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Pebbles on My Way Home

Pebbles on My Way Home

 

****

 

By Hiranya Borah

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2016 Hiranya Borah

 

Shakespir Edition

 

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

Thank You for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favourite authorized retailer.

Thank you for your support.

Preface

 

The points given in this book are my experiences while aging to the age of 55. Some points are written in a negative way to spice up my experiences of life. Originally, I thought, I shall give the name of the book as ‘Quotable Quotes of Borah-baba’ as some of friends use this name for my leg-pulling. After going through the manuscript, I find that, these are nothing but my experiences while I have gone through different phases of my life.

You may like some of them, trash some of them and in the extreme case, you may trash all of them.

Thanks to my readers and friends and above all my family for their constant support to write something usual and unusual. I love them all.

Thanks to Shakespir for publishing this small book along with my other books.

 

Author

Pebbles on My Way Home

 

 

 

 

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I found finally, why my classmates (males) became old and my classmates (females) are still young and beautiful! When we were in college, the girls used to wear mekhela-chadar/ sari, now most of them are wearing pant-shirt/ skirt (occasionally churidar etc). But we are still clutching to old pant shirt. The ladies are now with short and smart hair like we used to have in our college days. Now we get rid of those short hairs from our head permanently. It is high time; we have to think something out of box to match our counterpart!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. When I attended, a lecture delivered by Bill Gates at Vigyan Bhawan which was also attended by a galaxy of intellectuals and Cabinet Ministers, I was glad to see that the Hon’ble Prime Minister was also attending the lecture and subsequent discussions, sitting at the front row for long two and a half hours. I observed that as an ardent listener he did not utter a single word and heard the lecture and subsequent discussion with full attention. Then I realized to reach to the top one should be a good listener along with to be an articulate speaker!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. On Demonetization by Government of India, I observed, Hoarding of Different Kind. It is a pure statistical analysis:
Rs.1,36 Lakh crore in new currency against Rs.10 Lakh Crore old currency which is 1/7 of the total demand, goes to the people in first ten-eleven days. But still people are not getting any money in the market, why? The reason is simple, those who got it they do not want to spend in the market due to insecurity! Hoarding of small denomination and new currency started. It is a habit we should not be proud of! Again corollary to that I did not visit a bank in first six days after demonetizing as I was able to pay all the utility bills and making payment for petrol by giving old notes (500/1000). During the extension period none had objected to take. Even I was getting my changes. And I am sure, my face is not so beautiful to get some special preferences!!!! Nor I am wearing some expensive dresses, then why politicians were crying hoarse for the poor people!!!!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Simple statistics on demonetization in India: Till 21.11.2016, 1.36 Lakh crore of new notes have been withdrawn. So, for 28 Crore households average withdrawal was Rs.4800/- in 14 days. Average per capita household income is less than Rs.5000/- per month for majority of the households as per Socio-economic census, 2012-14 (popularly known as caste census). So where is the problem? May be a hoarding problem or uneven distribution of withdrawal. So, all the stakeholders should come together and see that distribution become equi-distributed among all regions. Further, appeal should be made for not holding back the new notes. For some services, old 500/1000 notes can also be used and otherwise these notes can be deposited up to 30.12.2016. This information should be widely publicized.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. When many people uploaded pictures how they would look at 100, I expressed my thanks to them as they had given me an opportunity to see their faces how they would look at 100. As I am sure, I shall not be around to see them at their 100. I also do not want to live up to 100 or more to see them at their 100th birth day. Rather I want to leave when all my friends are around and scream, 'What! that b--d has gone without any intimation! He was -- years younger than I.' Bless me to die in the arms of a loved one, surrounded by beautiful people; not at the edge of bed of a hospital surrounded by some people with white coats!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. One fine morning I became free from a guilty feeling of being a hypocrite. Many of my close friends complain about me that, what I preach, I am not a man of that kind, which I never contest thinking that I am the worst hypocrite in this world. 
On that morning, I got a whatshup message from a person who does not have any respect for our culture nor any respect for the elders, who never address an elderly person with due respect, always refer teachers and senior relatives by name, gave a preaching on teaching of our children. I do not know if he/she has ever taught anything about our culture and heritage to their children. If she can give such preaching, why cann’t I? Thanks to the person to give me the relief from carrying a burden of guilty feelings of a Hypocrite for rest of my life!!!!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I observed, a good Indian lives for his/her children, a bad Indian lives for his/ her neighbours and relatives!!!! No one is cent percent good or bad. So, I criticise both. But most of the Indians never live for themselves. It is an Indian tragedy! Perhaps! 

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Worst observation in the recent times: Three ladies, my sister, my daughter and my wife were sitting on the dining table while I was preparing coffee for all of us at the kitchen. My sister started, ‘Last night I saw in my dream, thousands of girls waiting to tie rakhis on my brother’s wrist. I felt so insecure, I could not sleep rest of the night!’ 
‘How strange!’ My daughter said, ‘I also saw a similar dream. Thousands of young girls were queuing up to be adopted by my father as his daughters. I also got up and could not sleep rest of the night!’
My wife was also not far behind. ‘I had a very busy dream last night. There was a congregation of ladies from age 18 to 80. God ordered me to find a co-wife for me (second wife for Hiranya) by asking consent from each lady present there. I asked each lady one by one and unfortunately none has given consent till seven in the morning. I felt very sorry for him. Getting the result Hiranya cried so loudly in the kitchen, I got up. Now you see how obediently he is preparing coffee for us in the kitchen.’

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. A few lines of an essay on “raksha bandhan’ (A festival when a sister ties decorated thread on the wrist of her own brother, cousins and who she considers as brother):
It is a festival of North India, enjoyed by both the sex before the age of 13 and after the age of 39. But between the age 13-39, the main component of the festival, Rakhi is used to control the unruly Romeos by the unwilling Juliets. In the process many hearts are broken beyond repair!!!!!
The essay got 8.5 out of 10. To know why 1.5 mark had been deducted I did lot of research and found that the teacher’s heart was also broken many a times when he was in college and university!!!!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Exactly 38 years ago I passed my 12th examination with 73.3% over all. But in English I got only 52.5%. But now I am trying my hand in writing in English on different topics. Some of my writing are liked by a section of readers. I am thankful to those readers for showing their love for my writing. A few months ago when my youngest daughter passed her 12th with rainbow colour, one extreme to the other, I was extremely happy with her, because all the seven colours will make white colour, colour of peace and tranquillity. Do not ask me her marks as she got a mark which will be more than many and less than many. I take the opportunity to congratulate all those who got more than her and I am sure, some of them, those who got less than her, will be more successful in their life; and therefore, I wish them best of luck for their future. Marks in examination is nothing but a number only. How much you are successful depends upon how much you are useful to the society and to the country. Therefore, I always wish them all the best, those who appeared/ passed/ scored good marks for a better future.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. How we perceive a birth day of a loved one? When my youngest daughter turned eighteen I gave post on my FB. It said, ‘Eighteen years ago she joined as the cutest member of our family. Still she is the cutest. But she is now going to be a responsible citizen of the country as well. Now many avenues will be opened to her. Hope God will always be kind to her. Kindly Bless her on her birth day, to be a good and successful human being.’

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. How we perceive a death of a loved one who might not even be a relative of ours? How I reacted to death of a senior officer a few months back? Please read what I had written on my FB. ‘Jeylakshmi madam, ex DG, CSO who was my boss for more than five years as ADG SSD, CSO was more like my elder sister. She was like a mother to the younger generation of ISS officers working under her and elder sister for others like me who worked under her for few years. So far our office is concerned, she was a mother or elder sister offor all the staff irrespective of rank and file. Her untimely death made a void not only for me and my family but also for anyone who knew her. I pray to the Almighty, she may be allowed to be in the heaven permanently so that she need not have to suffer again in this world of sufferings. God give her family including her aged parents strength to overcome the tragedy.’

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I observed, from my experiences in the last thirty plus years of service, the relation of the Boss and his/ her Subordinates: First of all, we have to understand that, in an office no one is absolute boss nor absolute subordinate. If one is boss for someone, he/ she is subordinate to another one.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Few tips to the officers/ officials to become enemy number one of their boss are submitted for kind consideration of all the officers/ officials as subordinates:

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Disobey your boss and argue with him/ her on all his instructions/ suggestions.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Further instigate your colleagues and subordinate to disobey him/her.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Ridicule his suggestions/ instruction in public.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Ignore him in front of his wife in a public place.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. If your boss is a traditional person refer him/ her as old hack.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. If your boss is young and has some soft corner for few subordinates of opposite sex due to their contribution to the office work, assassinate his/ her character before everyone so that your boss comes to know.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. If you are a lady and you do not want to do any official work, threaten your all male bosses of filing a case of sexual harassment if anyone tries to force you to do some works. In an extreme case, sometimes, you file one or two. Then I am sure, you make a host of enemies for your life.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Suppose your boss is a workaholic one. You submit your leave application when he/ she is doing a time bound urgent work, not occasionally but on regular basis. Or you may send a sms to your boss telling that you are not coming to office whenever your boss told you on the previous day to come early for an urgent piece of work. Then slowly he/ she becomes an enemy of you.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Suppose your current boss is a lady and you are also a lady; but your expectation is same (you were taking lot of undue advantages from your earlier male boss) from the current boss. As soon as you put up your note/ draft very casually like you did earlier, initially your boss will try to make you understand to be careful in future. But to make her your enemy you ignore her friendly advices and you will be definitely successful in making her your enemy within a six months’ period!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. You telephone your boss in odd hours to tell him that you are not coming to office on the next day. Do this repeated for six months and gradually you will be successful in making your boss an enemy.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Now let us talk how a boss can be unpopular among his subordinates and for some enemy number one in due course of time.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Reject all leave applications irrespective of merit in the applications for few officials or en mass depending upon your intention to make everyone enemy or make only a few.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Tell your subordinates to improve the draft; but never tell them how to improve the drafts. However, you make draft yourself for someone you like. In no time you will be to make few enemies in the office.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Reject leave application of your subordinate as you will be on leave during that period on the same ground.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Let them work day and night for your foreign visits without even thanking them.

Give them a grade which is below bench mark for their promotions.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Deny all the facilities to the subordinates for which they are entitled and you take all the benefits.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I understand that human being is the only animal in the visible world, who can eat even when his belly is full. He can go for sex when the female is not in a state of ‘heat’ nor for any intention for reproduction. He can kill any animal including fellow human being, not necessarily for eating, just for fun or for revenge. Human beings are the worst animal God had produced!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. In your life, if you are not from a very rich family, you may have to survive on AKHADYA (NO FOOD/ PROHIBITED FOOD/ FOOD with BAD TASTE). All depends upon how hungry when you get those food!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I started my cooking expedition from an early age of 4(four). I would not have believed this, but my only sister, who is seven year younger than I, when she was born, my mother did not go to kitchen for a month or so, as a custom prevalent in those days in rural part of Assam, I could prepare meals for all the family members without any help or instruction from any corner. With a corollary to this fact, clearly in my own memory, I think, my mother might be truthful, that I had started my cooking journey at the tender age of 4. I still wonder how my family used to eat those akhadya (no food), cooked by this lesser mortal. Remember that in those days, we did not have any gas stove etc in our family. We had to cook with wooden and bamboo sticks only.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. You may be pondering why I had to burn my little fingers at an early age when other children were not even able to serve a glass of water to a guest. The answer lies in between social customs, economic reasons and encouragement of elderly ladies to the male folk (in this case advice came from my grandma to my father) not to do any household chores. In those days, during menstrual period a lady (in this case my mother) did not go to kitchen and servants were not allowed to cook any food (only tea was allowed) in my family. During that period, my father was also in a transition period of becoming a full-fledged family man from a hotheaded bachelor (the situation was encouraged by his mother, i.e. my grandmother). Again, please do not infer that my family was monstrous or something like that, because of those weird social behaviour! In our villages, the fate of most of the children was no different from mine. Anyhow, because of learning of few cooking skills, life of my wife becomes very cosy (no she does not admit it, contrary to that, she is very sad that I was used by my mother for her own good!).

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Sometimes I think, I should have tried my hands in ‘Master chef competition’ aired by different TV channels. But, on the next moment, I use to tell myself, that those competitions are meant for those aspiring cooks, who are accustomed with kaju, kismis, badam etc.-not with ahu rice, kasu, mani-mooni saag (all the items are only available in rural India normally for poor people except the last one) etc. like me. So, the idea has been dropped like a hot potato. Here my observation is that, cooking is a necessity for the poor and cooking is a hobby for the rich.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I have observed in my life that an Akhadya for someone may be a good/excellent food for someone else. Therefore, nothing is Akhadya in the world par se, as long as it is digestible, tasty for at least to a person or to a group of persons. So far I am concerned, I like all types of food as long as I can digest. But still I am not taking many types of food due to many reasons, ranges from religious to personal taste. Taking food is always a personal and essential issue to survive.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Love is mostly un-explainable. I want to share a story, a real one, about a broad mind of a young man who loves his wife even after knowing about her illicit relation with another man. His extreme realization of life is as good as that of the achievements of the great personalities in the world who are blessed by God. But he was an ordinary man. In this case my observation was, to do an extra-ordinary work, you need not to be an extra-ordinary man.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. There are some relations with some persons which are beyond normal social relations of any society. These relations are not defined in law or in social norms. I came to know about feeling of a lady about a man on his death, whom she loves with absolute devotion but void of any expectation. The man also, perhaps loved the lady but did not say anything about his feeling till his death.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Normal feeling about death is mourning and contrary to that, birth symbolizes happiness. But that is not true always. That is an idea I got after attending a number of funerals at different places.

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p<>{color:#000;}. Discussion about own birth, if it is not a respectable one, in most of the society is a taboo. Rightly or wrongly, when we boasted our lineage, nothing wrong is seen by our societies. But when a person claims, he was not born from a married couple, we become uncomfortable. We become more uncomfortable when a person claims that he was born from a legally married couple unexpectedly. We become further more uncomfortable when a person claims that he was born from a legally married couple unexpectedly and he was unwanted by his father or by mother or by both. Finally, we become extremely uncomfortable when a person claims he was born from a legally married couple when his mother was raped by his own father.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Recently marital rape is a very hot topic to be discussed in India. Whether marital rape should be tried in the court of law or not, is an issue which has been debated inside and outside the parliament of India. I do not know the nitty gritty of the issue in the lawyers’ point of views, but I heard this phrase for the first time in 1978 as a student of higher secondary student of Cotton college. Rishabh (name changed) who was a class mate of mine for two years, told me for the first time this phrase for his own birth. His whole story I am sharing in a book of mine. However, I did not hear the phrase for many years till I met a lady from an elite background who told this phrase when I was travelling with her in a second class AC compartment from Guwahati to New Delhi by Rajdhani Express in 1994-95. Her explanation of marital rape is shared in my book. In the two cases referred above, mother of Rishabh and the lady travelling with me became pregnant after so claimed ‘Marital Rape’ and gave birth three sons, one is Rishav himself another two by the lady, ten and six-seven years at that time. The case Rishabh is based on conjectures or based on over hearing of some sentences loosely spoken during arguments of his parent. However, in the case of the lady, it was her claim that she was raped by her husband on regular basis and impregnate her without her will or consent. As all we know, if we hear one side of the story, it is a perfect case. Therefore, I am sharing these three cases on the basis of claims made by one party (so called victims) only. Irrespective of the truth in these three cases, the issue is a very sensitive issue Personally, I feel it is more of a social problem than a legal one.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. We inherit many traits from our parents, irrespective of the fact whether we like those or we do not like those at all. Liking for travelling I inherited from my mother. Even with limited resources she had travelled more places than my father, who did not like travelling at all. I have been able to pass on that instinct to my offspring even though my wife likes to stay at home more than outside.

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p<>{color:#000;}. I have already visited 31 out of 36 States and Union Territories of India. Many of the State capitals have been visited more than once and a few have been visited more than even ten times. Even after 10 visits, I am always looking forward for another visit to those cities. Why? It might be coming out of my traits or out of my habits. Two habits are my forte: one- addressing public meetings/ students for hours and two- hunger to travel and making friends from all sorts of life. I always try to observe all the things around me minutely as far as possible though I cannot claim to be a keen observer of life. I have both good and bad experiences while travelling around the country and around the globe. But I always share my good experiences with my friends and therefore in my writing also you may find only good parts of my journey. However, for fair comparison, I mention some comparative aspects of different cities with others. In my opinion all people of the cities are good in some parameters and bad on some other parameters. Every city has some plus and some minus.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Attempting something new is always challenging. Writing a few books in last two years has given me the confidence to write something for the readers. Some of the books are liked by the readers more and some are liked less. That is quite natural. I did try to write few poems in my mother tongue when I was in school and college. Some of them were also published by local magazines. But somehow, I was never comfortable in writing poetry. Even after writing more than 50 odd books I am yet to discover the winning formula to win the hearts of the readers: some of the books are popular and some are not at all despite of my equal efforts.

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p<>{color:#000;}. A few days back, to kill boredom, I wrote a poem and posted on my facebook. To my surprise many people liked it and I got lot of encouraging comments. That is beginning of my attempt to write some poems. Some good things happened by accidents; I started believing this now.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I personally never believe the existence of ghost or spirit because I have never met any ghost or spirit in my 54 years of adventurous life. During last 54 years I had to stay alone at guest houses, ordinary houses, open fields in rural areas, jungles, small towns, cities and metro polis, but never met a spirit or ghost. But still I enjoy in reading or hearing a ghost story. All the stories in my book ‘Beautiful Ghost’ and some other books were either told to me when I was a kid less than ten years of age by my relatives to deter me from going outside home at night or out of sheer imagination only. But at that time and today also those stories could not scare me, instead they amuse me. With that background, I wrote those stories in my own language in that book. As readers liked my first book, I tried my hand in penning down some more stories. Now many people think I have some special power to communicate with ghosts. Therefore, I realized readers are the actual boss of a writer.

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p<>{color:#000;}. After meeting hundreds of spirits of female all over the world, the narrator met for the first time a male spirit on a flight to Mumbai. As per the narrator, God has been kind enough to enhance his power to see and communicate with male spirits. Still some of my readers think that I have the power. Though I enjoyed the false status sometime, I think, the readers who believe I have the power actually they aspire for the power!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I wrote a story about a real girl who used to drive very fast and after one year she had gone missing from my radar. I have told many people about this particular girl and always pray to God, she should be hale and hearty. Recently when I told about this girl to a young colleague, Miss Salvi, she suggested me to write about her. So I wrote a fictitious story as meeting her after her death though this has no relation with any living or dead person. People like the story. Somehow ghost stories are salable!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Though I never believe existence of ghosts, I feel sometimes, journey of a soul cannot be ended with death. It is like travelling in different modes covering different terrains. Good souls may continue their good works even after death and bad souls will continue their bad works unabated. This is my personal thought.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. In a book on cancer, I wanted to write something about some ordinary people who are great fighters who defeated impending death with indomitable courage. They changed the direction of wind to their favour from a hopeless position. I took the challenge to write about them with all humility on a request from a junior lady officer. As I am not from medical profession, my stories may be seen as a laymen’s point of view. All the stories are based on real life experience, but to safeguard the privacy of these heroes, I am slightly modifying their names and places of occurrence. However, as I got permission from some of the heroes or their close relatives, I revealed their identities. I got some positive responses from some of my readers, which gives me a positive attitude to write some compelling social and medical issues.

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p<>{color:#000;}. I learnt one thing from few extra-ordinary cancer patients that those fought with cancer with a positive frame of mind can defeat the dreaded disease for at least ten to fifteen years. No doubt some had left us; but with dignity and respect after completion of their duties as father, as mother, as husband, as wife, as daughter, as son or as a person working for the social order.

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p<>{color:#000;}. I was also able to find out some non-medical reasons why many of the cancer patients lost the battle of cancer without a fight. I tried to figure out some ideas through which they could have made their lives longer.

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p<>{color:#000;}. I experienced of meeting some of cancer warriors who did not last for long but they lived their short spans with dignity and leaving the world with happiness.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I realized some facts through a hard way. A good doctor is true representative of God. Therefore, patient should follow his advice with all humility. But one should always remember, one is empowered by God to be the master of one’s body and mind. No one can be the master of your body and mind without permission of you. Most of the time we allow our family members, our superiors, our leaders to be the masters of our bodies and minds. And while we are sick we allow doctors are to be our boss. The more you allow these people to be your masters, you are going to be a slave of these people. Sometimes we allow diseases to be our master and that is the worst part of our life. Those persons, who do not allow diseases to be their masters, they can live longer or in case, even they live a short life, they can enjoy their life fully with dignity and happiness. In the book on cancer, I want to share the outlook of some of the people who are the masters of their lives and they defeated cancer or they lived with cancer with dignity. I tried to share three types of stories in that book, one who fought with cancer and won, second, who fought with cancer, but lost the battle with dignity and valour and third categories of people, who lost the battle before it was started.

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p<>{color:#000;}. My realization after meeting these patients, I would like to suggest the patients and their relatives: Go to the doctors to take advice, to consult, for surgery and to take any sort of medical treatment whenever you are sick. Let the doctors do their duties to make you fit to be able to fight your own battle. Doctors are blessed to serve you. But never let doctor to be master of your body and mind even you are sick. All doctors follow the average treatment on the basis of average experiences. Being a professional statistician, I know the loopholes of using average as a perfect measure. Always, remember you are different individual having a unique body and mind. Therefore, so long you are capable of taking decisions; do not take any decision on the ‘average experience’ of a particular doctor or group of doctors. For example, your doctor advises to undergo an operation at the third or fourth stage of cancer. You have to take a decision whether to go for an operation or not because you have to take a decision whether you want to help the doctor to make some experiences to develop his skills which may be helpful for other patients or you really feel that you have a better chance to survive for longer period and so on. But never allow your relatives and doctors decide whether you should go for an operation or not. Never forget, you are the master of your body and mind (I am and shall be repeating this sentence again and again deliberately). Remember, doctors are only service provider like any other essential service providers who seldom work for charity and your relatives have their own agenda, good or bad. The persons who do not allow anyone to be master of his/her body and mind live not necessary longer but a content and happy life. The persons who can battle for their own causes are likely to live to the last breath of his life. Many of us die long before we actually die because we are not the masters of our own lives.

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p<>{color:#000;}. I became very happy, when I heard a patient was motivated from my book on cancer. He thanked for my last chapter where I tried to analyse, why some are winners and some are losers.

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p<>{color:#000;}. I learnt on thing after writing few books, whenever, I portray myself as the protagonist of a book, many readers think the story actually revolves around me.

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p<>{color:#000;}. Books on sex, erotica have more readers than any other books. This may be due to our inherent short comings about our manhood or due to some un-full-filled desire for some impossible sexual aspirations.

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p<>{color:#000;}. We always aspire to meet the God in our life time. Many saints claim that they were able to feel the presence of God through meditation and through pure sacrifices. Main hurdle in our life is our ego to feel the presence of God. I want to tell my readers unless we get rid of our ego of being superior to others, we shall not be able to feel the essence of Almighty. But it is not that simple! But yes, once I heard the inner voice of myself and finally able to feel the essence of true happiness.

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p<>{color:#000;}. Identification of a lady by her fragrance for a normal person may be illusionary and as such, it may be a psychological problem on the part of me. Therefore, relating fragrance with nature of a lady may be imaginary and is not based on any scientific study on the part of me nor it carries any scientific reasoning. But my relation with a lady depends upon her body fragrance. I have written ‘melody of fragrance’ keeping this concept in mind. Many people started sniffing their wives and reported back to me which gave me immense pleasure realizing that many readers actually follow my books.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. First love is always memorable. But in most of the cases, the affair closes with a tragic end. In a story, where I wrote about a love story where it was finished before it took off. The story was based on the real experience of a friend of mine. I do not know whether, this is a story of love or just an inspirational one. Both the parties were winner in their own perspectives. None was unhappy at the end, albeit for different reasons. Looking at the figures relating to downloads, my efforts has been recognized. I think it is because, many of us are having some untold tragic love stories!!

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. Many of my close friends complain about me that, what I preach, I am not a man of that kind. Hearing those critism, I was feeling something wrong inside me. However, one day morning, few days back, I became free from all guilty feelings of duplicity. On that morning, I got a Whatshup message from a young mother who does not have any respect for our culture nor any respect for the elders, who never address an elderly person with due respect, always refer teachers and senior relatives by name gave a preaching on teaching of our children. I do not know if she has ever taught anything about our culture and heritage to her children. I am restrained myself from reproducing it in verbatim what it says. Thanks to her to give me the relief from carrying a guilty feeling of a Hypocrite for rest of my life!!!!

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. When I was sharing something about my bleeding heart, I got rousing responses from my friends. I do not know whether these responses are basically for genuine sympathy for me or based on their own experiences.

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p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I realized to be always thankful to all beautiful ladies whom I love as mom, sister, daughters and most importantly the girlfriends (not necessarily all of them reciprocated) for their inspiring words and actions which are the mainstay of my life.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I realized to be always thankful to my wife who has given me three wonderful children and stayed with me for the last thirty plus years.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I realized through lot of interactions with many friends and foes that, first love of any person may not be the lady whom one kisses for the first time or with whom one has slept for the first time in life. A wife is, normally, not the first love of her husband, nor the first lady to be kissed by her husband nor with whom her husband had slept for the first time. Only a very few lucky wives can claim to be the first love of her husband and first for other actions of a male and female.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I realized throughout my life that statistics is a most under-valued subject because of boring statisticians (including me). I tried to make the subject interesting by my own in my book ‘Funny Statistics, Serious Statisticians,’. The book does not contain any new theorems of statistics nor gives any new additions to the statistical works already available in public domain. The articles are presented in a different perspective for easily understandable language. Readers from non-statistical background may read this book as a story book and statisticians may have an idea of official statistics. Stories and sub-stories written in this book are mostly based on personal experiences of my life.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. One-day Emperor Akbar the Great asked his trusted courtier Birbal, ‘What is the distance between ‘True and False?’ Birbal said, ‘About two inches.’ When Akbar asked him to explain what he had said, Birbal explained, ‘What you can see, that is true and what you hear may be false. Truth is visible and can be believed without further verification. Hearsay has always to be verified from other relevant materials and evidences. If one believes hearsay, he is likely to commit mistakes in his decision-making process.’ Emperor was happy to hear the answer. But my experience in life is that, at times what you see is also not true. In a book, I tried to depict a story where everything was based on falsehood. But everybody, except one person, saw as if everything was right. The right person was implicated wrongly and wrong person was portrayed as an honest person. I gave the name of the book as ‘Only He Knows’. Here ‘He’ means the protagonist and the Almighty. I am happy many readers like the concept.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Though I personally believe that no disease can be associated with any misdeed or sin committed by a person, many people think that way, because of their religious beliefs or social teachings.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Then anyone can ask me, why I repeatedly associate adultery with cancer in a book. The reason is deep rooted in our minds, in our society and in our religions where we always try to associate our sufferings and misfortunes with our misdeeds. I heard the statement made by many patients, ‘I have not done anything wrong, why God has punished me with this particular deadly disease?’ I have no answer for that.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. I realized in my life that, there are some love affairs which cannot be defined as normal. I wrote in one of my books, love of the protagonist for a classmate falls in an undefined category. He was in love with the lady for long thirty-five years even though he knew all along that she was not in love with him. Bubble burst took place when the lady candidly admitted that she did not know very existence of the protagonist even as a classmate.

#
p<>{color:#1D2129;}. He/ she (or me) realized that his family is real and love for any other lady/ man is nothing but an illusion. So, my advice to all married persons to cling to his/her spouse.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Any article which may not carry any new thoughts nor give any new philosophy towards life may also be liked by people, if it has universal appeal. The articles published in my first book are also like new packaging by small grocers, from big packets bought from large farms/ whole sellers. Stories and sub-stories are written as if these are told to a group of friends after third or fourth peg of whisky. But the book has been liked by many!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. By criticising and praising my books, many of my friends, directly or indirectly encouraged me to write more books, for which, I shall be always thankful to them. I realized one fact in hard way that foes and critics are equally important in your life.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I wrote a story based on a village girl who destined to win all the battles wherever she was pitted, against all the odds. However, she was not from Assam as I portrayed in the story. I have not given any name of the person who had helped her all along as an elder brother and as a mentor. I did it that way because I found some persons (number may be very less) who help intelligent poor village girls and boys to achieve their goals unconditionally.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Always first day is an interesting day for any one. If anyone is asked which first day is the most important day and most memorable day, he/ she may ponder for an answer. I cannot say which is the most memorable day for you; but definitely I can say, which is (was) the most important day for you even though it cannot be remembered by you. For every living creature, not only for human being, the most important day is the day on which he/she/ it had born. You will agree with me whole world revolves around you and without your birth, nothing is available or visible or sensible in this world. All the relations started the moment you had born; father mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt cousin and so on. At a later stage, you will find your boss, subordinate, master, servant and so on. But without your existence, nothing exists. So, without any doubt that is the most important day for all of us. But unfortunately, that cannot be a memorable day for you!!!!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Therefore, your most important day cannot be the most memorable day for you; that is for sure. For most of us, second most important day may be the most memorable day of our life if our most important day comes after we have attained our consciousness. Meeting of your life partner may be the second most important day of your life and most memorable day of your life; may be for the right reason or for the wrong reason. Birth of each child may also be some of the most important days of a person’s life!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. If first day is pure and clean, the first night is full of mysteries; may be full of romance-may be full of despair! But I am sure, all of you will be interested to know more about first night(s) of our lives. Why we are interested to know about first nights on different topics like first night with wife, girlfriend, at hostel, at hotel, at hotel on foreign soil, in a jungle and so on of others? I think because we envy others.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I wrote some stories based on my personal life. Though I was not claiming it was as an autobiography, the responses from some of my friends and readers were very strong. I like it.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I wrote another story of a lady who met an old good man with all good qualities but she misunderstood him totally. Her realization came through a tough test of life. She finally realized why the middle-aged man is loved by so many ladies of different ages, why parents allow their daughters to go with him even at midnight, why husbands do not hesitate to let their wives to hug him even in public places. He is unique! If he is not a father to a young girl, if he is not a son to an old lady, a brother to a lady of his own age, if he is not a friend of a lady, even then he is a man whom one can rely blindly; he will never mislead her, once she believes him. Many people asked me whether I was the old man in the story. I said no, I do not I have all those qualities; but yes, I have some so far maintaining good and respectable relations with ladies.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. In that story, many argues that it was an extreme example of unhappy life of a lady; but I think it is not impossible to find a lady in your vicinity who is suffering all along for lack of inclusive decision making process of our family structure.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. In another book, I wrote a bizarre story or a perverted one where an old man married a young beautiful girl of his grand- daughter’s age. To lure the girl, all the properties were transferred to her. However, within three months of marriage, the old man was able to garner respect and true love from the young girl! This is the same old story of eternal love with a twist at the end. Some of the readers liked it! Because we may have a hidden aspiration to have a relation with lady of half of one’s own age!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I realized that sometimes telling a story in prose form is time consuming. Therefore, whenever I feel that, I try my hand in poetry. We all live in some types of illusions in our day to day life. Recently, I have also developed an illusion that I can also write poems expressing my mind to the readers. My illusions have been reinforced by some ‘Wow’ comments made by some readers when some of the poems were posted on FB.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Every young and old in this world want to win heart of others. Majority of the people want to win heart of the opposite sex baring a minority of the people who are more interested in same sex. A number books are already available in the public domain where thousands of ways and means were written to win hearts of your love ones. But I want to share here one estimate where it is said 80 % of the married people heave a sigh whenever they see an apparently happy couple holding each other’s hand in public place. Therefore, I would like to go along with the majority of the married males who fail to go with their wives hand in hand in public! This is very much alarmingly high in India because of the fact that the most of the couples carry on their togetherness because of family pressure and social compulsions rather than love between them. Further, long and tedious divorcing process may be one of the reasons for which the couple try to continue their married life through adjustments. Divorcing process for most of communities, ladies have upper hand compared to their counter parts. However, for a particular community, it is other way around! I tried my hand to elicit this complex issue in a book. My book will not encourage any divorcing process of married couple of any communities; rather it will discuss how a person can scuttle his opportunity to win a girl’s heart by his own deeds.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Like in all other books, I was in the centre stage as the whipping boy for failing to win heart of beautiful ladies or close friend of the loser; though not necessarily I was always the fallen guy or friend of a fallen guy. To protect the dignity of the people who are known to me and fail to win heart of their love ones, I projected in all the stories as it happened to me or my faceless friends in the hands of many damsels. Surprisingly people liked it!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. There is a reference in the famous book ‘The God Father- Part-I” of Mario Puzzo on saying ‘No’. Success of a person depends upon his/ her saying a ‘No’ to a proposal. How to say a ‘no’ depends upon the situation under what condition, you have to say a ‘No’. Keeping the central theme of a ‘no’, you may convey the message without actually pronouncing the word ‘No’. Sometimes you may have to say an empathic ‘No’ and sometimes a very apologetic ‘No’. For example, you may have to say a ‘No’ to your children very strongly when their demands are not reasonable. But when your boss (or someone, very powerful) asks something/ unreasonable favour from you, you may not be that straight forward. But you must have to convey the message that you are not going to fulfil his/her unreasonable demand(s). Remember, saying ‘yes’ is the easiest answer anybody can give (Fulfilment of the promise is, however, another factor). Sometimes, a ‘no’ may cost thousands of lives (best example: Destruction of Spanish Armada). Therefore, while saying a ‘No’ you, sometimes, have to be very cautious/diplomatic, as this may jeopardize your/your family’s security in terms of physical or financial or may be both. In many occasions, we have to say ‘Yes’ instead of a ‘No’ to quell over an impending storm. Sometimes, you cannot reject a foolish suggestion of your boss/ friend/well-wisher, because you think that, you may lose goodwill/a friend/well-wisher by just saying a ‘No’. Sometimes you do not say ‘No’ at a particular moment, as at that time you want to avoid an argument due to various reasons.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. But some persons have a habit to start any sentence by saying a “No’. For example, if you ask him/her when he is returning from market, (you know the fact), ‘Are you returning from the market? His answer would be, ‘No, I am returning from the market.’ Those persons are known for their negativity. For them saying a ‘No’ is not difficult. But to mean it- for them also, sometimes, it is very difficult. The person who starts with a ‘no’ is a negative minded person, one should avoid dealings with such person as far as possible.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. If you muster the art of saying ‘No’ when you mean it, you will be definitely a successful person.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I am told by many persons many a times that I should forgive my enemies. In reality, it is real tough to forgive your enemies. I also know, that is good for me, even I tried many a times but, I failed to do so because it really need very strong will power to do. But I am trying.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. A few days back, a thought struck me. Do my enemies actually harm me or not? Or has it done by somebody else? Yes, I feel sometimes, friends and relatives are more harmful than my enemies because, sometimes they are more demanding than necessary. Sometimes, meeting them it made you exhausted, but still they may not be satisfied. This affects your health-both mentally and physically. But these are necessary evils in our life. This problem is not only for me; even I may be a problem for others. That is the beauty of keeping friends; occasionally to disturb them

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Who are our enemies? We see some of them (human and animals) and some we cannot see through our naked eyes (virus, bacteria, worms inside our bodies etc). But our bigger enemies are living inside you; in your mind. They are like worms in your stomach, they live on your blood; they suck your blood day and night, but you cannot get rid of them permanently. When you take de-worming medicine, they will lie low for few months and again they will raise your heads and start sucking your blood gleefully. But seldom have we counted these enemies, rather conveniently we forget those.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. What are those enemies? Our desire to have those things for which, we may not deserve and lusts for someone who are not supposed to be ours. These are bigger enemies than those seen by others or at least detected by medical tests. Desire for better life is not wrong-but desire to have someone else’s property or someone else spouse is dangerous and sometimes may be fatal. Lust leads to sins and sins lead to death.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Finally, since I cannot control those enemies residing in my mind totally, I do not have any moral right to hate my enemies, particularly those human enemies, who did actually very little harm to me. This is my latest (no, not the last one) realization towards the enemies.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. A kiss carries different meaning for different persons, different relations, different situations, different objectives and different geographic connotations.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. When a mother kisses her child, it means love & affection, best wishes, blessings, securities-both physical and emotional at different stages of life and for different occasion.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. When a grandmother kisses a grandchild, it means love without boundless, blessings and love for her own child who has given this most beautiful gift. Grandmother never expects anything except few words of love from her grandchild.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. When a father kisses his child, it means his love, assurance for physical and financial insurance and protections from outside world. Sometimes a father may not be able to protect his child from a powerful adversary, even then he kisses his child which is nothing but an expression of grief and apology for his own incompetence or incapacity.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. When a teacher kisses a student, it means blessing for his prodigy coated with love and affection. He wants that he should be known for his student, while kissing him or her.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. When a child kisses his/her father, it is a cheer joy without any explanation. When a very young kid kisses his/her parents, his/her saliva makes the cheeks of parents wet, but that makes the young couple forget all the pains/struggles/ unhappy incidents they have to face during the day. They do not wipe the saliva on their cheeks, but allow them to dry through evaporation only.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. For a kiss from a grandson/granddaughter one has to wait for more than fifty years or so. Some are lucky to earn that kiss and some are not. But when they get it, they get the flavour of seventh heaven.

100. Normally, only parents have the liberty to kiss their children on any part of the body till a certain age No other person has that liberty, socially, legally or emotionally. All other may have the permission to kiss only on head, forehead and cheeks.

101. A kiss between spouses, lovers means love, affection, faithfulness, submission, promise and so on. Where to kiss and when to kiss is coming out of consensus of two matured persons. Well, kissing at public places by two adults is not a welcome gesture in many conservative societies/countries. However, in most of the modern societies/ countries, kissing by two adults in public places is no more a taboo. It is an expression of intimate love, no one wants to miss.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. What are the common things about a kiss, irrespective of age, relation, geographical/ social differences? Kiss is a sensual and sensitive personal expression of intimate love. Therefore, whenever you kiss a person, you should be sure that you love him/her and decide where to kiss, if you kiss someone on head/forehead you love the person as son/daughter/grandchild/sister/brother/student/well-wisher. Alternatively, you should kiss on head and forehead whom you treat as son/daughter/sister/brother/student/well-wisher. Similarly, if, you get a kiss from a person on your head/forehead then the person will be a father(like)/mother(like)/grandparents/sister/brother/teacher/student/well-wisher and please try to respect love and feeling of that person. If you get a kiss on your cheek, he/she may be a close friend/ well-wisher / grandparents and of course your parents.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. What is the effect of a kiss on a person? It gives you love, emotional support, happiness, zeal to live longer(for a old person) and so on. So, do not be a miser to place a kiss on right person, right part of the body and right place, of course, whom you love. Never kiss a person whom you do not love. Similarly, do not expect a kiss from a person who is not a close person to your heart!!

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Do you know about a species which was never in existence, but still people, all over the world, have been searching ? An extremely good son and son in law in the same man.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Have you ever heard a mother –in-law and her daughter-in law agreed to a suggestion made by husband of the mother in law on investment?

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Have you ever heard about a sister–in-law who speaks high on her own sister in law in private?

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Father is the most understated hero.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. When my wife was seriously ill in 1995, I realized only husband has to look after his wife when she is in distress if he wants her to recover. Nobody can be closer than a husband for his wife. Her confidence level goes up when she sees her husband sitting behind her bedside all-along!

Finally, I learnt to remember: do not try to find a reason to laugh or smile or to help others, but always find out a way to avoid being unhappy, angry and revengeful.

 

The author was a Government servant and a man of vivid experiences derived from his official postings across the country, travels across India and numerous visits outside India. He was presently placed at New Delhi.

 

His earlier publications are:

1. Random Thoughts through a Coloured Prism

2. Dilemma of a Young Mind

3. Funny Statistics and Serious Statisticians

4. Melody of Fragrance

5. Akhadya

6. Few Cities through the Lens of Hiranya Borah

7. Guilt: Gift of Winter Spring

8. Beautiful Ghost
9. Great Fighters: Grace of God

10. All Blurred

11. Putting kids to sleep

12.How to become unpopular

13. Soulmates

14. My grumpy Face

15. Love and Worries

16. Discussion of own Birth: A Taboo

17. Interview

18. Indecent Love Affairs

19. My Fair Lady

20.Waiting time

21. Two Stories

22. My Mother: Dashami Borah

23. Parineeta

24. Manorama

25. Unwanted

26. First Attempt

27. A father

28. The Portrait

29. Snapped Thread

30. Only He Knows

31. The Stupid Mother

32. The Same Old Story

33. The Old Scoundrel

34. Third Attempt

35. Some of my First Days and First Nights

36. Snubbed Twice

37. Have You Met the God

38. Frequent Flier

39. Messiah

40. Forgive and Forget

41. To Win or to lose

42. Call Girl

43. Beyond Blood Relation

44. Lady with a Black Car

45. My wife

46.Complete Woman

47. Diwali Gift

48. Romance with a Lady

49. Open Hear Surgery

50. My First Love

51. Replacement

 

Connect with him

Email: [email protected]

Friend him on Facebook: [email protected]

 


Pebbles on My Way Home

The points given in this book are my experiences while aging to the age of 55. Some points are written in a negative way to spice up my experiences of life. Originally, I thought, I shall give the name of the book as ‘Quotable Quotes of Borah-baba’ as some of friends use this name for my leg-pulling. After going through the manuscript, I find that, these are nothing but my experiences while I have gone through different phases of my life. You may like some of them, trash some of them and in the extreme case, you may trash all of them.

  • ISBN: 9781370664603
  • Author: Hiranya Borah
  • Published: 2016-11-23 13:35:10
  • Words: 9863
Pebbles on My Way Home Pebbles on My Way Home