Santa's Helper: Christmas Stories, Activities, and Jokes for Kids!


Santa’s Helper

By Arnie Lightning

Arnie Lightning Books


Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2015 by Hey Sup Bye Publishing

All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.

Graphics and images used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents


The Case of the Missing Voice

The Proof is in the Pudding Pool

Little Brother

The Weight of Christmas

Christmas from Space

Christmas Jokes

About the Author


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[] The Case of the Missing Voice

Santa’s elves have many jobs. They build and wrap toys. They help bake treats. Many of them spend all of December sitting on shelves, watching over good little boys and girls. But there are two elves that have the hardest jobs in the North Pole. Well, Santa has the hardest job, but Sammy and Tammy have pretty tough gigs, too.

Sam and Tam are Santa’s executive helper elves. They travel all over the world with the big guy himself helping to set up events, so that every child who wants to sit on Santa’s lap and experience that wonderful, brief piece of Christmas magic gets the opportunity to do so.

Standing beside Santa as he listens and speaks with children is not where Sam and Tam’s jobs end, though, it’s where they begin.

Sometimes special children ask Santa for very special gifts, gifts that can’t be bought or built in his workshop. When that happens it usually falls to Sam and Tam to try and figure out how make sure those boys and girls have the best Christmas ever.

Some things that children ask for are beyond even Santa’s ability, but if there’s any way to make Christmas possible, then the big guy, along with Sam and Tam, will make it happen.

This year a seven year old girl named Constance asked Santa for a very special present, she asked for her mother to be able to speak again.

Her mom, Stacy, had been in a really bad car accident, and she had recovered quite well, but she hadn’t said a single word in almost a year. The doctors and nurses couldn’t find a reason for it. “My mom’s voice,” Constance said, “Just got scared away. And I really miss it. She used to sing me to sleep and tell me she loved me. I even miss her yelling at me to clean my room!”

Sam happily took this case on while Tam was busy with her own special children.

Sam had never attended medical school, but he had watched a whole lot of TV shows about doctors, so he felt pretty sure he could handle this.

“If her voice got scared away,” Sam thought, “perhaps it could be scared back! Like how on I Love Lucy when Lucy got amnesia after getting hit in the head, she didn’t get her memory back until she got hit in the head again!”

Most everything that Sam knew about the world came from television.

Convinced this was a fantastic plan, though, he got to work. He sewed together a really excellent bear costume out of pieces of his carpet and waited behind Stacy’s garbage cans. When Stacy got home from work Sam jumped out and growled at her!

“ROAR!” he said, excited to solve this case. Stacy did not scream, though, or say a word. She did however jump back and then hit Sam in the face with a trashcan lid.

Sam said, “Ouch!” and began to run away in search of an ice pack and a new plan when he heard something that he thought might have been Stacy’s voice.

Then he heard it again. It was faint and scratchy, but he clearly heard her say, “What?”

Sam turned back with a big smile on his face, though no one could see it behind the bear mask. “Did you just speak?” he asked.

Stacy said, “Bears can’t talk!”

And Sam said, “Neither can you!”

Stacy’s eyes grew three sizes and she jumped up and down with joy! “I can! I can talk again!” she yelled.

Sam jumped up and down, too! He said, “Yes! Yes! I’m the best elf ever!”

The sight of a bear dancing and congratulating himself was hilarious and started to draw a crowd, including Constance. “Mom?” she said, hopeful and scared.

Stacy turned back to her daughter, smiled, and said out loud for the first time in far too long, “I love you so much!”

Constance cried, and Stacy cried, and Sam cried. Then Sam gave Constance a thumbs up and said, “Santa says Merry Christmas kid!”

And with that Sam was off, headed back to the North Pole to see what adventure awaited him next!

[] The Proof is in the Pudding Pool

Hannah Percy’s letter to Santa read simply, “I would like a swimming pool. And I would like it to be filled with pudding.”

Naturally this letter found its way to Sam the elf who, along with Tam, served as executive helper elves to the big guy in red himself. Sam and Tam took on the hardest gift requests that came across Santa’s desk, the stuff that can’t be made in the workshop or bought at the store. Things like, for example, a swimming pool filled with pudding.

Sam scratched his head as he looked over the letter. “First things first,” he said to himself. “Is this safe?”

Children ask for things sometimes that they just can’t have because the risks are just too high. Young Travis Barkley asked for a “rocket chair” last year. According to the crayon drawing Travis included with his letter, this was just a reclining easy chair with several tons of dynamite strapped to it. And as much as Santa likes to give little boys and girls what they most want in the world, sometimes he has to remember that, even more than that, he wants to not blow children to tiny bits.

Some quick research showed that Hannah was a strong swimmer. That made Sam feel a little better about the whole thing, but water and pudding are just not the same thing. Pudding, for one thing, is delicious.

So was this a delicious treat? Or was it a death trap not unlike the rocket chair? Something about the notion felt like it might end up behaving like quicksand, and that’s no good at all. Quicksand is a terrible Christmas present.

Sam was not a scientist, or a pastry chef, but he felt sure he could work this out. “Pudding is denser than water; therefore it should be easier to float in it,” he thought. “But even if he sinks, if we just give him a spoon it should be no problem right?”

Eventually, unable to convince himself it was entirely safe to swim in pudding, and unwilling to let Hannah down on Christmas morning, Sam made a decision. He find a small kiddy pool for Hannah and fill it with pudding, but only one feet deep, so Hannah could just stand up if she started to sink. And he would make Hannah promise not to swim in it unless her parents were there to be lifeguards, just in case. And he would give everyone really big spoons!

So that’s what he did. In the dead of night on Christmas Eve, under the cover of darkness, with the help of six-dozen other elves, Sam filled a kiddy pool with pudding. Everyone poured the mix, stirred it, and let it settle.

It looked and felt like a giant desert bowl when they were done!

And lastly Sam laid out hundreds of spoons beside the pool. He arranged them so that they said, “Merry Christmas!”

[] Little Brother

Sam and Tam, Santa’s most trusted executive helper elves, handle the most difficult Christmas gift requests from good little boys and girls all over the world.

This year Sam found himself struggling with a particularly tough one, and Tam noticed he was having a hard time. “You all right, partner?” she asked in her normal, cheery way.

“I got myself a head scratcher,” Sam said, actually scratching his head through his warm red and green hat.

“Yeah?” Tam said. “Whatever it is, I bet I can beat it.”

“What are you working on?” Sam asked.

Tam sighed but never stopped smiling, “I’ve got a little girl in Oklahoma who wants a unicorn that poops rainbows.”

Sam laughed deeply and for a long time. Finally, when he had caught his breath, he said, “What are you going to do with that?”

Tam shrugged, “I just got off the phone with my unicorn people. They’re feeding Skittles to a whole bunch of their unicorns and they’re going to get back to me if it works. If it doesn’t we’ll try something else. So what’s yours?”

“I got a young man named Charlie Locke, nine years old, in Brooklyn who wants a brother or sister for Christmas.”

“Oh yeah,” Tam said. “Those are tough because there’s really nothing we can do. Even Santa can’t just create a child for someone. It’s kind of all up to the parents.”

Sam, who spends far too much time watching television said, “I saw this show on TV once where this family had, like, nineteen kids. Maybe I could talk to them? Surely they can spare one.”

“Sammy!” Tam yelled. “That’s horrible!”

“All right. I’m just thinking out loud here. Maybe the elves in the electronic department could build him a brother? They’re making some pretty great robot dogs these days! Are dogs and people really that different?”

“Yes!” Tam yelled again. “They are very different. Plus we tried that one a few years ago. Without going into detail we got a letter the next year that said ‘Dear Santa, please stop my robot brother from trying to violently overthrow the government. I don’t think he’s very nice.”

“Okay, then,” said Sam. “Robot children are right out.”

Sam started pacing the floors of his North Pole office. He had no idea how he was going to fix this, but he had no intention of disappointing Charlie. He walked in circles around his desk until he nearly walked the bells right off his curved toe shoes.

Soon Tam’s phone rang and she said, “Yes? Really? Well that’s no good. I don’t know, maybe try Starburst next?” She hung up the phone and then started Googling rainbows on her tablet.

Then, out of nowhere, Sam understood what he had to do. “I’ve got it!” he said, smiling ear to pointy ear. “He didn’t say he wanted a baby brother! He said he wanted a brother.”

“You can’t steal one of the older children from the family on TV either,” Tam said with a grin.

“No,” Sam answered. “The Big Brother program!”

“Oh,” Tam said. “That’s brilliant!”

“Yeah! There are really great men and women out there with a lot of love to give! I’ll find him the perfect big brother! Someone to throw a ball with and eat chili fries and go to Red Sox games!”

“That’s fantastic!” Sam said. “But Charlie lives in Brooklyn. He’s probably a Yankee fan.”

“That’s why he needs the big brother! To help teach him right from wrong! And being a Yankee fan is just wrong!”

“I think it’s a lovely idea, Sam,” Said Tam.

Sam started searching the Internet for the perfect big brother for Charlie. Someone kind and dependable. Someone honest and with a strong character. And it didn’t take long to find the perfect fit, a young man named Joseph.

Sam got on a call with the big brother right away, and he was even more excited than Sam! It turned out he was actually a Mets fan, but Sam was okay with that. Because he knew Joseph would be a wonderful new brother for Charlie. And at least it wasn’t the Yankees.

[] The Weight of Christmas

“Oooh boy,” Sam said to his partner Tam.

Sam and Tam are Santa Claus’s executive helper elves. They’re the two cute little elves that stand next to the big guy himself as he speaks with children all over the world. And they handle the toughest gift requests from good little boys and girls each year.

“You got yourself another doozy?” Tam asked.

“This one is new territory. It was handed to me personally on the rope line last night. And I have no idea how to even begin.”

“What’s the gift?” Tam said.

“Well, it’s a letter from Elizabeth Jacobs, a six-year-old young lady in London. It reads, Dear Santa: I love you.”

Tam smiled, “So far so good!”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “Just keep listening. ‘I love you, and you bring joy to so many children like me every year. I just want you to be able to continue delivering Christmas happiness for a long, long time.’”

Tam furrowed her little elf brow slightly and said, “She seems great. I’m not seeing the problem.”

Sam said, “It’s coming right now. ‘I know the world would be a much worse place without you. That’s why I’m so concerned about your weight.”

“Ooooh boy!” said Tam. “That is a doozy.”

“It goes on,” Sam said. “’The risks of obesity are great.’”

“She’s six years old and she knows the word ‘obesity’?” Tam asked.

“She even spelled it right!” Sam exclaimed. “There’s more. ‘Heart disease, diabetes—“

Tam cut him off. “There’s no way she spelled ‘diabetes’ correctly.”

Sam answered with, “She got pretty close! So she finishes with, ‘All I want for Christmas is for you to take care of yourself. Maybe slim down a little and be healthier so you can stay alive for all of us!’”

“Well,” Tam said just glad she didn’t get that letter, “Good luck with that!”

“Thanks,” Sam said a little sarcastically. “I’m gonna go see him.”

So Sam made his way to Santa’s personal study. Old St. Nick greeted him warmly, which is the only way Santa knows how to greet someone. “Ho ho ho! Come in my friend,” he said.

“So, Santa,” Sam said. “Not sure where to begin on this one. Um. You see—”

Santa smiled, putting his helper at ease. “Elizabeth Jacobs thinks I need to lose a little weight.”

“How did you know?” Sam asked.

“I’m Santa Claus, Sam! I know everything.”

“Oh! Great!” Sam said. “So you know what we’re going do about this?”

“Well,” Saint Nick said. “I’m sure it will come to me.” This clearly did not help Sam feel better so Santa continued. “You know, many people find it hard to stay trim after they turn forty. And I’m two thousand years old! Plus my belly has to jiggle like a bowl full of jelly! Otherwise it’s just not right!”

“Right. Sure,” Sam said, totally unsure what to do next.

“Here’s the thing,” said Santa. “I’m magical. My belly isn’t made of fat; it’s made of magic. I choose to look like this because it makes people happy. Making people happy is kind of my thing.” Then, with just a twitch of his little elf nose, Santa transformed from head to toe into a man who looked like a professional boxer! Six pack abs, huge biceps and a neck like a tree trunk still largely obscured by a big white beard.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “That’s just weird.”

“Right!?!” Santa stated, more than asked. ”Want me to go back to the regular way?”

Sam thought about this for a moment and said, “Let’s just snap some Instagram photos for Elizabeth Jacobs first.” Then Sam thought a little more and said, “Let’s take the pictures on a treadmill.”

Santa then made his way down to the Workshop gym and climbed on an elliptical machine while Sam took pictures. “I really will do anything for the children on Christmas,” he said.

Sam asked, “Want to do some without a shirt on?”

“Anything but that,” laughed Santa before adding “Ho Ho Ho.”

[] Christmas from Space

Santa has hundreds and hundreds of elves helping him bring Christmas joy to all the good little boys and girls of the world. But there are two elves that take on the most difficult gifts requested by the most special children across the globe. Those two elves are Sam and Tam.

Just a few days before Christmas this year Sam stormed into the executive helper elf office he shares with his partner. His eyebrows were down; his trademark smile was nowhere to be seen. Tam was immediately concerned.

“What’s going on with you?” Tam asked.

“Kids today!” Sam said, as though he were a grumpy old man. “Remember when kids asked us for ponies and fire trucks? I really miss ponies and fire trucks.”

“What has someone asked for that has you so wound up?” Tam asked.

“Well, I’ll tell you,” Sam said. “Miranda Ross, ten years old from Houston, Texas would like the moon.”

“The what?” Tam asked.

“The moon. She would like the moon.”

“The big yellow thing in the sky at night?” Tam said. “Like, the big thing made of cheese?”

“Well,” Sam said, “I’m not sure it’s actually made of cheese but, yes. The moon.”

Tam thought on that for a few moments. “I mean, doesn’t it already kind of belong to all of us?”

“Funny you should ask,” Sam said. “I looked it up. According to a treaty signed by every country in the world, no nation can claim ownership of the moon. So it actually belongs to no one. Which I guess is the same as belonging to everyone.”

“Maybe we could just give him a Moon Pie.” Tam said.

“I don’t think that’s the same thing.”

“It’s close enough. It’s round. It’s made of cheese.”

“Moon pies are made of marshmallows, Tam. Not cheese. Not everything is made of cheese.”

“Everything should be made of cheese,” she said. “And bacon!” Tam then thought for a few more moments and said, “I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast.”

Sam said, “Just for the sake of argument, let’s say I lasso the moon—“

“Big lasso,” Tam said.

“Yeah. So I lasso the moon and bring it down, put it in Miranda Ross’s back yard. What’s the worst thing that happens?”

“I don’t know exactly,” Tam said. “But considering the size and gravity of the thing I’m pretty sure everyone on earth will die.”

“So that’s out.”

“Yeah,” Tam said. Then her tiny elf eyes perked up and she said, “I’ve got it!” She scribbled down an address on a sticky note and handed it to Sam. “Go see a friend of mine. I’ll tell him your coming.”

“Is this going to be about cheese?” Sam asked, looking at the paper.

“No,” she said. “But now that you mention it pick up some pepper jack while you’re out!”

So Sam went off to see what this was all about. When he arrived at the address it turned out that Tam’s friend was none other than Buzz Aldrin! The second man to ever walk on the moon!

Buzz gave Sam an actual moon rock that he brought back from space! “Are you sure you can part with this?” Sam asked.

But Buzz said he’d do anything to help bring Christmas to a special little girl.

So maybe Miranda couldn’t have the whole moon, because some of the most special things in life belong to all of us. But she still got a piece of it to call her own, which, in a way, is a piece of the American Dream. A reminder of what we can achieve when we work together to do something no one has ever done before.

When Miranda opened her gift on Christmas morning she cried tears of joy. And she knew that for the rest of her life she, too, would do all that she could to spread the magic of Christmas.

~ ~ ~


I hope you enjoyed these fun Christmas stories. I kindly ask that you leave a review because I’d love to hear your thoughts, opinions, and suggestions!

[] Christmas Jokes

Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney?

A: Because it soots him!

Q: What do snowmen like most about going to school?

A: Snow and tell!

Q: What’s Santa called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

A: Santa Pause!

Q: When is a good time for Santa to visit?

A: Anytime!

Q: What songs do Santa’s elves sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night?

A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?

A: He had no body to go with!

Q: How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?

A: Chick to chick!

Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

A: Santa Jaws!

Q: Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?

A: Because they both have sandy claws!

Q: Why did Rudolph wear sunglasses at the beach?

A: He didn’t want to be recognized!

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

A: Snowflakes!

Q: What did they call Santa after he lost his pants?

A: Saint Knickerless!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?

A: North Polish!

Q: What can Santa give away and still keep?

A: A cold!

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

A: Fleece Navidad!

Q: Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?

A: In the snowbank!

Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?

A: Because it’s in Decembrrr!

Q: What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas song?

A: Jungle bells!

Q: What’s Scrooge’s favorite Christmas game?

A: Mean-opoly!

Q: How does Santa Claus take pictures?

A: With his North Pole-aroid!

Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out the window?

A: Looks like rain dear (reindeer)!

Q: Which reindeer has the worst manners?

A: Rude-olph!

Q: What does Santa call that reindeer with no eyes?

A: No-eyed-deer!

Q: What was the hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?

A: Oh Comb All Ye Faithful!

Q: Who delivers cat Christmas presents?

A: Santa Claws!

Q: What is red then white and red then white?

A: Santa rolling down a snowy hill!

[] About the Author

Arnie Lightning is a dreamer. He believes that everyone should dream big and not be afraid to take chances to make their dreams come true. Arnie enjoys writing, reading, doodling, and traveling. In his free time, he likes to play video games and run. Arnie lives in Mississippi where he graduated from The University of Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg, MS.

Click Here for More Books by Arnie Lightning

Santa's Helper: Christmas Stories, Activities, and Jokes for Kids!

The Stories About Santa's Helpers! Sammy and Tammy (Santa's special Christmas elves) have the toughest job in all the North Pole, besides Santa's job of course. They are Santa's executive helper elves. When children ask for special gifts that can't be made by Santa or the elves, it's their job to find a way to make their wish come true! These stories are great for early & beginning readers, reading aloud at home, and bedtime stories. -3,000+ words -Cute Christmas stories for kids -Perfect for early and beginner readers -Funny and hilarious Christmas jokes included -Bright and colorful images for early and younger readers These stories are great for quick bedtime stories and cute tales to be read aloud with friends and family! Fun for the entire family! Kids and children can practice their reading skills and enjoy the holiday season. These special Christmas stories are sure to get you and your family in the Christmas spirit. The hilarious Christmas jokes will have everyone laughing! Story List & Activities: -The Case of the Missing Voice -The Proof is in the Pudding Pool -Little Brother -The Weight of Christmas -Christmas from Space -Plus Christmas Jokes! Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie Lightning Arnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity! Scroll up and click 'buy' to make some special Christmas memories with your child!

  • ISBN: 9781311219886
  • Author: Hey Sup Bye Publishing
  • Published: 2015-09-14 22:05:09
  • Words: 3912
Santa's Helper: Christmas Stories, Activities, and Jokes for Kids! Santa's Helper: Christmas Stories, Activities, and Jokes for Kids!