Impongible (Preview beta)


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Becca Menon


copyright 2016 Becca Menon

Cover art: By Francesco Valentini (gravure ancienne) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Cover Design By John Bartelstone www.johnbartelstone.com

Published by Becca Menon at Shakespir

“THE” = The

“OMNI” = All

IMPONGIBLE”… Without Equal

[Captain, O Captain, whom shall we consult?
How do we decide how Impongible’s filed?
Are you put in the drawer that’s marked: SILLY ADULT – or
(Do you even know?) are you: HEAD-SPINNING CHILD?

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By Daderot (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons


To Dream The Impongible Dream

Impongible’s Mascot

The Artist Impongible

The Impongible Hunt

Impongibilities For Sale

Impongible’s Party

To Dream The Impongible Dream

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] Richard Caton Woodville, Jr. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

“Captain Impongible!” clamored the crowd,
“Bring out the pickles, you’re dreaming too loud.”

“I can’t hush. Since I am the one that you see,
That proves it is you who are dreaming of me!”


Then wiping his nose on the tail of a horse,
Captain Impongible wept with remorse.

“Please explain to my mother that when you awoke
The dream of Captain Impongible broke.”

He banged on his helmet and called to his team,
“Now pull out your shoe-horns and start up the theme!”

Impongible’s players then struck up a tune.

Each shoe-horn resembled a squeaky balloon.

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By D. Sharon Pruitt from Hill Air Force Base, Utah, USA [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

All creatures in earshot fell down as if killed.

The Captain exclaimed, “I’m delighted you’re thrilled.

Just one other thing that I’d like to announce:
I have itches for sale at a dollar an ounce.”

The public arose with an ominous shout.

Impongible thought he had better get out.


He jumped on a tricycle slung on a tree
And squealed as he pedaled, “What joy to be me!”

Impongible’s Mascot


[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By Charles Darwin [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Captain Impongible got in the habit
Of doing his gardening dressed as a rabbit.

“That way they’ll think there’s already ahead of them
One who has gobbled the carrots – the bed of them!”

Imagine Impongible’s utter surprise
When one bunny decided the clever disguise

Was meant as a signal to Follow-the-Leader.

He felt he had no other choice but to feed her.

After that he was constantly trailed by the bunny,
Except for occasions when just for the fun, he

Would let her ride right on the front of his trike
With her ears streaming back, which she seemed to like,

Especially when he would pedal so fast
His public would cry, “His future is past! –

Creative Commons Image:
By Row-k (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

But what about moose eating cheese macaroni?”
The Captain breezed by with, “That’s only baloney!”

Whirling the trike through the maze of the crowd,
He called, “I’m Impongible! That makes me proud.”

The Artist Impongible

Captain Impongible plunged in the ocean
To teach the crustaceans to live life in motion.

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By George Chernilevsky (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

But cockles and mussels, each oyster and clam,
And even the barnacles laughed as he swam.

So Impongible, back on his natural element,
Determined instead, “I’ll tattoo an elephant

On every cantaloupe I can find.

An artist is only as good as his rind!”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+]
By by 南宮博士 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/gameimp/528164110/) [CC BY-SA 2.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The project not one the grocer would like,
Impongible hopped on the three-sided bike.

His legs making circles as fast as they could.

The Captain cried out, “To be me is so good!”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By unknown ; inconnu [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons


The Impongible Hunt

[+ Creatvie Commons Image:+]
By Penarc (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Captain Impongible’s mother was worried:
“He speaks when he talks! On the whole, I’d prefer he’d

Eat when he swallowed and walked when he strolled.

The Captain said, “Mother, your fashions are old.

Impongible Captains must do the do-derring.

Now give me your blessing, for I am preparing

To hunt for the secretive Uvula, which
If found, may make me both famous and rich!”

So he climbed up a mountain and stood on his head.

Some Uvula echoed whatever he said.

“That Uvula mocks me,” Impongible thought.

“He’s really too rude to be worth being caught.”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+]
By Jin Man Choi (http://blog.naver.com/cjm6394 GFDL) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia

Then down from the mountain he rode with a “Whee!
I’ve riches enough just because I am me!”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] Henry Vandyke Carter [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Impongibilities For Sale

Wintertime holidays! Loading his trike
With items he thought that his public might like,

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] Claude Monet [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The Captain hoped hordes would swarm round to swap
Cash for his treasures, so then he could shop.

His fans must fill up his now empty pocket.

The Captain’s one wish for himself? Just a rocket.

If his missile would orbit as fast as he planned it,
He’d meet himself coming right as he landed.

The Captain set up at the edge of the park
With his rabbit, and called like a carnival barker,

“Step up, folks! See things here you won’t find in stores.

Mere money in trade and they shall be yours!

Who wants this bewitching, invisible ring?
What years of enchantment this bauble could bring!

Or who’s for a bottle of Absolute Quiet?
Lean close and keep noises at bay when you try it.

Look: pieces of sky from a very clear day.

But keep the box closed so they don’t float away.”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+]
By Mee2ch (Own work (own photo)) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Even Impongible’s mascot got cold.

Waiting for one single thing to be sold.

Still the Captain was full of good cheer packing up.

“Well, Turnip,” (the critter who always turned up),

Why should I care about buying them stuff?
My friends all have me, and I’m more than enough!”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+].Science museum [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Impongible’s Party

[+ Creative Commons Image:+]
By Rept0n1x (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

One of Impongible’s small misadventures
Was trying to make a friend’s parrot wear dentures.

“Just think how much better the creature would speak
If helped by some teeth in the sides of his beak!”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By Brenda Clarke [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

But the bird wouldn’t sit to find out if they fit.

On seeing Impongible’s fingers, he bit.

Dousing his hand in a bucket of ice,
The Captain said, “Squawking can also be nice,

And what interests me is why air has no taste.”
Then he stuck out his tongue to see what it traced.

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By ell brown [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

He rushed to his garden to taste the fresh air,
Just staggered when cheers of “Surprise!” met him there.

[+ Creative Commons Image:+]
Emoji One [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Though he’d made all the plans, he was dumbstruck because
He had not told himself when his own party was.


[+ Creative Commons Image:+
++]By Eugenio Hansen, OFS (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

“O Captain, our Captain, we made you a card!
By the way, since you’re smart, tell why rocks must be hard.”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+] By Contributor(s):
T. Willmett & Son, Printers and Stationers, Townsville and Charters Towers (Copied and digitised from a postcard) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Impongible pondered. He hmm…d and he coughed.

“If rocks are so hard it’s because they’re not soft.”

He then offered rides on his trike to each guest.

“At being Impongible I am the best!”

[+ Creative Commons Image:+]
By Orosdi-Back (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons


Impongible (Preview beta)

  • Author: Becca Menon
  • Published: 2016-09-01 23:20:14
  • Words: 1307
Impongible (Preview beta) Impongible (Preview beta)