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Perspiration drips from my body onto the crumbly dirt underneath me. Its pruning season and I want my snapdragon to grow. My entire life has been about trying to unfold my mother, secret to our shocking, she did after getting stung by a bee. She never knew nor did we that she was allergic to them .Flower petals falls onto the ground as I snap away. She took the secret, of who my biological father is, with her to the grave. I personally hate women, who do that to their children, it’s completely unforgivable in my book .I glace over the garden to see if Clay is anywhere in sight. Earlier on the phone he said that he would drop off my airplane tickets. The heat is unbearable. I don’t know how people in Arizona do it?” Harper” Clay says. “Over here”. I say.
Clay makes his way over to me. He tells me all the time that he doesn’t know how he won me over. The truth is I don’t know what he saw in me. I’m average looking with black hair. I’m an ordinary girl who love worshiping Jesus and fashion. I also happen to love a great doughnut every now and then. He cups my face and kisses me. Our plane leaves in an hour, come on, “he says. I’ll meet you in the car. I say. I rise to my feet, leaving the dirt stains on my knee I run through the open path that leads to my front porch. I place my royal leather bag over me and grab my oversized suitcase. And I meet Clay in the car. He drives us to the airport nearly killing me in the process. He acted like he forgot how to drive. Thanks to him I kissed the nasty pavement because I was just so grateful to be alive. The sound of business and taking off of airplanes fills are ears. I bumped into a giant of a man on our way over to the line. His nose flared as he looked at me with death in his eyes. I said I was sorry, but I guess that wasn’t good enough for him. Because I felt his death gaze on me, up until we boarded the plane.
Up in the air I get motion sickness so that little brown paper bag that I packed up came in handy. Clay catered to me the entire time. I was the girl that nobody ever wanted to sit next to on an airplane. The smell of my own vomit made me vomit more. I did everyone on the airplane a favor I took NightQuil and as soon as the warm liquid touched the surface of my throat I was out cold. Hours later, my eyes flicker open just as we were landing.
Departing from the airplane, we run into Bird Clay neglected to tell me that she will be joining us. The people in the airport were super nice and friendly. If I didn’t know any better I would think that I would on screen to Stafford wives. Everyone from the women, men and children looked perfect a hair was not out of place. Their teeth were straight and bright. And their smiles were perfected. And everywhere you turned you were greeted with the warmest hug ever. Moriah an elder Lady. She reminded me of my grandmother, she was lively, loud and one heck of a dresser. We exit the doors with are belongs in hand. I exhale, then inhale the cherry scented air. Clay waves us down a taxi cab.
Are taxi cab strolls through a familiar; childhood gray stone bridge and fertile landscape as it takes us up the mountain. I sense Clay eyes on me so I smile. “You know what we have to do once we arrive “ He says. “ I’m sure the whole world no clay” Bird says teasing him. He elbows her on her side. “ Hey bolts out of her mouth. Harper you better get your boyfriend “. I roll my eyes. “ Clay I whispers inside of his ears.
“ If you keep it up your going to be sleeping outside with the birds”. A laugh escapes me. Are ride stops in front of the lonesome glass wood house. Exaggerated lily’s encircles the yard, I’m the first one out. My eyes wander around the area I find myself twirling as the wind rushes into me. I don’t knock on the door like a normal person would do. I let myself in Inside then I scuttle upstairs to the outside balcony. Over the years, this balcony has become my second home and favorite location. Magical things happen here and I’m not talking about black magic. I lift my Godfather renowned songwriter, guitar and run my emaciated long fingers over it. The sun glimmers down on me as the skies open up.
[Lord, I am here for you /I am here to sing your /Praise Children and Adult’s / love you were in awe of you.
Arises from my mouth. I make the melody up as I go. Jesus you’re holy holy holy/ Lord you’re might mighty /With our hands held high / you inhabited are praises /Jesus you’re holy holy/ holy .We sing to you /with song and dance/ through the beat /of love that flows from within.]
Clay is on his knees in surrender with lifting hands. Bird on the other hand is no longer on earth.
I can’t keep my Dr Martens boots on the ground because his presence is so sweet A gush of rushing wind embraces us. I twirl and twirl for days. And yes, I’m dizzy, but I don’t mind. A vision breakthroughs and the joy of the Lord becomes are new praise.
The joy of the lord is my strength. Fills the air. At some point are worship session wind-down and were all giggling. Are hair is a mess because of the wind haste. Every three second my hair whacks me in the face. I giggle some more I just can’t help myself. We leave the terrace we end up idle in the living room. The loudness of someone inflowing breaks Are idleness. We leap to our feet like little curious children. Songwriting awards cover the passing dark walls. My vast blue eyes twinkle twice because I can’t believe the image I see.
“ She’s sweet is she yours”. Slips vivacious from me. My Godfather eyes widen.
“She’s sweet is she yours”. The little girl repeats with her big blue eyes on me. Laughter fills the hallway. “I see we have a little mocking bird on our hands”. I say.“ No, she’s my niece were babysitting”. She skips over to me and squeezes the life out of me. My color leaves me.
“ We’re going to be besties forever, ” she says. I scoop her up and smooch all over her cuteness. My Godfather cheeks raise. “ Harper I’m Glad you’re here, she’s busy, “ he says. Her petite ruby lips, perky up and her forehead wrinkles. “ Isn’t she adorable”. Debby says, chuckling at the same time. My eyes glances over Debby.
Her skin is flawless as well as her hair and her eyes are deep Debby can see through your soul. With those eye’s of her’s. “ Yes, she is”. Bird says, taking her from me. Bird makes the most bizarre faces at the little girl. “ Bird stop before you give her nightmares”. I say. And laughter fills the room once more. “Harper My favorite person, it’s so good to see you, it’s been what three years”. He says. He kisses my cheek afterwards he and his wife walks away, leaving us alone with the child.
Six eyes are fastened on her every move. “ Hi, I’m Lily because I’m God’s Lily of the alley”. She says. We exchange looks before. Snickering ruptures. Through her long curly lashes she peeks at us and her eyes are drifting all over. “What”. She says.
Unknown birds to me soar through the sapphire heavens they’re a little too noisy for my liking. Lily through child’s eyes and wander blissfully darts after them. Lily’s heart shape head, two ponytails and chubbiness remind me of someone. Lily’s pony tails bounces ecstatically in the air. Clay leans his forehead to mine and steal a kiss. “Gross” she hollers. Clay and I smile.
She subsequently comes tugging on my blouse. I lose my balance descending forward to the ground. Luckily my godfather arms leans down in time to catch me. “Sorry she’s strong for her age”. He says. Grinning ear to ear. He helps me to my feet. “Sorry Harper”. She says with puppy dog eyes, “It’s okay”. I say. My godfather tilts his head, trying to seize my attention. “ Excuse me”. I say to Clay and Lily “.
“Don’t be too long they say in harmony”. I hear chortle behind me. My eyes stroll around as I was on my godfather trail. He leads me inside and upstairs to the dusted attics. My gaze tapers on him. It doesn’t look like anyone was up here in ages. Gigantic Spider webs cover the attic wooden corners. My eyes inspect the abundant boxes stacked high. This place is a hoarders dream. And my worst nightmare. My godfather proceeds to the left, he dust of a box with his hands then digs in. My long legs stride over to him.“Harper when your dear mother asked me to be your godfather I was flabbergasted”. He peeps up at me every now and then between perusing. ‘Why’. I say being nosy. “Because she wreaked my heart and burned it, then throw my ashes around town”. He says with a sober face. My jaw drops.
Revealing my unperfected teeth. The environment alters and if I could fly out of here I would. My knees hit the floor. Why is he telling me this submerges my mind, I wonder if the sight of me makes him sick. Because my mother and I are identical. My godfather yaks on. “You look just like her. The only difference is your skin complexion”. I lower my head in my hands. Thinking this can only get worst. “Here it is”, he says, rubbing the dust off with his hands. I stare at him, then at the dusty black leather book. He hands it to me. Then runs his finger through his shiny hair will what’s left of it. My godfather has a patch of brown hair in the center of his head while the rest is shaved thin.
I analyze his appearance and my gaze resides on his brown Boss Hugo leather jacket. He catches me.
His left brow rises up “ Harper, are you day dreaming about me again”. He says, teasing me he rises to his feet. “ Here, let me”. I say. I set the book down. “ How did you know I used to daydream about you”? I say. Striking the fifth from his boss Hugo Delaware jeans. He smiles and shows his teeth. He smiles just like Theo James.
“ Now if I told you that I wouldn’t still be here. “You’re good”. I say collecting the book in my hand and uprising to my bottoms. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, then pulls me into a cuddle.
“ No Moses Sharped”. I say sternly. “ Who told you”? I say demanding more than asking. He kisses my forehead. Out of no where something or someone skyrockets past us. My heart hammers hard inside of my chest. “ What was that”? I say before the sound of mirth occurs. “ Ha ha ha it was me”. Lily says. She’s tickled pink to the core. She toddles over to us with jeweled eyes.
“ Did I scare you guys “? She asks. “ My daddy does it to me all the time”. She says, peering up at us. “ Your daddy’s mean”. Tumble out of my mouth. “ Harper”. My godfather says, nudging me in my side.
“What”? I squeak out. Also that hurt follows. I feel where it hurts at. “ I know girlfriend right”? She says. With her tiny hands on her none hips. She doesn’t talk like she’s three years old. “Where does, she gets this from”? I aks. “ “ Beats me, ” he says. Upsetting screams arrives.
In the attic. I glance down because I feel lily snug grip on me. She’s holding on for her dear life. My godfather relaxes features are now uneasy. His eyebrows are raised and drawn close. “Lily its ok”.
He says, stroking her back soothingly. Before I can get a word out he sprints out of there. The only thing you see is a series of his shoe prints that were left in the dust.
I collect lily and go downstairs with her. “What’s going on, “ I ask. Looking at both Clay and Bird. Who both have concerned looks on their faces. “I don’t know she seemed fine until she entered the bathroom”. He says. “ The bathroom”. I say. Pondering what he just said. “ What’s that”? He asks. Squinting down at the book. His eyes are so close that they look shut. Without asking he takes it from me and flicks through it. Bird is at it again making obnoxious looks at lily. What did this little child ever do to you fills my mind. Clay shoots me a look. “What’s wrong”? I say. “You won’t believe this”, he says, holding the book up so that I can see. “ On no she has that look”. Bird says, taking lily from me. I snatch the book from his hand, my eyes broaden in their place. “My my Mother and Moses were Lover”. I say before tumbling over. Blackness surrounds me, I soon feel throbbing pain. Warm small hands smacks’ me all over my face. “ Harper, Harper Haper wake up, “ Lily says, then says Is she dead”. My eyes blink open.
I press my ear up against Moses and Debby bedroom door. Its voiceless then the wailing begins. My spirt breaks for her her cries are anguish I clutch tight onto my gold cross neckless that dangles from my long neck. With each cry my heart breaks. I listen to every word. “ How could this happen to me us again”. “I really thought this time would be different I had faith a lot of faith”. “ Baby I don’t know why this passage in are life has always been so dry”. “But I know first hand that when things get threatening you don’t lose hope, you turn to God and surrender”. “Maybe its time for us to surrender to God are desiring for a baby”. I hear the wood cry. So I pull back from the door. Are eyes meets he half’s smile to me.
Before walking away. It looks like he’s heading to the kitchen so I follow him. In the kitchen, he pours himself a cup of steaming tea the steam swirls tall in the air. Next he sits down at the square table. The smell of cinnamon remains in the air. “ Harper God exposed something to me”. He says. Blowing on his tea to cool it down. “ Hold that thought”. I say. I pour myself a cup of tea. I couldn’t resist the cinnamon any longer. I slump down next to him.
I sip my tea before offering him my full awareness. I rest my elbows on the tabletop. He smiles and my innocent childhood crush come back. “ This whole time your mother had me believing you were born in the year two thousand”.
I press my lips together as my eyebrows frown. “Don’t feel bad Moses mother lied to all of us”. “She had me believing for a real long time that a dead man was my father”. “The numbers didn’t add up”. I say. I finish my tea up I feel the table tremble underneath me. “ I can’t believe she lied to you about that”. He spits out. His eyelid becomes tight and straight and his lips to.
I get a weary feeling. “ This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass, I say over and over in my head. I don’t like it, when’s his maid actually no one does. He looks at me like it’s his very first time “Why are you looking at me like it’s your first time”. I say rising up.
“ Because it’s like I’m really seeing you for the first time”. “You just mirrored a move I know too well”. I choke on my own spit. Is he saying what I think he is. “Your mother could lie to me about her age and your birth year”. “But she shouldn’t have lied to you, about something so series something so significant”. “ I so hope she repented of her sins before she left this earth”. He says. “Your mother may be gone, but her secret is still alive”. “I don’t mean to talk ill about your mother, I would never want to hurt you like that”. He says. Looking me deep in the eyes. I choke back “ Do you think she knew Jesus”. I ask. His eyes lower he places a hand over mine “. Harper your mother was a sinner just like the rest of us”.
“And yes, she did confess with her mouth that Jesus Christ, is Lord and she believed in her heart that God raised him from the dead”. I try to fight back my tears, but I can’t so they come. “ Then why was she a repulsive liar”. I say. Dabbing my tears away. My legs quiver. “ Harp”. He says. “Come here”. I bury my face into his shoulders. “I know you’re older now, but the love behind it is never changes”. “ As a baby you loved it when I sang this to you”.
“Hush little baby don’t you cry, you’re godfather going buy you a rocking guitar and if that rocking guitar doesn’t play your godfather going to be you a flying car and if that flying car doesn’t fly your godfather”. He stops and looks at me. Through sniffles I smile. He always knew what to say and do to make me laugh and feel better again. “ Moses Baby”. Debby calls from somewhere else inside the house. “I’ll be back, he says in a whisper.
I look out the window as the magnificent sun sets. I don’t know how to explain it, but strangely, I’m drawing outside. To the stillness and darkness of the night. Not many stars are out. The scenery is magical in all its glory. The colossus maintains surrounds me on both sides. Psalm nineteen comes to my mind. I bow my head and close my eyes, I pray.“ God, thank you for being my God and a loving father”. “ Yes, Lord”. Clay says in a mummer. I think to myself where did he come from. The thought quickly leaves me. “ Lord, we are here just for you we want to adore you and worship you with song and dance. “Yes, Lord”. Clay says high in spirit. “We love you with all of our hearts, minds and soul”. “Lord, we love you”. He shouts so loud with exhilaration. That his voice bounces off of the mountains. The Holy Spirit stirs up inside of me.
“Draw near to us God as we draw near to you”. Your love God you’re amazing, beautiful saving love”. We both grab acoustic guitars. “My hope is in you lord / I trust you with all that I am / I will not be put to shame”. “I will see the goodness/ of my God in the land / of the living”. oh oh, I will not be put to shame / I will see the goodness / of my God in the land /of the living”. “His word will not fail/ they uphold the universe / and his promises he keeps / he deliver”. Oh, oh, I will not be put to shame / I will see the goodness / of my God in the land of the living . “My heart cries out / you’re a good good god”. “Oh my hearts cry out / you’re a good good god”. Like a volcano the words Erupts from a deep place inside of me. Are voices carries high. His creation joins in as we worship him. The trees bow in motion. We lose our self in worship. My feet do not stay on the ground at all. I love being in the air when he shows up and off. In his presence I really come animated. The weight of his presence keeps us down. So we just soak in it. There’s noting like his presence. You can’t see it, but you can feel it just like the wind. What an amazing God, and father that we have, in his love he thought of, in his love he saved us.
I close my eyes, hoping for a vision when one doesn’t come immediately I just wait on him longer, but time passing and still I receive nothing. I open my eyes, then roll over on my side Clay is gone. That’s weird, I don’t remember him saying anything to me at all then again, I was in my own world. I grab my cell phone from my back pocket and text him. Thanks for ditching me here by myself. I place my cell phone back into my back pocket. The lights in the living room flicker on and off they catch my attention. I rise and go inside. As I approach the house I see a familiar heart shaped pint-sized head. “ Jesus shouldn’t she be asleep its late”. Inside the house, she springs up and down on the couch. Her potato flower pajamas cling to her. Her, hair is up in a messy bun. “You sing just like your daddy”. She says jumping about. “My daddy”. I say to myself. “Lily, who do you think my daddy is”? “ I say. Moving in closer to hear her. “ Uncle baby”. She says jumping like there’s no tomorrow. My Nose and forehead wrinkles. I stand there trying to figure out who she might be referring to. “ Lily’ why did you lie to me”, my God father says. Still halfway asleep, he has bed hair and probably bad breath. “ Her singing was calling me”. She says. She continues to jump. “She sounds just like you, uncle Bobby when she sings”. I bit my lower lip to keep me from freaking out. “Lilly”. He says seriously-mined. She stops jumping. The Inner corners of her eyebrows are drawn in and upwards, her little lips pout her eyes hurls down. She treads slowing towards him. Poor thing, I was once hers. “ Uncle baby she didn’t mean to lie to you”. I say.“ His head is held back. “ Uncle Bobby, he says”. “ Sorry”. I say. “ Where were you”? I went back to the kitchen and you were missing in action”. He says.
“ Sorry I was worshiping”. I say walking over to lily I lean down and kiss her Goodnight. Her frown turns into a lopsided smile. “Goodnight beautiful”. I say. “ Goodnight older men”. She says to her delight. My godfather smiles. “ Tomorrow Harper meet me here “. He says. Before him and Lily, leaves him kiss the top, of my hair. I always found that strange.
Chapter Six The weather is playing, with my emotions, and I’m already emotional. I don’t have time for this. One minute it’s warm with sunlight the next it’s gray and cold. My heart beat keeps increasing: the further I run down the road, my mind keeps revisiting, what lily said to me. I stop and stretch every two miles. My workout outfit is a little snug on me. I don’t recall putting on a few pounds. It had to be the doughnuts. The weight always creeps on me later. I stop to catch my breath. My friends come zooming past me. Where did they come from they never woke up this early to run. They were always too lazy and out of shape to do so. Show off. I shout after them. I decide to end my run. I always looked funny running anyways. I look down, the road, I didn’t realize how far I run. Jesus helps me say, gasping for air. I never needed this much air before. "Harp". Debby says. Approaching me. Something About Debby felt different. I just can't put my finger on it. " You look like you can use some help". She says. I hesitate at first, because she's tiny, and I don't want to break her. But I end up on her back anyways. For a small lady she sure has strength. We don’t talk much in the beginning, so my eyes wander around on the birds in the sky to the little rabbits and squirrels that passing us by. My creator holds the world and me in his hands. His creation is picturesque. Boredom overtakes me so I do what I do best, I worship him while admiring his creation. "There will be a day /when -we're forever with you / in our heavenly home . [_ The spirit and the / bride say come /Lord Jesus come". "Oh the dead / will rise first /when you come /to take us home .You will be/ in your glory /and all will see /and every knee will bow”. “And every mouth will confess /you are lord, you will wipe / are tears away”. “And there will be / no more pain/or suffering on that great day / . “Oh lord the”. “Spirit and the bride / say come, Lord /Jesus come". The leaves sway back in front. I sing another song. "I don’t have much- to give as an offering / but this song". "I sing lord / take me to your well / I need refreshing . ".”Your spirit dwells / within me / Lord I come / to your feet there”. “I find healing / there you restore me / Lord, I don’t have much”. “To give but this song /I sing so may you find / it pleasing to your ears". _] I open my mouth to sing another word, but where there. I step down. Debby smiles. “You have nothing to worry about”. “You will be okay”. She says. “Your heavenly father, loves it when you sing to him”. “He calls you his songbird”. She says. Then waves goodbye to me. I stand there in awe, thinking why did she, just wave goodbye to me, she lives here. I watch her as she enters the house.
MY eyelids flash open. As I lay down on the couch. Today feels abnormal something, vast is going to be revealed. It always does when I feel this way. Frist comes the weirdness followed by the astonishment. Lily decides to hop on my stomach. Dose she needs a reason she’s only three years old. “Lily apologizes to Harper”. Debby says. “I’m sorry”. She says with a smile that’s as big as the sun. She plates a messy kiss on me. I want to wipe it off, but I don’t want to offend her. I notice Debby; exquisite yellow gold gown. The gown reveals her best body assets. Wherever she’s going, she was going to knock them dead. I could never get away with that low back cut. Lilly grabs my face. “Doesn’t she look beautiful”. She says. Admiring her auntie. “Yes, Debby you look, amazing in that dress, Are you and Moses; going somewhere nice? I ask. “Me and your godfather no”. “But me and my Dad, yes”. She says. “Oh, this is for you”. She says. Collecting a folded piece of white paper and a brown box. From the table.
“They were addressed to you; they were just sitting on the front porch. She says. Making eye contact with me every chance that she gets. “Also clay wanted, me to let you, know that he, and Bird went, to explore the town,
you were asleep, and looked cute, so he didn’t want to wake you”. She says in between, fluffing the couch, pillows and area. Lily’s hot on her tail doing the same. “Moses will be back in a few”. She says. Her eyes are rested on me.
“I just want you to know”. “That Moses is crazy about you”. “And even though we: cannot have a child of our own”. “We think of you as are child”. “And ever since you were a baby, you brought, joy into, our, lives”. She gushes. She blinks back the tears in her eyes. I rise from my position, I go to hug her I trip over my own two feet.
“Oh Debby never lose heart, God has a way of surprising us when we less expect it”. Lilly joins are hug session. “Praise God for family and love”. She says doing what she does best jumping. “Come now Lilly my father is waiting for us”. She says. “Ok”. Lily says. Taking her hand. At the door, she looks back and waves goodbye to me. I wave back.
Afterwards, I curl up on the couch and make myself cozy. I grab the folded piece of paper and open it. My eyes roam every word on the page. The paper reads. My Joy my delight, I never meant to hurt you, all of these years, with that little white lie, that I told. I imaged over time that it only, grew. I shake my head in agreement. I lied because, I didn’t know what the truth, would enfold. My eyes enlarge. I hope you can find it in; your heart to see where I was coming from. I look up heavenwards. “So do I “. I continue reading I was young, foolish and naive, nobody could tell me anything. Harper after reading this, you will know, who your biological father is. I love you with all I am. Mom the paper signs.
God your timing never surprising me, I say scanning the living room for something sharp.
My eyes come across a pen mate ink pan. It’s not exactly the sharpest thing in the world, but it will have to do. My hands shake with anxiety. I tore through the box like it’s from Tiffany and Co. Behold a gold card with no inscription on it.
I grab it, I hurry it inside of the Televises. My mother’s face appears on the TV screen. I look over, my shoulders, because I hear my Godfather .Approaching his cologne of citrus, woods and black pepper. Makes its way up my nostril. I grab the remote with shaking hands. With one click the screen goes black.
I flop down on the couch. Just as he enters. I smile just because it’s the normal thing to do, I hope that my eyes don’t give me away. I do a double glaze. He’s sporting a Hugo boss black suit. Also, his patch of hair centered on his head is slick back. He sits down next to me. He smiles, open mouthed. His eyes are wide they narrow on me. “I did a little research”. He says. With a hand on his chin. My mouth opens curiosity springs up inside of me. “I was so furious with what you told. Me”. “The other night”. “That I couldn’t just let it go”.
My eyebrows raise and come together. I’m literally setting on the edge of my seat. These thoughts enters my mind should I tell him what I know. What did he discover? Are eyes meet. “It took me eighteen years, but I finally got the truth”. “Out of your stubborn grandparents”. He says and to my wonder I end up on the floor. Doubt rises up in me, I have second thoughts.
Do I really want to no yes the truth does set you free because the Lord says so. But the truth also can wreak you if you let it. One of my eyebrows rises, higher than the other. I think long and hard. About this. I stand to my feet, but I look away. My facial expression, always give me away. “Harp do you care to share”. He says. I shake my head no. I hear him getting up. “Harp you know that you can tell me anything”. “Yes, Moses I know that”. I say. Still glancing down. I never noticed before how polished their floor was. My Dr. Martens booths look good on them. “Harp”. He says, pacing my way. “It’s just you should watch, this first”. I say staggering over my words. I grab the remote. “Harp what is it”. He says. “You’ll see”. I say. I hand him the remote. “Whatever happens and whatever the truth is, I don’t want there to be any weirdness between us ok”. I say. “Harper, I don’t need to watch anything to know, actually the very moment, I laid eyes on you, I knew. I jump back. No way, no way rolls through my head. His teeth are exposed. My heart does something funny. For the very first time.
And he says “Harper Goldie I’m your father. My eyes broaden in their place. He just dropped the biggest bombshell in my life, I’m quite for once in my life, strangely my feet, are pulling me, in a different, direction. Once I reach the doorway, I run.
The icy air, greets me and prickles my throat, I swallow. I need to be close to God right now. This truth this new revelation, overwhelms me. My mother, secret is finally revealed. Was it God doing?
Deep down in my heart, I know that it was. He answered my greatest heart’s desire. I no longer have, to image who my father is, and now I have a dad who can walk me down the aisle, and dance with me, on my wedding day. I know I said that I didn’t want anything to be weird between us. But there might just be. He’s my father and I had the biggest crush on him. I shake my head. I’m disgusted. I have a knowing my life won’t be the same. Also can I forgive my mother? I know I have to but will I be able to. I come across, a beautiful towering tree. The leaves and color are like no other. The leaves are velvet and leather. Also the colors of the, leaves are, alive and splendid. A quiet breeze blows past me. I turn my head around, in the distance I see, a figure of someone. As the figure gets closer and closer to me, the image becomes crystal clear in my sight. Memories of my run come to my mind. She smile. God you sent, an angel too, help me it, wasn’t Debby at all. I look at the towering trees, one last time before climbing it.
It looks challenging but once my boot touches the bark. I’m unstoppable. I don’t dare to look down. Because I have a fear of heights. But there is something, about being up high and in nature with God. It doesn’t take long, for me to reach, the top branch. My eyes behold the sky.
I pray. “Abba father draw near to me; as I draw near to you, just like your word promises”. Something remarkable happens. A blinded light flashes down right before my eyes. Seven doves turn, up from out of the blue.
They ring around the light. If I’m dreaming, I don’t want to awaken. A new song spring forth.
Worth Waiting For
I seek your face / in the quietness / or in the chaos / of my day/ it’s what my heart / longs for theirs /nothing like your / presence lord for your / nearness Lord / is my good/ oh cover me/oh cover me/oh cover me/oh Lord your presence/ Lord i’ll wait for oh cover /me oh /cover me /with your presence /my God your presence/is worth waiting for /oh, how I love when/you walk in the room/oh how I love /when you walk / in the room/oh majesty king fell/this place oh majesty/fill this place with/your presence/oh with your presence/for your nearness is my good
As I was singing, an invisible manifestation, covered over me, the sensation alerted all five of my senses. It felt like a waterfall, washing over me, the manifestation gave me unspeakable peace.
In my spirit, I heard you, are my songbird, I have great, plans for you my child.
Harper Lyric’s Album
Eye’s On You
[I fix my eyes/ on my Savior/when the storms in my life/rises peace be still/you speak to my/troubled heart /you calm my
Raging seas/you bring peace/to my soul/you walk with me/through it all/you have never left myside/you’re my rock /oh, oh my God/you are powerful/oh oh you have/all authority /oh oh God/you are forever/amazing your nearnes /is my good/you calm my raging/seas you speak to/my troubled heart/peace, be still]
You Are For Me
[My God you are for me/I will not be shaken/you make me lie/down in green pastures/and lead me beside/quiet waters/ oh oh you are loving/oh oh you are my fortress/oh oh my stronghold/and deliver /oh oh you are my /shield and/my refuge I will not be/afraid because my God lives/and he reigns / I will not be afraid /because my God lives/and he reigns
__]God, Come Down
[God come down/come down/ open up the heavens/ over our lives/God come down/come down open up/the heavens over/our lives/Lord we welcome you/into our hearts /Lord come and have your way /with us Lord /let your kingdom /come push back the darkness /Lord let your kingdom Come /push back the darkness/oh God rises up/ your children / in this ever/changing/hour
Our hopes in you /we will not be put to shame/our trust in you we will/not be put to shame/our faith in you/we will not be
Put to shame/with you God/On our side /we win victory is/ours and its ever/rising God come down/come down our God
Come down come down
I open my heart to you/I open my heart to you/my king/you are good/ you are merciful /and faithful love is/you to the core/you give me hope/when I have none/left you give life/to the dead/you resurrect me /you are good you are merciful/and faithful love is/you to the core/you know my every thought/you know me better then I know myself
About The Author
Telling stories, has always been a passion of hers. She loves God, her heavenly father and her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This gift of hers is from him, and she uses it for his glory and his glory along. For it is God, who works through her. She’s a vessel, who is happy to be used, by her God and her friend. She loves singing to God, even though she is not gifted in that area. She lives in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio and she is twenty something years old. Follow her on Twitter @TheBlakeRyann .
A prayer form the author to you !
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace”.
Harper entire life has been about unfolding her mother secret . Her mother took the secret, with her to the grave ,about who her biological father Is . Did no one ever tell her mother? That secret's always have a way of coming into light . For everything there is a season, and a time for every activity under heaven. And Harper time is now .How is Harper going to respond to the revelation ? That she’s been waiting her whole life for ?