Copyright 2017 Mario V. Farina
Shakespir Edition, License Notes
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Mario V. Farina
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“I want to be genius!” exclaimed Roger Franklin.
“You want to be a what?” I asked. Mr. Franklin was a patient of mine. I had just given him a report concerning his comprehensive annual examination. I had told him he was healthy in all important aspects. Mentally and physically, he had nothing to worry about for another year. His comment (I had not taken it as a request) had been a surprise.
“Thank you for giving me this report, doctor,” he had said when I handed him the small brochure with the results of his tests from various doctors and machines, as well as from me. “I already knew what you were going to tell me,” he continued. “I live a healthy life; don’t smoke, don’t touch liquor or drugs.”
“And you want to be a genius?”
He nodded yes, vigorously.
“Do you know what a genius is, Roger?” I asked.
“Yes, Dr. Robinson! A super smart person.”
Puzzled, I said, “And you want to be a genius?”
“Why, for Heaven’s sake? Your intelligence is fine!”
“I want to make a big contribution to humankind,” he stated. “Currently, I’m not smart enough!”
Astonished, I framed my next question carefully. “You think a doctor can make you a genius?”
“Sure! These days, a lot of things can be accomplished in the field of medicine that were impossible some years ago. There must be a brain operation, a medicine, or some sort of procedure, that can make me a lot more intelligent than I am. I’ve taken a lot of IQ tests, and they always show that my intelligence was somewhere near a hundred. I’m just not satisfied with that!”
“Yes, medicine has made many advancements, and is still doing so, but, even though I’m a doctor, and keep up with my profession, I’ve never heard of any way that doctors can make anyone a genius.”
“As you know, money is not a problem with me,” he responded. “Why is it that I can’t use some of it to change my IQ from one hundred to three hundred?”
“I don’t know if I can give you a satisfactory answer to that,” I replied. “From everything I’ve ever read about, or learned, it seems that genius intelligence is born with a person, not created. With a lot of study, a person can increase his or her IQ slightly, but not as radically as you’re asking.”
“In some TV programs, sometimes somebody gets hit on the head, or falls, or some accident happens and, the person gains a lot of intelligence suddenly! Can’t this happen to me?”
“I suppose, I’m not sure. It may happen sometimes, but I don’t think anyone has ever figured out, exactly where a person needs to be hit, and with but force, and all that. Surely, you’re not thinking about getting injured in order to get smarter, are you?”
“Sure, why not? But in a controlled way! Can’t you keep hitting me on the head until I get smart?”
The remark was so outrageous, I couldn’t help but smile. I thought I’d pursue this line of thinking for a little while. “Are you asking me to hit you on the head in different ways so that one of those ways might make you a genius?”
“Yeah, sort of, I guess. In the operating room! Just keep tapping my head, at different places until I become a genius!”
“Tell me, if you’re unconscious in the operating room, how would I be able to tell, by the different ways I tap your head, whether you have become a genius yet?”
“Would it be possible for me to be conscious while you were doing the tapping so that you can keep asking me?”
“You might find that rather uncomfortable,” I responded. “Would you be able to stand the severe pain that some of the taps might cause you?”
“Well no, I suppose I would have to be asleep while you were doing that. Are there any instruments that tell you how intelligent a person is while he or she is being operated on?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” I was having a lot of fun with the conversation. I just wanted to see how far it would go before Roger would realize the futility of it.
“You can’t think of any way what I’m asking could be done? “ he asked seemingly dejected.
“Yes Roger, I believe that’s the bottom line so far as I’m concerned. Besides, in medical training, we take an oath never to do anything that would harm anyone. Tapping you on the head to cause injuries would come under the category of doing harm.”
“Maybe I could have it done in some other country,” he suggested.
“Doctors are the same throughout the world,” I responded. “I don’t believe you would ever find a responsible doctor that would agree to what you’re asking.”
“No matter how hard I searched?”
“I think so. If you found someone that would agree to it, I would have to decide that he, or she, was a quack.”
“Thank you Dr. Robinson,” he said. “I’ll have to think about what you’ve been saying to me to decide whether I can try anything else.”
“I think that’s a very good idea,” I said. “But, for the time being, I can’t think of any responsible way to grant what you’re asking, even if I thought it was possible.”
That’s the way the conversation ended. I did not hear from Roger Franklin, until it came time for his next yearly exam. It was early afternoon when he entered my office with a smile on his face, “Hello, Dr. Robinson,” were his first words. “Right on time for my scheduled exam.”
“Nice to see you, Roger,” I said. “How have you been feeling since I last saw you?”
“Super,” he responded. “Wonderful!”
“Glad to hear that,” I said. Then, I thought I’d try being a little jovial. “Have you been having your head tapped during the year?”
“Well, as a matter, (I know you’re just haven’t a little fun by asking that), that is exactly what has been happening!”
“Dumbfounded, I sputtered, you’ve actually been having that done?”
“Yes, I visited a lot of countries and finally found a doctor that would do what I asked. He was able to tap me on the head in various ways while I was under hypnosis. He found places in small areas of my brain where even slight stimulation would cause huge changes in intelligence. Using an online device, he was able to track the improvements as he kept testing in different places. Finally, he ended the procedure. Bringing me out of hypnosis, he advised me that he had improved my intelligence beyond any ability of IQ tests to measure.”
“I had no idea this was happening,” I stammered.
Roger dug into his pocket, and produced a round gold medal about the size of a silver dollar. “A few days ago, I received this medal for an outstanding contribution in public service,” he said. “The person who awarded the medal, referred to me as Genius Of The Century!”
I could barely find the words to ask my next question. “And the outstanding contribution was . . .?”
“Discovering a new way to improve intelligence in human beings!”