“Self-Help for Super-Villains” Copyright © 2015 Christopher Holmes Nixon
Canadian Intellectual Property Office Reference: 1125524
Hardcopy edition ISBN: 978-0-9948128-4-1
Digital edition ISBN: 978-0-994-128-5-8
Written by Christopher Holmes Nixon
Cover art by Joeric Navalatan at rikyan.carbonmade.com
Copyediting by Jeff Suess and Writer’s Digest at www.writersdigestshop.com
Digital distribution through Shakespir at www.Shakespir.com
Produced by FoeHammer Publications at www.foehammerpublications.com
“Self-Help for Super-Villains” originally published as part of the Mad Scientist Journal on 1 December 2014.
“Self-Help for Super-Villains” is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
SELF-HELP FOR SUPER VILLAINS
Christopher Holmes Nixon
“Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers, powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing, forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.”
– Orison Swett Martin
Hello. My name is Bill Masterson.
I want to begin by taking a moment to thank you. I know we’ve never met, but I already know you. I know who you really are because you’re like me. We’re the same.
I respect you. I really admire and appreciate you because you’re different from the rest. You’ve already set yourself apart from the thousands of people who’ve been overcome by the frustration of daily life, allowed their dreams to dissipate, and lost the sense of certainty that creates the winning edge. I recognize you as the type of person who wants to make a change, and more importantly, you’re willing to do something about it.
For over a quarter of a century, I’ve helped millions from around the world achieve the life advantage and not settle for anything less than they know they can be.
I’m the guy who gets the call. I get the call when the problems start to burn out of control. I get the call when the octopus man is in a jewellery store surrounded by the police, and his robotic arms have started to malfunction. I’m the guy who gets the call when the plan has failed, and the evil genius is being beaten senseless live on national television. I get the call when the fifth robot has been captured, and now the ultra-bot is fighting the climactic final battle with only one leg. Or sometimes I get the call just to say thank you. I recently received a call from a client who said, “Bill, I’ve attended all your seminars and read all your books, now I’ve taken the president hostage on my zeppelin, and how would you like a state named after you as a token of my appreciation?”
From all the people that I’ve helped, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that we all behave in the same way. We may have different backgrounds, different standards, different super powers, but we all encounter similar obstacles. Our challenges are all alike, and the science for overcoming limiting beliefs in order to achieve peak performance apply whether you’re a criminal mastermind, a psychotic dictator, a systematic killer, a rogue computer program, or just the by-product of a horrible lab accident.
I recognize the power that individuals possess to change virtually anything in their lives in an instant. I’ve learned that the resources to turn our dreams into reality are already within us, merely waiting for the moment that we accept the challenge to claim what is rightfully ours. Let my words be your impetus to accept the call to greatness, the catalyst to tap into the powers that you already possess and to live your life to its fullest.
Let me extend my sincere gratitude for deciding to make a change in the quality of your life, and thank you for joining me. It’s my privilege to know you.
Every great journey starts with a first step, so let’s begin.
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you are right.”
– Henry Ford
Creating a meaningful life is simple, so simple in fact that many of us overlook the first step. The secret to realizing your true potential is to know what you want.
Is it that simple? Yes, it’s that simple.
Successful people ask better questions, they get better answers, which leads to better results. Ask yourself, what do you want?
Do you need to feel the reverberations of your nemesis’ vertebrae crushing together as you play their spine like an accordion? Are you dissatisfied by the fact that no one wants to rescue the damsel that you’ve kidnapped? Have your death traps become tired and predictable, and you’re looking to try something new? Do you want to steal more money, build a larger underwater lair, or form the league of evil that you’ve always dreamed of?
Here’s what I need you to do: sit down and write out your goals. I’m serious! Sit down right now and list all the things that you truly want. If you’re writing out this assignment with the blood of your vanquished, then I salute you, but I can’t do this for you. Take a moment to yourself and write down your goals, and when you’re finished, come back to me.
Once you’ve completed your assignment, place your goals where you can always see them. Keep your goals inside your exoskeleton, use your orbital laser to etch your ambitions into the surface of the rainforest, or even have your minions chant your goals as a mantra to wake you up in the morning. Always keep your goals right in front of you to fuel your journey along the road to success.
Now that you’ve laid out your purpose for the future, you should be thinking, “Well, what’s next?” Exactly! What’s next?
I need to bring an important point to your attention so that you can avoid one of the major pitfalls that traps many of us. While you’re in the process of achieving one goal, one scheme, one master plan, always consider the next achievement. You don’t want to find yourself sitting on a pile of money wondering what to do, or stand triumphantly over the broken corpse of your arch-nemesis thinking, “Is this all there is?” Be sure to think ahead, validating your current exploits with the absolute certainty that you will reach the next level.
When you’re planning your next accomplishment, always push yourself to think big. Why destroy one city, when you can destroy them all? You owe it to yourself to dispel your limiting beliefs, to lay the mental framework for turning your dreams into reality. Remember, there is no such thing as failure, only results.
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.
“Action is the foundational key to all success.”
– Pablo Picasso
We’ve talked about why you’re here. We’ve talked about the importance of knowing what you want. Now we’re going to discuss how to expedite your ascension to excellence through peak performance.
Once you’ve selected your goals for the future, the next step is to take massive action. Never incite the ambition without taking immediate steps to pursue its attainment. Is your goal to make more money? Then go out and rob a bank, or better yet, rob two! Are heroes constantly escaping from your dungeon lair? Then start designing that force field that you’ve always been talking about. Are you serving quadruple sequential life sentences in a maximum security prison? Then maybe it’s time to start smashing through some walls, both metaphorical and real. Change can happen in an instant, and taking decisive action builds personal momentum. If you’re unsure when to do this, then ask yourself, “Would now be a good time?”
The next empowering strategy that I’d like to share is the power of positive self-indoctrination. The language we use is very important, and there are specific phrases, if repeated with enough emotional conviction, that will galvanize your mind into a state of unquestionable certainty. These are called incantations. For example, try something as simple as “fight, win, prevail.” Or use a generic phrase such as “bad guys have all the fun, God damn us, everyone.” Or maybe something more complex like “the blood of my enemies will line my path to victory.” Create your own incantations, and incorporate them into your daily habits to transform yourself into an unstoppable juggernaut of success.
The next step is simple, yet highly effective. See your life as a game, a challenge, or a contest. Score your life! Give yourself specific quantitative measures of effectiveness to chart your accomplishments. Track the size of your money pillar. Count the number of terawatt hours that you’ve consumed with your death ray. Keep track of how many of your followers have sacrificed themselves in order to gain your appeasement. You’ll be excited about the results as you advance towards your next triumph.
Out of all the peak performance sciences that I’ve studied, the practice which consistently produces extraordinary results is the power of beliefs. A belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a concept or principle as true. Beliefs control our behaviour, either consciously or unconsciously, and subsequently dictates our reality. Do you believe that you’re not evil enough? Do you believe that you’re too busy conquering the netherworld to start going to the gym? Do you believe that your cape makes you look old fashioned? None of these are true! When you endorse limiting beliefs, you create limitations, and its time to start substituting your mental barriers for empowering convictions and unlock your full potential.
If anyone can do something, then so can you.
“No man chooses evil because it is evil, he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
– Mary Wollstonecraft
My final piece of advice is absolutely critical. Everything I’ve taught you up until this point has been regarding the science of achievement, or the process required to go from where you are now to where you want to be. To have an extraordinary life you need to master the science of achievement, but you also need to fully appreciate the art of gratitude. Success is focussed on the future, fulfillment on the present, and to be truly successful you need to balance the imminent with the immediate. Commit yourself to taking the most scare resource that you have, time, and give it back to yourself. Take the time to truly enjoy the screams of despair radiating up from your torture chamber. Stop to thank yourself for possessing the mental fortitude, fiscal capacity, and personal determination to unleash a super-virus on the unsuspecting local population. Give time to yourself to respect your own super powers, and truly appreciate the fear that you inspire in the hearts of the common man. Fulfillment means experiencing tremendous joy and excitement in the process of pursuing your dreams while retaining the enthusiasm for everything that you already possess.
Success without fulfillment is ultimately failure.
Now that we’ve reached the end of our time together, I already know what you’re thinking. I know this, because I’m constantly asked the same question. How can I act as a mentor, a guide, and a coach for super villains, if I don’t even have a super power of my own?
Over the years I’ve helped millions of people change the quality of their lives, and what we’ve discussed here today is the best that I have to impart. I’ve shared my secrets with you, and for that I’m truly excited and grateful. I sincerely believe that each of us has our own purpose, one outstanding quality, one characteristic that sets us apart from everyone else. What is my super power you ask? I’ve already given you my power to take with you on your journey, your quest, and your life: the power of motivation.
I’m Bill Masterson, and thank you for joining me. I hope you’ve enjoyed our time together.
Know who you are, know what you want, and know how to get it. Starting now!
Twenty-five years ago, Bill Masterson’s bitch wife left him. Ever since then, he’s worked as a motivational speaker and helped millions of people achieve the life advantage.
Bill Masterson’s trade specialty includes helping antagonists, villains, and evil geniuses from around the world overcome their limiting beliefs to forge the winning edge.
His previous works include “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Criminal Masterminds,” “How to Win Battles and Intimidate People,” “Unleashing the Super Powers Within,” and most recently, “Self-Help for Super Villains.”
Bill Masterson enjoys self-improvement, exercise, long walks on the beach, and standing back to watch it all burn.
â€œDeep within man dwell those slumbering powers, powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing, forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.â€ -Orison Swett Martin Twenty-five years ago, Bill Mastersonâ€™s bitch wife left him. Ever since then, heâ€™s worked as a motivational speaker and helped millions of people achieve the life advantage. Bill Matersonâ€™s trade specialty includes helping antagonists, villains, and evil geniuses from around the world overcome their limiting beliefs to forge the winning edge. His previous works include â€œThe Seven Habits of Highly Effective Criminal Masterminds,â€ â€œHow to Win Battles and Intimidate People,â€ â€œUnleash the Powers Within,â€ and most recently,â€ Self-Help for Super Villains.â€ Bill Masterson enjoys self-improvement, exercise, long walks on the beach, and standing back to watch it all burn. For more works by Christopher Holmes Nixon, please visit www.foehammerpublications.com.