Types of love

So I’m going to have a look at the concept of love, what does love actually

mean and what is its source and what is its substance. I’ll expound what

defines factors that define it, you know not just unconditional love,

unconditional positive regard, absolute forgiveness, absolute for rehabilitative

measures rather than punitive measures, absolute care, always just wanting

the best for everyone, positivity towards, confidence in, wishing well, good-

will, strong affection, constant affection, attraction and romance, care,

tenderness, longing, belonging, community, compassion, empathy,

forgiveness, acceptance, toleration, togetherness, I think I could go on and

should go on, there’s just a lot to say about what love is, a lot of good things.

Love began in the womb

We’re conceived and some point develop senses. So basically we’re like a self,

a being, an experiencer. We take in through those senses a world, an outside

world. Our senses, our brain, together, converts that into an experience.

There’s also imagination. Some of what we sense will make sense, will

continue to make sense from moment to moment, some of it won’t make

sense. By this I mean part of our senses, the input into our brains, the

experience processed out, isn’t necessarily of reality. Some of it is imagination

through vision, sound, all the senses that we have. I mean it can’t even be

imagined by the senses, you can’t picture a square circle, or two and two

objects being five objects, or six objects, or seven objects. Conceiving and

thinking of these things is the task of a more abstract imagination, where

these things can indeed exist.

Where are we in the womb? It’s dark, there’s senses of touch, there’s warmth,

there’s some basic functions going on and when we start to develop concepts,

be they very basic, there’s a logic of the outside world fitting the concepts that

we’re using and whatever doesn’t fit will determine what starts to become

imagination and abstract imagination.

Love from the perspective of newborn life

Once out of the womb, a mother, father or other guardian’s love is still the

most common form of love from otherness that is available, although the

mind’s own love is the primary source and for many species the only source.

The natural forces of the world in the form of the lives of others and habitat

events become like weather that can knock or cooperate with the maintenance

of love in their life.

Let love happen to selves

Reality might have a lot of mix in it from good to bad. On top of nature, on top

of the structure of nature and physics which might itself have natural

consequences, I think that it’s important to also appreciate that, given the

fact that everything is just received from life anyway, everything about me

follows natural mechanisms. I’m composed completely of physical matter,

I’m a biological, physical creature. There’s a fact of non-creation of the self,

non-causation of the self at conception. The very first moment that I was,

that I came to be, that was not caused by me, life was given to me, I appeared

in the world I emerged in the world. You know, when we’re first conceived it’s

the case, the fact is, that life happens to us. That was not my doing it was

caused by some parents, some matter in the universe, some society,

everything, but not me, and all that is an important psychological fact, the

fact that the universe effects us into being, causes us to be, that’s important.

Each of us gives off an energy. Through becoming conscious of our words and

bodily actions and deeds we can express love rather than anything else. When

new life emerges in the world we can harmonise their being through love with

nature. Life happens to them but we have the potential to make love happen

to them too. We are the parents, the matter in the universe, the society, and

we can help make their place in the everything an experience of love.

The source of love

Ok, so where does love come from? I’m going to have a look at, basically, love

within the structural formation of thought and feeling, the mind. I think it’s

also worth looking at love within the structure of a social context too, but I’ll

start with the biological context of the individual within that social context,

thus mixing the individual, their own biology, brain chemistry, brain

structure, the senses and its context in the environment and habitat, socially

and environmentally.

Love is in the brain

The brain produces consciousness, there is no mind, no thought, without a

brain. So basically love, is in consciousness, it’s in the mind, whether

conscious or unconscious or subconscious, love is there, in the mind, which

the brain realises (makes real), the mind emerges from the physical structure,

the natural structure, the biological structure of the brain, so love is in there!

When considering our brain’s role in love it is worth being extremely positive

about what the potentialities can be. The brain is extremely adaptable.

Neuroplasticity is the phenomenon where the brain can form new pathways

and switch functions of the brain from one physical part of it to another. If

enough of the right kind of type of brain structure exists then the

functionality of love can move there.

Love is in the mind

Also in an important sense that’s a biological definition of its material

location, of where we locate love, as a substance, in the mind, in the brain, but

of course if I think back over all the love that there’s been, that memory of it,

in my mind today, in your mind today, in their mind today, is a natural thing

as well, and so, the knowledge of it, the meaning of love, the fact of it that we

carry with us today, also form a part of what love is in an important way in not

just a memory form but also the kind of spiritual way and although that is in

our mind that’s not the same meaning and understanding of that. There’s

been love we respect that and we cherish that and think greatly of, it is not the

same as the love that I feel right now in an everyday more daily practical

actual event of the present moment sense.

Love can be good friends with logic

Logic is a structure of reality so if we start making our own concepts for the

first time, some of those concepts will stand – as those which are in

contradiction won’t be functional for us, but those concepts that are logically

consistent with reality, that can function in reality, will be able to remain.

With regards to love, I can experience love and it can be real, it can be logically

consistent that in that moment I experience love and as I live in the

perspective of love a higher degree of truth stands through the logical

checkpoints that are on my path. The more checkpoints of logic that have real

concepts that stand up to love being real that I examine, the more that I can

say yes that was love. The truth is though that love is hidden in the mind,

affirming its presence has as little absolute guarantee as doubting it

guarantees its absence. This is because pure love itself is beyond the concept

of knowledge but we can make love and knowledge friends with some help

from luck. The thing about love is that if logic can say nothing, the experience

of love is one of the things that one will turn to for a way to live. In a world

where we get things so wrong it’s a good thing that there is so much of love

that feels good, is virtuous, is forgiving and instructive as well as helping the

body function well with its physiological benefits. Love helps with the path to


Now it may be the case that love itself is a great emotion and feeling and

experience that allows the mind to function in a better way because it fits in

with those concepts that I can explain now of introspection, of perception, of

social analysis. Love can be thought of as such a good thing that it allows the

understanding of itself, of love itself in others, in the best possible way rather

than other experiences, but it’s important to mention logic as well and reality

as well to give balance to the totality of facts and to understand that there are

such things as just imagining things and abstractly imagining things and that

includes love, so it’s important to understand that love will tick off the logical

checklist as much as possible the more of it there is. Thus one wants to direct

oneself towards a holistic loving state. That’s important because if love is

important then one really wants there to be as much of it not just for oneself

but in one’s work in the world, in one’s actions and relations and in enjoying

relations of happiness and fun with others as much as possible. Logic will be

consistent with that if the concept, if the thing of love itself is real, in those

cases. I think that’s good.

Love in imagination

I could imagine love and I can have abstract imagination with regards to love

as well. I can think of love between fictional characters or real characters that

is impossible. Yet I could also experience that love, love in reality that

couldn’t exist, love that couldn’t exist in reality, love that I can’t even

imagine, not for lack of trying but because it’s impossible to create an

imaginary sense perception of it. I can imagine that between fictional

characters or real characters that is possible, with the mechanisms of nature

so to speak. It might not actually be a real thing as yet or at all.

When it comes to things like abstract imagination and imagination, we

understand that sometimes love can fall into that category too and sometimes

it’s logical, it’s actual, it’s real – the best times.

Love amongst the mix of ideas and the non-ideal

It’s also important to understand that there can be love and things might not

look, appear or seem, as if there is love and this is difficult because as a

consequence sometimes one might lose one’s way. Sometimes you might not

be clever enough, smart enough, able enough and yet one might still really

have a lot of love but just not quite know how to show or express it. The

structures of love and of knowledge, logic and fitting into reality socially and

individually are ideals that instantiate as realities, become and are realities, in

a lot of particular instances, moments, situations, among creatures and

normal individuals, however, not everything in life as everyone is well aware

is the ideal as yet. How those parts of love, moments of love that exist among

the confusion and non-ideal, how those can progress and move by their own

natures, how love can make a movement for itself in those situations needs to

be explored.

Some of these instances where things other than love and happiness and

well-being are mixed with what is genuine love are problematic, are difficult

to think about. Situations such as those in imagination, abstract imagination,

when they get mixed, they are particularly important to consider as are social

realities such as abuse, such as cold-heartedness, anti-social behaviour and

generally being a difficult creature or perhaps not quite being at the summits

of love which one understands intuitively that everyone deserves. So what

happens in those situations? There is a lot going on there.

I’ll consider those particular constructions of reality which aren’t love but

which are prevalent in the climate of the context between individuals. I

have exposited abstract imagination love and imagination love (square circle

love, two and two is five love and infatuation which isn’t actually based on a

real idea of the person, imaginary people one has as friends and lovers in

one’s head). These logical constructs are only partially logical because they do

not match to reality. What happens with these illogical aspects of our ideas

with love? They do not help us function in reality.

Cognising love

There are many different types of cognitive states, mental states. Love has a

form for all of these. Love as an emotion, love as an attitude, love as a belief,

love as knowledge, love as a faith, love as an intention, love as a desire. I will

explore some of the key ones relevant to my discussion now.

Love as an emotion

We feel emotions because we love someone we might think. I was happy

because I love her, we might say. I’m sad because I love you. I’m angry because

I love you. It is perfectly legitimate to say that these emotions are love, that,

sadness say indicates love, I wouldn’t want to tell someone that it’s not and

that they are not using the word ‘love’ or ‘emotion’ properly.

I equally would find it ok to describe the warm feeling and good sentiments

that I can feel towards someone as love. Whether these pleasant emotions line

up with one’s life situation, is a matter of the concatenation of real life events

making this so.

I would think though, that in the kernel of all the feelings towards others we

have, that there is a warm attachment to the other, which is love.

The more amplified that is the more stable we have been in life.

A loving attitude

A loving attitude covers so much of love. Attitude is quite closely connected to

grammar. Attitude is the grammar of both emotion and action. The term

grammar has to do with how that emotion and action relates to others.

Love is intention

Many concepts associated with love can be realised without there being love. I

can nourish and clothe someone, give them shelter, provide an education for

them, without necessarily loving them. I probably do if I am caring for

someone, but taking care of someone does not mean I care for them.

This is an extreme way of thinking, but a pure concept of love is lodged in the

self. It is produced from the ‘I’. Intention is necessary.

This production from the first person perspective, is a reality which allows

much love to be very quiet, which means it seeps out quietly in many

situations. It is in extreme situations that require action that the

transformation from quiet love to highly active love can be seen. Otherwise

such love is caught in instances of affection that reveal it.

The grammar or loving thoughts

There are some really loving statements. ‘I love you’ is the most famous

sentence of all history. It is loving and it is about love. Sometimes expressions

about love can somehow miss out on being loving. How can something about

love also be loving? If I, as the person expressing love am capable of loving,

which if I am expressing love I am. Furthermore the person who takes in what

I express is capable of receiving that love and being loved or loving others

after receiving that love and loving the person expressing the love. There is a

maintenance of the opportunity to love for all.

How can a bodily or verbal, obvious or more quiet, expression create an

emotion? By addressing and inspiring the part of a person that loves with

those emotions.

If someone reads this text and I want them by the way of reading it to feel

loved as they read it then the ideal outcome being realised is that it would

create the effect of wanting to love other souls.

When looking at the social and material world around, when looking at the

world, one can say, ok, here’s a soul, or some souls, before me and here’s love

towards that soul, or there’s a soul, here’s love towards that soul. One can see

everything in terms of that, everything. A soul is the subject, love is the verb,

a soul is the direct object. A grammar of loving actions makes every action like


In a way I’m not really concerned with others’ actions, I’m concerned with

their experiences, in essence I’m concerned with experience, everyone’s

experience, that’s what the reality of each self is and concern for actions, or

words or anything is completely and absolutely subjugated to that essential

concern. When it comes to thoughts there is more concern, depending on

whether the thoughts are artistic and pleasant or whether the thoughts

actually are making up the experience of – not love.

If I’m consistent all I’m thinking is, there’s a soul and here’s my love towards

that soul and then everything else has got to be neutral because if it’s not

neutral then I violate that first principle of mine of: there’s soul, there’s my

love towards that soul. Everything has to be done from neutral descriptions.

The person receiving love does not have to be present, but if they were

present, then they would receive that love. In addition to this important point,

if there is anyone else present i.e. one isn’t thinking of them alone in one’s

thoughts, then that person’s experiential life must be being loved by the

statement that loves the soul of the one who isn’t present.

This is the test for everything that one says, one can break it down into:

1.The souls, the experiencers, referred to.

2. Love that, if your intentions are right, would be received by their

experience, by their subjectivity, by their soul.

3.Other things said, which are neutral.

Take this sentence: ‘He had a soul-soothing voice’.

This sounds like a really, really lovely thing to say, but here, if we take a closer

look and apply the above:

The ‘He’, the protagonist, the subject of the sentence is the experiencer, and

he is the one being talked about. Is he being loved? Let me phrase that again,

is he, in and as an experiencer being loved? Perhaps the voice is being loved,

in that case the part of him that produces the voice is being loved, perhaps

that part of his voice given that the voice is so healing and that this may be

intentional, maybe that goodness in him is being loved. None of these

features, however, are the whole experiencer themselves, the very person is

the whole person. I love that person, he has a voice that is like this, he has

moral qualities that are like so.

This how I would formulate the three stages with respect to the idea of the

soul receiving love for everything one does.

The formation is:

1.I love this person.

2. This is how I am loving this person.

3.It’s intrinsic that other things are not part of loving this person.

I think therefore I am and I love

The idea of I-Love can be so true, it’s a purely solipsistic feeling. With mental

health comes the idea that the other person really exists, then furthermore

comes the idea that one is gaining more of an understanding than merely that

there is another soul before one. For those who are fortunate more and more

details of otherness are reached, however, it is always a matter of fortune

whether or not they are reached.

The capacity to love is quite simple, it’s a mental effort of the will. Once it is

realised that one doesn’t need outer resources, or much knowledge or other

mental qualities, one can love freely and easily. One needs to exist, to be able

to think lovingly and to have a soul in mind to love (whether that other soul

exists or not – which a delusional person might face actually). The fact that all

one needs to love is to think of a soul means that there is a very special kind of

love, I-Love-Souls. I-Love-Souls love is loving another without knowing

anything about them. All one knows is that they experience life, thus they

have a range of possible experiences in their minds as they live and one

presumes that the range consists of some of the component parts that make

up the range in one’s own mind. It is a love that one can have for one’s self,

for one’s family, friends, acquaintances, or anyone in the world and any

creature really in nature.

Love is loving souls

The soul, the experiencer, is so important because that’s what everything is,

every soul, every person is an experiencer and the world is important because

of experiencers, because of the souls in them, because of the people in them,

the animals in them. If that’s the case then the experiencer is vital to

everything. Then comes this idea, for me, of the range of experiences that the

experiencer can have, the component parts of the experience. What I’m

interested in is loving experiences, the experience of love.

Love as an experience

Thinking about love as an experience in the mind, in the soul, is thinking

about love from the perspective of the experiencer. This term ‘experiencer’ is

a term that is so full of subjectivity, self, personhood, mind, soul, and of

course experience itself – what it’s like to be a self in this world. Every soul,

every person is an experiencer and the world is important and has value

because of experiences, because someone deems something to have value. The

world is in the sense I’m describing neutral – capable of being good or evil, for

us creatures. The Irenaean theodicy which examines evil states a philosophy

that understands say water as both essential for life, capable of leisurely

enjoyment and practical but also potentially harmful to the human body in

extreme situations even though there would be no life without it and no

nourishment. It’s up to our organic and experiential processes to align and

harmonise with nature to live a pleasant and steady life.

The experiencer is vital to everything. There are a range of experiences that an

experiencer can have. The component parts of the experience include

everything from colour, depth, shape, sound, touch, warmth and so on to

happiness, elation, bliss, amazement. In essence pretty much every unique

quality of your experience reappears in your other experiences in unique

combinations. Sometimes the quality of an experience comes not from its

specific conglomeration with other experiential component parts such as

mixing roundness, gravity, white, green, fun and so on and so on to give you

kicking a football, sometimes the quality of an experience comes from there

not being so many component parts, well, not as many there must always be

an extremely large number I guess, a gentle hug with a loved one might be a

very simple experience when one can let go of so much. If one shuts one’s

eyes and silences one’s mind in a quiet place then one can really minimise the


What I’m interested in is loving experiences, the experience of love and how

to keep within that range of experience in different situations. Some

situations are good, some situations are difficult. Love is usually different in

the morning to the afternoon, at work, to social situations, emergency


Create love in your mind!

I think that it’s important to create that feeling in your mind and if you

actually do that then that’s a really important step and one can try and

understand how to create that feeling in one’s mind.

Filling yourself with love

One can fill oneself with things that keep one in the loving state. Filling with

music, with literature and thinking loving thoughts is really good. For those

who are fortunate, love fills their mind and their actions.

Exuding love

I can reach a state where I can just exude soft quiet love for everyone around

me, almost like I’m just carrying it with me at all times, ready for others,

waiting for others, and that’s what makes me happy given the nature of the

having been brought into the world by others I can carry that memory around:

the love of the womb state is warm and embracing and during those first nine

months of life that is a constant – the warmth, the state of the ‘haven’.

One can understand how that feeling can be carried and it very often hopefully

is a very possible thing to do.

A loving consciousness helps us live

If we can’t function in the world we can’t love, but we can’t survive often. The

life of love requires a lot of logical consistency, perhaps not much effort.

Perhaps one is lucky with what one has been given from the stars and it

unfurls in such a good way. We have consciousness and we understand our

own position in it, once we do acknowledge the realities that are put into the

world. We’re conceived not by our choice, we don’t cause ourselves to be we

don’t create ourselves, but once we do have consciousness then we do start to

have an understanding of the self the ego the mind and then concepts like

creating ourselves become relevant from the inside, from the mind’s point of

view, not from the general world point of view, noumenal, objective point of

view as some might put it. So if we start self-creating, self-causing and we

start on something, this move on logic on ideas in our head, then one can start

to move about the ideas, perhaps even make abstract imagination,

imagination, useful to the purpose of love in the sense that one can think

about what someone else might like and you might get it wrong but you and

try and move towards what’s right and that’s part of the movement of love

and I guess also there’s other important things to consider when it comes to

this ego which explains some of the reasons why I think things can be

difficult, which is that the ego has to survive from moment to moment. It has

to survive, it has to be, it has to continue to be. It requires certain relations to

others that false imaginary relations might not provide, it might not help us

to survive. In a social context even if it’s difficult if it’s not so happy, if the

love isn’t as great, there has to be a certain context of relation to others

socially of safety and peace if not togetherness, security if not active then at

least by the nature of things and the ego needs to survive, the self needs to

survive in order to live love.

Sometimes a lot of the other aspects of behaviour of interaction with each

other isn’t able to live up to desires, say I universally love everyone but there’s

parts of me which is unable to live that, I’m unable to persuade others, maybe

other people being unique free individuals have certain characteristics that

psychologically they don’t like and that I’m not able to inspire them to love

me as yet and that this imperfection is prevalent in the world, in reality – it’s

important to consider reality and the movement of love. Making love the

ideal, the goal for everyone and happiness is good and it sometimes it’s good

to be optimistic and lead from that. There are reasons why other things get

mixed into behavioural output and those are things to consider and a lot of it

is to do with the ego’s survival, the self’s survival and survival of the self in

mind and body.

There’s experience, there’s also it seems through the use of logic and dividing

things into logical and illogical, the acquisition, the attainment, the collection

within the mind of knowledge, knowledge of concepts that seem to function

well in determining what’s going on in the outside world that make sense.

Otherwise what we experience is abstract imagination or imagination and so

we learn. There’s also qualitative experiences that help us navigate, some

things feel good, some things don’t feel good and that’s very important.

Love is natural

The way that I understand nature, the way the idea of nature feels to me, the

way that my concepts relate as far as certain sensations as feelings and

thoughts go, will be unique to me as a unique configuration of space-time and

matter and energy represented in my consciousness. If I can function in the

world by surviving then those concepts are logically coherent to the extent

that they enable survival, they enable movement in the world in its current

state and in its movement in time and it’s those concepts which are the most

useful and if they are agreeable and also pleasing then those concepts are the

better concepts for me.

In those early, early experiences I understood that ok I might have felt a little

booboo in my brain just now in my mind, my experience, but it’s ok I still feel

loved and I understood that love goes between my good experiences and my

bad experiences. One develops a preference to be loved and in good

experiences because that just feels better and is natural. A natural

systematisation, a natural propensity, a natural disposition.

If there are logical concepts that remain for us which are pleasing or not it is

the way that love can move between those concepts that are logically coherent

and can stand as part of existence that can help to guide us.

Love is a part of physics

Take the fact that what has been built through the history of the universe to

the human mind today, I think it’s important that we feel that as a human

being we are part of something, that together in society we can find comfort in

this world and the fact is that the potential for love and love itself is a physical

fact of the universe so it is true to say love has a role to play in physics, it

might be the end of a long history from the universe forming into galaxies and

in solar systems and you know, water and land and air and all those elements,

life arising out of them and all the physical forces of nature, electricity and

gravity etc. In an important sense love is a part of physics though, that is

amazing, that the potential for it is the same fabric as the stars, is the same

fabric as the elements of the periodic table and those electromagnetic forces.

They all come together and combine in a way that minds arise and love arises

within that.

Love in harmony with natural laws

Of course so does difficulty, hardship, suffering. Out of all the goodness and

difficulty that there’s been from the moment that there were minds in

different bodies, all this has evolved from different paths through different

species, and including humans. There has been love and goodness and

happiness, not despite nature, not despite the consequences but almost

gliding along so that the consequences aren’t negative. Experiencing nature

and life such that one doesn’t ever throw oneself off the cliff but rather enjoys

the view from it. Nature can be used to hurt us or make us happy and in a lot

of instances this is shown through the technology that humans have built

recently and the comforts that we have. The material of nature can also be

controlled or manipulated or utilised to our benefit, it’s just natural material.

One of the incredible things about consciousness is, all of these facts, these

natural facts, even facts about ourselves socially, we can become aware of it

and then make a choice. We become aware to such an extent that we develop a

choice, even if it’s all part of the physical mechanism of physicality, the

universe, that long history, that huge vastness of space that’s outside us

because we understand it all from where we are right now but you know, you

become aware of what’s going on and what influences you, what factors

influence you, what makes you and you can accept or reject that and that’s

what’s fascinating about minds and particularly our minds, is our ability to

take any concept, any history of causation towards who we are today and say

yes or no to a large degree to a large extent, maybe not biological things so

much but certainly a lot of other things that we can choose, where we move

where we go and we get into things like creativity arts and culture and how we

want to express our love for others then we start to really get a lot of freedom

and ability to choose paths, becoming aware of what is, what’s been done

before and seeing what new things can be done given the physics that we do

have, but it’s amazing realising what can be done by becoming aware of a

process and going actually I’m going to do something different because I see

the whole thing before me rather than it enveloping me and that’s good and a

lot of life can be lived in harmony with nature which is good, which is good

love doesn’t have to be transgressed, to be gone against in such a way that the

consequences are felt. A way of putting it would be, ok so it’s good to live in

harmony with nature but the drive of it is ok it’s good to live in harmony with

physics. If you can live in harmony with physics then there is a lot of

opportunity to be in a loving happy state a lot of the time. Of course, that

requires luck and it requires a good environment, good habitat, and good inner

resources and ultimately at the beginning inner resources too, a lot of it’s

given to us and influenced by the outside and we have a view of ourselves and

how we make ourselves too.

Love transcends our sensations

Love even goes beyond what we experience, the experiential subjectivity, what

we go through, it’s more than that, so it’s positive but it’s not necessarily a

positive experience, a positive set of feelings and thoughts because if things

are difficult and tough then there can still be love and that love might be a

positive thing but it doesn’t mean it’s a positive experience but it’s important

to acknowledge that it is a good thing.

Some senses are pleasing like happiness, things that we perceive and

experience that make us happy and others to our senses are painful. Then

there’s love which can go between the two. One can love someone else

whether one is happy or in pain or likewise if the other is happy or in pain.

Love is so distinct from all other mental and physical functions. It is not

necessarily tied to them in every logical situation. Its meaning transcends

those terms, it transcends all those terms; there is always something it is to

have love itself which is unique to the term love. One can love someone else

whether one is in happiness or in pain or likewise if the person one loves is

happy or in pain, even if the cause of it is one’s love. It is extreme, but our

closest ties such as a mother for her son are so close that the mother will

continue to love the son even if the son wants to refuse it, really doesn’t want

it or is hurt by it. This is a very special kind of love, it is the highest level of

unconditional love. It is a love that cannot by its own nature cease from being.

That is care, which is distinct from love. I might stop loving someone if I

thought it hurts them out of care for them. Love is so distinct from these

other feelings it is its own thing.

Love and feeling good

In the pursuit of love that feels good other concepts become useful to me.

These concepts may not be totally universal but many individuals do function

with them. Concepts such as pleasure and pain, happiness and miserableness

help ascertain whether one’s love is good and wanted or not. One can use

these psychological concepts that are clues found in our facial gestures and

body language and speech, to determine what the deeper mind is feeling.

These ideas that make their way to our surface behaviour, help me love, be

good to and take care of an unknown soul.

Love can be differentiated from knowledge

It is good to know that there is a difference between love and knowledge. I

may not need to speak to myself, really, as far as informing myself goes,

unless my words are somehow easier to form out loud than in thought. Loving

myself is a real feeling though. I can pour love into my mentality. I can love

the source of that love. Say I find someone, some idea or something I love, I

can in the next moment love the self, the idea of myself loving, I can love that

with real love. There are ways of thought that like to emphasise the

importance of right now, the present moment. A technique used is to say, look

at what you’re doing now, right now, become aware of what you’re doing right

now, can you feel the now-ness? That is awareness, that is knowledge. Love’s

equivalent is to say love the being that is you, the being that is the now, it does

in fact require more or less effort. The fact of it is such. Since our brain

pathways are laid down with every thought we have and can get rechannelled

with ideas like neuroplasticity the more one thinks of loving the more brain

pathways of thought for loving exist.

Loving others is filling one’s mind with the substance of love and so if the

mind is in the state of loving, if it has much love in it, then this is a way to

love oneself. This is not just loving oneself like taking care of oneself though,

it is a very special kind of loving oneself because it isn’t joy or humour or

pleasure that one is using to love the self, it is love itself.

This is what happens when one thinks of oneself as opposed to being thought

of by others. When I think of anything I use my own particular sense of what

is what. If I think of others I am using my sense of what they are. Sometimes

someone might say something that will ring so true with me that I will

recognise as true with my own senses. Hopefully I will have the emotional

balance to handle something that I did not know about myself as they have

brought it to my awareness. Thus coming to understand oneself with

knowledge needs a careful path, preferably undergone by oneself. Sometimes

one can immerse oneself in the world so much that any occurrence or

discovery is part of what the world and the whole of life is, thus taking the

queerness of the discovery away from the self.

There is a much faster route to love that transcends knowledge and self-

knowledge. That is the route of being the state of love. One determines to

oneself that one is, and will sustain the being of a state of love, and makes

oneself that state in all situations that one is. I mean the state that transcends

particular circumstances and moods. This way the path is getting to the state

and any deviation from that is determined to be not the self. As the highest

good if any issues arise it will be the best state to be in and will deal best with

anything. It’s not so much having faith in the idea or knowing it’s true but

rather only accepting this as the way and one’s identity.

Love and difference

We’re all different and this text is not just for all us people, this text is a delve

into the understanding of what love is for everybody. A celebrated part of love

is how to give love. Each of us has a unique signature in how we give love and I

think it’s worthwhile understanding these acts from various perspectives.

Luckily love finds near universality of capacity because love is primarily a

mental action and we all have a mind, although it is true that brain lesions can

impair some key functions of love. Such facts lead to the mesh of love,

happiness, well-being and virtue that comprise what life is beyond being

itself and other things such as survival or reproduction. Plurality and diversity

mean all these ways of individuals’ lives meet in the noumenal world.

Love as a mental quality is also about feeling loved as well and recognising

when one is loved by others. It’s important to recognise that each individual,

each unique creature loves in different ways because we are different.

Love is something that is different for each individual I guess although there

are a lot of similarities as well. What is the same for all of us, each creature,

each individual creature in the world is nature, the outside world and the fact

that we relate to that world logically, even though we might be unaware of

that logic.

Some of us might only experience a part of that world, we all only experience a

part of it, some of us might only experience a very small part of it, we could be

locked in a room our whole life, for example, that’s possible, but the laws of

physics, certain laws of nature, they will be consistent and the same for

everyone. Every one of us is unique, we’re all different, it’s not just the colour

of hair or the shape of our face and our eyes, of our features, our bodies but our

personalities, our characters our minds, what goes on inside our minds, how

our brains are formed, we’ve got different minds to each other and amongst

different species, we’ve got different minds and that’s very clear. So the

concepts that we can use in the world will be also related not just to the

sameness of nature, the universality of nature, but to the uniqueness of each

individual, the way that the world and others react to the particularities of the

self will determine the concept that each self each individual uses, each

individual will maintain, develop, with the help of logic, to a better extent -

concepts that help that particular individual with its idiosyncrasies fit into the

world and function in the world if they had to survive from each moment to

the next.

Yet there’s a lot of love between us different individuals, between us different

animals and between different species, different characters, different

personalities and that’s an amazing thing. In a way the differences between us

is a focal point of the text. We are each distinct and different and love is a

relation that happens between us. It would not make sense to leave some

behind and not try to provide for them. Sometimes this can only be a dream

and an ideal. At other times one realises that there is a lot more towards this

goal that one can do.

My role amongst all the different beings

The puzzle of love is how do all the different possible combinations of person

live together in a state of universal love? Given freedom and creativity so

many different kinds of people can exist. What are the loving postulations of

how a union of these people would shape up? And how does each different

individual relate themselves to the different possible shapes of the different

possible unions? I guess historical relativity is crucial here. What is the world

like now and who are the individuals in it and what is their state of union like,

what form of interaction does their possibility of universal love take? Very

importantly for some given how things are, irrespective of the possible

universal love union (or at least harmony) what is their role in the move

towards universal love and what is the current concurrence of the love for

their close ones whom one interacts with and the rest of the world whom one

has universal love in one’s heart for?

Now I could relate all the ways that were taught to me by others, being a baby,

to being the age I am now, everything I’ve experienced that I could relate to

you about how I love but people aren’t going to be the same as me, they’re not

going to have the same tone of voice, the same larynx, the same tongue,

they’re not going to have the same eyes, the same eyebrow movements, not

going to have the same hands, the same arms, the same legs to go about, let

alone the same resources, there’s so many features I could mention. My own

concept is different from now to what it was yesterday or a few years ago

whenever, so these concepts develop from moment to moment, for me and

for each individual in the possibilities of change at least of those concepts and

a lot of it concerns a lot of this study, theoretical work on love concerns how

we carry and move forward the concepts from one moment, the past, to future

moments in the present and going forward.

Of course one can’t just go round loving everyone in that way so there’s an

important sense in which there is an ethics to love as well which is completely

and essentially a part of love. One might believe in a feeling of universal love,

an innocent pure love that is understandable that one gives off and that others

can perceive and that’s good. That’s what I mean by exuding that love for

everyone. As for the snuggling or… you know there’s so many kinds of love,

it’s got to be bespoke, it’s got to be particular to each individual, each

creature, each relationship between creatures within a species and between

species. We’ll have, depending on each individual, each unique creature,

particular configurations that will fall within the category of loving.

I am only one person and I’m here right now writing this. I can’t act on every

soul at once, especially seeing that some souls are completely separated from

me in space and time. I’m a person, I’m a human being, which makes me very

different to another creature and I’m very different from someone in another

place in the world. I’ve got a unique history in the space-time of all

individuals, of all creatures, all souls that have been. I’ve got a unique mind.

Therefore my role in loving, in being loved, is unique to my mind, to my story,

to my real story. It’s very important to acknowledge that different creatures,

different people, love in different ways, and so anything I relate will either be

my understanding of how others relate to each other or based on my own

understanding or experience of love.

There’s a completely different relation that I have to people that are really

close to me to those that are really far and one way of thinking about it is the

effect that I can have on people and animals that are around.

What is that effect? That differs with each momentary configuration of any

self. I can’t say it’s all about causation though, I’ve got to be a proponent of

the fact that some people can’t go about causing the world to change to make

it much better but they’re still a part of life so it’s being alive and having a

soul which a fundamental principle for morality with which anything that I

say about love will be deciphered and determined.

Love and morality

The good restores one to love. The good either restores one to self-love or to

loving others. The good is the possibilities of the day being a crux for love. It is

such an extreme thing to say but it is actually true that two people who are

completely evil to themselves to their own selves and to everyone else can

love each other. That is not to deny that the good helps restore love. What it

does say is that there are no ‘if… then’s’ when it comes to love. Loving

someone, by itself, only loving them, with nothing said for one’s actual

behaviour and attitude, is no guarantee of anything but itself.

Morality says the following: We don’t want to take what isn’t ours. Thus we

can’t love someone who isn’t ours, who belongs to someone else. We can’t

manipulate someone into loving us by finding out everything about them

without their consent and then using that information to gain their love. In

general one cannot take immoral steps in order to win the love of another. Not

that morality is absolute, however, what is absolute is the push towards the

higher end of the scale, the aim of the better preferences.

Spreading love in a good way

So this is about love and the spread of love. The feeling, the value, as the

greatest highest thing. It’s about doing it in the right way through good means

and it’s about there not being unhappiness and a lack of love as much as

possible. So it’s not just about the positive, it’s about there not being a

negative and that is to be done through positive means, and the removal of

anything that’s not love and happiness. Feeling alright, being alright is to be

done through as good a way as I can. There will be luck involved in life and the

success of love because no matter how much people try to do the right thing

each person is distinct from each other and people aren’t infallible and so

although we can do a lot towards making sure that the processes work right.

Of course I’ll be out learning whatever I can in that respect, it’s the case that

sometimes it doesn’t happen.

Love often heals

That feeling of love is really, really healing. You have pains in the mind that

feeling of love can really cure, it feels good, it’s enjoyable, it’s just a lovely

thing to spread socially as well, if you exude it, you know you quietly exude it,

or hug someone tight with it and exude it really nicely, have a snuggle or


Love is intended as a positive direction, perfecting natural justice

Justice is one of those ideas that is a response to transgression and violation,

such that it’s after transgression or violation that the justice of rehabilitation

and love is required. Sometimes it seems that it’s just practical because of this

idea of purity in nature and us all belonging to that natural kingdom. I mean

we just are, aren’t we? That’s just a fact, the case is that I mean you look at

some people and you look at the situation, the environment, the habitat that

they’ve been brought up in and you’re thinking, just want to care for them,

just want them to be alright. Not really there to go, oh this is good, this is bad,

you know it’s a case of just caring, loving, having affection towards anyone,

everything, no matter what. It’s also part of this project, part of my

understanding of love and the movement of love and love spreading and being

shared that a lot can be built, we can build we can create we can share, love,

goodness, well-being, by working in harmony with nature and the laws, to a

very great extent, almost as if although there’s a lot of imperfection there’s a

lot of instances, particular instances of perfection too.

Unconditional love

There’s this unconditional quality to love at its best. Love for beings no matter

what. It might seem sometimes to run out but it seems to go between good

experiences and more difficult experiences, it helps to restore us to good

experiences, it’s there that we sense a lot of good coming off it even when

we’re going through difficult experiences and it brings a lot of good

experiences to whatever negative situation that one is going through when

that love comes, that’s what happens when we experience love through the


That’s basically the continuation, propagation of love and happiness from

being to being, generation to generation, through time. With our functional

concepts, our logic, each individual understands this basic set of experiences

because happiness, goodness, love – they are very prevalent. Functional facts

are the ultimate universal but our subjective human world certainly fits in

there and we recognise openly publicly, much of the animal world does.

So much for learning what love is for an individual, we start to grow and then

we look out the world and we’re thinking how do I bring love to other people’s


That love can really help each individual function within the world and within

the community of all individual beings. In a way everything that I express will

concern concepts that I have acquired but also if I’m trying to relate concepts

that will be useful to others it will be concepts that I’ve acquired about others

through my own lens, through my own filter, through my own senses and

configurations of apprehension.


I personally was taught the meaning of love or the experience of love as related to me primarily through my parents, my guardians, my carers, my creators who have brought me to this world and raised me, help me grow up, the experience primarily was one of companionship or warm feeling that they exuded and providence, taking care of me, all these things together, an attachment to each other, togetherness that we’re on the same side and all this was related by those feelings and actions. I guess it’s those feelings and actions that can fit into one’s mind as one apprehends what it is, what that is, and labels it as something that is above and beyond other experiences and fluctuations. If it’s so steady and unified and universal and consistent that it becomes the core of how one understands and knows the spectrum of love, happiness and pain, then it is really definitional, so it’s good to be able to unite as much as possible the qualities of love and goodness, of happiness, of care, togetherness, loyalty, because then when one is conceived and born and grows up one has a very good education and knows that this is what it’s all about that this is a real thing, love is a real thing and this is how one recognises the qualities, it fits into one’s senses as pleasant, as a good thing as what one is drawn to in one’s way of living. If it has all of those good qualities together one will seek those qualities. That’s not to say that one couldn’t even in the worst situation, a really bad situation, develop a sense of love for someone else and maintain it, certainly, because it could be the case that I love someone and they’ve completely lost everything, they’ve lost their minds, they’ve lost their ability to express affection and tenderness and they’re quite difficult and predisposed in their current state to dishing out a lot of hard experiences to others of pain. I could say that there’s no love there, they’re not making me happy, that’s why, they’re not sticking by me, that’s why, we’re not being together that’s why, but I’m still entitled to love them, I can love them when I say I loved you before, I will always love you, I love you now even in this state. What’s important in that case is there’s someone else going off the rails, leaving, not wanting to know you anymore, just getting on with their life in a different way, one’s still free to love them and say I love you and that’s alright and that love might bring them back to you or it could be the case that it doesn’t. There’s some that might say ok, so you have to love yourself too because if someone is treating you badly then maybe you don’t love yourself if you continue loving them but that in a way is to life a sense of freedom, it’s up to luck because with freedom and luck one might win another over again and win their heart or one might not be able to, one might lose them and those are just the facts. With more knowledge of the situation of their heart comes a certain amount of ability to understand what one should do with one’s own feelings and then a certain amount of it is nature and life unfolding, that throws new things one’s way and that’s an experience we’ve all had for all of human existence.

  • Author: Arash Afsahi
  • Published: 2015-12-20 11:20:07
  • Words: 8941
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