The Doughnut Shop

The Doughnut Shop

 

by Daniel Hargrove

Published by Daniel Hargrove at Shakespir

 

Copyright 2017 Daniel Hargrove

 

Cover art copyright 2017 Daniel Hargrove

 

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

 

This book is published for anyone’s enjoyment. Authors retain the copyright to their work. Users may read, copy and distribute the work in any medium or format for non-commercial purposes, provided the authors and the journal are appropriately credited. The users are not allowed to remix, transform or build upon the published material.

 

Table of Contents

 

01) The Doughnut Shop

 

02) Fun Stuff

 

03) Feather

 

04) My Biggest Vice

 

05) A Sporting Chance

 

The Doughnut Shop

 

I forget

the name of the place,

but, man, the doughnuts were good

and not expensive at all.

They had apple fritters,

and twists,

cinnamon rolls,

and cinnamon sugar ones,

and the coffee was good, too.

Truckers liked to stop there,

and they had a big parking lot

it was out in the middle of nowhere

which is how I found it.

Next door was a pizza parlor

with deep dish pizza

or medium crust

and also thin crust

with pepperoni

and mozzarella

and black olives

tomatoes

and garlic bread.

I’m hungry.

Perhaps I’ll eat

some class analysis

a book by Marx or something.

 

Fun Stuff

 

I know all about

getting drunk.

I got drunk once.

I promise.

 

We split a bottle of rum

and the toilet sure was happy

with us

I did not flush.

 

At first,

we were a little drunk

and as the evening progressed

progressively more so.

 

One could probably

ignite rum

with a lighter.

I’ve never tried.

 

The rum was happy,

and we were happier than the rum.

The toilet was happier than we were,

and the shot glass was happiest.

 

Feather

 

A healthy native

eats his spinach

also his turnips

and his carrots

 

he eats his yams

and corn on the cob

or off the cob

and his pine nuts

 

he eats his acorns

and his berries

and his peaches

and chews his leather

 

he hunts the mighty deer

and the mighty bear

and the mighty rabbit

and the mighty squirrels

 

The squirrels get away sometimes

as they are given to

when a big, muscular guy

with a bow and arrow

creeps through the woods

 

My Biggest Vice

 

I curse,

it’s true.

I look at porn.

I drink coffee.

But I smoke.

 

I sit and smoke

a cifarette

and listen to Ozzy

the cigarette tastes

like a cigarette.

 

I have another

cursing my bad luck

and blow a smoke ring.

Looks good.

I like to blow smoke rings.

 

Smoking is a vice,

I know, I know

It’s expensive, too.

So is chewing gum,

or going bowling.

 

A Sporting Chance

 

Sports are healthy

though you might break an arm

a rib

or even a leg.

 

Perhaps you would break

your skull

or your spine

it’s happened.

 

Football is the only sport

worth watching, IMHO

Golf is for sissies,

as is skeet shooting

 

Competition makes strength

strength is good

and good is good,

which is how I broke my ankle.

 

The physical therapist

worked on the problem

I can walk now

I still can’t jog, though

 

Maybe you thought this was entertaining and maybe you didn’t, but think of me as the complaints dept., and drop me a line!

 

[email protected]

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