Copyright 2015 Aishling Wray
You know when you think you are the only one that matters in the universe?
What if you were?
I saw her face at a disco. She had light blonde hair that shot down to her waist and light blue eyes that just stared right back at me.
Before she left.
I followed the girl outside, chasing after her into the street to ask why seeing her face had scared me so much.
But when I opened the door to the club, she was gone.
I panted there, annoyed at myself. Great, I probably came off as some stalker… which would be weird… considering I was also a girl.
Still, I had just looked ahead of me on the dance floor and there she was, looking at me. As if she was glowing, waiting to be seen, and I had just let her go without asking.
Who are you?
I turned back to the club and re-entered back in, meeting my boyfriend and friends on the dance floor.
A couple of nights later I was giggling as I played with my boyfriend’s hands in my room. I had just got shared accommodation with my college freshman friends, and me and Jasper just chuckled to each other as we talked and kissed on the bed.
“So, getting excited about starting?” he asked, with a soft smile and soft blue eyes, and I just laughed confidently.
“Er, yeah! But I’ll go brilliant. Haven’t I gotten A’s in everything?”
“Yeah, you have…” he said, looking so much in love at me. Probably thinking how was he able to snag such a great girl.
Because I was great.
While everyone else’s lives fell apart around them, mine had always gone smoothly. I got the guy of my dreams when I was thirteen, had hundreds of friends and had gotten honours in all my subjects.
I was studying in music, and would probably become a world famous musician… It was just my luck.
He left after a while to go to his own place and I laid back on my bed. I grinned like an idiot, an amazing idiot, but got up when I heard my phone beep and looked at my email app to see I had gotten a new message.
I rarely got emails, mostly just messages on Facebook or texts…
I raised an eyebrow up confused, and touched my finger tip to the screen, reading what the message said.
Do you remember me, Katie?
I blew out a bit of air from the side of my mouth, in a big smirk. Was this anonymous message meant to scare me?
I replied back.
Who ever this is, sorry, but I have no idea who you are and nor do I want to.
I put my phone down and just pulled my laptop over, placing it on my lap and watching the latest TV show of my choosing.
But the phone beeped again and I groaned annoyed, as I looked at the email to see it say.
That’s a shame, cos’ I remember you.
Oh, this weirdo remembered me, is that how this would play?
I tapped the text with hard fingers as I did not like being stalked (Though I stalked facebook all day long myself- but that was obviously different.)
I don’t know you. Are you trying to scare me or something? Go away.
I threw my phone into my bag once I had sent that email and just grumpily folded my arms. I looked back at my screen and took heavy annoyed breaths as I got back to watching my shows and was glad there was something to ease my mind.
Suddenly the screen went black and I looked surprised at it, my mouth opening as- NO! This couldn't be happening- no internet!
Less than a second later, a girl appeared on it… and I stared at her.
The blue eyes and blonde hair. The girl said softly.
“Er…” I said, a bit freaked out and responded back in a scared peep, “Hey.”
She smiled at me for a second, before the screen went black again and flicked back to my show. Noise from the show played out like it had done before and I sat on my bed, breathing quickly in and out in panic.
“What the hell!” I yelped, closing my lid and putting my computer on my nightstand. I sat there, breathing heavily in fear for a few minutes before pulling my blankets over me, begging to myself.
“Just go to sleep, Katie…”
The words echoing in my head.
“Go to sleep.”
I woke the next morning, my eyes groggy… my world piecing itself back together and got out of bed to head for the kitchen.
I ate my breakfast. I brushed my teeth. I left to meet up with friends.
As I walked down the street I heard a voice say to me as I passed somebody, my eyes to the ground.
“Look up, it’s a beautiful day.”
“It’s cold and windy and-” I didn’t realize I was responding to a stranger and glanced my eyes up to see who had passed me but no one was there. I blinked my eyes, puzzled. Something weird was going on… and I wasn’t the one in on the joke.
I met up with Cassie and Liz and talked to them as we drank sodas in the college grounds.
“I think someone spiked my drink the other night.”
“Why?” Cassie asked, her voice tired and whimsy like usual.
“Because I saw something freaky on my computer.”
“Sweetie, it’s the internet.” she said back with a laugh, “It’s always messed up.”
“Ha, Ha…” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes barely, “No.” I explained, “I mean… something weird happened, like someone hacked it.”
“Like a stalker?” Liz said, and I gave a sarcastic smirk.
“No, Liz. Well… actually…?” I thought about it for a second, before shaking my head and replying back, discarding that thought. “No… I guess, I just imagined it.”
“You do day dream a lot.” Cassie said with a light laugh, and I gave a weak unamused grin.
I left my friends after a couple of hours to walk home. The weather was cold and windy, which was annoying for it was only August, and we had not had a proper summer.
“Hey, it’s you.”
I looked ahead of me on the lane that was between myself and my place, and inbetween was that girl.
Blonde hair. Blue eyes.
Just staring straight at me with a smile.
“Who are you?!”
Those were the only words that left my mouth.
The girl just smiled at me. She looked the same age as me, was the same height… her clothes flowing with soft colours of grey and white.
“Don’t you remember me?”
“You were on my computer!” I yelled, pointing my finger at her from the distance that was getting closer to closing. I would fight for my freedom if I had to, “You sent those emails!”
“Now, come on.” the girl said with a small laugh and put her pale hands on her hips, tilting her head, “You have no proof of that.”
"But you- just-!" I began in anger, my words not able to find themselves, and the girl just smiled at me, approaching me and reaching out her hand to shake mine.
“Are you stalking me?” I begged to know and she just continued, still smiling dumbly.
“Mmff!” I tightened my lips, stubborn that I wouldn’t give a reply. The girl just chuckled.
“Okay, okay… I’ll see you later.”
“WHO ARE YOU?!”
“I’d keep it down, everyone is watching us.” Grace said, still chuckling. I looked around me to see somehow there was a crowd of twenty strangers staring at us. I felt a kiss place on my cheek and I froze up, looking in horror at the girl as she had just done that out of no where.
"Ta, ta..." she said, and waved to me as she walked away. I was just about to chase her- chase her like I had done at the club. But as I turned to follow, people had already gotten in my way and she was gone.
I came into my house and just slammed the kettle on, making coffee to ease me- or wake me up, half and half?
Still, I was so frustrated and heard Maggie, my roommate, come in to the living/kitchen room.
"What's up with you?" Maggie asked with an amused laugh, and I glared at her, annoyed. Not annoyed at her but- you get the picture.
“Some village of the damned girl is stalking me! And my life was so great…”
“Yeah…” Maggie sympathized before flicking on the TV and murmuring, “Well, sucks to be you!”
“Is Sinead home yet?”
“Do you see her, Katie? Is she with us?” Maggie said, treating me like an idiot and loving it all the while.
“I just need someone to cry to,” I said, knowing Sinead was my crying buddy.
“What about your boyfriend?”
“He still believes I’m perfect… and I want him to keep believing.”
“Never lose the faith!” Maggie said, shooting her fist into the air as a sign of respect and I just giggled a little at that response.
I loved Maggie sometimes… and hated her just as much at others.
“Yep… never lose the faith… you’re atheist, right?”
We laughed and talked for a while, watching movies on netflix before Maggie said she was bored and left me.
Like I said, I hated her sometimes.
I was alone in the room and pulled my legs into my body, cradling myself in fear on the couch. I was afraid to be alone now because of all that happened, and my fears confirmed to be true as my phone rang. I answered the unknown phone number just to hear her voice.
“Hey? How’s things…?”
“Please stop stalking me.”
“Come on…” she said, a smile I could hear in her voice, like this was all fun and necessary to her. “You know you secretly like the attention.”
“Er… no… I don’t.”
“Liar, liar… stop lying, Katie.” she said with a sigh and I growled, about to throw my phone away, but she continued with an innocent voice.
“Listen, Katie… I just… I miss you is all…”
“You don’t know me.” I said in a scared whisper, not even giving myself a second to be confused by this. Grace just laughed. Though this time it was more broken and hurt.
“Right… I don’t know you… I’m not important… am I..?”
“Not to me…” I said, and she gave a small sigh.
“Not to you… right… when’s college starting?”
I kept my mouth shut stubbornly and afraid. I would not give her the honour of-
I swallowed, closing my eyes with anger.
“I’ll see you there.”
“Please leave me alone…” I said back in a scared whisper, tears now rising to my eyes and Grace just laughed.
She said to me.
“But don’t you know, Katie?”
The words whispered through the phone into my ear and I bit my lip, tears rolling down my cheeks as she said with such sad confidence.
“You’re the only one that matters in this universe…”
I hated her so much, and I felt my stomach hurt with how much hate that truly was.
And then she added before the phone went dead.
“At least… to me.”
I sat there as I heard a beep, beep, beep…
I put my phone down and was alone, sitting in silence in the living room, before Maggie came back in and said to me, waving a packet of condoms in the air.
“I’ve got a gift for you and Jasper!”
She grinned stupidly, before she saw my face and stopped, lowering the packet down with her hand and said in worry.
She looked with fear at me.
“don’t tell me you’ve already got some.”
I hated Maggie sometimes…
I went back and forth in steps in the living room as I explained with worry to Maggie.
“There’s this girl. She’s stalking me. I don’t know how but she got my phone number, my computer hacked and knows where I live.”
“O…kay?” Maggie said slowly, an amused smile on her lips as if she found this funny and I yelled frustrated at her.
“This is not funny!”
“Just call the cops? But I think you are just imagining it all.”
I opened my mouth, completely taken aback that she didn’t believe me.
“Well, can I check your phone?”
I swallowed, feeling upset that my words weren’t taken as true and nodded. I handed her my phone and she looked through the missed calls and emails.
“Katie…” she said, a silly grin on her face and held the phone’s screen towards me. “There’s nothing on here. No messages, and the most recent phone call was from your mum.”
“Has anyone been around when this girl contacted you?”
“A bunch of strangers when I was coming home… do you really think I’m imagining this?”
“No…” she said, her voice sounding like an obvious lie, “All I’m saying is that, maybe it’s a prank? I prank people all the time.”
“How old are you again?” I asked, upset that she didn’t believe me.
“Nineteen. But anyway, I’m hungry…” Maggie said, her eyes sparkling when she ogled a cake on the counter and squeed in childish glee, “Mmm…”
“Why won’t you help?” I begged and she just got up and ate her cake, my hands falling open in disbelief. I watched her gobble it down.
Sinead entered into the house a moment later, Jasper just behind her. I said desperately to them.
“Sinead, Jasper! …help.”
Jasper smiled softly at me as he came over to me and touched my back, comforting and being amazing like he always was.
“What’s wrong, Katie?”
“Some girl stalking her apparently…” Maggie said, her mouth full of cake as she took another bite and added, “Or something like that.”
“Have you called the cops?” Jasper asked and I shook my head, helpless and ashamed that I hadn’t.
“No point.” Maggie said, still stuffing her mouth. “No evidence to back it up.”
“Is this true?” he asked me and I nodded my head. He pulled a worried look and hugged me, saying. “Well I won’t leave your side.”
“Thanks…” I said in a whisper, feeling safe as I believed his words.
And Jasper was true to his promise as he stayed in my room with me that night, promising to sleep over.
I sat on my bed with him, my legs sitting in the meditative pose, my back arched a bit. I said with a giggle to him.
“No, he didn’t… did he?”
“Yeah, he really did.”
I laughed sheepishly as he told me of his exploits of the day with his friends in the science lab. He was starting at college couple a days before me. I just sighed, relieved from the happy mood coming back.
But the whole fear of that girl still hung over my head.
“Why do you think she’s trying to scare you?” he asked after a while, as we lay against each other in the bed, the heating on and keeping us warm.
“I honestly don’t know…” I said back bluntly, not having the slightest clue myself. “I didn’t have any enemies in high school, and I have never met her before.”
“And you say, you think it’s romantic?”
“Yeah,” I said, but just felt a little empty at that word. “She seems to have feelings for me.”
“Well, who wouldn’t…?” Jasper said, entwining his fingers with mine and I giggled, a little pleased to hear that. “You are just so lovable.”
“Maybe a little too much.” I responded, grinning, and he kissed me a few times on the mouth before pulling the blankets over us and getting ready for some sleep.
I felt whole and complete again, safe with him with me and snuggled into his strong arms. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
The next day I woke to see him shaking me. I looked slowly at him… myself tired and worn from sleep that was meant to replenish.
“I have to go to college.”
“You said you would stay?”
“I’ll be back after lectures.”
“Fine…” I said defeated, and he smiled at me before leaving. He closed my door and I sat in my bed, the fear quickly coming back.
I shivered there and cradled myself back and forth on my bed, a little scared to be left alone.
I didn’t want to leave the house that day… but felt safe no where and headed to the park to soothe myself… quite a stupid decision.
I didn’t bring anyone with me, was by myself and didn’t tell anyone that I had gone.
I could be dumb sometimes.
I froze when I felt a tap on my shoulder as I sat on a bench and blinked my eyes up, seeing blonde hair hang down from above me.
And that blonde hair of course belonged to… her.
“Hey,” she said.
I swallowed, and just pulled my legs up to me holding them, as I mumbled back. Not even afraid now, just giving up.
“You look scared?” she said and sat down beside me, but seemed hesitant herself in doing so.
“Of course I’m scared. You’re probably going to kill me or something.”
“Really, Katie..?” she said, a little sad to hear that belief I held. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Then tell me.” I begged, grabbing her arm to demand an answer. But felt nervous then when I touched her, “Why are you following me? Stalking me? I know I’m cool and all but-”
Grace just chuckled at that, looking at me as if endeared by what I said. She lifted my hand free of her arm, her skin soft, before saying.
“Katie, you are not cool…”
I opened my mouth slowly from hearing that and just mumbled out. “Why are you in love with me..?”
“I guess that was pretty clear…” Grace mumbled back and I just looked at her, my eyebrows low and myself determined to know.
“You don’t remember me… at all… do you?”
“No,” I said, and swore on that truth. I looked at her slowly, and she just hmph weakly with a weak smile, before looking at me and continued.
“That’s okay but… because you always forget…”
“Forget me…” she said sadly. She looked into my eyes, her blue ones soft and full of pain and just muttered, “But I can’t help missing you.”
“Did I know you as a child?” I asked, worried and confused. But somehow I could feel her pain, her sincereness. It was hurting me now seeing this girl pledge her heart and me honestly not having any recollection as to why.
“You knew me long before that…” she whispered, and gave the weakest of a smirk. Tired and feeling like there was no point in staying. She got up and pat me on the shoulder, barely even a touch. “I’ll… talk to you later.”
She left after that and I could hear the distant word of “Goodbye.” leave her mouth. She walked out of the park.
I watched her go, but got up and followed behind her in the distance. I decided to return the favour and stalk this girl back, even though I felt terrible every moment that I followed and watched her go down an alley way.
I peered out from the corner of a building I hid behind and my eyes just opened a little bigger when I saw her stare at a wall.
Before the wall vanished in airy fog and she walked through it to a green field. It’s dimension and space not even seeming to make sense in this world.
I ran over to where she had disappeared, to see that field but as I approached, the wall slapped me in the face. I stumbled back in pain and looked to see the wall had recovered itself in an instant. I rubbed my nose, hurt from the hit and just pressed my hand against the wall, feeling it was solid. I looked above it, to see it belonged to a tall building, which made even less sense that the wall had disappeared before.
Was I in a dream? This really made no sense. I looked at the old bricks of the thing that was blocking my way and just stepped back from it. Confused, lost, before going home.
For some reason I didn't fear that girl anymore- even though I had absolute cause to now.
No… instead, I wanted to understand her, and to understand how she was able to do this.
How she was able to hack my computer, ring my phone and… vanish a wall.
As I reached home I heard my roommates laughing inside, and I entered in to see them joking about. I saw Sinead and Maggie playing a game of cards on the centre coffee table.
“What’s going on?”
The two looked up at me, Maggie smiling brightly and super enthusiastically, as she said.
“Oh nothing, just that Sinead is moving out.”
I blinked, dumbfounded and said confused, “Huh?”
“That’s right!” Sinead said in a giggle and I could see her suitcase leaning against the wall, waiting to be taken out.
“But we just moved in-!”
“I won the lottery!” she said, laughing all the while. I stared at her. My eyes were as wide as the Grand Canyon, and I said, completely lost.
“Yes!” Sinead said, agreeing with whatever she thought she heard me say and got up, hugging me.
“Fifty million! I’m moving to the Bahamas!”
I stood there baffled. She hugged me so tightly, oblivious to my shock and worry, and let go of me, looking into my eyes as she said with a big smile.
“Well it was nice knowing you.”
She laughed as she said this, and she and Maggie went back to playing cards and laughing all the while.
Maggie was best friends with Sinead, but it still shocked me how everyone was so happy… how this could’ve happened.
Was the whole world going mad or was it just me?
A couple of men in black suits came over to the house later, escorting Sinead out. I heard her promise Maggie she’d give her a million. And she promised me she would write.
I watched as my roommate left and Maggie just whistled out a pleased tune as she skipped around the house. She said she would still stay on in college and would just use the money to cruise a bit in life.
Knowing Maggie, she probably meant it.
But she added to me as we drank tea that night, though she drank hers with a plastic straw- Maggie was weird like that.
“I knew she would win, she’s just so lucky and totally deserves it.”
“Aren’t you even slightly jealous… or shocked at the news?” I asked, my lips in a dazed smile and Maggie just sucked up the tea with her straw, giggling as she continued.
“Oh no, stranger things have happened. This is actually quite normal news, really.”
I looked at her, baffled some more. She added as she gave a big smile.
“But good news, we’re getting a new roommate.”
“Wait, we’ve already got one?”
“Yeah, Sinead said it was a girl she knew.”
“Don’t tell me her name is-”
“Grace.” Maggie said, closing her eyes simply with a sweet smile… more vindictive if anything.
I stared at her… just angry… just furious… just… confused.
What was going on in my life? This had to be a dream.
“Oh, her name is Grace. And Sinead knows her.” I said, nearly losing my mind and added with a strained slightly crazy voice. “Does she have blonde hair and blue eyes?”
“You know it!” Maggie laughed and I laughed back. I said in a burning voice.
Maybe I’d wake up in a second and see the world return to normal.
But for some reason, deep inside… I knew I didn’t want it to.
Grace moved into the house the next day. THE NEXT DAY.
I couldn’t believe it. I had stayed up the whole night awake for some reason. Well no… I knew the reason. Some sort of magical girl was moving into my house and was in love with me, and I had no idea why of any of these occurrences.
I woke up early that morning, as I was starting college this Friday and as I hit the alarm off on the side of my bed, I groaned, before jumping up to quickly leave the house so I wouldn't meet anyone- anyone being her.
I got changed, and while I put my top on I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and tried to squeeze my feet into my runners.
Runners because I was going to run away to College as fast as possible.
I came out of my room and just tumbled into a luggage bag that was in the hall. I looked at it, my eyes wide. I tried to make my way around it, but I heard Sinead’s old door open and there she was, standing there and looking at me with her arms crossed, a soft relaxed smile on her face.
“Oh, you were getting ready to leave?”
“You’re here!” I shouted, my voice half a squeak and half a roar. She just giggled at this, pulling her bag away into her room and coming out again to greet me.
The hall was really narrow and I saw her stand opposite me, the distance small between us. I pressed against my now closed door, breathing in and out quickly and uncomfortably.
“Are you okay… Katie?”
She asked the question with such care and concern it literally made me go nuts.
“Yes! I’m fine! The cops should be here this afternoon to take you away.”
“Tch tch.” Grace just said, making a disappointed sound with her tongue and looked at me, with warm eyes. “The police are not going to take me away.”
“Well then my boyfriend will fight you!”
Grace grinned, seeming to like my feisty speech and put her hands on her hips, tilting her head like I had seen her do before. I growled under my breath at this response.
“You’re boyfriend is not going to fight me.”
“He’s hit a girl before!”
“Katie, you really shouldn’t let someone hit you.” she said sweetly with concern. I just angrily sulked as I turned and stomped to the kitchen, Grace following.
She ate cereal like me, smiling at me whenever I glanced up at her from the other side of the round table. As I headed for college, she followed right behind me. Seriously, was no one going to help me..?
I reached the college grounds after twenty minutes of me walking in silence and Grace walking beside me, talking all the way as if we were having a conversation.
“So that’s when I realized, I wanted to be a famous musician, it would be just my luck…”
I hadn’t been listening but when she said this last bit, my eyes dropped open. I stared aghast at her, my mouth hanging open.
“What..?” Grace said with an innocent smile and I said in shock.
“I want to be a famous musician.”
“Well we can both work together when we make it in the world. We’ll have tonnes of time to collaborate seeing as we’re doing the same course.”
“Yeah, didn’t you know?”
I stopped walking, just before I entered into my first lecture and pulled out my timetable, Grace already having hers annoyingly ready. I grabbed it, looking at the two sheets and seeing we had exactly the same lectures and classes at the exact same times.
"You... me... same classes...?" I peeped, nearly fainting and Grace just gazed at me, as if dreamlike, like she was deeply in love with me- which apparently she was- and that I had returned her love- which I hadn’t.
“Hey, do you want to ditch today?” Grace asked with a grin, and I gasped, angry at that suggestion and just stormed into the lecture hall, saying.
As I entered into it I noticed that the hall was empty and it was just me and Grace in there, before I saw the janitor mopping the floor. I came over to him, tapping him on the shoulder and asking.
“Excuse me, where is the professor?”
“Lecture was cancelled for today.” He mumbled, and I just blinked a few times, trying to register the information in my brain but Grace just leant beside me, saying bored as she looked at her nails.
Though her voice was anything but.
“So I guess we can hang…”
I looked at her, feeling her arm resting on my shoulder, and I just dropped them, feeling hopeless and defeated as I pushed her away, saying.
“Okay, we’ll hang.” I looked at her as she tilted her head to me with a smile and that pissed me off so much. Why was she so obsessed with me?! “I have a few questions to ask you, anyway.”
Grace grinned and walked behind me as I left the hall and found a spot on the dry grass outside to sit down. She sat next to me, smiling warmly all the time, and pulled out a lunch box from her handbag, opening it and revealing a fruity bar.
“Here,” She said, handing it to me and I froze at the offer. I looked at it as it was held in her hand and pulled myself backwards away in fear from her, but she just giggled. “It’s strawberry, your favourite.”
“How did you know strawberry was my fav-”
“I know everything about you, Katie…” she said, and pulled out another bar for herself as I had taken mine in disbelief.
“Have you been stalking me my whole life?”
“No…” she said back, and ripped open the wrapper of her bar, revealing chocolate within, and looked seriously at me. Sad almost. “I’ve been trying everything in my life not to stalk you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… I just… I see your face everywhere…”
I stared at her confused, worried, but she continued.
“In my dreams, The face I see when I listen to our music… when I close my eyes just for a second. Everywhere.”
“How is this..?” I asked, lost in what she was trying to explain. She just smirked, small tears welling in her eyes and she wiped them calmly.
“Sorry… but unlike you… I can’t forget… and I’ve been trying.”
“Forget what!? Tell me!”
I looked upset now at her, as I did not like this talk. I did not understand it and said confused, wanting to know.
“I saw you move a wall. Make it vanish… how did you do that?”
She looked at me, her eyes twinkling a little from the shine of the tears. She smiled weakly, replying.
“Just felt like moving it.”
“I can do whatever I want, Katie…” she replied, a bigger smile arching up her lips but it seemed to drop a little as she looked sadly at me, and said. “And so can you…”
“Tell me this is a dream.” I begged, and began to freak out at this talk. I had to be dreaming, I couldn’t be in the waking world and Grace just chuckled shamefully, shaking her head.
“No, this is not a dream. Want some ice cream?”
She pulled out a creamy icecream cone from her lunchbox and offered it to me. I looked at it. It wasn’t melted or anything, a pure perfectly made swirly icecream. She wrapped her hands around the cream as she moved her hand down it and it turned into a banana.
“Or how about some fruit?”
“HOW’D YOU DO THAT?!” I screamed, and covered my mouth quickly, but when I looked around I saw the area was completely empty.
Empty, like as in… no students, teachers or even people. It was ten in the day.
Grace tapped me on the shoulder and just grinned when she saw my scared eyes look back at her.
“Relax, Katie, everything is okay.”
“I need to wake up…” I said and punched myself in the face.
I felt my nose trickle blood out and I covered it in pain. Grace looked sadly at me and said.
“Katie, this isn’t a dream.”
“You’re a magician! This is a reality TV show!”
“No and no…”
“It has to be! How else would you know all these things about me!” I got up and walked around the buildings, looking for cameras. Grace sat watching me and sighed, putting her thumb and finger to the bridge of her nose as if frustrated.
“Anyone, please come out and stop hiding…” I begged in a weak peep, giving up after ten minutes of exploring and trying to find someone. I came back in tired helpless steps to Grace and muttered.
“Why are you doing this to me…?”
“Because I missed you.”
“Okay.” I said, and sat back down, determined to make sense of this all and had to know the true reason behind everything. “Why do you miss me?”
Grace sighed, and looked into my eyes, swallowing as she knew she had to choose her words carefully and she said after a few seconds.
“Because you are the only other person in the universe that exists.”
“HUH?” I said in a yell, not thinking I heard right and Grace gave a weak pathetic laugh… answering back.
“You mean that only you and I exist in this world? This physical world which is inhabited by my best friends, my BOYFRIEND, my parents and-”
“They all don’t exist…”
Okay, that’s it. I knew I was dreaming. I dropped down on my back to the grass and closed my eyes, saying to myself quickly and desperate for this long, weird, and upsetting dream to end. “Wake up, Katie… wake up…”
“I can see you’re not ready for this yet.” Grace said in sadness, and I could hear her voice come out in pain. In a second I heard hands clap twice and I felt the grass beneath me turn into comfy sheets, and a blanket fall on top of me.
I lay there, snuggling into the quilts and sheets and opened my eyes as I heard my alarm beep, to see the time say eight thirty.
I sat up, looking around to see I was back in my room and took the biggest sigh of relief out in my whole entire life.
I looked at the date on the calender that was hanging away on the door to see it was still Tuesday and was days away before college.
I got up and stretched my muscles, relaxing and feeling relieved that all was just a strange bizarre dream. When I went to the mirror to look at myself as I got ready for the day, I saw a note stuck on it in joined neat hand writing.
I froze up in terror when I read those words and just pulled the note down from my mirror, in panic ripping it apart and took gasps in and out as I said quickly to myself.
“Calm down, Katie! Calm down!”
I sat down on the seat before my mirror, which was hanging on the wall against my desk and just looked into my frazzled eyes.
They were brown and tired, and red veins could be seen in them, like I had popped a few blood vessels in my panic.
I closed my eyes slowly, and took a swallow as I whispered to myself, knowing that this was all just a trick.
“Everything is normal… there is no girl named Grace and I am in the real world… with real people…”
I took a heavy breath out and looked at myself again in the mirror. I just saw a distort girl stare back and I said to her, with hidden worry.
Trying to get back to normality was hard for me.
Normal, ha! What’s normal…
Just that the dream had shook me up and then the note, and oh yeah!
WAS I THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE?!
I breathed in and out in my room, walking back and forth in panicky steps as to what the heck was going on in my life. I only wanted to be held by Jasper’s amazing arms and told.
“Katie, you’re only going crazy.”
Because going crazy would make a whole lotta more sense than, than this!
I took a breath out and steadied myself. It was Tuesday… I had imagined it all. Heck, I probably wrote that note myself in my sleep to scare me. Yes! That was it…
“Oh stop lying to yourself…” I whispered under my breath as I leant up against the mirror and looked into my exhausted panicked eyes. “Something is going on here… and I need to just calm down… and find out what.”
I nodded as I looked at myself and quickly got changed and ready for the day. I headed downstairs after a few minutes and saw Sinead and Maggie in the living room, joking and laughing with each other. I took another deep inhale.
Okay… calm down, Katie.
I smiled nervously as I waved at them and said with a happy pretend voice, “Hi! What’s happening today?”
“Oh nothing, we’re just talking about the weather…” Sinead said nonchalantly, and looked up at me with a smile. “And how it’s so dry lately.”
“Yeah, it is pretty dry, isn’t it?” I said in a high laugh, and the two looked a bit puzzled at me. “What?”
“Nothing…” Sined said, and she turned her eyes to Maggie, the two smirking.
“It’s just… you look so ugly today…” Sinead said. I stepped a little back, startled at hearing that.
“Why…” I asked, feeling a bit hurt at that response. “Why would you say that, Sinead?”
“She’s only joshing ya, Grace,” Maggie said with a laugh and I froze, saying back.
“What did you call me?”
“Nothing, Katie.” my small roommate said in return, and I only hesitated a little as I took a few steps away from them and decided to not eat breakfast there that morning, but head to Jasper’s.
Okay, Maggie had definitely called me Grace. She had called me her name, and I knew I wasn’t imagining it.
And the two of them were just acting weird in general! Calling me ugly. Granted, Sinead had always been a little loose with the tongue but never had she said something that hurtful to me before.
Maybe… I was just being over-sensitive. I was still recovering from that dream.
I headed down the street in the direction of my boyfriend’s and just bumped into someone, hearing them say.
“Look up, it’s a beautiful day.”
I spun around as soon as I heard that girly voice and looked behind me just to see the street was empty.
“Grace…?” I peeped afraid.
No! Don’t acknowledge the delusions, Katie!
I warned myself not to play into these mind games I was making for myself and just nodded my head, continuing on to Jasper’s.
I reached his house after a couple more minutes and knocked on the door. After a minute of no answer, I used my spare keys to let myself in and I called as I stepped through the hallway.
I got no reply and I blinked my eyes, confused. I continued walking slowly across to his door and knocked on it, coming in as I uttered.
I froze, seeing him panicking when he saw me, as he was in bed naked with a girl. I screamed.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?”
“Katie! Wait!” He said, jumping up off his bed, a blanket hanging down from his arm as he tried hopelessly to cover himself, but I could still see all his junk.
“I can explain!”
“THAT YOU CHEATED ON ME?!”
“No! Well, Yes! But-”
In tears, I just gave a huge upset, hmpth! And left the room. I ran out of the house as his naked body followed me onto the street and Jasper begged.
“Please, Katie, would you listen to me?!”
“Oh, Jesus Christ!” I shouted, my face going red as he was humiliating me in pure daylight, and he said.
“It isn’t what you think!”
“It’s not, huh?” I said back, slapping my hand to my face, in just utter disbelief at his stupidity. “So you weren’t just screwing that girl?”
“Grace, listen to me!”
“My name is not GRACE!” I screamed, my face the colour of a tomato with all the stress I was in. “Grace doesn’t exist! SHE DOESN’T! You cheated on me! WE are THROUGH!”
“Fine!” He yelled and just walked away, his ass wagging as he strutted back inside without another word. I stared at him as he left, before looking around to see if anyone saw.
But the street was empty.
What was happening? Was I still dreaming?!
I swallowed and wiped my face, the tears having dampened it, and I went back in the direction of my house.
I slammed the door of my room closed minutes later as I fell on my knees to the floor and just tore into howls and weeps.
“Jasper!” I cried, begging for him to hear me even though I knew he couldn’t. “Oh Jasper! W-why did you do it! W-WHY!”
My nose was getting all stuffed up and snotty as I beckoned for the world to make sense. My eyes hurt from the tears that wouldn’t stop flooding my face.
I sat there and wept and wept and then began laughing. LAUGHING! Can you believe it!?
I was laughing at just the whole ludicrously of it all and weakly, in weepy giggles, got off the ground.
Going over to my bed and just flopping into it.
I promised myself I would wake up from this dream and be back in real world with my perfect boyfriend, perfect life and perfect friends.
But as I turned over to my other side, I just saw blue eyes look at me, a mouth smiling and I stiffened as there, laying beside me was-
“AHH!” I yelled, tumbling off my bed as I hit the ground with my ass and screeched, “GRACE FUCKING KELLY!”
“Thank you…” Grace said, sitting up tiredly and looking with a small smile at me. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
I was hyperventilating and Grace looked at me worried, saying scared when she saw my face.
“You are okay… right…?”
I thought I was about to faint. I gasped and gasped and gasped some more, before I hit my head up against my wall and cried again.
“Okay, look Katie… you need to calm down… okay?” Grace said slowly, concern in her voice but she seemed not as panicked as what one should be in this moment.
“I can’t!” I said, gasping for air as my eyes were clenched tightly and I yelled, “I can’t breathe!”
I felt sound of feet hitting the ground as footsteps could be heard running up to me, and I could feel Grace bend down beside me, whispering into my ear.
“I’m sorry… but I just-”
“YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE!”
“I didn’t!” she denied just then and yelled back, her voice pounding into my ear. “You destroyed mine first!”
“I s-swear-” I said still gasping, and I nearly blacked out but suddenly felt wind gushing into my face and opened my eyes… seeing I was on a grassy cliff. The ocean breeze was blowing in my hair.
I began to fall backwards but felt arms catch me in almost one of those trust games. I fell into Grace’s arms, the girl holding me still, and I finally took one last deep breath before breathing through my nose…
Just so unbelievably tired now… dreary… and wanting to sleep.
“Katie…” Grace whispered to me, and I looked up into her face that was near mine. “I’m sorry I had to do that.”
“Do… what…?” I said in a weak tired breath, and collapsed completely into her arms then. She fell backwards and we landed back onto my bed.
I got the feeling she only took me to that cliff to get some air in my lungs.
I looked warily around as I was back in my tiny room but was on top of Grace and pushed off her. I went weakly to the other side of my bed and just curled into a protective ball, whispering to myself.
“It’s okay, Katie… it’s okay…”
Grace blinked a few times, noticing (I bet to her displeasure) that I was off her. She sat up after a moment and approached me, just a little, crawling over. But stopped when she saw my solemn face and turned her eyes down to the ground, muttering.
“I believe you…” I muttered back, and she blinked again, looking up at me. But she seemed to feel guilty about doing that.
“So you believe that you are in a universe with just me..?”
“YEAH, I guess.” I grumbled and placed my head in my hands, crying weakly. She sighed.
She moved her body closer, leaning on her arm near me and mumbled.
“So do you want to know why..?”
“Not right now…” I said quietly, grumbling under my breath and she nodded back. She leant against my bed rest to the side of me, and gave a soft weak smile.
I turned my brown eyes to her blue and just stared blankly into them.
“I can see you are very annoyed…” she mumbled and I gave a fake laugh.
“Ha ha. No… I’m fucking DANDY.”
“No… you’re not.”
“You are such a genius. You should win a noble prize for your ingenuousness.”
“Already got one.” she said with a sly smile and held a noble prize up in her hand. I looked at it, just giving a blank stare and uttered.
“You are not funny.”
“Sorry…” Grace just muttered, looking down to her hands and swaying back and forth, nervous as she looked at them. She said after a second. “Maybe I should leave you; have some time by yourself.”
“Not that it matters…” I said. My voice was low and dead. She gave a soft smile and said back quietly.
“Yeah… I guess so…”
“Can you just make this a dream again?” I asked quietly, wanting that wish fulfilment to be true and she sadly shook her head. She said.
“Sorry, Katie… but I can’t live outside your world anymore.”
“Can you also not live in it…?” I grumbled and she gave a weak laugh, shaking her head as she looked down and said.
“No… I most definitely have to live in it.”
“Why couldn’t I share this universe at least with a hot guy?” I blurted out, not caring if I hurt her feelings or not. Grace closed her eyes, smiling an amused grin. I looked at her, confused over this.
“What…” I said, tired, beaten and bruised.
“Nothing…” she said and touched my knee, squeezing it as she got up on her legs and walked across the bed, jumping down to the ground. I watched her, confused. She looked at me with a soft smile, saying back.
“I’ll be here when you wake up in a few hours… don’t worry. I’m just going to get something to eat.”
“Can you eat it here?” I asked blankly, staring at her with little life. She just chuckled, saying back.
“No… you need your rest. And I need to bugger off.”
“I hate you so much…” I said in despise and she nodded her head, smiling with a bit of sadness at me this time. Before she left the room.
I closed my eyes.
Answers, I knew, were coming soon…
At least I hoped…
But hey, I’ve been wrong before.
I sat there, breathing slowly in and out. Grace had left and I didn’t know where she had gone, but also I didn’t know what was out there waiting for me.
Now, now that I knew NOTHING existed.
Great, this was just great… like seriously? Who designed this universe in the way that it would be just the two of us? NOT ME, I knew that for sure.
Still, I felt pissed off. Upset… lost and alone… and it hurt me even more knowing that truly, I… was… a-alone.
“Okay, Katie… okay…” I said to myself quietly as I curled up on my bed, holding my legs close to my body and weeping silent tears.
“Just because that Grace one says that you and her are the only ones here… doesn’t mean you are the only ones… h-here.”
I tried to give a small hopeful smile, but as it arched up my face it just felt more hopeless than anything else, and I burst into tears.
“Oh, who am I kidding!” I yelled for the non-existent world to hear, “I’m alone! ALL ALONE AND NO ONE CARES! No one is… even… t-t-there!”
my lips were shaking out the words in blubbers, and I just dived my head into my arms, weeping and weeping.
After a while I felt I couldn’t cry anymore tears and took a deep breath. I moved my legs to the side of the bed and just sat there by myself, trying to calm myself down. I felt my chest inhale and exhale slowly a few times, as I tried to steady myself before getting up and heading downstairs. As I walked through my apartment I heard no sound or noise from the streets outside, and as I peeped through the windows, I saw no people anywhere.
I felt my body feel empty and still, not frightened but just accepting in a sad way that this was now my reality… that this world… was literally all of my own creation. Like a dream I could never wake up from.
I reached the kitchen after a few moments more and went to the fridge. I opened it up and saw it filled with the most delicious of treats. Chocolate, cakes, wine and so on. I swallowed, feeling my mouth grow watery, looking at all the amazing snacks and reached my hand into the refrigerator, taking out the black forest gateau cake.
I went to make myself some tea but saw a hot cup of it waiting for me on the table and I nervously gulped, walking slowly over to it and examining it, cautiously.
I slowly cleared my throat and sat down, taking a sip and using a spoon to take a scoop of the cake, when suddenly I saw blue eyes look at me from across the table, and I froze… staring at her. Before sighing and uttered.
“Are you…” Grace asked slowly, her eyes darting down to the cake, before back up into mine. She muttered quietly, “Are you feeling… okay?”
“No.” I said straight out, and stubbornly pushed my cake away, folding my arms and not saying a word.
“Really…?” Grace asked in a quiet non believing voice and looked her eyes back into mine, the shine in them sparkling a little as she smiled at me. I just frowned. I turned my eyes away and just hmpth, ignoring her affection. She gave a weak sigh, adding back. “Yeah… okay…”
I kept quiet for a moment before feeling my stomach grumble and gave a gaze up at Grace, swallowing a little as I looked at the cake before giving in and muttering, “Shut up…” as I pulled the plate over again and began hungrily munching away on the chocolaty goodness.
“Hmm…” Grace mused with a grin and I finished the last bite, questioningly holding my spoon out to her and began.
“How…” she looked at me, as I licked the insides of my mouth to get the remaining chocolate down and pointed my spoon to her, almost in a demanding way, “How come I need to eat if we’re the only two in this universe?”
“You inhabit a body, Katie… I do too.” Grace said in a quite precise informative way “Let’s just say, we are the only two really physicals in this non physical-verse.”
"Non physical what- now?"
Grace giggled a little at my silly question, and I rolled weakly my eyes in return to this, giving a small smirk.
“You see through your eyes, don’t you…? an observer. But you can only be if you are being observed back… or else… how would this world work?”
“Wait, now…” I said slowly, still waving my spoon almost in a drunken way at Grace. She sat still on her seat, smiling weakly, waiting to answer questions.
“Are you saying that the reason why there are only two people in this universe… is because… we need each other to even exist?”
“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
“Well of course it doe-” I paused as I saw Grace grin, and thought about the question for a second before muttering, “Well… doesn’t it?”
“As they say… it takes two to tango.”
“Enough with the analogies.”
“Sorry…” Grace said, giving a small smile, looking endeared. she looked into my eyes and I only looked nervously off at the affection.
“How did you even discover we were the only ones?”
Grace turned her eyes down to the ground, and nervously bit her lip. She didn’t respond for the whole five seconds that went by and I grumbled a little, drinking my tea and after a while I just huffed out a bit of air, fed up. I got up and went back to the fridge.
“No…” I mumbled with an annoyed voice, “I’m starving.”
“I’ve got us some Chinese food.”
I stared away from the fridge, back at her and blinked when I saw candles lit on the table. The table itself was completely set with five star quality restaurant food awaiting to be eaten. I looked outside to see it had completely gone night. The moon was full and I just stared at Grace, annoyed.
“Really?” I said to her slowly, and came over, folding my arms and looking at the delicious beef satay that let off such a beautiful aroma I wished I was bathed in it. “My boyfriend just cheated on me and you expect me to have a fucking romantic dinner with you?”
“What…?” Grace said nervously, and looked around, gripping her fingers to her seat’s sides and smiling awkwardly. “I always… eat dinner like t-this.”
I looked slowly at her, raising an eyebrow up suspiciously and also unimpressed. Her lying abilities were just hopeless.
“Just join me…”
“How-?” I began, about to ask another question but she pat my seat and I growled under my breath. I decided to take her up on her offer… it’s not like I had any other option.
I sat down and picked up my knife and fork, beginning to eat. Grace smiled warmly at me and I rolled my eyes, saying.
“This is good…”
“So all the nice food in this world… was designed by you?”
“It’s…” Grace said slowly, her voice nervous, and stuffed her mouth almost in an excuse not to answer. “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”
“Is this all some weird governmental conspiracy?” I asked with curious eyes, and Grace just chuckled.
“N-no, no…” she said, laughing softly and began eating her dinner too, liking the taste quite a lot and smiled with dreamy eyes over at me. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Well you’re gonna have to.” I said with a knowing voice, and she sighed, looking down to her meal and nodding.
“So have you always had the hots for me…?” I asked, munching away on my delicious beef and she laughed, looking at me and shaking her head gently, amused.
“Katie, you are always so articulate.”
“Good with words.”
“Thank you. I try to be good with words” I said, matter of factly, and Grace just laughed again. I looked at her, a bit confused at how I was so funny, but seeing her dreamy eyes light up with laughter, made a small giggle slip out my own mouth as well.
I halted the moment that happened and would’ve sucked in the laugh at that second if it would’ve spared her from hearing. Grace just looked worried and confused at me when I silenced myself, only munching quietly away on my rice and sauce.
“Sorry…” Grace said quietly, feeling upset in herself now, at least that’s what it seemed. I stared at her, confused. “I know… you had loved him…”
“Him? HIM!?” I said, almost in a choking laugh and just slammed my cutlery to the table, glaring at her. She stiffened up, staring frightened back at me. “Was there ever even a Him? Did HE ever really exist?!”
“He did through me…” Grace just muttered in a quiet beaten voice, and closed her eyes, hanging her head down pathetically and muttering. “At least… I tried to be him… but I couldn’t.”
“Grace,” I said back slowly, and just picked up my fork again, shovelling food back into my mouth and spoke “What are you saying? What do you mean, like, all the time?”
Grace gave out a weak sigh, and looked back up at me, saying quietly back. “Nothing… I mean… I mean nothing.”
I just stared quietly at her. So lost in what this girl meant every second of every minute I knew her and gave out a big exhale myself.
“Well… It’d be nice if you started meaning something…”
Grace gave a weak smile up one side of her lips and I froze. Shit, that actually kinda came out romantic in some sick sense of the word. I quickly shovelled the rest of the food into my mouth. I swallowed it down and felt it hurt my throat at how much compressed food that actually was and got up, saying in that instant.
“I need to go.”
“Yeah… I think I need that, too.”
"I need to, like, wake up or- OR-!"
“Katie…” Grace said softly with a weak smile and I sighed, nodding my head and replying.
“Yeah I know… I’m already ‘fucking’ awake.”
“It will get easier.”
Grace looked quietly up at me, before turning her eyes back down to the ground and saying.
“It just will.”
“Oh God, I feel so bloated…” I said, the food finally reaching my stomach and making me groan in pain. Honestly… looking at myself and how I was acting… what the heck did Grace actually like in me?
I held my sore stomach and looked up nervously, just to see Grace had disappeared and the sun was blaring into the window as it had become day.
I blinked, confused. I took pained steps over to the window and looked through it to the streets, just to see that they were still empty and desolate, and I sighed. I looked around a couple more times before deciding to just flop onto the couch and let the food digest in the best way it could. I was angry that I had just eaten, eaten, eaten without thinking. I guess in a way I was hangry…
Urgh… very bad pun, Katie… very bad.
I lay there, holding myself in aches and pains and just shouted for the universe to hear,
“Can I at least have some tunes?!”
After a second or two, the radio came on in crystal clear surround sound and my favourite songs began flowing out from it.
I lay there, sickened a little by it all… sickened at how well she knew me. But after a few more seconds, closed my eyes and just listened to the songs play gently against my ears.
Wishing I could just be gone in the music… vanishing and no longer existing.
But then… how could I do that to Grace…?
I crinkled my eyelids a little, thinking of that for a second, and the pain I got through my heart at the thought.
Grace… why should she matter…?
Grace… why now, should she not?
I thought about that as I lay on the couch… why did I care for Grace?
I mean yes, she was annoying in that she was the only other person I’d have to put up with for the rest of my existence… and yes, she was nice and all.
But why did I actually want her well-being and happiness to matter when all I wanted was to…
Really, life was so much simpler when I believed I had no control over it and was just an insignificant human in it all.
But now… over the last couple of days, I had discovered that I was like SUPER important, and the love of this girl Grace’s life.
If I was even living…?
Let’s see… I remember just popping into this world at age three, like I had always been here… and I guess now, I had always been here.
Too many weird things happening now that I couldn’t make sense of.
I blew out a bit of air, relaxing a little on the couch and listening to amazing new songs come on that I was already dying to add to my playlist.
“I must say, Gracey…” I said in a cheeky voice, surprising myself with it even, “You have quite a good taste in music.”
There was no response to that and I frowned, but I bet with all my heart she heard. Heck, she probably knew every word I had ever spoken.
She was such a strange girl… and not just because she was the only other living thing in this world.
But yeah… she actually intrigued me.
NOT in a romantic way, no no. NO, not that I was suddenly gay for her or something. Thank you very much but I-I like myself da penises…
But she was interesting… like her well ran deep. And me… I was just so… shallow compared to her.
I was but, I couldn’t deny it. What I had always wanted in life was to be loved, adored, fame, fortune. I had absolutely no idea what she wanted, though.
Not one single smidgen.
The TV switched on that instant and I turned my eyes over to it, seeing a Q and A was on. I sat up, looking at it as the man on the telly asked the question.
“Katie, would you like to A: Hang out with your friends or B: Go clubbing.”
“Neither, Grace…” I said back blankly, a bit disappointed to be given these options. “I want to hang out with someone who is actually real!”
“I’m sorry, but that option is not available at the moment.”
I rolled my eyes, saddened by this and uttered out weakly, “Okay… I guess then, the secret option C: Learn how to manipulate this universe, like you seem to do.”
The TV switched off, and I felt a buzz in my pocket. I reached my hand quickly into it, pulling out my phone to see a text message say.
Not ready yet.
“What? I’m not ready… yet?” I said in a pout and the phone buzzed again. I looked at the new message.
No, Me. I’m not ready yet.
I groaned, not impressed and bored. Just plain bored. I spoke out loud. “If you weren’t ready… than why did you disrupt my world to even begin with?!”
The phone began to ring and I gave a weak sigh out, answering it and saying in a sweet voice.
“Yes, Katie speaking. Who is dis?”
"What- But! I can't be talking to myself. That is MAD!"
I heard silence on the other side, and I waited a few seconds for a laugh, before my lips dipped and I said back, much less enthusiastic.
“Okay, what’s wrong?”
“How are you so… okay with this…?”
“I kinda don’t have a choice, Gracey Lacey.”
“Heh heh…” she chuckled and I grew a smile, happy I had finally got a positive response.
“Yeah, but…” Grace began, her voice still weak and so lacking confidence, “I just… I thought kinda showing everything together at once, would be alright, would give me confidence. But… but…”
"But... I- I have to go!"
Grace hung up on me that instant and I growled in anger.
I threw my phone into the wall and just crossed my legs and arms. I was not happy with how she responded.
I didn’t get it. She said she liked me, she said she FLIPPING LOVED me… yet she didn’t even want to be around me? Maybe she just loved the idea of me?
“Maybe, baby, gravy, maybe…” I grumbled and got up, leaving the house and heading outside. Only to see that the grey and dirty city had been replaced with crystal clear sea sides, and golden warm sands. The sun was setting in the distance, a beautiful orange sky with pink and red burning through it and I sighed.
I wished I could’ve enjoyed the scenery, but I simply could not. I wanted company… I wanted answers. I didn’t want her just giving me nice stuff… I wanted a friend…
And still I couldn’t figure out how to take control of this world for myself. Grace being the master… Grace still being my omnipresent God.
Huh? That was actually weird to think of in some way, that she had literally been my God, giving me everything my heart desired, except one thing.
Escape from this world forever.
I looked up, freezing a little as I saw her standing away. She was wearing a white long flowy dress, that blew in the breeze. Her feet were being splashed with the tide that came in and out.
I looked at her, stilling myself as at that second a weird feeling came over me.
She really looked beautiful there… she really looked like someone special.
I shook off that thought and swallowed, approaching her quickly and punching her in the arm.
“Shoosh,” I said to her and rolled my eyes, Grace flinching away as she touched around her arm for the tiniest non-existent bruise she believed she had gotten.
She smiled timidly at me, staying still and near me for a second, before losing her confidence again and shuddering back.
“I-” she said, about to say words of some kind but silenced herself and just gave a small smile, saying back quietly.
She grinned and just looked into my eyes, her own ones dreamy and intoxicated with some emotion I could not make out.
“Stop it…” I said back weakly, and she stepped away, afraid she had done wrong.
“Just don’t look at me.”
“Look at the ocean or something.”
She didn’t question me and looked out to the setting sun and the beauty that was in it. I looked out to the sun as well, not daring to catch her gaze again and we both stood there, watching the sky turn darker red and than dark blue. A million stars soon spread across the dark canvas of night and I sighed, liking witnessing it all. I mumbled out in such grace.
“That was nice.”
“Yeah,” Grace just giggled, and looked at me in the dark, the blue in her eyes being reflected from the light of the full moon and she swallowed, staring at me.
Staring at my lips if anything else, and I quickly noticed this, stepping back and saying.
She stumbled back, a little taken aback by my response and she said quickly, afraid, “Sorry, did I do something wrong?!”
“But the sun set just right, and the sky is full of so many stars and-”
“You looked at me! WITH THOSE EYES!”
“I’m so SORRY! I’M SORRY!” she cried, and tears ran down her face that instant. She sobbed and fell to the sand, curling up her legs to her chest. I stood there, puzzled… I didn’t realize that she was so… sensitive. I’d think someone with ultimate power would be, ya know, confident and a little cocky?
“I’m sorry…” Grace just blubbered out again, hiding her teary expression away in her hands and I looked around nervously, looking for something to distract me.
“It’s fine… just… I’m not ready… to move on…”
“Move on from me…”
“Yes… Jasper was me…”
“No.” I said back in a determined denying shout, covering my ears, “No, no, no, no…”
I opened my eyes (which I had shut) and saw Jasper before me, looking at me with his amazing CHEATING eyes, and I paused. I looked at him, falling for him all over again and said in joyous tears.
“Oh, Jasper, it’s really you!”
I fell into his strong muscular arms- OKAY, YES, I know I am stupid- only to suddenly feel him vanish and I dropped forward into smaller arms. The person holding me then, seemed to be warmer and more feminine. Those arms being slender and soft and I froze as I realized Grace was hugging me. I jolted back from her that second, and in a terrified instinct, shoved her away. She tripped and went tumbling into the ocean, getting drenched and I watched as she splashed about in the water.
“Oh Shit!” I said, feeling like an idiot. I didn’t mean to push her into the water and quickly offered my hand to her.
She sat there in the wet and cold and looked at the offer, before swallowing and taking it-
ONLY TO SLAM ME UNDER THE WAVES, TOO!
“GRACE!” I screamed, my beautiful brown hair getting soaked as I fell onto her stomach, trying to get up and she just laughed a cheeky laugh. The most confidence in that laugh I had heard come out of her yet.
“Get me out!” I screamed, and she looked at me, still giggling herself, about to push me off and get up but I just dunked her head under the waves, and she kicked me in the groin. My face went the colour of a beetroot being touched so forcefully in my endogenous zone, and I felt my face heat up in unwanted arousal at her return strike.
“DON’T KICK A GIRL THERE!” I yelled at her, and she bobbed her head up above the water, grinning a devilish smile. “Seriously, DON’T!”
“I’m sorry…” Grace chuckled, and I rolled my eyes, saying back in a disbelieving voice.
“Don’t think I’m not catching on to your act, Gracey.”
“‘Oh, I’m so innocent, when really I’m playing Oh so dirty’”
“Okay…?” Grace said slowly, a smirk gracing her lips, and I frowned. I wasn’t annoyed… I just didn’t understand her. It was actually funny. Out of everyone I had ever met, she now seemed the most complicated to get… I wonder if I was complicated to her.
“Just help me up.” I said in a snap, and she rolled her eyes. She grinned widely as she steadied herself on my wet shoulder, and offered me her hand a second later to get up myself. But I had learnt not to accept her altruistic attempts.
“No, thanks.” I said grumpily and stood on my own two feet, literally and figuratively. She gave a huff of air out, before smiling softly at me. The warmth in that smile was too much for any sane person to resist… what was wrong with me?!
“You okay, Katie?” Grace asked, her voice soft and assured. I just stared at her, panting there myself for a second as if in rage, and she paused. Her confidence seemed to dip once again, and she said nervously, “I… just…”
I gave her a hug, a great BIG hug and she stiffened, as she felt my arms wrap around her and her own arms returning the favour.
“Why do you have to be so nice!”
“Why couldn’t you be like, I don’t know, some weird Satanists that just wanted to kill me or torture me or something-”
Grace silenced herself for a second, before leaning back from me and pressing her forehead nervously to mine.
Oh! She was like a darn puppy dog! I wanted to kiss her just then, just because she was so cute, but shoved her away in a brutal nervous push. She nearly tripped back into the waves but I caught her hand and pulled her unsteadily back to her feet.
“You.” I said back, my voice torn and shy then… feeling unwanted feelings seeping more into me and she pointed to herself with her spare hand.
“You are going to show me how to control this world.”
Grace looked at me, startled. She gulped, as she let go of my hand and stood away, scared.
“Okay… but on one condition.”
She looked in internal pain at me and peeped.
“Please stop calling me that.”
“Okay.” she said.
We were standing alone on the beach, and Grace seemed hesitant to what I had asked her to do. Honestly? SHE was hesitant? I should be the one freaking out.
But I was remaining perfectly calm, stubborn in my approach. I wanted to have some control of this reality, now that I knew I actually did have control. I demanded then and there, (but wished my voice hadn’t been so harsh)
“Show me, NOW.”
“I will…” Grace said quietly, seeming upset almost at my yell, and my heart quaked at that. I didn’t mean to hurt her with my yell. I just… I didn’t want to be a pawn. I wanted to be the Queen.
“How I do it…” Grace began, stepping towards me from the distance of the water, and my breath shortened nervously at her approach. “Is by not imagining it in my head, but literally seeing it before me. Knowing it is there already.”
“See that moon?”
I looked up at the full moon and how it reflected white light onto us from the sky.
“You know it’s there right?”
“Use that belief. It is already there, right now, at this moment.”
I jutted my bottom lip forward, as I turned my eyes away to the sky, in annoyed thought. That seemed very easy but very hard at the same time.
“And how did you discover you could do this?”
“The moment I saw you…”
I blinked, looking confused at Grace at hearing her saying this, but she only kept silent. Her eyes went empty, as they fell to the ground and she stood a little apart from me. Not willing to say more.
“Alright…?” I said, and decided I would try to perform something easy first, “Let’s see… let’s see…”
“An icecream cone…?” Grace suggested and I grinned at her, nodding.
“Yes, that would be something, I guess.” I lifted up my hand and pretended there was a cone in it.
I stared more angrily at my hand, forcing it to come into reality but Grace just shook her head.
“You have always been the one with little imagination…”
“Just,” Grace began and held her own hand out, an icecream cone in her hand and she licked it, smiling cheekily. She was so cute when she did that. “Just know it is there, that you have it right now.”
“Right now… right now…” I began again and once more, held out my hand. I looked at it, trying to know that it was there, for real… and I quickly began to freeze up in terror as I felt a cone begin to form in my open hand, icecream swirling into it from an invisible source.
I squeaked out a high gasp as I looked with a terrified smile at Grace, "It- came- HAPPENED-By itself!”
Grace smiled warmly at me, and nodded proudly.
“Yeah… you did it.”
“I did it!” I screamed and threw the cone away, imagining another one that second in my hand, and another. I had one in both hands in a second and brought the icecream of one cone up to my lips, licking a dollop of the frozen cream into my mouth and just sighing out a long delirious “Mmm…”
Grace chuckled, seeing my expression but then… I suddenly grew sad.
She looked at me, quickly getting upset herself at seeing my brought on depression, and asked.
I began to feel tears swell around my eyes, as they began streaming down my cheeks, and I said.
“So all of them… Jasper, m-mum and d-dad… all of them… were just you… were just… f-fake.”
“They weren’t fake.”
“But they weren’t real…”
Grace became quiet for a moment, before nodding her head in hateful agreement to that fact.
“Yeah… they weren’t…”
“And how do I even know YOU are really real!?”
“Because.” Grace said quietly, and stepped towards me. She placed her hand in mine, and I just looked at it, silent… just wanting to know what she’d do. And she looked into my eyes, our faces so close as she-
Just a small kiss before moving back and whispering.
“You can’t destroy love.”
“You…” I said, half astonished at what she just did. But also half accepting it. “You just kissed me.”
“Yeah…” Grace said quietly. A weak smile grew up her lips, and she said back in truth, “I did.”
I suddenly kissed her back, Grace seeming to tense up at the embrace, before she pushed off me and fell on her knees to the ground, whispering.
“No, no, no… this… t-this isn’t right…”
“Why not?” I asked and she only stared out to the ocean, the water lapping around her dress, before saying in a dead voice.
“Because every other time… you rejected me… this must be a dream…”
“Grace, what are you talking about?”
At that second she disappeared. She had vanished and had left me out here on the beach myself, and I growled angrily as I shouted out to the universe.
I COULD NOT believe HER! She left me, out here… with no explanation… not even a goodbye hug.
And what did she mean by, ‘every time you rejected me’? I don’t remember having any recollection of this at all. Jeeze! Why couldn’t she just be simple! Why did she have to be so COMPLICATED!
But I decided to use the new technique she had showed me and imagined a door. The door quickly came into being and I opened it. It took me back to my apartment and I got into my bed upstairs. Resting… and just wanting to be alone. Not wanting the frustration of the world to be pounding down on me. Even though the real frustration wasn’t the world. It was the only other person who inhabited the world.
And how I was falling for her. And how she literally… was my whole world.
As there was no one else.
And I cried.
And I slept.
I woke up again, in a Hawaiian like tropical paradise. I was in a hammock near a beach and a forest filled with lush exotic plants. I froze a little in my position when I looked up and saw where I was. But I got over this quickly and sat up on my hammock, just sighing.
It was nicer waking up here, than in my cold colourless apartment. But at the same time, I had wanted somewhere familiar… and I wanted someone familiar.
I just… didn’t want to be alone.
I blinked, looking up as I saw Maggie with a coconut drink in her hands, as she approached me. I growled,
“Go away… you don’t exist.”
“Yep, okay…” Maggie just giggled and sat on the hammock beside me. “Yeah, well, I’m gonna keep you company while Grace works out whatever the fuck is going on in her mind.”
“What the fuck is going on in her mind?” I asked Maggie. Somehow it was easier to see her as real, than it was the only other real person alive.
“She just can’t seem to work out why you like her this time.”
“Isn’t that what she wanted?!” I asked in a demand, and Maggie just giggled.
“Okay, you’ve had a little one to many drinks, sweetie.”
“Shut up.” I spat, and began to try climb my way out of the hammock. Maggie just held her arm out, blocking my troubled attempts, as she said.
“Calm down, sweetie. All will be cool, soon.”
“And how?” I hissed. Maggie just laughed some more, obviously tipsy from whatever that was in the drink, and I slit my eyes. I looked at her, unimpressed, and finally managed to swing the hammock backwards, facilitating my escape.
“Ooo! We’ve gotta fighter!”
“Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” I screeched and got up on my feet, walking in upset, fast steps out towards the sandy beach and seeing crowds of people enjoying a barbecue and volleyball.
“GRACE!” I roared, my heart pounding and my face red from tears. “DON’T IGNORE ME!”
I didn’t want these fake people, I didn’t want this fake world. I wanted there to be truth! I wanted there to be freedom! I didn’t want to be trapped in this universe alone… unloved… not important to anyone but one. As I thought these words I pulled out a knife from the grill stand and was about to stab my heart, when I heard a shriek yell out.
The knife disappeared the second it had made the slightest contact with my skin and I saw everyone had disappeared…
Except one girl.
Who was shaking and crying in terror.
“DON’T!” Grace begged, running towards me and flinging her arms in a desperate tearful hug around me. “PLEASE DON’T! P-PLEASE, PLEASE… d-don’t…”
Her words were only blubbering sounds. She hugged me, not ever willing to let me go. My rage began to slowly subside. I stood there, being hugged, before finally returning the embrace and hugged her back.
I let go after a minute but she still hugged me, tears landing on my shoulder from the ones she cried. I stuttered out weakly.
“Hey, I’m sorry… alright…?”
“No…” Grace just whispered, and finally let go of me. She looked at me in the eyes, before turning her head away and sitting down on the sand. Just staring ahead like she had done earlier.
“You’re not sorry… because every time, you do this… and we have to start again.”
“Every time… I do what?”
My breath shortened when she said this and I looked at her, afraid. Muttering.
“You mean… I have killed myself before?”
“Many, many times…”
“You forget everything we ever had… and we start over… except sometimes… y-you don’t love me… and even when the times you do, it gets too much for you. And you take your life.”
“I do?” I peeped, gulping at the fear of that thought.
“YES.” Grace just said, staring with stilled scorching eyes up at me. Like she hated me yet loved me at the same moment.
“I’m sorry, I guess…” I said, and sat down beside her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. She hesitated for a moment, before leaning her head against me and closing her eyes. Still in so much pain.
“I know you are… but I can’t keep doing this.”
“Starting again and again with memories of the past.”
“So your memory… doesn’t go?”
Grace shook her head.
“No… I remember when I first saw you, We were three… You were the first thing I saw when I came into existence… and since that moment… I could never forget.”
I sat there, just listening. Not knowing what else I could do. This all seemed so fantastical to me.
“But…” I said slowly, this question suddenly popping into my mind. I just had to ask. “Do you remember the world… before we came into being?”
Grace shook her head, “I don’t remember anything before seeing your face.”
“But what if you had existed lives before us? And the reason why you hadn’t remembered them was because you just hadn’t met me yet?”
Grace gave a forced smile, as her lips curled back, not knowing how to respond.
“I’ve thought of that possibility.” Grace said quietly, acknowledging what I said and agreeing with what I meant. “And I’ve tried forgetting you… but you are the only thing I remember each time I come into being… the only thing I exist for… and that crushes me… knowing you forget me. And will forget me… once we die again.”
“We will die?”
“Yes. We are giving these bodies, these same bodies… but we die with them, then wake up again at our appointed ages… and start over and over again…”
“That…” I said, the horror crawling through my body. “That sounds like hell.”
“It won’t be but…” Grace told me, looking softly into my eyes and kissing me on the cheek. She leant her forehead against mine. My breath weakened at the warm intimacy I felt, staring into her pale blue eyes.
Her beautiful blue eyes.
“At least, not for you… because for you… each life… is like the only life you have ever lived.”
“I’m so sorry, Gracey…” I said, my heart breaking as I fully understood her torture now and she only nodded weakly. She gave me a warm shaky smile, but tears ran down her cheeks. All I wanted to do was hug her.
But I didn’t know if that’s what she wanted.
But heck, if I knew Grace… and I think I knew her well enough now, that was EXACTLY what she wanted.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her. Grace did not make a sound as she felt me cradle her like a baby, and she gave a weak sad chuckle… but it was more pained and torn up than anything else.
“I promise you I won’t forget you next time.”
“But you will.”
“I promise, I won’t.”
“But you will.”
I hated how she had such little faith in me, how she seemed to not believe my words as true. But even I was doubting them a little bit now.
If she said each time I did, how could I know the next time I, a hundred percent, wouldn’t?
I sighed, and hugged her closer.
As the night seemed to come we got up, and I imagined a delicious set table full of spicy food into existence. Grace gave a soft smile as she sat on the other side of the table. We both pulled in our chairs, a waiter serving us.
Music played nearby by a Hawaiian band, and we began to eat the food that tasted so much like heaven, I felt like I was literally in heaven.
And then I looked at Grace as that thought popped into my mind.
“Do you ever think… we are in heaven?”
Grace shook her head, as if almost certain of her truth.
“We’re not… nothing exists… outside of what we create.”
“Yeah, but…” I said, thinking that over and wishing there was more to that than what there was, “Before you could remember creating… wasn’t there something more?”
“I told you, Katie…” Grace said with a sigh, as she took a sip out of the coke in the glass beside her and looked at me in pain, “I remember nothing before seeing you. I think we are in a circle that never ends… except now, I see the circle in each incarnation. But you… you don’t.”
“I know.” I said in a sigh, having to agree with her on that, even though I didn’t want to accept it as it was.
But deep down, I knew that this reality was now only for the two of us… I had to accept this as my fate. This world we created was beautiful and yet demented in the same way.
We were stuck… except one of us couldn’t remember it once death came… but the other… she would never forget.
“But I wonder…” I asked, looking at Katie, thinking this question over. She nodded her head weakly at me, listening.
“I wonder why you are not a guy… or I am not a guy… why we’re both girls?”
“I wondered that, too…” Grace said back barely, and smirked at me as she said with total belief in her truth, “But I came to the conclusion… we are both girls… because if one of us had been a man, we could create a new real living being. And that is one thing this universe won’t allow.”
“Wow…” I said, amazed at that certainty and how true her words were, “That is… probably true.”
“Mmm hmm.” Grace just murmured and continued to eat her food. I began to chow down on my as well and soon when we had finished, and it had grown late in the night, I grew tired… and so did Grace.
I wondered why we grew tired, just then, but remembered… we were observers… and we had bodies that we couldn’t control. In a world that we could.
I got up after a while from the table and reached my hand out to Grace. She swallowed, accepting it. We began walking down the beach, hand in hand.
“It’s been a while since you’ve accepted me.”
“In the last fifteen lives you rejected me each time.”
That sounded so heartless of me… was I really such a bitch?
“Then why do you keep trying… I sound… horrible…” I hated the way I spoke of myself but it was true. I was a horrible person if I had hurt her so many times.
“Because you are not.” Grace said, saying what her heart knew better than mine. “You are a beautiful person, you’ve always been beautiful… and I can’t live without you… even if you can live without me.”
“I wish I could r-remember them,” I said in near tears, my words trembling, and Grace looked confused at me.
I began, hating how I could not control my mind. “I wish I could remember the thousands of years we had had together… remember the me’s I had been for you to love me so much. I just wish I STOPPED forgetting!”
Grace looked down to the ground, our footsteps trailing behind us on the sand. She gave a soft, yet broken smile.
As she was in pain… but also bliss…
But also pain…
“I know, Katie…” she said, for that’s all she could say and I looked at her. How beautiful she truly was… and how I suddenly then knew I loved her, as if I had always loved her.
“But I wish… that one day… I will forget.”
Those words hurt me, but I could understand her sentiment… yet it crushed me.
For in the end… we were both in torture.
As we lived in this heaven of our creation.
The years went by as we fell more deeply in love. I didn’t know I could fall so hard for someone, but I soon learnt that real love was never ending, and that you would never land. You would just keep falling and falling.
She was amazing, the things I learnt about her, the person she was… she, in the end, truly was my everything.
“I want us,” she said to me one day, and I perked up, as I had been listening to music in a theatre stadium. Hey, no one was gonna stop me now, were they?
I held my hands up to the orchestrator, getting him to stop playing the score, and looked my warm happy eyes into Grace’s ones.
“Want us to what?”
“I want us to fly with dragons.”
“Fly with dragons?” I said eagerly, a big smile growing up my twenty-five year old lips now and jumped up in glee at that thought. “I’d love to fly with dragons! Can we use brooms?!”
“Can we have wings attached to us?”
I frowned, stubborn. I preferred it when I had control over the flight, not some beast Grace imagined up. I looked at her, folding my arms and said back, not wanting to compromise.
“I get a broom.”
“PLEASE, GRACE!” I begged, holding her hands and pulling her to me, my bottom lip trembling in pretend pleading. She shook her head. She held my hands tightly back and pulled me close, kissing me on the mouth as she responded.
“We’re flying on a dragon together… because…”
“Because?” I begged to know and she grinned. I waited to hear what the HELL this was because of. The mystery drove me nuts. She kissed me again, saying.
“Because you’ll see.”
“Urgh!” I said, stamping my feet moodily. She only chuckled and I followed her out the doors, to where we were suddenly on a cloud stadium. People cheered on either side of us, held back behind cloud walls as they watched as we got on a pink dragon. I cooed at seeing the colour.
Squee! It was so girly! It was PERFECT!
I wrapped my arms tightly around Grace’s waist, her body now something I had become quite acquainted to, and we took off that instant, diving through the sky. The dragon’s wings suddenly shot opened and it lifted itself upwards by the force of the wind, gliding through the sky.
I could see the sun light piercing it’s light across the atmosphere before us. I only sighed deliriously happy. Grace always knew how to do the most romantic things, heck that’s probably why my “imaginary” boyfriend had always been able to be so romantic from so many years ago.
I kissed her on the neck, and I could feel her grinning, very much liking the feel of my lips on her skin.
We flew on for minutes on end, not speaking any words to each other. Just happy, just in bliss… just in love.
“I love you, Grace.” I said softly to her. I had said these words many times before but each time I had always meant it. I can’t believe that all those years ago I had hated that I shared the universe with her and not somebody else. But now, she was the kindest, most altruistic and loving person I knew. I guess she was my soul mate. And she would probably remain my soul mate forever.
My heart beats slowed a little in a small damper… as I thought about that word.
I wanted to remember her forever, but yet… I had forgotten each life from before. And there was a good possibility I would forget the life coming after this one.
I didn’t WANT to forget! I wanted to know her forever! I wanted to be with her forever! She was my best friend, my other half! The only person I care for now-
AND NOT BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON.
Because… because she was just so beautiful. It just had taken me so long to see.
“Grace…” I whispered to her, my voice quiet and sad. She seemed suddenly sad herself at hearing the pain in her name I had spoken. She said back quietly in return.
“I don’t want to forget you.”
“I know…” she said back to me, turning her neck around as she looked into my eyes, and the warmth and sincereness that shimmered from her own. “But you might.”
“I know I might…” I said to her, hating that to be the truth. “But I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to, either…” she said quietly to me, with so much love and my eyes sparkled with tears at the softness and warmth of her voice. Of her essence… of her soul.
“Then I promise.” I said, right then, right now. “I promise I will not forget.”
“You can’t keep that promise, but.”
“Oh yes, I can.” I said, determinedly. I stood up on the dragon just then, and Grace’s eyes widened as she saw me stand there with confidence. She said in a rush of terror.
“Katie! What if you FALL!”
“Don’t worry, there’s metal straps around my legs.”
I wasn’t an idiot. I wasn’t going to let myself accidentally die, when hopefully I had at least this whole life to spend with Grace.
Grace smiled at me, but still didn’t like the risk I was putting myself in, and I only groaned in response.
“Oh, come on, Gracey… don’t be such a woose.”
“Woose…?” she said slowly, grinning back at me as she didn’t associate with that word it seemed. “I’m not scared.”
“Prove it.” I said cheekily, sticking out my tongue. Grace smiled wider, and stood up as well on the dragon. She took a few steps towards me, the wind blowing in her long blonde hair before she collapsed with a grin into my arms. I grinned back at her, my eyes with a spark in them and she just leant her head upwards to mine. Kissing me so ever very gently.
The taste of her mouth was delicious, so warm and inviting and I kissed her back graciously- but more greedy than anything else.
We made love that night, OH, it was AWESOME!
Yes, even after so many years, I still found myself immature in how I described the way I felt. But Grace had shown there was a deeper side to me, and I in return had giving her a more light hearted side.
I lay awake in bed that morning, watching her sleep in utter peace beside me. Our bodies were covered with white fragrant sheets, our room massive as we were living in a palace. I twirled my finger around one of her blonde locks, and watched as it fell back into its straight waves again.
“Oh Charles!” I called to our butler and he came in, saying with his upper class British accent.
“Yes, Miss Katie.”
“I would like a serving of the finest pancakes and hot chocolate for breakfast this morning.”
“Of course, Miss Katie.”
“Oh, and-” I said quickly, getting up and standing there naked, but it didn’t matter because Charles was gay. “Could you also bring in a black forest gateau cake in the shape of a love heart that says ‘happy anniversary Katie and Gracey’?”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Miss Katie.”
“Thank you, Charles.” I said formally back but my mouth was smiling all the while with giddy glee.
I sat back down next to Grace and stared into her peaceful face. A smile had appeared on her lips now as she was having a sweet dream. I grinned, at seeing this and kissed her on the cheek.
She seemed to wake up at the touch, and opened her eyes, just looking up at me and smiled warmly all the while.
“Wassup?” I asked and she rolled her eyes, giggling at my response.
“Perfect way to wake up to the day.”
“It’s always a perfect day, when I’m in it.” I said back with a wink. She smiled at me, liking hearing that thought.
“You are just too cocky, Katie.”
“Can you prove me wrong?” I asked, grinning wider and wider. She chuckled, putting her finger up to her chin as she thought of a possibility. She just looked up at me then, shaking her head.
“No, I don’t think I can.”
“See, I AM PERFECT!”
She laughed, her laugh was so cute, and Charles then came in, pushing a food trolley with our treats.
“Your breakfast, ladies.”
“Oh… thanks…” Grace said quietly, swallowing a little nervously as she looked at all the fatty food and gazed back at me, once Charles left.
“Go easy on the cake, Katie.”
“Are you saying I’m getting fat?”
Actually I was normal weight, but I loved to tease.
“No,” Grace said back, not seeming to get my joking, “I just want your arteries to be clean.”
“That’s why this food is dairy free, gluten free, fat free, sugar fre-”
“I get it,” Grace laughed and sat up too. She licked her lips as she looked at all the delicious treats. Until she saw the anniversary cake, and her cheeks went a little pinker in a blush.
“Oh…” she said, a small smile rising up her lips as she saw the anniversary gift. She looked at me, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me as she said.
“You remembered it?”
“Every year I do.”
“Great…” Grace said slowly, but her lips began to dip and I looked at her, a bit surprised to see her melancholy.
“Whoa, whoa! What’s wrong…?”
Grace just bit her lip, looking at me with pained eyes, before looking down to the ground and muttering.
“It’s just… every year that you remember it… every year it gets closer to ending.”
“Don’t think like that.” I said to her, my words determined to take away her sorrow, even if it was by demand.
She blinked, looking up at me before looking down again and whispering.
“But I have to.”
“Because, if you die… I die.”
My eyes widened in hearing this. What was she saying?
“What do you mean?”
“When you die… you’re gone… you disappear. And this world ceases to be.”
“We start over again. Me remembering everything, you forgetting. Because the world needs two observers, to observe each other… so I don’t want to remember how each year you get closer to dying. Because I DON’T want you to die!”
“I know.” I said, a little taken back by her shout. I thought the cake would make her happy, but all it made her was angry, and for once I was afraid of her. Because she was always so gentle… but this… this was the thing that broke her every time.
“I’m sorry, Grace.”
“Gracey…” she said to me in return, calming herself down that instant. As seeing me upset, made her feel even worse. “You know my name is Gracey…”
My fear instantly vanished, she was herself again in only a moment. And that is what I loved in her. Her softness, her warmth.
“I promise.” I said, crossing my heart as I said the words. “I swear, I promise, I’ll sacrifice my heart IF it makes you believe me… that I won’t forget you.”
Grace had tears being held around her eyes, and she just nodded her head. Though it was obvious she didn’t believe a word I said.
“Can we please just have some cake!” I begged, trying to change the subject and Grace held still for a second. Before nodding her head again, agreeing to this.
I loved her so much, and she knew it… but she also knew… it could one day vanish.
The years went by. They went by so quickly, it wasn’t funny.
We had an amazing life, the things we did, the adventures we had… but it didn’t matter.
Well it did. But yet it didn’t in a way, because in my heart, I knew Grace could never be a hundred percent in the moment… a hundred percent in bliss as I was.
I loved her, I loved her so much and I was so happy… but she struggled in the inside with the fear that the day was coming closer and we would have to begin again… me with no memory. Her… with them all.
I was getting older now… I did not like that fact. I was in my nineties. I just wondered HOW the hell I had ended up at this age so quickly. It wasn’t fair…
But Grace, it scared her even more.
We were still in our home, having maids and nurses looking after us. In fact they ADORED us, but it wasn’t the same.
My bones hurt, my body was weak… my joints cracked and ached.
And Grace… well.
She was still beautiful… that would never stop.
She sat on the lounge beside me, as we watched the huge theatre screen play a brilliant exciting new movie. I held her close to me. My heart fluttered still at her touch, and I know hers did the same at mine.
Our hair was grey now, our bodies worn and wrinkly. But we were happy, and we were beautiful to each other.
“I need… sleep.” I said quietly to her, yawning and wanting to close my eyes. She looked at me, nodding her head gently and replying.
“Let’s go to bed.”
“It was my idea…” I joked, and she gave a husky laugh, her voice old and crackly these days.
I got up but the moment I did, I felt a striking pain through my chest. In my veins… to my head and I heard Grace yell.
Before everything went dark.
I blinked my eyes, rubbing them with my small hands as I looked about the playground for my mother.
“Over here, dear!”
I grinned, running over to her. I couldn’t remember what I had been doing before. All I knew was I was Katie, that was my mum, and I was happy, playing with a bunch of kids.
“Mum!” I said to her with a bubbly smile, and continued. “I’m having so much fun!”
“That’s great, well, say goodbye to your friends… we have to get going.”
I eagerly nodded my little head and skipped back over to the toddlers, looking at them, a big smile on my lips as I said to the three.
“Well, my mum says we have to go now! But it was GREAT meeting you!”
“You too!” the little boy said, though I couldn’t remember his name and he continued. “See you soon!”
I looked up, smiling widely as I looked at the pale blonde little girl, and how her eyes shined with tears as she looked at me.
“Do you know who I am?”
“I was just playing with you, of course I do… er…?”
"Gra- Gra..." I paused for a second. I looked at her again, not fully understanding how this named registered with me. I looked at her... slowly.
“Your name is Grace?”
“That’s a nice name.”
She became quiet, looking at me with wise eyes, pained eyes, and I became nervous as I looked back at this girl… not having a clue what was wrong with her.
She reminded me of a grumpy old man that didn’t get his way and I said to her.
“I… have to go,”
I ran up to my mum, smiling all the while… but my little heart felt a little torn. I knew that girl somehow…
Though I didn’t know how.
“Who were you talking to, Katie?” My mum asked as I reached her, and I said.
“I don’t know… but yet… I think she lied to me about her name.”
“What did she tell you her name was?” My mum seemed curious as she asked this question, seeming to think that I was messing about, and I said.
“She said her name was Grace… but I know FOR A FACT… it’s… it’s Gracey.”
“Do you know her from somewhere..?” My mum asked hopefully and I stood there, thinking about it for a second before giving a small nod, then a shake.
“I know her… from somewhere… but it doesn’t matter. I don’t remember where.”
“Okay,” My mum said, smiling at me with such love as she said, holding my hand and we got ready to leave, “Well, maybe you’ll see her again.”
“Oh, most definitely.” I said, assured of that myself. “I bet I’ll marry her.”
“MARRY HER?!” My mum gasped, and I looked up at her, confused at her surprise to my words.
“Oh, yes.” I said, looking back at Grace and seeing the girl smiling at me, tears in her eyes… though I didn’t know why. I guess she was just being weird or something.
“Well…” My mother said to me, happy to hear this and we got in the car, ready to go home. “She just moved in next door.”
“Really?” I said in glee at this, my heart beating quickly faster at the thought of having that awesome girl just a house away.
I quickly became best friends with Grace, and we grew up together, joined by the hip. But I always felt she was keeping a secret from me, like she was holding back words on something that really mattered to her heart.
She asked me one day, when we were ten, a question I never seemed to think was important.
“How come you call me Gracey…?”
“Huh?” I said. We were in the park, having swung back and forth on the swings but were just swaying gently now on them now, as we talked to each other.
“Why?” she asked nervously.
I smiled at her, grinning as I said, “Because, that’s your name… no matter how much you try to deny it.”
She smiled back at me… but still seemed a little sad. She swayed back a little on her swing, and kept her hidden secrets to herself.
“Gracey?” I said quietly, wanting to ask something that had been on my mind for a while.
“Do you ever think… we knew each other in a past life?”
“Yeah…” Grace said, looking nervously back at me and I said.
“A world with dragons, and brooms and where anything is possible?”
“Yeah…?” Grace said, a smile rising on her lips, as she asked. “Do you remember such a world?”
Her words sounded like they had so much hope hidden behind them… and I ran the idea through my head… but even though there was knowledge there of such a world… nothing seemed to come to mind.
“No.” I said, but felt I lied with that answer. And I saw pain hide itself away in my best friend’s eyes.
“But I dream about it… as if it happened… and I know these dreams are different to the normal ones… because, they are so real.”
“Well… promise me this…” Grace said quietly, looking at me with a soft smile. It was happy, but also sad… but also the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I knew then I had a crush on her.
“Promise me, that you’ll remember me in the next life?”
“I could never forget you, Gracey…”
She smiled back at me, and nodded… a goofy perfect smile on her lips and she whispered.
“Race you to the gate and back?” I asked eagerly, and she nodded her head softly, tears hidden in her eyes.
“Hey, you wanna see a cool trick I learnt?” I asked as we both got off the seat, ready to start the race. Grace nodded, saying.
“Yeah, show me.”
I grinned, holding my hand before her. I waved my other hand over it, and an ice cream cone appeared in my grasp.
Grace seemed to be frozen stiff, and I looked puzzled at her, but just shrugged my shoulders. I gave it to her, shyly, and said.
“It’s for you.”
“…thanks?” Grace said, looking her young eyes up into mine, and asked, as she took a lick of the cone.
“How did you learn to do that?”
"I don't know... but you know something?" I said, waving my hand towards her as if to tell her a secret and she came closer, "I saw it on a- GO!"
I sprinted ahead, running with all my might, and just heard Grace run after me after a second. Laughing all the way.
It was a PERFECT day.
Katie had it all. College, great boyfriend, great friends, great life. But what if she really had nothing? A strange girl interrupts her life and she sees nothing is what she thought. And that the two of them are the only ones that matter. Lesbian supernatural short novelette.