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If I'm to Blame

If I’m to blame,

Do I take that fall?

If crying is the crime,

What do you have to say?

Do you now

Have it all?

Time and time again,

I’ve had to be the one

That’s had to walk away.

But no hurt in a while

Has made me break back down.

I’m used to it and can even smile

When you only wanna drag me into your Hell.

If I’m to blame,

What do I say?

Where do I stay to

Stay away?

If I felt a bit of what you admit

You want me to feel,

I could not be

Who I am, who you’ve made me,

And I would rather die inside all over again.

I will not submit, but I will not quit.

This one last appeal is to calm your heart,

Your bitterness a bit and still

Have some shot at all the naught

That this is coming to, that you’ve unglued, to finally end.

Where is it that you’ve

Taken yourself away to like so often before

When I could only hold my head in my hands

And breathe heavily to not ignore but simply implore

Some better judgment of myself, to not break out,

To do my best to deny the rest of all of this emptiness

And maybe, just maybe, understand.

If I’m to blame,

I take the shame.

I take the cold, staring circumstance.

I don’t know who you are

Or what you want or when I wasn’t some

Wasted days, some yesterdays that

Should’ve been but have gone and come and gone again.

Are you at all like me,

Sitting in a car, in make believe,

Wondering why the worst of it never leaves

And why it is that you can’t find relief

From a life you never intended to pretend to need?

When it was all hanging on a rope,

I found a part of you and found some hope,

But I hoped too hard, and it came apart,

And I never left, but I could never be

The mat you asked to lay on the ground to wipe your feet.

I might have a persevering heart, but it’s still a heart that bleeds.

I’m in agony. I’ve been deceived, but

If I’m to blame,

I take it all for no less but maybe more.

I take it all the same,

If I’m to blame.

Though I was right, and you were wrong,

I… waved goodbye because I…

Walked in on

A time when you were

Already gone, giving up, and

No longer strong,

Taking back all

That tore you up and

Tearing up all the

Paper strings of a

Not enough kind of

Do it rough sort of

Life you

Could not love,

So we never were and

Never truly could be

What you want, so you

Put me down

Because you

Put me up

Too high in the sky on a

Pedestal that no one could

Stand on in the rain that you

Poured out of your

Bitter cup.

I’m bruised enough to

Be no more used too much,

And… if I’m to blame,

Do you remember who I am?

Do you remember my name?

I guess I’m to blame.

If I am, If I’m to blame,

I’ll push it away again and

Into the holes in my veins

Where my blood has spilled to nearly kill me

Once and for all, for all of the same,

Because I’m the one to blame, I guess

I’m the one to blame, so,

If I’m to blame,

So be it as it may, because

If I’m to blame,

It no longer matters what I say.

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If I'm to Blame

I’m bruised enough to Be no more used too much, And… if I’m to blame, Do you remember who I am? Do you remember my name? I guess I’m to blame. If I am, If I’m to blame, I’ll push it away again and Into the holes in my veins Where my blood has spilled to nearly kill me Once and for all, for all of the same, Because I’m the one to blame, I guess I’m the one to blame, so, If I’m to blame, So be it as it may, because If I’m to blame, It no longer matters what I say.

  • ISBN: 9781311823564
  • Author: JaMa Literary Agency
  • Published: 2015-12-25 08:05:06
  • Words: 636
If I'm to Blame If I'm to Blame