Just a Memory
Lauren L. Carpenter
Copyright © 2015 Lauren L. Carpenter. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher. All works are protected by copyright law. Cover art created by the author.
This short story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events and persons are coincidental.
I remember the person I once was when you were in my life. And I try to forget it more and more every day. And I have good days, and days were I fall back down to my knees. But in the end, there is something I want you to know. Even if I don’t ever have the chance to say it to your face, in my heart it’s a confession I must make.
I don’t believe in coincidences and I don’t believe in accidents of fate. There’s beauty in every move and perfection in mistakes. Every moment is another page in the story I will always keep.
With you, I became an imitation of what you always wanted me to be. I lost a bigger part of my spirit in the spaces and lies formed in between. Trust was never more the defining quality of the deception you made me blind to see. I gave you my world, and you took away everything.
The journey to find yourself is one not everyone is willing to take. We can spend a lifetime in our own dream world, fighting ourselves never to awake. Fear is a powerful chain, meant to break and permanently harm. But when you love someone, no matter what danger your heart knows, it seems to just ignore the alarms.
Back then I was only a child and my innocence was what you used against me. The most effective trap is one which the person realizes too late they were never free.
And you would be wrong if you thought I blame you for the scars once lining my heart and mind. And I would be lying if I said that even in the darkest of times I tried to find the memories where you were once loving and kind.
The world is both a beautiful and dark place. Sometimes it covers you with storm clouds and at times it fills your entire being with unbelievable grace.
And every day I have to make a choice, it’s a struggle and an opportunity. I fight with defeat and the doubts which will do anything to make me abandon my own victory.
But I share my story and I wear my own tears, laughter and love on my sleeves. And I close my eyes, safely in the reverie of my own dreams. And I find a way where I can be free.
So this is where I close the book, throw away the key.
And this is where I create my own happiness by learning how to truly and fully love the person inside of me.
And this is where I find forgiveness in the promise of a future where I am free.
And this is when I decide there will no longer be chains around my heart and choose my own destiny.
I always thought this was your story, because I never thought to look within.
But now I see a new story of my own about to begin.
I once had a story of only darkness because I forgot how to find the light. I was once so lost in you I didn’t understand the way I was losing everything silently to the night.
I’m awake to the world again and I know more of love than you ever showed me. My only wish for you is to one day see.
Nothing of a person’s value can ever be owned or be a belonging of your possession, a person is more than what you want them to be.
And I close my eyes to see.
I close my eyes to truly see.
Letter to Reader,
It has always been my sincere dream to write and share my words with the entire world. Thank you for reading and for being my inspiration to chase after my own dreams.
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