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Michael Courtney Woodard's Big Book of Fiction & Spirituality

Michael Courtney Woodard’s Big Book of Fiction & Spirituality


Michael Woodard

Copyright 2017 by Michael Woodard

Shakespir Edition






















Dove & Crow Saga

Complete Edition


Michael Woodard







Dove & Crow Saga


Michael Woodard



©2017 Michael Woodard



All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.


Author’s Note:

Some material may be too objectionable for children &

is written for a more mature audience.






Spiritual & Religious Material:


1 .) Being Happy Go Lucky With Jesus And Ourselves p 3

2 .) Dreams May Come To You p 10

3 .) Bringing the Mind to Peace and Removing it of Sin p 15

Complete Fiction:


4 .) There Was Something Out There In The Darkness p 25

5 .) Shattered Psyches p 26

6 .) Random Insanity p 91

7 .) Nothing Surprises p 113


Complete Wickedness:

8 .) Night’s Soul p 115

9 .) Rants p 138



Part B:

Dove & Crow Saga

after page 201






Being Happy-Go-Lucky with Jesus & Ourselves.

By Michael Owen Reeve


Jesus isn’t a brooding, grim, unhappy guy. He’s a happy, cheerful guy laying some good vibes on people. I’d go so far as to say he was the first “flower child”. Not in the sense that he was disreputable. But he walked around wearing sandals, long hair, long beard, doing the odd job as whatever he could do to earn money, but his job didn’t consume his life. He carpentered because he enjoyed doing it. Not because he NEEDED a paycheck.


He tried to get people to look on the bright side; to cast off their doubt & suspicion that life could improve under the shadow of the Roman Empire. He was a nice guy who did good deeds so other people would follow his example of spreading goodwill. But unfortunately the people saw fit to rise him up on a pedestal. “I’m not Jesus, I can only look towards his spirit for strength.” This not what he truly wanted people to think. He wanted them to think they had strength, that they had power. The strength of an individual acting with integrity that isn’t afraid of being ostracized by the crowd. Jesus was one such individual & he hoped that the people who followed him would share these qualities. Sure, they wouldn’t be the Son of God like he was, but they don’t have to be.


He didn’t want to be a King of Kings. He was a leader, but only in a time when people needed a push towards something to inspire them to band together & create something much better than what had come before. Moses & the other prophets could have been said to have been men who possessed a mania of compassion for the underclass who could not be content with being part of the crowd.


They had to speak against their oppressors and because they spoke up, the people followed them. Not because the prophets wished to lead but because the people were so content with their being followers that they lacked in the ability to be anything else. Everyone felt this compulsion, but not everyone was outfitted with the means of speaking in a way that would please the listener’s ear. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what tone of voice to use.”


Forgive my meager indulgences in egotism should they appear. I know they said this because they say it now. The people I see in this world are lost. They need to rekindle the passion they have for knowledge, for wisdom. To learn how to speak to each other unfettered & without restraint or worry for being judged negatively.


The people… we… as a people need to embrace our own true potentials. It matters not what religion you were taught as a youngster. No religion is wrong; just very few religions know how to be right. You must build a true foundation of communication with each other. Don’t worry about always being polite: be genuine. Say what you mean. It matters not the tone of one’s voice. Those who speak sternly at times speak this way out of passion. Everyone feels they are right, but not everyone is righteous. The Muslim, the Hindu, the Catholic, the Jew, the everything-in-between & beyond shouldn’t be content with disagreements & scorn for each other. We all can’t be of the same mind about things, but just because we disagree we don’t have to over-indulge in anger. Words spoken in true hatred are words best not spoken.


Pay no heed to tone, to seeming aggression of a person’s actions. When we empower these behaviors by reacting to them with fear & subservience we are lessening our strengths as individuals. Do not shackle your self in invisible chains made from fear of lack-of-conformity. “To thine own self be true” as Hamlet so wisely spoke.

So how to we empower the individuals? By bonding with our loved ones. Don’t struggle for the most appropriate and friendly thing to say. If you feel sad, say you feel sad. Families should hold bountiful love for each other. They should not fuel our own lack of self-worth. We don’t always feel like smiling. Smiling when we don’t really have anything to smile about forces a person into a fierce desire to please, to be the “happy” one. Do not be a dutiful servant to your family members, do it out of love. And how to do you acquire this love? By genuinely feeling it & genuinely expressing every emotion you feel to those you love.


Respect should be freely given. Love should be freely given. If you’re in a public place (such as a checkout lane), do not just stare at other people & wish you could talk to them. Open your mouth, say “hi” or “hello” and then begin to speak of the most cheerful thing you can think of discussing. You really like a TV show or something else others might share in and you never seem to find anyone who likes it? Don’t talk small. Talk big. If that other person isn’t receptive, chances are someone else around would be.


“Did you see Monk last night?” Pause. “That guy’s really brave I think. Despite the fact that he has such fears he’s willing to do the best he can do at whatever he sets his mind to.” You don’t have to worry about the proper wording of what you say. Life isn’t about reading from a script. (Unless you’re an actor.)


Oh, if you want to be an actor, maybe you should try doing voice acting for animation. It’s quite simple. Just read from a script, put a wealth of emotion into your voice, and speak into a microphone.


Many Voice-actors are average people who dress averagely. Watch more cartoons. :D They aren’t just for children: they are valuable tools for maintaining a cheerful disposition. Mark Hamill & Tom Kenny among many others are fine examples of voice-actors. Anyone can do it. Not everyone has to look beautiful, but I feel when people speak confidently with their voices they all sound beautiful.


To perform you need not focus upon technique or gaining acceptance from the crowd. Don’t bother sweating what everyone else is doing, thinking, wearing, eating, or whatever. If speaking to that person does not cause you to feel happy, do not speak to them. Having no speaking connection, the person should not be acknowledged.


Too often we are spies of each other. We look about with suspicion. We are all lost in the world. We spend our time looking at people, looking, looking, looking, looking, and looking. We don’t like being quiet & polite all the time. We repress & control ourselves so that we depersonalize when in public. The people we don’t know become threats to our safety.


But how would you get to know someone if you don’t speak to them? Don’t worry if others deem your small amounts of bravery with scorn or discontent. It is out of jealousy. You are something. Jesus wished you to be humble, meek, merciful, peacemakers.


Stigmas are created out of fear. Out of an obsessive oppressive desire to be controlled. Never stigmatize. Never call another person “crazy” or “stupid” or any other hurtful words. Life isn’t a competition. You need not be better than another person at any given task. Just be. Oh, and “Cleanliness is next to godliness” has nothing to do with bathing or washing of the clothes. It means cleanliness of the SPIRIT, of the soul, of the mind. Do not over-burden yourself with anger towards another human being. Don’t struggle to be perfect. Live in spiritual comfort. You don’t have to dress to the nines. Wear comfortable clothing. Clothes mustn’t have to look nice. If you have a winning, grandiose, friendly disposition and are willing to happily & inexhaustively speak to another person, then you’ll do well in this world. Once we have obtained cleansing of our souls, hearts, and minds we can achieve our place in Heaven besides God. (Any sinner can take a bath to temporarily wash the filth of the body from himself but it is very hard to maintain our humble goodliness.)


Don’t repress, don’t hold your emotions chained in heart and your mind forever revolving around how much more full of money your wallet is than another person’s. Live frugally, utilitarianly. There are never too many words. Only too little. There are lechers in this world because men & women fear each other. If you are a woman and you see a man you like or you are a man and see a woman you like --- or you are a man who sees a man you like or a woman who sees a woman you like --- speak to that person warmly & ingratiatingly. Don’t be afraid to be thoroughly bubbly with your goodwill. “OH! I don’t feel it’s appropriate to do this or this!”


Have a hobby? Like books? Go to a book store. Buy something. If you have a favorite author, obviously you must have a strong opinion about that person for you to love them so much. Strike up a spontaneous & absurd conversation about something. You’d be amazed. No matter how completely embarrassed & silly you feel for having spoken in earnest about something you genuinely care about in public, the other person might react positively. I did the same not to long ago at a book store myself. I once hypothesized in the middle of a Borders Express store that: “Peter Parker always needed to believe in himself, he needed to believe that he didn’t have to hide his full potential as a person. He was Spiderman but didn’t let anyone else around him know it. I’m a writer but I don’t talk about it well. If Peter hadn’t worn his mask, people would not have feared him. You have to believe in yourself, you know?”


The young lady cashier muttered “I like Batman” & started giggling at herself for not being able to speak intelligibly. I retreated out of surprise. I couldn’t have possibly been that charming. I was nervous of from my lack of belief in myself so I left. As I left, she went to the backroom. When I returned, she wouldn’t leave the backroom. You see? We both felt crestfallen even as we’d achieved a connection. Was the interaction a disaster? Not at all. It was life.


I find it amazing how often I encounter people who are deathly afraid of a karaoke machine. Just stand on the stage, hold the microphone to your lips, & sing the words that appear on the screen. You don’t even have to be good to do it. You might be surprised how many people will come to search you out to shake your hand & tell you how much they admire you. For what? Being able to read & talk at the same time.


Talking is like singing. Don’t let anyone tell you “they are two completely different things.”





Dreams May Come To You.

by Michael Owen Reeve


I remember a TV show when I was a kid that had the theme song “when you wish on a star, carry moon beams in a jar” or some other doggerel. It was nice although I don’t think it had much to do with the premise of the show. Whatever that was…


Dreaming is something many of us can achieve. It is discouraged to dream while one is awake. America is a place of a Dream many people in other countries have heard of. Hamlet himself uttered the words “what dreams may come” referring to an afterlife beyond that of a “mortal coil.”


I know somewhat about dreaming. Perhaps writing & the imagination behind it is akin to dreaming? Dreaming is a manifestation of all that is impossible in this world. It is better than this world, it is the stuff of imagination when imagination is at its purest. We all dream, we speak of an American Dream but that dream never reaches fruition in this world, doesn’t it? Sleeping is an activity of the immobile. We all lay in a bed at one time in our lives but lying in bed too long is considered too much pampering of ourselves, we count the ours we sleep & tabulate them. We compare hours slept with others to find who got the better score. We are all tired of ours lives and sleep is a respite from it we relish. We wonder often enough about what it would like to actually be a hotdog.


Speaking of hot dogs, I am now thinking about barbecuing: it is in the hell fires we often find ourselves in this world. Every time we seethe with rage, every time we burn with desire, we spend our own time in hell. Hell on earth is an absolute certainty. To reach true peace within ourselves & to find happiness, to soar as angels we have to cast off the shackles & chains that Satan himself has put upon us and learn to find comfort in our pain that is life. A life of constant upheaval, a life made in which we forgive ourselves and others their mistakes & their small imperfections is a world in which we were meant to live in.


I know I preach at times; at times I can be a downright heathen. Being among God is equal part piety and grace with an equal part of sacrilege and vulgarity. Many of us can be the lamb, some of the shepherds, and still more the wolves. Wolves are among us, they trim the herd. We live in a world of nature, we are all animals. We are animals of good fortune for having lived in this world but we are animals of bad fortune for the same reason. We cannot truly find peace in this life until we have gone the extra mile to walk away from our own poor piety, being impoverished in the soul is more damning than being without money.


As the original people were born innocent of this world & naked, they damned themselves with impropriety once they decided to wear clothes for the sake of pride rather than to protect one’s nakedness from the elements. We are of a rainbow in colors in our skin pigments because of the severity of the sun shine above our heads. In all likelihood the closer we are to the equator, the darker the people became. It is with this assessment that perhaps those of us in the much milder climates have suffered the wrath of nature. Why should we give such wrath upon others with the form of our own God-given bodies??? It doesn’t make any damn sense to hate upon something HE provided us!




There is a term I have learned from a Catholic friend of mine: Collective Consciousness. He specifically referred to a church group he was part of: each member of the group provided a part of a cohesive unit. Each member who faithfully follows the protocols and doctrines of the group is to be part of a chain. I myself have never really considered myself as being truly part of anything and therefore might upon cursory observation be designated the “weaker link” of any chain or CC I enter upon.


Now that I am thinking of a Collective Consciousness, I will expand upon my observations of such:


We tend to memorize texts … hell; we MEMORIZE nearly everything we can get our hands on because it gives the illusion of knowledge stored. The smarter you want to be perceived, the more things you have committed to memory.


People expect you to remember verbal instructions the first time you hear them, even complicated ones. A dull memory is seen as a dull wit.


You seem to have a very obstinate way of seeing things. You tend to improve when you can which is most of the time. You don’t care what other people think about you and you can extrapolate their thoughts not from reading their minds BUT from how they behave.


You can see beneath the surface behavior. People don’t like being read as being outside of the norm.


Let’s face it! Jesus was persecuted because he was an unusual person. Miracles or not, he stuck out like a sore thumb. He challenged the aristocracy and undermined the religious practices of his time. He was a radical who was punished.


There have been lots of individuals in this world who have been treated unfairly because they were different somehow. Sometimes just having an unusual hair color is cause for scorn.


Uniforms enforce the collective’s control over the individual. If each member wears the same thing, the group remains in control. Other armies wear different uniforms. Going with this assessment, is it any wonder why the Greek Olympics were carried out in the nude? Everyone “wore” the same thing so the competitions were clearly based upon skill & conditioning rather than in the cohesiveness of sub-groupings… not that I’m advising this sensibility to carried out in modern sportsmanship…. (Thinks about it.) Ewww…..


So where does it fall that like-minded individuals should be so like-minded in their thoughts of EVERYTHING??? And why did I just call such people “individuals” when it would be just to infer they have a “cattle-mentality”? Why do they all graze upon the grass of ignorance? Why do they all moo the same way? Why walk so serenely into the slaughter houses? Why not zig-and-zag? Why not??? Why are they so obedient??? Why are they so programmed???


It takes the strength of an individual who “marches to the beat of his own drum” who has continually “suffered the slings & arrows of outrageous fortune” to set a positive example. Maybe not one of leadership perse, but one of self respect. Make a stand in a small way against the conformists. Brush your teeth a different way, don’t be afraid to wear your hair a little longer. Don’t be afraid to BE YOU!!! Don’t be one of them. Don’t just be a face in the crowd, but be a mind of your own among the like-minds. Just because a million others are 1s in perfect conformism doesn’t mean you should be a 0 in life. Remember: “from zero to hero.”


I’d like to reinterpret an old Beck song “I’m a loser baby…. aren’t you freaking jealous!?!?!?” Life is about being an orange in the apple basket sometimes, folks.





Bringing the Mind to Peace

and Removing it of Sin.


Mara The Sorrowful


Genesis 19:6


6 But his wife looked back from behind him,

and she became a pillar of salt.




So was the fate of Lot’s wife as she witnessed the destruction of Sodom & Gomorrah. The place had been a place of sin and so great was the sin that God had it destroyed. All she did is witness its destruction, she is punished for it.


The mind, body, and soul of deeply religious person in today’s society is equal to that of a pillar of stone. Their hearts and minds are hardened to armor them against the love that is God’s Love for them. Against the love of their fellow man.


The teaching of Jesus upon the Sermon on the Mount were many wise and well considered words. They will be a cornerstone of this book. But I do not wish to preach to champion the Christian Faith. Rather, I use these words to comfort the soul of all men & women upon the earth. You may find solace in them if you are or are not a believer in him.



I will begin with a most important concept.

Matthew 5-7 (King James Version)



25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.



Jesus isn’t saying you should be a nudist. He’s saying DO NOT judge people by their clothes (aka “raiment”) if you think wearing your Sunday Best or an expensive piece of clothing gives you a higher place in Heaven than a bum wearing rags, you’re dead wrong, buster.


To whom is Jesus speaking? Who does Jesus truly believe will follow him into Heaven & get their just rewards? You and me, my friend. God doesn’t judge you harshly for being gay or lesbian or bi or transgender or even heterosexual. He doesn’t care how you express your sexuality or gender. He made you different because he loves you and wishes to give you strength to stand up against your oppressors and say “NO!”


Be happy with who you are. I’m not here to pressure you to join any group you don’t entirely want to join. I wrote this document to give you hope for your future. Shine that light of yours that God has given you. If you’re LGBT, wave that Pride Flag high! If you are not, then speak no more sinful assertions against your fellow man or woman who are.



Now let’s back up a bit.



[+ www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=MATT+5-7&version=NIV+]


“Matthew 5-7

King James Version (KJV)

5 And seeing the multitudes, he (Jesus) went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.”


And is when Jesus spoke the words “falsely, for my sake” he predicted that a series of new religions would spring up which claimed to be inspired by him and his sacrifice but ultimately were just a continuation of the practices of the Temple he sought to overthrow.


“12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your [+ reward+] in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” And great the reward shall be…”




Let’s [+ step+] outside of preaching mode for a moment so I may explain. I am referencing Jesus, but I am not speaking only to Christians. Jesus is speaking to those who have been outcast or teased or bullied. Whether or not you admit it, if you have been set aside because you are different, you have been persecuted.




If you have been told you’re too tall, if you’re too short, or too this or too that. If you’re not good at sports, if you stutter, if you have [+ ADHD+], whatever… and people are using your difference from the norm against you, Jesus is looking right at you and giving you a promise towards salvation.




Jesus isn’t going to save the bullies. The bully can go to church every sunday and swear on a stack of Bibles all he wants, and Jesus isn’t fooled by this deceit. Bullies threw stones at Jesus, the whipped him, and they murdered him. He will have not that person in Heaven beside you.



“14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.“


A little opaque in the delivery, but Jesus is saying do not hide or feel shame for your gifts and God-given talents. If you can sing, sing. If you can draw, draw. If you can write, write. Do all the creative things you wish. Do not let the bullies and naysayers tell you to stop being you. Those who do so are jealous of you and your gifts, they wish to poison your mind against you so that they may feel satisfaction.


“20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.“


He’s saying that those who have been bullied & scorned are far better than those who do the bullying & scorning.




40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.“


Now I know the word “sue” gets a different meaning now than Jesus had meant. The word should be “request.” He means in these passages that you freely give of yourself to others, especially those who are poor or harmless who ask for help. That you should go beyond that, even, give the person roughly twice the help they request.


Now I’m not saying give someone twenty dollars just because they want ten. If you cannot realistically afford to give [+ money+], give them kindness. Be that person’s friend in the very least. By adding value and self-worth into their lives adds value and self-worth into your own.




“44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;“


Need I explain? (smiles) Do not seek vengeance, but try and ask for God to forgive them.



“6 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no [+ reward+] of your Father which is in heaven.

2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their [+ reward+].

3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall [+ reward+] thee openly.“




Fascinating. Jesus actually predicted mega-charities springing up! Don’t let them fool you, most of the [+ money+] you give to these places to “feed the poor starving African children” doesn’t go entirely towards feeding them. A large portion of it pays for the salaries of paid actors & high production values… goes into the pockets of people who become wealthy thru this subterfuge.




Jesus doesn’t pass the collection plate. If you worship somewhere that expects you to DEFY Jesus’s above proclamation against public charity, then do not go there. Don’t let them convince you they are serving his will, don’t believe the lies! This is the first of the crimes organized religion has made against him and the most telling example of their falsehood.


“5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their [+ reward+].

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall [+ reward+] thee openly.“


Okay, not literally in your closet. But in Jesus’s time there were only synagogues. But if Jesus were alive today, he’d tell you not to go into a Church either. Any building that says it is “God’s House” and exists only to profit off of people seeking enlightenment is a place of sin.


He is saying your prayer should be a private thing between you and God, that God will see you pray and will hear your words no matter how secretly you do it. In fact, you don’t even have to pray at all. He’ll read your mind, he will know what bothers you and will do his best to give you happiness but he cannot give everyone instant gratification for there are so many other people in need.


“7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.“


Jesus is specifically saying do not form your prayer as a routine thing you say. Don’t say Grace, don’t say The Lord’s Prayer before you go to bed. God will hear your words and ignore you. And back to the mind-reading I said earlier. Sweet.


9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.“


This passage is invalid because it contradicts his edict against “vain repetitions.”



What have we learned? We have learned not to value Organized Religion’s doctrines above our own self-worth. We have learned not to make a show of charity or prayer. We have also learned to not structure our prayer in the form of a prideful speech. We have discredited the tools that the bullies use to oppress us.


This is the end of the first part of my narrative. Be well. See you in Part Two.





THERE WAS SOMETHING OUT THERE IN THE DARKNESS. Something hungry. KeeLow didn’t believe HomeBrew. He said HomeBrew was illin’. Now KeeLow was dead. HomeBrew lay in a corner of the pickup’s bed parked in the alley. He did his best to remain motionless with KeeLow’s sagging dead weight on top of him like a blanket. He hoped whatever was out there would think he was dead, too.


HomeBrew’s real name was Bernard. He’d gotten his name because he drank only homemade coffee from a thermos he’d had since he was a child. He ate mostly chocolate ice cream & chocolate yogurt. HomeBrew was at the best of times a twitchy, nervous man. But this wasn’t the best of times. He was… well, how did he wind up here? He had no idea who the heck’s truck this was. Wasn’t even quite sure what color it was because it so dark. All he knew for sure was the was scared. And he had to move his bowels.


- Written as a cliff-hanger circa 2009.



Bernard’s Day Before.


[_Goddamn, this one's gonna wreck me, _]Bernard was thinking. He got up out of the couch slopilly, nearly falling down. He had to be careful. KeeLow tossed the second controller at the back Bernard's head which it bounced off of.   “Wiggle your black ass back here! I'm not letting you take a dive! I let your cheap ass play Johnny Cage all these frickin' years! Cheap ass bitch!” KeeLow yelled.   “Just snort some cocaine or something, dude,” said Bernard, wiggling a little bit faster.   “You must be kidding a brother!” screamed Kee-Low as he got off the couch as well.   From the kitchen stormed a large woman in an apron. “Kevin Lovenski! I told you not to get excited when your friends come over to play that stupid crap!”  Something in Bernard's stomach exploded. “Oh no!”  “Goddamit, Bernard! I told you if you do that often enough I'd put your black ass in diapers!!!”  She ran into the kitchen and came out with trash bag. “Lord have mercy,” she prayed to herself, “two grown men without jobs playing that Blasphemy!' She put the trash bag on the couch for Bernard to sit on.   “Oh come on, mom. It's Sega Genesis...” Kee-Low complained.    - Yet another cliff-hanger, but this written circa 2016.







by Michael Owen




[_[*The intermingling grasses
of the veldt dance in the warm breeze as if enthralled in
celebration, back lit by the waning light of an afternoon sun.
Today is special. After a long draught, the thirst is finally
quenched with the blood of a dove.*]_]





In an abbey in the far
east of the charted world, before all maps had been drawn, there
lived a small contingent of monks. These were old men who had no
other place to live. They were not the sort of men who would be
welcome and easily wore out their welcome not very long after they
had first arrived in a new place. Now, if you will listen, I
believe you can hear these unwelcome monks returning



“Scourges upon scourges.”
The other four continue walking, then look back to see that the
fifth of their company had slipped in the mud and fallen to his
back. He was a very tall and heavy man dressed in what had been a
gaudy costume of expensive clothing. He carried no weapon upon his
person, but possessed such strength that had he wanted to, he could
kill a man (or even a bear) with his barehands alone.


His four comrades stared
at him and shuffled their feet, waiting to see if he’d ask for
assistance. It wasn’t wise to offer unsolicited help to this
fellow. He was a proud, insufferable man. “Tinli, would you mind?”
he asked, holding his hand up.


Tinli, the smallest of the
four cautiously walked back to where the large man lay upon the
floor. He said not a word.


“Would you mind holding
the bottle?” asked the large man. Tinli took the bottle and stepped
back a pace. The large man stood and brushed himself off. He
checked himself quickly for bruises and satisfied that he had taken
a little tumble without sustaining much harm to his person,
snatched the bottle back. There was only the slightest bit of
liquid left in it, but he had carried it for a thousand miles.
Perhaps the first dozen of those miles it had been full.


Tinli lowered his eyes to
his feet as if he’d been caught stealing the bottle. The large man
snatched at his wrist, turned the palm upward, and dropped a coin
into it, then closed the hand. Tinli put the tip into his pocket
and made sure to wait until the large man was no longer looking
before rubbing his wrist.


“Well, I do hope that the
gods weep. Now look at me, Tirskon Varg, once a good monk and then
a merchant, and now an itinerant beggar. Look where I have been
placed. Look at the misfortune that is upon me.”


“Varg, if I knew who could
be blamed for your being with us, I would promise that person would
die a horrible and excruciatingly painful death. At mine own
hands,” commented a slight figure wearing a black robe. This one
was covered in a curly, matted hair and had a medium-length


“Now, it is doubly amusing
to hear a rich man speak of the gods and to have a sister speak of
murder,” commented an elderly man wearing a white cloak. He smiled
for a few minutes, but then decided it prudent to stop smiling
since no one else seemed to find his joke amusing. “Forgive me
Varg. I hadn’t meant to contradict your claims of poverty.” A hiss
came from the black-robed thing. “Forgive me also for the
transgression. Did not mean to imply you weren’t a


“Ulowlin, this is probably
one of the few moments in all the time that we have been acquainted
with each other that I feel I would regret killing you,” Varg
growled. “Any man who the witch despises must be useful.” The witch
in question ignores this last comment.


“A wonderful time for
firsts,” agreed Ulowlin. He wiped sweat from his forehead. Varg
nodded gravely at him.


“To what shall I bless
with my final swallow?” asked Varg, holding the bottle up by the
neck. “Well, besides the chance of finding another


“That would be a wish,”
commented the black robed thing.


“It would be so easy to
forget that you were a woman, Manke. It wouldn’t take much effort
in fact.”


“Insulting me is the
simple part, Tirsk. Backing up those words, however. Well, you
might find yourself in for quite a lot more effort than you usually
would put into anything else. Do not bless me with your poison. Do
not curse me without either.”


Ulowlin stood between
them, raised his hands, and then thought better of touching either
person. So he lowered them back down to his sides. “Have any of us
put any thought into the meaning of our strange predicament? What
is it that the amulets we wear signify? Or why it is we carry such
odd objects?”


“It is the burden of
Habakkuk,” put in the last member of the party to speak. His was
the heaviest pack among the group and he also wore a harness on his
shoulders and dragged a cart full of wares as well. Tinli took up
the rear and endeavored to push on the rear of the cart but not to
help for he was too hard small to lend much assistance. Yet he felt
safer having something between himself and the others.


“Do shut up, Yosef,”
interrupted Tirsk. “You are hardly Habook-material.” He drank the
last few drops from his bottle and then tossed it negligently
behind his back. The others ducked their heads to prevent being hit
by and it and it flew completely over Tinli’s head and shattered at
his heels. He didn’t complain, though.


Ulowlin took his hat from
his head and worried it between his hands for a moment. Many times
he regretted being the peace-keeper in the group. “I don’t feel he
means himself. I think he had meant the amulets we wear are said


Manke scoffed. “We don’t
even know who this fellow is. Surely if we did, we could return the
burden of them to him. I for one am tired of speaking in tongues.
People don’t like being accused of showing off their ‘iniquity’ and
‘perverseness.’ Not very good way to start a pleasant conversation
among people you hadn’t met before.”


“Aye. And nearly everyone
is put off by us saying ‘destruction and violence and strife and
contention are riseth up before me.’” Tinli piped up. Then he
scratched his chin for a moment. “Aren’t those all the related to
the same thing? The strife & contention are basically ways of
describing a fight and the other two are the usual results of such


“You’re quite right,
Tinli,” Ulowlin raised his head to smile, but lowered it again when
Tirsk growled at him. “Sadly we’ve been accused of starting those
arguments. ‘Hey, you’re lying! Nobody was fighting anyone until you
showed up. So the strife starts AFTER you arrive and not


Manke laughed. Tirsk
growled at her, too. “Sorry, this beard keeps tickling my nose.”
Tirsk grunted his disbelief. Well, lucky for us, sometimes they’ll
look outside their gates to the next town over and decide to blame
them instead of us.”


“Oh, how long shall I cry,
and thou wilt not hear? I cry out unto thee of violence, and thou
wilt not save,” put in Yosef. Manke glanced at him. “Metaphorically
speaking.” Manke raised her eyebrow. “I wasn’t saying you were
crying, dear.”


“Don’t wonder marvelously
if I will not believe everything you told me.” Manke smiled


“I’m not sure if we are or
are not justice.” Tinli bumped his knee on the cart, leaned down to
rub it with his hands, and then bumped his head on the cart as he
leaned. He cursed.


Ulowlin: “What do you


“Perhaps ‘the law is
slacked,’ yet we couldn’t be because ‘justice doth never go forth.’
That can’t be true of us because we’re always traveling. Yet if we
are righteous, then wickedness surely does compass all about us.
But then again, if we are justice, I don’t like the idea of us
going forth ‘perverted’ because that seems to mean we’re tainted by
the evil around us and our goodness is diluted.”


“Right you are. And,
really what nation isn’t ‘bitter and hasty’? Each and everyone is
just raring to ‘march through’ and… devour the bread of the
world? I’m not sure about that part, but certainly they wish to ‘to
possess dwelling-places that are not theirs.’”


Manke scoffed again. “All
you men are alike. You all set your faces forward, are ‘terrible
and dreadful.’ Even though you kid yourselves into believing your
‘dignity proceeds from being ‘more fierce than the evening wolves,’
you forget that you once were toothless babes who wouldn’t survive
without the love of your mothers to defend you from the brutality
of the world.


“Sure you men find your
pride in your swords which you won’t let the women carry; if she
isn’t allowed to carry a sword, then he would never have to suffer
the blow to his dignity of finding out that she might actually be
better at swordsmanship than he, should she be given the chance to
do so. Sure, speak of your swords. But without a woman’s womb or
breasts, those are useless as you yourselves are.”


“Speak for yourself. You
bloody women need us men, too,” groused Tirsk.


“Um, maybe she meant both
were needed and neither one is more important?” Tirsk and Manke
both gave angry looks at Tinli for saying this. “Perhaps


“Besides, what fool would
collect sand as he journeyed in the desert? I don’t mean to say
having it accumulate on your person, but to have actually to put
some in your sack on purpose as you travel so you’ll have more sand
than the other travelers who would come before or after you. Why
would you be collecting sand in the desert? Because likely someone
would tell you it could be made into diamonds or gold. Who’d
believe such a thing and do such a thing? A man.”


Tirsk roared. “Come off
it, woman! Now don’t you start telling us that that is how the
dunes are formed! I will not hear such foolishness!”




An old man came wandering
into a small village that resided along a river. Bent with
exhaustion, he finally lay down to rest. The people whispered in
astonishment at seeing him because he was deathly pale and stank of
death. Fearful that he be a beggar with a curse of bad luck about
him, they kept shunned him for one entire day. Finally, a young
woman came near enough to drop a bowl of water & a small loaf
of bread at his side before running back into her home. Her father
threw her from his home and she was stoned. The old man had not
stirred to drink or to eat.


By the middle of the
second day, the people believed he had died. It was then decided
that a small contingent of guards should be sent to recover the
body and drag it off into the wilderness. As the men lays hands on
his ankle to a rope attached to a horse, the old man stirred.
Yelping, the guards ran back a dozen paces and huddled together to
discuss a new plan of action. One of their number, the youngest
& lowest ranking of them, was sent to speak to the old man and
ask what he wanted.


Young: “Old man, who are
you and where have you come from to bring evil to our


Old:  “I am a son of
David & a King of Jerusalem,” the old man replied.


Young: “I have not heard
of either man or place you mention. As for yourself, you look like
no king I have heard of.”


Old: “Vanity of vanities.

All is vanity.” The old man laughed weakly. “No one remembers the
past nor will there be anyone in the future to


Young: “It is said that
‘there is no new thing under the sun.’ Men will work and prosper or
they will not work and perish. As it has always been.”


Old: “And thus what has
been is that which shall be. That which has been done is that which
shall be done among those that come after.”


Young: “Such is the way of
the world.”


Old: “It is not the
world’s way. Men must make up their own ways.”


Young: “Tell me, what you
have done besides be a beggar who brings ill news to those you
burden with your presence?”


Old:  “I am a king of
a land you have not heard. It is the old story: I have nourished
and brought up children, and they have rebelled against


Young: “I assure you we
have little use for vanity for her, but I must insist you wash
and make yourself clean. You look & smell of evil. 
Leave and keep your filth about you or stay and wash.”


Old: “What is it you do
besides wash here?”


Young: “Each man works as
needed by the community. Yet we have no work for one as old as you.
Truthfully, we are disappointed you hadn’t just died.”



Old:  “I applied my
heart to seek and to search out wisdom concerning all that is done
under heaven; I have gotten me great wisdom above all that were
before me in Jerusalem.”


Young: “Again, I know not
of this Jerusalem. I swear to my ears your words are ones of
madness. You say you applied your heart and let your body grow


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Michael Courtney Woodard's Big Book of Fiction & Spirituality

Featuring several essays and short stories including a rough cut of "The Res Kid." What you see in the book has been described as "slacker type... but fun" to read fiction. It begins with "Being Happy Go Lucky With Jesus and Ourselves" sifting through the quagmire of righteous and profane. Twenty years of experience, 8 years since the original version published, I give you my best collection of fiction and musings and even bitter rants available. Not to be confused with other "Big Books"... I have distilled my personal recovery experience and put into words several tales self published over the years. I am the original author. Buy the book and join my small community of readers as I pul back the curtain on my process. We can network, share ideas, and you can be kept up-to-date on the latest drafts and revisions.

  • Author: Michael Owen Reeve
  • Published: 2017-09-05 17:20:15
  • Words: 50525
Michael Courtney Woodard's Big Book of Fiction & Spirituality Michael Courtney Woodard's Big Book of Fiction & Spirituality