up too much electricity power which is wrong for one person living inside that old smelly mansion. I am going to be living in a little tiny house next to the White House. As a matter of fact, the White House will become a museum for people to see. But I will explain that later in my presentation.

“So, I control all the power stations throughout the USA. I am the president of the United States of America. I control all the water and power stations throughout the USA through my devoted and trusted non-paid cabinet members, who possess numerous weapons. This is a fair and just distribution of natural resources of water and the man-made electricity. All Americans went free stuff. So, I am giving all Americans free stuff. All Americans want to be warm in the wintertime and cool in the summertime. Now, all Americans are getting it whether your bitch or not. Now, the issue is here.

“If your electricity power or water is cut off by me or my representative, then you must pay in money cash or gold bars or silver forks or platinum nuggets for the over usage of either power and water. Or you continue to stink in the heat! You had to do that anyways when you were getting a monthly bill. Some families might not be able to pay for the over usage of water or electricity power. That is not a problem. Any other nice citizen or other family member can pay the cash to the electricity power station in person and with cash, not checks, please. See? I am exhibiting the Bible rule here. Love thy neighbor as thyself. So, maybe your family member or your neighbor will help out. If not, tough shit! You have learned a valuable lesson of Bible greed and money economics.

“Now, let us summary all the good news. There are no more income taxes, insurance companies and a room of Congressmen and women to rape your person and fuck your buttonhole. You own your house, your yard, and your dog. So this brings up the question of safety and security for your personal assets, if you are too stupid to own and operate a hand gun. Don’t worry! I have a grand plan. Part of the 24 million federal workers was the 1.4 million armed forces. However, I have eliminated all government levels that would include the local police departments. Now, we, the people have a new militia. I am using the exact words that are written within the fucking ass Second Amendment of the great US Constitution, which was written by our forefathers over 200 years ago. The new militia is made up of two parts. The first part is the air and sea patrols. Currently, any pilot and sailor can stay and work and get paid to be involved in the new militia with their unique skills of sailing and flying. All the ground troops have been dismissed,” she waved both arms in the air with a smile and a nod as the audience sounded with a series of boos, hisses and yells.

“Now, a fleet of jet fighters and roaming helicopter are going to be patrolling the edges of the USA twenty four hours per day, seven days per week, and three hundred sixty five or six days per year. This is a warning to another foreign country. The United States of America will fight back and win the day, the night, the hour, the might. Do not dare me! I believe in the USA, always and forever,” she waved both arms in the air with a smile and a nod as some of the audience waved with arms and cheers.

She dropped both arms down the fur coat with a smile and a nod. “Your personal safety is your problem. If you own a gun, then great! Your ass and the asses of your family are protected. If you were too stupid to learn to shoot a gun, you will die. I fuckingly promise. Crime is about to spike way up into the heavens. There are not any more police officers to aid you. You must defend your fucking ass and your mama’s ass. Right now, my representative is working within their own personal home community to form a citizen’s watch. A citizen watch is a group of devoted homeowners who work together to protect their homes and the homes of their neighbors. This is the same Bible law: love thy neighbor as thy fucking ass self.

“Now, you can elect to opt out of the citizen watch. But if you house is getting robbed for merchandise or you daughter is getting rape, then your neighbors will stand around inside their nicely manicured green colored yards and watch and applaud. This is your decision or your demise. I don’t give a shit. I can shoot a gun to protect my ass.

“So, I am declaring a free state of protection for each citizen. You can get a gun at any of our donation centers. I will explain the donation centers in a moment. However, the gun ammunition can only be purchased with cash money or gold teeth or silver nuggets. I had always heard that Americans didn’t feel safe. They felt that the sissy US Federal government should defend their asses. Then, on the other side, some Americans didn’t want the US federal government to defend their fucking assess. Thus, I can’t please everyone. So, I elected to please no fucking body. So now, you can defend your own fucking ass by your fucking self.

“Now, I am moving along with some bad news.

“Now, there are more people out of work than ever before, right now today in the month of January of the new year. The work force was 151 million workers which had been viciously reduced by the unemployed 24 million federal workers. That leaves 127 million workers. I can say with sadness all the businesses will fire the old people that consist of the 80 million workers. So the number of 80 million workers from 127 million is 47 lucky folks with a working job that doesn’t include em. I am not getting paid. I guess that I was a federal worker but I am the leader of the free world that works for free.

“Now, that is not the problem.

“The real problem is that America own 24 trillion dollars to the other countries. So, how is that going to be repaid back to the foreign countries, so my paper report shows zero dollars? I have a great plan. I will explain my plan with math numbers. The current debt is 24 trillion dollars. But you and I both know that. There are 325 million people living within the USA. Now, when I divide 24 trillion dollars of debt money which is owned by 325 million people, I get $73,846.15 dollars. Each man, woman, teenager, child, toddler, infant, grandma, and grandpa owes $73,846.15 dollars to the USA to pay off the 24 trillion dollar debt to all the foreign countries of the world. So, we are going to work making and meeting that deadline first and foremost. O. I need to remove the populations of the US State of Hawaii which is 1.4 million and Alaska which is 740,000 in the population of people. So that is a total number of 2.1 million. The US States are not included in my new America. Sorry, Hawaii and Alaska! Your people and your government are on your own. So, if you live on the island and wanna come back to your home state, do it now. Now, the new debt amount for every single man, woman, teenager, child, toddler, infant, grandma, and grandpa is $74,303. Ugh! It went up. Don’t worry!

“However, I told you that everyone is a citizen of the US. So, we are going to add in the 11 million illegal aliens who are not true citizens of the USA. When I add 11 million to the 323 million, the number is 334 million people within the USA. So, the new US National Debt money amount is $71,856. So, it went down, sorta. Not to worry, I have a great new plan to save the USA.”

“Now, at this point, I would naturally ask the question too. How much money does the United States of America possesses inside the central bank? The answer is 46 million dollars of electronic money. You see? The USA does not possess real money only electronic money that comes and goes through the bank using a set of electronic transfers. Well, there is another answer that the United State of America doesn’t have any money. Since, all the income revenue from an individual taxpayer is 3.3 trillion dollars per year.

“However, some of the major USA expenses include every year 588 billion in military spending; 905 billion in social security payments; one trillion in health Medicare payments and 250 billion in debt interest on the borrowed 24 trillion dollars. That does not include other federal government programs like food stamps and welfare checks and free telephones, and whatever. Well, you can hear and calculate within your mind that 3.3 trillion dollars does not begin cover the yearly annual spending. So, this is why the United States of America borrows money to cover our yearly expenses.

“So, how much money from all workers, retirees, and business bank account is located inside any and all US banks? That is a trick question which has two parts. The first part, the answer is 5.2 trillion dollars of actually touching dollar bills and rounded pieces of silver coins and copper pennies which circulate around the US and some parts of the world. The second part, the answer is all electronic monies that make up a saving account and money market accounts inside any and all US banks is 55 trillion dollars,” she waved both arms into the air with a smile and a nod.

She dropped both arms down into the fur coat with a smile and a nod. “Now, we have the correct answer. The people of America have enough money to pay back all the 24 trillion dollars to all the countries of the world. However, the 55 trillion dollars belong to the people and the business of America, not the USA entity. Me as your new President of the USA can’t take or steal or borrow or beat people up and grab all their hard earned money. That is a Bible sin. That is an un-American act. But the USA has to pay out the 24 trillion dollar debt and balance the budget to zero point zero.

“Who is going to pay a salary for the new militia? How are we going to pay the 24 trillion dollars back to all the countries of the world? I can read your mind. You cannot as the worker. I told you before that you will not pay out taxes from your upcoming new paycheck.

“I am going to tax all the businesses for most of the 24 trillion dollars. I snap my fingers right now. There! I have frozen all the bank accounts of every single US and international business. No financial person of any US or international business cannot access the bank account, because I am going to tax the cash inside the bank accounts at thirty percent. All the collected new cash money will come into a giant fund to pay off the 24 trillion dollars that the American people own to the foreign countries. Every hour of the fucking day, all I heard was that the Americans bitched that a business does not paid their fair share of US taxes. I agree. Now, I am doing something about it.

“The 55 trillion dollars represent both the bank accounts of the business and the individual. I am not going to take money from the individual. The hard working USA citizen has been fucked over and over too many times. So, each business entity is going to pay me thirty percent of the current balance inside the bank accounts.” She lifted up and wiggled the piece of paper with a smile. “You see? I did all this mathematical work ahead of time like a good student right after I was selected the new president of the United States of America. I also contacted all my current cabinet members of my new presidential office, who stand beside and behind me. So, I am saving the USA. Thus, this is how I am saving it. I am also taking thirty percent US taxes from all business entities that currently reside within the USA which includes the churches, the hospitals, the charity foundations, and universities, and all the other charity marked institutions too. The IRS doesn’t exist now. So every business is a working business with bank accounts and workers.

“When you attended church, you donated your money or cash or check. The church used the money for various reasons that ain’t my business. However, I have found that some churches possess bank accounts of millions and millions of dollars which will be grabbed by me to help pay off the 24 trillion dollars. After the church pays the thirty percent to me, the church can do whatever with the rest of the bank account monies. However, if I was member of that particular church that had lots of money that could pay thirty percent taxes of real cash to me, then I would wanna find out and know how much money is inside the bank account. Geez! Wake up, people and smell the burn candle wax on the floor!

“Now, you can continue to donate money and time to your personal church. Then, the church can buy a set of tubes of food for numerous hunger mouths or a set of cleaning items for the shitty toilets. Or the church can give the money away to the poor people. Or the church can deposit back it into the bank account. However, this time moving forward, a church must paid thirty percent all of banked money into that same or new back account back to the USA. That is how we are going to pay the new militia for your safety. Now, in real time, what is more important your safety to live and thrive with your family members until the day you pass into heaven or hell or the money that you wanna give to the church for whatever? You decide, not me!

“Okay. Are we clear? A church collects money every Sunday for something. Do you as a church person know what the church does with your money? Now, I don’t give a shit with your answer or church’s answer. Now, the church will pay the United State of America thirty percent of collection monies. I am reminding the church of that new rule of the new America. The monies usually come from your personal income like a salary with a company. The question: Do you want me to continue to tax your personal income? Or do you want me to tax the church’s income? Since no fucking person on the entire planet knows where that money is spent, maybe the paid accountant. You do understand that church functions like a business with paid employees to count the money checks, to clean the shitty toilets, and to preach the Bible lesson. Geez! I do not recall that Brother Jesus was paid to teach his Bible lessons.

“Thus, all Americans are going to walk in the footsteps of Brother Jesus. Now, as a church person you can pay a donation or not pay. If not, will the church kick your ass from the cushiony pew and down into the street for not paying a dime to the church? We shall see. Now, the church is not going to receive one tiny ounce of power electricity from transforming lines or one drop of fresh clean water from the pipes. Why? The water and electricity is free for a US citizen. If the church wants to pay for electricity power and water, the church administration can use the bank account monies that are stored and collected from the church people. Or they and the church people can wear a sweaty T-shirt and a pair of naked toes. Or the church can dig a well for water.

“The same concept will apply to every business, including the hospitals, the charity foundations, and any business entity that holds a bank account. All bank accounts will be taxed at thirty percent to me as the new president of the United States of America, every single year.”

“You can get mad and boo, hiss, and even throw a set of objects.” A banana peel hit the clear glass. She laughed. “I am standing behind a tall transparent clear glass wall that you can’t see, asshole. Geez, some folks are really stupid. The banana peel missed me. Now, I press this button.” A pair of wipers lifted up from an internal compartment and wiped off the sticking yellow tinted banana peel. She laughed again. “Technology rules over fools!”

“Now, since everyone is equally frustrated or amused, I will continue with the bad news.

“After grabbing thirty percent of the bank accounts from all businesses, including hospitals, charity foundations, and universities, and churches, I am still short with the total amount of 24 trillion dollars,” she nodded with a frown. “Look! The math is very simple here. Fifty percent of all the existing money bank accounts of both the people and the businesses is 27.5 trillion dollars. I can’t take it all. I chose to take thirty percent only which is a fair tax assessment. So, thirty percent of 55 trillion is only 16.5 trillion, including individual bank accounts and businesses. So, I am so really short. The entire amount of the 55 trillion made up eighty percent of all businesses which is 13.2 trillion dollars that I could grab. Actually, I have alright grabbed the loot,” she lifted both arms and pointed to the side of the podium with a nod and a smile. The audience had stopped with the sound and stared at the new president of the United States.

“At the moment, I would like to introduce my team of expert hackers, who are sitting behind another set of glass transparent shielding behind a desk. They will not stand since they are too busy hacking into all bank accounts for me. Hacker number one, two, three, four, five, and six. They possess a laptop to access the free internet sound waves and surf, grabbing the collection of thirty percent of each business account. But it is not enough, dear Americans. Now, I need more.

“So, when I recalculate the new US National Debt, it is now 10.8 trillion dollars that needs to be collected, not by blood but body sweat. The amount is $32,335.00 per man, woman, teenager, child, toddler, infant, grandma, and grandpa. How will that amount be collected?

“Now, I am not going to rob your personal bank account or personal paycheck. But I have some very bad news to share with the old and new Americans here within the USA. Since so many people are outta work, the price of food has increased. A loaf of bread is six dollars right now. A gallon of milk is ten dollars right now. I am so sorry. But, food is important to live. Air is free. Water is free. A smile is free. A handshake is deadly.

“Now, let us summary. There is not anymore collection of federal and state income taxes. There is not a Congress. There are no judges for justice which has eliminated the need for the sleazy ass lawyers. You can’t sue anyone but you can shot anyone that tries to steal from your person or your house. Everyone is an American, but every American owes money to the USA which is $32,335.00 per man, woman, teenager, child, toddler, infant, grandma, and grandpa.

“Now, this is the issue.

“Now, I want some more bad news. I am cutting off all imports into the USA. There will be no more oil barrels from the country of Middle East. So, take that, the countries, the princes, the princesses, the sheiks, and the towel-heads of the Middle East! Fuck off! See ya’ll never. So, now the price of gasoline has increased to $25.00 per gallon. I am glad. Now, every single American needs to share a carpool for work or walk in a pair of sneakers or steer a bicycle or ride a mule. Brother Jesus rode a mule. It didn’t seem to bother Him.

“Now back to the issue at hand, how are you going to pay the $32,335.00 per citizen? And our new friends all the illegal aliens, who are US citizens now, must pay me the same amount too. Now no one gets a discount. Now, there are some billionaires and millionaires and thrifty nifty smart people who have stored tons of monies inside a personal bank account for a rainy day. Right now, it is pouring down a hurricane with bolts of lighting and thunder which is make-believe, folks. To each rich family unit, you can go back to your bank and get a wad of cash money in 32, 335 dollars from the bank manger in the form folding dollars and coinage and present to any of my donation centers, paying off your personal debt. The bag of money will be counted out loud to ensure the right amount, if it takes all day and night, also. I employ a gang of accountants, too.

“To the other folks, I have a new plan.

“Now, some people do not have $32,335 inside a bank account for an emergency, much less to pay me for the debt that you own the USA. And the $32,335 represents an individual payment for your wife, your husband, your son, your daughter, your grandma, your grandpa and all the members of your family unit, not the dog.

“So, how do you pay me? I have a new plan. First, each person is going to be registered into a genetic bank which is like a money bank account but it is stored by a prick of your personal blood on a glass slide. Genetics is the study of the human body. A genetic test is the extract of a body part to analyze the genes or the DNA. You are going to donate your blood and it will be stored into the new genetic bank which is going to be located and guarded with arms soldiers inside the Capitol Building foreverly, since there is no Congress anymore. The genetic bank will record who has paid the $32,335 or who has not.

“This is how the procedure will work. I am going to be the first person loaded into the genetic bank.” She lifted the tiny bag and wiggled the object near a smile. “This bag contains my $32,335 dollars in the form of five hundred dollar bills. It takes sixty four five-hundred dollar bills to create 32,000 dollars. There are also three hundred dollar bills, a twenty dollar bill, a ten dollar bill, and a five dollar bill. I don’t trust anyone. So you don’t trust me. Can I have a hateful audience member come up here and double check my money? The money came from my personal bank account also. I have a folded a copy of my bank statement inside the paper bag with my personal withdrawal for your eyeball verification. You, ma’am! You are drooling mouth spit over both snarling lips with a pair of folded fists. Could you please come up and verify my money amount? The entire world is watching you perform the count in silence, of course. I am still talking,” she motioned the middle age woman.

The woman shuffled through the crowd and marched up the side steps, moving across the elevated platform into a single desk. She sat down and opened the paper bag, counting ou the money in silence.

A young girl stood upright from the back row of chairs and moved ahead to the back spine of the president, standing in place in silence. The president dropped both arms down into the fur coat with a smile and a nod, pulling off the glove, exposing a naked hand to the audience. “Okay. That is underway. I am confident that I have the right amount of money to pay off my debt to the USA. Now, my new medical cabinet member of my presidential office is going to prick my naked and warm finger. Do it!” The female shuffled ahead and next to the president and reached out, grabbing the index finger of the president and stabbed the sharp tip of the new needle into the naked skin in silence. The president yelled in pain, “Ouch! It stings. The medical cabinet member is squeezing the naked finger. My finger is cooperating and producing bubbling red blood. She is smearing the glass slide with my blood protein specimen. She is capping the glass with a second slide to secure the blood protein. Now, she is done. I am placing my glove back into my exposed hand. Now, she is going to place the glass slide into the portal machine that is really a sophisticated computer. The computer will read my blood protein sample. And it is snapping a picture of my pretty face too. Now, I have been registered a citizen of USA without a driver’s license, a birth certificate, a money bribe, a photo passport, or any other form of physical identification. Blood cannot be duplicated or replicated or manufactured by mankind. It is a unique gift from Almighty God. He only knows the formula,” she laughed. “Now, I am inside the new genetic bank of the USA. But, to ensure that it is me inside the computer, the computer took my picture right here. The same procedure will apply to each one of you, also. Now, the medical cabinet member will record one of my ten digits, a finger print. Each one of our finger prints is unique and different which is also another gift from Almighty God too.

“The medical cabinet member has selected the middle finger of my left hand. I am slowly pressing down the middle finger pad of my left hand into a piece of metal that is attached to the portal genetic bank machine. I feel the heat and a tinkle. I lift up my middle finger on the left hand. Now, my unique and personal finger print has been recorded and stored beside my blood protein specimen and my payment of $32,335 for the debt of the USA to the other countries. I am recorded and done. Thank you, medical cabinet member,” she nodded with a smile to the young girl and turned with a sneer to see the red colored frozen nose profile of the middle aged woman. “Did you count up my money inside the paper sack, bitch?”

The bitch with the red frozen snot outside both nostrils looked up with a sneer to see the president. “Yeah, it’s right.”

The president nodded with a growl. “Thank you, bitch! You may leave my eye sight and my presidential podium.” The bitch stood upright with a snarl at the new president and moved back down into the audience. The president turned and lifted both arms with a smile and a nod to see the audience. “Now, I am the first person inside the genetic bank. But I have more good news. First, each person must register with a blood protein sample, a photo picture session, and a finger print inside the genetic bank.” The audience sounded with a set of boos, hisses, and shouts. She waved both arms with a smile and a nod. “Now, be nice to each other. I don’t care if you hate my guts. I am here to save America, the home of the brave and the land of the free. So, I don’t give a shit about your opinion of me. Actually, fifty one percent of Americans like me. First, each person must register with a blood protein sample, a photo picture session, and a finger print inside the genetic bank. My microphone is loud and clear along with my voice. If you do not register within the week by Friday, then your heat and water will be cut off. You are not required to pay the $32,335 yet. I know that some of you do not have all the money and there is not a payment plan either. However, if you can pay all the money in one lump sum then you should do. Why? Because the food prices and the gas prices are going higher, you need to save your money for food.” The audience sounded with a set of boos, hisses, and shouts.

“Now, this is the new plan. If you don’t have $32,355 hanging around for fun, then you will go back to your working current job and you will work your shift. Then the employer provide you will a bag of cash that is equal to your work week of employment, you will come to one of the numerous local registration centers. A registration center will be manned by numerous non-paid presidential team members. You will present the bag of cash. Then your bag of money will be reduced down from $32,335 until the amount is zero point zero.” The audience sounded with a set of boos, hisses, and shouts.

“Now, each member of your family has to pay the $32,335, including newborn infants, not the dog. Now, if you wanna kill off some of your immediate family members to avoid paying the $32,335, then go for it. Right now, protection is your business. If you or your family member tries to rob some person, some house or someplace but your personal home, the other person might get mad and kill you dead. There are no more police officers. As a matter of fact, all the police officers are interviewing for the new militia jobs. You can interview for a military job, too. However, if you can’t fly a plane or get seasick on a ship or can’t shoot a gun, then fucking forgot about it.

“Now, if you have a new infant, the infant has to be registered in the genetic bank. But, the infant is not responsible for the $32,335, if the baby is born today or tomorrow or next week or next month or a year from today. The $32,335 is calculated on the alive and breathing set of individual USA citizens right now.

“Now, if you have a nice mama or a nice aunt that wants to pay your share of the $32,335, then do it. It does not matter where the bag of money comes from. If you plan to steal it, be careful or be dead,” she laughed.

“Now, back to your job for paying off the $32,335, the bag of cash is based on your current job pay. This is why there will be no collection of taxes which will be taken out from your paycheck. Yes, you must give the entire paycheck each week. Now, you are getting paid each week. The bag of money is coming from your employer. The employer is getting the money from its bank account. Yes, the employer will be making decision about which employees to employ and to fire.

“Now, every the president of your company must pay the $32,335 and must register into the genetic bank. I will have a team of presidential members, who are not paid, come around and census the house within their own community. You will be registered and finger prickled and finger printed this week. There is a local registration center near you. If you refuse, you and your family will be exhibited with an individual rope burn from the tallest tree in your yard or maybe the city hall for your fucking ass defiance. I will not be doing that to you and your family. Your fucking neighbors will be taking care of that for me as you refuse to conform to the new America. So, fuck you!”

“Now, let us summary. You have a job, maybe. You have a family, definitely. You have $32,335 debt, fuckingly. Now, a child or an infant cannot work or go to work or get a job. You must pay for the child or the infant. So, I would start paying the debt of a child first. After each child is paid for, you can start paying for your person. Now, your paycheck of money in a paper bag is coming to me from your employer. This is okay. This is fine. Your electricity and water is free at home. Your house and car is free. The price of gasoline is high. So, you start to carpool or start jog or start to walk to work for the bag of money, honey.

“Now, what is the most important element of living? Ya give up! Good! It is clean air which is free. It is clean water which is free. It is food which is going to be free from me. Since I am getting your paycheck for a number of weeks, you will receive free bags of food.

“Let me back up with the employment job thing! A company needs employees to function, working the equipment, running the computers, cleaning the floor, and other stuff. This is another lesson of basis supply and demand of free trade. You are the slick supplier, the worker. They are the damn demander, the company. The company will select and keep the employees that it needs. There will be a lot of people outta of work. But that is okay.

“Now, when you come to the registration center with the bag of money, you need to know which family member the money is being applied too. Hint: you cannot split up the money either. Pick you or your child? Then, if you pick the child, you must bring the child to the registration center where the bag of money will be applied. Then the finger print of the child will be recorded into the genetic bank.

“So, do you see how this is going to work with you and the genetic bank? The finger print is logged with the face and the name of the child. When the bag of cash is applied to the child, then a finger print is also pressed onto the metal and recorded on the same day of the bag of cash. Thus, this will eliminate any type of ID thief and fraud through the computer. I am not really worried. Since every person is recorded with a finger print and a blood protein specimen. It would be impossible to duplicate the two factors together. Unless of course, you killed the child and then ripped the child’s finger digit and brought the bloody finger print with you into the registration bank. So, the beauty of the procedure, a thief does not know which digit was used to record inside the genetic bank,” she laughed. “Yes, I am a genius.

Now, each family member is recorded inside the genetic center. Now, once each employed family member has recorded the bag of cash, the family can go to the supermarket and get a bag of free food. There is not coupon or ribbon or identification. The supermarket will access the electronic records to see if employed family member has paid the weekly bag of money. If not, no food, honey!

“Once the bag of money is verified for each working family unit, you will be escorted around the supermarket with a nutritionist. She or he will select all your family unit groceries which will be free and based on your blood protein diet. There will be lots of vegetables, fruits, breads, limited amount of meats, and very limited sugary sweets inside one single buddy of groceries. The food is very expensive and has to be shared. However, you can use your personal bank account and purchase whatever your heart desires. The supermarket will only take cash or the free marker into the computer.

“Don’t bitch! This happens currently now for any working family. You work for money. You pay for food that you can afford. It is the set of lazy assholes who don’t work that are fat and obese. Now, the lazy fat asshole will lose weight or die trying. And I don’t give a fucking care.

“Now, all the working people at the grocery store are being paid a bag of cash like you. All the people at your office building are being paid like you. Throughout the USA, all the working people are being treated and paid like you. Now, what happens if you lose your good paying job? Because, your employer is an asshole. Yeah, that will happen to some people, not all. I have good news.

“Now, how I am paying for the militia? My team of presidential members is a group of people who fucking care about their country and countrymen and women. They have the money to pay the $32,335 for their families and extended family members and some friends. But each one of them is working without pay. Each one of them is helping me and fucking ungrateful you save the USA. Each one of them has taken on the leadership role within their own community and nearest city.

“When you return home or if you are at home, there is a presidential team member who is organizing a set of crime watch sessions, teaching security programs, and other protection measure for you and your protection. You follow them or you don’t. I don’t care.

“Now, if you lose your job, don’t worry about it. I am a new plan. I have established donation centers. The registration centers are manned and run by my devoted presidential team members who love their country and their countrymen and women and want to save America. Now, the donation center is a place where used stuff lives. Here in present day America, we do not make anything. We buy everything. That is about to stop, since there are not more imports into the USA. So, if you have something broken, you can donate it into the donation center, the clever name. Then the donation center will fix it and give for free to someone that wants it. The donation center needs people to work on stuff with your hands and your brains to fix stuff. So, you can apply to any donation center within your local community. There are numerous donation centers that will receive and give free stuff from bicycles to refrigerator. Now, everything is going to be reused and refurnished and then reused again. Nothing is going to be wasted. Every piece of bent metal will be re-heated. Every piece of used wood will be re-nailed. Every piece of glass will be re-blown. So, if you don’t have a job and want one, then you can apply and hope that you qualify. I preface my statement. Times are tough in America. The employed person will use both the hands and the brains. It is nice that you’re smart. Then, you can re-trained. If you are dumb, your hands can be re-trained. If your hands can’t do the work and your mind can’t find it out, then you can just get a free gun from the donation center with a purchased bullet from an ammo store and end your life,” she laughed.

“Now, any and all unemployed persons will work for the donation center or the equivalent structure and get paid a bag of cash which will go to the registration center like you. Warning: the donation center will test your skills with the verbal words from your lying tongue. A lying tongue comes from the Bible. If you are too dumb and fail the skills test, then you can work for the other place, the work place. Yeah, it is a silly name with a math number for simplicity. There are numerous work places with a math number. The work place is responsible for cleaning up the city and county roadways, cutting the city street grass, the trimming the roadway trees, and all types of other work that the people at the donation and registration centers don’t wanna do, since they are smartasses with a set of smart neurons.

“Now, all this seems to go to be true. It is not. It is all true and happening right now.

“Now, honesty is the new number one working policy within the new America. However, people are not honest. They are lazy and crooked and smelly and scheming for free stuff and to do nothing in this world. That is not going to happen here.

“The most important part that I have to tattle to all of you, this week is the homeless.

“Now, the homeless people are pitiful. I feel so sorry when I see one. I give money and a bottle of warm water. Now, they are part of the United States of America. Believe it or not! They belong into someone’s family unit. Yes, indeed! I do believe that you know what I am talking about. All the homeless people will be rounded up and herded like cows into a building. Then, they will be registered with a smear of blood protein specimen into the genetics bank. Then, the smart genetics of my presidential cabinet will find the next of blood-kin. Then, the family of homeless person will take care or bury the bastard. You can pick your neighbors, not your family members. If you have a problem, take it to Almighty God. He created you and your homeless kinfolk.

“Now, a death of a family member brings up a good discussion point. If a family member dies within the next six months like now from today, then the family unit is not responsible for the $32,335. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, at the end of the nine months, I should see how many monies have been collected. Now, if there is a death in the family, you need to come to the registration center and report it with a death certificate. Within your community unit, there will be a designated physician to verify a death person and then issue you a real paper death certificate. You bring only the paper death certificate t the registration center, not the dead body. You must bury the dead body at the church grounds. Now, I don’t care how a dead body dies. It is dead. There will not be a police investigation, since there is not a police department anymore.

“Let us summary! There are not more income taxes to maintain the US Federal government. The US federal government is gone. It is the United States of America which is you and me. There are not anymore police for your personal protection. That is your personal problem. But you can get a free gun from the donation center. However, all the ammo must be paid by cash or gold nuggets before it can be purchased. If you accidentally or purposefully shoot and kill someone other than a family member, you will shoot by the angry mama or daddy or sister or brother or grandma or cousin. Period! The law is westernized by me.

“Each American must give a smear of blood and be registered into the genetic bank and press a finger print into the computer to stop all identify thief. Each American works a job to pay back the $32,335 which is due right now. If unemployed, you can get a job at the donation center or the work place today or tomorrow. The good news, a teenage at the age of fourteen years old and up can start working also to help the family unit pay back each member’s $32,335 debt immediately like today.

“Now, there are presidential cabinet members who will be recording where you live and how many people live in your family. They will come around and often. If you are hiding family members and I find out, you will pay for that family member. The only exemption is a newborn baby that has been born today and future days.

“Now, I need to explain the free buggy of food that comes from the supermarket. I am so clever. At the end of your work week, you and all the other working members of your family will go to the registration center and give them the bag of cash. The cash will be recorded along with the finger print of the paying family member. For example, if you decide each paycheck will pay off the debt for the toddler first, you must bring the toddler to the registration center. The bag of cash and the pressed finger print will register the toddler for the work week. Now, there is going to be plenty of time for all this. The registration center will be open twenty four hours and even days per week. Your company will be working twenty four hours per day. I promise. Because, gasoline will be high and transportation will be very slow.

“Now, you and your working spouse, and your working teenager have paid the weekly ransom to me. And each one has pressed a finger print into the heated metal for registration. Now, you can go to the supermarket for a buggy of free food. Now, if you and your working family members do not give the bag of cash and do not press a finger print into the heated metal at the registration center, then the computer will know. Computers talk to each other. And the finger print cannot be duplicated, because the ID thief will not know which one of the ten prints the family member used. Then, the ID thief would have to replicate every single finger digit of every single family member. That would be labor intensive and highly suspicious while discovering the computer thief.

“Now, the bag of cash and the finger print is registered. You go the supermarket and walk around with your nutritionist for the free food. When your buggy is filled, you will advance to one of the checkout counters. Each food item will be scanned, since the computer needs to reorder for the supermarket. After each food item is completed scanned, the register will calculated a price amount for payment, but the family unit will into pay. This is so cool! The family unit will present the same registered finger print onto a larger piece of heated metal and press the finger print down into the soft metal. Then, the metal will quickly dry. Then, the metal slab will be pushed into the side slot. Then, the cash register will verify each finger print of each family unit,” she nodded with a giggle. The audience sounded with amusement.

“Then, if each finger print matches the computer, the family unit will help load up the groceries and leave the store with a buggy of free food. Now, who is paying for the free buggy of food? There again, some of my president cabinet members are very rich. They are paying for the buggies of purchased groceries. So why doesn’t the gang of generous presidential cabinet members not pay the outstanding money portion of each American citizen? Because the American citizen must learn that nothing ain’t free here, folks. You work. You get paid. You use the money to exchange for something. Your grand parents, your parents, your uncles, your aunts, and the older generation have allowed the accumulation of the 24 trillion dollars of debt, not you and not me. So, go and bitch at them!

“It is easier to pay for a free buggy of food and not waste the food, then to pay a person who wastes their time and your time. There is your answer. Now, inside the supermarket, all you family members must come and must present a finger print. If all your family members do not come, then no free buggy of food. If you forget to register a family member, no free buggy of food. Now, if there is a new illegal alien that crosses the border into the USA, that person is now responsible for the $32,335 outstanding debt payment. If that person is caught, then the family unit will assume the debt and the protection of the new American citizen.

“Now, the rate of pay at the donation center will start out at ten dollars per hour. Boo! That is not fair. However, the person will be tested. If the person passes, then the experience of the person will be evaluated with a simple illustration. If the car is broken, a talented mechanic can fix it. If the car is still broken, the person is not a mechanic. Then, the pay scale of the talented individual will be increased to help pay off the 10.8 trillion dollars that I am missing from the kitty pot. Thus, your talented hands will be very rewarding. Your smart neurons will be rewarded also. If you don’t posses neither, tough shit!

“Now, how long will it take to pay reach the 10.8 trillion dollars? I do have an answer. Right now, the current revenue income that is collected from 151 workers is 3.3 trillion dollars. Thus, the average worker contributed into the US federal government $21,500 or so in US dollars.

“However, everyone is going to be working now like you and me.

“Remember? When I was rattling off about there are 325 million people within the population of the USA. USA. USA. I love saying that. There are 151 workers who had worked and paid income taxes from a paycheck. Now, I am releasing and closing down all the jail houses, since there is not any more police department. So, if you were hurt by a jailed convict, you betta get a gun or a knife fast.

“So, the new group of all working people has greatly increased to pay off the 24 trillion dollars of debt. Let us add up the totals now.

“There are the 151 workers. There are the prison inmates of 2,000,000, who will work or be rounded up with the homeless people and then assigned back into a family unit. The number of US veterans is 21,000,000, who wanna work. The number of kids in school is 54,000,000. The number of US retirees is 51,000,000, who might wanna work or not. The total number of people on welfare is 47 million, who will be working. Yeah! The only group of people not working is the number of kids in school which is 54,000,000.

“Now, this is a fast and swift mathematical calculation here. Because you know and I know that some people are not able to work but wanna. Some people will refuse to work which is the family unit’s problem, since the family unit will each owe $32,335 per member. And some family units will get mad and kill off some cousins to avoid paying the $32,335 outstanding debt.

“Then, 151 million plus 2 million plus 21 million plus 51 million plus 47 million equals 272 million individual will be working for a paycheck each week. Then the paycheck will be converted into money. Then the bag of cash will be registered into the genetic bank to pay off each family member for the 10.8 trillion dollar debt which I am missing.

“Now, the average medium income salary is 30,000 dollars which I got from the US Debt Clock page on the internet from the US federal government. So, if I calculated 272 million workers times an average of 30,000 dollars per year, then the amount is 8.16 trillion dollars. Yeah, this is good. An average is the middle of high and low numbers. So, I am optimistic that the USA will reach the 24 trillion dollar by the first of December right before Christmas time.

“Awe! I will be so nice to celebrate the birth of Brother Jesus without the annoying commercials and blinding red and green lights and the numerous materialize materials that Brother Jesus don’t care about.

“Now, this is my last message to all the new and old American citizens. How will I know that every person will conform and do my binding as the new President of the Untied States? Ah! The answer is so easy. Each individual laptop inside the registration center is battery operated. I love advanced technology. The staff has a set of bright flashlights and a pile of warm clothing. I love old technology. There are battery operated heaters also. Each American will report and record your person with a blood protein specimen and a finger print imprint right now. You have the rest of the week. But I can’t guarantee your personal cooperation either. So I am cutting off all electricity power to your individual place of residence and every single building structure throughout the USA, right now…”

The microphone went dead.

The new President of the United States of American waved both arms with a smile and a nod to the stunned new and old citizens of the USA. Then the citizens sounded with a series of yells, screams, cries, curses, boos, hisses, claps, giggles and laughs. She back stepped with a grin from the podium and slowly turned, moving ahead into the heated Capitol Building with an evil laugh.

Some of the assigned presidential cabinet members stood in place with a hand gun and monitored the scattering crowd of US citizens. Some of the other members turned and followed beside her a set of evil laughs and soft whispers.




Save me, Save America!

The Prez

Introducing the first female President of the United States of America... She stands on top of Capital Hill giving her first speech to all and every America. You can listen to her words and celebrate her good tidings to all and every American too, since you are an American now.

  • ISBN: 9781370716937
  • Author: Ipam
  • Published: 2016-11-02 15:05:09
  • Words: 14669
The Prez The Prez