by Daniel Hargrove
Published by Daniel Hargrove at Shakespir
Copyright 2017 Daniel Hargrove
Cover art copyright 2017 Daniel Hargrove
Shakespir Edition, License Notes
This book is published for anyone’s enjoyment. Authors retain the copyright to their work. Users may read, copy and distribute the work in any medium or format for non-commercial purposes, provided the authors and the journal are appropriately credited. The users are not allowed to remix, transform or build upon the published material.
01) The Doughnut Shop
02) Fun Stuff
03) Feather
04) My Biggest Vice
05) A Sporting Chance
The Doughnut Shop
I forget
the name of the place,
but, man, the doughnuts were good
and not expensive at all.
They had apple fritters,
and twists,
cinnamon rolls,
and cinnamon sugar ones,
and the coffee was good, too.
Truckers liked to stop there,
and they had a big parking lot
it was out in the middle of nowhere
which is how I found it.
Next door was a pizza parlor
with deep dish pizza
or medium crust
and also thin crust
with pepperoni
and mozzarella
and black olives
tomatoes
and garlic bread.
I’m hungry.
Perhaps I’ll eat
some class analysis
a book by Marx or something.
Fun Stuff
I know all about
getting drunk.
I got drunk once.
I promise.
We split a bottle of rum
and the toilet sure was happy
with us
I did not flush.
At first,
we were a little drunk
and as the evening progressed
progressively more so.
One could probably
ignite rum
with a lighter.
I’ve never tried.
The rum was happy,
and we were happier than the rum.
The toilet was happier than we were,
and the shot glass was happiest.
Feather
A healthy native
eats his spinach
also his turnips
and his carrots
he eats his yams
and corn on the cob
or off the cob
and his pine nuts
he eats his acorns
and his berries
and his peaches
and chews his leather
he hunts the mighty deer
and the mighty bear
and the mighty rabbit
and the mighty squirrels
The squirrels get away sometimes
as they are given to
when a big, muscular guy
with a bow and arrow
creeps through the woods
My Biggest Vice
I curse,
it’s true.
I look at porn.
I drink coffee.
But I smoke.
I sit and smoke
a cifarette
and listen to Ozzy
the cigarette tastes
like a cigarette.
I have another
cursing my bad luck
and blow a smoke ring.
Looks good.
I like to blow smoke rings.
Smoking is a vice,
I know, I know
It’s expensive, too.
So is chewing gum,
or going bowling.
A Sporting Chance
Sports are healthy
though you might break an arm
a rib
or even a leg.
Perhaps you would break
your skull
or your spine
it’s happened.
Football is the only sport
worth watching, IMHO
Golf is for sissies,
as is skeet shooting
Competition makes strength
strength is good
and good is good,
which is how I broke my ankle.
The physical therapist
worked on the problem
I can walk now
I still can’t jog, though
Maybe you thought this was entertaining and maybe you didn’t, but think of me as the complaints dept., and drop me a line!