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From Bleak to Beautiful


Copyright 2017 Shenali A. Ranasooriya

Shakespir Edition

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This book is Dedicated to my adoring parents, loving

siblings and awesome Friends who always told me that I

can reach the sky


_The sound of their footsteps terrifies me……. _

_my breathing quickens…… and my hands are shaking with fear……. fear of being caught…. _

_fear of them finding me….. fear of them finding Rose. _

I wrap my arm around Rose protectively, even though I’m aware that I’m defend less against them.. I would not stop trying…… I would never stop trying to protect her even if I have to go through endless _beatings, I would try my best to defend her…..I always have and I always will. _

_So even though I die today I’ll know I died trying……. _

_They are coming close and I can feel rose stiffen beside me. _

I calm her down with gentle whispers telling her that everything will be alright, and that I won’t let [_them have her. that I will protect her, when deep down I’m far from calm I’m terrified of what will _]

happen if we get caught, but I don’t show weakness….. I have to be strong for her, for Rose, because [_she’s the only thing that matters, she’s my world and I don’t want to lose her. _]

“but we can’t hide forever” Rose says in between sobs… Her eyes filled with horror and fear, dark patches covered under her eyes from lack of sleep, her cheeks gone pink like the roses in the meadow beyond the hills where I used to take her to play when they were gone, where I used to read stories of unicorns, rainbows, princesses’ and happy endings, where I used to sing endless songs with beautiful melodies, where we used to run until our feet’s were sour and our hearts start to beat rapidly and we [_lie down on the grass to catch our breath. _]

The meadow is the world of happiness we created to survive, to stay alive and to hope that the pain [_we so badly endured is just a little piece of darkness. _]

That hope kept us going, telling our selves that the rest of the world is not as cruel as we were forced to see….. that even though this whole universe was filled with darkness, there’s always a star that _shines to cover up the dark. _

That’s what I tell myself everyday like a mantra in my head, that even though I hate this wrenched life which is bestowed upon me, I’ll always be great full to have Rose, that I’m not alone, I hate that she had to go through this pain, but seeing her dark curly hair which is tangled near her neck, her deep dark brown eyes and little rosy cheeks everyday makes me feel strong knowing that there’s a reason _for me to live… and that’s her. I keep going for her. _

I swore to protect her because she’s the only good thing in my life which I never want to let go. That’s the reason why I planned to escape, I wanted her to have a happy life and not this hell hole. I planned our escape carefully knowing that if we get caught it will be the end for both of us. but we can’t [_escape if they find us now. _]

I wipe away roses tears with the back of my long shirt sleeves, and kiss her temple. “I won’t let them have you, we’ll escape and find a lovely place to live, a place surrounded with beautiful flowers like in the meadow beyond the hills, a place where we can smell the sweet scent of the grass when it rains, where we can eat freely and never have anyone telling us what to do” I wipe away another tear that _glides down her cheeks “ and we my dear sister will discover something we never had” _

[_“what’s that?” she asked. _]

“Freedom. Rose. we will experience the taste of freedom when we escape tonight” I say to her and my heart fills with warmth when I see her dead eyes lit up and hope starts to rise, and at that moment I _realized that I made the right choice of escaping.. _

_ when the clock reached twelve ,we crawled through our basement window to the garden and I _

quickly grab the bag of supplies I packed yesterday when they were gone, although it doesn’t contain much, it’ll be enough for us to survive for a few days which contains cans and packets of instant _cereals and foods I stole from the pantry cupboards, and the few amount of cash I snatched from _

_their wallets. _

_when we were just about to run down the streets, we stopped when we heard a loud noise inside the _

_house, a huge bang and screaming followed by footsteps, no doubt they found both of us were _

_missing and started to search, not because they actually cared or worried but because they love us _

playing hard to get, they loved when we resist and hide, when we are vulnerable it gives them a taste [_of power., then they could search for us like a predator catching its pray. _]

I couch down beside a bush and pulled Rose beside me sealing her mouth with my hand, signaling her [_not to make a sound. _]

I hear their footsteps come closer and closer and both us of stopped breathing, not daring to make any sound and suddenly it stopped. It was like the whole thing went mute, even the crickets stopped their songs, and my mind was deciding what to do next. ‘have I done the right thing? or have I put both of us in grave danger?’ ‘can we escape?’ ‘can we find that place where we called paradise?’ ‘can we actually find freedom like I told her we would’ these thoughts were crossing my mind when I heard the door close shut, and I released a huge sigh…. unaware that I was still holding my breath. Maybe _they were not good at tracking like I thought they were, maybe we had luck by our side today. _

I clutched Roses shoulder and lift her chin so she was facing me “do you trust me?” I asked her and she nods in agreement “ do you trust me to keep you alive?” again she nods and whisper “I always trust you” that gave me strength and for the first time that day I smiled down at her, all my worries [_of getting caught forgotten, my ears ring with what she said, that Rose trusted me no matter what _]

“we’ll see paradise I promise you” and for a moment I felt the time freeze between this moment Rose [_trusting me with her life, making me believe that there will be that tomorrow we always hopped for _]

_“PARADISE” me smiling down at my beautiful sisters hopeful eyes. _

_Then it happened……….. _

_The perfect moment snatched away from us when they grabbed her away from me. _

And at that very moment our dreams, our plan, our promises, shattered and burned to ashes like they [_never even exist. _]

_I knew then when they grabbed her in to the house screaming, begging and struggling and me _

_running behind her to save her knowing that my fights will never be enough, me screaming thousand _

[_endless no!! and demanding them to LEAVE HER ALONE! which they’ll never bother to listen. _]

_At that moment I knew…………. _

I just knew that when I saw my sisters horrid bloodshot eyes and my little Rose scream her cries of [_pain. _]

_That I’ll never be the same again……………. _


Chapter 01

7 years later


Her screams…………

I jerk awake, screaming and scanning my surroundings ‘it’s just another nightmare’ I told myself, but

it doesn’t calm me down, my heart is beating rapidly, sweat gathered in my temples and the sheets

tangled with my legs.

Her screams are still ringing in my ears as if it’s alive and real, like it’s not a nightmare at all. suddenly the air in my room is not enough for me to breathe, quickly I kneel down on the floor and bury my

head between my legs. A panic attack is not a first for me, I’ve being having them ever since that

fateful day 7 years ago, nightmares never stopped either, even though I’ve been to several

psychologist, rehab facilities and the finest hospitals in the country, no one was able to help me. My foster parents never gave up on me though, they still search for a solutio,n which we all know will

never be solved.

The flashbacks always comes back like they are real, like now when her screams were no different

than that day.

I take deep breaths…. inhale………………exhale…………..inhale…………….exhale………… breathe in……………breathe out……….

I continue this mantra for few hours until my breathing returns to its normal rate. Then I slowly tip

toe downstairs to the kitchen to find painkillers, because after the panic attacks a major headache

follows. I swallow the two pills, gulp down a glass of water and climb into my bed.

I know I’ll wont fall asleep again, but I wait until my headache subsided and started to get dressed.

The clock in my nightstand shows it’s way past midnight, but that would not stop me from going to

see her, I have to see her, I have to talk to her and apologize again.

So I wear my track bottoms, zip into my hood jacked and tie the laces of my running shoes. Tying my

long hair into a ponytail and covering my head with my hood. Crawling through my bed room

window is not a problem, because I do that often in order to avoid waking up my parents, my step

brother Josh won’t mind me going because he understands my need to see her.

I slowly climb down through the tree to our next door neighbors garden, not that there’s a neighbor in that house, The house has been abandoned for more than two years now, and it’s in the market

for sale. the last person who lived in this house is old man Jenkins, he didn’t have any relatives or

friends to pass down the house, poor old man always was a loner, not that he enjoyed any company.

After he passed away, the house was on sale but no one wanted to buy a rusting old house, since

then I’ve been using it as my sanctuary, I spend most of my time there, even though the house is

sealed and I don’t have any keys, I climb in through Brocken window upstairs and made it my

personal place. I love this house and I hope no one buys it because one day I’m going to buy it myself.

I slowly climb up the rusty old gate and jump to the street, checking my parents room for any sigh of

light, I braced myself to start the run, next thing I know I’m finding myself on the ground with a man who has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.

“ugh” he winced in pain “young lady can’t you watch where your going?” I didn’t reply in fact I kept starring at his eyes which were blue like the ocean, I’m mesmerized by their beauty that I forgot that I’m on top of him, he doesn’t seem to mind as well because he smiled at me the most charming smile

I’ve ever seen, showing a dimple in his left cheek and making his eyes more brighter and beautiful

making me squirm. Suddenly his eyes seem familiar like I’ve seen them before but where? I’ve never

met him in my life or have I?

He reached for my hood and pushed it back down which made my ponytail fall all over his face, he

gently pushed away my hair past my shoulders and caressed my cheek with his strong fingers, I

gasped, his simple touch making my cheeks burn and both of us were finding it hard to breath, but

didn’t make any effort to move away, our gazes locked in each other. That’s when It became clear,

his eyes….. I know why they are familiar because I know who had similar eyes like that, because they look just like those eyes……. her eyes…..

I froze.

How can that be?

I quickly pulled away from him, standing on my heels putting myself together to escape and run as

far away from him. But before I could sprint away he grabbed my wrist, big mistake because I turned

around and kicked his knee. He stumbled to the ground again screaming in pain, and I took that as a

clue to leave.

“wait…..” I heard him scream. “what’s your name?” I didn’t dare stop neither did I turn around and reply I just kept moving ignoring him.

“ wait…. who are you?” this time his voice was closer, so I ran as fast as I could and I know he can’t catch me because

a. I kicked his knee and he can’t run

b. I’m fast

c. all my life I’ve been running away and no one dares to catch me

As I was running away only thing my mind was saying was he had her eyes! he had her eyes! he had

my Rose’s eyes…………..


The gates were wide open, and not a single guard in sight “where are they?”

The cemetery was dark, but that will never stop me from seeing Rose, I’ve visited this place enough

times to find her with my eyes closed.

I kneel in front of her stone, and dig to find the box I buried near her grave to hide it from thieves and guards. I opened the wooden box to grab the candles and the match box. I lit the candles around

her grave and cleaned all the dust covered in her stone. She never should be in the dark, My Rose

had enough of darkness, where are the guards? They shouldn’t abandon her like this, my Rose hated

to be alone. I’m so glad I came, maybe my nightmares were a calling from her for me to come and

see her.

I stared at her picture which is engraved to the stone and started to wonder how she would look like

if she was alive and here with me now. She would be beautiful I have no doubt about it, she always

was the charming one, and never failed to make everyone else fall in love with her. Things would

have been different if she was with me now, but she’s not here and it’s all my fault.

My eyes started to burn. “Hey Ro…… I came back to see you, I’m sorry that you have to be trapped in this dark, lonely place with no one to talk to, with no freedom to run in the meadows like we used

to” tears gathered in my eyes but I didn’t dare let them fall so I blink them away.

“I’m sorry…… I’m so………. sorry Ro, I’m sorry that this… is all my fault” my throat was on fire. “I was suppose to save you, but I failed…. I’m a failure Ro… I failed you…… and I’ll never forgive myself for that”

I often come visit her grave to apologize, but I know that I would never be forgiven for being

vulnerable that day. The pounding ache in my chest makes it hard for me to breathe. I clutched my

jacket and started to pant. “ I hate living like this Ro……”

“Take me with you..” the ache becomes more and more intense “I miss you Ro”

I took off my jacket and shirt, Grabbing the knife from the box, I gently pierced it to my forearm.

Pain gave me relief, the pain in my arm was nothing compared to the pain inside of my soul. My arm

would heal in a few days but my heart could not, because my heart failed to mend for 7 years. I took

my shirt, cleaned all the blood covered in the knife and placed it back on the box. Then squeezed the

T-shirt to my bruise. When my shirt started to soak in blood, I Realized that I would always be

trapped in this dark prison, and that I’ll always be punished for my mistakes. I’ll never be free.

Curling my jacket in to a ball to make it a pillow, I gently lay down in the dirt, and closed my eyes and I slowly drifted off to sleep.


The rays of the morning sun tickled my skin to rise up, the birds sang their good morning song, the wind blew morning kisses and the trees are calling me for breakfast. Today like every day is filled

with light and beauty but my dark, lonely soul would never rejoice.

I forced myself to a sitting position and zipped into my jacket, hiding my blood soaked t-shirt in my

jacket pocket, I checked my bruise which was covered in dried brown blood.

The cut was not deep enough to be stitched. The scars are a reminder of my failure, but they are no

match to the scars left deep inside my soul.

Going home is not an option today, because on Sundays my parents go to church. They didn’t care

much when my brother stopped going to church, they said he was grown enough to make his own

decisions, although they do invite him to church activities and talk about God.

But unlike Josh I was forced to go to church, because Josh was not Brocken like me. They think that

going to church will help me and that their God will heal me. I know they are trying to make me

better but I hate going to that place, because people in there always jabber about forgiveness and

mercy, and sing their happy little songs which makes my skin crawl. If there was a God like they say,

why didn’t he help us? help Rose? I would never be in this situation if there was a person who cared

for me above. so I decide to stay here and avoid that horrible place.

I grabbed my diary from the wooden box and wrote down my thoughts as the day went by. Hunger

never bothered me because I was well trained to survive without food for weeks when I was a child.

When the hours passed by and the sun started to set, the sound of footsteps made me alert, I

Quickly turned to the source and found the cemetery guard coming towards me. At first he didn’t

notice me, but when he was a few feet away from me he froze. Fear and shock was shown clearly in

his eyes, he immediately placed a blue paper on Rose’s grave and took off, not daring to look at me

again. I had that effect on people, one look at me and they search for the nearest exit, their fear

doesn’t bother me, because I like to be left alone and they are doing me a favor by keeping distance.

As he left, I glanced back at the blue paper he placed on Rose’s stone. When I grabbed it, I noticed

that it is an envelope. “That’s odd…. why would he leave an envelope in her grave?” I asked myself.

Curiosity made me open it and I found a blue piece of paper inside it, It was a letter written to Rose.

*Dear miss Rose, *

*My heartfelt gratitude goes out to you. I write this letter in order to express my thoughts for the *

*precious gift you’ve given me. Firstly I like to thank you for the loyal gift and it continues to *

*brighten my life every single day. I promise to cherish and protect it with my own life, I always *

*wonder where I would have been if it wasn’t for you. Although I wish to thank you in person, I’m *

*aware that it’s not possible, because our life is a short spark in this beautiful planet that flies with *

*incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. *

*I’m deeply sorry for the soul you’ve lost on this world, but I’ll be happy knowing that you are in a *

*more peaceful place and that you will be happy spending time with God. I’ve failed on my part for *

*not writing this letter to you sooner, for I did not know that the gift was from you until recently. *

*My dear little Rose, I sincerely apologize for not visiting your grave personally for I’ve been caged *

*up with work today, however I should have come despite my work , for you have done much for me *

*and I couldn’t spare a minute for you, for that I’m ashamed. *

*But soon my dear Rose I would come to visit you and I promise to find your family or anyone you *

*loved to show my gratitude for your gift to me. I’m willing to give them anything I have in my *

*power, all they have to do is ask. *

*I will see you soon my dear little Rose, for I cannot wait to visit my savior. until then rest in peace *

*my dear little one. *

*Your secret admirer J *

* *

‘Your secret admire J?’ who the hell is J? I didn’t know anyone called J, and I’m sure that Rose didn’t either or did she? and what gift is this person talking about? who is this person is it a he or a she? the letter clearly says that whoever the person honors Rose because of her gift what gift? confusion

making my headache unbearable, too many questions which needs answers, but I don’t know where

to find them.

Then I remember the letter saying that this secret admirer is searching for her family or a loved one

and that…..

oh no

That’s when it hit me.

Rose has no loved one or family.

I’m all she had left.

He or she is searching for me.

I quickly buried the box in its hiding place, said goodbye to Rose and went in search of the guard, He can give me some answers.

I found him sitting on a chair nearby the gate entrance, deeply engrossed in a book. “excuse me sir…”

I whispered, making conversations is not one of my strong points, he lifted his head from the book

and stared at me, his eyes show fear but his face shows curiosity as to why I’m talking to him. He had green hazel eyes which can charm an army of women. we stared at each other for minutes and then I

decided to break the silence. “sir are you the owner of this letter?” I ask showing the blue envelope he left in Roses stone. He glanced at the envelope and then at me, confusion clearly shown in his

eyes finally he shook his head denying. I sigh knowing that my question would not be answered soon.

“Then do you know who gave it?” again he shook his head “I don’t know who that person is, but a guy in a suit arrived few minutes ago and told me to leave that envelope in her stone”

“How did you exactly know if it was for her?” I ask considering the question, for all I know there can be dozens of people named Rose in this cemetery and that letter could be for any one of them and

not my Rose.

“The guy in the suit gave me the graves number not the name, grave 167 “ the guard said. 167 is my Roses grave but who is this person? he said in the letter that he was sorry that he couldn’t visit her, but if he hadn’t visited her how did he know her grave number? all of this is making me go crazy, I

quickly rubbed my head to decrease the pain a little but it didn’t help, the guard noticed. “are you alright miss?” he asked concerned the earlier fear he had towards me gone.

“I’m fine and Thank you” I said.

“I’m Robert by the way” he said and extended his hand, but I didn’t shake it, instead I nod once at him and walked away from the cemetery.

Who is this admirer? I thought to myself as I walked home.

One thing I do know is that I have to find him before he finds me.

*** It was past 8 in the night when I arrived home, I embraced myself for the screaming which is due to

come as soon as I walk through that door. The porch light was on, I opened the door with my spear

key and walked inside, I took quick strides towards the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and gulped

down a bottle of mineral water, the cold water soothed my dry throat, even though I can survive

weeks without food, I can’t do the same with water, I only had a small drink from the cemetery tap

for the whole day, and it was very warm today, which made my body suffer from dehydration. I

splashed some water to my face, and gulped down another water bottle, as soon as I finished it I

heard my parents coming towards the kitchen.

EVERLYN TAYLOR” mum screamed, even though I’ve been living with these people for 7 years and how much I prepare myself, I’ll never get used to her screams. I turned around and found my foster

parents looking very angry along with my brother behind them looking even more pissed off. Mum

walked towards me and cupped my shoulders which made me wince, touching is not one of my

strong points either. Noticing my reaction my mother let go of my shoulders and backed off, that’s

the thing I like most about this family, they give me space and they understand my situation, they

understand my need to be alone, so they never interfere my space, but there were times like this

when I cross the line.

I stared at my mother (Jane Taylor) and noticed that her dark hazel eyes were filled with fury, but

deep inside I could also see her pain. I stared at my dad (John Taylor) and my brother Josh and

wondered why they chose me? why did they pick me out of a whole bunch kids in that orphanage 7

years ago? and why do they still continue to bear my coldness towards them and still accept me as

their own child?

concern clearly shown in their eyes. Concern for one of their own, concern for a member of their

family, but when I see their eyes all I remember is Rose, She was my family.

She was everything to me, and I had that same concern for her like this family does to me, I loved my

little sister but I failed to protect her, so I promised myself that I’ll never attach myself to anyone again, no matter how good and compassionate this family is to me, I can’t return it, one time was

clearly enough and my heart has still not healed after losing Rose. never again, I won’t make the

same mistake again. I had no choice but to be cold towards them, even though they spend too much

to make me better, I know I’ll never be healed and one day they will too. eventually they’ll get enough and throw me away so being rude and distant is the only way to make them hate me.

“Everlyn” this time mum whispered gently.

No! kindness is not something I deserve. I quickly turned and walked away from them ignoring my


“young lady! You stop right there………….” my mum’s hard voice is back, now that’s much better, anything is better than kindness.

I turned around with a smirk on my face, which pissed her off even more. “You young lady you are in serious trouble, do you know how much we were worried when we found out this morning that you

were not there in your room?”

“why do you find this funny? it’s not a joke, you gave us quite a scare” dad said.

I didn’t reply because I want them to chase me out of this house and leave me alone but I didn’t dare


“don’t you like us? is that why you always crawl through your window every night as if your escaping a prison cell? you can at least use the door, what if something happens to you while you jump

through your window? what if someone kidnaps you and molested you? answer me!” she screamed

but I didn’t utter a word just kept staring at her.

“That’s enough mum, you know she won’t be molested or kidnapped, she’s perfectly capable of

taking care of herself, you’re the one who introduced her to martial arts remember?” Josh never

forgets to come to my rescue, he always took my side when things went haywire with my parents,

but I could never return the favor.

ANSWER ME!” OH-O…….now she has gone really wild, her eyes were cold screaming I’ll kill you if you don’t, look, but I stayed mute.

THAT’S IT! THAT IS IT! you are grounded young lady, no more escapes I’m grilling your windows, you are to never to leave this house without me, dad or Josh escorting you, Josh will take you to school

and I will pick you out of school, no more hiding in trees and abandoned old houses, you will stay in

this house or I would bring that shack down you hear me?” for a moment I froze she won’t do that

would she? confusion must have clearly shown in my face because she asked “ why my dear you

think I can’t do it?

“in fact I could and I would not hesitate, you disobey me and I will burn down that house with my own hands!” she screamed and I frowned at her. How dare she give me orders. Grounded? That’s not

something these people do, they never ground us, maybe I really did cross the line this time but I just wish they would just sent me away than Ground me.

I stormed out of the Kitchen not daring to look at any of them because I was furious and all I want to do is strangle someone.

“and you’re not allowed to go to the cemetery as well” she screamed from the kitchen when I

reached the stairs.

JANE THAT’S ENOUGH” dad screamed.

“Mother how could you say something like that” Josh asked.

WHAT? not allowed to see Rose, How dare she say that to me, I can visit my sister whenever I want,

she won’t have a say in that and she can burn down that house for all I care.

I stormed to my bedroom and banged the door shut, anger flowing through my veins, I need to

release it, or I would do something stupid like strangle my mum to death. so I started to punch the

wall forgetting that my punching sack is in my closet, I didn’t care I just wanted to release my anger, even though I’m capable of hitting someone to death, I would not use my abilities against the

innocent, and I know my mum set those rules because she cared, but that doesn’t give her the right

to stop me from visiting Rose, I though they understood, but like all the others they failed to do that too.

My knuckle hurt from the beatings and my skin has peeled off from my fingers, which made my hand

start to bleed, but I didn’t want to stop, when I was just going to try my next punch, Josh grabbed my wrist. “enough! now… you don’t want more disgusting ground rules now don’t you?” he said taking off his t-shirt and wrapping it gently around my bleeding hand. Reminding me that he’s always there

to care for my bruises, he always did, whenever I show up home beaten badly and bruised Josh was

the one who took care of my wounds, telling me that he’ll always be there for me.

His affection and protection towards me again reminds me of my affection to Rose, he will be

devastated just like me if he fails to protect me like I failed to protect Rose, and I don’t want that to happen, even though I rarely speak to him, I didn’t like to disappoint him, so I planned to stay away

from him too.

He took a strand of my hair which was covering my face and tucked it behind my ear “she didn’t

mean it back there, of you not going to see Rose, she was just furious with you, do you understand?”

I nod.

“and can you blame her?” I shook my head, He’s right I can’t blame her for she’s just trying to help me.

“so you listen to her alright? you know she can’t follow that ground rules thing for long, she might even forget it tomorrow”

“and please stop hurting yourself like this, because you’ll only encourage her” he said with a smirk.

I glanced at my dressing table and found a plate with sandwiches wrapped in a plastic wrapper “I

know that you haven’t eaten since Friday” I smiled at him, he always knew what to do.

“don’t flatter yourself, I’m doing you a favor, you need that energy for school tomorrow” he said messing up my hair.

“now go eat and get some rest, I’ll drop you off tomorrow” he said kissing my forehead which made me wince.

“any more bruises?” he asked nodding at my injured hand which was covered in his shirt. I ,

“ okay then….. you go and rest and remember take small bites and swallow slowly otherwise you’ll choke” I nod.

“no more bruises Everlyn and I mean it! no more… alright?” he said with a firm tone and I nod again.

“ good” he said shutting the door behind him.

Josh was the brother I always wanted but never could have because I don’t want him to be shook my

head, not daring to tell him about the cut in my forearm.

“you sure?” he asked not taking my lies, he always knew how to read me. I shook my head again like me, a freak, a Brocken girl who cannot be fixed, a looser and a sister who still can’t let go of her past.


Chapter 02

The morning light braced my skin through the curtain. Grabbing the pillow, I covered my face from the light, “Everlyn your going to be late…. get up now!” I heard my mother’s voice coming from downstairs.


I hate going to that place.

I grabbed myself to a sitting position and reached for the glass of water from my nightstand which

was a wrong move because the next thing I know is me, face down on the floor. The glass was far

away and needed a good distance in order to reach it. I soon lost balance and BAM! I’m on the floor

wincing in pain.

I just wanted to lie down on my bed and sleep the whole day off, but I know it’s not possible since I’m grounded from yesterday. I wait a couple of minutes until the pain subsides a little and stand on my

heels again. My limbs started to burn, I expected this to happen since I was exhausted and only had

one sandwich for two whole days, but expecting didn’t make the pain any less bearable, but I know

I’ll manage, I always have.

I take small strides towards the bathroom and gasped when I saw myself on the mirror. I quickly

looked away disgusted with my own reflection. I look like a plane ghost, my eyes were blood red, my

hair tangled in a horrible mess, my skin paler and my bones are visible through my skin.

I quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth, wore my school uniform and slowly climbed down the


Mum was making pancakes and Josh was setting the table when I reached the kitchen. “Good

morning…. my little angel, what took you so long?” I cringed at the endearment, Josh noticed my reaction “ready to go?” I nod my head in rapid speed ready to get out of this house, the sooner the better.

“your not to leave this house until you finish your breakfast, only God knows when you’ve last ate”

she said tossing a whole bunch of pancakes in what I assume is my plate. I groaned, eating all of that at once would be pure hell.

MUM! she can’t eat all of that!” Josh screamed, knowing very well that it’s not good to eat too much at once when you had an empty stomach for a long time, mum knew it too but I think this is another

one her punishments.

“Of course she can eat all of that, If she wants to go to school today she’ll eat all of it, she needs energy and I’m doing her a favor, I mean look at her she looks like a ghost” she said poring syrup on my plate.

Definitely a punishment.

MOM I can’t believe you just said that” Josh is pissed off now, I could see pure rage in his eyes, he never get furious with his mother and it irritates me more that I’ve caused this.

“I did say it, and it’s the truth now if you want to go to school, You will eat all of this and after that I’ll fix your hair”

“But-” Josh tried again for my defense.

“No buts Josh, this is between me and Everlyn and you will stay out of this, you hear me? I had the same talk with your father and he promised not to interfere, and you will do the same alright” she said in a firm tone.

She glanced back at me “now go eat, you don’t want to miss school now don’t you honey?” I fist my hand and nod, I hated this new mum, I hated that I created her and now I have to suffer my own

doing. I sat on the chair and started to gulp down the pancakes.

“This is madness” Josh said while marching out of the kitchen, he’s as mad as I am.

Mum didn’t speak again keeping herself busy in the kitchen counter and I kept swallowing those

horrible pancakes and as soon as I finished the last piece, I swore that I wouldn’t even dare to look at a pancake again, ever.

I cleaned my plate and stuffed it in the dish washer when mum walked into the kitchen with some

hair pins and a hair brush. I groaned, this is pure torture first she lets me eat horrid pancakes and

now she’s going to fix my hair.

“sit down” she pointed to a chair near the kitchen counter. I do as I’m told not daring to argue but my inside voice was screaming at her ‘DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!”

she removed my hair tie and slowly started brushing my hair, she untangled the knots which made

me wince in pain.

“your hair smells good, did you wash your hair last night?” I nod.

“I’ve told you so many times not to take showers at night, it’s not good for your health Everlyn Don’t do it again”

I had mud on my hair after sleeping in the cemetery with Rose and decided to wash it off last night,

which was a good decision now that I think about it because it was better her finding out that I took a shower at night than finding mud on my hair while she brushes it down, she braids my hair and

clipped it with hair pins.

She finished the braid and stroked my hair a bit more “Everlyn I’m sorry about what I said last night about you not allowed to visit Rose, I didn’t mean that. But I’m not apologizing for the other things I said, your still grounded” I huffed and stood on my heels and started to reach the living in order to take my bag pack when my mum blocked my exit by leaning her hand on the refrigerator, I had


a. I can crawl under her arm and exit

b. I can snatch away her hand easily because she’s not holding anything else and I can easily make

her fall to the floor by losing her balance because she was leaning all her weight on the refrigerator through her hand. If I snatch it away, she would be face down on the ground.

c. I can just stay patiently and listen to what she has to say.


d. just scream and beat her to death.

I chose C to listen to what she has to say, because even though I’m dark, I’ll never hurt her physically because the emotional pain she gains from me is enough and I don’t want to hurt her because from

her point of view she’s not wrong.

“Everlyn I know it has been hard for you and that you like stay with this whole mute, no touching and cold scene, but it isn’t helping you” she said taking away the hand so I can leave if I want but I don’t move a step I decided to stay and listen.

“none of this is helping you, I don’t mind you escaping through windows to meet guys, cut classes and play games with your friends, go shopping and give your dad so many credit card bills, but the

problem is you not doing any of those stuff people your age do, I don’t like to see you weak with no

food, bruised with blood and sometimes when you’re not there I fear that I might not see you again,

that something might have happened to you Everlyn, I’m done seeing you this way and I know it’s not

helping you by just letting you be, because you’ll grow more worse” she said stroking my hair again.

“I love you Everlyn and that’s why I’ve decided to change my ways with how I’m dealing you, it might be rash sometimes but I’ll do anything to see a smile on your face, so you will try harder or it will be hard on you like this morning”

“I know your stubborn and I’ll never understand the pain you’ve endured and it must be terrible for you to be like this for years so believe it or not I’m helping you.”

“you can visit your sisters grave anytime you want to because I understand your need to see her, she was your family you loved her, but Everlyn sometimes things happen and we need to move on letting

the past go, it can be painful, but you need to just let go” she pat my head again and left the kitchen with tears gliding down her cheeks.

I know what she told was the truth that I need to let go, but I can’t I just can’t do it, I just can’t let her go.

‘oh…Ro what do I do?’ I blink away my tears which were forming in my eyelids and went to grab my


*** “The hair style suits you” Josh said finally breaking the silence in the car ride to school, he didn’t utter a word after I climbed in his car.

I shrugged not really caring how it looked like.

“how is your hand” he asked.

_“fine” _ I signed him

“I’m sorry about mum” he said.

I nod in understanding, it’s not his fault.

He parked the car in the school parking lot and glanced at me “no matter what happens I’m always

there for you, always, you know that right?” he asked

I nod he didn’t have to say it because he has proved it to me my staying by my side always. “good now if you need anything you give me a call or drop me a text alright, no matter how busy I’m with

work I’ll come alright?” I nod again, he’s an audit guy who works for one of the most top successful companies in the country ‘Stark enterprises, they are a huge firm which sell condoms, sanitary items,

cotton collections, lingering wear and etc. this firm has branches worldwide and as soon as Josh

applied for the job he was called in the next day, which was not that surprising because he was

talented and smart.

“good now get out of my car squirt or you’ll make me late for work” he says patting my head, I roll my eyes at him grabbed my bag and got of his Honda SUV.

“Remember to stay cool” he said fist bumping my ‘not’ injured hand and drove out of the parking lot.

I took a huge breathe and walked towards the school building. the school hall was bursting with kids

walking towards their classes, friends hanging outside their classes to catch up the latest gossip, jocks talking about their latest sports and latest matches or practice, geeks talking about their latest AP

classes, players ogling on the latest hot chic, and bitches who think they’re the beauty queens of the universe, and do what they do best ‘being an A grade bitch.

While these awful people manage to be busy with their nonsense, they start to stare while I passes

by them, I don’t look but I know all of their eyes are on me and I hate being the center of their

attention. I know all of them talk behind my back about how weird I am, and bitch about my hairstyle

or make jokes about me being deaf and Dum. They all believe that I can’t talk because I’ve not

uttered a single word in this building. I communicate either through sign language or facial

expressions and sometimes I just plane ignore them.

They all forgot that I was not like this before, I used to talk, smile and have friends. But I’m glad about it because that kid 7 years ago died leaving this dark creature behind. Some of them fear me because

of my skills. I have a black belt in Karate and taekwondo, brown in Judo and a meddler in boxing all of them are a good reason for them to stay away from me, all of them except one.

“Hey Frankenstein I like your new hair style” I groaned, why can’t she just leave me alone like the rest. Alicia a tall blond brown eyed girl who never leaves me alone tapped my shoulder, I turned

around and glared at her like I always do but she doesn’t even flinch but gave a wide toothy smile

which made me hate her even more.

“can you teach me how to do it? so I can braid my hair like yours tomorrow because then we would

look like sisters” I rolled my eyes at her and walked towards my class which was unfortunately

Alicia’s class too, we both had Chemistry and history together and she always took the seat next to

me no matter how many times I showed her that I don’t like her.

She’s just like a rash you can’t get rid off. The most annoying part is her nonstop chatter box, and her smile that gets on my nerves.

Just like me Alicia was also found weird by the rest of the school, but unlike me they bully her, talk mean to her in front of her face and prank whenever she’s around. But none of these things offend

her, when someone calls her by some wicked name she just smiles at that person, and whenever

someone does something mean to her like throw her books in the trash she just says “Thank you so

much for throwing it for me, I already hated that book”

she is just happy all the time and it irritates me.

I took my usual seat on the back of the class and as always Alicia sat next to me. She began to talk

about how she spent her weekend and I started to ignore her like I always do.

“oh…. by the way what happened to your hand?” she asked me and I ignore that too.

“Good morning class” Mr. Reynolds our chemistry teacher greeted us.

“I’ve decided to conduct group assignments this week to top up your average” He passed down some sheets to the class.

“each student should complete the assignment given in the paper I just gave you with a partner and hand it over to me over the end of this week after you’ve finished it” he said

OMG we can be lab partners!” Alicia squalled beside me. Before I could dread the moment of Alicia being my partner. Mr.Raynolds told us that he is assigning partners this time because everyone will

choose their friends and not pay attention to the task given. “this assignment is important because it will help increase your average and help you graduate.” everyone groaned.

Everyone hated their new partner when Mr.Raynolds assigned them, I just kept wishing mine would

not be Alicia and thankfully Alicia was partnered with Sophia. “well better luck next time” Alicia said and went to sit next her partner.

Everyone got their partners and the ones who were left was me and a Jock. He was tall masculine,

with short trimmed dark brown hair and gray eyes. I’ve seen him around school often. He was a

team quarterback, and every girl made goo goo eyes at him, well not me he left me alone and I’m

glad with that.

“Well Eric looks like you’ll be left with Everlyn” Mr.Raynolds said, everyone gave him a apologizing stare when he made his way towards me, even Mr. Reynolds felt sorry for him, because Eric was a

good grade student and if I messed up, he will lose his marks too. Well I felt sorry for him too who

would want to be partnered with a girl who doesn’t even talk?

He took the seat next to me “Hi I’m Eric” He said extending his hand, I just ignore it and nod. The class ended with both of us staying silent the whole time, and as soon as the bell rang he jerked out

of his seat and found the exit sooner.

Alicia came to my side when I reached the next class “you are some lucky girl Everlyn…. out of all the others you got the hot one” I shrugged not really caring.

“maybe he’ll ask you out when you two work together” I snorted I’m sure he will in her dreams.

“Why you think that’s not possible?” she asked. Of course it’s not possible, why can’t she just get out of her La La Land.

“well you underestimate yourself, your beautiful Everlyn I’m sure he or someone else will ask you out one of these days” she said and I rolled my eyes at her. I’m not interested in anyone and I like to keep it that way.

*** When the lunch bell rang everyone ran to the cafeteria to either meet their friends or take their lunch, I never go inside that place it’s full of chaos and I have a problem with huge crowds and

confined spaces.

So instead of walking towards the cafeteria I exited the building and walked towards the school

grounds. There’s a huge oak tree beside the grounds and I climb it. This is my favorite place from the whole school, I sit on the strongest branch and wrap my arms around the trunk holding it tight. This

tree gives me freedom, sometimes when I glance at the ground or the valley behind the school walls,

I wonder if I would be happy I f I was a tree like this?

“Hey” I heard someone’s voice scream under the tree, I look down and found Eric standing there.

“Can I come up?” I narrowed my eyes at him. No! I don’t want you to come up, Just leave me alone I wanted to say but I stayed silent.

Either he didn’t see my glare or he just plain ignored because the next thing I know, he’s climbing up the tree and sitting on the opposite branch beside me. I raced my eyebrows at him, what does he

want? but he didn’t notice that either because he was staring at the far beyond valleys.

“This place is amazing how come I’ve not seen this place before?” he asked still staring at the distance. He didn’t see it because of the same reason other students didn’t, they never pay attention

to the things that really matter because they are too busy talking gossip and other nonsense.

“they are wrong you know” he said looking at me.

who? wrong about what?

“every student inside, they think that you’re a crazy person who can’t stand people but they are

wrong” no they are definitely correct, I’m crazy and I definitely can’t stand people I told myself.

“I can see why you stay here than go inside, it’s not because you’re crazy, you just like to be left alone” I looked back at him, what’s he doing here? what does he want?

“The only thing I don’t understand is why?” he said looking at me.

“I mean you act like you’re the most viscous person in the world, but when I look at you now all I see is……..” he takes a huge sigh and doesn’t continue. see as what? a Brocken girl who cannot be fixed?

this is why I hate communicating with people, they see right through me and find that I’m venerable.

“look I came to ask if you would like to hang out at my place after school?” the question took me off balance that I had to clutch the tree trunk to avoid falling on my face. what? he wants to hang out? is he out of his mind?

“we need to work on that assignment because we are graduating in a few months and I need that

grade” oh….. the assignment.

“so I thought maybe we could work out on the project at my place… what do you say?“his eyes were filled with excitement.

I considered my options.

If I went with him,

I will be violating my number 1 rule of not getting attached to anyone, next thing he’ll be asking is friendship.

I can pretend to show my mum that I’m socializing so that she’ll ungrounded me and leave me alone.

I decide to go with him because he needs his grade and I need my mum off my back, we are doing us

both favors and as soon as we are done I have nothing to do with him.

“we can go somewhere else if you don’t want to go to my house” he said.

I shook my head and pointed at him telling him I’ll go to his place.

"Okay my place-

EVERLYN!” oh wonderful…. just what I needed Alicia the great. why can’t these people just leave me alone? I rolled my eyes and gently climbed down the tree.

As soon as I reached the ground Alicia came and embraced me in a hug, which made me stand still

like a statue. one more thing I hate about her is her hugs and kisses, she just goes around hugging

people without their consent. I pushed her away from me and raised my eyebrows at her.

"I brought you a sandwich because I know when you are up there you forget to- she stopped when

she looked up the tree, I glanced at the direction she was looking and found Eric climbing down the


“oh… I didn’t know you had company” she said in a sad tone. what? why was she sad?

“Hello there I’m Alicia” the sadness which was shown clearly in her eyes was gone in a instant replaced with a happy old self, she might have fooled anyone with her happy smiles but I saw the

sorrow in her eyes, One thing I’m good at is reading people’s emotions, I can look at their eyes and

know what their feeling and right now something is bothering her and she’s trying to cover it up.

“Hi I know…… I mean…… I know who you are…” he said stroking his hair, is that a nervous reaction?

why is he nervous with Alicia?

“oh… alright” Alicia looked back at me and saw that her cheeks have gone red. “Everlyn I came to give you this” she passed me a sandwich wrapped in a plastic wrapper. “I didn’t mean to disturb you guys”

“no you were not disturbing…. I mean… I was just asking her if she would like to hang out after school at my place to…

_’To work on the chemistry project’ _ I told her through sign language. Alicia knew how to read sign language another reason why she keeps following me because she can understand what I’m saying.

“oh” she said “that’s cool…. can I join you?” she said with excitement. I know she is the last person I want to spend my time with but if she came with us, she’ll keep him busy with her chatter box and

that will be good for me, because then he’ll leave me alone. I looked at Eric and raised my eyebrows,

asking him if she’s invited.

“of course… you.. can…join.. us” why is he stalling?

AWSOME” Alicia squalled and fist bumped the sky.

I rolled my eyes at her ‘ [_can you tell him to ask my mum for permission?” _] I told Alicia using sign language.

“you want me to ask your mum?” Both me and Alicia stared at him in shock.

“what? I read sign language since I was three. my granny was deaf and dumb so I was taught sign

language to communicate with her” I groaned, just what I need another person who reads my

language, I’ll have to work harder to keep him away from me.

“wow…“Alicia still had her jaw wide open in shock,

‘ [_so can you ask my mother or not? she picks me up after school” _] I signed Eric.

“sure I’ll ask… so we meet after school at the parking lot?” I nod.

“yah we’ll be there” Alicia said.

“Alright see you later ladies” he said and walked away.

“This is the best day EVER” Alicia said and I narrowed my eyes at her.

“What?” she asked seeing my reaction.

“Isn’t it the best day first you get a hot jock as your chemistry partner now he’s asking you to hang out with him in his house, how much better could this day get” why does any of this make her so

happy when all I feel is dread I’ll never understand her.

“come on now let’s go inside oh and finish that sandwich, you don’t want to faint in front of him now do you?” she said intertwining her hands with mine, she knows that I don’t like it, but she does it anyway, I tried to push it off, but she had a firm grip so I gave up, because I’m tired.

As we both head out towards class, I thought about how my day has turned out to be, and wish that

it won’t get any worse, but none of us knew what the future held for us, I learned that the hard way.


Alicia and I sat on the parking lot bench waiting for Eric and my mother.

“do you think he bailed on us?” Alicia asked nervously biting her nails, I rolled my eyes if he did I’ll be singing praises.

A car honked and both me and Alicia looked at its direction to find mums car on the parking lot.

I stood and motioned Alicia to follow me “don’t you think we should wait for Eric before we tell your mother Everlyn?”

I ignored her and walked towards mum’s SUV. “How was your day sweetie?” I’ll never get used to endearments, it always gave me Goosebumps.

‘They’ used those words of compassion when they tortured us 7 years ago, those two monsters, they used endearments when they abused me and Rose. The last word my sister heard was that terrible

word ‘sweetie’ when they choked her to death. The cold memories make me furious and I fist my

hands in rage, all I want to do now is punch something.


‘ _it was fine’ _ I signed.

“Hello Miss Taylor “ Alicia said.

“Hi Alicia how are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine Miss Taylor” Mum and Alicia met each other on the school open day, Because Alicia always stood sticked to my side, Both of them bonded well and Alicia was invited to every function

held in our household because mum thinks Alicia is my friend.

"Miss Taylor Both me and Everlyn were invited-

“sorry I’m late…. got caught up….. with…. the football mates” Eric said in between breaths, he definitely must have run in order to catch up to us.

I saw my mother’s eyes go wide when she saw Eric “well hello……….. Everlyn who’s your new

friend?” OH NO! not another guest included to our thanksgiving dinners and new year parties.

“this is Eric miss Taylor… Everlyn’s new chemistry partner, he invited both of us to his house” Alicia said.

I saw my mother’s eyes lit up and groaned…. this is so not happening to me.

“Is that so?” my mum asked.

“Yes maam” he said still out of breathe.

‘ _we are just going to work on our chemistry project mother’ _ I signed.

“Do you guys need a ride?” mum asked. Eric shook his head.

“I can take them in my car maam” he said.

“Okay then have fun honey, call me when you’re done and I’ll come to pick you alright?” I nod and she pulled out of the parking lot with a huge wide smile on her face. what did I get myself into?

“Okay ladies you wait here until I go fetch our ride okay?” Eric asked and both of us nod. I looked at Alicia when Eric left, wondering what’s bothering her because she had that distant look in her eyes


‘ [_are you all right?’ _] I signed to her. she didn’t see me signing because she was deep in her own thoughts. I poked her hand and signed again asking if she’s alright. She just shrugs her shoulders and gives me that awful smile. She’s good at pretending but I know she’s hiding her pain, but I decided to let it go because

a. she’s not my friend even if she thinks she is.

b. I don’t care about her

c. I don’t want to be involved in her problems when I’m having a tough time dealing mine.

Sometimes I wonder how I became this rude ugly creature, I was not like this before, I used To be like Alicia wild, happy and care free, even if I lived in an abusive household I was still happy because I had Rose, She was my sunshine and when I lost her, I lost a part of myself too. The good part of me lost

leaving behind this lifeless creature.

A red Austin martin pulled up in front of us and my jaw dropped when I saw who was driving it. Eric

owned an Austin martin? a damn Austin martin? how cool is that. even though Austin martin is an

old time classic, the car looks brand new. The good thing about an Austin martin is that they have

handmade engines. I still can’t believe he owns one, because these cars were very rare and damn

expensive, it cost more than my parents salary combined.

“are you going to get in? or stand there all day?” Eric asked.

I was deep in my thoughts that I didn’t see Alicia getting in the back seat, leaving me to sit next to him on the passage seat. Damn it Alicia…. I hate you!

I cursed myself and got in the passenger seat and buckled up my seatbelt. The leather seats were

very comfy and it released an aroma which meant that the seats were brand new.

“Hang on tight ladies.. it’s going to be a long ride” he said while pulling out of the parking lot. Pride clearly shown in his voice and I don’t blame him. I would be proud myself if I owned a car like this.

The car ride was uncomfortably silent because having Alicia mute is not something I’m familiar with.

Eric turned on the radio to diffuse the tension in the vehicle and when it started to play Rock a bye

baby by Sean Paul ft Anne Maria Alicia started singing along with Eric.

“So what kind of music do you like?” Eric asked when the song ended and Alicia’s chatter box opened. Both of them got engrossed in a conversation of what music they liked and I stared at the

trees and the houses we drove by from the tinted windows.

“So what kind of music do you like Everlyn?” Eric asked me and I just shrugged.

“Oh she’s a Rock fan…. She loves cold hard Rock songs” Alicia said and I groaned this girl knows too much about me and I don’t even know her last name.

“Really?” Eric asked and I nod.

I started to hate pleasant music long time ago so I got addicted to hard Rock which doesn’t have any

sweet melodies or lyrics, It’s just music which helps me increase my rage.

“I’m not allowed to listen to Rock my parents think that music comes from the devil” Eric said.

Yes that is exactly why I listen to it, because it matches my soul.

“Everlyn’s mother doesn’t like the music too, once she even threw away her IPod, screaming’ I will not have you listening to that dare devil chants you called music’ and the next thing Everlyn does is

play it louder on her home studio with a volume which made her neighbors call in the police for

disturbing the peace and quietness of the neighborhood” Eric and Alicia laughed louder.

I smiled at the memory it was 2 years ago and mum had to bake pies for the neighbors to get their good graces. She was mad at me then but she never grounded me.

“So you’re the Rebel in the house?” Eric asked looking at me.

‘ _one and only’ _ I signed and they both started laughing again. It was the truth Josh was never like me, he was the good son my parents always thankful to have.

“I’m beginning to like you more and more as the day goes by” Eric said. I cursed myself for making him like me, No one should like me because I don’t want them too.

“What’s not to like? she’s the most awesome person I’ve ever known” and you are the most

annoying person I can’t ever get rid of Alicia! I told myself.

Eric stopped the car in front of a hugemongoes gate and pressed a button from a box which was

fixed to the wall near the gate “Maxwell residence who is this?” a deep voice came through the box.

“It’s me Sam open the gate” Eric replied and the gate opened revealing a long pathway with pine trees lined up in both sides, Eric drives through the pathway which is 4 or 5 KM.

At the end of the road we came through a very big fountain followed by the biggest house I’ve ever

seen in my life.

When I saw Eric’s Austin martin I knew he must be rich but now when I see his house (If you could

even call this place a house because it looks like a mansion) I know he’s not just Rich, He’s Damn

Stinking Rich.

He pulled up in front of the entrance and cut the engine. He came around to open the car door for

me but I got down before he could reach it so he opened Alicia’s and reached for her hand, She took

it and blushed A dark beet Red and I narrowed my eyes.

“You are such a gentlemen Thank you Eric” She said still blushing.

Seriously? Just because a guy opens a car door for you, he becomes a gentlemen?

Oh Jeez wake up Alicia, your given two hands to do things yourself, you don’t need a guy to depend

yourself on.

A gentlemen? she doesn’t even know how much insulting that statement is for people like me, who

manages to fight for life on their own without depending on others but I don’t hear them calling me a

gentlemen? All they see is a Brocken girl, but when guy opens a door for a girl that’s highly praised, How insulting…..

Three of us climbed the stairs that led to a huge double doors which was wide open. A tall lean old

women with white hair greeted us with a wide toothy smile.

“He’s home isn’t he?” Eric asked the old women, who I assume must be the maid because she was wearing a blue gown with an apron wrapped around her waist, a suit which only a maid would wear

not a mistress.

The old women nod her head ‘yes master Eric, he is home’ Eric groaned

“Monica these two ladies are my friends and they would staying in my room for a few hours to work on a school project, tell him if he asks where I am and please bring some snacks to the room” the old women nods her head again

“and can you bring some of those gee biscuits you made yesterday?” Eric asked with glee, and the women smiled. “of course master Eric, I would bring them to your room”

Eric narrowed his eyes “how many times have I told you not to call me that Monica?”

"But master-

“I don’t care what he thinks, you call me Eric understand?” The women nods and walks away. Eric sighed and glanced back at us.

‘ [_who’s ‘he?’ _] I signed him. He just shrugs his shoulders “no one you should know” he mumbled and I narrowed my eyes at him. Who is this person Eric clearly hates? but I decided not to ask him again

because it’s none of my business.

“This way ladies” Eric motioned us towards the huge spiral stairs.

The roof had a huge chandelier and as we reached the second floor we came across a narrow hallway

which led to a huge media room with a wide size screen and a home theatre with game stations and

what not. there were two sofas to the left and a huge door to the right which led to another hallway

with so many doors to the sides. I’ve seen places like these in movies people can get lost in this

mansion and not be found for days. I wonder if they have dungeons and secret passages here that

would be awesome!

There were paintings hanged on the wall but not a single photo of Eric. Back at my place mum used

to hang every picture Josh’s graduation, picnics, birthdays, family outings, Christmas, new years and

every occasion we spend time together as a family is hanged in our house walls, she says that “every picture is a treasured memory that we should share with others” I thought she was crazy before but now when I see the walls of this house and no pictures at all, I wonder if Eric’s life is like these walls Empty, with no memories to share with others. But then again why should I care about his life? It’s

entirely his problem not mine.

Eric opened a door and led us to what I assume is his room, unlike the rest of the house this place

looked homey, a basket ball ring, trophy case, study desk with a laptop, closet, a wide screen

television and a lot of pictures hanging on the wall which I didn’t pay much attention too because the huge bookcase near the window caught my eye. There were about millions of books in it and

scanned the titles most of the books were study related economics, chemistry, biology, anatomy,

history novels and some of the classics like Moby dick, adventures of huckleberry fin etc.

“So…. do you guys want anything to drink?”

“what do you have?” Alicia asked.

Eric walked in to the side of the room near the king size bed and opened a large door which as

attached to the wall and like magic it turns out to be a refrigerator with bottles of sodas, fruits,cakes and what not stuffed inside it, "well I have ginger ale, soda, beer,magarita, coke-

“i’ll have a coke please” Alicia said.

“okay……and what about you Everlyn?” he asked.

“ _Water would be fine” _ I signed him. He noded and grabbed two cans of coke and a minaral water bottle.

“This place is amazing” Alicia said “you are so…. lucky to have all of this” she motioned towards his room.

“nah…… I wouldn’t call myself lucky” Eric said.

“why? i mean you have a refrigerator inside your own room… how cool is that?” Alicia said with full enthusiasm.

“Can we get started?“Eric asked avoiding Alicia’s comment.

Both me and Alicia nod our heads and we got to work. Even though Alicia was not our partner she

helped us by giving ideas that she thought of using on her own project.

For two hours all three of us discussed on what reaction to use, What chemicals would be helpful and

what meathod we should test it. Monica brought snacks while we were discusiing, she looked up at

me and smiled, but I don’t return it,instead I just frown at her.

Eric was smart I have no doubt about it, but Alicia Was a Geniusn and although I have no problems

with my grades and I know what they are talking about, I just don’t interfear, I just nod my head and

listen to what they say.

Two hours were spent this way With Boring Chemistry.

Eric streched both his hands “So shall we stop for today?” he asked me and I nod. All I want now is a hot bath and some shut eye. I need to go home soon because I’m still exuasted from morning, thanks

to those horrid pancakes.

“ [_do you have any aspirins in here?” _] I asked him because the headache is becoming unbearable.

“yah there might be some pills in the other room but…..” He started scraching his head.

“but what?” Alicia asked.

“I…ah…don’t….ah….go to that room”

“why is it haunted?” Alicia asked.

“what? no.. no no it’s not that, it’s just…complicated” he said.

“Everlyn are you alright?” She asked me because I cupped my head in my hands panting, the head ache suddenly increasing.

“you need to get some of those pills! she dosen’t look good” Alicia said coming towards me but I stopped her by raising my hand, she’ll make the pain even more worse.

“I’ll tell Monica to find some” he said

“or you could just walk in to the next room and just grab some yourself, I mean seriously how hard could it be?” Alicia said.

“I told you! I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THAT ROOM” he screamed

WHY THE HELL NOT?“she screamed back

They started to argue together, their screams increasing making my headache worse, so I walked out

of the room. They didn’t even notice me walking away.

I went to grab the pills myself because I don’t need their help, I can do things my own, i don’t need


I reached the next room, and as soon as I touched the door knob the door opend itself “MONICA!

Who the hell is screaming in my-

He stopped when He saw me, and I gasped.

Blue Eyes….. those blue eyes again.

The man I accidently fell on top of in front of my neighhbors gate, the man who strocked my hair and

I kicked his knee, the same man who has similar eyes like my Rose, was standing right in front of me

wearing a dark tailored suit, staring at me with his beautiful Blue hazel eyes which were dancing with curiosity and all I wanted to do was touch them.

But unfortunately for him The the next thing I did was fall down to the floor, and Throw up on his

shiny tailored shoes “JESUS” he screamed. It all happened in a blink of an eye. I didn’t mean to throw up on him perposely but it just happened and now i’m embarrased.

WHAT THE HELL” he screamed again, he pulled me up on my heels in a instant.

I expected him to yell at me or swear again but he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled

me inside the room, I obliged because i’m still tired and in pain, He motioned for me to sit on the bed and I do as i’m told in shame. Shame? that’s something I never feel, I’m never shamefull. But who

wouldn’t feel shame if you throw up on a strangers shoe? and a expensive one at that.

He walked away, I wiped my mouth with the sleeves of my uniform and buried my head bitween my

knees, panting and wishing that the pain would just go away. I had migrane since I was 5, and lack of

sleep and food would double it’s pain.

I heard noises inside the room but couldn’t concentrate on what it was, then I felt someone stroke

my hair and I quickly jerked my head up, which made me groan in pain.

“easy now” he said in a soothing voice. My visions became a blur and I closed my eyes.

“Here drink this….” he passed me down a glass which was cold, I brought it close to my mouth and sipped a little and relaxed when I found it was water, I quickly gulped it down and passed it to him,

my eyes were still closed so I couldn’t see what he was doing.

He gently pulled out all the hair which had loosened its hold from my braid and pushed it behind my

ear. He placed one of his palms on my temples and gasped. “my dear….. you are burning” he said and quickly walked away, I still didn’t have the strength to opene my eyes.

A minute later I felt him beside me, he grabbed my hand and past down some pills.. aspirin?

“Drink this, it’s some pain killers it’ll ease the head ache” I do as I’m told and I gulp down the glass of water he gave.

“open your mouth” I frowned. why would I do that?

“Trust me” I trust no one, I wanted to scream at him but I didn’t have the strength, so I do as I’m told.

I felt something soft on my tongue “chew it slowly, it’ll make you bettter I promise”

Again I do as I’m told.

It was the most discusting thing i’ve ever tasted and I wanted to throw up again.

“It’s bitter but it will make you better” he said gently pushing me towards the mattress, I tried to fight him, but his grip was strong. “Lay down you need to rest” I’ve never felt so helpless.

I can feel him take off my shoes and cover me with a comferter. I wanted to fight, I wanted to feel

strong again, I hate being weak.

He started strocking my hair again, it was comforting and very gentle, slowly I drifted off to sleep.


“come and catch me?” her brown locks danced in the wind as she ran, I tried to catch her but she’s _faster than me. _

_“slow down Ro….. you are too fast” I screamed to her, but she didn’t stop, she never stops. _

“you are too slow Eve, you need to learn to run faster or you’ll never catch me” She sang through her [_angelic soft voice.she ran through the beautiful red and white carnations which blosomed yesterday. _]

_“I’m tired” I said still chasing her. _

_“Don’t give up Eve…. “ so I kept chasing her. _

Finally after endless running and chasing I did catch her and I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and swirled her around in circles. “I did it Ro! I did it” and we both collapsed to the soft grass _laughing. I looked up at the deep blue sky and took deep breaths. _

Rose rested her head on her elbow and stared down at me with a wide smile which always lit my day, [_Her beutiful deep brown eyes filled with joy. _]

“I did it Ro” I said again “I can’t beleive I did it” she was always the fast one, her speed was never a [_match for me, but I catched her today. _]

_“beleive it Eve …you did it and I knew you could” she said. _

I plucked a white carnation flower from the ground and clipped it behind her ear. “what will I ever do [_whithout you Ro?” I asked her gently strocking her hair. _]

_“you’ll live, I know you would” _

_“No I won’t I won’t live if you are not with me Ro” _

_“You will… I know you will because you’ll never give up, just like you did today” she said and I smiled. _

_“I love you Ro” _

_“and I love you Eve” she said and strocked my hair. _

_“never give up Everlyn…. never” she said again. _

_I nod “Never” _

[_ *** _]

_ _

Chapter 03

I felt someone strocking my hair gently and jerked my eyes open expecting to see my Rose But I

found Alicia sitting beside me strocking my head, I sigh in disapointment.

This is the first time I ever saw a dream like that of Rose, usually they were nightmares flashbacks of the nasty memories of that fateful night but not happy ones like I saw just now.

“Hey” Alicia said “you gave us quite a scare….why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

I grabbed myself to a sitting position and scanned my surroundings, this room was way different to

Eric’s room, it was bigger than Eric’s one but plain with no pictures, nothing but just a sofa,two doors which I assume is the bathrom and the closet a long study desk with a big leather chair, it dosen’t

look homy at all, instead it looks emty like the rest of the house, The only familiriarity this room had with Erics room is the wide screen, the bookcase, and the king size bed which i’m lying on.

“you know for the first time, I saw your smile”


“I was watching you the whole time you were asleep and you smiled” I did? I smiled in my sleep?

then I remembered Rose, she always made me smile.

“It was beautiful Everlyn… even though I don’t understand why you don’t do that often or if I would ever see it again, i’ll be greatful that I atleast saw it once” I looked away.

“ [_where am I? What happened?” _] I sighned changing the subject because it’s not a topic i’m comfertable with.

"You are in-

HOW MANY TIMES have I told you to inform me first before you bring someone?” It’s his voice, the blue eyed man.

“I DON’T have to tell you everything I DO” Eric shouted.

“ [_is Eric in trouble?” _] I sighned.

“I don’t know…. they were shouting at each other for the past hour” Alicia said worried.

Then everything came back to me I remember falling on to my knees and throwing up on the blue

eyed mans shoes when I went in search for antiseptics. I remember him helping me, giving me

medicine and puttting me to bed.

How did I let that happen? I promised myself that I would never show weakness in front of anyone

yet I was acting like a helpless creature in front of him, and I slept in a total strangers bed?

unbeleivable, I really need to get out of here before I do something more stupid . _ _

[_“what time is it?” _] I sighned Alicia. _ _

she grabbed her phone and checked the time “half past four” she said. _ “ _

[_“do you have my mums number?” _] she nod her head _“call her and tell her to pick us up” _ I sighned her and got off the bed.

I wore my shoes and went in search for them but got lost twice by taking the wrong turn, in the end

the sounds of their screaming helped me find my way towards the huge living room. I found Eric

sitting on the sofa engrossed in a magazine ignoring the blue eyed man’s screaming as soon as they

heard me enter the room, both of them looked up at me.

Eric quickly jerked out of the sofa towards me, he throwed away the magazine he was holding and

embraced me in a hug. I stiffned.

what the hell?

“I’m so… sorry Everlyn, It’s all my fault” what is he talking about?

“I should have asked you how you felt, I should have given you that damn pills, instead you had to deal with that monster” what is he talking about? what monster? “i’m sorry Everlyn…..I’m really sorry” he said tugging me even closer and I winced. Please let him stop touching me.

“Eric… let the poor girl go.. she’s sick and you wouldn’t even give her space to breathe” the blue eyed man said and I mentally thanked him because Eric let me go.

“i’m sorry…. did I hurt you?“Eric asked and I shook my head.

“who is she Eric? what is she doing in my house?” the blue eyed man asked staring at me. I frowned at Eric. His house? who is he? he looks to young to be Erics father.

“Everlyn the asshole standing right there is the owner of this house” Eric said pointing at the blue eyed man. I’m confused who is he?

The blue eyed man slapped Erics head “mind your language young man” He came towards me, “I’m sorry….. don’t mind him, circamstances has made him cruel”

“The only reason why I’m cruel is you” Eric said.

“shut up Eric“The blue eyed man said and extended his hand towards me.

“I’m Blake Maxwell…. Erics brother” his gaze locked with mine and before I knew what i’m doing I placed my hands with his and shook hands with someone for the first time in my life.

I don’t know why I did it, but his beautiful eyes were exilerating and all I want to do was touch him.

What’s happening to me?

Eric grabbed the hand I was holding with Blake and pulled me towards him “don’t touch her you

bastard” Blake was pissed his eyes were dark but I could see the hurt in his gaze.

Why is Eric mad at him, why is he hurting his own brother? I really need to get out of here.

“who is she?”

“Everlyn Taylor” Alicia said behind me and I groaned he dosen’t need to know that “She’s Erics chemistry partner… we were working on the assignment Mr. Raynolds our chemistry teacher

assigned us to do-

“He dosent need to know that” Eric cut in

"Yes he does, we were working and then Everlyn got sick-

ENOUGH!” Eric screamed and Alicia pursed her lips in shock.

“Taylor? are you by some chance related to Josh taylor? Blake asked me.

I nod “ _he’s my step brother” _ I sighned him and his eyes went wide. Why is he shocked? is it because Josh is my brother or is it because I used sighned language instead of speaking?

“can’t you speak?” he asked, I shook my head

“oh she can…. but she just prefer not to” Alicia said and I cursed myself, why can’t she just shut up.

Blake looked at me and smiled which made my blood boil. “Intresting…” he said scraching his stubble. I narrowed my eyes which made his smile wider.

“ _we should go now” _ I sighned Alicia.

“Eric where are your manners? aren’Yt you going to invite your friends for dinner? join us for dinner Miss. Taylor” Blake said and I shook my head.

“I’ll drive you home” Eric said

“no need Eric, I called Everlyns mother and she’s on her way now as we speak” Alicia said.

Blake glanced at Alicia properly for the first time and narrowed his eyes “and who are you dear, I don’t remember you mentioning your name?” he asked her.

“oh…. sorry Mr. maxwell, my name is Alicia Smith, I live a few blocks away at st.peters street”

“you mean the smith residents at peters street?”

“Yes Sir”

“and do you know Henry Smith?”

“Yes sir… he’s my father” Blake’s eyes went wide.

“How the hell did you get into my house you little whore!” He screamed and my jaw dropped.

“pardon?” Alicia asked.

“how much did he pay you to come here? is that why you are here so you could trap my brother and

get your dirty hands on his money?”

wait… what?

“What are you talking about?” Eric asked confused as I am.

“I thought you were smart enough to keep away from whores like her” blake said to Eric.

“ _she’s not a whore” _ I sighned

“Miss Taylor if you are wise, you would stay far away from girls like her” she said pointing at Alicia. I narrowed my eyes at him, how dare he insult her like that? no one should insult her that way.

"I'm not- he didnt... pay me.. i'm not-" Alicia said in between sobs.

“Stop insulting her you BASTARD” Eric screamed.

“i’m insulting her?” blake pointed at himself, “i’m saving your ass from people like her, she lives in a brothel Eric, did you know that? her father is a mastermind in the underworld” He screamed.

What? I glanced at Alicia. “i’m not a whore” she said to me and ran away from the room, tears running down her cheeks.

Alicia lives in a brothel with a criminal father? it can’t be, she was always happy and sweet but then I remembered her surrowful eyes. no! she’ not a whore.

“yah get out of my house you slut!“Blake said.

“You are an asshole, I hate you……..” Eric said and stormed out of the room behind Alicia.

I frowned at him “what?”

I roled my eyes and turned to leave “Miss taylor.. my doors are open for you but not that slut”

urghhh I fist both my hands, turn and walk towards him, his eyes went wide but he didn’t move an

inch, “miss taylor?” I kicked his knee again this time for Alicia.

“urghh” he grunt in pain cupping his knee with both hands “what was that for?”

she’s not a whore and if you ever call her that again, you wont be this lucky, because next time it [_wont be your knee” _] I sighned him and left the room.


I found Alicia sitting on the entrance stairs hugging both her knees and crying. sitting beside her I

nudged her with my shoulder, she slightly lifted her head and I gasped her eyes were swollen and her

nose and cheesk were red. The merry little Alicia was annoying but I prefer her than this person

staring back at me, I prefer anything but this.

“ [_are you alright?” _] I sighned and regreted it, Of course she’s not fine, I wanted to slap myself.

she nod her head “I’m fine” she wiped away a tear “I was just waiting here for your mum” she said and I nod.

We were both silent for awhile, and I had a sudden urge to know what was going on her mind. “ he [_has no right to accuse you that way” _] I sighned her

“I don’t blame him, he knows my father” she said staring at the road ahead.

“ _that still dosen’t give him any right to insult you that way, your not your father” _ I don’t know why I keep defending her, because I hate her, but one thing I do know is that I hate judgement and

injustice, Blake had no right to judge her, that’s totally unfair.

“but people don’t see it that way, atleast he had the guts to talk to my face and not blabber about me when i’m not there and throw discusting glances my way as if i’m the most repulsive thing to walk

on this planet” she wiped a tear that ran down her cheek“I like straight forward people and not backstabbers because even though it might hurt when someone talks to your face it hurts even more

when they talk behind your backs and ignore you like you never exist”

Is that why people ignore her in school? because of her father?

“But the truth is I’ll never be like him or what he wants me to be, my sisters might have chosen that path for the fame and money but my dignity is more important than all those things to me, my

Father says that my time is coming soon to join his army of whores and I tried to fight him every day

tellling him that I wont be like him, he gets furiouse and stabs me, on my 17th birthday last year he

almost murdered me when I resisted to court one of his maniac friends, and I don’t think i’ll be that

lucky the next time I refuse because i’m 18 in a few months and he’s very desperate” she wiped the tears that started to leak through her eyelids.

i fist my hands, He hurts her? that SOB how dare he raise his filthy hands on her? I have never seen

him but i’m begining to hate that man every second.

“but i’ll continue to fight him, i’ll die even if I have to, I know who I am and it’s enough for me even if the whole world thinks i’m a whore”

“ _you are not a whore” _ I signed her. She turned to me and smiled, even though I hate her crying her smile still irritates me.

“I knew you were diffrent than the others from the moment I first saw you, and i’m right because you beilve me when the rest of the world judge me, you are indeed a mistery which I can never solve, you

show your tough strenth to scare off people but deep down kindness is your soft pot, maybe that is

the reason why you detach yourself from the others because you are afraid to show weakness” she


mums wagon pulled up in front of us and for once I was thankful for her arrival because Alicia is

starting to read me like a book.

“hey girls did you have fun?” my mum squelled, and I rolled my eyes, yah mum i have the best time of my life, if only you knew what happened.

mums face suddenly changed, she was glancing at alicia “why are you crying dear?” she asked her gently. Alicia quickly wiped away her tears and smiled “I’m fine miss taylor, these are just happy tears we had an awsome time here” I frowened at her, awsomr time?

“well then get in the car you two…. i want to know every single detail” I groaned that is going to be hard bcause we have to cover up by thousand lies and I hate lying.

Alicia got inside the back seet and as I was opening the passenger door i caught a movement from

the corner of my eye, I quickly turned to see what it was and found Blue eyes standing near their

house entrance staring at me, our gazes locked and I got lost in those eyes they were indeed a

beauty, I felt like they were calling me, my fingers itched to touch it so… badly that I fisted my hands, I couldn’t look away the pull was very strong, Maybe he’s feeling it too because he didn’t move or

glance away but kept on straing without blinking.

“what’s wrong Everlyn? get in…. what are you staring at?” Finally I brock the contact and looked away, I got in the car fast and slamed the door. Mum pulled out of the parking and i glanced at the

side mirror only to find Blake the blue eyed man still standing near the entrance watching us leave,

what just happened?

“who is he?” Mum asked me when we pulled out of the Erics house, I raise my eyebrows at her in question “who was he? the one you were staring at?” Mum asked.

I Just shrugged my shoulders “not a person you should know” I sighned her


“ _just drive mum” _ i sighned her

“okay fine but i’ll find out soon who he was” she said and I rolled my eyes of course she will, she will not rest untill she find out who that man is.

As we drove by the street I kept wondering who that man is myself? why am I pulled towards him?

why can’t I get my eyes off of him? and why is his eyes so.. attractive to me?so many qustions which

need answers.

who is he?


on the car ride home Mum started asking questions about what happened and alicia gave a full

report on the days events leaving out Blakes out burst which was smart but I would have considered

her a true geneius if she left the part about me being sick, but unfortunatly for her she didnt forget to mention even a second of what happened.

“you threw up in his shoes?” I groaned, here we go again.

“Everlyn how could you?” she pursed her lips trying to hide her laugh.

“ _it was an accident mother” _ I sighned her

‘then what happened did he shriek like a baby?” mum asked

“ _he did swear at first but after he handled it fine” _

_” _ how?”

“ _he gave me medidcine” _

“after that?”

“ _I passed out in his bed” _

mum outbursted with her laugh “oh dear you really are a funny thing you throw up in his shoes and pass out in his own bed? how hilariouse wait untill I tell your father, he’ll die laughing”

“ _it’s not funny so don’t you dare tell dad please just leave it alone” _

she wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek after laughing so much “okay fine… i’ll leave it at that”

“so Alicia what else did my funny daughter do?” mum asked

no reply came from the backseat so I turned around to see why she’s silent and found her staring

outside the window deep in thought.

ALICIA” she snapped out of her thoughts when mum called her again “yes miss taylor?”

“what’s wrong dear what’s trobling you?”

“nothing I was just thinking about our chemistry assighnment” she said

she’s a good lier, I know that she’s not thinking about her assihnment but what happened in Erics

house, maybe even about her dad and his demands…. I fist my hands tight after she mentioned

about his father who i’ve never met al I want to do is to get my hands on him and drop some sence

into his head. I closed my eyes and pictured Rose, she was also a victim. my sweet Rose nevr

deserved that madness neither does Alicia but both of them were fighters they refused to give up,

and neither will I.

“ [_can you drop me off in the cemetery?” _] I sighned my mum

she glanced my way “Everlyn….

“ _please I need to see her, please” _ i sighned her.


“ _please just let me see her _

EVERLYN STOP!” I stared at her

“I’ve told you this morning that you can go see her anytime you want, i’m not stopping you Everlyn”

what? i thought that she’ll be mad.

she stopped the car in front of the cemetry and turned to face me “Everlyn i’m not goinng to take away what you love, i just want you to be happy and If seeing her gives you that then go ahead i

wont stop you”

damn it….. why does this women never give up? why can’t she just open her eyes and just wake up

from the dream that i’ll be better someday?

I quickly got off from her car and slammed the door “do you want us to join you?” Mum asked and I froze why does she always ask that question when she knows the answer. I turned to them and

sighned “ _no” _ both of them groaned “okay then we’ll wait for you its already dark and i dont want you walking on the streets alone”

Ha….. if she knew how many times I walk through those streets alone at midnight when she’s asleep

she’ll have a heart attack, I rolled my eyes, dosen’t she know that I can take care of self?

As I walked through the gates I noticed the same guard who I saw yesterday sitting on the same

place but instead of reading a book this time he was asleep with his head resting on his chest. what

was his name? Robin? Rob? I decided that I really dont care so I just walked past him being carefull

not to make a sound so that he’ll wake up.

I made it to Roses grave and dropped down on my knees in front of her stone, her beautiful blue eyes

along with her thousand watt smile stared back at me. I suddenly rememberd the dream I had and

closed my eyes.

I pictutred the carefree Rose who played on the meadows with me, her beautiful voice and her

beautiful smile gave me away and I felt releived. I touched her stone and felt her presence her

laghter and her joy. As I slid my hands through the picture engraved in her stone I felt something and frowned.

I opened my eyes and found another envelope on her stone, this time a black one. I sat down on the

grass and opened the envlope to find a black piece of paper inside. why black? The letteer was

written in silver.

*Dear miss Ross *

*My day has turned into a utter disapointment and I’m craving for its end. My job has transformed *

*me into someone who i find hard to recognise. years ago I was a person who everyone loved, *

*enjoyed,admired and now suddenly i’m a person who evryone is repulsed with, they cant stand *

*being in my presence even for a minute. *

[*I sit for a minute and ask myself what happened? what changed? and realize that its my doing, *]

*suddenly I’ve become cold towards evryone, i have no time for my family and I have no time for *

*myself. I chose this path of misery and ther’s no turning back because I have to fight for the ones I *

*love. *

*My mind is a warzone, thinking and deciding what I should or should not do. I’m not sure If i’m *

*depressed, but i’m not happy either. I can laugh and smile during the day but sometimes when I’m *

*alone at night I forget how to feel. *

*I’m sick and tierd of this new life but i have to hold on to it for the ones I love. So I wear my mask *

*during the day showing people that I’m happy for what I have and that I’m living my life but deep *

*down inside I lement for the things I lost. I lement and grieve the person I used to be before, I weep *

*for loosing the freedome to be myself. *

*My dear Rose I’m sorry that you have to listne to my outcrys. I’ve never felt the need to confide in *

*anyone, but at times like this when I’m desperste to shout to the whole world, i knew I made the *

*right choice in writting you. My little Rose I’m glad that you are free and happy beside God,and I *

*know you would understand because you have gone through hell when you were walking on this *

*planet. *

*You inspire me evryday little Rose, I keep going because of you. I think to myself if a litle girl faced *

*this cold world why cant a adult man like me try to face it too. *

*The search to find your loved ones have failed but I’ll not give up, I know that ther is someone out *

*there who grieves your loss, and I’m determind to find that person because I have to tell them how *

*much you are worth and how you keep brightning my day. *

*writting to you has calmed me and i know that if someone else read this letter the’ll assume i’m *

*insane but my heart tells me that you would not feel the same. I feel that Even if you stopped *

*walking on this earth I know your spirit still wonders around and that your not entirely dead. So I *

*will keep on writting untill I visit your resting place in person. I will visit you soon my dear little *

*Rose untill then Rest in peace. *

*From your secret admirer J *

I stared at the letter flabergasted and read it again twice. “who is this man Ro?” “Why does he speak like me?” “how does he know you Ro?” I asked looking at her stone.

EVERLYN!” I heard Alicia scream and jerked up, judging by the sound of her voice she’s coming this way. I quickly shoved the letter inside my jean pocket and went to find her, It didnt take that much

long because as soon as I passed the 105th section i Saw her coming towards me.

"Everlyn I was looking everywhere for you- oooh" I grabbed her hand tight and pulled her towards the exit. I'm furiose with her now, how mant times have I told them not to come inside? how many

times have I told them never to disturb me? and yet she came anyway? I wanted to hit someone

now. I hate it when they invade my space. both of us reached the cemtry gates and I saw Rob, Robin or who ever still sleeping on his chair. I ignore him and walked towards the car.

personal note: remember to ask him about the letter the next time I come here.

I frowned at mother as soon as I got in the car and she sighed “I try to stop her but you took long and both of us started to worry because you were sick before Everlyn remember?” I turned around

“ _dont do that again” _ I signed alicia with range. she nods “alright” she said.

my thoughts again drifted back to the letter, who is this admirer of Rose who clearly envy Rose? how

does he even know her?


Authors Note

This Idea came to my mind one day when I was watching my sister play. Her face was filled with joy

and exitment on what she was doing. Her smile filled me up everyday and I started to wonder why

cant everyone else smile like that?

People would say “ she’s just a child…. she has no responsibilities or cares in this world… as soon as she grows up she would not be wearing that smile anymore”

Maybe they are right, she is a child but I’ve learned a lot through just watching her.

A 7 year old child taught me how to be very energetic and passionate about what your doing, a childs

motivation is extrodinary but what touched me most is her joy.

Life has been difficult and dark before she entered my home, but ever since her arrival I learned what love and compassion is, I became a sister, I learned how to take responsibility and most of all I

learned how to love.

So I started to wonder she’s the most important person to me. I asked my self this question would I

be able to face the world if something happen to her, will I be able to move on?.

“have you ever lost a person you love? how does it feel?”

Losing a person you love is not hard, it’s terrifying, people might tell you to move on but we are a ll humans after all and its not easy.

So i thought of putting on their shoes and seeing it how it actually feels. That’s how Everlyn Taylor

was born in my mind. A girl who lost the only hope in her world, her everything, and the story shows

how she handles it.

The strory does not end in this book, there’s more to come.

My only wish is that people would learn to understand people through this book.

Have a great day,



Stay in touch The second book of The Heart heals series is comimg soon.

Please leave a review and contact me to express your thoughts on the story.

A writer would learn through a reader, so Please let me know your thougts it does not matter if its

negetive or positive.

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From Bleak to Beautiful

This story is about a girl with a complicated past, trying to find her way through the world. She wants to give up, but she made a promise to her sister that she would not stop fighting. This story shows how this 17 year old girl Everlyn Taylor tries very hard to keep that promise,by fighting the cold demons of her past. She struggles , she suffers but in the end she survives. She tries to distant herself from others, because she's afraid to get heart like she did when she lost the most precious thing in her world. But her new family and new friends help her find happiness. This is the first book of A heart heals series.

  • Author: Shenali Angeline
  • Published: 2017-09-02 14:35:09
  • Words: 18483
From Bleak to Beautiful From Bleak to Beautiful