Most people dream of that once-in-a-lifetime love that only grows sweeter with time. Even if both partners are committed to one another, few couples actually enjoy a truly happy and enduring relationship.
Ever wondered how those lucky few do it? They’ve got a secret—seven of them, actually. In this eBook, we’ll explore the seven secrets to creating a union that is genuinely happy, healthy, and fulfilling for both partners. When these secrets are understood and put into action, good couples can become great couples, effortlessly standing the test of time.
To make the most of the seven secrets, both partners must truly want to go the distance. When couples work together with the same goal, they can craft the kind of relationship that endures, grows, and strengthens through the years. It takes time, effort, and commitment to traveling a road with a fair number of ups and downs. No relationship is easy, but the good ones are worth fighting and working for.
If you and your partner are currently on shaky ground, or you’re trying to get your ex back, the information in this eBook can help. But remember, not every relationship can be repaired. Some are simply too damaged to fix, or the two people in question are too incompatible to work well together.
Even if your current relationship is beyond redemption, you can still apply the seven secrets to your life. Use them to build yourself up and pave the way for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling union down the road.
So, what can you expect from this eBook?
Together, we will explore the seven secrets and learn how to put them to work in your relationship and your life. We’ll also discuss the differences between couples that are meant to last and those that face serious problems unless they begin working together to overcome obstacles.
We will also delve into conflicts and resolution. One of the biggest concerns facing almost every couple is how to handle disagreements, disputes, and outright fights.
When the fine art of conflict resolution is practiced by both partners, couples feel “safe” even during moments of contention. If both parties abide by the rules of conflict resolution, even major disagreements can be handled productively and respectfully. With the right techniques, it is possible to fight and have the relationship win.
Even if a relationship is on rocky ground, couples can often work through their issues to create a healthy, sound relationship. We will provide insight on navigating through a rough patch, even if your partner is a bit on the stubborn side or if medical conditions, such as depression, are clouding the waters.
Even the “best” couples may find themselves faced with repairing a struggling relationship. Lasting unions require a long-term commitment, through the good times and the bad. In this eBook, we’ll offer strategies for enjoying the great moments as they happen and weathering the storms when they strike.
Important Video: How To Master Relationship Conversation
Once you’ve watched that video, it’s time to continue with the 7 secrets!
The seven secrets of great relationships aren’t earth-shattering, but they are powerful. While they may seem simple and intuitive, many couples don’t realize their importance and take them for granted. Other couples may fail to put them into action because living up to them can be difficult at times.
Even when the going gets tough in a relationship, the seven secrets can set things straight. When both partners work together to uphold these lessons, they have the power to create an enduring and unbreakable bond.
If your partner doesn’t seem receptive to working out your problems, the seven secrets can still be applied to your own life. Do your part to put them into action, and their power may have a positive effect on your partner. Even if things do not turn out as you planned, the secrets can still guide you in future relationships, increasing your chances of developing that “once in a lifetime” love.
Now, let’s take a look at the seven secrets!
Solid, lasting, and trusting relationships are built on a foundation of honesty. Couples that make it through the long haul instinctively know they have the trust of their partners, because they have worked hard to incorporate honesty as a virtue of their relationships.
Honesty doesn’t necessarily mean brutal frankness at every turn, but it does require facing even uncomfortable moments head-on, answering questions truthfully, avoiding the keeping of secrets, and sharing important information with one another.
When honesty forms the foundation of a relationship, couples tend to feel safer, happier, and more fulfilled. Partners who want their relationships to go the distance work hard to maintain the trust they’ve developed together.
Honesty is a virtue, but it isn’t always easy to maintain. There are situations that can tempt you or your partner to break the trust you’ve established. Some of the key situations to watch out for when it comes to honesty include:
Money: This is a huge issue that can split apart even the most compatible couples. It is imperative to be completely honest about income, expenditures, and budgeting. When you and your partner work together as a team and don’t keep secrets from one another, you can weather even the most difficult of financial storms.
Children: While it’s perfectly okay for one partner to share a trivial “secret” with a child, it’s never a good idea for partners to hide important information or concerns about their children. Presenting a united front strengthens the couple’s relationship and demonstrates better parenting skills.
Outside activities: Even in the healthiest of relationships, partners need some time apart to pursue hobbies, go out with friends, and just be alone with their thoughts. This is perfectly normal, and even healthy. But if one or both partners spends excessive time away and/or fails to disclose their activities or whereabouts, the relationship could be in jeopardy. Be completely honest with each other about outside activities.
Honesty goes hand-in-hand with the next major secret: respect.
One of the key aspects of any good relationship—romance, friendship, or even co-workers—is respect. When people respect one other, potentially damaging issues are simply not blown out of proportion.
Respect does not always happens instantaneously in a relationship. It occurs when partners see each other for who they truly are. When there is respect for one another’s character, abilities, skills, and desires, couples are less likely to:
Fight – While disagreements may (and likely will) still occur, there is much less chance of the types of major, heated fights that can hurt feelings and cause serious damage to a relationship. With mutual respect, both partners will have a genuine concern for the other person’s feelings and well-being.
Name call – People who respect each other are less likely to stoop to name calling, sniping, or otherwise belittling their partners. The damage caused by these actions can be irreparable. Respect for yourself and your partner helps to prevent this.
Stray – Relationships based on trust and respect tend to be very empowering and fulfilling. The self-esteem boost that comes from mutual respect discourages partners from being unfaithful.
If there is a lack of respect between you and your partner, it’s time to examine the characteristics that first bound you together.
Make a list of the qualities – going beyond physical attributes – that attracted you to one another. Perhaps your partner is very caring and empathetic. Maybe you offer a lighthearted, humorous appeal. Or it could be that you were drawn together by a mutual interest or skill.
When you revisit the traits that attracted you in the first place, it’s easier to rebuild respect. It’s also a good idea to focus on the reasons you fell in love with your partner. In fact, that is the next secret of couples who share lasting, happy, and fulfilling relationships.
Love is perhaps the hardest emotion to define, but it is absolutely essential to healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationships. To achieve a truly enriching relationship, you and your partner must share genuine love for one other and work to keep its flames burning.
Love can be rather fickle, waxing and waning like the cycles of the moon. Still, when it is built on a foundation of honesty, respect and trust, it is incredibly resilient even during the most fragile moments.
If you and your partner love each other but are facing rocky times, you can use the power of love to rebuild your union. Try these suggestions for fostering love as a positive force in your relationship:
Say it: Make sure your partner never questions your love by taking the time to say it: in person, over the phone, and even in e-mails, letters, and notes.
Show it: This can be even more important than saying it. Express your love to your partner by showing caring, respect, and honesty in your actions. Do little things—
and even make a grand gesture now and again—to demonstrate your love and commitment.
Respect it: Love is powerful, but it can be damaged or destroyed by certain actions (or inactions). Respect the love you share with your partner by working hard to preserve and protect it.
Love between two people is a powerful force that generally can only be broken by one of the individuals involved in a relationship. When it is cared for and nurtured, it can make both parties stronger, happier, and healthier.
Passion isn’t something that ignites when a relationship is young and then fizzles out over time. Great couples who have forged happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationships know the importance of keeping the flame burning year in and year out.
Like love, passion can also fluctuate. Over time, physical attraction can lessen somewhat, and sexual desire may change or diminish. It is still possible, however, for couples to share passion even if the physical actions aren’t practiced as frequently or as vigorously as they once were.
Passion can also be expressed in the way couples hold each other, nurture their relationships, and value their togetherness. It goes beyond the physical to define the spiritual bond between two committed partners.
If passion is lacking in your relationship, there are ways to get it back. Before we go into depth about rekindling romantic passions, let’s discuss what you can do to tap into the fires that once fuelled your relationship:
Rediscovery – Remind yourself why you fell for your partner in the first place. Rediscover the traits that brought you together. Write down what you still love about your partner and why building a healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationship is so important to you.
Kindness – Do something out of the ordinary to show kindness and tenderness for your partner. Even something as simple as cleaning the house when she doesn’t expect it or arranging for tickets to his favorite sporting event can demonstrate your passion for your partner’s happiness.
Spontaneity – Passion and spontaneity go hand-in-hand. If your relationship has become too predictable, find creative ways to add some unexpected elements. Go out on the town on a weeknight. Take a weekend off to explore local hotspots. Sleep in late together and enjoy breakfast in bed. Just do something to break out of the “ordinary” routine together.
Passion is one of the most difficult relationship elements to maintain over the long haul. By working to keep those fires burning, you will strengthen your relationship and make it even more special. A key to making this happen is found in the next secret: communication.
Good communication goes beyond honesty and respect. It is an open line between two people who genuinely want to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It also involves working together to turn good ideas into great ones.
The importance of strong communication in a relationship cannot be stressed enough. When skills in this area are high, couples tend to thrive.
Learning the art of good communication takes time and effort. When the skill is mastered, a good communicator will also become a good listener.
When you and your partner communicate well, the benefits will be numerous. You’ll have greater confidence in yourselves as individuals and in each other, security in knowing that problems can be resolved, and a sense of fulfilment in having your voice heard (and in hearing your partner’s voice).
Communication is such an important topic that we will revisit it later. This skill is essential for overcoming conflicts, and it’s also a vital foundation for the next secret: friendship.
Long-lasting relationships tend to involve partners who started out as fast friends. While there are exceptions to the rule, friendship is an important secret that many couples share.
To truly enjoy each other over time, fulfil your respective needs for companionship, and experience a strong, healthy relationship, it’s important to share common ground and interests. When partners share enjoyable activities and demonstrate the same level of respect they show to their other friends, a powerful force is created. Mix this with love and a little passion, and you’ll have a recipe for long-term success.
If your relationship is currently suffering from issues, fall back on your friendship to regroup. By sharing common interests, you can work together to rediscover what makes your togetherness so special.
If you haven’t developed the bonds of friendship, try looking for some mutual activities to explore. Develop a hobby or outside interest together. Try something completely new and different. Just being together doing something fun and enjoyable can help you tap into the other aspects that comprise strong, lasting relationships.
Time spent together as friends bolsters your commitment to each other, while building onto the foundation you’ve established.
Men and women are only human, which is why understanding is a very important secret in good relationships. We all make mistakes, even when it comes to the person we care most about. Solid, healthy relationships have strong foundations that can withstand the occasional blunder.
Couples who have mastered the other six secrets tend to have a deep understanding of each other by default, respecting the fact that everyone will occasionally slip up, goof up, or otherwise fail to deliver.
Understanding between partners is what enables couples to withstand the pressures of day-to-day living and keep on smiling through adversity. By just being yourself, you will enjoy a sense of belonging and security.
If your relationship is on shaky ground or you’re trying to improve your connection, try adding some understanding into the mix.
Is your partner overwhelmed at work and cranky as a result? Does she survive on three hours of sleep because of small children keeping her awake? Have you ever clearly asked for towels to be hung up after use or dishes to be rinsed in the sink?
Understanding and reflection enable couples to overcome a bounty of difficulties and become stronger as a result. Try applying it in your relationship to strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
The seven secrets of happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationships aren’t necessarily secrets at all. The real trick lies in putting them all into action to build and foster the relationship of a lifetime. When all seven are in place, it’s the stuff of storybook romances (on most days).
It’s easy to see the differences between couples who know and practice the seven secrets and those who don’t.
Are you and your sweetheart on the right path, or are you headed for future problems? Even if you understand the seven secrets, it’s possible that both of you aren’t putting them into action in your lives.
There are some very specific characteristics that can help you identify a productive, forward-moving relationship and one that’s destined to hit some major bumps in the road ahead.
Even if a relationship is faltering, you can take measures to address the problems and put it on the right path. When you and your partner work together, value each other, and demonstrate respect, love, and understanding, some amazing things can happen, even in the face of adversity.
Let’s take a look at the characteristics that can indicate a relationship that’s on the right track and one that might be hanging on the edge.
Healthy couples look like anyone else, but they know the value of the seven secrets (and maybe a few others) and put them to work in their lives. They do the same things other couples do, but they often handle difficult situations differently, and take the time to appreciate each other and what they have built just a little bit more.
Here are some common situations healthy couples might face and how they would likely handle them:
Arguments – Even strong couples argue and maybe even fight… they just do it a little differently than those in a faltering relationship. Instead of letting every argument or disagreement turn into a relationship threatening situation, they choose to regard it as a temporary setback. They work together to get over the bump in the road and keep their sights on the future. Their faith in making it through even when they don’t see things exactly the same way marks them as a healthy, solid couple.
Money – Finances are a big deal in nearly every relationship. In healthy couples, both partners contribute to the relationship in one way or another. Even when one partner stays at home, he or she still adds value by managing the household and keeping extraneous costs low. Rather than argue about money or a lack thereof, healthy couples are honest about finances and work together as a team to tackle issues.
Secrets – Other than who they kissed at the junior prom, healthy couples don’t keep secrets. They trust each other enough to tell the truth, no matter how embarrassing. Of course, they work hard to avoid situations that may make keeping secrets more “convenient”.
Daily living – Healthy couples aren’t perfect, but they work together to make daily life smoother and more enjoyable. They respect each other and do nice things to express love, tenderness, and caring.
Outside friendships – Most healthy couples have friends outside of the relationship, although they don’t put themselves in awkward or potentially damaging situations. If an association has an appearance that could strain the relationship, they remove themselves from it. (For example, partners in a healthy relationship refrain from staying out too late without calling, meeting an ex for dinner, and so on). Outside interests that encourage individuals to grow are vital to healthy relationships.
On the surface, healthy, loving relationships look a lot like any other relationship. The differences are found in how two partners react to each other, treat each other, and the level of respect they consistently hold for each other – even when times are difficult.
People in faltering relationships—or those that have already split—may look a lot like their healthier counterparts on the surface. The differences become evident when they are faced with a rough patch. Using the same examples as above, here are some of the ways couples in trouble may handle the situations:
Arguments – Disagreements happen in all relationships. For unhealthy couples, however, they can be particularly damaging. Rather than working together to solve issues, partners may insist on “winning” all the time, every time. Or, one partner may dominate heated exchanges and be unwilling to let the other partner get a word in edgewise. Listening skills are often poorly developed, and there is an overt lack of respect. There is no attempt to see eye-to-eye or to reach a compromise. Very unhealthy couples may allow tempers to flare out of control, with hostile disputes sometimes leading to violence.
Money – This hot-button issue tends to flare up even hotter in unhealthy relationships. Partners may refuse to work together on financing. One or both partners may disregard budgets, hide purchases, lie about expenses, and more. Unhealthy couples may maintain their own financial accounts and fail to contribute to a joint account. Or, they may disregard prior arrangements to the detriment of the couple’s financial (and relationship) health.
Secrets – Unhealthy couples tend to keep secrets from each other about all sorts of things. Honesty and openness tend not to be a part of the relationship. Even small secrets can undermine trust, which forms the foundation of a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.
Daily living – Couples in relationships that are not inherently healthy could still have moments when they help each other out on a day-to-day basis. However, they may spend more of their time trying to please themselves instead of acting in the best interests of their partners and their relationships. It’s the difference between a team effort and a solo adventure with a sidekick along for the ride.
Outside friendships – In unhealthy relationships, outside friendships may be viewed as more important than the couple itself. More time may be spent with friends than with the partner, showing a lack of courtesy and respect. The other partner’s feelings, concerns, and needs may not be considered.
Unhealthy relationships may start off on a healthy foot, but then degrade over time. When couples work to rebuild solid foundations and operate with honesty, respect, and understanding, they can often overcome damage. When one or both partners fail to consider the best interests of one another in everyday life, potential disaster is imminent.
All couples fight. It is a simple fact of life that two people will not see eye-to-eye on every topic or point. It is also likely that both partners in a relationship will make mistakes or behave in certain ways that will cause friction, dissention, and even anger.
The difference between troubled couples and those who have healthy, loving relationships is in how the conflict is handled.
Strong couples use good communication skills to work together to reach a resolution. They understand that a single disagreement isn’t the end of the world, or their relationship.
Troubled couples may “fight to win,” refuse to share important information, decide not to listen to each other, or simply shut down communication during an argument. Any of these actions will prevent resolution of the conflict and may cause damage to the relationship.
Fortunately, conflict resolution is something that couples can learn. It involves many of the same skills as good communication. When they are practiced consistently, troubled relationships can be repaired over time. Even healthy relationships can become stronger when both partners use good communication and conflict resolution strategies.
Arguments are not damaging to relationships in and of themselves. In fact, when handled properly, they can make couples even stronger in the long run. What is damaging is how disputes are handled. Let’s talk about handling them in a positive, healthy manner.
Even if you and your partner are in a rough spot, these skills still apply. Use them personally and you may just find your partner noticing the change and acting in kind.
As we’ve said, arguments can actually be good for relationships. They allow couples to air their differences and learn more about each other. When they are handled with respect, both parties can “win” regardless of the outcome.
So, how can you fight so your relationship wins? It all comes down to using good communication skills and following the rules of fair engagement.
When issues, disputes, or concerns arise, it is best to address them as quickly as possible. There are two caveats, however:
When anger is high: If tempers are flaring and you or your partner can’t “think straight,” it’s not a good time to discuss disputes. Take a cooling off period and come back to the problem when you’re both calmer.
When there isn’t enough time: Trying to resolve a dispute five minutes before you have to leave for work isn’t the best idea. When you’re rushed, you run the risk of leaving important things unsaid. Make arrangements to discuss your concerns when there is more time. Later in the evening, after the kids go to bed, for example, you’ll be better able to give your conversation the attention it deserves.
Once you have time to work through disagreements and both you and your partner have calmed down, use good communication skills to handle the dispute while abiding by the following guidelines:
Clearly air the grievance: State the problem calmly and clearly, without accusation or anger. Rather than say, “If you spend another dime, I’m throwing you out,” opt for, “We need to work together to cut our expenses down.”
Listen to the response: One of the most important communication skills is good listening. Give your partner time to respond and listen respectfully, refraining from jumping in and interrupting.
Rephrase the response: To ensure that you and your partner understand each other, paraphrase the response. This will also show your partner that you were truly listening.
Work together on resolutions: Take turns bringing up ideas to resolve the concern. Remain calm and respectful as you explore possible solutions. Remember, every argument is different. In some cases, you will “win”, while in others your partner’s viewpoint will prevail. In other situations, you may reach a compromise. The outcome doesn’t necessarily matter as long as an agreeable resolution is reached. You may even agree to disagree.
Stick to the topic at hand: When grievances are being aired, don’t cloud the water with other problems. Stick to the topic, work on a resolution, take a breather, and then tackle the next issue if there is one. Also, refrain from bringing up previous arguments, as doing so only damages your credibility on the current issue. If the problem hasn’t been resolved, however, you can bring it up at a later time as its own concern.
Do not name call – Harsh words used in the heat of the moment can hurt more deeply than you know. Once unkind or spiteful words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. Avoid name calling at all costs and show respect for your partner while airing disputes.
Disagreements are bound to happen. When they are handled with respect and trust, they can strengthen bonds and develop the teamwork skills that are required in long-term relationships. When you work together to solve issues, both you and your partner will benefit.
If your partner isn’t agreeable to working out issues right now, follow the rules of communication and fair engagement yourself. You may find your partner reciprocating without his or her even realizing it.
Understanding the importance of the seven secrets and the need for using fair fighting and good communication is great—but what happens if your partner is stubborn, resistant, and refuses to play by the rules?
In some cases, you may be able to win your partner over. In others, however, you may need to seriously assess the value of your relationship.
When your relationship is struggling or has already ended due to the stubbornness of your partner, try these approaches:
Talk: Open up to your partner and express your desire to build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship. If you have already split up, state your desire to get back together and rebuild on a stronger foundation. Give your partner time to listen and respond. Not every relationship is salvageable, but many are if both partners work together.
Evaluate: Once you have explained your intent and your position and listened to what your partner has to say, take the time to evaluate your situation. If you and your partner are in trouble or have split up due to minor concerns, you may be able to overcome the issues by employing the seven secrets yourself. If your problems are more serious (cheating, violence, or total lack of respect), carefully evaluate whether your decision to stay and rebuild is the right one.
Encourage open-mindedness: If you have decided to work on your relationship, set the example by overcoming stubbornness yourself. Work on exploring all possibilities together. Learn to give and take, even on points you have been reluctant to concede in the past. Show your partner that you are willing to compromise and he or she may be willing to bend a little as well.
Stubbornness can be a major obstacle in building a healthy, strong relationship. If both you and your partner are willing to work at it, it is possible to overcome. The most important thing is to lead by example.
Depression, other forms of mental illness, and physical illnesses can all pose serious challenges to even the healthiest of couples. It can be very difficult—though not impossible—to overcome the damage they can cause to your relationship.
If both partners are willing, these issues can be overcome to save the relationship. The trick is caring for you, your partner, and your relationship as almost separate entities.
To help yourself when your partner is suffering from depression or another serious illness, remember that you are also an individual with your own needs. Studies have shown that people with partners who are depressed or physically ill can often mimic the symptoms. This is not healthy for you, your partner, or your relationship.
While it is perfectly acceptable to empathize with your partner, it’s important to focus on your own health. Maintain your own identity during an illness by keeping a positive outlook and doing things to boost your mood.
To help your partner, encourage medical intervention (if necessary), maintain an upbeat attitude, and rely heavily on the secret of understanding. Your partner is going through a very difficult time and can benefit from your love and compassion. Don’t enable, however—encourage your partner to get on a healthier path.
It is possible to get through a serious illness and come out stronger as a couple. Make sure medical treatment is provided and that the healthy partner stays strong and positive.
Taking care of yourself during an illness is not selfish. If you and your partner both have faith in your abilities to weather the storm, your relationship could grow even stronger in the process.
Relationships are like roller coasters: sometimes they’re up and sometimes they’re down. If you are in a struggling relationship or if a split has already occurred, it may not be too late to repair the damage. It is sometimes possible to rebuild and get yourselves on a positive path.
When damage has been done to a relationship, it can take time and serious effort from both you and your partner to repair it. It is almost never impossible to rebuild trust, respect, and love. The key is determining if the effort is truly worth it and if your heart is really in it.
Before beginning the repair process, you and your partner may want to give yourselves a little time. Evaluate your situation and look at it with fresh eyes to see where you’ve gone wrong, what you could have done differently, and how you might proceed to create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship.
You may decide not to proceed, but if you do, here are some tips to getting back on solid footing.
If you have evaluated your relationship and decided it’s worth salvaging, it may be possible to rebuild. Even if your partner isn’t 100 percent willing to put in the work at the moment, you can start the process on your own.
To begin repairing damage and build yourself up in the process, try these approaches:
State your intentions: Even if you have split up and are living apart, let your partner know you’d like to work on your relationship and rebuild it using the seven secrets. Admit your own mistakes, identify what you’d like to do to remedy them, and explain why you believe your relationship is worth salvaging.
Be patient: When relationships have not been built on a solid foundation, it can take some time to get a partner to buy into the notion of rebuilding. Refrain from pestering, badgering, or stalking. Allow your partner to soak in what you have said, what you would like to do, and why.
Work on yourself: Even if your partner isn’t ready to work on rebuilding, you can start the process through self-improvements. Make the changes in yourself you’ve deemed necessary, develop a positive attitude, communicate with your partner in a manner that follows the seven secrets, and learn to appreciate who you are and what you have to contribute to a loving, caring relationship.
Rebuilding a damaged relationship is never out of the question, although it takes time, effort, and commitment from both you and your partner.
Even if the process begins as a one-way effort, it can result in the desired outcome. If it does not, however, you can still make yourself a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled individual to increase the chances of a happier relationship down the road.
When you’re working on damage control or repair, communication is the most important tool for a positive resolution.
When interacting with your partner, use the same communication skills we discussed for conflict resolution. Learn to become a good communicator and an even better listener and your relationship will reap the benefits.
To communicate effectively with yourself, you may want to take some time to do some soul searching. To be a strong partner in a healthy relationship, you must be honest with yourself about your feelings, needs, dreams, hopes, and desires. If you are unable to clearly articulate what you need, your partner will never be able to deliver.
Take the time to explore yourself and become stronger and happier, and you will become a healthier force in your relationship.
Encourage your partner to do the same. Neither of you is a mind reader. Listen to what your partner needs, wants, and would like to become so you can reciprocate as much as possible.
In addition to being built on foundations of trust, friendship, and love, healthy relationships also have a strong component of passion and tenderness. Unfortunately, love can wane over time, and the fires of passion can cool off—or extinguish completely.
When relationships are faltering and couples lose their desire for intimacy, it is essential to regain these aspects of togetherness to strengthen the union. This doesn’t mean couples need to have sex every X number of days or walk around with “goo goo eyes” to enjoy intimacy. Healthy couples find simple ways to tap back into their love and refuel their passion for each other – emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Love is the most powerful force in a lasting relationship. When two people share it, magical things can happen. Genuine love fosters trust, caring, understanding, and a deep desire to work though even the most difficult times.
If love has gone out of your relationship or is starting to falter, it is not impossible to regain it. Couples tend to do better when they work on shoring up love together, but you can take steps on your own to tap back into this powerful emotion.
To reignite the flame and remind yourself and your partner why you fell in love in the first place, try the following:
Remind yourself of the traits that drew you to your partner. What is it about him or her that made you fall in love in the first place? What traits have developed over time that endeared you even more?
Remind yourself of the traits your partner fell in love with. Beyond appearances, what was it about you that attracted your partner? Is it possible to accentuate these traits to remind your partner of the feelings that bound you together in the first place?
Remain positive. Positive people are attractive to others. Work on adopting an upbeat, optimistic attitude toward yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Practice self-affirmations, refocus your thinking, and recognize the possibilities rather than the roadblocks.
Express your feelings. Saying you love your partner is important, but showing it is more vital. This is especially so when a relationship is strained or damaged. Be considerate of your partner in your actions, take the time to do nice things for him or her, and take care of yourself as well. Express your feelings of love and work to foster its presence in your life. When you appreciate your partner and your time together, you can rekindle the powerful love you once shared.
Love is one of the most important influences in your life together as a couple, but it isn’t the only powerful force. Passion for your relationship and your partner is also essential.
When passion dies, many relationships die right along with it. Even if you can’t envision you and your partner enjoying the kind of unbridled passion you may have enjoyed in your younger days, you can still bring this powerful force back into your relationship.
Passion involves not only sex, but also other forms of intimacy. Touching, holding hands, cuddling, and sharing intimate thoughts are all important as well.
To bring this incredible sense of togetherness and unity back into a faltering relationship, try these strategies:
Openly share desires: Encourage an open line of communication about sex, romance, personal desires, and even fantasies. Share your desires with your partner and encourage the same out of him or her.
Add spontaneity: In many cases, passion and spontaneity go hand-in-hand. Even small gestures can bring you closer together. Cuddle while watching a movie at the end of a long day. Hold hands on car rides. Share a kiss under the moonlight. Just try to do things a little out of the ordinary to strengthen your connection.
Strive for romance: Romantic gestures – big and small – can do incredible things for passion. Schedule date nights, send flowers, make a special meal, lie outside under the stars, rub your partner’s back, draw a warm bubble bath at the end of the day. Just take the time to do thoughtful things that show you still care and want to remain close and passionate.
Improve your outlook: Passion is a state of mind. To develop your own passion for life and love, work on that positive attitude we talked about earlier. Do things to boost your own self-esteem and work on making yourself a stronger, healthier, and happier person. As a result, you may appear more attractive to your partner, fueling the passion between the two of you.
Love and passion are important parts of healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationships. Even if they have diminished, they can sometimes be reignited and made even stronger than they originally were. When you and your partner work together to build on them, amazing things can happen.
The seven secrets to a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship are the building blocks for creating a lasting union. When both you and your partner work on developing them, you can enjoy an enriching and enjoyable life together.
Even if you and your partner have split up or are on shaky ground, the seven secrets can help you rebuild and create a relationship that is stronger and better than it was before. If your partner is willing, share the secrets and work on them together.
As powerful as the seven secrets are, however, remember that not every relationship has the potential to become healthy, happy, or fulfilling. Be honest with yourself in this regard, but continue to put the seven secrets to work in your life as an individual.
Even if your current relationship doesn’t work out the way you’d like, you can use the seven secrets to make yourself a stronger, more attractive, and healthier person. The end result just might be a future relationship that provides you – and your partner – with the honesty, respect, understanding, love, passion, communication, and friendship you both deserve.
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The 5 top signs that a relationship is in trouble, and what it SHOULD look like instead. The dynamic of a faltering relationship and how you can right the ship before it starts to sink. The 7 secrets to building relationships that last, and how you can start using them today to rebuild your relationship... even if you've already split up. The mistakes you and your loved one are making right now and how to put a stop to them before they destroy everything you've built. How to quickly rekindle the passion in your relationship... even if you think it's gone for good.