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Silly Plotos and the Golden Eggcups

Silly Plotos and the Golden Eggcups

 

By Theo Hitchcock

 

Cover image by Dom McKenzie

 

Shakespir Edition

 

Copyright 2016 Theo Hitchcock

 

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person,

please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of the author.

Contents

 

Chapter One: Silly

Chapter Two: France

Chapter Three: Spain

Chapter Four: Italy

Chapter Five: Japan

Chapter Six: America

Chapter Seven: Scotland

Chapter Eight: Home

About the Author

Chapter One

Many years ago, nestled in the rolling hills of England’s beautiful green countryside, lay the small village of Beautrosville. In a small white house with a thatched roof in the middle of this idyllic rural village lived an egg called Silly Plotos. Every morning, dressed in his favourite blue trousers and brown shoes, Silly stepped out of his blue front door to breathe in the lovely fresh air. Silly’s best friend, Lloyd, lived opposite in an almost identical house. Each morning, dressed in dark green trousers and brown shoes, Lloyd walked out of his green front door and strolled across to Silly’s house so they could cook up their favourite meal: a full English breakfast, complete with sausages, bacon, eggs, tomato, baked beans, mushrooms and hash browns.

Beautrosville was a lovely place to be. The sun always shone, and the villagers were always happy. Everyone knew everyone, and every single egg had their role. There were hunters, farmers, miners, shepherds, soldiers, blacksmiths, doctors and teachers. The rulers of the village, Lord and Lady McBeaut, lived in the centre of the village in a castle. Its stone walls rose high above the deep moat that surrounded it, and armed guards patrolled the turrets and fortifications. The rulers loved their community, and the community loved them back.

Every day after their delicious breakfast, Silly and Lloyd would go hunting and fishing out in the countryside to provide food for themselves and the village. In the afternoon, they went out into the meadows, where Lloyd sat and painted pictures, and Silly lay down imagining great adventures. Life was great.

Silly was also in love. He was in love with Lord and Lady McBeaut’s daughter, Princess Nortissia, who was the most beautiful egg in the whole village. She wore a pretty white dress with gold embroidery, and a silver tiara on top of her head. Her hair was as golden and shiny as the jewellery she wore on her wrists and around her neck. She loved Silly too. They had grown up as friends and had known each other for many years. They wanted to spend the rest of their lives together in Beautrosville with their loved ones. At the right time, and with the permission of Lord McBeaut, Silly would ask the Princess to marry him.

One day, as Silly and Lloyd were returning home from the forest, they were summoned to the castle by Lord McBeaut’s trusted servants, the identical twins Goif and Gwaf, who were also their friends. Dressed in matching green and red chequered trousers, the twins led Silly and Lloyd over the castle drawbridge. Silly wondered what Lord McBeaut would want with them as they arrived in his study. All four walls were lined with thousands of books, right up to the ceiling. He was standing by the fireplace with a troubled look on his face. Just like Goif and Gwaf, he wore green and red, the McBeaut family colours, with a dark cloak falling from his shoulders to the floor. His thin grey hair and beard shone like silver as the fire flickered beside him.

“Welcome, gentlemen,” he said, the sound of his low voice booming around the dimly lit room. “Make yourselves at home.”

He sat the two friends down and told them a story. It was the story of the Golden Eggcups…

Years ago, when I was very young, Beautrosville was one of the greatest and wealthiest villages in all of England. My father ruled, just as I do today. Locked up in the highest room in the highest tower of the castle were seven ancient Eggcups, each one identical to the next and made from solid gold. They were forged from the mines outside our village, and had been passed down in my family for generations, ensuring the wealth and power of Beautrosville would be never-ending. As long as the Eggcups were safe, so were we. But rulers from all corners of the earth had heard of our great treasure and came in search of these riches. They threatened to attack and lay siege to our village with their foreign armies if we did not hand over the relics. My father was an egg of democracy, not violence. So all but one of the Eggcups were lost. Each of the six invaders took one, but great bloodshed and destruction was avoided in process. My father saved this village and everyone in it. But now I want those Eggcups back! I want what is rightfully ours and to restore this village to its former glory!”

Silly’s mission was simple: retrieve the six lost Golden Eggcups from those who had taken them all those years ago. If he returned triumphant, Lord McBeaut would grant him his wish – to marry the Princess. He would gain the respect and gratitude of his ruler, and would win his lover’s hand in marriage. They would all live happily ever after, and the village of Beautrosville would become an even greater place to live.

He accepted the challenge his leader had set him, and Goif and Gwaf were ordered to accompany him. The next day, after a good night’s sleep and a big breakfast, they would set off. At last Silly and Lloyd would get to go on a real life adventure! One that would take them to places they could not possibly imagine…

 

 

Chapter Two

The next day Silly, accompanied by his great friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf, set off for lands far away to retrieve the Golden Eggcups. No one knew how long they would be gone for, or what perils they would face. Would they ever have a full English breakfast again? Would Silly ever see the Princess again?

The whole village came out to see them off. The Princess could not hide her sadness, but Silly promised her that he would return home triumphant, and in one piece. She blew him kisses as she said goodbye. Lord McBeaut had given Silly a paper scroll listing the places where each Eggcup would be found, and had also entrusted Silly with his own weapon, Eggscalibur, the sword his father had passed down to him not so long ago. With his friends beside him, and Eggscalibur in his hand, Silly was sure he could complete his task.

The brave heroes waved goodbye to the village, and the epic quest had begun. Silly consulted the scroll his leader had given him.

“The first stop on our journey is Paris!” he proclaimed, to shouts of happiness from his three accomplices.

They went south to the coast, and caught a lift across the channel in a fishing boat with some local eggs who were on their way to France. When they reached dry land, they crossed fields, forests and rivers, and on the morning of their third day of travelling, the silhouette of France’s capital city appeared faintly on the horizon.

They entered the city, winding their way through the cobbled streets, with creamy white coloured buildings and pointed roofs towering above them. They made straight for the royal palace, where they knew one of the Golden Eggcups was to be found. They approached the vast palace gates and were stopped by the guards who wore navy blue berets and shiny breastplates. They pointed their spears at the visitors as they looked them up and down. Having explained the circumstances, Silly and the group were led into the giant palace and into the great hall. Its curved ceiling arched high above them, with murals and paintings stretching across the stone walls. Great chandeliers hung downwards from above and flaming torches lined the red carpet that extended from one end to the other. At the end of the red walkway on the other side of a vast banquet table, King Eric of France sat proudly on his throne. He had brown hair combed to one side, and a thin moustache. He wore a dark blue silk cloak with golden lace. His shiny crown perched on the top of his head. Silly proclaimed:

“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”

The King sniggered: “I am one of ze wealthiest eggs on earth. Your silly little Eggcup is nothing to me. You may have it back, but on one condition. You have to complete ze task I set you.”

He turned to face his advisors, and after a moment of discussion, he explained that Silly and the others would have to win an eating competition to earn back the Eggcup!

“Send for Cedric du l’Oeuf immediately!” he ordered.

Minutes later, the giant doors of the hall opened. There, outlined against the sunlight, was the fattest egg anyone had ever seen. Silly and his friends gasped. How on earth would they devour more food than this monster? Silly and Lloyd were used to gobbling down full English breakfasts every day, but this would surely be a whole new level of eating! The giant egg waddled down the red carpet towards them. His tights were as red as his puffy cheeks and his striped blue and white shirt bulged outwards. He looked like he was about to burst.

“Bring out ze food!” shouted the King.

Dozens of servants hurried out of the giant wooden doors on either side of the hall carrying huge silver trays full of France’s most famous delicacy: snails!

The contestants took their place at the banquet table – Cedric sat opposite, his belly dwarfing Silly and the others. There was surely no hope! Two mountains of snails lay between them, as well as flasks of red wine. Silly peered between the mounds of food as Cedric twiddled his giant moustache and licked his lips in anticipation.

He began at an incredible pace. Snail after snail disappeared into his mouth, whilst Silly and his friends nibbled tentatively. Snails were far less appetising than the hash browns and sausages they were used to back in Beautrosville! Cedric grinned and giggled as the slimy snails disappeared into his mouth. Every few minutes he stopped to wash down the food with a great gulp of red wine that was poured for him by a servant.

Half an hour later, Goif and Gwaf had practically collapsed they were so full. But between the four of them, they had kept up with their opponent, and even he was starting to struggle. Tray after tray had been emptied onto the table as the battle continued. The last few mouthfuls were unbearable. Lloyd’s head lay flat on the table, unable to move. Silly was moments from giving up. Cedric’s pace had got slower and slower. He burped and spluttered and moments later he could barely speak. Suddenly, he groaned in pain and stopped:

“I can’t eat anymore!” he squealed.

He fell backwards off his chair and the whole building shook as he hit the polished stone floor. King Eric’s face dropped in astonishment. Silly and the others were too full to celebrate, instead letting out grunts of relief that the experience was over. The King’s head servant raised Silly’s hand to declare him and his companions as winners! Eric sneered in disgust as his servants dragged Cedric away. The King accepted defeat and ordered for the relic to be brought in.

“Congratulations,” he muttered, reluctantly.

Two servants returned moments later clutching the Golden Eggcup, which they handed over to Silly. It was as big as a drinking goblet, with images of warriors and the castle of Beautrosville engraved on the outside. It glistened under the grand chandeliers as Silly stared at it in awe. Now he understood why Lord McBeaut wanted so dearly to have these Eggcups back!

As a token of respect for their guts and determination, King Eric gave the victorious gang a huge basket of baguettes for their onward journey: “Good luck on ze rest of your quest,” he said.

The friends slowly but triumphantly walked out of the palace. Night was falling and they decided to rest in a nearby inn which they found not far from the southern edge of the city. The first Golden Eggcup had been retrieved and was now safely inside the big woollen sack they carried with them. They had eaten a lifetime’s worth of snails, but it had been worth every bite!

 

 

Chapter Three

Our heroes journeyed south from Paris until they crossed the mountains of the Pyrenees and into Spain. They trekked through the dusty plains under the intense heat of the Spanish sun. Eventually they arrived on the northern outskirts of the capital city, Madrid. Here they would find their next port of call – the villa of King Albondiga!

The sun was setting and the sky was pink and orange. King Albondiga’s villa was huge. White stone walls encircled it, and the huge wooden doors towered above Silly and his friends. They were led into a courtyard by two of the King’s guards who were dressed in red and yellow chequered outfits, with long swords hanging from their belts. Silly stood there looking at the beautiful palm trees and an extravagant fountain that lay before them. Under the arches of the courtyard on either side, servants carrying food and drink hurried to and from the main building, which was as white as the walls that surrounded it.

Just like he did in Paris, Silly demanded to see the King immediately. The guards led the travellers into the dining area. The King and some friends sat on a bed of coloured cushions eating tapas and fruit, watching Flamenco dancers pirouetting around them. The sound of guitars and hand clapping bounced off the walls. The room was deep red and in each corner a flaming torch burned bright. The flickering light and the shadows made King Albondiga’s jet black hair and beard seem even darker. His skin was tanned and leathery. He lay lazily on his side, with one hand resting on his large belly. He wore a smart red and yellow tunic with sandals on his feet. Silly approached him and announced:

“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”

“Aha! I have always wondered whether anyone would come to get back the lost relic,” replied the Spaniard in his gruff voice. “Tonight we drink wine, eat food, and watch Flamenco. Tomorrow at midday, Senor Silly, you shall have your chance to get back the precious Golden Eggcup. It will be some challenge, believe me!”

He threw Silly a cask of red wine, and gestured for the four travellers to sit down.

“Enjoy!” he exclaimed.

Silly and his companions ate, drank and danced the night away. They had an Eggcup to win back in the morning, but they could not turn down the Spanish King’s hospitality! Goif and Gwaf joined in the partying, flinging themselves around the dancefloor to great cheers and applause from the Spaniards. Silly and Lloyd sat on their cushions, wondering what task lay ahead the next day.

The following morning, Silly and the others were escorted from the King’s villa towards the city centre. They had sore heads from the previous night, and the blisteringly hot temperature was making them all the more uncomfortable. They had never felt heat like it! Shortly before midday, they arrived at the Plaza de Toros, the venue for their next challenge: bullfighting!

As they entered the sandy arena in the centre of the vast, circular stadium, the roar of the Spanish crowd hit them like a wall of noise. Hundreds of eggs filled the stands that rose high above them. They booed and hissed as the four English heroes looked back at them. Goif and Gwaf in particular were alarmed by the intimidating atmosphere, staying as close as possible to each other and shaking with nerves. The sun blazed down from the cloudless blue sky. Under a shady cover in the first row of the stadium sat King Albondiga. He looked down on them, and then stood up to address the crowd and his visitors.

He proclaimed: “You and you alone shall face this challenge, Senor Silly. If you succeed, you shall have your precious Golden Eggcup back.”

Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf were filled with pure relief. They knew that Silly was the best man for the job. They wished him good luck as they climbed over the barriers and out of the way, leaving him alone on the sand. King Albondiga threw down a red cape. Dust swirled around Silly’s feet as he picked it up and threw it over his shoulder. Silly was brave; probably the bravest egg in the whole of Beautrosville, but right now he was afraid. He glanced at his friends in the stands, and thought of England, the village, and his beautiful Princess. He felt a very long way from home.

“Release the bull!” bellowed King Albondiga.

The crowd roared in anticipation as Silly gathered his thoughts and focused on the mighty task ahead.

The rusty wooden gate at the opposite end of the arena creaked open, and the crowd fell silent. Silly stood there nervously, with only the red cape in his hand. He wiped the sweat from his brow. Suddenly, an enormous bull charged out of the darkness and thundered towards Silly with its horns pointing forward like gigantic white daggers. All Silly could do was jump out of the way at the last second. He was no match for a bull this size, so he would have to be cunning to defeat it. He would have to use the speed and agility that he used so often when hunting and fishing back home in England. Silly dangled the red cape and the bull charged once more, but again Silly swerved out of its way.

He skilfully began to do it time after time, again and again.

Eventually, the beast began to tire. The crowd continued to “oooh” and “aaaah” each time it brushed past Silly, its horns just inches from him. Silly had patiently waited for his opportunity, and it was coming ever closer. The bull trotted towards him, sapped of all its energy from its endless charging and the heat of the sun. Silly advanced and threw the flag over the creature’s head, and with all his might, punched it right in the middle of the nose! The crowd gasped as the great bull thudded against the sand. The Spanish King, like the bull, was stunned.

Silly was victorious! The crowd began to cheer and clap as his friends ran on to congratulate him. The applause was deafening as Silly was raised into the air on the shoulders of his companions. He was exhausted. King Albondiga was very impressed. He too started to applaud Silly’s magnificent achievement. He clicked his fingers and the Golden Eggcup was brought out for all to see. Silly raised it in the air and it shone bright in the Spanish sunshine. As he placed it in the big woollen sack, the bull had only just woken up!

“Congratulations, Senor Silly. You have gained the admiration of myself and my people. Go in peace!” exclaimed the King.

As a token of respect for Silly’s bravery and agility, King Albondiga gave him and his friends some famous Spanish tapas and chorizo sausage to keep them going on the next leg of their expedition: “Good luck on the rest of your quest,” he said.

The bull groggily stumbled back towards the tunnel. The four friends triumphantly walked out of the arena to rapturous applause, and more importantly, with another Eggcup safely recovered.

 

 

Chapter Four

 

The next stage of their voyage took them to Italy! They travelled east from Madrid and bought a small boat at the seaside. They sailed uneventfully for days and nights across the beautiful Mediterranean Sea and arrived unscathed to Italy’s west coast. They sold the boat and finished off all the food that had kindly been given to them back in Madrid. Just a few hours walking and they would finally reach their third destination: Rome!

The city and country was ruled by Emperor Rigatoni. He was the most arrogant egg in all of Italy. He spent his days discussing politics and plotting military campaigns with his closest advisors in the Senate building, which was on top of a small hill near the city centre. Our English travellers went straight there. The cobbled roads were as straight as arrows and the trees were tall and thin. The views over the city around them were breath-taking as they looked down on all the streets and buildings. In the background, green hills meandered into the distance. Silly and the others were halted at the entrance by the Emperor’s legionnaires. Our heroes were tired and weary from their travels, but they wanted to speak to Rigatoni as soon possible. The soldiers marched our voyagers up the grey marble steps towards the Senate room, passing sculptures and statues of the proud Emperor on virtually every corridor. As they entered the white chamber, Silly said his piece:

“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”

The plump Emperor, wearing a white toga and a crown of laurels, swivelled and glared at the four intruders. His brown sandals swept across the pristine floor as he drifted towards them. The Senators watched on with interest.

“You’ve shown great courage to come in here and interrupt me like this,” he said in his squeaky voice. “Your Eggcup is in one of our treasure rooms along with all the other glorious riches this Empire has won over the years. If you wish to have it back, you shall have to complete a challenge!”

After a moment of consultation with his colleagues, he turned to Silly and the others:

“I demand a painting competition! Not only am I the greatest Emperor this country has ever seen, I am also the finest painter! If you defeat me, you may take your Eggcup. If not, it stays here, and you will be going home empty handed!” He sniggered and the Senators laughed with him.

Silly, Goif and Gwaf stared at Lloyd. This would be his moment! All those hours spent painting back at home in England would now come in very handy. Lloyd looked back at them nervously, but knew it was he who had to take on the Emperor. The Emperor invited all the Senators and politicians to watch him humiliate the foreigners and send them on their way defeated; Lloyd would be able to showcase his amazing talent to a great audience!

“We accept your challenge, Emperor Rigatoni,” announced Silly. “My best friend Lloyd will be painting against you.”

“May the Gods be with you,” replied the Emperor, smiling. “Now be off with you! I have meetings to attend. Get some rest; you’ll be on your way home very soon.”

That evening, after our heroes had been given time to recover, Emperor Rigatoni took to the stage with his paintbrushes in a great outdoor amphitheatre near the Senate building. Thousands of stars glinted like fireflies and the moon shone bright in the clear night sky. Lloyd, the chosen challenger, joined his rival. They sat on their stools with their easels and blank canvasses. A large bowl of spaghetti bolognaise was placed on a table in front of them. The hour long painting competition had begun!

The audience chatted quietly as the Emperor and Lloyd started to brush away. Silly, Goif and Gwaf sat silently in the front row, surrounded by Romans. Gwaf licked his lips and rubbed his tummy as the smell of the food wafted towards them from the stage. The two competitors were deep in concentration as they observed and painted. Emperor Rigatoni was determined to show he was the greatest painter in the land, and Lloyd was determined to win back the Eggcup and not let his friends down. After an hour of intense effort, both eggs were finished.

The Emperor was first to turn round his canvas, smiling smugly as the crowd warmly applauded at the sight of his work, which was uninspiring at best! Next, Lloyd slowly picked up his picture, which was almost the same size as him. He turned it around and raised it like a trophy, with both hands elevating it above his head. It was far more imaginative and impressive than the Emperor’s! The audience screamed and burst into thunderous cheers as the Roman’s expression turned to one of horror. Silly, Goif and Gwaf jumped from their seats with joy. Lloyd was bursting with pride. He had defeated Emperor Rigatoni and completed the challenge! The Emperor was livid that his Senators and politicians had preferred his rival’s work to his own.

Eventually, however, the Roman grudgingly accepted defeat.

Lloyd’s friends joined him on stage and they celebrated wildly as the sounds of applause continued to echo around the auditorium and into the open air. The Emperor handed them the Golden Eggcup and apologised for his arrogance. He offered them the use of his servants’ quarters to sleep and celebrate in that night. He trudged off with his head bowed as Lloyd placed the relic inside the woollen sack.

As a token of respect for Lloyd’s skill and talent, the Emperor gave him a valuable picture, worth its weight in gold, as a memento of his great painting victory: “Good luck on the rest of your quest,” he said.

The next morning, Lloyd and the others were still overjoyed from the previous night’s events. It had been a successful evening. A troop of the Emperor’s soldiers accompanied the four friends out to the edge of the city as they continued to celebrate Lloyd’s remarkable performance. Another Eggcup had been won back, and they were another step closer to completing their mission.

 

 

Chapter Five

Our heroes had already travelled across much of Europe, and now they were going even further from home. Food and drink was scarce, so they fed off the land as much as they could. Carrying the Eggcups and now a great big painting was also making things harder, but the group were as determined as ever to reach the next place on the list. They travelled for weeks and weeks across mountains, plains, rivers, forests, seas; every possible terrain imaginable. They eventually arrived in the Far East and the fourth country of their quest, Japan, and its capital city of Tokyo!

They snaked through the hills just outside the city and the pathway thinned as they went higher and higher into the mountains. The blossom trees were pink and red in the early evening Japanese sun. Tokyo’s lights and pointed rooftops could barely be seen far below as the shadow of the mountains stretched over the city. Eventually, Silly and the others arrived at a small village just below the clouds. It was here that they would find their next opponent, and another missing Eggcup. The opponent was Hidetoshi Hu, the great Samurai master. They climbed the final few steps to his house, with its curved roof, surrounded by small round bushes and a thin stream of trickling water. This seemed like heaven, not the house of a deadly swordsman!

Silly knocked on the great door, made of solid oak, and it slowly squeaked open. There stood Hu. He was old, with white hair and a long white moustache. He was noble, respectful and wise. His black and red Samurai outfit was impressively decorated with images of dragons and flames, and seemed as good as new. Dozens of Samurai swords of all shapes and sizes lined the walls. Addressing his adversary, Silly declared:

“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”

“Welcome to Japan. You must be tired from travelling,” replied Hu as he led them to his dining room, where a chef was preparing sushi and noodles. In a flash, Hu had brandished one of his Samurai swords and chopped up the sushi in a matter of seconds. The visitors’ jaws dropped in wonder at the speed and skill of what they had just witnessed.

Hu continued in his calm voice: “I knew someone would eventually come for the Golden Eggcup. I have been waiting for this day. Our contest will be my last as a Samurai warrior. One on one. My sword against yours.” He pointed towards Silly and his great sword Eggscalibur.

Offering them a platter of the food, he added: “Eat and drink what you want. Tomorrow morning, as the sun begins to rise, Mr. Silly and I will have our duel.”

Dawn arrived only a few hours later. As Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf struggled to get out of bed, Silly was stretching his muscles and practising his sword skills, preparing to take on the great Samurai. Hu’s Samurai pupils lined the dusty courtyard where their master and Silly would do battle. The rising sun arched over the horizon to the east. A white circle was painted around the two fighters – the first to step out of this circle would lose the duel. The Golden Eggcup was perched on a small column on the edge of the courtyard. Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf felt uncomfortable as they watched on. How would Silly and Eggscalibur fare against such a legendary sword expert?

The duel began, and Silly’s direct, powerful style was in stark contrast to the elegance and grace of his elderly opponent. Hu barely broke sweat as Silly swung his weapon wildly. They fought bravely – Eggscalibur was more than a match for Hu and his chosen sword, its black and silver blade flashing like a lightning bolt in the early morning sunshine. They fought for what seemed like an age, with neither fighter showing any signs of weakness. But suddenly, the two swords clashed so hard that both fighters lost grip and the weapons ended up on the ground. Silly had to seize the opportunity whilst his opponent was unarmed. He lunged at Hu and kung-fu kicked him as hard as he could! The Samurai’s pointed helmet flew off as he soared through the air and landed in a plant pot on the edge of the battleground, outside the painted circle. Silly was the winner!

Hu’s pupils rushed to pick up their Master. He was dazed from Silly’s ferocious kick, and slowly got back to his feet. Silly picked up Eggscalibur and raised it to the skies, victorious. Lloyd and the twins celebrated on the side lines, knowing yet another Eggcup would be retrieved. The Samurai master had more than matched his younger opponent, whose great sword was one of the toughest he had ever come up against. Hu and his apprentices bowed as Silly picked up the Golden Eggcup. Graciously accepting defeat, the Samurai congratulated Silly on his bravery and strength.

“Thank you,” replied Silly. “You are a great man and an even greater warrior. It was an honour to fight you.”

As a token of respect for our hero’s sword fighting ability, Hu gave Silly and his companions one of his oldest and most special Samurai swords, and also a mound of fresh sushi and noodles for them to take with them as they set off on the next part of the journey: “Good luck on the rest of your quest,” he said.

The great Samurai warrior waved goodbye as our band of friends marched victorious down the hill away from the village, their bags full to the brim with food. The sun had risen fully and shone brightly on the hundreds of miles of landscape below. Goif and Gwaf took turns to hold the Samurai sword and imitated Silly’s kung-fu kick all the way down the mountain. Four Eggcups were now safely in the sack; there were only two more to go!

 

 

Chapter Six

Our heroes jumped aboard a boat from Tokyo that evening. From the port they set sail with some other travellers who were also heading east from Japan across the Pacific Ocean. After days and days of eating sushi and noodles on the boat, they couldn’t stand it anymore, and the boredom was driving them mad. But fortunately, no sooner had the last piece of Japanese food been eaten, the shores of their next destination came slowly into view. America!

They navigated their way through mountainous forest and across winding rivers, until the terrain gradually flattened into vast open plains. The wilderness seemed to stretch on forever. It had been weeks since they left Tokyo but they finally reached the penultimate stop on their list: the camp of a native Red Indian tribe! The North American sun beat down on the prairie as they approached the small settlement. Dozens of painted wigwams surrounded Silly and his friends, with a smoking campfire in the centre of the clearing. The tribe’s fearsome leader, Big Chief Huppuluh, came out to meet them. His tanned face was etched with lines, and his charcoal coloured beard and hair were braided with coloured rings. He wore a necklace made of bones and his bare chest was covered in war paint. His impressive headdress was made from white and black feathers that sprung upwards. He seemed far from welcoming. Red Indian eggs circled the foreigners with puzzled expressions as Silly, in his now customary way, addressed them:

“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”

In basic and broken English, Big Chief Huppuluh replied: “You want treasure back? You must do challenge. Bow and arrow.”

Silly accepted. They walked towards a cluster of trees on one edge of the camp. The English eggs were experts with a bow and arrow since it was a popular and effective weapon back home, not least for hunting. But competing against Red Indians was another matter! All four of them would take part. The Chief’s son, Little Chief Lutrulluh, who was the spitting image of his father, would also join the competition.

The rest of the tribe gathered round as the contestants lined up a fair distance away from the row of trees. Three circles had been scratched and painted into the bark of each tree so they could be used as target practice for the Red Indian warriors. Silly, Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf, Big Chief Huppuluh and Little Chief Lutrulluh would each fire five arrows. Those whose arrows landed closest to the centre of the targets would continue, and those furthest away would drop out.

After two rounds of arrows, just three competitors remained. Silly was neck and neck with the two Red Indians. Lutrulluh then narrowly missed, which produced a look of disappointment from his father. Silly and the Chief hit the centre of the target yet again. The two could not be split with one round of arrows to go! They decided to move further away from the targets, in the hope of finding a clear winner.

The Chief drew back his bow one last time and released his arrow, which hit the second ring of the target, just inches from the centre of the bullseye. He growled with rage as warm applause rippled from the intrigued onlookers. If Silly could better his rival’s shot, he would be victorious. Being a hunter, he was skilled at aiming from distance. If he could hit moving animals in the forests around Beautrosville he could surely hit this target too! He steadied himself and breathed out slowly. The arrow rocketed through the air. Splinters of bark flew from the tree as it landed in the centre of the bullseye. The Red Indians gasped in horror. Triumph for Silly!

As usual, our gang’s celebrations were wild. They jumped with joy as Big Chief Huppuluh snapped his bow with anger. The Golden Eggcup was brought out from one of the wigwams and placed in Silly’s hands. After a few moments, the Chief was more calm. He was impressed, and surprisingly gracious in defeat, considering his unfriendliness throughout the afternoon. He still didn’t manage to break into a smile, but congratulated his opponents and invited them to stay for dinner in his tent.

That evening a feast of meat was prepared. The English travellers sat and ate with their hosts, and danced round the campfire. Goif and Gwaf splattered themselves with the Indians’ war paint. Silly and Lloyd showed the Chief and his son the Samurai sword from Japan and the valuable painting from Italy. The next day, after the party and a good night’s sleep, everyone gathered outside the Chief’s wigwam to say goodbye.

As a token of respect for their bow and arrow skills, Big Chief Huppulluh gave Silly and the others two of his best horses, as well as a pair of Red Indian headpieces for Goif and Gwaf: “Good luck rest quest,” he said.

The Red Indians waved and let out their famous war cry as our friends galloped away on their new horses. Goif sat behind Silly, and Gwaf behind Lloyd. The woollen sack, strapped to one of the horses, was now bulging with Golden Eggcups. The feathers on the twins’ headpieces blew in the wind as they raced towards the mountains in the east. Their journey back towards Europe would be much quicker now, and they had just one more relic to collect!

 

 

Chapter Seven

Our friends’ quest was nearing its end – the incredible journey was nearly complete and soon they would be able to return home to their beloved Beautrosville. The horses given to them by the Red Indians had carried them all the way to the east coast of America. They sold the horses at the seaside, and used the money to buy a boat that would take them across the Atlantic Ocean. Another lengthy sea crossing lay ahead, so they stocked up on as much food and drink as possible and piled it into their vessel. After days and days at sea, they arrived at the final stop on their journey. They were now on shores much closer to home: Scotland!

They trekked through highlands and marshes before arriving at a barbarian stronghold high up in the cold mountains. The leader of this horde of fierce warriors was the terrifying Stocky McFella. He was possibly the scariest egg they had ever met. He towered over them. Messy orange hair and a thick beard surrounded his scarred face which was smeared with bright blue war paint. His giant axe rested over his shoulder and he wore a blue chequered kilt. Silly and the others approached him outside his hut:

“My name is Silly Plotos. These are my friends Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf. We have come to take something that belongs to us: a Golden Eggcup that was taken from our village many years ago.”

The giant warrior granted them the chance to win back their lost relic, because he doubted they would be able to complete his challenge. He added, however, that if they failed to win it back, they would not leave his camp alive! Our four companions and Stocky, followed by his barbarians, went higher up into the hills where the challenge would take place. Rain and mist descended. They stopped by a great ravine, which zigzagged into the distance. A river ran way down at the bottom, the water crashing into the rocks on either side.

“If you can throw this log across the ravine, I’ll give you your Golden Eggcup back,” said Stocky in his thick Scottish accent, pointing at a log that looked as big as a small tree. “If you can’t, I’ll boil you up and have you for my dinner.”

The barbarian grinned at them fiercely as he stood there in the rain. One more challenge stood between them and the last Eggcup, but there was no way one of them was strong enough to pick up the log, let alone throw it! But Silly had an idea. As they huddled together to hear his plan, Stocky picked up the huge log, and launched it comfortably over the ravine. The jaws of the visitors dropped in amazement as the barbarians cheered and raised their axes in the air. He was an egg twice as big as them. Silly explained to his companions how they would have to work together to defeat him.

One of the highlanders fetched the log from the other side of the gorge and dropped it at the feet of the four friends. They immediately put Silly’s plan into practice: Lloyd wrapped his short legs around Silly’s waist, facing forwards. He took hold of Gwaf’s legs and Gwaf took hold of Goif’s. The massive log dragged on the ground as Goif struggled to grasp it in the pouring rain. He wrapped both his arms around it, hugging it as tight as possible. Slowly Silly began to spin round, and the four of them began to rotate as they gained momentum. After a few spins, they had created so much speed and force that Goif and Gwaf were lifted off the ground and spiralling in mid-air!

“One…two…three!!!” shouted Silly, and Goif let go of the log.

Goif went flying off to the side, landing head first into a bush as the other three collapsed in a heap. The log, on the other hand, soared into the air and over the ravine! The barbarians looked at each other in utter disbelief. Silly, Lloyd and Gwaf celebrated on the muddy grass as Goif untangled himself from the bush. He was covered in thorns and twigs but joined the others to enjoy their unlikely victory. The rain continued to fall and the mist had become thicker and thicker, but they didn’t care – they had won back the final Eggcup!

Stocky was still dumbstruck by what he had just witnessed. But he had been beaten and had to stick to his word.

He turned to them: “You beat me fair and square, young laddies. You may have your Eggcup back, and I’ll play you a song on my bagpipes before your journey home.”

They went back down to the camp for our heroes to collect what they had come for. The highlanders walked in silence as their visitors sang and danced. They packed up their possessions and Silly put the final Eggcup in the sack. As they started to stroll away, the barbarian chief played his bagpipes and everyone clapped along. Nothing could dampen their spirits now that they were so close to finishing their quest!

As a token of respect for their inventiveness and grit, Stocky gave Silly and the others a huge bag of haggis to keep them full of energy on the final stretch of their travels: “Good luck on the rest of your quest,” he said.

The sound of the bagpipes faded as the barbarians’ camp disappeared into the fog. Darkness fell. They slalomed down through the forest, heading south towards England and their beloved village. They had been away for many months, but all six of the missing Golden Eggcups had now been retrieved. They were finally going home!

 

 

Chapter Eight

 

Our band of friends walked all through the night, driven by the thought of arriving home soon. As they crossed the Scottish-English border, they celebrated like never before. It was such a relief to be back on familiar soil after so much time spent in foreign lands. The weather got better and better and the landscape became greener and greener. Barely a day later and they began to recognise their surroundings. They were so nearly there!

It was a normal day in Beautrosville. The villagers were quietly going about their business in the usual manner. The sun shone high in the cloudless sky as Princess Nortissia stared out into the countryside from her balcony in the castle. Every day she had thought of Silly and the others, and although it had been months since they left on their expedition, she had not given up hope of their return, and of marrying her childhood sweetheart. Suddenly, from one of the fields on the outskirts of the village, a farmer came running.

“They’re back! They’re back!” he yelled.

Villagers started to gather as the adventurers appeared on the horizon, strolling slowly towards them across the meadow. Goif and Gwaf bounced around with joy at the sight of the village and the high turrets of the castle. Silly and Lloyd looked at each other and smiled, knowing they had just experienced the most epic of adventures. The Princess, on hearing the shouts of the farmer, had rushed down to join the crowd that was assembling at the main entrance to the village. Everyone was cheering and celebrating, and the Princess ran out to embrace Silly on the path. Lloyd, Gwaf and Goif were triumphantly hoisted into the air by their fellow villagers and carried towards the castle. Silly followed the procession with the sack of Golden Eggcups in one hand and Princess Nortissia by his side.

Lord and Lady McBeaut, both beaming with delight, appeared on the drawbridge of the castle. Lady McBeaut, whose green and red dress matched her husband’s tunic, waved to the crowd. Her long grey hair was tied neatly on top of her head. Below them, the water from the moat glistened. As the villagers looked on clapping, Silly presented the Golden Eggcups to his leader.

“Today is a great day,” proclaimed Lord McBeaut. “Our brave heroes have come home unscathed, and returned the precious Eggcups. They are the toast of Beautrosville, and we owe them everything! Silly and my daughter the Princess shall be married immediately, and this evening we will throw the biggest party this village has ever seen!”

Thunderous applause erupted from the crowd as the village priest emerged to wed Silly and the Princess right there and then on the drawbridge. Lord McBeaut watched on with pride and his wife cried tears of joy as their daughter stood side to side with her childhood sweetheart. Lloyd, Goif and Gwaf lined up to one side as their companion fulfilled his lifelong dream. After the brief ceremony, the happy couple hugged their family and friends as the celebrations began.

But one more ceremony was to be carried out. Lord McBeaut quietened the crowd with a wave of his hand. He took Eggscalibur, his trusted sword, from Silly’s belt. He asked his new son-in-law to kneel. There were gasps of excitement and quiet mutterings amongst the onlookers as Silly went down on one knee. Lord McBeaut touched the huge blade on both Silly’s shoulders:

“I knight you Sir Silly Plotos of Beautrosville!” he proclaimed.

The villagers bowed to their returning hero and once more burst into joyous celebration. What a day this was turning out to be! Silly and his friends had embarked on the adventure to end all adventures, and the pride of the village had been restored. He had married the Princess and even earned a knighthood!

That evening, Lord and Lady McBeaut hosted a huge feast in the castle, and every single egg in the village, both young and old, was there. The great banquet hall was lined with rows of tables that overflowed with food of all shapes, sizes and colours. The Golden Eggcups were laid out on the top table for all to see. Musicians played, wine flowed, and all of Beautrosville danced into night.

The following morning, life returned to normal. Silly, Lloyd and the Princess enjoyed a delicious full English breakfast before heading out into the countryside to go hunting and fishing. In the afternoon, they went out into the meadows, where Lloyd sat and painted pictures, and Silly lay next to his new wife, recalling their great adventures. Life was great.

The End.

 

 

About the Author

Theo is 26 and lives in London.

 

Shakespir: http://www.Shakespir.com/profile/view/theohitch

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theohitchcock/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theohitch

Cover image created by the talented Dom McKenzie: http://www.dommckenzie.com/


Silly Plotos and the Golden Eggcups

  • ISBN: 9781310263910
  • Author: Theo Hitchcock
  • Published: 2016-01-18 22:50:08
  • Words: 8200
Silly Plotos and the Golden Eggcups Silly Plotos and the Golden Eggcups