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First death then life

From Author!

Thank you for choosing my book. This is second part my story about love. If you do not read the first part “First life then death” then you can find this part on Shakespir. Your opinion is very important for me. Please let me know your opinion in any case, if the book is not interesting or there are a lot of grammatical errors, and etc. I really want to share with you this story, but unfortunately, on my way there are many obstacles. I’ll be very grateful if you take me a little time and let me know your experience. Thank you!

With Love from Angelina Krafft!

Chapter 1.

We’re not together.

I look at her peaceful face and I am happy. Yes, I should be happy and I’m happy. Now, she will never experience the pain. I carefully removed the stray strand of her dark hair from her cheeks and winced. I touched her soft skin with my fingertips, and a sharp pain shot through me. It hurt in my chest. It became hard to breathe. I stood still and looked at her. I was looking at the meaning of my life, no, I was looking for all my life.

“Dear, I love you so much!” I knelt down next to her bed and nuzzled in her neck.

Nina began to move, and her hand fell on my neck. I remembered how she hugged me before. Then I did not understand how those hugs were valuable, but now … now I would have sold soul to the devil, if he were interested in my black soul, for the sake of her arms. I did not move. Instinctively, she clung to me. Wings of her little nose parted as she breathed, his lips quivered slightly. Oh no, now I was looking at her lips. I immediately remembered what her lips have the taste and how they are warm. I took a deep breath and my lungs filled with her. I always did so. Every time she was in the room next to me, I inhaled and exhaled air, allowing myself to enjoy her fragrance. And now, I could not touch, could not kiss red and plump lips and could not just tell her how much I love her. In fact I had this chance but now… But I’m still happy. Then, when I saw these horrible wounds on her body, beads of sweat on her forehead because she was very sick, I was ready to sacrifice everything to save her from this torment. And here she is in her bed and gently asleep, snoring like a baby. I felt good, but because of selfishness something pricked in my chest. I needed her, and I promised to be always near. And I will. I guess I’ll be very to suffer being near her but at the same time away. But she… She’s not going to suffer and I will be all my life to protect her and be next to her. For her, it will not hurt, I was sure. She would never remember me, and will not suffer for love of me. After all, we can not be together. But there’s something nice for her. Her father finally will with her and she will be able to arrange her life normally. Gabriel said he would be with her always and would take care of her. But I’ll take care of her life too.

I awkwardly kissed the inside of her arms and left.


I woke up in a terrible mood. The whole body ached as if I had been beaten. Gabriel looked timidly into the room as soon as I opened my eyes. He allegedly spent several hours waiting at the door when I wake up.

“Hi, honey!” he faltered and went.

I reached up and took off the blanket by foot.

“You are strange” I raised my head from the pillow and sat next to him.

He gently grabbed my shoulders and smiled. He obviously laughed at my words.

“Probably, because I love you” he whispered and kissed me on the forehead.

I could not suppress a smile. It was very pleasant to sit and listen to him as he confessed to me in love. My father often did so, and I was always happy to listen to it again and again. But my body that day was not in the best frame of mind. Gabriel looked at me anxiously, but said nothing. He apologetically waved his head and walked out.

When I went out, my face was enveloped by morning coolness. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I felt an acute shortage of something, and thought that breathing of fresh air could change it felling inside. But I was wrong.

I quickly wrapped the warm scarf around the neck and sat in the car. My hands trembled slightly when I put the key in the ignition. A strange excitement was in the abdomen. But I was trying to pull myself together and ignore it.

“Nina, damn it!” Mr. Gate swore when I got out of the car.

I could not understand why he looked at me with a stern look. I was sure that at that moment he did not hesitate to twist my neck if he had a chance at it.

I stared at him questioningly.

“Where have you been? You missed the tests and this means that you can not see the practice.” fiercely he continued to talk.

Lights of rage incessantly flickered across his face. I took a deep breath and hugged my shoulders. I swear at that moment I panicked. I looked at his stiff face and felt strange. My survival instinct made me shuffled by my feet on the ground. I felt an unbearable desire to move away from him at a safe distance or even escape. But why did I feel this? I knew that he did not hit me, but my inner being if shriveled with fear.

“I did not know about the tests. When it was?” I finally managed to say of myself and tried to focus on what I had to worry about.

Yes, I had to worry about this damn test, and I was very surprised that I did not waver in any one muscle when Mr. Gate told me that I had missed.

“Yesterday, Nina, it was yesterday” through his teeth, Mr. Gate tried to suppress anger.

I cringed under his angry gaze. Between us there was silence.

“I agreed that you passed it today. You’re a good student, and I think you can do it without preparation. You’re not prepared for it?” he mumbled with a smile and without waiting for my answer he left.

I felt a slight relief after his departure. But the questions were in my mind, and I tensed again. Passing students, I tried not to pay attention to the haughty looks. I was calm and even a little lax, but inside I was all shriveled with fear.

“Nina Ross, I’ll kill you” I heard a familiar voice behind.

I felt crazy, because all around behaved oddly.

“I’m glad to see you, Valentina” I blurted out and turned to her.

Of course, I would have recognized her voice from thousands of these malicious notes of discontent in her voice, too.

“Where were you lost yesterday?” she stared at me.

I saw anxiety and some relief in her eyes. I was silent for a few minutes, trying to hear the answer to this question in his head. Because, all day was gone from my life. How was this possible?

“I’m sorry, I do not know …” I was beginning to mumble.

“Oh my God, your father said you feel bad, but why did not you call?” she interrupted me and hugged.

I did not resist. Of course, I was sick and my father told me something about in this morning. But how can you get sick one day, not remembering anything.

“You’ve already abused her?” Taylor came up to us.

Valentina pulled away from me and theatrical wiped tears from cheeks.

“I’ll kill you if you do so again, Ross” she growled fiercely and then her face shone a smile.

Taylor immediately contracted by her mood.

“What?” the silence between us was delayed and I just could no longer stand it.

“She appointed wedding day, and …” Taylor paused and stared at Valentina.

“I’m pregnant” she blurted out and put her hand to her mouth.

I could feel her sense of joy and at some point in my chest something pricked. I felt an incredible sense of sadness. I want to say that it was not just sad, it was hurt. But why???

Valentina and Taylor wondered. They looked at me, and I knew that my views, I get upset them. But I was actually very happy for them. Valentina and Taylor wondered. They looked at me, and I knew that my views, I get upset them. But I was actually very happy for them. Just do not abate the pain in my chest was tearing me apart. Tears welled up in my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m so happy” from the flood of emotion, I like crazy hugged Valentina and clung to her.

Tears rushed from my eyes even more strength and felt I could no longer control it.

“You are a strange, Ross” Taylor said, dragged me from Valentina.

“Are you all right?” Valentina stared at me in disbelief.

But I could not say anything. I frantically washed one tear after another. The skin under the eyes started to pinch.

“Yes. I’m so happy for you. When is the wedding?” I tried to calm down.

“Eighteenth of January. We want our wedding was snow” Valentina said happily and pressed to Taylor.

I immediately imagined how everything would be decorated with white snowflakes. Valentina had certainly a good imagination. The wedding on a snowy day was wonderful idea.

I tried to concentrate. I had to solve the test perfectly because otherwise it could not be. But in my head that all mixed up. Drawing pain in my chest did not pass. I wanted to cry, but I could not understand why? The reasons were not.

I was seating for a test a few hours and could hardly bring myself to deal with it. Of course, all this time I spent on meditation, mindless meditation, and just a couple of minutes to solve the test. Outside, it was very dark and I was nervous. For a long time I drove the car in the dark. I quickly packed up and flew down the corridor HelpRed, ran out into the street. Stronger wrapped in a scarf, I stomped into the parking lot. From the windows of the dormitory could hear cheers and laughter. At some point, I regretted that I had not lived like all these guys. Of course, I could not live like them. But Valentina was now lived with Taylor and they become kind of like family. I was too sad to stay in this hostel alone. Of course, I could not live like them. But Valentina is now lived with Taylor and they become kind of like family. I was too sad to stay in this hostel one. Gabriel was waiting for me at home, and I felt a little heat inside from it.

I climbed into the car and the first thing I turned on the stove. Chills ran through the body, and I frantically rubbed hands together. In jacket pocket, cell phone rang.

“Yeah, Dad. I just drive off. Probably, for dinner, I do not have time” I tried to hide the tremor in my voice.

I was cold and a little scary.

“I’ll wait for you, honestly” he laughed into the phone.

“I catch you up on that” I played up to him, although I was not having fun.

“Why are you taking so long?” finally, his voice grew serious.

“Well, I had the test and …” I stammered.

At one point I lost the desire to say something to him. I just did not want to talk at all. The chest ached again, and tears welled up in my eyes. “What the hell, Nina,” I thought to myself. But it was in vain. I badly wanted to cry, and I did not understand why. Hastily finished talking with Gabriel, I rested my head on the steering wheel and let all my emotions come out.

I cried like crazy. Probably about an hour I sat in the car, trying to finally pull myself together. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I found on my face huge red spots. Rather, it was one red spot. The eyes were red, too. Sniffed by nose, I removed all the hair from the face and adjust to the road.

The road was very hard to see because of darkness. And, of course, due to the fact that so much time crying, my eyes became almost useless. I was not riding very fast and assured myself that I knew all these roads by heart. But the farther I went, the stronger I was beginning to doubt it. From HelpRed to my house was a maximum of twenty minutes, and I was driving for about an hour. Around one point, the trees flashed, and I realized that I was lost. Turning off the main road, I went on the dirt. Each unevenness of the road if it was familiar to me.

I drove along a dirt road to the end, rode up almost to the very end. A long concrete path that led to a huge mansion was not in front. I was terrified. It was the only house in the neighborhood. I would say it was not just a house, but a palace. Of course, this place looked scary, but at the same time kind of fascinating.

“Rich crazy or criminal people could live in these homes.” I muttered under my breath.

I wanted to call my dad and ask him to help, but the battery finally sat down. Yes, and it would be difficult to ask for his help when I was not known where I am. I took a deep breath and realized that I was only one way out.

Going to a huge and somewhat scary house, I felt fear. Hugged her shoulders, I tried to stop shivering body. I was cold and scared. It was explosive mixture for anyone. It is nearing for winter, but I did not bother to get a cap. Tightly pressed to my scarf, I rang the doorbell.


“Nina!” I cried when I opened the door.

She stood on the threshold of my house, the house that was once not so long ago and it was her too. But now, she did not know me or the house. I immediately felt myself silly. Yes, say her name was stupid. Now she will ask questions, and I do not know how to lie to her.

“I’m sorry” she pulled back a little.

I felt like she was scared. From this my heart sank. She should not be afraid of me. I immediately felt the smell and me if something was awakened. I greedily breathed in the light fragrance of love. Nina came to me, and after all, she promised that she would come to me and came. Yesterday I spent beside her bed most of the day trying to make sure she’s happy. I have tuned in to the hideous life without her. And now, she stands on my doorstep, shivering with fear and cold, and I felt like a blessing of heaven. But the heavens have not blessed me, and will never be blessed.

“You lost?” I shook my head, trying to erase from her memory my first word.

“Yes. If possible, I would like to call and … I need to know where I am” she whispered, dropped his eyes down.

n my chest something started whining. She looked so tired and frozen. I wanted to grab her and hugged her, warm her up and hide from everyone, leaving only for myself. But it was just my selfish desire.

“Of course, come in. You must be frozen” I walked the aisle and asked her to enter.

Nina began to get nervous. I always felt when she was nervous. At such moments, her lips were compressed into a single line, and chubby cheeks fall.

“I just call” as if to convince herself, she came to my house.

She walked past me. Her hair fell over her shoulders casually, and I immediately remembered how to run my hands in the drip hair, pulling her to my chest.

Nina took a few more steps and stopped. She slowly turned to me. I froze. Her face fell light and I noticed that she was crying. Anger swept over me. Damn all, if I was not able to comfort her.

“Do you want tea? You froze” I said uncertainly.

First Nina stiffened and then smiled.

“I do not want to distract you. I’ll call?” she said her sweet voice.

The body was covered if the burning lava. I did not want to let her go. I like got mad, and in my mind there was only one thought, to hold her close, as long as possible.

“Telephone is there. The address is on the card next to the phone. Call, and I’ll make tea” I grumbled firmly and without waiting for her refusal, rushed to the kitchen.

Through the thick walls of the house, I heard her talking to Gabriel. He won the opportunity to be next to her, and I hated him for it. And I hated him for what he did not save her, as he had promised. He told me that he gave her great love and make happy. I, in turn, vowed to take care of her security. So, all in tears, she was in my house, and neither I nor Gabriel, nothing helped her.

“I called, thank you. Gabriel would come to me in an hour, maybe” she suddenly came into the kitchen.

Once we had breakfast in this kitchen and the damn table on which I leaned dumbfounded.

“Okay” I said almost casually.

“I’ll wait in the car, thanks again.” she was going to leave.

I started to panic. My whole nature would not let her go.

“No! I made tea. The street is too cold. Come in, sit down” I pulled out a chair and invited her.

Nina looked confused. Her rich and sensual eyes were looking at me. I, in turn, was also looking at her, knowing that I love her more than my own life.

“Okay” she agreed.

Joy hit me in the head. Slowly she pulled the scarf from her neck and sat on a chair. But not one that, I pushed for her. She sat down on the very spot where she was sitting like always. I quietly smiled and put in front of her mug of tea. Nina boldly hugged the cup by hands and held to his lips.

“It smells perfectly” she said.

I nodded. All my attention was fixed on her lips. But soon, I was distracted by the ring. On her ring finger ring was the same that I gave her. She did not withdraw it and if I was the most happy. She did not withdraw it.

“Do you live here alone?” she took a small sip.

Inside me, everything began to tremble. I have lived here for about twenty years, maybe less, to a meeting with her. I covered the senses. So I wanted to tell her about my feelings.

“Before I was not living alone, but now the house is empty” as if my soul began to speak instead of me.

“You have a wife?” without thinking twice, she asked me.

I could not suppress a smile.

“Not really. We were not married, but she was my wife. I love her” I said, and watched her reaction.

Nina took a sip again and stared at me curiously.

“You still love her. But why, then, she is not here?”

I sighed. This conversation was fun, but at times I did not want to talk. I wanted to grab her and just kiss. To kiss and hug without stopping.

“I love, loved and will love. Let’s talk about you. Why were you crying?” I realized that blurted stupidity.

Nina fidgeted uncertainly on a chair and put the cup on the table.

“I did not cry” she tried to reassure me.

I pressed my lips to keep myself blurt out too much. The silence between us was delayed. I did not know what to ask her again. I was interested only reason for her tears. What if someone hurt her?! Although, I would have known this, I would have killed the bastard. But what happened?

“I will go. Thank you” she jumped up from the table and headed for the exit.

I blamed myself for what had frightened her. She bravely went to the door and I was surprised by how well she remembered the way to the exit.

She went, and some part of me went with her.

“Dad” she gestured toward the car with its lights on.

Reluctantly, I looked into the distance. Gabriel stood with his arms crossed over his chest. He hated me and I hated him, and probably Nina was the only consolation. Yes, we certainly would have killed each other if it were not for her.


Gabriel was mad at me, but I did not care. His anger was absurd. I did not do anything bad.

“Nina, you’re right?” he suddenly interrupted my thoughts.

I was startled by his rough voice. He had never talked to me like, but maybe I just did not remember.

“Yeah, Gabriel. I’m fine” I muttered.

In my head I was thinking about this stranger. I did not even know his name, and insanely blamed myself for what had not bothered to find out. But he, the stranger, he knew my name. How??

“I’m going to sleep, the day was difficult” I said, and went up the stairs.

Gabriel grabbed my wrist. I spun around and our eyes met. He looked at me with some distaste. At that time he was not at all like himself.

“Nina, what the hell were you doing in that house?” narrowing his eyes, he asked.

His question was strange. Of course, I came to myself I was saying that I was lost. But he was not happy with this version. Why??

“I told you, Gabriel!” I pulled my hand irritably.

“Gabriel” he chuckled.

I ignored him and immediately ran to my room. Hand was hurt. He held me too much, and I would say casually. I rubbed my hand wrist. It hurt, but not as in the breast. Aching and some sadness were inside me. I took a shower and sat down near a large mirror to comb my hair. The body was wrapped in a towel.

“What is it?” I whispered under my breath.

In the reflection of the mirror, I saw on my shoulder a small scar. I touched it by fingertips. In my memory there were not memories of this scar. I got up and threw off towel on the floor, turned my back to the mirror.

My eyes stared at the reflection. Many scars and bruises were on my back. But I did not know where it came from. I looked at the scars on my back for a long time, trying to remember where they came from. But I did not remember. At some point, I felt empty inside. A feeling that I had lost something important I had missed something important.

That night I slept badly. I had nightmares. But the worst thing in the morning, nothing has changed. I mean, this morning I felt no better than a night in my nightmares. The heart ached and I was very sad. Gabriel changed. When I came down, he was not as usual. Previously, he greeted me with a smile and a delicious breakfast. But today, he was grim.

“Good morning” I was trying to defuse the situation.

Gabriel silently turned to me and handed me a cup of coffee. He did not look at me. I picked up the glass and took a sip. The taste of the coffee was strange, but I did not dare tell him about it. He was clearly angry, and to some extent I felt the guilt because of this.

The best solution was not to linger. I threw on a jacket and wrapped in a scarf. Grabbing a cup of coffee to go, I went home.

In the car I was overwhelmed by memories. In front of me incessantly flashed the face of the guy. When he opened the door, I remembered what feelings covered me.

The man was awakened in me some strange feelings and I was not afraid of him, that I should have. He looked very sad and so disheveled. Light stubble on his face looked very sexy. And he looked, too. When our eyes met, a wave of excitement enveloped me. Abdomen began to ache, when I thought about yesterday. At some point I wanted to see him again and to fill my emptiness inside that feeling of excitement. But I still could not figure out how it could be done.

Chapter 2.

I need…

Valentina nervously fingered the edge of jackets and looked at me. She wanted something to learn, or to ask, but could not decide. This happened with her no often. I had some time watching her, trying to understand her motive.

“Valentina?” I raised the eyebrow, looking with amazement at her.

She bit her upper lip and stared at me, too.

“What?” she was trying to portray innocence.

I slyly smiled and stared at the notes. Her handwriting was not easy to make out, so it was a good way to ignore her. That to understand anything, I had to concentrate fully.

“Okay. Nina, I need you to say something.” she gasped.

“And …” I tried to support her decision to finally speak to me.

“I do not know, should speak or not. And importantly, it does not know or not. Yesterday I passed the office of Mr. Gate and saw that he was talking to your father. They were talking about you, Nina.” she began to get nervous.

I put my hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her. But in fact, I started also a little nervous.

“Speak” I whispered.

Valentina closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Your father said you found someone and said he was not sure whether or not you remembered. I do not understand these words, but Nina, you’ve gone a whole day. I think it’s important.” she looked at me.

I could see the excitement in her eyes and knew that I should calm her down. In her position it was extremely dangerous to worry.

“Valentina, likely, there’s not anything strange.” I lied implausible.

“Last time you did not happen anything strange?” she still stared at me.

Of course, just yesterday there was something strange. But I did not think that Valentina was necessary to know.

“No. All is well. Throw it out of your head” I pulled a smile and patted her on the shoulder.

She did not believe. Of course, lying to her, it was very difficult. Valentina was an expert on lie. In that Taylor had no luck. His future wife felt a lie a mile away.

I nervously stood up and shoved the notebook in a bag. I had to convince her not to think about it and reassure. But it was difficult, given that I too was hard not to think about it.

“Nina, I’m worried about you” she whispered, grabbing my arm.

I winced because of the discomfort. Yesterday Gabriel just grabbed my arm and bruise was on my wrist from his grasp. Valentina just push it.

“What?” she looked at me, but do not let go of my hand.

I breathed in more air and force pulled out of her grasp.

“Stop thinking about nonsense. You have a wedding soon and you’re waiting for the baby. Think about it” trying to radiate joy, I said, and left.

I was tormented by guilt and many other feelings. Many of these feelings were irrelevant. For example, the longing. I was very sad, and I had no idea why.

I gathered all the will in a fist, to see out to the end of occupation. In my mind matured a crazy idea to go to the house where I was yesterday, and to thank the stranger. Well, I confess that I just wanted to know his name and stay with him a little bit. I shiver at the knees recalled his view, a small piece of his broad chest, sticking out from under his shirt. Abdomen began to ache again. I clenched a fist and made a few small breaths.

“I just thank him and all” I whispered under my breath when the car pulled off the main road onto dirt.

Stopping in front of a concrete path, I turned off the car. I just knock and it is all. But what I will say next? It’s over, I had not thought of that. I was … I do not think it was fear. Rather, I was just worried.

I called at his door several times. No one went out, and the light was not burned in any window.

“Excellent” I grunted and went back to the car.

But perhaps it was for the better. I did not give the report my actions. I seemed obsessed with the thought once again to see this stranger.

Gabriel did not talk to me until now. I, in general, did not expect anything else. Trying not to meet his gaze, I slipped into my room. It seems that he suited not to talk to me, and I did not want anything else. I was also happy with it. I pulled off all my clothes and went into the shower. Basking under a hot tap, I could not stop thinking about the stranger. My body instantly responded to the idea of it. I nervously bit my lip, feeling guilty about it. I knew I should not think about him. On this there were several reasons. First, he looked rather strange and unhealthy. Although it was not an argument. And second, I thought he was much older than me. In his eyes there was so much life experience, and bitter experience. He talked about some girl. Remembering with what love he talked about her, I cringed from the chest discomfort. Of course, his heart was already taken, and think about him did not make sense. But it seemed to me that I simply had no power to stop thinking about the man.

I spent about a week, dreaming of a man whose name I did not even know. Gabriel continued not to talk to me and I did not care. I gave myself entirely in my dreams.

“Nina” Gabriel called me when I was in the shower.

His voice broke into my consciousness, erasing all the images of the stranger.

“I’m in the shower” I cried irritably.

Silence followed in response. I just heard the door of my room slammed shut, and someone quickly came down the stairs. Irritation covered me instantly. I hated that Gabriel broke into my thoughts at the very moment when I was able to fully restore in my memory facial features the stranger. I stepped out of the shower, quickly pulled jeans and a sweater on.

“Did you want something?” I went downstairs.

Gabriel was on the phone. Seeing me, he quickly hung up.

“Yes. I made you coffee” he handed me a cup.

For more than a week, he plied me stupid coffee with an unusual flavor.

“I do not want.” I staggered from one only smell of the drink.

Gabriel frowned, but did not insist. He put the cup down on the table and sat down on the couch, ignoring my presence.

I should be offended, but I did not have power from this. Weakness if covered my body and the only reasonable idea at the time was to go to sleep.


I heard a bloodcurdling scream from above. This voice paralyzed me. Gabriel quickly rushed upstairs.

“Stay here” he growled as he ran.

I froze. It was hard to move. Burning pain poison spread over all the internal organs. It was Nina. I could feel her fear at a distance and heard a languid shortness of breath. She was unhappy. I held my head in my hands, trying to keep myself on the spot. I wanted to run to her and hug her. Held her trembling body as much as possible and take care of her.

Scream died down. I looked aghast at the ladder that Gabriel descended.

“You should no longer appear in her life” he growled very quiet.

I stiffened.

“You promised that she would be happy” I grinned at him.

I just wanted to tear him to pieces. I hated him and at some point thought my hate was not correct. But after that, I realized that I hate him consciously.

After he appeared in Nina’s life, I thought she would be happy. He helped me to save her, and I sincerely tried to convince myself to respect the man for that. I would be grateful to him, but he just cut off our arcs from each other. He did not save her soul, he only saved her body.

“Shut up and just get away from her life. She does not need your tutelage, I promise” he came up to me and poked me in the chest with his finger.

I barely restrained myself. I wanted to wring his neck, but I knew he was my time to rescue Nina. Yes, at that moment I decided that I would try fix everything and to save Nina.


I jumped up several times at night. I had nightmares before, but now they were so real.

“You’re a strange, my friend” Valentina flew up to me and pushed in my shoulder.

I barely squeezed out a smile. I felt really lousy, but I could not explain what I felt and why.

“Will you go to a meeting of smart?” Taylor laughed with the other hand.

I had not noticed when he walked. In the presence of my two best friends, it was hard to hide my feelings.

“No, I need to …” I hesitated to come up with an excuse.

I did not want to go to school, and even more so on the various optional meeting.

“We too. Taylor’s parents come to us.” Valentina did not wait for the continuation of my words.

I was incredibly grateful her for that.

“Yes. I invited them” Taylor stole a glance at Valentina.

Their relationship was a mystery to me. Yes, I did not want to solve it.

I went to a small diner and took a cup of coffee. Not far from the diner was a park with benches, so I immediately got on the first available. Outside it was cold enough. I eagerly grabbed a hot cup of coffee, not wanting to lose a single drop of heat.

“Can I sit here?” I heard a man’s voice behind me.

I did not know that voice but I heard it, I felt a tingling in the lower abdomen. I quickly raised my head up. The stranger stood before me. I realized that, just looking at the strong hands. Of course, I had remembered his body and facial features very thoroughly.

“Yes, you can” I murmured, unable to believe my eyes.

The stranger smiled and sat down. But it was not as close as I would like.

“Are you resting?” he asked.

I had to answer, but it was hard to cope with the strong desire to snuggle up to him and just forget about everything.

“What the hell, Nina! He was a stranger and you should not want him, “I repeated in my head. “But I want to!” my heart whispered.

I made a small sip of coffee to smooth silence.

“And you?” it was a stupid answer.

I hated when someone answer me by a question. Valentina usually did so.

The stranger smiled. He stared at me with fathomless dark eyes.

“In this diner coffee is lousy” he said, pointing to the cup in my hands.

“It’s better than the muck, which Gabriel watered me” I smiled.

I felt like my cheeks were red, and I prayed that he would not notice it.

“Gabriel is my father” I waited for him to ask who is the Gabriel, but he did not ask.

I decided to explain to him that this was not the name of my boyfriend.


I looked at her exhausted face. Scarlet lips become pale and small purple circles were under her eyes. Yes, she was suffering.

“Can I regale you delicious coffee and croissants? But if you do not mind” I blurted out.

I faced a wave of indignation. Nina looked a little painful and her a little plump cheek fell off.

I dare suggest that she does not eat anything, and decided I would have to feed her until she would in need.

“I …” she looked at me anxiously.

“Croissants with mango. It is very rare croissants” I thought of her favorite fruit.

She should not have to give up.

“I just … I guess I’ll go” she whispered hesitantly.

I could not let her go. Nina jumped sharply. I instinctively grabbed her hand. I felt a wave of power and desire. Her scent only added fire, filling my lungs.

“Tomorrow. I’ll meet you at night” I began uncertainly.

Nina nervously pursed her lips … Oh my God … Her lips beckoned me. I abruptly dropped her hand. She nodded uncertainly.


I ran to my car, resisting the urge to turn around. Our meeting with him was incredible, but again I did not recognize his name. I’m just a fool. In the pocket the phone rang. I jumped in surprise.

“Yes. I’ll be home soon” I hissed into the phone, without waiting until Gabriel spoke.

Relations had become strained between us and at the moment I hung up, I realized that this was due to the stranger.

Of course, because it was after the day, when I was in the house of the man, Gabriel stopped talking to me. And besides, he decided to punish me by forcing me to drink coffee every morning tasteless. It was a smart move.

I arrived home without incident. I pondered proposal stranger, though probably told myself not to go. Of course, when he invited me to come to him, my first thought was, “of course I’ll come.” But I was scared that my decision to come so quickly. And of course, I began to behave like a fool. It was a typical scenario.

I quietly slipped into my room. Gabriel was doing something in the kitchen and did not notice my arrival. It was good, but I still had to warn him about quitting. I was not going to tell him the truth, and it was the right idea.

“Gabriel” I called him, went downstairs.

I stood at the door, ready, that he did not believe my lies, and he forbade me to the house.

“Nina, you’re leaving?” he came up to me.

I shook my head, blushing from the fact that it was necessary to explain to him where I was going to go.

“Okay, not for a long time” he faltered and went out again, pulling some small parts in hand.

I was genuinely surprised. Gabriel did not ask me any questions and simply gave no explanation to escape. I did not think long. The ability to slip away without explanation never dreamed in my best dreams, so…


Gabriel called me. He wanted to see me. I did not know what he wanted from me, but Nina was soon to come. I left too little time before she arrived, so I went to Gabriel by my sophisticated way. Of course, I prefer to travel by car. Especially after Nina … I hated their essence precisely because it was to blame for the fact that my favorite Nina was not with me.

“You disobeyed” Gabriel if he knew when and where I would appear.

I definitely not know who Gabriel was. I knew only that he was Nina’s father and he was, too, angel. No matter what he was, but he was an angel.

“I’ll pretend that I’m interested” I did not hide my dislike of him.

Gabriel glared at me, and I also put in my eyes all the hate that was in me.

“She is mine, remember” if he snarled.

At that moment I realized that he did not care about Nina and her happiness. He’s as selfish as I am. But my love for Nina could overshadow my selfishness. But with him, it seems, this did not happen. This meant that he did not love her.

“I do not care, okay. I love her and I will love so” I threw up my hands to the side.

This gesture meant that I accepted his challenge. One moment and Gabriela fist buried in my ribs. I bent. Unbearable pain shot through me, but it was nothing compared to the glowing feeling inside. Gabriel untied my hands on this meeting. I just decided that I would not give Nina, and I would not stay away from her. Of course, I knew I could not be with her, but that make her happy was not forbidden to me.

“Do not ever come near to her” he leaned over to me when I fell on the floor.

I did not know what to answer, and the answer was not necessary. Nina was not home, so I knew that after some time I would see her. That was all I needed.

The car of Nina was standing near my house. I hurried down the stairs and opened the door before she rang the doorbell.

“Hello” she said.

Rib terribly hurt and I could not straighten back. But at the moment I did not really want to think about it. And yes, I could not. Her eyes looked expectantly at me. I said to myself, “Honey, I love you so much. Everything will be fine. Now everything will be fine. “These words rang in my head hundreds of times and I could smile at this.

“Hi. Come on” I stepped aside and Nina walked past me into the house.

“A bit strange to come back” she turned to me.

I was ready to rush to her, and pressed her plump pale lips, forgetting everything. I so much missed her touch, and when she recognized me in love during lovemaking. I remembered how her skin was velvet and the thought if the air left my lungs.

“You’re right” I said quietly and closed the door.

She sat across from me and chewed croissant. I looked at her with bated breath. Once we had breakfast together, and now she was my guest, and I was trying to feed her.

“You said that your father is preparing tasteless coffee” I suddenly remembered her words.

It was hard to ignore the words. He watered her some rubbish, and after today’s conversation I was not sure that he was not trying to poison her.

“Yes” she nodded and smiled, staring into her mug.

“You must be really love him?” I had to ask.

I needed to know her relationship to him.

“I … It’s just my father I do not know what I feel. I think I love him” she shrugged.

I carefully studied the expression on her face it was not a sign of love. I would say that she was not nice to talk about him. The rib ached and I was a little bent. Nina was not looking at me and I was happy about that for the first time.


I tried not to look at him. I was embarrassed. I did not know his name, and could not think of a normal issue, to find out.

“I’m sorry, I still do not know your name” I blushed with shame.

The man smiled pleasantly. He sat hunched over a bit and I was strained because of that.

“Do not apologize. My name is Ryan” he said, as if trying to hint to me, “Do not look like that.”

I quickly looked away from him.

“I’ll go…” I whispered, and started to leave.

Ryan deftly blocked my way. I stared at him in alarm. He winced, and looked back at me. I saw on his face a grimace of pain.

“What’s wrong with you?” I grabbed his shoulder as he staggered.

My heart was ready to jump out of my chest.

“Goodbye Nina” if he chased me.

I did not ask him questions. Last look at him, I headed for the door.

“Promise that you will be eat” he called me the next, when I was standing at the entrance.

I said nothing. I had nothing to say.

At night I could not sleep. I keep thinking about Ryan. I remembered his face, and the soul of this became a good. It was strange, because I had known him a little over a week, though we met only three times. But I could not ignore the fact that from thinking about him, I feel good.

I had managed to dream about Ryan all night. Thinking about him, as if my body turned into a red-hot lava. Sleep had no longer a chance.

“Good morning, Nina!” Gabriel behaved strangely.

I came down the stairs when Gabriel spoke to me. I guess I should have been glad that he was no longer angry with me. But I did not feel anything like that. On the contrary I did not want to talk to him.

“I’m late” I lied.

I was dressed and ready to leave. Staying longer than a second with Gabriel had no desire.

“Take coffee on the path” he responded cheerfully.

My nose immediately caught the scent of stinky drink, which he called coffee. The head in a moment began to spin. And I felt sick.

“I’m late” I muttered, and jumped out.

Fresh air quickly pulled out of my lungs unpleasant odor, and I felt better.

I quickly drove to HelpRed. Usually journey took about half an hour, but this time, I reached in half the time. Valentina and Taylor were not. It was not surprising, since it was still too early. Before training a little less than an hour left.

I took notes and went to the stadium. Huge stadium was for HelpRed, belonging to the athletes of the institution. It was the only place where I could gather all the ideas together and work out. Yesterday, I could only think about Ryan so not prepared for classes.

It cost me a lot of effort to collect all my thoughts together and focus on the gnarled entries in my notebook.

“Hello” deep male voice came over my back.

I whirled. From flick my book fell to the ground.

“Hello” I was surprised.

Ryan stood in front of me. It looked, as always, superb; tall, strong and confident. So I characterized this man. His heart pounded in his chest. Ryan slowly took notebook from the floor and handed it to me.

“Hold” he smiled.

I felt like a complete fool.

“Thank you” I took a notebook and stuffed in into the bag.

“I wanted to apologize for last night said goodbye to you so …” he tried to find the words.

Oh no, I could not let him feel uncomfortable because of yesterday.

“No, stop. All is well. What are you doing here?” I tried to look normal.

“My friend is studying here. He is an athlete” he said.

Now it was clear that he did in this stadium. It is ridiculous to admit it, but at some point I thought he came to me. But it was impossible. He said that his heart was occupied by someone else, so …

“Okay” I was about to leave.

I was breathing heavily beside him. The body too much reacted to his presence, and I was scared that I could not control it. I stood up abruptly. All swam in my eyes and legs gave way spontaneously.

“Nina!” Ryan instantly grabbed me around the waist.

He pulled me to him and anxiously looked in my eye. I knew that this dizziness could be due to my hunger strike. In fact, I almost forgot the whole week for breakfast and dinner. Well, except for yesterday’s croissants that Ryan fed me. At lunch I ate just because Valentina and Taylor made me.

“I …” it was hard to say when he was so close.

Ryan carefully removed a strand of hair from my face and looked at me. I held on to his strong hands and tried to hide my embarrassment.

“Nina, you did not eat again?” he looked angrily at me.

I could not understand why he was so interested I eat or not. That was weird.

“No, I just …” I pulled away from him.

Ryan looked at me with displeasure. I felt his gaze with every fiber of my soul.

“I’m sorry, I just can spot when a person does not eat” he sighed.

I looked at him questioningly.

“I’m a doctor” if he wished he told me this.

Of course, he’s a doctor. How could I not guess?!

“Good.” I laughed.

“Nina, hello” Valentina suddenly came up to us.

I could not understand how she found me here. Generally, we did not go to the stadium.

“Who is this?” she was smiling like crazy.

Her question was very correct, but in me for some reason this caused a strange sensation. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Ryan began to get nervous.

“This is Ryan” I did not look at him.

Valentina mysteriously looked at me, then at Ryan.

“Hi, I’m Valentina” she told him.

He smiled tightly. I could not understand why he was uncomfortable.

“Okay, we need to go” I hinted to her and nervously ran by my hand through my hair.

“Nina, who gave you that ring? This is me getting married, not you” she abruptly yanked my hand and stared at the ring.

I never pay attention to it. It was as if normal that my ring finger has a ring. But usually it is worn when engaged. And I had not even a boyfriend.

“I don’t know.” I, too, stared at the ring.

“This is brilliant” Valentina screamed with delight.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Ryan began to smile. I had not understood the reason for his smile.

“Come on” I growled and pulled my hand away.

Ryan smiled at me. I felt my cheeks flushed.

“I have to go. Nina, promise me that you will eat” he whispered, leaning a little to my ear.

Valentina stood with a smile and looked at us. She clearly imagined something, because the smile on her face was unhealthy.

“You did not tell me that you have such a friend” Valentina pushed me in the shoulder when Ryan was gone.

I slyly smiled and grabbed the bag and tried to leave. But Valentina did not allow me to do that. She followed me and kept telling me about her fantasies about Ryan. I can not say that I did not like to hear it, but I could not recognize myself in it.

“I was looking for you” Taylor saved me from her stories.

“Nina have new friend” she teased me.

I looked at her threateningly. But Valentina ignored it.

“It is very impressive” she continued to tease me.

I took a deep breath. I could not say anything, because she was telling the truth. I also think Ryan was very impressive. And my body constantly reacted to him in a strange way.

“Okay” mysteriously, Taylor looked at me.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation and looked at them accusingly I went to the main entrance. The lecture was to begin in a few minutes and I was very happy about it. Continue to listen to silly jokes from Taylor and Valentina I did not want.

During the lecture I was constantly catching eyes of Valentina on myself. She could not calm down because of the meeting and explore with Ryan. This was all Valentina. She always egged me to start dating with some guy just because she felt it was time.

She looked at me, I thought, every second. From her eyes I was not just uncomfortable, I really felt bad. In the eyes of all started to blur, and I felt a little dizzy. Then I felt a strong nausea. I kept struggling. I wanted to get away from the audience and hide from everyone. I tried to breathe and focus on pleasant thoughts. Ryan appeared in my head at once. I remembered how he grabbed me and hugged. Aching appeared in the abdomen. But I could not stop thinking about him. I did not know, as I looked at the time. A stupid smile was on my face, but in any case I could not stop it.

At the end of the lecture, I did not wait for Valentina and Taylor, as usual did. I did not want to listen to them again, the jokes about Ryan.

When I arrived home, Gabriela was not. I felt a great relief because of this. Going into my room, I first visited the toilet. I just turned inside out. I could not understand what my body was trying to throw out, because in the morning I did not eat anything. I felt myself very bad. I sat next to the toilet and just prayed for it ended. I pulled out a few times. I only had the strength to crawl into a corner in the bathroom. The whole body was shaking for some reason, and I could not understand what I needed to do. The house was empty, and even if I was going to die, I had no one to help.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. I had to get up and open the door, but I could not. Exhausted, I leaned against the wall in the bathroom. I knew that the guest would leave, if I will just ignore it pushy calls at the door. But the calls were continuing. I nervously washed and went to the bottom. Legs barely held me, and I myself wondered how I was able to go down the stairs without getting hurt.

“Ryan” I stared at him.

He looked at me steadily, though his arrival was commonplace. In his hands was a paper bag. Later I found out that it was the food.

“You look bad” finally his confidence disappeared.

He looked at me excitedly. Without waiting for an invitation, Ryan crossed the threshold of my house and ended up in the living room. He nervously pulled out all the contents of the package and put it all on a small table near the TV.

“I’m starting to worry. What are you doing here?” I closed the door with trembling hands.

Ryan was not at all embarrassed by my question. He straightened his back majestically and approached me.

“I’m a doctor, and I knew that the end of the day you will be bad” he took my hand and looked at me sternly.

His words sounded convincing.

“You brought food. Will you feed me as a child?” I chuckled pointing to the products lying on the table.

Ryan looked at me with incredible tenderness. My heart sank. His eyes seemed touched the depths of my heart.

“You’re right.” he sat me down on the couch and put hands on a jar of food.

There was a fish with an incredible aroma and potato slices.

“This food should be tasty” I muttered, looking at a piece of fish.

“Just eat it” he handed me a fork and sat down.

“You’re going to watch like I eat?” I was worried.

He leaned back and smiled at me.

“Otherwise, I will not be sure that you will have eaten all that I have brought for you” he said.

I looked back at the fish. For the first time in a long time I felt hunger. I really wanted to eat. I took a small piece of fish and put it in my mouth. It was a great taste. I had never eaten anything tastier in my life. Although, maybe it was a result of my week-long hunger strike.

“Delicious. Thanks” I forced myself to break away from the food and thank Ryan.

He gave me a gentle look, but said nothing.

“You said earlier that you had a girlfriend?” I could not explain why I started to be interested in it.

I needed to know how much he loved her. I needed to know whether there is a place in his heart for me.

“Yes, Nina. I love this girl” impressively he said every word.

My name sounded particularly expressive. I felt guilty for asking him about it.

“She was great and I loved her. But sometimes you have to forget your ego and let go” he added.

In his words it was hidden any sense, and I could not understand what.

“And she is, she loved you?” I asked, realizing that he did not mind talking about it.

“I’ll ask her” he smiled.

What is the meaning of these words? After all, he said, that they are no longer together. How he was going to ask her about that?

“When people love each other they should be together” I started talking platitudes.

Ryan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It seemed to me that my words were hurt him.

“I did not mean …” I started to apologize.

“No. You’re right. You’re right” he interrupted me.

His hand gently touched my cheek. He looked at me with sad eyes and soaked in pain. I struggled to calm the tremors, but his touch and sight were simply suicidal.

“I’m sorry” I felt severe nausea.

My brain immediately responded. I jumped up from the couch and rushed upstairs. Only near the toilet, when all the food that I had just aten, went outside, I realized that it was the worst thing that could happen to me.

“Nina, you’re right” Ryan stood in the doorway.

“Wait, do not come in” I yelled and nervously down the toilet seat.

“Come on.” he came to me and sat down.

I cringed with shame. It was hard to believe what was happening.

“Nina, this is serious. If you do not start to eat, it could end badly” he took my face in his hands.

It was hard to breathe. My whole body tensed immediately. Abdomen, I felt the familiar excitement. I felt it every time when Ryan touched me.

“Just. I can not eat. I do not want to eat and it’s a stupid smelly coffee, which Gabriel watered me … I did not specifically do it all” the tears rolled down my cheeks.

I did not understand why I wanted to cry. I struggled with escalating wave of tears.

“Do not drink it failed drinks. I’m ready to feed you every day. Okay?” he wiped a tear from my cheek and smiled.

I felt a little easier myself. I’d like to cuddle up to him, but that would be too weird.

“Thanks” I said, and pulled away from him.

Steps were heard below.

“Nina!” Gabriel called me.

I started nervous. How could I explain the presence of Ryan in the house?

“I’ll go through the window, okay” Ryan was reading my mind.

I thought that I could have shoved him through the window, like in the movie, but I was not comfortable to offer it to him. Although it was a good option.

“Okay” I shook my head.

Ryan climbed through the window and I floor down.

“You order food?” Gabriel standing near a table where an empty jar from under the food was.

I panicked. I did not like to lie, but at that moment I had no way out.

“Yes” I said dryly and collected garbage in the bag.

“Do you feel good?” he looked at me.

Well, except that today I pulled out about four times, and that the third day I did not want to live, I felt fine.

“Why do you ask?” I replied evasively.

“Nina, you’re pale and dark circles under the eyes disturb me” he muttered, pulling my chin from side to side.

I was disgusted when he touched me. It was strange, because a week ago, I loved him so much. And now, my attitude was more like hostility, than love.

“Come on. I’m fine” I smiled through the power and moved away from him.

He looked at me thoughtfully.

“Good. Then have dinner with me” suggested Gabriel.

I immediately remembered the words of Ryan. He told me not to eat with my father. Of course, I did not think that the food of my father, well, or the lousy coffee was the cause of my illness. But for some reason I really did not want to eat with him.

“I’ve already eaten” I shook the empty cans in front of his face.

He looked at me in frustration, but did not object.

Chapter 3.

I have remembered…

Ryan was waiting for me in a small cafe near the HelpRed. For the past week, we had breakfast and dinner together. Next to him, I felt more than just good. I was no longer sick and purple circles under the eyes gradually began to disappear. With Ryan I had a lot of fun. He always made me laugh. And I did not mind.

“This is for you” Ryan Ross from his chair, when I entered the cafe.

It was a very small cafe with a strange name “Broken.” Of course, when Ryan jumped all visitors of this institution stared at him. In his hands he had a small red Ross on a short stalk. My heart pounded.

“Thank you” I lifted velvet flower to my lips.

The flavor was amazing.

“I see you going on the mend” he whispered, helping me to sit down.

I smiled. I was pleased.

“I should thank you for it” I said.

Ryan sat in front of me. A small kettle with tea and empty cups stood on the table. He artfully filled one of them and gave it to me. His gestures had so much exciting moments. For example, when I took out of his hands tea, we did not touch each other greatly. But this touch aroused a strange feeling in me. He excited me and I started to depend on him. The time that I spent between breakfast and dinner or between dinner and breakfast was unbearable. I would always be with him. I could not explain why.


I walked her to HelpRed. To part with her was just unbearable. I tried to explain to myself that I had to keep a distance between us. But was it possible?!

I was feeding Nina for a week. She was prettier in my eyes. I mean, she no longer looked so pale and tortured. Gabriel apparently led some game, and I needed to know what he was up to.

I rang the doorbell. Gabriel did not work, because he believed that it was not required. This meant that he was home all alone. I decided to take advantage of it.

“I knew you’d come” Gabriel abruptly opened the door.

I ignored him. From my side, and it was very nice that I took the door, and not just burst into his house in my own way. I pushed him off the road and went into the house.

“What the hell are you doing, Gabriel?” I turned to him.

I was shaking with anger. I saw that he understood what I was saying. But it did not bother him.

“Come on. I’ve already told you that she is mine” he said blankly.

“What do you mix in her food?” I decided to ask him a direct question.

Gabriel smiled mischievously.

“This drink suppresses her memories. You are not in her memory, but her body … It remembers you, so every time you find yourself next to her my drink starts to act not in the best way.” he said.

He did not care at all that Nina could not eat the food, and suffered from constant dizziness and nausea. He tried to blame me, and to what extent he was right. I knew I was not supposed to approach her, but I just could not do otherwise.

“Do not ever drink anything of it. I do not care, she loves you or not. But if she will be going to suffer because of you I kill you” I approached him very closely.

Gabriel stiffened. He understood what I was telling the truth.

Suddenly, I heard the front door open.

“You did not come alone?” Gabriel looked at me anxiously.

I shook my head. Gabriel peered from the living room. His face froze horror.

“Nina!” he shouted.

My heart seemed to stop. The hands were cold. I froze with fear and horror. But it did not last that long. I quickly rushed to the door. Nina was standing near the stairs. Her hands were covered in blood, and her face tear-stained.

“Ryan” she whispered and collapsed on the floor.

Gabriel caught her head to soften the blow. I immediately rushed to him. Nina was very pale. I nervously undid her blouse and lifted blouse. I could not understand where she was bleeding. Jeans I have found a great red spot.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel looked strange.

His eyes were wide with terror. I tried to stay calm, but inside I was all ready to die.

“She has bleeding. Bring warm water” I picked Nina up from the floor.

She was unconscious, and I could not ask her where she ached. This greatly complicated the situation. I gently laid her on the bed.

“What with her?” Gabriel came after me.

A cup with water and towels were in his hands. His question broke out as if through me. I could not believe my thoughts. As it was painful to believe.

“She could be pregnant, and …” I growled through clenched teeth.

Bleeding was talking about this. Nina could wear our baby and …

“Your drink … If something happens to her…” I furiously snatched from his hand towels.

At some point I realized that for me it was important that Nina was right. Perhaps I would be the happiest person if she gave birth to me son or daughter, but … I would have sacrificed for the sake of this that she was alive.


It was hot, very hot. I wanted to open my eyes, but I could not. I heard the voice of Ryan. He reassured me, saying that everything would be fine. It was a strange feeling.

Images began to flash before my eyes. Ryan is in front of me on his knees and puts the ring on my finger. He seemed to say goodbye. I felt panic and the incredible pain in the chest. Then the picture changed. Now Ryan is kissing me. I felt his touch. He gently puts me on the bed and then I just drowned. All of these images were memories. I have remembered every last detail. I have remembered how much I loved Ryan, each moment when we were together. I remembered our last conversation, and that he was going to be close. Yes, he was there, only I dare to forget everything. When we said goodbye, I believed that no spell would not be able to let go of my heart Ryan. But I was wrong. I spent not remembering him for almost a month. Whole month. From these thoughts, I began to choke. I could not believe it was true.

“Nina” Gabriel grabbed my hand when I opened my eyes.

I pulled my hand away. Tears ran down my cheeks. I did remember that Ryan was near. Looking around the room by look, I realized that Ryan was not. Gabriel did not stop to say my name. I anxiously looked at him. Should I tell him what I thought!? I remembered his reaction when he took me out of Ryan. Yes, to tell him that I thought it was stupid. But I had to see Ryan. I abruptly got out of bed. Gabriel with astonishment looked at me.

“I … What happened?” I realized that to leave now just was not possible.

“Nina, you felt bad, and I brought you home” he lied.

I remembered very well what happened. I remembered the blood on my jeans, and remembered that I came home by myself. Why was he lying to me?!

“Yes. I do not remember” I lied to him, too.

Gabrielle exhaled with relief and looked at me tenderly. I felt sick from his sight. How much he lied to me?!

Gabriel left the room. I quickly dressed. I felt that I need to see Ryan as soon as possible. But I could not think of an excuse to leave the house.

“She is mine. I’ll help you regain Ryan. You take him, and I take her” I heard the voice of Gabriel.

Quietly sitting on the stairs milestone, I was listening. Gabriel’s voice, I have known. But the second voice was not familiar to me. I leaned a little to see with whom my father said.

“I agree” a tall old man replied.

How could I trust my memory, it was the grandfather of Ryan. He and my father wanted to separate us. Of course, I realized that Gabriel rescued me from his benefits. My heart began to beat wildly. From their conversation, I realized that they were going to cause a pain to Ryan. I could not let that happen.

Through the door I could not leave. I remembered Ryan went through my window. I quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door. Climb through the window was not so difficult, but to down from the roof … I quietly made its way through the thicket of branches. But I got caught on one of the branches and flew headlong down. In the fall I issued no sound. I was not even hurt.

Sitting in the car, I noticed that there was blood on my knees. On the right leg jeans were torn and broken knee, from which oozed blood was sticking out. On the one hand, right in the palm the skin was broken. I did not feel hurt. Although, I could not think about the pain. All thoughts were occupied by Ryan.


I was sitting on the porch. I did not have the strength to go to the house in which I was happy with Nina. Before my eyes there was only blood on her body. I promised that I would protect her, and did not fulfill the promise. I hated myself and could not find any argument to continue to live.

Cold drops started to fall from the sky suddenly. For the fraction of a second light rain turned into a downpour. I took off the jacket and torn shirt on my chest. Tears flowed from my eyes. I felt lousy. Very lousy. I angrily took off my shoes and threw it to the side.

I was going to go out in the rain then cold drops sank into my skin, and a little help ease the pain in his chest. I slowly got up and got ready to make a move. I was interrupted by a loud scream. I looked up sharply. Nina was running in my direction. I instinctively rushed to meet her.

“Nina” I cried like crazy.

She was close to me. Her cries came through the rain. I raced to meet her until, until she was in my arms. I hugged her so hard, burying in her wet hair by my face. Only after some time I realized that I did. I did not want pulled away from her. I knew that she did not remember, and my behavior was not clear to her. The chest pain reappeared. But what was she doing here? The street was already night and a visit at this time do not go.

“They’re coming for you. They tear us apart again” she looked at me anxiously.

A mask of pain was on her face. I could not understand what she was saying, so I just stood silently and stared at her.

“I love you, Ryan, love” she screamed and her lips touched mine.

I could not believe what was happening. Nina shivered, whether from fear or from the cold. I hugged her close and tried to gather. I knew that now was not the time for self-pity.

I quickly picked her up and entered into the house. Nina clung tightly to me. Her lips were trembling. I felt this trembling on my neck.

“Nina, what happened?” I tried to look normal.

Although after our passionate kiss, it was hard to behave normally. I missed her. I wanted to hold her close and kiss until the end of my days. I just wanted to eternity, embracing her.

“I have remembered everything” Nina was crying.

I looked at her tears and was ready to destroy the whole damned world because she was unhappy.

“Ryan, please, I can not without you again” she grabbed my shoulders and her cry began louder.

I stood there and said nothing. My heart was beating languidly and I just tried to do the right thing. But how? I had to convince her that she was wrong. She stood in front of me in tears, with swollen lips after a passionate kiss…

I knew that the end had come. Gabriel saved her only on the condition that I would not be with her. I was afraid that he could take her from me. Feeling myself pushed into a corner, I fell to my knees in front of her. Nina sat down beside me. She excitedly looked around me. With her little hands she held me by the shoulders.

“Please do not be silent. Please do not be silent” she whispered.

I gave up. My hands gently wrapped around her waist and I held her close.

“How I miss you” I whispered, burying in her soft neck.

I heard languorous breath of Nina I heard the sound of her heart and knew that she was all my life. I did not want to never let her out of my hands. Never ever.


Ryan pulled me to him too much. I was pleased to be back in his arms, but I also knew that we had little time. I reluctantly pulled away and looked at him. Wet hair like icicles hung on his face.

“Your grandfather came to my father. They decided to separate us.” I tried to convey to him the importance of my words.

But Ryan did not listen to me. He slowly raised his hand and touched my cheek. I feel like I got to heaven. But it was dangerous to be distracted.

“I love you so much, Nina Ross” he whispered, not paying attention to my words.

“Ryan, please, listen to me. I do not want to live without you again” I started to cry again.

It was painful to even think about it.

Ryan finally realized the seriousness of my words. He quickly got up from the floor and lifted me up.

“We have no time.” he said vaguely, uneasily looking round the hall by look.

I knew what he was talking about the possibility of escape. We did not have time to sit in the car and go away.

“But you can transport us …”

Ryan nervously began to shake his head.

“Last time you fell into a swoon. No” he began to make excuses.

“Please. If they find us … I do not want to …” I again became hysterical.

Ryan nervously grabbed my face and kissed on the lips. I clung to him and closed my eyes. I realized that I convinced him.


I moved her to a small house on the island. I bought it even when Nina was not born. It seemed to me that I should use life to the maximum. In heaven I was rejected. More precisely, I rejected them. I put everything on the card for the opportunity to fight with shadows. And the purchase of the house was, as it seemed to me a distraction. Then I could not imagine that Nina would be in my life and I would love her more than whole my life. I could not imagine that we would have to flee to save our love. Now I was grateful that I bought this house, not knowing it all.

Nina lost consciousness almost immediately. I gently laid her down on the bed. When she did not remember me, I used to watch her sleep. It was the best sight of all that I had ever seen. She was so insecure and quiet.

In a moment I remembered that I was going to leave her life forever. I was going to disappear, thinking that so to save her. But I was wrong.

“Hello” I saw that Nina opened her eyes.

She smiled her charming smile and fondly looked at me. She always looked at me like, impregnated with love, look.

“Ryan” her smile gave way to anxiety.

She jumped sharply and started around the room.

“They will not find us” I whispered to comfort her.

Of course, I understood why she was so nervous.

“I missed” she nervously bit her lip and a tear rolled down her cheek.

The chest ached and I passionately pressed her close.

“I will never leave you, never” I whispered in her ear.

I was not just going to comfort her. I was going to fight for her peace of mind.


To be in the arms of Ryan was incredibly nice. I prayed that everything happening was not a dream and I did not have to come back again to where he was not.

“Promise me that we’ll always be together” I pulled away from him.

I need to hear this promise. I could no longer feel tension inside, fearing that Ryan would disappear from my life.

“Nina, I thought you’d be happy … Gabriel said that would make you happy” Ryan stiffened.

Talk about Gabriel angered him.

“Ryan, how can I be happy when you’re not around” I felt a sharp influx of emotions.

Ryan cupped my face in his hands and looked straight into my eyes. His eyes lit small lights. It was happiness. He was happy.

“I’ll be near always, I’ll be near” he whispered, and pressed to my lips.

This kiss was sweeter than honey. I eagerly grabbed him around the neck. My whole body began to melt with desire. I clung to him so hard to get rid of the distance between us.

“Wait” Ryan pulled away from me.

He was breathing heavily. I could not understand why he stopped. Well, actually I did not want to understand. I needed him, and it was the only thing that I felt at that moment. That was the only thing I wanted to feel at that moment.

“Nina, when you forget me … out of your life, not only erased the memories of me. I have been erased from your life” he spoke clearly.

I did not care, because I did not think he was erased from my life.

“Ryan …” I tried to kiss him.

He strongly pushed me away. I knew that he wanted to inform me about something important. But I could not concentrate.

“Our first contact … Because of this, shade found you. If we will repeat the same mistake, not only shade find us.” he removed the lock from my face.

“The first contact?! We have it already …” I stopped in mid-sentence, realizing that he wanted to explain to me.

“I’m a virgin again??” I whispered.

A blush appeared on my cheeks. I did not know what I felt at that moment.

“I did not know that … I even thought …” Ryan nervously held hands across my cheek.

“What?” I had to know what he was thinking.

The expression on his face, I knew it was important.

“When you started bleeding …” he took a deep breath.

“So you really were there” I tensed.

“Nina, I thought you were pregnant … I’m a doctor, and your bleeding was very similar to pregnancy complications. Then Gabriel told me that it is physiologically impossible.” finally, he expressed his thoughts.

After hearing about the pregnancy in my chest something ached. I never thought about the possibility of having a child from Ryan.

I did not even think about the possibility to become his wife. Realize it was painful, but he was not an ordinary guy.

I began nervously to pull at a ring that Ryan gave me. I knew I had to tell him.

“I love you so much, Nina” he interrupted the silence that emerged between us.

I moved closer to him and buried in his chest. He was important to me, and I was willing to sacrifice a normal life for him.

Chapter 4.

I want…


I sat in front of Nina and watched as she was eating. I was incredibly happy to once again become a part of her life, but it was necessary to consider further action.

I knew that as long as we did not have Nina vicinity, no one could find us. But I was not sure that would be able to stay away from her for too long. Nina did not really understand the danger of the whole event and was trying to seduce me. I saw the sadness in her eyes when I pushed her away. She probably thought I did not want her. But she was wrong. I wanted her more than anything else. Her velvety skin and eyes plucked unimaginable depths of my soul. But I had to control it.

“Why you do not eat?” Nina looked at me.

“I’m not hungry” I said almost without thinking.

Nina pushed away the plate of half-eaten toast and sipped water.

“Speak” she ordered.

She always felt that what I was worried. Yes, I was nervous because of the fact that I could be put and how hungry animal to pounce on her. I knew what it could end up, but I could not control it.

“Eat” I tried to translate the theme.

Nina frowned. She was incredibly sexy when she was frowning or angry. That’s the devil, I began to feel a wave of excitement.

“Well …” I gave up.

I thought I told her about all my experiences, I would be a little easier to control this constant stimulation occurs every time I looked at her.

“You think I do not want you. If only you knew what I feel looking at you … But there are more important things than my selfish desire now to make love to you.” I sat on the floor near the chair where she was sitting.

Nina's eyes widened. She did not expect that I experienced such feelings. But why?? She knew that I felt for her incredible love.

“Sorry. I just …” she nervously bit her lip.

“Tell me” I had to know why she was surprised by my words.

She looked at me shyly.

“I thought that you just do not want” she gasped.

Her words touched me greatly. Why?? How could she think that I did not want her?

“Nina Ross! I want you with every fiber of my soul. I used to think that the meaning of my life was to rid the world of shadows …”

“The appearance of which I am guilty” she interrupted me.

I started to shake my head nervously. She should not have to think so. Should not.

“No. The meaning of my life is to be with you. I love you and that’s all, you hear” I’d like to erase from her mind all other thoughts.

She had to know that I’m her forever. She had to know that I fully belonged to her and only her.

“I will not torture you frank nightgown. I do not want to sleep alone, but you’re right” she kissed me on the cheek and got up from her chair.

I watched as she walked away from the kitchen, and just prayed to God to give me strength to keep calm.


Tears began welling from my eyes. I quickly jumped out of the kitchen and went to my room. It was incredibly difficult to realize that Ryan may never touch me. This constant harassment can never end.

“Ryan” I was scared.

He suddenly flew into the room and quickly went straight to me. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to gulp air. Ryan’s lips in a moment caught me. He passionately grabbed my hair and held her close. I lost my head. His hands too much acted on my brain and body.

“I love you” he whispered, covering my neck with kisses.

“I love you” I said, and put my arms around his neck.

Ryan sharply picked me up and put on the bed. His hot body covered me. He kissed my lips, then neck, and then back lips. I felt the desire grew in the abdomen. “Do not stop!” I begged. And he did not stop. Ryan quickly tore off his clothes. I gently held by hand over his chest. How I did miss this man very much. Ryan confidently leaned over and slid his hand on my chest, stopping at the neck. I felt a familiar pain. It was strange to feel it a second time. But the pain quickly passed and all I felt next was the most enjoyable of my life. I felt like Ryan filled me again and again. Finally, hundreds of fireworks exploded in me and I plunged into a wave of pleasure.


Her limp body lay on my chest. Did I make a mistake?! But even if so, it was the most pleasant and desirable mistake. I probably would have made this mistake a million times, and not a bit sorry to this.

Nina nice slept. Dried tears were on her cheeks. I gently wiped the tracks and put the strands of hair from her face. I would always see her like this. Always.

“Did I sleep for a long time?” Nina suddenly opened her eyes.

When she saw me, she smiled.

“No, you did not” I said and smiled too.

“Well” she moved closer to me and kissed me on the shoulder.

“We need to get up. Now we can not stay long in place” I hugged her close.

Nina took a deep breath.

“Where are we going to go??” she looked at me.

I was going to show her many beautiful places where I had been once, but first we had to go home. Gabriel probably had gone on our search, so we hardly used stumbled upon him.

Chapter 5.

I have made a decision.


Ryan brought me in home with his usual way. This time I got off a little dizzy. Several times he told me he would never do it. But in this situation it would be foolish to fulfill that promise.

“Why are we here?” I sat on the sofa in one of the rooms of his house.

It was the same room where his clothes lay, and a huge bookcase stood majestically in the corner.

“You have to say goodbye to Taylor and Valentina. And you must say to Mr. Gate that you are no longer going to school” he said.

When he spoke about Mr. Gate, the memories surfaced in my mind at once. I remembered that he beat me at that time. How could I forget it!?

“I’m not going to speak with Mr. Gate. I …” I felt uncomfortable.

Ryan almost immediately knew my thoughts. Of course he knew. He saved my life then.

“Sorry. I understand that it’s hard for you, but it should be” a note of guilt sounded in his voice.

Oh now. He should not have to feel guilty because of what is happening.

“It is not difficult” I looked at him encouragingly.

Good. If he asked, so I had to do it. The conversation with Valentina and Taylor promised to be highly emotional.

“What? Are you crazy” Valentina began to cry.

When I arrived at their house, it seemed to me that it was probably not a house, and a cozy nest. Everything was arranged to taste Valentina. Although Taylor was not at all against it.

“Stop it, Nina probably is kidding” Taylor tried to smooth the anger of Valentina.

He looked at me, giving me one last chance to give up my words.

“No. I really need to go. We can communicate with Skype every day” I was trying to find the positive side.

But perhaps these parties simply did not exist.

“Nina, something happened?” Taylor opened his eyes to me.

Valentina began rushing madly around the room. She went from corner to corner, nervously stroking her belly. I felt like a complete fool. Of course, only a fool would report the news to the pregnant girlfriend.

“Forgive me, Valentina, I could not just leave and say nothing” I began to make excuses.

But was my excuse for act?

“You know, if you went and said nothing would be better” she cried.

Her words touched me. Perhaps she was right. I did not wait for any other words I just headed for the exit. It was the right decision it seemed to me at that moment.

When I went out, I was very nasty at heart. But I did, for what had come to this house. Now it was a conversation with Mr. Gate. I took a deep breath and tried to tune in.

Mr. Gate was not in his office. I did not know where I could find him, so I just decided to wait for him near the office.

I did not know how much time I spent waiting. Probably a lot, because during that time, I had a lot to think about.

“Nina, you’re waiting for me?” Mr. Gate interrupted my thoughts.

I was shaken by surprise. I was looking at Mr. Gate and I hated him so much. I remembered his face when he hit me first time. At that moment he hated me, too. But he did not remember anything about it. Perhaps this was a plus.

“Yes” finally I said.

Mr. Gate invited me to go to the office. It cost me a lot of effort to cross the threshold of his office considering the fact that the last time he almost killed me.

“I’m listening” he sat down at the edge of his desk.

I sat down across from him and took a deep breath. I really needed to get myself together and just to inform him about my departure.

“I’m leaving, and therefore can no longer come to school” I said these words in the same breath.

Mr. Gate straightened up and looked at me with a slight grin.

“Does it know Gabriel about it?” he asked.

I was sick of hearing the words about my father. I hated him for all the stuff he had hurt me. He was not nearly my whole life and a month of his presence, he managed to make a muck of almost everything was good between us.

“I don’t think so. He …” I could not find the right words.

“Nina, I know everything. This is the right decision, but only because you do not know everything” he spoke before I could come up with an excuse.

His eyes glittered strangely, and he stood up.

“I just came to say goodbye” I jumped up from my chair and prepared to get out of this office.

“Mr. Gate behaved badly with you. But he had already paid” Mr. Gate face suddenly began to change.

I started to panic. I did not have enough air. I wanted to rush to the exit, but because curious if my body was paralyzed.

“Ryan broke a lot of us. But you know … we have with him something in common. It is you” Mr. Gate turned to me.

His face became slowly blurred. I blinked a few times to bring his vision in order. But nothing worked. Now I had not seen the face of Mr. Gate. Rather, one big black spot was on his face.

“I should go” I rushed to the door.

Mr. Gate or who he was, did not try to stop me. It was good. I ran hard, trying to get home and just forget about this horror.


Nina came home earlier than I expected. She looked a little sad and scared. I had to ask her about everything, but I knew that it could only complicate everything. She had to decide yourself to tell me everything.

“I ordered tickets. Tomorrow morning we have a plane” I said.

Nina silently walked past me and sat down on a chair. My heart ached, looking at her.

“Ok” finally she said.

I walked over to her and sat down. I wanted to, she felt my support.

“I think you’ll like the new place of residence” I tried to switch her attention to the departure.

“Mr. Gate was saying strange things” she looked at me piercingly.

I realized that she was scared. But what frightened her so much?!

“Ryan, he spoke of himself in the third person and his face …” she grabbed my arm.

Her body seemed to seek protection.

“What did you see, Nina?” I asked her.

I had a bad feeling.

“His face probably looked like a dark spot not like face” she smiled.

Her smile was nervous. When she told about the dark spot, I immediately realized that she had seen. It was a shadow. Although, it was just my opinion. I had never seen a shadow. I found them by the smell, but I had never seen a shadow. But Nina, she was special, and it was possible she could see the shadows.

“Tomorrow we will go and everything will be fine” I tried to comfort her.

It seemed to me that she did not need to know about my hunches about Mr. Gate. In her life, so it was too hard.


I just got from the shower. My heart was lousy. Ryan was sitting on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. He was obviously thinking about something.

“Taylor and Valentina did not want to listen to me. Perhaps it is better” I said.

Ryan slowly raised his head and shrugged. Of course, none of us could have known it was better or not.

“You’re going through because of this?” he asked.

“No. I do not think” I went to the bed and sat down next to him.

I was going to hug him, but in my ears suddenly began ringing. I jerked away from him and realized my head to the top. I thought the sound came from there.

“What?” Ryan looked at me anxiously.

His hands immediately grabbed me by the shoulders.

“You do not hear?” I tried to shout ringing.

Ryan clearly could not understand what I was saying.

“He can not hear” suddenly Mr. Gate appeared in the room.

“What?” Ryan continued to look at me.

He really did not hear ringing and did not see Mr. Gate.

“Why?” I turned to Mr. Gate.

He smiled sweetly back and ringing stopped. I took my hands in relief from the ears. I did not like it.

“Nina, who are you talking?” Ryan asked me.

It was not easy to collect in the head right explanation.

“I can show him, but I need guarantees. I do not want he killed me as my brothers” Mr. Gate said.

Although it is unlikely he was. I nodded and Mr. Gate appeared in the room.

“What the hell” Ryan screamed and jumped out of bed.

I quickly grabbed his arm. It cost me a great effort to keep him in place.

“Ryan, listen! We need to listen to him” I whispered to him, trying to switch his attention to myself.

Ryan took a deep breath and his body a little relaxed.

“I hate you, too, although this is difficult given that Nina feels for you” Mr. Gate folded his arms across his chest.

“Good. I am delighted that we understand each other’s feelings” Ryan said and grabbed me by the waist hugged.

“I have to tell you something” Mr. Gate took a few steps towards us and looked at me anxiously.

“We are listening” I was staring right at him.

“Nina, you have something like a God to us” Mr. Gate grinned. “We love you and we are not quite so bad, like you think, Ryan!” Mr. Gate viewed with charity.

His gaze was directed to Ryan.

“I think you’re worse than bad.” Ryan said.

“Good. But Nina … She is expensive to you. We are just like you want to save her” Mr. Gate looked at me.

He looked at me with incredible tenderness. From this view I was not myself. Usually Ryan looked at me like that.

In the air, there was silence. Mr. Gate and Ryan looked at each other with animal eyes.

“And what are the conditions” I broke the silence.

“We will help you regain a normal life, but instead Ryan will give us his soul of angel” Mr. Gate defiantly stared into the distance.

“No” I said without thinking.

Not for anything in the world I would not give anyone the soul of Ryan. It was impossible. I could not imagine life without him momentarily. It was impossible.

“My family and her crazy father will no longer haunt Nina?” Ryan was serious.

I stared at him. How could he even consider the option that Mr. Gate offered? He promised never to abandon me. He promised.

“Ryan what are you carrying? We can not accept that. We can not” I looked from Ryan and appealed to Mr. Gate.

He was with sincere regret looking at me.

“Nina, Ryan. You have to think about it. I understand” Mr. Gate told us.

“No. There’s nothing to think about. Tomorrow we will leave” a sense of rage grew in me.

Mr. Gate last look at me and disappeared.

“Nina …” Ryan turned to me.

He wanted to say again that I was necessary to him and all that. But I did not care. He always sacrificed himself for the sake of my safety. But he never asked me, I was ready to accept it or not.

“No. Shut up. How can you even think about it? You promised we’d be together. You’ve promised” I started bawling.

My hand struck his chest several times. I wanted he said what everything would be fine, that he would never leave me. But he did not say. He just stood there and stared at me. He seemed to have already decided everything, and my words were simply redundant and unnecessary.


Nina did not go to bed. She was sitting in an easy chair and just stared into space. She was hurt. And again I was to blame. When Mr. Gate offered me to save Nina, I immediately agreed. Of course, because it was my only goal. It was the most important in my life, and somewhere in my heart I knew that I could never make her happy. Perhaps that is why it was easy to accept the offer of Mr. Gate. Although, it was not Mr. Gate but the shadow. But I did not care. He could give me her safety, and that was the only thing I wanted.

“Go to sleep” I looked at Nina.

She did not react to my words.

“Nina, please!” I pleaded.

I felt very sorry for her. And I knew that did not deserve her. Understood.


I did not sleep all night. Even when the window became to lighten, I did not notice. All my thoughts were occupied Ryan. I tried to think of a way to keep him. But if there was a way to this???

I was angry. Very angry at him even more angry at myself. Sometimes I was so anxious that we were not those who we were. I wanted us to be a people such as Taylor and Valentina. Then Ryan would not have to sacrifice himself to save me. But we were not the usual…

“Nina” I heard the voice of Ryan.

I did not hear he came in. Or maybe he was sitting next to me all night??

“Were you here all this time?” I stared at him.

Ryan looked unimportant. I knew that he, too, felt bad. He did not want to leave me, but his mania to save me was too strong.

“Please forgive me” he raised his tired eyes and looked straight at me.

I could not see him so exhausted. He suffered from it and I felt even worse.

I slowly came down from his chair to the floor and sat next to him.

“You’ve already decided?” my eyes filled with tears.

I knew the answer to this question. Even when Mr. Gate offered, I knew the answer.

“I love you Nina Ross! I love you” he sighed resignedly.

I feel like I lost my head at these words. Why he was telling me this at a time when we certainly could not have the future.

“Stop. Why are you saying this now? I knew that we would never be a wedding or children or even some normal things … And I did not care. I was just happy to know that we would always be together. Everything else did not matter. And now you’re depriving me of this. Do not say never again the damn words” tears ran down my cheeks.

I was shaking all over. I could no longer bear it. He sat there and seemed to be was so close, but so far away.

I hesitantly removed the ring from my finger.

“Just do not tell me this” I took his hand and put the ring on his hand.

Ryan looked at me with frightened eyes. So I wanted to kiss him and hear what he had changed his mind and I was too important for him to lose. But I knew that his decision would never change. Never.

I packed up. I was more unbearable to be with him. I understand perfectly well what a pain was waiting for me to come. I imagined what I would feel, knowing that he gave his life for the sake of my damn life. But in my life there was nothing but him. The irony is, he thinks he saves me, but in fact it deprives me of my life. He leaves me.

“Where are you going?” his broken voice penetrated to the depths of my soul.

I tried not to look at him.

“I am going home. Gabriel is not there so you do have nothing to worry about” I muttered, without looking up.

“I’ll take you” he snatched the bag from my hand.

I quickly wiped a tear from the cheek and hurried after him. On the way, we was not talking. I waited until the last that he would change his mind. But to no avail. He brought me home and left without even saying goodbye.

Phone rang in the pocket. It was Valentina. I did not want to take up, but she persisted in phoning.

“Nina, why I believe that Ryan is the angel of death?” hysterical laughter was heard in her voice.

“Because it’s true” I did not think to soften its response.

“And then you … Oh, my God” she screamed into the phone.

It was probably a good thing that she remembered. And maybe I was glad to, but I just was not capable of joy or any other emotions.

At home, I put all the things in the closet and take a shower. I thought that I could get better after that.

“I feel guilty” Mr. Gate was sitting on my bed when I got out of the bath.

“What do you want more?” I was too angry at him, so I could not talk properly.

“You have to go back to class. Ryan … We have a plan and you must continue to live as before” Mr. Gate got up and looked at me plaintively.

“Do not be sorry. I’ll come back and do everything as needed. But to return to my old life, I can not” I said, and took a step back.

I said everything I wanted to say. I did not want to see Mr. Gate, because he reminded me of all the shit in my life.

Chapter 6.

Get hope.


Nina left. For several days I did not see her. Gate told me his plan, and it plan quite could safe her. He assured me that I had nothing to fear. Nina was safe, and that was the main thing.

What about our plan. This was one of the best ideas in my mind. My grandfather wanted my soul. He wanted to bring me back into the family and Gate was ready to offer it to him. Instead, my grandfather would have done so that no angel could never come to earth. This meant that Nina’s father or someone else could never reach her.

Nina thought the plan was slop, because then we could not be together. But if we remove this fact, she could have anything else. In my opinion, it was not bad. I was absolutely not care about that at the same time I would be testing. I did not care about myself because her life could be safe.

“Gabriel does not appear for a long time. Your grandfather could betray us?” Gate suddenly appeared in the room.

The fact that my grandfather was able to betray was the absurd. But Gabriel could guess everything and come up with a plan.

“You know it is impossible. Gabriel will sooner or later and Nina …” it was hurt to talk about her.

I had to forget about my feelings for her, or at the last moment I could just give up our plan and spoil everything.

“She is alright. She’ll be fine” Gate came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

The gesture probably had to console me. However, this effect was not. I walked away from the Gate and took a few deep breaths. It was necessary to focus on the business.


“Nina, stop sleeping” Valentina pushed me in the side.

In almost all of the audience looked at me. Most of all, I had to say something. But what?

“I do not know” I whispered, and everyone started to laugh in the audience.

“Nina, are you okay?” Valentina did not lag behind.

I was not okay. I sat in the audience, which really did not know anyone and in front of us some guy spoke about something and I did not know him too. Was I okay??

“Mr. Gate with Ryan likely discusses the plan of my salvation.” I muttered, nervously stuffing the notebook into a bag.

I needed to see them both.

“Where are you going?” when I stood up, everyone was staring at me.

I looked at Valentina.

“I want to say Ryan as mush I love him. I may not have this chance more” I smiled.

Valentina and Taylor looked at me startled. Their fear was not in vain. A plan my future life had matured in my head. And you know, it was pretty short life. I told Ryan I did not want to live without him. These were not empty words. I really did not want to live without him.

“Nina, I missed” the familiar voice rang out behind.

I did not have time to walk to the car. Gabriel must have waited a long time to catch me alone. Usually next to me someone was, but not now.

“I’m not” I defiantly turned to him.

“I thought that you and I could start life anew. We are able to live as a daughter and father” he spoke very serious things, but on his face there was nothing but a silly grin.

“I need to rush to your neck after these words?” I crossed my arms.

It was cold outside. Of course because it was winter. Snow certainly had not yet fallen, but it was cold.

“Stop. We can agree. I know what you have in mind. I was tormented by one question. Do you agree to lose a loved one in order not to see me in your life?” he stared at me.

Of course, I was not ready, but I was not asked too much.

“You … Just go away” I replied shyly.

Probably, I would like to agree with him and stop this wacky plan for my salvation. But I could not go against Ryan. I could not betray him.

“Oh no, sweet!” he came up to me even closer.

His eyes filled with rage. He abruptly grabbed my hand and then… And then I woke up in a strange house. I immediately guessed that he brought me by his angel way. When Ryan did so, I was lasting consciousness. It happened at this time.

“In fact, Nina. I hate you” Gabriel was sitting on a chair.

I got up from the floor. Looking around the room, I realized that it was nothing other than a chair on which he sat.

“Me too” I did not give importance his words.

Gabriel stood up and approached me. His hand in an instant slapped me in the face and I fell to the floor again. He hit me several times more painful than Mr. Gate at that time. Head began to spin and I could not get up. Gabriel sat down beside me and grabbed me by the hair, forced me to look at him.

“Elizabeth so loved you that betrayed our love. She promised to love me forever, but you came” he spoke with such fury.

Conversations about my mother always made me cry, but I was not only hurt by the fact that she was not there, I was just hurt. Physically hurt.

“I thought that love you. You’re so much like my Elizabeth … But no. I hate you and it’s always” he pushed me and I hit by my head on the floor.

Gabriel stood up and made a small semi-circle around the room.

“I would love to kill you, but I need Ryan” he said casually.

I gathered all the strength and climbed on all fours. In the eyes of all swam. I had to get up and do something, but my body seemed lost all power. I struggled with my weakness, I thought, too long. And in the end, I gave up.


Gate had to find Nina and made sure she was all right. I did not know why, but I was lousy at heart. I was worried about her. But I could not go to her myself. I should not have to see her otherwise it could result not well.

Having spent a few hours with no news, I packed up and went to HelpRed. Gate said that she had classes until the evening, so I was hoping to find her there. The car of Nina was not standing in the parking lot, so I had almost no doubt that she was okay. In HelpRed I had a lot of people, so Gabriel could not hurt her.

“Ryan?” Valentina called me when I was about to leave.

“Hello” I said dryly.

Valentina noticeably put on weight since our last meeting. Nina and I never talked about her friends. Maybe we just did not have time for it.

“Where’s Nina?” she looked at me nonchalantly.

Why she was asking me about Nina!? She had to be here with her.

“Why do you ask? We had a …” I put hands in pocket.

It was not easy to talk about our complex relationship with Nina.

“Because she was going to you” Valentina took a few breaths and a little nervously clutched her stomach.

To the naked eye, I realized that she was expecting a child. Why Nina never told me about this?!

“Are you okay?” I caught her by the elbow.

“With her in fact, nothing could happen? I know everything … With her … after all” she could not finish the sentence.

I quickly looked around. I had to get her somewhere. But there were no benches nearby.

“What happened?” Taylor flew to us.

He was not very friendly to me.

“Sat her down. She needed a break” I said, handing Valentina to him.

My heart was beating wildly. I foresaw trouble.

I could not immediately find the Gate. At one point I even thought that he just betrayed me and left.

“I’ve searched everywhere. She was not at home” Gate was breathing heavily.

I nervously ran by hand through the hair. I had to come.

“I can help” my grandfather suddenly appeared beside me.

Usually, I was not happy to see him. But not now.

Nina was lying on the floor. Her face had a few bruises and was bleeding from the nose. I did not hesitate, rushed to her. She was unconscious. I almost did not hear her heartbeat. Gate pushed me aside and sat down next to her.

“Wake up, my dear” he whispered, pushes her hair back from her face.

I could not move. Seeing her like this was not just painful, it was unbearable.

“Gabriel is here. I think we can begin” the grandfather came to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

I was silent for a few minutes. It was hard to say anything. I knew it was my last chance to save her.

While Gate concerned about Nina, I searched the whole house. Gabriel was not there. More precisely, he was somewhere, but I could not find him. Grandfather repeated that he was here, but I could not find him.


“Nina, look at me” Mr. Gate held my chin.

Several times I looked around the room. Gabriela was not there and Ryan was not there, too.

“I’m fine” I pulled away from Mr. Gate.

My whole face was covered by heat. I touched the forehead and felt a dull ache.

“He injured you badly. I’m sorry that I was not there …” Mr. Gate stood, and I hurried to do the same.

“Ryan …” I started to cry.

Really, as I traced, Ryan sacrificed himself.

“Nina” I heard a voice behind.

I slowly turned around. Ryan was at the door, alive and unharmed. I covered my mouth with hand, trying to stifle sobs.

“I’m sorry” in an instant Ryan was close.

He pulled me to him. I pressed to his chest and let my emotions get out.

“I thought …” I clung to him even closer.

Ryan kissed the top of my head. I miss him. I did not want to worry about what would happen. I needed to be with him as much as possible. I just had to be with him.

“Good to see you, Nina” the old man was standing near us.

He drew my attention.

“We might have to go” said Mr. Gate, having taken me and Ryan with casual look.

After a moment, only I and Ryan were in the room.

He stood next to me, not taking his eyes from my face. Most likely, he looked at my bruises than me. Again, he felt guilty. I saw it in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I left. Of course, I do not think you change your mind …” I looked down on the floor.

He should not blame himself. I was to blame in it. If I had not gone, nothing would have happened. I lost a few days which I could be with Ryan.

“Nina, I can not always live with the thought that you are not safe” Ryan took out a ring.

I gave it to him when he left. I talked a lot to him then, and he gave it to me again. We probably just could not have a happy future. Although to be with him was so great happiness. He gently took my hand and put the ring on the ring finger, where it was before.

“I …” my heart started pounding.

“I was not supposed to fall in love with you, or at least should not have let you in love” he nervously smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

Perhaps, in his words there was something. But I did not want to change anything. He was the only important thing in my life.

“When it’s over, you’re going to live … You just get back in your life and everything?” I had to make sure that nothing would happen with him.

When Mr. Gate said it was necessary to replace the soul of Ryan, I thought he wanted to kill him. But just now, I realized that he just would come back into his life, to his family. I was enough to know that.

“No. I will not return to my family. Do you remember saying that to find way to me? I will find the way to you too. You were able to see me when I was an angel of death. We can go through it and I will find how to get back to you” Ryan held a hand through my hair.

Yes, of course I remembered, what I promised him when I was dying. I fulfilled the promise, and perhaps there was a chance that he made it too.

“Good. I’m just going with you …” I clung to his lips.

I started to have a hope that maybe it could end well.

Chapter 7.

Last happiness.

Nina and I were spending every minute together. I knew that soon I would not be able to touch her, so I tried to get enough of her. But in any case, I was not enough of her.

Gate and my grandfather tried to find Gabriela. Without him we could not carry out our plan. Sometimes I was glad that they did not find him, because in this case I and Nina had more time to be together. But on the other hand … We had to get it over with quickly.

I am with pain in my heart was looking at Nina. Her face had a few scratches. I would just break Gabriel because he touched her. But he needed alive.

“Tell me about your life there” Nina looked up to the sky.

We sat on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, and just enjoyed each other.

“There’s no life. My life is here” I kissed the top of her head and held her tight.

“I just want to know, what you usually do there. You know, when you will go, I just want to be able to represent what you’re busy there. I’ll wake up and the first thing I want to know what you’re doing. Do you sleep or have stood up too …” she whispered.

But her whisper was louder than anything I had ever heard. Her whisper came right up to the bottom of my heart. I took a deep breath, catching the feeling of buzz. My lungs filled with her scent.

“When you will wake up and go to sleep or go to school, you should know I’ll be there. Nina! There, I have no life. Once I was a normal person. I was a doctor. I dreamed saving lives … Then I became an angel of death. It was a twist of fate. I wanted to save lives, and began to take them. And then I did become a murderer, a tyrant.” I winced, remembering that my soul felt before meeting with Nina.

Then I felt an unshakable rage, and my only goal was to kill the shadows. I did not think that killing the shadows, I killed people. Even after I met Nina, I was afraid that I could not change. I was afraid that I would be a tyrant and for her. I never imagined that she would change me so. Never.

“No. You’re just confused. There, in your heart, you’re the best” Nina buried in my chest.

I felt her hot tears on my chest.

“Promise me you’ll wait for me and will never cry. Please Nina” I raised her head and wiped tears from her cheeks.

An innocent joy has disappeared from her sight. She was sad. It was painful to watch.

“How can I promise you?” Nina began to shake his head.

I pressed my lips to her forehead. Her soft skin smelled by Nina. Yes, Nina smelled by Nina. It was difficult to describe exactly what it was for the smell. But I certainly never met anyone with such a fresh and light scent of sweet flowers.


I woke up because of the cold. Ryan was not there. I quickly got out of bed and rushed to the kitchen.

“Good morning” Ryan was preparing breakfast.

He stood at the plate in the same way as before. Before, I forgot everything.

“Good morning” I passed a huge kitchen table and walked over to him.

Standing on tiptoes, I kissed him on the cheek.

“Are you hungry??” he looked at me playfully.

I nodded, unable to suppress a smile.

“Well, Ross! I will feed you for a kiss” he offered his cheek, as if teasing.

I abruptly grabbed his face in hand and clung to his lips. I would like to invest in this kiss of all my love.

“I think it’ll do” suddenly I stepped back for him.

“No” he screamed and clung greedily to my lips.

I do not know how long we were kissing, but it was definitely long. Perhaps it would have been even longer, but there was a smell of burning in the air.

“Your wafer is burning” I pulled away from him.

In a frying pan instead of a delicious waffle was a huge black lozenge.

“No!” he screamed and grabbed his bare hands a hot frying pan.

I laughingly jumped from him.

“You’re hilarious” I started to laugh.

Ryan defiantly looked at me.

“Nina Ross, what do you say?” he was coming up to me slowly.

“Do not you dare…”I knew he was up to.

Ryan smiled in response to his sexy smile and a fraction of a second, once the poison, picked me up. I screamed like a child. Ryan did not pay attention to it. He circled me across the kitchen as long as my head began to spin.

“I’m too strong for you. Sometimes I want to take advantage of it” Ryan dramatically grabbed me around the waist and held me close.

My head was spinning. I clumsily grabbed his shoulders.

“Come on” I pleaded.

I could feel the excitement in the abdomen. Of course, I always felt it, but not as much as now.

“Good. I promised to feed you.” he smiled sweetly.

“You have ruined breakfast” I stared at him with intoxicated eyes.

“I have something else.” Ryan sat me down at the table and walked over to the refrigerator.

“Is this the croissants with mango??” I looked at him incredulously.

Does anyone eat croissants with mango?? And if they exist at all??

“Yeah” he put a plate in front of me.

Croissants looked more than appetizing. I ate one of them with pleasure, without ceasing to look at Ryan. He sat in front of me and watched as I was eating. For the first time it did not bother me. Perhaps when the time comes to say goodbye, you change a lot in relation to man. You start to cherish the fact that previously considered quite ordinary.

At the end of the breakfast, the mood of Ryan had changed because of somewhat. I put the plate aside and went to him. He sat down on his lap I grabbed him around the neck and kissed him.

“Thank you” I whispered.

“I’m glad you liked it. Nina, Gabriel is found. Today … This house is yours now. Please promise me that you’ll be fine” he looked at me piercingly.

I did not expect to have to say goodbye so soon.

“But …” it was hard to say.

I could not promise him that I would be good. How could I promise him that?!

“Please. So I need to know what you will try” he looked at me pleadingly.

“I’ll wait for you as I can, I’ll wait. You just be there and come back” I hugged him.

I had to put a lot of effort to hold back the tears. I knew I had to hold on. Everything had already been decided, and just I had to accept it.

Chapter 8.

I promise to come back …

I looked at Gabriella with an insurmountable disgust. I hated him so much for everything. For the pain he caused me and that took away from me the opportunity to be close to Ryan. Because of him, I had to say goodbye to the favorite person. Because of him, I had to be strong rather than be happy.

“Nina, you have to leave. I’m sorry” Mr. Gate sorry, sincere regret looked at me.

I walked slowly to the Gabriel

“I hate the day when you came into my life. You say you hate me, but if you only knew how much I hate you. Many times I imagined that you and my mother came into my life and we would be happy family” I smiled.

Gabriel looked at me with a charity. Ryan came to me and hugged me by shoulders.

“He is not worth it” he whispered in my ear.

I slowly turned to him. His sad eyes were the native of this land. I ran by my hand down his cheek and lips. I needed to remember what it was like to touch him. I needed to remember what it was to be with him, to feel him. Ryan briefly closed his eyes, basking under my touch.

“I do not want to say goodbye. And we do not say goodbye. I’ll wait” I gently touched his lips.

I wanted this kiss was no passion or sexual attraction. I wanted he felt all my tenderness, all the thrill of my soul.

“I love you, Nina Ross” he looked at me.

His hand slowly wrapped around my fingers. He kissed the back of my hand. The last time I looked at him and took a few steps back, I left the room.

I did not know what was going on. I sat on our bed, which had always been paved with white linens and waited. Do I doubt? Of course. I doubted, but that was not much good. It was decided, and maybe it was the greatest decision of my mistake. But I did not want to be a rebel. I wanted to go in hand with my beloved man. I trusted him more than myself and just wanted we have always been allies. This decision was not easy for both of us. But I wanted to believe the best. I had to believe in the best.


I was back in the space of life. Nina sat on the bed and her tears flowed down her cheeks. Of course, she did not promise me not to cry. After all, she knew she could hardly ever fulfill that promise.

“Is it all?” she looked frightened.

Yes, she could see me only thanks to her gift, to see the angel of death. I hesitantly approached her and sat down.

“Do not be sad” I turned to her and wanted to hold his hand over her cheek.

But my hand was transparent. Neither she nor I could feel the touch. Nina closed her eyes.

“I already miss” by trembling voice she said.

I miss her too. I always needed her. Always.


I could not sleep for a long time. Ryan was sitting next to me, and from it was even harder to sleep. We talked about different topics and almost did not notice that between us there was a huge boundary separating our worlds.

In the morning, when I woke up, Ryan was close. He promised to be always there, and he was.

“I did not wake you?” exhausted, he smiled.

I reached out and sat on the bed, close to Ryan.

“Good morning Ryan” out of habit, I wanted to kiss him on the cheek.

But I had to forget about this habit. Although, I had to forget just for a while. Ryan promised that he would find out and come back to me. I believed him. It was the only thing I could do.

“You know, I would have kissed you and strongly pressed to myself if not for the damn abyss” he chuckled.

I bit my lip by teeth for a moment imagined that this could be true.

In HelpRed I arrived early. I had to meet with Mr. Gate. Though, of course, I knew it was not exactly Mr. Gate, I could not ignore the fact that this man kept all of our institution. Earlier, I’d probably be mad after learning that Mr. Gate is not Mr. Gate. But after all that was happening in my life, I belonged to this normal.

“Good morning, Nina! Do you want some coffee?” Mr. Gate was standing near a huge coffee machine in his office.

By the way, it was a new coffee machine, as earlier in the cabin there were nothing except the printer and computer.

“Good morning, Mr. Gate” I mumbled, and sat down on a chair.

I did not feel insecure with him. Probably because I knew that Mr. Gate within this body was not there. Hence, he could not hurt me.

“Just Cole. Good?” Mr. Gate turned to me.

I forgot his name. He always was called Mr. Gate and Ryan called him by his surname.

“Well, Cole” I squeezed out of myself.

Cole smiled and sat down across from me in his huge leather chair.

“I need to ask you to let me go ahead today” I rubbed my hands on hips and started to leave.

It was weird. I felt powerful. Of course, I knew that Cole would not refuse me, but I had to at least out of respect to ask.

“Nina, something happened?” he looked at me.

His eyes seemed to want to get into my soul, and dig deeper there.

“No. I just wanted to translate all my belongings in the house of Ryan” I replied.

It was very uncomfortable to sleep at home, alone. Especially as I thought it would be wise to move.

“I think … You will not be easy to live in the house where everything will remind you about…” Cole tried to find words.

On the one hand he was right. But he did not realize one thing. In my heart I cherished the hope that Ryan would soon come back to me again, and we would always be together.

When your mind has such thoughts, you forget that we have separated by worlds.

“I do not just live without Ryan. Anything else I can go through” I smiled at him and got up to leave.

Cole jumped up from his chair and bypassed the table, walked over to me. He stood so close that I began to get nervous.

“Nina, please. Start to live again” he whispered.

“I’m trying” I said, still breathless from the nervous tension.

Cole looked piercingly into my eyes and frowned.

“Sorry. This body scares you” he took a few steps back.

I breathed deeply, when the distance between us increased.

“Yes. Perhaps it will never go” I tried to look carefree.

Cole grinned back. He folded his arms across his chest and rested his hip on the table.

“You’re still going to wait for him” he muttered under his breath.

I could not even understand whether it was a question or a statement.

“Thanks” I said, and hurried away.

In the hallway, there were not many people. Probably, because about half an hour was before class.

“Do you really move in?” Ryan suddenly appeared nearby.

He was walking with me in the leg, and I did not stop to imagine that one day we would be here just to go and hold hands.

“Of course” I said, not hiding a smile on my face.

I momentarily felt so warm at heart. Maybe it was because Ryan was near or at the thought that soon I would be living in his house.

“Nina Ross, what are you smiling?” he asked jokingly.

“You know, I’ve just thought of that. Why I do not know your last name?” I entered my mind.

Ryan grinned and stopped. I stopped too. I could swear that it looked too weird. I stopped and turned back to Ryan. While for others, I stood and stared at nothing.

“Ryan Bert” he replied calmly and theatrical inclined to me.

“Well, Ryan Bert” I said, and kept walking.

On the street I saw Taylor and Valentina. They were arguing about something.

“They are the perfect couple” Ryan grinned.

I quickly went down the stairs and rushed towards this restless couple.

“For me, this is important” Valentina screamed when I approached them.

“Nina, thank God” Taylor breathed relief.

“I’m pregnant and I can not be upset” Valentina began to speak in your defense.

Ryan stood by and laughed softly. It was hard for me to keep a smile on my face.

“What the dispute?” I asked, trying to look serious.

“She wants to pay dress for ten thousand dollars. Nina, we have only five thousand” Taylor began to complain.

“Say, that the dress will be our gift.” Ryan whispered to me.

I tensed. Personally, I did not have much money. Therefore, when Ryan said that this dress would be our gift I felt bad myself.

“All my money is yours now. There’s a fortune. By the way, check you had to find today on the table in the hallway.” Ryan said.

I took a deep breath. I had to ask where he had so much money. But I did not ask.

“I think that this dress I and Ryan give to you” I said.

Valentina stared at me. One hand was on her stomach and the other she covered her mouth. She was shocked by the news.

“No.” she started wagging his head.

“Valentina, are you kidding?! A gift can not be selected” I tried to convince her.

“Nina, it’s very strange. You’re too stupid” Taylor said.

These words cost him dearly.

“Stupid?” Valentina kicked him in the shoulder.

She screamed with rage. Of course, the hormones in her played, but a furious and offended, I had never seen her.

“Wait. Stop swearing. Tomorrow we will take to the shops and choose the dress” I stopped brewing war.

“I do not know how to thank you” the mood of Valentina changed instantly and she suddenly hung on my neck.

“When I return, I will embrace you like this every second” Ryan whispered.

Valentina’s hands squeezed my neck and ears, but the words I still could hear. I began to smile like crazy. When Ryan was telling me things like I was melting. Yes, I melted.

Yesterday evening, Valentina called me. She wanted to know what happened to me and if I was still alive? I asked her not to question me anything and just pretend that nothing happened. For the first time in my memory, Valentina did what I asked her.

We were staying there and had a nice conversation for some time. Then we went to a lecture, and were setting there, endlessly smiling. I knew that each of us had a different reason for the smiles. I smiled, because Ryan was sitting next to me and whispered incredible sweet words to me. Valentina was glad that get the dress of your dreams. But Taylor was glad to be alive after a small dispute with Valentina. In general, everything was cool.

As Cole promised me the last lecture I was allowed not to go. Valentina wanted to immediately ask me about it. But she stopped in time, remembering what I asked her.

“I can not look like you’re wearing this gravity yourself.” Ryan swore when I began to load boxes of belongings in the car.

“Stop. I’m fine” I muttered, having pushed the last of the boxes.

“I’m amazed” Ryan stared at me.

I started the car and drove to the main road.

“What?” I could not understand what he was talking about.

“On your beautiful forehead and I do say nothing about the body …” he growled through clenched teeth.

“It is evident that you were beaten and Valentina did not ask you about” breathing in a lot of air, he said.

I wondered that too. On the one hand, of course, it was happy, but mostly, it was surprising. All stared at me by people I passed, but two of my best friends did not pay attention to it. I could not believe that they were the first time in my life I reacted to my request respectfully.

Chapter 9.

A little more than two weeks have passed since world parted me and Ryan. I moved into his house, and I must say, did not expect it would be so difficult. At night, I had nightmares and I, every time, waking up with screaming, saw Ryan. He looked at me with frightened eyes. I saw those eyes almost every night for the past eight days. He could not in any way make me feel better physically, so all he could do not cease to repeat that all is well.

The next night I again woke up covered in sweat and heart palpitations. At this time Ryan was not close. I gave vent to feelings and tears poured from my eyes. I was unbearably lonely and scared at the same time.

A week later, Valentina and Taylor should have been a wedding. I wanted to help her with the organization, but nightmares much exhausted me. I did not tell Valentina about my sleepless nights, but without it, she saw my condition.

I carefully got out of bed and wiped my tears. I wanted to drink, scraping my bare feet on the floor, I headed for the kitchen.

“What the hell” I cried.

Ryan sat in the dark in the kitchen. I noticed him only after I turned on the light. He was upset and did not turn to me when I came in.

“Again nightmares?” he asked finally.

I poured a glass of water and took a few sips.

“Yes” after a pause, I replied.

To say lie was not meaningful. He perfectly heard my cries. But it was not clear why he was sitting in the kitchen and not next to me, as usual.

“What are you doing here?” I asked when the silence between us was almost unbearable.

Ryan sharply jumped up from his chair and rushed up to me. He was too close, but though far.

“I hear your cries and feel your fear. But I can not do anything” if Ryan shouted through clenched teeth.

I knew his feelings. Yes, I realized that every time during the regular nightmare woke up and saw his frightened eyes. I felt lousy because of this.

“No. This is not true. Nightmares are just a nightmare” I started to calm him down.

But my words had on him the desired effect.

“Oh, devil. Nina, I see that these nightmares scare you to the bone and see how you are suffering because of the lack of sleep and ….” he blurted out in one breath.

He wanted to say something else, but he did not. I struggled to hold back the tears that so desperately were trying to escape.

“I’m fine” how I could I calmly said.

But my voice trembled treacherously. I was very afraid that something could change between us. It seemed to me that Ryan was about ready to give up everything, including me, because he was more intolerable to compete with me.

“Do not go” I begged and tears flowed down my cheeks.

Ryan took a step back if I exploded. I could not imagine living without him. It was simply impossible. I just loved Ryan Bert, he was my whole life, clean air molecules. I needed him always.

“I’m not leaving” he looked back at me with his frightened eyes.

“I understand that you tolerate all this hard” I waved by my hands in the air, describing our situation.

Ryan was silent.

“Ryan I just do not know what I would do, if you go. I …” I cried bitterly.

I was shaking all over at the thought that Ryan could simply disappear from my life.

“Nina, Nina. Shhh” he was trying to calm me down.

But it was impossible to stop. While I cried, Ryan had to swear a few times.

“I’m sorry” I gathered myself together, knowing that my tears made him worse.

“Oh my God, I love you, Nina, I love. I do not ever think that I would ever leave. My place is next to you. Even if someday you want me to leave, I would not leave” Ryan whispered, he came up to me very close.

In the morning, Valentina came for me. We were going to go shopping and buy all sorts of stuff. First we visited the lingerie store.

“Well, what am I?” Valentina jumped out of the locker room and started spinning in front of me.

White lace bra and panties were on her. Although panties it was difficult to call. They only covered the heart of a woman’s body, allowing you to contemplate the rest.

“Taylor will be delighted” I said.

Valentina noticeably recovered and her tummy was already a little noticeable. She always looked fantastic. But with a little life inside she was just a goddess.

“Maybe you will try anything” she said.

I was in no mood for shopping. But I knew that Valentina was unlikely to be behind me. Grabbing the first available set, I went into the fitting room.

My set was less open than the set of the bride.

“I wish you” voice croaked behind me.

I looked in the mirror. Behind me Ryan was, he leaned on my shoulder and began to look at me intently in the mirror.

“I would be happy to give you this. But …” I sighed.

I had already ceased to feel uncomfortable, being in front of Ryan in the underwear. But I thought it was a perversion. He was the angel of death, and no one could see him. And he was standing behind me at the time, when I was trying on underwear.

“Red is your color” Valentina, without waiting for me, looked into the fitting room.

I once heard the laughter of Ryan behind. The corners of my mouth involuntarily jumped up.

“I guess” I replied, a little embarrassed because of the compliment.

On the way home, Valentina always was fidgeting on the seat. She several times reviewed our purchases and praised them.

“It is already unbearably to keep silent” finally, she said.

“Look, I can not tell you to start to explain” I said, knowing that she had in mind.

It was foolish to believe that Valentina could too long do not ask me questions.

“Nina, Mr. Gate told me everything. I was just scared. You do not talk about it. It means. You hurt a lot” she stunned me.

“Mr. Gate?” I asked her.

“Yeah. He became a strange and very kind to you.”

I grinned. He was not just good, but began to idolize me. Although it was not Mr. Gate but shadow that thought I was their God.

“Yes, he has changed” I whispered.

“And still. How are you?” Valentina bored me with her gaze.

She sympathized and felt sorry for me, and it was understandable. But I was not ready to accept such feelings.

“All is well. After a week you will be married. I’m very happy” I replied.

“I’m not talking about myself. How are you?” she frowned.

I pressed harder on the gas, but the question was never answered.

I came home very late. I and Valentina fully discussed a plan of action and decided that the day before the wedding she would stay the night with me.

At night I slept surprisingly well. Nightmares did not torment me.

“I was harboring breath each time you was moving in a dream” Ryan looked at me when I opened my eyes.

“Good morning” I whispered.

Ryan smiled gently. I quickly jumped out of bed and went to the kitchen. I tucked a coffee machine and made a cup of coffee myself. Valentina promised to pick me up early so we could have breakfast before the study and chew the fat about the wedding. I knew that Valentina had to wait before the promised time, so I took a quick shower, dry the hair with hairdryer, dressed.

“You know me” Valentina came, as I assumed before.

“Yes” I smiled and jumped in the car.

The street was cool, but there was no snow.

“I’m afraid that my idea with snow wedding will not take place” Valentina mumbled, looking around.

Bare trees and all around were gray. Valentina dreamed of snow wedding, and in return received the gray reality.

“It is not a fact. You have a few days left to talk to God and ask him about the snow” I was joking.

I was in a good mood for several reasons. Firstly, I slept. Secondly, I slept. In general, it was a reason for joy.

“I’m glad you’re having fun” he replied theatrically and pouted.

I smiled and gently pushed her shoulder.

“I am pregnant. Violence is unacceptable” she muttered, and then laughed like crazy.

Very few people were in the cafe. We chose a table in the corner and ordered a coffee and cake. Valentina had eaten two muffins and cake “cream”. I could not understand how she was able to eat as much.

“What?” Valentina noticed that I was staring at her.

“Nothing” I said, although I was very curious to know how she felt after this breakfast.

Before Valentina never allowed herself to have something like that, and even in such numbers.

“I’m pregnant and I have a fat anyway. I wish once in my life to spit on my diet and overeat by cakes” she said, as if she was reading my thoughts.

It was a weighty argument. Probably, all pregnant women ate so much. Sorry that I was not given the opportunity to learn.

“You’ve already chosen a dress?” Valentina asked me.

We just came out of the audience, and she brought back all my life to her wedding. Of course, I was not against it. But sometimes it was boring.

“Yes” I said hoarsely.

I had one dress, which I could not find a reason to dress. It was very elegant and girlish to me. I loved practical clothes. Jeans and shoes were the most suitable for me.

“I understand you” Taylor whispered quietly.

He really understood me. He was very aware of how Valentina eas not easy.

I came home and immediately plopped down on the bed.

“I feel you are very tired” Ryan said thoughtfully.

The more I got used to his unexpected appearance, so every time he started to talk to me in an unexpected moment for me, I was not frightened.

“But we had to go to this wedding together” I felt sad.

Ryan began to smile as some unhealthy. I mean, it had no reason to smile.

“Nina Ross! So I’ll go with you on that damn wedding. Do you know why she was damned? Because it is not our” stop laughing, Ryan said.

I did not expect that he would talk about our marriage. It was too sudden. I awkwardly rolled onto my stomach and grinned.

Ryan looked pretty happy. We chatted to the night and to be honest I would have to talk with him like this forever. However, the need for sleep had played against me. I fell asleep on the most interesting part of our conversation. Ryan told me that was waiting for us ahead. He said that he and I would always be together and that we would be extremely happy. I believed him willingly. I always believed him.

In the morning I woke up in some battered condition. My whole body ached and I had to put a lot of effort to climb out of bed and come to school. Ryan was not there, and I sincerely hoped that he was looking for an opportunity to get back to me at the moment.

Valentina and Taylor could not stop talking about the wedding, scheduled for the end of this week.

“And we’ll have a honeymoon in the summer” proudly Valentina said, focusing attention on her words.

Most likely, she noticed my renunciation of their conversation. I could not stop thinking about Ryan. Already I had dinner, but he did not appear.

“I’m sorry” I whispered.

Hide the fact that their wedding concerned me less than Ryan it did not make sense.

“So. And what is going on?” she demanded.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment.

“I just thought” I lied.

I could not express all his thoughts and feelings words, so I just did not want to try to do it.

“Good. You asked not to flattery, and I would not” finally she looked away.

I was relieved.

“Nina, I need to talk to you” Cole approached to us unexpectedly.

“Cole” I cried out in surprise.

Valentina and Taylor stared at me. I knew that they were confused. Nobody ever called him by name. Perhaps, many did not even know his name. For all it was just Mr. Gate.

“You have explained everything to Valentina. Why?” when we entered in his office, I asked.

Cole turned abruptly to me and pushed me a little bit to the side, closed the door.

“Yes. She tried to extract the truth from you. I knew you’d never be able to explain everything.” he justified.

Basically, I had no desire to be angry at him. And I even had him a little grateful. Valentina actually would have never fallen behind me. I could never explain it. God only knew what might come out of this.

“Ryan said that nightmares plagued you” without thinking twice, Cole turned the topic.

Although, he invited me to his office did not to talk about Valentina.

“Yes, but everything is fine” I said casually.

I was suddenly thrown into a fever, and I hurried to sit down on a chair. I unbuttoned jacket and took a deep breath. Blood began to throb in my head.

“Nina, are you okay?” Cole started nervous.

“Yes. Just …” I could not explain.

Cole quickly filled a glass with water and gave me. I took a few sips. I felt a little better. The head did not spinning anymore, but I still was not breathe.

“What happened?” Ryan appeared in the office.

I looked at him questioningly. I tried to look normal, but it was practically impossible to breathe.

“I’ll go, Valentina and Taylor …” I quickly jumped up from the chair and rushed away.

I ran out into the street and began greedily gulping air. Gradually my condition became normal. Only a strange feeling that I barely caught not ceased to be in me.


“I think I can answer your question” Gate said to me, when Nina stormed out of the office.

I wanted to run after her, but something stopped me. In view Gate, I realized that he wanted to tell me something important.

“Speak” I demanded.

Gate was silent for about a minute before saying.

“It is you. All these nightmares were because of you. Are you a representative of death, and she is live. Life and death are to each other but not together. You promised her to find a damn way to get back. But what if it does not exist?” Gate went wild.

His words pierced right through me. I had never thought about theories about life and death. I acted like a selfish dreams. I was causing harm to Nina, and each time this happened only because of my selfishness. Gate said wise things. I did not actually know if I could find a way back to her or not. But I promised. And it turned out to be selfish again.

“Listen. I could be wrong. You have a couple of days to figure it out and realize the promise you would be able to accomplish it or not. Nina is not to know anything” Gate relaxed a little.

He gave me a chance to set the record straight in my life. But I was afraid that it would follow only one point. It is the point in our relationship with Nina. I could not let that happen.

“I’m sorry I lost” I whispered to Nina.

She was standing beside her car and was about to go home. On her face, I saw a small shadow of sadness and excitement. She almost always worried. But now, I was sure, her excitement was not meaningful.

“You’re probably trying to find out how to get back to me” hopefully she looked at me.

She was right I was looking for a chance to return to her. But sometimes it seemed to me that it was not simple. But every time a thought came into my head, I easily threw back it and continued to look for. I needed hope as well as she did.

“Yes. How are you?” I quickly turned the subject.

Nina smiled and jumped in the car.

“Without you, it was not so” with a smile, she said, and started the car.


At home, I felt much better. I drank tea and went to bed.

“I love you, Nina” Ryan said when I lay down in bed.

I grinned at him and blew him a kiss.

“When I wake up, the first thing I want to see your eyes” I muttered, dug deeper into the blanket.

I just wanted he promised me that he would be there when I wake up.

“I promise” he seemed to read my thoughts.

I fell asleep very quickly. Nightmares did not torment me, so in the morning I felt wonderful.

My nightmares disappeared, but there was something else. And it was hard to understand exactly what it was. But I definitely knew that it was much more serious and terrible than nightmares at night. I urgently needed to talk to someone about it. But I could not let Ryan to learn about it. I still remembered him a startled look when I jumped up at night from fear.

“You’re early today” Ryan stared at me when I opened my eyes.

I glanced at the clock. It was five in the morning, but I did not want to sleep. I cheerfully lifted my head from the pillow and sat on the bed. Ryan sat in front of me. He viewed me with suspicion.

“Stop staring at me. That happens. Sometimes people get enough sleep” I tried to calm him down.

But Ryan always had an incredible ability to see right through me.

“Well, Nina” finally reluctantly he said and took his eyes away.

“I did not say that you do not look at me. I just wish you would not look at me with suspicion.”

Ryan slowly turned his head. The suspicion in his eyes was gone. But there was something else. I could not grasp what it was. But there was something that he did not want to say.

“Okay” I shook my head to throw out all the bad thoughts out of my head.

I had a serious talk with Ryan, but for some reason I did not want to do this before the wedding Taylor and Valentina. I guess I was afraid to spoil the day for myself and for them.

Suddenly the phone rang.

“Nina, please take me” Valentina said in a whisper.

Through whispers I heard her cry, and shortness of breath. My heart began to beat wildly rhythm.

“Valentina, where are you?” I did not think a long time before asking the question.

“Go along the main road to our home. I’m on the road” Valentina said with a gasp and sometimes not at all breathing.

I quickly pulled out of the closet jeans and pulled over. I was terribly scared and wanted to cry. But I was too scared to give in to these feelings.

“I’m going for her” quickly Ryan said.

He perfectly heard our conversation with Valentina and saw my condition. I could not say anything to him, so I just nodded.

Leaving the main road, I drove my best. A sense of self-preservation was gone, and my only goal was to quickly get to Valentina.

I noticed her car from a distance. I strongly pressed the gas and the car with enormous speed jerked forward.

“You have to calm her down. Call an ambulance, Nina” Ryan spoke to me on the move.

When I opened the car door, I saw Valentina. She sat grimacing in pain and did not cease to keep the stomach by hand.

I forced myself together and called an ambulance, as Ryan ordered.

“Nina” she whispered through clenched lips.

I climbed on a nearby seat and tried to do everything possible to help overcome panic Valentina.

“She’ll be all right. It’s not scary” Ryan whispered.

I believed his words, because it helped me to control myself.

“Shhh, Valentina. Help will soon be” I whispered to her, stroking her hair.

“Nina, she will have twins” happily Ryan said.

I froze for a moment, and then began to laugh like crazy. I could not believe that in the abdomen of Valentina not one but two lives are. I just could not believe it.

Chapter 10.

“What with her?” Taylor burst into the waiting room.

He looked very scared and it certainly was evident.

“All is well. I think everything very well” I could not stop smiling.

I wanted to tell Taylor that he would become the daddy just two kids, but I did not feel right to do so. This he had to learn from Valentina.

“Everything will be fine. She just needs to increase the dose of folic acid and iron. This happens when a woman bears twins” the doctor left the room, and not even having to come to us, he said, all on the go.

He looked happy, which allowed me to relax at the end. Valentina will be all right and that’s all I wanted at that moment.

“Twins?” on the brink of a burst of joy Taylor whispered.

The doctor nodded in response, and hurried off. Taylor abruptly turned to me and to my surprise he clenched me in his arms.

“I’ll be the daddy of twins” he exulted.

I could not breathe and I tried to push him away.

“I need to breathe” cough, I muttered.

“I’m sorry” he smiled in response and completely let go of me.

His joy was very obvious and to be honest it was the best news of all these freaking three weeks.

“I think you should go to her” pointed to the door, I said Taylor.

He looked at me by shining eyes with gratitude. But I could not understand why he was thanking me. When Taylor went to the ward Valentina, I plopped down on a chair in relief.

“Are you okay?” Ryan again looked at me with his restless eyes.

Last time I was seeing that look too often. At some point, it seemed to me that Ryan concealed from me something.

“Yes” I smiled through force.

In fact the second day I did not feel. But I could not explain exactly how. And I did not want. Between me and Ryan was the whole world, and I did not want anything else separated us. I have long realized that Ryan was obsessed with taking care of me and my safety. If he would have learned that with me that something was wrong, I could not even suggest that could happen. Perhaps he again blamed himself that my unhappiness was because of him. I did not want it.

I was seating in the waiting room for an hour. During this time I managed to experience many different emotions: fear, despair, and even joy. At the head of an instant all turned to fog and I just could not come that Ryan did not suspect anything.

“Valentina fell asleep. I’m sorry it took so long” Taylor suddenly found nearby.

I did not notice when he entered. It was difficult even to notice anything.

I nodded and confidently stood up from the chair. I just needed to go somewhere, but I could not understand why?

“Tonight I’ll take her home.” Taylor shouted after me.

I could not in any way respond to his words. Honestly, I did not understand what was happening to me. My feet, as if by some unknown order of non-stop were walking forward. I tried to breathe calmly and not to give out my own facial expressions. Ryan was near, and like he did not notice. I sincerely hoped he did not notice.

At home, I immediately went to bed. I had power only for this. I gripped the blanket and fell asleep.

I had slept all day and may be, I could sleep even longer, but I was awakened by the doorbell. I reluctantly got out of bed. Staggering from side to side, I barely reached the door.

“Nina, why you were not in class?” opening the door, I saw Cole.

“I …” I quickly rubbed my eyes.

Cole, not waiting for an answer, went into the house. He looked puzzled and anxious. His black suit was a little dented, and a white shirt was carelessly unbuttoned. It created the impression that he had not slept all night or slept, well, somewhere in the car.

“Is Ryan here?” he asked, looking around the house.

“No. He …” I did not know where Ryan was.

Cole took two steps towards me and abruptly put his hand to my forehead. I staggered in surprise, but Cole cleverly picked me, not allowing falling.

“You have the temperature” he concluded.

“Probably, it is cold” I pulled away from him.

Cole quickly went into the kitchen and I followed him.

“Sit down!” he commanded and sat me down at the table.

I could not, and did not want to resist. Sitting on a chair, I began to watch for Cole. He prudently took tea from the top drawer and put the kettle on.

“Are you going to drink me by tea?” a little chuckle, I asked.

Cole was behaving oddly. He looked at me with such pity with which people look at death. Honestly, it was not pleasant.

“Yes, Nina. Tea should little cheer you” he said to me, not looking up at me.

I wanted to answer something, but I was stopped by calling a mobile phone. I quickly jumped up from the chair, and barely restrain on the feet, went to the table on which lay my mobile.

“Thank you” I heard cries joy of Valentina.

“I’m glad you’re all right” I smiled.

Laughter rang the phone. Valentina was not just happy, she was thrilled. I had not seen her so happy for a long time. While it is true to say that I had never seen her like this.

“I do not know … Nina, I’m just like born again. I’m so happy. Before the wedding, you need to organize hen parties, and I just wanted to spit on it. I so much want to marry Taylor. Oh my God, I’m so happy” Valentina began to cry into my phone.

I shivered from the chills on the back. I was very happy for her, but sometimes it seemed to me, that in me almost out of the Nina, which would scream with joy at it words. I feel like I lost the sharpness of my emotions.

“I understand you” I lied.

In fact, I could not even imagine how a girl becomes happy, nurturing a child from a loved one. And in the case of Valentina it was two children.

The conversation with Valentina was long and a little tired to me. Last time, I began to feel too much fatigue. In order not to falter and not be killed on the go, I carefully crawled to the chair and sat down. Cole had already made two mugs of tea and put in front of me. He seemed prepared for a difficult conversation.

“Nina, I have some concerns about your sickness and nightmares” I was right, he was ready to talk.

“So, it’s just fatigue and nightmares are absolutely nothing. All people dream of nightmares” I nervously sipped from a mug.

From the excitement in my hands I turned cold and my body began to beat as if in small spasms.

“Anything normal can not be in your life. You need to remember this” Cole became serious.

His voice was persistently trying to get through to my consciousness. But I strongly blocked these efforts.

“No. I mean. Yes. My life is very unusual, but I am a person with normal physiology. All that is happening to me, it’s just a human problem” I stubbornly insisted.

Cole put the cup slowly and stared at me.

“And yet … I think Ryan is blame for what happens to you …”

“No. Stop. No. This is wrong and you should not say that. Ryan is the only thing that keeps me on my feet at all. Okay?” I interrupted him.

My voice broke and I started to scream hysterically. I could not bear to even think that Ryan could hear it. I knew that even if he just heard it suggestion, guilt just devoured him. He was, every second of its existence, trying to save me. And I was not talking about his obsession around blaming himself. It was impossible to avoid.

“I understand, but you should at least listen” he tensed and slightly stronger hung on the edge of the table.

It seemed to me, so he tried to put pressure on me to get to agree with him. But to agree with him was the same that drive themselves into the grave.

“No. I ask you do not talk about it with Ryan. If he … Oh, God” I clamped my mouth to suppress a groan.

In my chest something became very sick, and I just could not move. Cole quickly jumped up and grabbed me by the shoulders. He said something, but I was like the deaf. For a moment I was enveloped emptiness and absolute silence.

“I will not say I will not say” I finally heard his voice.

I felt a little easier, but the anxiety that aRoss because of this stupid conversation did not disappear. I took a deep breath and tried to smile. The smile turned a tight course, but it was the best I could offer to Cole. He, in turn, tried to pretend to believe in the sincerity of my forced smile. It was wise from his side.

When Cole was gone, I felt relieved. But then I was again filled the fatigue and some sadness. I sat on the bed and braided hair in a braid. I had to put myself in a bit of sense, but I just had no idea how to do it.


I tried to find at least a small hint of what a way to go back to Nina existed. But the results were not.

After talking with Gate, I was a little confused. I need to talk a lot with Nina and honestly admit to her that the chances of my return were very small. But I was too cowardly to admit it to myself about Nina and generally had nothing to say. I spent a long time with stupid thoughts about what I would do if I could not go back to her. Again selfishness rules me. I did not even thinking about what would happen to Nina when she would found out that I could not go back. I realized that I would have to live with it forever. Angels of Death do not die, and that was my curse. My heart was ached just the thought that I would have to live without her forever.

When I got home, Nina slept. It was still too early to go to bed, and I dare to suggest that she slept all day. Gate warned me that my presence was bad for Nina and I realized that my conversation with Nina had to take place as soon as possible.

I sat down beside her and gently brushed the air above her cheek. I missed the opportunity to touch her warm, soft body, missed opportunities to kiss her full lips and just be by her side. The chest was torn all to pieces. I cursed everything.

“Valentina, something happened?” Nina reached for the ringing phone.

I was sitting next to, and she did not even look at me.

“No. Everything will be fine. Of course, I can not promise that the snow will go today or tomorrow, and your dream about snow wedding will turn, but I can promise that everything will be fine.” she whispered, closing her eyes.

Nina definitely did not see me. But why? I quickly got up and stood directly in front of her.

“Nina” I called her.

But she did not see or hear me.

“Okay. I’ll come to you in the morning and help with everything” Nina smiled and hung up.

She reached out awkwardly and hugged the pillow she fell asleep again.

I did not understand what was going on. But I knew who could answer me this question.

“Ryan?” Gate was surprised at my appearance.

“Nina does not see me” I decided not to beat around the bush and immediately called the reason for my appearance.

Gate looked at me with wide eyes. He was clearly frightened by something. And something told me that it would frighten me.

“Devil!” he cursed his hair on his head.

“And?” I needed the answer.

Gate sympathetically looked at me.

“I certainly can not answer, but I think she is sick. You found a way to come back?” Gate looked at me expectantly.

For some reason he strongly longed for a positive response. Although I knew that he did not like me and did not really like my return.

“You can be happy, I do not know how to return to her” my voice cracked.

The first time I said it out loud. Gate stiffened and his eyes filled with cruelty.

“Gabriel knew, so allowed us to catch him so fast” Gate growled through clenched teeth.

The point gradually began to reach me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and clenched my fists. Hatred and anger quickly began to fill me. I found myself cornered.

“We should all say to Nina as quickly as possible. And you still need to try to find a way. Otherwise …” Gate took a deep breath.

I did not need words to understand that otherwise I would lose her. From this blood in my head began to throb.

“Now she sleeps. The wedding will tomorrow and we should not spoil it” I said coolly.

I thought something died in me. In my mind there was only one thought. I had to find the damn way to get back to her, and if it is not there, then I should create it. I realized that there was no other option.


In the morning I woke up in a good mood. But Ryan was not there, and I was a little upset about it. But today, Valentina and Taylor will become husband and wife, so … I was supposed to be fun and good. Of course, I told myself that the absence of Ryan was related to the search to return. Although, deep down I had some excitement.

Approaching the house of Valentina, I found myself as if in a fairy tale. Everything was decorated with artificial pink flowers gently, and the road was covered with multicolored confetti. We agreed that she should spend the last night before the wedding in my house. But due to the recent events, she stayed the night in her home.

“Are you surprised?” Valentina was waiting for me at the door.

I quickly shut the car door and enthusiastically began to inspect all around.

“Yes. It is very beautiful in here. I’ll take things out of the car, and you go home. It’s cold outside” I warned her.

I took all the necessary things for the ceremony, so as not to waste time.

“You are prepared” Valentina was standing right by the door, waiting for me.

“I told that you went to the house!” I said angrily.

But she was not a bit scared. The only thing she could answer, it was a smile.

“Okay, let’s get ready. I do not even know you have prepared everything?” I remembered with horror.

I was so mired in my own problems that did not bother to ask whether they could prepare everything. Although a wide smile of Valentina gave a clear answer to that.

“All is ready. Taylor worked preparations” she said cheerfully.

“I’m shocked”.

“By the way, Taylor is very good” Valentina displeasure pouted.

“I know. He’s a great” I felt uncomfortable.

Valentina took a quick shower. At this time I tried to call Cole to know about Ryan. I had not seen him for about two days. I was restless. But Cole did not answer.

“Something happened?” I did not notice when Valentina come in the room.

“No. It’s okay” I was confused.

“Nina, you can share with me” Valentina did not believe in my entire well.

“No, all is well” I insisted.

“Then why the mask of emotions is on your face?” she became attacked by facts.

In favor I crossed her arms and stared at her.

“After four hours, you’ll have to say the most important words in your life. Let’s concentrate on this” I quickly changed the subject.

“Good” Valentina agreed.

I helped her with the hair and smeared her body with oil. It was necessary to ensure that the body looked healthy and bright. While Valentina waited that the oil absorbed I quickly put her hair and make-inflicted.

“Help me get into this dress” Valentina was holding her white wedding dress, which was very expensive.

Ryan and I gave it to her for the wedding. I quickly unzipped the back and Valentina cleverly slipped into the dress. It was right on her figure. I carefully straightened her skirt and looked appreciatively at Valentina.

“You look great” I said as our eyes met.

“Thank you. And now bring your dress” not tolerated she grumbled.

My dress was a champagne color with a slight shade of beige. It tucked in just one shoulder and on his back was oval cutout. Its length was a maxi, to the floor. And the skirt was more like mermaid tail. I even think that it was the name of the model dress. I hurriedly put high heels on and prepared to appear before Valentina.

“Wow” she screamed.

I first heard from her a delight to the address of my clothes.

“I think I landed bride” I was embarrassed.

Valentina was looking at me so happy and enthusiastic eyes, that I was not myself.

“It’s just … Nina, you’re crazy beautiful” somehow clumsily she added, looking at me from head to toe.

I was pleased with her approval. Valentina was always hard to please, and finally, I was able to.

Chapter 11:

The Wedding.

Valentina walked slowly to the altar, where Taylor was waiting her. I watched with bated breath for this. Everything was like a fairy tale. We were in the great temple of the city. It was a very large building with high ceilings and a huge space. There were not many guests, mostly all family and most of these people were familiar to me. But there were strangers.

Valentina was walking on the small white flowers strewn floor. She was shaking and I could not understand why. It was the most important event in her life.

“Nina!” Cole approached me.

I was calling him all day, and he did not pick up. So I did not really expect to see him at the wedding.

“Cole. I called you” I said reproachfully.

“I’ll wait for you outside. We must have a serious talk with you.” he said firmly, and departed.

I was shocked by his appearance and a little scared by last words. My shock lasted for a long time, because I was really wasting the time of engagement. When I came to, Taylor and Valentina were kissing, and engagement rings had already been put on the fingers of their hands.

I took a few breaths and went out into the street. It was already winter, but I did not think about how to put on a coat. I ran out into the street in a dress, thinking only about Cole. I felt that the conversation was related to Ryan. Or just I was thinking, that the conversation was related to him.


“Nina” Gate called her.

I stood beside him and realized that she had not seen me. Nina quickly hurried over to us.

“Why is she naked?” I saw her body was shaking from the cold when she came to us.

“Nina, do you see Ryan?” Cole asked her a strange question.

Of course, I knew what was discussed, but for Nina, I thought it was difficult to understand.

“I have not seen him for two days” she said.

Her words confirmed that she had not seen me.

“No. Now you see him?” Gate reformulated question

“He is not here. Why are you …” she smiled.

But the horror froze in her eyes.

“Gate, you have to tell her gently” I warned him.

I could not bear to look at Nina. She did not realize anything and was badly frightened.

“How is it possible to speak softly?” he was indignant.

“What?” Nina was quite confused.

I felt like a complete idiot.

“Nina, Ryan stands next to me, but for some reason you can not see him anymore” his explanation sounded not at all soft.

“What?” Nina was pale.

Her lips turned blue.

“Please do not be alarmed. Ryan sees a way to go back and …” Gates tried to reassure her.

He grabbed her shoulders, though I had to do it.

“What if there is no turning back?” she said it so hopelessly.

I was like killed at that time. Nina slowly pulled away from the Gate, and without saying a word, walked away.

I looked after her and was slowly dying. Her pain was felt through the distance. Gate said something to me, but I was not able to hear it. I was no longer able to hear anything.


I lost hope after talking to Cole. Before, I just could not touch Ryan, and now I could not see him. That was the end. I just lost all hope for something good.

I went back into the hall. All celebrated and made merry. I took a glass of champagne and drank it in one gulp then I took another one and repeated.

“Nina, I’m married now” Valentina flew to me and began to happily shake hands in front of my face, showing ring.

I gathered all the strength and smiled happily at her. I was happy for her, but a nagging pain in my chest was the only real sense at the time.

“Are you okay?” finally ceases to please, she asked me.

I nodded, unable to speak. I thought that by opening my mouth, I just could not say anything. I did not know what to say.

“So, take more” Valentina gave me another glass of champagne.

I drank it in one gulp. Alcohol quickly knocked at head, but I did not feel relief.

“Come dance” finally, I managed from myself.

I needed to be alone to think. Valentina initially protested, but then agreed and left. I quickly slipped past guests and went outside. My car was close, so I almost did not freeze, while reaching out to it.

I reached home very quickly. Before, I would never have sat in a drunken state at the wheel, but I was no longer as before.

I went into the house and slammed the door behind and sat on the floor.

“That’s all. What should I do?” I began to speak, because I knew that Ryan was close.

I just hoped he heard these words. He had to hear them. But there was no answer.

“I let you go only because you promised to return. I was your ally. I made this mistake and now I just do not know what I should do. I do not know how to live without you” the tears flowed from my eyes.

My voice was trembling. But again there was no answer. I quickly got up from the floor and went to the kitchen. I felt disgusting.

Someone rang the doorbell unexpectedly. I did not want to see anybody, so I just ignored the damn call. I got a bottle of whiskey and poured into a glass. I knew exactly what alcohol helped many people forget the pain. I was hoping the same thing would happen to me.

Calls and knocks on the door were continuing. My head was splitting from it. I slowly walked to the door.

“Nina, let me” it was Cole.

I reluctantly turned the lock and walked away. A moment later, the door swung open.

“Hell, you have the blood!” Cole screamed like just saw me.

I looked indifferently at hand. It’s true there were a few drops of blood. I put a hand to my face. Blood was coming from my nose.

“What would you like?” I asked him, heading for the kitchen.

Cole followed me. He kept telling me the standard comforting words.

“Enough. You were saying that all would be well when Ryan was coming at it. But all is bad!” I cried, unable to hold back tears.

But at some point in my chest something ached, and I stopped crying.

“Nina?” Cole stared at me warily.

“I’m going to bed. I’m very tired. Help yourself if you want to” I pointed to a partial bottle of whiskey.

At some point I stopped being hurt. I just stopped feeling tearing inside.

“Nina, Ryan will not come” Cole, for some reason, decided to remind me about it.

But I was not touched by his words. I did not feel anything.

“Tell him that I love him” I said it, but the feeling did not exist.

I like talking to some common fact. I was indifferent to everything. Inside, I felt the emptiness of silence and light. It was easy and not painful.

At night I slept great. For the first time in a long time, I slept great. In the morning I woke up in a good mood. I had to call and apologize for Valentina that so quickly went yesterday. I quickly dialed her number on the phone.

“I’m glad to hear your cheerful voice” I said, as soon as I heard the voice of Valentina.

She nervously giggled in response.

“Nina, I’m married now, you know?” she said with some delight, that I could not feel until the end.

“Yes, I know” I lied.

How could I understand it?! But she wanted to hear the answer, and I gave it to her.

“Our wedding was absolutely not like at all. Well, we just celebrated modestly” she reported.

“No, everything was fine” I said again what she wanted to hear.

“I hope so. Today you go to school?” he asked.

“Yes and you?” I asked it, although somehow it does not care me.

“Of course, with my husband” with great delight she said.

I did not feel any emotion, no interest. Inside was quiet. The unrest and constant feelings disappeared and in their place only silence was inside.

In HelpRed I stayed most of the day. I tried to immerse myself in study. But I was not very interesting to study the inner man, and various diseases. But I just felt it proper to teach. I listened to a lecture about four hours about bleeding in various diseases and injuries. To remember too much I could not, but I was not opposed in principle to listen to this lecture. Taylor and Valentina did not go with me, so I would not be distracted.

When the lecture was over, I went outside to get some fresh air. Cole was waiting for me at the door.

“Hey, Nina” almost without emotion he said.

“Hey Cole” just not emotionally I said.

Slowly, he turned to me and looked at me appreciatively.

“You look good” he mumbled.

“And I feel the same way” I did not wait for his answer, and came down the stairs, walked to the parking lot.

Cole was following for me. He obviously wanted to continue the conversation with me, but I was not happy about this.

“Wait. I talked to Ryan. He found something, found a small hook to come back to you” he was watching my reaction.

“It’s good. I would like he would come back” I said quietly and sat in the car.

Hold the steering wheel I felt a slight vibration in the body. But I ignored it. Feel free to hit the gas I went to the main road. I went home. My body was still feeling a slight vibration, but I tried in every way not to think about it. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I saw the blood on my face. From my nose started to bleed again. I quickly wiped the blood from my lips. Bleeding out of my nose was yesterday, too, but I did not know the cause.

Arriving home, the first thing I took a hot bath, and dressed in my pajamas, went into the kitchen. The only thing I wanted was tea. I poured a full mug of hot tea and sat at the window, I began to drink.


Nina began to behave very strangely. She seemed transformed into something senseless and absolutely quiet. I was worried about her, but I was a part of myself to blame. While no, I was completely to blame for this.

“We have a problem” Gate spoke to me directly.

I did not even have time to really emerge, he said that phrase.

“Nina” knowing who he said I said.

Gate nodded. He looked puzzled and a little strange. His eyes as if were looking at me, but not me. Gate obviously was thinking about something.

“AND?” I wanted to know what his thoughts were busy.

Most likely he thought about Nina and of course I had to learn what it was. I felt broken every time thinking about her, but I just was not possible to have pity myself. I with all my being realized that something was wrong with her.

“She felt hurt when I told her that she could not see you. Do you remember her eyes?” he looked at me.

“Of course” I said with a trembling voice.

I remember her eyes moreover her eyes with frozen tears were still standing in front of me.

“And then, when I came to her, into her eyes in a moment there was nothing” he snapped by his fingers in front of my face.

I had some speculation on this subject, but I tried every way to find even one refutation of this. Otherwise, if Nina really was exactly what I thought I had to sound the alarm.

“Maybe she’s just still keeps hope and just got caught for it” knowing that my words were nonsense, I still said it.

Gate looked at me like I was a moron. And he was right.

“She does not feel anything” like a verdict he said.

His words exactly described my diagnosis. Nina just closed her pain in the heart. Only the broken people could do so. In the world these people are not so much. But Nina was not too normal, and could do the same. These broken people carry on their shoulders the worldly cross, and for a while they were able to hide their pain to rest. Nina was not broken man, but in some way she was able to do the same.

“She …” I wanted to explain Gate about broken people, but he nodded, not letting me finish.

“Yes, you need to return her feelings. It will take some time. I will ask for help Valentina” he commented his nod.

I understood that he wanted to do. He was going to drink Nina special trash, which would help her to remember everything. But it could take a long time. Although for me it was a plus. I could during this time to learn more about how could I come back or not? But something told me that Gate knew the answer to this question. But I was afraid to ask. His answer might not be too good for me. I thought it was better to have hope than to understand that I just never come back to her.

“You will have to negotiate. I can not” I said the fact.

Gate looked reproachfully at me. But this view was not stored only reproach. It was something else. But I could not understand that.

Chapter 12.


I was awakened by the doorbell. Reluctantly I slipped out of bed and went to open the door.

“Do you sleep?” it was Valentina.

I walked the aisle and asked her to enter.

“You came to me??” I wanted to know the reason for her occurrence.

Valentina looked at me with displeasure. A large package was in her hands.

“We have to celebrate my wedding” not very convincingly she said.

I examined her carefully.

“You’re pregnant, we can not drink” I protested.

“No, I can not get drunk” she corrected me.

Going into the kitchen, Valentina put the contents of the package on the table. There was a bottle of expensive brandy and different snack. I quickly took out two glasses and put on the table.

“Are you sure?” I was not too comfortable with the idea that she in her position was going to drink alcohol.

“Nina, I’m going to drink a little” she said, filling the glasses.

I took a deep breath and sat down across from her.

“So, how are you?” she asked me when the silence between us became to strain.

“Excellent” I replied.

Valentina looked askance at me, but did not say anything.

We drank almost a whole bottle, although I drank it. Valentina just drank a glass, as promised. After this amount of alcohol I had drunk, but to me nothing happened.

“Are you okay?” Valentina stared at me.

We walked to the door and she probably was shocked by my confident gait. After a bottle of brandy, I did not even wobble.

“Valentina, stop. When you will home, you call me” I muttered, almost pushing her out.

She stayed at me until late at night. Her car was parked right outside the gate. I stood and looked at her as long as she drove away.

Slamming the door, I felt a little lonely, but then it disappeared. Inside, there was silence again, and complete devastation. Sitting on the floor and leaning back against the door, I began to look at one point. The only thing I heard was my breath.

I woke up a few hours before the alarm. My body was shaking for some reason. My muscles contracted, making me feel mild discomfort. I got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. Having dialed a full glass of water, I drank it in one gulp. I was supposed to be easier, but nothing like I felt.

I gripped the edge of the table from the unexpected and piercing chest pain. My legs buckled and I collapsed to the floor, hitting my head on the edge of the table. Sprawled on the floor, I felt a sharp cramp in the body. I immediately remembered Ryan. I remembered those moments when I was very happy with him and remembered his smile, remembered the warmth of his body. At one point I was too sick at the memory. Tears flowed from my eyes, and a pathetic moan escaped from my throat. I remembered the words of Cole. I could no longer see Ryan, and probably never would be able.

But at one point, it was gone. The pain, the memories and cramps disappeared. I got up from the floor, rubbing the bruise on my forehead, which I received in the fall. I glanced at the clock. It took about two hours, I woke up. But I could not remember what I was doing all this time. Realizing that I was supposed to be half an hour in HelpRed, I began to get ready.

By some miracle, I drove to HelpRed twenty minutes. I had a couple of minutes left to catch a lecture on time, so I did not want to lose time, rushed to the audience. On the way I met Taylor and Valentina. Apparently, they were a little too late. Only they were not excited because of this, as I was.

“Overslept?” Taylor asked me a little chuckle, for some reason, comprehensible only to him.

“Yes. And you?” without hesitation, I replied.

“Nina, we still have a couple of minutes. Stop nervous” Valentina said.

She wondered why I was in such a hurry. And me too. But I knew only that I must not be late. But why??

The lecture took place too quickly. It lasted for two and a half hours, but I felt it as a ten-minute performance. It was weird.

“Boring” Taylor growled, holding Valentina waist when we left.

“Nina, will you go to eat?” Valentina asked me when we left the audience.

“No.” I was not hungry.

I needed to talk to Cole and I decided to do this instead of lunch was reasonable. But when I went to his office, I heard him talking. But I did not hear the voice of the interlocutor he soon was talking to himself, well, or on the phone. I wanted to open the door, but when I heard my name, I froze.

“Nina could not bear it if she would found out that you would not come back. Ryan, I can not tell her, and I will not. I knew that you could not go back even if offered the deal. But I just did not think she could have so much love you” Cole spoke with Ryan.

His words like a whirlwind swept through my mind. Now I knew that I would never be able to see Ryan. He will forever remain only in my memories. A drop of hope that flickered in my heart disappeared and now I was completely devastated. I forgot all about what I wanted to talk to Cole. Yes, it was no longer important. I wanted to talk about my feelings, which was in this morning and ask him about Ryan. But questions had been exhausted after these words.

I trudged down the hallway, feeling completely destroyed. I had the feeling that my life was just ended. The only thing that was still alive, it was my body. But my soul died with the words of Cole.

“Nina, you’re going to home?” Valentina called me when I started to open the car door.

I slowly turned to her, trying to look normal.

“Yeah, I feel bad” I said, and jumped into the car.

On the way I raced at high speed. I was anxious to get home, even though I did not know what to do next.

Suddenly, the snow began to beat on the window of the car. Valentina dreamed of snow wedding, but did not get it. We almost never get what we dream. Life is so arranged.

Chapter 13.

A month passed. I just learned all this time, avoiding talking about Ryan. Sometimes it was difficult to breathe because of the cry from the heart, but I learned to suppress it. I was quite happy with my life. No emotions and stupid hopes for something good. Sometimes I want to cry, but I could not. Tears just were not.

I was going to spend the weekend at home to protect from everyone, but my plan was foiled by Cole. He came to me early in the morning, with a strange expression on his face.

“Nina, are you okay?” he asked.

I too many times heard it and every time I smiled and said that I was all right. But to me it was not all good. I missed Ryan very much and sometimes my soul was turning from the fact that we could not be together.

“I’m fine” letting him in the house, I said.

Cole stopped abruptly and turned to me.

“Nina, Ryan can not go back” he spoke these words with such sorrow.

But I hated him sorrow, because exactly he was blame. Exactly he was blame for the fact that Ryan would never be next to me.

“I know” I tried to maintain my composure.

“Nina, he can not ever go back” again he repeated to me, but emphasizing each word.

I turned slowly to the door and closed it.

“I know” I repeated, without turning around.

Hand of Cole grabbed me by the shoulder sharply. I turned to him and looked at him puzzled face.

“You knew that he could never go back” I remembered his words, which then overheard.

Cole took his hand from my shoulder. He was surprised.

“Yes” he admitted.

“Why did you come?” I asked him.

“Did you feel nothing?” he ignored my question.

I leaned back against the door.

“You mean this constant pain in the chest or may be about those times when I just can not breathe?” I was annoyed by his question.

“It must be so. Nina, I let you to hide your feelings for a while, but you should recognize your pain, feel it. You must realize that he would never again in your life. He did not go into this fucking house, and never kiss you, he did not tell you how much he loves you, and you never say it too. Nina, you should realize this” Cole looked piercingly into my eyes.

No one ever said that to me. I knew that, but I had never heard of this, no one told me anything about it. I slowly slid down and sat on the floor.

“Why I can not see him?” I asked him, without looking up.

I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks and looked at my fingers.

“Nina?” Cole frightened.

“All my life I saw those fucking angels of death. And now I do not see. Why? Why I can not see him?” this question was only in my head.

Cole sat down next to me and took my face in his hands. I could not lift up my eyes, it were heavy with tears.

“Nina, tell me what you’re feeling?” he demanded.

I frowned. What was I feeling?

“Grandma said that I could not see my death that no one can see his own death. Tell him I love him greatly. Tell him I’ll still wait for him. Tell him that he is not guilty. Oh my God, he always blames himself. Tell him that he is not blame” I became hysterical.

But something that popped into my head, helped ease the aching pain inside. I remembered the words of grandmother. She always said that no one could see his own death. Maybe that was why I could no longer see Ryan. This was a plus. Life without Ryan was not life. There was only a matter of time how much I still had to wander without him. And here, the issue was resolved.

“Nina, you have a fever?” Cole put his hand on my forehead.

But I was not at all anyway. Cole quickly picked me up and he laid me on the bed. I felt weak and not strong peace. The room was very light. The street was a lot of snow and bouncing, the light shines directly into the room. Cole fussed around me. He muttered something under his breath, but I was not very clear what it is. I wrapped myself in a blanket and fell asleep.


“Gate, what the hell? What with her?” I saw Nina was sleeping on the bed and Cole was beside her.

He was concerned.

“She said a strange thing” not answering my question, he said.

I glared at him. Gate constantly delayed before saying anything of substance.

“Her grandmother told that before the death, no one sees his own death. Ryan, she is dying” he said in a trembling voice.

I froze on the spot. It could not be true. She had to live, she had to.

“You should do something. Do something” I demanded.

I was not going to give up and accept the fact that her soul was doomed to die.

“Ryan. Valentina gave to drink more than a month by the trash, which was supposed to help her remember her feelings. But she did not really even thought of it. Perhaps her soul well, or part of, died with your left” Cole was not going to do anything.

I quickly came to Nina and collapsed next to her bed. Her face was tear-stained and swollen from crying. She slept.

“I can not live an eternity without her. I will never be able to look at her at the moment when she, not noticing me, is drinking coffee or getting ready for bed or when waking up.” I said resignedly.

“And she? She had not seen you for a long time, it simply was not possible to see you” Cole said.

In his words I felt reproached. And he was right. I rarely thought about what she was feeling. Sometimes I did not even believe she could love me. But she loved me as much as I did. And now she was dying because of me. I should not have left then, but I left. In what was happening to her was my fault.

Cole was putting on her forehead with a cold compress, and I just sat there and watched like she was dying.

“It’s snowing outside?” Nina opened her eyes.

Her haggard face broke into a smile.

“Nina, you need to drink plenty of fluids” Cole immediately began to poke a glass of water her.

“No. I do not want. I want outside” shaking hands, Nina removed the blanket and gathered up.

“She needs to get dressed” I said, trying to give something useful.

Cole nodded and pulled out of the closet warm sweater. Nina unequivocally put it on herself and pulled the jeans.

“Can you go out, when you will recover?” at the door, Cole began to dissuade her.

But Nina ignored him. I stood next to her, but so far away. I tried not to give in to my emotions, but I just was killed by that fact I could not touch her, could not help her open the door, could not help her down the steps.

“Nina, you’re sick!” Valentina flew into the house.

She with horror looked at Nina.

“You called her?” Nina was furious.

But she was too exhausted to be angry for long.

“And I am here” Taylor came in the house after Valentina.


I was not myself from what was happening. I did not want to have someone beside me. In the eyes of Valentina and Taylor, I saw pity, and I was sick of this. In the eyes of Cole it was also a wine. He blamed himself, and it was right. I also blame him a bit.

“So. I’ll go for a walk, and you can be here” I said, buttoning my jacket.

“No. We’ll go together” Valentina did not like my suggestion.

“Valentina, stop! Why did you come?” I responded sharply.

My words had hurt her, but it did not happen.

“Okay. We will be here, and Mr. Gate will go with you” she finally gave up.

It was not quite what I wanted, but it was better than going for a walk together.

On the street, I felt a little bit easier. Fresh air quickly filled my lungs, which allowed me to feel a little joy.

“Is Ryan here?” I asked Cole, when we were walking in the surrounding home of Ryan.

Cole stiffened.

“Yes” he thought a few moments before answering.

“Good. He should not blame himself for anything. I’m just saying …” I was not enough air.

“I think when you will get well, you tell him about it yourself” he lied.

We both knew that I did not get better, but he did not want to admit it.

“Yes. I want to walk alone” I lied to him, too.

I did not ask him about anything. I just wanted to be alone.

Cole to my surprise did not argue. When he left, I felt much freer.

“I’m a little scared. I’m afraid that even after the death my pain will not cease. Ryan, please forgive me” I began to speak into the void.

But I knew he was there, and I did not matter that I could not see him, I just had to tell him everything.

“You’re the best thing that happened to me in my life. I’m afraid that one day I will forget your face, but at the same time, I am afraid of the pain that I feel remembering the days when we were together.” my heart began to beat faster.

I felt a slight tingling sensation in the stomach. But I should not have to pay attention to it. I had time to tell him everything.

“I love you, I just want you know that. Ryan, I love you so much” I was having trouble breathing.

At one point, all the emotions broke out of my mind, which I tried to hide. It pierced my heart at a time. I felt a weakness in the body. Legs immediately became heavy. Tears poured from my eyes and I just lost control of everything. The body went limp and I collapsed on the soft snow. The end was approaching.


Nina fell in the snow, without going through all my attempts to catch her. I fell to my knees beside her. Her breath was almost unheard, and I knew it was time to say goodbye. But I was not going to do that. I could not just let her go.

“I love you Nina Ross! I love you” I whispered and kissed the air above her lips.

She took a last breath and closed her eyes resignedly. I was listening silence, ignoring the cries of Valentina and the steps approaching people. At some point, all was quiet. Nina was no longer breathing. Realizing this, I was empty. Everything lost its meaning and I did not want anything more. I was defeated and killed at the same time. For the first time in my entire life, I felt a tear on my face. It was warm. I never cried, but Nina was no longer with me. Oh my God, my Nina was no more. She was gone forever. And I wanted to go for her. All my soul yearned for her. I had to go for her.

The end. From the words of Mr. Gate (Cole Gate).

I felt that Nina was dead, if I died too. I saw her body was lying in the snow and saw Ryan was setting beside her.

Valentina and Taylor would jerk to her, but I stopped them. I understood that they did not see what I saw. But I had to just stop them.

Lifeless body of Nina was lying on the cold snow and Ryan was setting next to her. Slowly, he touched her hair, and they swung from his touch. I could not understand how he was able to touch her. But Ryan could. He slowly raised head of Nina and put to his chest. He held her body to himself with all the love that kept in his heart.

Ryan slowly sank into the snow, hugging Nina with more passion than ever before. He covered her face with hot kisses, trying not to hurt her. Nina was dead, but he still kissed her gently as in life.

Suddenly, the body of Ryan began to turn to stone. Angels of death could not die, and the first time I saw the body of the angel of death turned to stone. I tried not to breathe, so as not to miss one detail. I could never understand the love that was between them. And I saw how they died, died together.

Soul of Ryan aspired to her. He turned to stone, and then slowly crumbled. I insensibly fell to my knees. I had consumed them. I had consumed them.

But I heard laughter. I heard laughter of Nina behind. I turned slowly.

“Thank you” Nina was standing behind me, and Ryan was standing next to her.

“But?” I could not believe my eyes.

Now they were more like a perfume. Their bodies were translucent. Ryan pressed Nina to himself so hard. Saying nothing in response, they smiled and their silhouette gradually began to dissolve in the air. Only laughter of Nina, a vibrant and contagious, could be heard even after they leave.

“Mr. Gate” Valentina ruffled my shoulders.

She was crying and I just could not remember why. Finally, looking at the body of Nina, I realized that she was dead. And Ryan was, too, died. Their souls have found the long-awaited peace there in heaven, where no one had ever been.

“She died” Valentina was screaming hysterical voice.

I gently cupped her face.

“No. She’s with him there” I pointed to the sky.

They are not dead, and it was the absolute truth. I was supposed to die together with Nina, but I’m not dead. Consequently, she did not die.

I never knew love. Nina and Ryan taught me this. Two worlds joined by their love. I ceased to be a hideous shadow, taking the place of honor Mr. Gate. Valentina gave birth to two wonderful girls, one of which gave the name Nina. I became a good friend of their family. With regard to memory, no one will ever forget them, Nina and Ryan. No one will forget their love, which was higher than the heavens themselves. No one will ever be able to forget them.

From Author!

Thank you for reading this story. If you want to share with me your opinion about this book please take my mail address. I will so happy if you write me. I am very grateful to you for what you have found time for this story. I can only say that Nina and Ryan are in the best place and their love has found immortality. Thank you, dear reader!

With Love by Angelina Krafft!!

My mail address [email protected]

First death then life

Heaven plays two lives again. Nina Ross forgets her love, but her heart remembers everything. She finally find a way to Ryan and thinks it's all over. But in their life problems reappear. Ryan sacrifices himself to save her, but it becomes an error. Nina between life and death. Can they save their love and life of Nina?

  • ISBN: 9781311704306
  • Author: Angelina Krafft
  • Published: 2016-01-25 13:05:10
  • Words: 35541
First death then life First death then life