Her Majesty’s New Secret Service
Copyright © 2016 by Jenni Gisselbrecht Hyena
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means – except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews – without written permission from its publisher.
“Sorry, mittens.” One of the dumb muscle crocodile Secret Service agents grunted, as we once again attempted to shoulder our way forth to our old cheetah friend near the podium up front and center on the park’s main show stage. “Last time, I can’t let any one of ya’ll through to madam president without a guest pass; especially any rowdy type characters. “Now, just what all the fuck’s that supposed mean, puff and scales?” Tawret boomed, nearly roaring fully in hippo frustration. The agent slowly repeated himself, stomach churningly in a condescending like matter, and I could just nearly she the fat almost instantly hit the fire for Tawret as she let out a snarl and was just about to freight train the guy full force before Jenni quickly grabbed and consoled her. “Hey, come on now, delicious.” Jenni mock cooed in a suave tone. “Don’t ya got anything better to do than try to harass good and honest women who are just trying to make a real somewhat sole difference here? I tell ya what, there’s a nice crack whore house the Columbians recently set up when good old El Chavo got out the pen six months ago. Why don’t you take yourself and a few of your DEA buddies down there for a little country fried hoedown over there sometime, hmm?” Jason and Jessica both giggled silently along with Benjamin and the Lizard Squad somewhere off in the background as the Crocodile’s face went straight Robbin Williams from “Misses Doubtfire” as a familiar she cheetah began to pad her hard soled loafers over and just as quickly get assessment of the situation. “Let em through, Jervis. Go hang with your buddies down at the blue lagoon or some shit.” Donna ordered with a wave of her hand, and just like that, the bowling ball built crocodile and all his little fed lackeys swaggered away toward the direction of Ben’s sushi shop a little ways down. “Ha! Got em! Fuckin good one, Gisselbrecht.” Jason laughed, punching Jenni playfully in her tree limb of a hyena shoulder. Donna smiled equally in return. “Don’t at all mind any of the feds here.” She assured. “They’re all just more government scum, digging for gold in between the shit laden ass cracks of society for even more of the hard working American’s tax dollars and are still yet trying to run a fucking train on me after I issued that demonetization bill for their LEO salaries after what their stupid ass local bitches did to that poor hippo guy down in Tulsa. Fuckers really need to be taught a whole lot more than just a scroll and a piece of ribbon holding it together, ya know what I mean?” “No doubt, sista.” Jenni replied, slapping paws with her and the rest of us in condolence. “Which is exactly why we’re here standing before you once again today. Being that you’re now literally everyone’s one and only favorite government executive up in office today, and an independent, no less, we thought we could be of more than some assistance than these dry humping, crack rock fools you have currently hanging around you as your quote unquote, “Secret Service”. The cheetah chuckled, folding her arms serenely. “Shit, and here I am sitting up here thinking you’d never even ask.” “Huh?” Jessica asked, confused. “Just like that? You’d sacrifice your job, reputation and recognition as an animate being and possibly all life and limb just to dish it out once again alongside a group of everyday misfits like us?” “Fuck yeah.” Donna solidly agreed. “You guys are my fam. I could never think of leaving you niggas in the dust to become another shoe shining sellout for the Ursadae. We already had a good someone named Hussain perfectly fulfilling that toe jam disgusting role, and now Trahan as well too. I’m ready to let that fucker know his true place back at the bottom end of the totem pole where he belongs with the rest of his trailer park crackers clan. You down?” “For life and eternity as always, my nigga.” Jenni confirmed, lovingly dapping her along with Tawret and the rest of us. “Moja Kwa Wote!”