Loading...
Menu
Ebooks   ➡  Fiction  ➡  Biographical

FATE OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

p<>{color:#000;}.

[++]

This book is Rite Protected. Any material used from this book without permission will be prosecuted as per existing Law.

This book is p<>{color:#000;}.

[Biographical notes from
Satish Arora]

Life in USA with Norma Arora after arrival

904 729 1116

My Present Ph: +91 9772972233

I Satish Arora am the owner of Jaxride shuttle (http://jaxride.com/ ) service in Jacksonville FL, a ground transportation firm that provides transportation to and from “Jacksonville International Airport” services to Public and corporations.

I had to come back to India due to an accident caused by an uninsured motorist on Apr 28th 2015 for L4 Laminectomy, L5-5 Discectomy, b/L-4-5 Transpedicular Screw and Rod Fixation along with posterior lumber Intervertebral Body Fusion under GA.

Prior to my current business, I had been working in various fields and organizations. That includes 10 years of Indian Navy in Logistic support, 2 Years in multinational abrasive material industry, 2 Years in Christ is the Answer team touring villages in India, 2 Years in Printing Ink Industry as a store executive, 7 years in Sultanate of Oman Army as Instructor of Logistic support, 22 years in Taxi and limousine services in the USA.

Education: Hindi medium high school dropout. I left home in 1964 towards an unknown destination. After spending 3 years in various towns in India doing various jobs, returned home. On my mother’s persuasion I did odd jobs and appeared for graduated from Hindi medium school Board exam.

As of today my son lives in Mumbai/Goa with occasional strained contacts and daughter somewhere in Sacramento CA with no contact from last 1995.

 

My contacts

91-977297223 (India)

904 729 1116 (USA)

[email protected]

[email protected]

 

 

 

Introduction

We can see hundreds of books about men being abusive to women. Men are generally perceived to be abusive. Behind these perceptions, women secretly and slowly abuse in a silent manner like slow venom. And by the time one realizes, it is too late and man is already tangled in the web. Similar to above I found one quote on Internet blog from my ex after 7 years of divorce:

Date:

5/15/2003

Time:

11:07:32 AM

Remote User:

Comments

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP THIS INFORMATIVE WEBSITE. I AM AN RN FROM BOMBAY INDIA. HOWEVER, I HAVE TWO GROWN CHILDREN FROM MY FIRST MARRIAGE. MY FIRST HUSBAND WAS DIAGNOSED WITHPERSONALITY DISORDER’ I DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS ONE OF THE SPECTRUM FOR MANIC DEPRESSION. SORRY FOR MY IGNORANCE. PSYCHIATRY WAS NOT MY FORTE. HE WAS SUICIDAL, ABUSIVE AND FINALLY WE GO A DIVORCE. I AM CONCERNED FOR MY KIDS NOW. ONE OF THEM HAS BEEN INCARCERATED FORWRONG DECISIONSPOOR JUDGEMENT. HE KEPT REPEATING THE SAME OFFENCES AND FINALLY IS IN DEPORTATION PROCEEDINGS DUE TO HISCRIMINALRECORD. I AM CONVINCED HE IS DEALING WITH HIS FATHERS DEMONS BUT CANNOT PROOVE IT. CAN YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HELP. PLEASE WRITE TO ME AT [email protected] AND THANKS.”

 

There was no response to above comments.

 

Often men don’t like to talk about abuses they go through behind closed doors. It is matter of insult and they lose their integrity. But when abusive behavior crosses the thresholds, they start to defend themselves behind their gender being abused instead.

If the partner is abusive, following 11 signs, in partner’s behavior are visible after tying the knot.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner throws a huge tantrum if she/he doesn’t get her/his way.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner discourages you from hanging out with your friends and family.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner’s language is often peppered with put-downs.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner’s gaslights. Gaslighting is a manipulation technique abusive people use to try to get their victims to feel crazy. A person who gaslights says and does things to get you to doubt your own sanity. For example, your wife had a long discussion about where to take your next vacation. You agree to go to Agara for a week. Later, when you bring up that mater a couple of days later, partner tells you “I never agreed to go to Agara”;

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner makes you hand over your paycheck to her/him else, doesn’t want you to work.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner has unreasonable expectations.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner threatens to call the police or influential people when you have a disagreement.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner is very unpredictable.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner e tries to “diagnose you” with some kind of emotional/mental problem.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner uses fear, obligation, or guilt to get what she/he wants.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Partner often tries to threaten to leave by divorcing.

Final thoughts

Whether you’re a man or a woman, abusive relationships can be hell. It’s only my way or no way. There is no understanding or reconciliation or forgiveness. The abuser never remembers their mistakes and abuses instead it keeps reminding abused individual about faults and shortcomings. There is pleasure of power in abuser. Ultimately the relationship continues due to certain responsibilities and support in certain places. If it is stretched too far, it finally breaks and then abuser doesn’t want to be left alone without a slave.

Verbal abuse can be ever-so-subtle, as my story illustrates. Yet it leaves me in a lot of pain and confusion. Believing in a different reality where I am trying to communicate in rational ways with her, I tried to make sense of her treatment, not understanding that sometimes I mean behavior makes no sense, has no rational explanation, and has nothing to do with.

But I so badly wanted to make sense of her behavior that it doesn’t put an end to it, instead continuing to search for explanations of what could have caused her to treat me that way. I thought that perhaps something about her behavior made me the case that I deserved to be treated badly.

Because I did not yet fully grasp the idea of her verbal abuse—abuse at a purely verbal or mental level—I thought that her maltreatment must have a rational explanation.

So, I confronted the behavior, not the way she ought to confront my behavior, but the way she ought to confront rational behavior. I asked for an explanation, asked for examples of the generalizations made by her, and asked her to make sense of the abuse.

But I was losing. Her—verbal, and emotional abuses included—do not act rationally. Asking me for a reason or trying to reason with her is pointless. She had no good reasons for behaving the way she did. She would respond with more abuses. You cannot reason with an abuser. A verbal abuser will define your reality, decide what you can or cannot do, and treat you as an (in-her-eyes) ugly part of herself, a part that she have to undermine in order to keep up her own sense of self.

There is only one way to end verbal abuse: Call it to the abuser’s attention.

If that doesn’t work, the only way out is to leave, as fast as you can. I did leave but not fast enough.

It’s up to you to judge. It does not matter now as game is over. If you can get something from my story, It will be worth and blessings.

Sultanate of Oman

I acquired the Oman Army Job while I was working for printing Ink manufacturing company at Vakola Mumbai. Before Vakola job we had spent two years in the Christ is the Answer team. We had to return after 2 years because of my chronic back pain. After landing at Mumbai, we realized the life was tough. 2 small children, no job and no place to live! Norma had put on her Nursing uniform and registered at private nursing bureau. She was on the job immediately. I had to look for one and it was long process applying and interview with hundreds of competents. It took around six months, walking with back pain, traveling and managing with little money. Job was comfortable with not many demands on my physical capability. I was continuously in pain, she was struggling very hard to preform her responsibilities in looking after children, me and job too. Like a good mother and wife, she struggled and performed her duty at the best. Still the expenses were more than income at the same time living conditions as sharing with her family were very difficult. She sought a job in the convent boarding school as Infirmary nurse where children can get education and we can stay in living quarters. My back was giving up on me and I could take no more. I visited several Doctors and was prescribed one after other pain killers. Had been to chiropractors too with unsuccessful attempts for back pain relief. Same time her mother whispered her saying I was pretending to get her attention. To my good luck my wife being an RN understood my pain. In the mean time she had come across her Nurse friend whose husband has the similar back problem and was shipped from Africa to Mumbai for surgery. She contacted her friend to get the information about the doctor. It was doctor Chaubal who had suffered himself with same problem. Therefore he had done extensive study on back and understood the patient’s pain in an extraordinary manner. We both had a visit and doctor explained that there was no other alternative except laminectomy (spinal surgery). He was very companionate and asked her to arrange an operation theater, medications and hospital room for recovery. He will come and do the surgery on the appointed day. In the meantime he prescribed me with valium. It is used to treat anxiety disorders, symptoms, or muscle spasms. I found much relief with valium. I understood most of my back was due to anxiety and tension being not able to take responsibility of family.

I called my mother for financial help and physical presence to take care of children. Schools were on holidays. My mother came from Jaipur to Mumbai with my sister. Surgery was performed successfully and I was released from hospital after two weeks. After one month I joined the duty and life was getting normal. The school principle objected children’s visit to her living quarters. It was unbearable for us as well as for children to live on the same campus and not visit parents. She was fired and we moved to rented chawl in Dahisar. Life was beginning again. Due to high living expenses, we were working alternate shifts. I worked in the day at factory and she worked night shift as private nurse. I noticed it was not enough to survive therefore I started looking for better paying job. I came across Sultanate of Oman Army needed ex-servicemen to join their Army in active service on yearly contract bases. I applied and joined the duty in Oman.

After coming to Oman I realized I was on the wrong place. All my superiors were from Pakistan ex 1971 POWs. I being an Indian and ex-navy fought indo pak war in 1971. It became their matter of attitude towards me. I had joined army as logistic support staff after qualifying their entrance educational test. Here I was not allowed to come to office but work in the field taking care of tranches, moving stones from one place to other in the 50 degree temperature. I kept one gallon of cold water in cooler and kept drinking. I was given non air-conditioned accommodation so that I will resign and go away. My boss often told me that his brother-in-law is working as construction worker and being paid ¼ of my salary. Later on I saw his application file in the office. He had tried his brother-in-law for my job but they recruited me from India. I understood the situation and was sure that they cannot touch me or fire me. If I put up with them, they will have to put up with me. I started my back pain again. I called to get our doctors’ advice, same time I visited army hospital and advised to avoid heavy work. Reply was from India was just take a pain killer and go on. Now my boss has a reason to put me to tough physical work. Therefore One day I was told to dig the trench in the afternoon. I took it easy and was digging and drinking cold water. He returned after an hour and was disappointed with my performance. He was ex POW from Pak Army. He said “you know if I dig how much it will be in this much time?” I said “I can only do this much” his reply was “Did you not dig trenches in the Indian Army?” my reply “I was in the navy and we did not dig trenches in the sea”.

There was plenty to free time. Office hours were 8 to 1 and thereafter nothing. Everyone went to video hall to watch movies. I was least interested in movies, instead I was beginning to think as how this VCR and TV produce picture. On my first vacation I brought Basic Electronics, Fundamentals of TV and VCR. On my return my boss realized that I am not going to leave and he can do nothing more than what he had been doing. So he did not want me in his dept. commanding officer asked me if I can manage Unit canteen. I was more than happy to do that. Now I was managing Unit canteen and was studying electronics in my office. I bought a television and VCR to do physical study. One day one Omani soldier saw me looking into the television circuit board and asked if I knew how to repair one. I said yes. He brought one of his non-working TV. That was my first practical. There was an electronic repairs shop near army base owned by an Indian. I visited him and started helping and learning from him. Very soon I was known as TV man. I had more work than I could handle. One day CO called me and asked if I can repair his TV. I did at his house and he rewarded me with separate TV workshop next to Unit canteen. I was allowed to repair and charge soldiers for electronic repairs. I was also given a separate living quarters next to Unit canteen. Life was falling on right place.

Now there was financial relief. Just After coming to Oman I had submitted Norma’s resume to Ministry of Health Sultanate of Oman. After a year by now she was called by a recruiting agent in Mumbai to appear for interview. She was qualified and posted in a remote country side hospital. We bought a Mazda sports car to travel up and down. She was given single quarters and I too had single quarters in the Army base. We longed for weekends to spend time together. Andrew and Ruth were in Matheran Boarding school. John Philip one of our good friends took care of our Mumbai and children’s affairs. Later on I was able got visa for children to join us. In the beginning Ruth {my daughter) lived with her and Andrew (my son) lived with me in the Army Base. We managed about a month and took a rental apartment. I was surprised to see her behavior change soon after coming to Oman with a job of RN. While I was in Oman, My mother back in Jaipur wanted to divide the family property among me and my brothers. They were not aware of my whereabouts. Therefore they wrote letter at the Mumbai P.O Box address. I called my mother and she explained me the division plan and said that my sister is ready to give up her rights on property so that the division can be done easily. Same time my mother asked me to send Rs 10,000 ($300 as per the rate at that point of time) to construct a kitchen and a bathroom on my share of land. Plan was agreeable to me. But on the other end at Mumbai, Norma did not inform me instead she dashed to Jaipur. She wanted to change the plan and insisted everyone should agree to her plan. My mother informed her of our conversation and my agreement over it. She picked up a loud argument and they just ignored her. She called me from Jaipur and wanted to explain her version of plan. I saw it was very unreasonable. My question to her was “what are you doing at Jaipur. It’s my family and my property, let me handle it”. She was not happy with my answer. One end she never liked them and always kept me away without any communication. When I got her a job in Oman one day she was in my room going through all papers, she saw a counterfoil of Rs 10,000 in my file. I still remember even God was not able to save me from her screaming.

 

Her salary was more than mine and I was looked down. She will start nagging the moment she enters car irrespective to children being in the car. Starts arguing on unfounded matters and forced her advice as how to keep my job. To tell you the fact, she had never had kept a job in her life neither in India nor in USA.

I never asked for her pay check. We had two bank accounts. One was our joint account and the other was hers. My money was used to be in the joint account, and she could withdraw whenever she wanted to. In Oman she used to make me spend my paycheck which was used to be less than hers and then she would trash me with curses that I don’t take care of her. Her money was only hers. She bought gold whereas, I had no money even for gas and had to walk. She refused to contribute in family expenses. Since She had her own bank account and would use it for her own personnel needs? On asking to spare some money towards house expense, her reply was “you married me now it is your responsibility to take care of me”.

Little while later, I was made spare by regiment, I was informed by a colleague that there is vacancy of Instrument technician in National Survey Authority managed by Sultans cousin. I approached him and he was aware of my TV workshop. He told me to repair his computer monitor and I will have the job. I instantly replaced the defective diode and monitor was operational. He promised me for doing necessary paperwork to get me transferred. Here when I came to the base they handed me the one way ticket to leave after two days. I wanted to make a phone call to NSA but all Pakis won’t let me use office phone. I went to CO and asked if I could use his phone. I called NSA and informed the situation. Few hours before departure, base got the signal saying I am transferred to NSA as Instrument Technician. Next day I reported to Ruwi office and was given responsibilities of survey instruments and Transportation fleet. Therefore I had the excess to ministry of defense cars. Same time we managed to get her transferred to nearby hospital and got children admitted in central school nearby. We rented an apartment in Ruwi. I would take her and children to hospital and school and then go to my office. Middle of my work I would pick up children and keep them to my office. End of my work I would pick her and all of us go home. Life was running smooth and comfortable. It was not a permanent position, we both were on yearly contract.

Therefore we decided to move on from Oman to some other country. We applied in UNDP (United Nations Development Project) as volunteers. Where my I.Q was concerned, I had` always been looked down (Bullying). She had superiority complex. Once again I had to face her reactions for UDNP venture since her qualification was not considered applicable but I was considered a right candidate. I was accepted, subject to the condition that I should not go to India. May be they had problems getting my clearance done from the Indian government at that time. She was not willing to join UDNP under my contract. It was her ego and superiority complex for being Anglo Indian with English as a mother tongue. She did not have regard for India, or Indians. She considered herself a British. She often used to say that she has British with blue blood. In recent web search I found this article by her

NeaBen

I am a Young Vibrant Enthusiast, with a perfect ECG graph patern!!! I am a crustasion: Definately in the health care field, a Nutritionist on the go(Internationally travelled). My latest sites are…… Gourmet2gonow is my budding nutrition presence on the web and I invite you to punch this into your browser window and surf and enjoy. I am Paternally of Spanish and German and English, AND Portuguese, Irish and Italian MateRnally. My life has variety and I have heard ‘Variety is the Spice of life’. So, I guess I’m in the right business and hobby. Though change is good, its not always necessary. So, I won’t change anything. Reviewed 2010”

 

In above she did not identify herself and Indian.

So I used to ask why she couldn’t get visa to UK if that was the case… Once when we were traveling to Sultanate of Oman, there was a man before them at the immigration counter. He looked like an Indian, dressed in Gujarat outfit. He was speaking Guajarati and Hindi but had British passport. I told her that he is a British Citizen; so she replied how he can get British citizenship when he cannot speak English properly. I was always being taunted about my Indian accents. Before her coming to Oman while she was at Mumbai, we applied for Australian migration. It was based on points system. However, if one of the spouses was accepted, whole family was permitted to travel. Norma had the advantage of extra points for English (being her mother tongue) and a blood relative is living in Australia. Being a Registered Nurse in India, she miscalculated or overestimated her employability. If her profession was not considered or acceptable under Australian migration policy, she could have scored enough points needed to migrate. Unfortunately Indian nursing diploma does not meet the employability criteria in Australia. Ultimately, neither one of us could score sufficient points required to qualify. Because my points were more than hers as her employability was left blank, it became the reason for the disruption in our harmony.

Because of my insufficient income I decided to buy and sell cars at profit. I took bank loans to buy a nice car to be sold on profit.. She made my life miserable by nagging every day as why car is not sold as per my estimated profit. Once, a buyer came to my office and offered cash on the spot to buy it. I sold it making a profit of $800 and told her about the deal, for which I had to bear the brunt of not taking her permission before selling. She demanded to bring the car back because it is not sold on desired profit. It was not possible so demanded the money saying it was hers. I said it is ours and we will buy more cars similarly. I wanted to keep it for the next purchase she insisted it was her money. Then I asked where does my money go? And she replied “Your money is gone towards sleeping with me. Again she repeated you married me and brought me, it’s your duty to feed me and provide me with my demands.” My emotions went high, I had cooked fried rice and was at the table for lunch. Children were watching us; I did not know what to say. She would say anything at any time without looking at surroundings. I felt like he was married to a prostitute and was agitated and had to get my wrath out without hurting anyone. So I picked up the glass bowl filled with lunch and threw it on the floor. It was broken into several pieces. Instead of being apologetic she blamed me for destroying material of the house. Apparently, by now she had learnt which button to press to agitate me. I realized that she has no human or relationship value but only materialistic outlook.

Once we went to picnic in Oman and on the way we visited Army canteen. She saw a pair of sunglasses same as the one she had bought a month ago. Prices were marked down for clearance. She went to the counter and demanded the refund. The salesman explained that the prices were marked down only today. She had made a cash purchase and was not in possession of the receipt. Also canteen had a policy of all sales final. No return or exchange was allowed unless the product was defective. I suggested drop the argument but she was up to big arguments. It did not make sense to me so she started shouting at me in front of everyone in an insulting manner “Being my husband, you should be supporting me rather that this salesman”. We went to the car and she went on repeating all my shortcomings since the day they got married. We were going for a picnic for having some good time with children. But I had to make U-turn and get back home.

I wanted to get away from Oman so that we were not left alone to face argument. I was so disgusted with her behavior, I wanted to leave everything and come back to India. I also thought of moving to some other country considering things may get better. Thinking if they could go to another country may be things will change. Back in India when I had similar unfounded arguments situation, on her persuasion I joined Christ the answer team and we had community disciplined living. Eventually, we approached our pastor an American for advice. We discussed pros and cons and the ways to go. We had a field open for us which was to go for Bible College. We had just returned from missionary field from India. While in the team for two years, we had spent time in various towns visiting churches, orphanages and leprosy hospitals. We had developed the liking towards other languages and cultures. May be if we get professional qualifications, we could go back and start working in Christianity field. I was born and brought up in Hindu family and have read Koran to get knowledge. I have also read Bible several times and attended several bible studies. I had developed a strong faith in Christ and practiced living by faith for two years, where one hears incidents on miracles and answers to prayers. So we decided to move forward by faith hoping that the god will provide a sponsor.

VISA TO USA

Pastor Rogers gave us the recommendations for admission to the Bible College and at the same time Pastor spoke to the American councilor. I had good recommendations from my British colonel. Following week we were told to see the councilor. We went to see the councilor in the American Consulate at Sultanate of Oman. We were taken inside to his office where he spoke to us. It made us surprised by his answer. Although, in the beginning his words were very discouraging saying as for immigration or visa point of view, there is no way you can get any of them? You have nothing to comeback for. i.e. your business, family or children . We have to be sure once you go there, you will return and not become burden on welfare agencies. But then he said “so far I was telling you what I was supposed to tell you at the window but now I am telling you what I was not supposed to tell you at the window. Apply for admission to the collage, get I-20 and I will grant you visa. You have a bright future in US”. He looked at her and said “being a registered nurse, you will get $70,000 job and will get sponsored immediately. Then you can sponsor the whole family.” once again her superiority complex was raised and was flying high touching the sky. It was not at all disturbing for me as I always looked forward for the growth of the entire family.

We prepared the statements and put together all credentials. By the time we had received the packet for admission forms. Finally we submitted the documents and in two weeks she was granted the I-20. My admission was denied due to my non-English background. It was stated that I’ll be granted once I submit the certificate of TOFEL (Test of English as a Foreign Language). I suggested her to get visa for her and children and leave for US. I could join them there later once I clears through the formalities. Also, being in the US she could pursue them for his I-20. Finally she got an F_1 Visa for her and F_2 for children for 2 years. I immediately booked tickets for them and sent them with all the money we had. She promised to send back the money with the I-20 once she has arranged I-20 for me.

she landed in US and arrived at Reformed Bible College on east beltline in Grand Rapids Michigan, she was astonished to see There was no public transport or any other mode of convince available except own car. She was not a driver. She felt herself as cadged in apartment. She was totally dependent for the smallest thing and had to ask for help for transportation. She felt completely handicapped and realized that there was a great need for her husband to be there with them. Therefore she pursued them to issue my I-20. I was granted the I-20 under the condition of clearing the TOFEL exam on arrival and if I fail, I shall be sent back. College agreed to her terms and issued necessary I-20 for one year. She sent me the money with the I-20 and as promised. After visiting American Consulate, I was issued one year visa immediately and left Oman for the good.

There was a lot of excitement and big dreams in my eyes. It was his longest flight so far in life. It was from Oman to London to Chicago and Grand Rapids MI. At Chicago airport I was supposed to get custom clearance of baggage. I was carrying two suitcases so I needed a cart. I saw carts on cart stand and tried to pull the first one but it did not come out. Whenever I visited Mumbai or Oman, the carts were placed in cart stand, one comes and pulls one cart and places his luggage. Then I noticed, there is no free lunch in USA. I have to insert $1 in the cart cash box to get one cart out. As of today it is $5. I received warm welcome at the Grand Rapids airport. She brought a college van with a student to drive.

After arrival I needed to buy a car. First I needed a driver’s license to buy the car. It was minus ten temperatures. I saw directions to secretary of state office (driver’s license office) it was only 3 miles or 4.5 km. So I thought I can walk. Unaware of weather conditions, I left walking towards DL office. I was feeling colder and colder, to keep my body warm I was walking faster and faster. I was at midway and my whole body was beginning to freeze. For once I thought I should go back but then said to myself there is no going back. I am already half way. I can go forward and get to the destination in same amount of time. I saw road curved in half circle and could see the office location in front right across the snow field It looked like playground. why follow the road making half circle. Once I thought I can go straight across the snow covered ground as short cut. I stopped and started calculating in my mind. I found the snow is about knee high. I am without snow boots. So I decided to follow the read. Later on in summer I discovered, it was a frozen lake covered with snow. Good I made right decision; otherwise I would be frozen like mummy in the lake today. I got to the office and was served immediately. Within half an hour all formalities were complete and was in possession of a Michigan State learning Driver’s license. I left and saw a shopping strip. There was a muffler (Car exhaust) retail shop with repair facility. I started to look around the shop for the procedures and business practices. Since I had no car, manager asked me if I need some help. I asked for public transportation to RBC. The manager called a Taxi for me. Within minutes Yellow cab showed up at the door. Cab was warm and comfortable inside. The driver looked comfortable driving worm cab. He was at RBC in 5 minutes and meter showed $7.00. I thought to myself I just paid Rs 350 for 5 minutes ride. I use to calculate US$ into Indian Rs. And see how much it costs. Next day I called Enterprise rent a car. They came home and took me and Norma to their business location in town. It took half an hour to complete formalities to rent a car. Now we both proceeded in rental car for car hunting. We went to some dealers and asked few questions. Cars market was quite high. She insisted on financing. We being new in USA with no job and no credit line had no chance to qualify for financing without security signatures from someone with good credit ratings. She spoke to our foreign student advisor Paul Hostetter to co-sign. I was not at all in favor. We had no source of income and had college expense with two teens to be looked after. I was of the opinion that we must manage with whatever we have and should hope to get a sponsor for our expenses soon. Car was not luxury but the necessity. I knew that whatever we had will not last very long. She had already done some unwanted shopping. She had more faith that the God than reality. She always spent unwisely and would say that God will provide. My explanation was that the lord will not provide by getting security signature and then make someone to pay for trusting us. If we are not able to pay; signatory will be responsible for payments and also it will mess up signatory’s credit rating. It’s coning.

I was not satisfied with one car dealer and went to another one. Finally we went to a dealer who had a manual transmission Chevy spectrum a small car with only heat and no Air conditioning. Being in the winter and North American cold weather most of year, we could manage. This was the cheapest among all mechanically good cars. Later on I learned that in USA, very few individuals know how to drive manual transmission cars and without air cooling. This is the reason the price was better than auto transmission with air-conditioned cars. Deal was settled at $2750 cash. We were introduced to some insurance agents by salesman. We paid insurance and got car to get number plate. Now we were ready to explore. Next day I was ready to appear for English exam. It was a simple high school Standard English question paper. I was qualified and was granted the admission. Since we were in the Bible College, family witness visitation and church activities were also in our curriculum. First Sunday we went to the Gold Avenue Church and were introduced to number of members. There the pastor appointed an elder Jerry as our outreach guide. Jerry was told to take us around the neighborhood for conversing about Christ. He was a divorcee with one son of Andrew’s age, owned a good house and was working as a real-estate agent. He was delighted to help us.

That was a new place with altogether different systems. Till now I had worked with manual inventory control, whereas now my job was taken over by computers. Hence, she was full of pride given that her employability and salary expectations were beyond her imagination much higher than mine. I realized that to get established in US, I have to find a different profession or start from scratch.

TRIP TO CANADA

Part of our curriculum was quire singing too. At the same time our collage was also preparing a quire singing group for trip to Canada for attracting students from Canadian churches. We were the part of the quire to sing in Canadian churches. We applied for the Canadian visa and were given 1 year multiple entry. We offered to go in our own car to Canada as quire group and visited various churches at the Canadian country side. She was looking forward to see her cousin christable Papoutsis her cousin who had migrated to Canada somewhere in 1970s. I heard the stories of Norma’s mother ill-treating their family at the time of need. Similarly her mother had ill-treated Norma’s father’s sister who migrated to US through marriage. She ill-treated her own mother us and son Tony who ended up with divorce in early marriage too. It is in her blood to ill-treat any one at the time of need. There was no respect for any one for her. Any one receives any mail, she would immediately open and read and start argument from the contents. There was only shouting and screaming thereafter. Through catholic churches and various phone directories we managed to establish contacts finally we decided to visit her cousins. By now we had seen Canada too and was not difficult for me to navigate the roads. We received a warm welcome. I felt occurred the way I was looked at by her cousin christable at that time, she took us in and showed us the house around. When she came to the kitchen, she told us that the kitchen was fully equipped; all we have to do is to bring our own groceries and cook whatever we like. She showed us her groceries as well. We were there for only two days to learn their ways to survive by finding jobs etc. internet was not born at that time. It was the year 1992. Well they went out and got some bread and eggs for a day and ate sandwich to survive.

Christable was and is in show dog business and had won many rewards by her show dogs. She visits all show dogs shows and interacts with various dog owners. She is a good dog trainer. She told us her life story and mentioned that she was not married. She had a son from her marriage with Sam (name changed). She expressed that she didn’t want to be attached to anyone as it takes a lot maintain relationship. She tried few relations but due to her demanding carrier had to leave as per her words I am very very busy with my career. I have been in the insurance field since 1986 and no one pays my salary! I have to earn it, and it isn’t easy!”

It was hard to be living with someone in Canada. In due course, I realized that it was common way of life in US too. Since her son was almost same age of their son, they went out in the yard and started playing ball. I, Andrew and her son were spending time together and women were within themselves. I don’t know what else was spoken on that day behind closed doors. After 22 years I found christable attitude towards Indians in this Facebook quote. “I was surprised to get a call from some guy named Satish, as I don’t have any Indian clients or friends here, I did not tolerate him for more than half a second”

40 Years in Toronto Canada where Toronto is one of the most multicultural cities in the world. South Asians are 12.3% same like Muslims in India. As per wikipedia.org Toronto has the largest Indian Community in Canada. Almost 51% of the entire Indo-Canadian community resides in the Greater Toronto Area. Most Indians in the Toronto area live in Brampton, [+ Gerrard Street+], Rexdale, Scarborough, and Mississauga. Indo Canadians have a particularly strong presence in Brampton, where they represent a third of the Populations, almost the entire population in the North-Eastern portion of the city. Indian carrier Jet Airways operates daily flights from Toronto Pearson International Airport to India. The Indians are mostly of Punjabi, Gujarati, Bengali, and Hindi, Marathi, and Kannada, keralite, Tamil and Goan origin.

If one is in a real estate and show dog business in Toronto and have no Indian clients or friends. Business like hers a person has to be really social. She must be really prejudiced. , “I did not tolerate him for more than half a second” what does that mean. She knew she is the cause of mess created over here. So she could not face me more than ½ second. I had been in contact with Norma’s sisters in India. They came to see me when I went to India for visit. Their conscience was clear because they did not cause any trouble.

When christable read about her in this book she sent me this explanation. (This was Christable’s conversation on the face book.) :

One of the reasons I opened this page (Facebook) was because, my boarding school pals were looking for me… and they are mostly Indian!! and I love them!

I got your call that evening, and I did not know who you were.. you had come to Canada to visit in the early 90s… how on earth do I remember you? last I heard, you and Norma were no longer together. and NO, I do not talk to her, as she and I have never been close. I was concerned for Andrew. as my son, really enjoyed his company when you all visited. In fact when she told me about Andrews problems that one time I spoke to her, I suggested she send him to me, and I would trim him up!

I never heard from Norma about conversation with christable. May be she was keeping secret, or it was true, I cannot comment on it. Without being close and never spoken, only onetime conversation and offer to take care of my son? That’s really greatness of person. Norma always wanted to send Andrew to India or somewhere else. She always took law enforcement’s help to manage her life. In conversation I cut her sentence. May be she wanted to tell me about christable’s invitation. I remember receiving a call from Christable on 8th July 1993 at my address on land line. She said “What happened to you all, never contacted me. I got your number from phone directory. Where is Norma? “My reply was “I had been busy here trying to sort out the mess. Here talk to Norma.” During restraining order Norma, was visiting me that day to spend night as her regular routine. She was free to do that and I was safe because she was at my place. I overheard Norma saying to christable that satish has filed a divorce so that he can get married and get green card and Norma moved to other room for rest of conversation and closed the door. I knew she was a liar and will be telling bunch of lies to keep her reputation.

But after hearing from christable Papoutsis explanation I learnt that christable wants to be distant from her cousin

“I have not been intouch with her.. and don’t intend to!Infact I have blocked her from here, as I do NOT to get involved with her and this. We are NOT the same , as I said prior… my parents were very strict with us… my father was a very strict and stern father! You did not play with boys, unless you were planning to marry them!”

This is the question I had been trying to answer myself. Why did I put up with so much abuse? Same time like everyone else christable also asked me:

“I am very, very sad for you and all you’ve put up with, [_ Satish, I really mean that! But WHY did you put up with it at all??? As your book sounds quite crazy with all the things she would do and say..of course there's always 2 sides of every story as well?” _]

you can read her conversation on FB

Like I have mentioned in the book,

#
p<>{color:#000;}. My concern for children.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I am the person with family values. I did not want to be the first one to break the tradition of “NO DIVORCE” in our whole close and distant family.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Hope that someone instead of providing handouts will advise her correctly that she was heading towards destruction.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. To save my 17 years of marriage from being ruined due to stupid reasons.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. We have worked so hard to come this far and now it was unbearable to see getting ruined.

In the evening we were taken to an Indian restaurant in Toronto. Christable instructed the waiter to separate the bills for individual family. We had Indian dinner paid our own bills and returned.

Following day we went to meet other cousin Laura. She was a doctor but does not practice due to unknown reason. Laura lived little distance away. She came to US and then moved to Canada. She explained us the ways to survive cost effectively in North America. She was also on handouts but was engaged in volunteer service. She told that by looking for free things, one can save big money and survive comfortably. There was a carton kept in front of them and by looking at it she said “see there are 800 toll free numbers. Always call toll free. Also there are many non-governmental NGOs provide help to illegal and people not eligible to work. There is a toll free number for “first call for help” they will guide you. I and Norma also went to first call for help when we were not welcome any more in the collage. There the attendant checked by the keyword of requirement on the computer, a whole list of agencies showed up. The clerk suggested a few from the list and gave them their phone numbers. Now we were supposed to call them and take appointments. They will then evaluate our financial capabilities and grant help accordingly. No agency was to gives cash. Payment was made either in the form of check to the landlords or utility companies etc. or in the form of food vouchers of the grocery stores.

RETURN FROM CANADA

We returned to the U.S and now I had to look for job or a sponsor for our studies and family support. Being new in the country with no contacts, we had to utilize every small bit of information we can get from any source. I could see the funds draining out and there was no source of income in a country where there was no one to advice. I stepped out to venture and to see what and how I can find work. She came behind me and screamed, “Get inside the house.” First time, I walked in calmly. I switched on the TV to watch the news and she came again and said, “Switch off the TV”. This was repeated pattern. If I saw children doing something wrong and corrected them, her tantrum is same, “don’t correct the children.” Whatever I was trying to do, the scream comes from her end “don’t …..” I’ve had too much; I got serious and asked her about her attitude. She replied, “I worked hard and brought you here. You are here because of me.” Does that mean that I have lost my identity, integrity and had to live like a slave? I believe if the master is wise, there is no harm in being a slave. I asked her that to find a job, we have to go out. She did not have a driver’s license; I had to drive her everywhere. We saw vacancies in a nursing home and she went to apply for job, and learnt that she wasn’t eligible for the same. She should either have a CGFNS (Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools) certificate or she needs to qualify NCLEX-RN at state level. She saw all her dreams getting shattered. I suggested myself to go out and work somewhere. I was ready to work at any level, anything from cleaning toilets to unload trailers, work in restaurant’s kitchen or any damn thing. I made a promise to take care of expenses while she prepares to qualify the exam and get sponsored. But wait, she had a different plan in her mind. Myself being unaware of her plan and she being the front runner in the family, I just had to go along according to her. She saw babysitting ads on college notice board and took a 2 hours babysitting job for $20. She calculated $20 into INR1000 as per Indian currency equal. I had to give her ride to the church’s ladies meeting and wait in the church parking lot in my car. She would come back in two hours with $20 in hand. This became a practice twice a week and I was wasting my time for $40 a week. I had no liberty to go anywhere unless she is accompanied. I had to bear it just to maintain peace. She got hooked up to AVON and later MaryKay (pyramid marketing of cosmetics) and bought some merchandise. Now I had to give her rides to find people for selling her product. I tried to explain her that we don’t have any friends circle or family circle presently we need basic income and not supplementary income. We cannot manage family with this much income and I must find something to get basic income to maintain the family. But now she was the in charge. She was ruling the roost. Same way the moment I wanted to go out, she would scream loud and say “get inside the house”. I got tired of her dominating behavior and being treated like a slave. After coming back from Canada, we were serious to start some source of income. And hence, we decided to first find a place to live. We saw an advertisement in the newspaper which said “motor home for sale”. We went there and saw one GMC van converted into motor home available for sale. It was old and needed some mechanical repair. We agreed to pay $500. We knew that if we are put on road we can survive in this van temporarily. But next moment we realized that we cannot park it anywhere and sleep in it. We need to get permission from a parking place to park however; cooking place and toilets were still a question mark. The plan went bad but still it came out to be good investment for emergency since we could always drive down to the rest area and park as travelers.

We visited some garage sales and noticed that people clear their unwanted materials and gifts in garage sales for pennies. We bought some goods with good bargains and took it to the flea market where they were sold for half the marked price whereas our investment was only in pennies. We did see some profit coming and so decided to do whole sale trade. I used to go around flea market to look for good deals. Most of the time, I would make a guess at the entrance gate that the person has come to dispose, I would buy the whole sale and put it in our stall. We did reasonably well over the weekends. At last, to my relief something was coming in. Soon we realized that the van which we had to move things around was not sufficient enough and we needed a bigger space. We went for an auto auction and bought an extended van. Unfortunately, we both were bidding against each other and we stopped. We got an extended school van for $330. We removed seats and we had plenty of space for goods. Now we were in fleet market and garage sales business. One day, our son came home and told that his friend wants to sell his can which he wants to buy for himself. I tried to avoid it because we were still not settled. On her and his persuasion, I took them to car location. It was for only $150. We checked and found that it had a minor accident on its right rear and also needed minor repairs. I said it could be taken care by me but we don’t need another vehicle. All that money was coming from my bank account, he and his mother both insisted hard and I had to agree to buy. She had her own bank account as well. Her plan was to exhaust my finances and grind me later the way she did in Oman. I trusted her like a fool. Slowly, things started changing at our personal level. We were together in business but no more as a family.

Soon after coming to the U.S, her superiority complex reached extreme heights. Herself being fluent in English, she considered this country as her own. I being an Indian and having non-English background and to maintain peace at home, had to come under her submission. I had to follow her instructions because everything was done in ‘British way’. I had to change myself to English ways Improve my English, start practicing American accent rather than speak Indian. It was not a bad idea, but could not be accomplished overnight. I did not feel anything was wrong in my speech except Indian accent. I realized that the correction on every word spoken with accent will only cause frustration and the topic of conversation would be lost in the accent correction.

TOUGH DECISION

It was becoming unbearable being pounded for every minor speech and one day I decided to leave home. Her attitude was changed soon after we met Jerry on a family outreach through church. He spoke to her showing some nonprofit agencies supporting immigrants with daily needs with employability issues. By now little food help was showing up at the door step once in a while. I wanted to go out and find a job but, the moment I used to leave the door, she would scream and tell me to “get inside the house! Why do you want to go out to look for job when lord is providing right up to the door”. She was one of those who lived by faith. I must call it begging here. She believed that the god would take care of everything. Well if I turn on the T.V, she would shout a loud to shut it down. Making fun of my accent and me being an Indian, was her daily practice. She was proud to be English. She used curses like “you are an Indian and will remain an Indian”. She used to behave as if I was illegal and she was the US citizen because of her English mother tongue. She included Children too to join her and made fun of me at every step. If I tried to correct children on any issue, she would scream and say “don’t correct children. Every day began screaming and ended screaming. My son told me that “All I hear is screaming and fighting in the house I noticed that the [+ I-94 card+] and the [+ I-20+] were missing from my passport. She had learnt that in the absence of these two documents, individual can be deported. She wanted everything to be done in a systematic manner. Therefore, she was preparing for my deportation by taking away my immigration papers. Then she started attacking my Indian outlooks, language, accent and movements. I was shoved in the corner and was picked up when needed for use. I was harassed and humiliated in public and in front of the children several times. So did children. She was the boss. I was in a state of confusion and was trying to find the possible solutions. If I tried to explain the situation and outcome of her actions, it made no difference. She was determined to do what she wanted to do. She was one of those shortsighted people who see immediate benefits and never think of long term effects of their today’s actions. Also she had noticed the divorced, separated and single women with children were taken care by state and local NGOs. If someone was with children, financial and material support pours from all sides because children should not suffer due to the circumstances. Woman could not go to work because children would be neglected. One day, I walked in the room and saw her lying on the bed. She saw me said “I….WANT…DIVORCE”. I was taken shocked. I am the one getting abused, I should be saying this. Funds were running out and there was no one around to help. And here she was, up to create more problems than to solve them. I approached our foreign student advisor Paul Hostetter, who had spent a long time as a missionary in Pakistan and was aware of our Indian culture. I put my issues across and she wanted to put across hers in secret. She had no interest in sexual relationship neither did I forced. Very seldom whenever she demanded, I was there for her. In the Counseling Paul said “first of all tell me the good times in life you had, good moments of you years of marriage and he went on and on. But it did not help much. Life became worse day by day. I decided to leave for a few days and go somewhere to make her realize my need in her life. I was not aware of above situation woman with children without husband benefits. Like I was in India, I calculated. One day, in the afternoon as we came from the class, I took food from the kitchen and placed it on the dining table. She apparently had no interest in cooking and I was the one who looked after feeding the family. Children were also at home, I turned on the TV to see the news. As usual, she screamed telling me to “switch off the TV” and started arguing with screams and in the end stated “I want a divorce”. I said you want a divorce, I will give you. From now on, I am dead for you all. I took my suitcase, packed a few clothes and got into the car. Children were watching unaware of situation and outcome. I was some kind of a mental case. And that’s where she wanted to drive me. It was USA both man and woman has same rights. Why she could not go and file a divorce herself? Now she has to play such a way that she maintains her innocence and prove me bad guy. Now I can understand as what was cooking in her mind. She was already well versed with American system benefits for women without man and with children. Also there are many rich single/divorced men available. One of them was Jerry. It’s only possible if she can get rid of me without blame on her. She can prove me abusive if I had to react to her abuses, As per present situation, I didn’t care if she could find a rich man and she filed the divorce.

I left for an unknown destination. I drove down on Interstate-131, at end of hwy I followed the car in front of me and car took couple of turns and reached state Rd. 5. It then turned to some local street. I continued driving and connected to Interstate-69. I kept on going. When I saw a big town lit up. I decided to exit the highway. Soon I understood that it was Indianapolis Indiana. I stopped at the Walgreens parking lot. Since it was winter, it got dark early. I was thinking weather this was enough. I calculated various options in my mind. May be I should sleep here and go back tomorrow. Or should I continue further or should I stay in Indianapolis Indiana. I was not willing to go back to that mess any time so soon and was also not interested to stay so close to Grand Rapids. Therefore I decided to continue. I looked into the map and was thinking where to go. After considering various options. I decided to go towards New York City. There were no GPS and had to follow the map. I was good at following maps as I had traveled all over India with the help of maps. I took HWY 70 then 76 and then 78. It was altogether 963 miles (1550 Kms). I was very tired and could not drive any more. I took the next exit and came down to the Main Street. It was around 4 A.M. I found an empty parking spot and went to sleet in the car. When I got up I scanned my surroundings. I saw a sign saying “Eva’s Kitchen”. I assumed it was some kind of subsidized kitchen. I was hungry too. I went up and noticed it was not a kitchen. I went to the window and asked for information about this kitchen. They informed me that it was a drug addicts Rehabilitation center. They accepted inmates on order by the court to get the drug addicts rehabilitated. I met the director and asked whether I could be accepted in this house. I explained my family problem in brief whatever was necessary. He was willing to help me for boarding and lodging under the condition that I attend all the NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) meetings. Since I belonged to the field of outreach and was presently in Bible College, it was a good idea to learn about these meetings. It was an exciting opportunity to know about addicts problems. I accepted the offer gladly and offered them help in other fields if necessary. I was given a room with a bed and had sharing washrooms. There was a kitchen where everyone cooked in turns. We had monthly schedule for meetings and I was supposed to attend their next meeting. I was not a drugs addict but even then I had to attend. During the meeting I was observing people, they were reciting their drug free journey so far. One by one they stood up, said something about himself and counted the number of days he is free from drugs. He promised to make his life drug free one day at a time. On my turn I got up and said “I am drug free so far and will be forever” everyone looked at me with surprise so I told that I was there to observe how that program functioned. Then the coordinator came and explained the negative sides of drugs abuse.

I spent one week there and then it was time to call and find out consequences of my departure. I called and Norma picked up the phone. As she heard my voice, she became cautious. While replying I heard a small beep sound and I knew right away that she has pressed the answering machine’s record button. Immediately I said, “Why are you recording” and she said “NO I am not recording” and then I heard a small beep sound again. I was calling home after one week of my departure and everything sounded so normal. She didn’t tell me anything about children or herself. I called up again the next day to and expressed my financial concern for them. I then called Paul Hostetter and asked his advice. He said he will talk to her and let me know soon. He spoke to both of us next couple of days to access the situation and calculated the ways to end this turmoil, Finally one evening he advised me to come down to grand rapids and discuss the matter together.

Paul Hostetter.

When I went to RBC, I was first received by Paul Hostetter and his wife Dorothy Hostetter. Paul because of his experience in mission field, he was professor of missiology and foreign student advisor. He was a man of few words but every word of his was full of knowledge and deep meaning. His knowledge of dealing with individuals of cultures and religions was very impressive. Apart from English his mother tongue he also spoke, read and wrote Urdu. Urdu is mixture of Hindi, Punjabi, Pashto, Persian, and Arabic. He got a degree in B.D (bachelor of divinity) in 1954 and was in missionary field since 1955. He spent 3 years in Sudan, 5 years in Gujranwala Pakistan and 5 Years in Chiapas Mexico. After he and his wife serving till 1985 in crystal Cathedral as Minister of Mission and evangelism He was invited to join RBC as professor and director of field education and his wife as director of admissions. After his retirement from RBC in 1996, he continued to work at “words of hope”

Me being collage deserter, Paul Hostetter had great sympathy for me and provided me with guidance time to time. He also tried to intervene with Norma to change her behavior, but she refused to take heed to the counsel therefore his approach was only one way. On the day of arrest when Norma called police, before police arrived, I tried to contact him but was not available. Later on after my arrest, Norma wanted to find out who I was trying to call. She redialed. It was Dorothy on the other end. Norma did not speak but hung up. Later on Norma told me that she thought I was trying to call some woman.

Since I was taken into custody and was not dressed warm, it was very cold in lockup. I called Hostetter collect and explained the situation. He came to lockup and delivered me a hoodie.

He informed me about letter against me from other college foreign student advisor to immigration authority for my deportation. He also wrote a memo as reference to my situation at the same time he was very concern about Andrew and Ruth. Therefore he wrote a letter to Ruth Explaining the real situation.

While Andrew was in long prison, I use to call few prison authorities to track Andrew. When I came to know that he is in Grand Rapids prison, I called Paul and he initiated contact with prison Chaplin to pass my phone number to Andrew to call me collect. I was in Atlanta Georgia at that time.

At last I must say his contribution as mentor to me was remarkable. I was able to put myself together at the time of extreme trouble because his concern for me.

RETURN TO GRAND RAPIDS

I spoke to Paul about discussing the matter in person at 9 P.M and left for Grand Rapids around 10 P.M. I drove for about 750 miles nonstop (because I took shortest way) and reached Grand Rapids MI somewhere between 10 A.M to 11 A.M. I was happy to be back. I had lots of hopes and expectations. I was positive that the things will work out. Till today, I had not been able to understand that why couldn’t I read between the lines of her behavior. I wish if I had someone who could analyze the situation for me. I always saw the positive sides and had full faith in her loyalty. I often had little doubtful thought over her loyalty. But at the same time I could see she took too much trouble to get me here. I was puzzled. While talking to Paul, I asked him the same question. He told me that she was stuck in here without movement. In Grand Rapids Michigan place like east belt line, places are far far away. College is built middle of nowhere. If you need a loaf of bread, you need a car to go. Bike was out of question. Since it was freezing outside and one could not survive for more than 10 minutes. Our family had never experienced extreme cold and countryside before. It was only after I came; we bought a car and were able to move around. Also after watching her cousin’s lifestyle in Canada, she changed her mind. I wish she had told me that she has changed her mind. I totally forgot she had told me “I want divorce” just before I deserted them.

I went to the door and knocked. She refused to open. I went to the office of Paul’s office and explained me the situation. He said “she is in the apartment. I just spoke to her. Go back and I will call her now. I returned and pressed my ears to the door to overhear her. When she was finished talking on the phone, I knocked genteelly thrice with reasonably long intervals but still there was no answer. I wondered what the conversation all about was. I came back to the car. There were so many taught running in my mind. Was it the end of “us” or beginning of some trouble? All my dreams and aspirations in America were coming to an end. I was getting a sense of rejection. I wanted to know what was there in her mind. There were hundreds of questions in my mind with extreme tiredness and sleeplessness. I felt I was losing my thinking capability. My brain was vibrating with car sound I had been hearing for the past 12 hours and sounds of phone calls and day’s conversation and sounds of NA & AA environment. My mind was wondering around. All I could think was, Is this end of my happy life. Why did I come to USA? How much love and affection we had. I sacrificed all my relatives and friends;

Before marriage, once I had mentioned of calling my mother for few days after we get settled. It was like a shock to her. She told the same to her mother and onward to church elders by both. I was called and interviewed by several church elders and pastors to tell “Ephesians 5:31 says For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” and pressed on issue to conclude that it will not be a good idea to get my mother live with us. Well it was only a thought with no possibility. I was in the navy and had been on the move, ever since I joined, I had 14 transfers in 10 years of service. I did not have proper living conditions and was on house hunting at every new place. I was not at all prepared to marry at that time. We had no accommodation not even a wedding suit. I got married in my navy uniform. But I was always faithful and had no one else in life.

I was thinking more and more, what if everything is finished? What is my future without my loved ones? I decided to end my life knowing no one is going to be affected. I was out for a week and they learnt to live without me. I guess they didn’t need me in life. I was the one living for them and came here because of them. I was not wanted anymore and decided to end my life. But how should I? Should I drive my car down the road and run into a semi-truck? No one will be hurt but me only. What if I escape? I had another idea. Once I read a medical psychology book that there was an incident about suicide. Where a person ran a car in garage and closed it. He slept in car and died due to carbon monoxide. The car was available but there was no garage. It was an open space and there was no scope of suffocation. So I decided to inhale it directly from the car exhaust. My Car was on ignition and went out and positioned my mouth on the exhaust. One of the students saw and informed college administration. They called emergency and was pulled by firefighters. I was feeling dizzy and could not even stand. I fell down and next I know I was in the hospital. My mouth was covered with the oxygen mask. I did not see Norma or children in the hospital. Must be somewhere talking to doctors. Later I was taken to corner stone social worker’s office and was asked about my wellbeing. I was made aware that I was suffering from depression, in India if any one showed such symptoms; He was called mental. When depression reaches its extreme, one heads for suicide. Depression is caused by the loss of the possession you love the most. I had never had love for the material. For me it was my children and my wife. I was told that the symptoms of depression are:

Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

Fatigue and decreased energy

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness Feelings of hopelessness and

Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable,

Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment

Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings

Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

I was informed that they will be sending me to a psychiatric facility for evaluation.

MENTAL HOSPITAL

Later on I was told that Norma had signed the petition for my psychiatric evaluation. Therefore I was driven by college student to the Kent oaks psychiatric unit. I was allotted Room 711. I thought of 711 convent chain of stores open 24 hours. We could only open the door from inside but we could not lock from inside. Once we leave the room, it will shut and had to be opened with the key. The key is with front desk nurse. I went to sleep with all thoughts and disturbances in my mind. I slept few hours and got up at 3:30 AM. Got some coffee and started watching TV in the lounge. I noticed I was not alone, there were other patients sitting around, I looked at their faces and assumed that all of them might have done something or the other. Two of them had their head straight and would turn with the neck. Rest looked ok.

In the morning I was told that my doctor is Munir. He was originally from Pakistan. I was stunned. I had just escaped Pakistanis from Oman and here I was going to be treated by a Pakistani. In Oman Army had recruited Pakistani ex-servicemen and later on from India. By the time we went, they were already in senior positions. Al of Indian batch went through quite tough times. It was open hate relationship. Later on due to my electronic knowledge, I was I was changed to Instrument tech. and posted in the deputy PMs Office to take care or electronic. I was skeptical about him. I thought he may just give me a pill and I’ll really turn into a certified mental. I told the staff that I don’t want to be treated by Dr. Munir and luckily they accepted my request and changed my doctor, I was then given two options. 1st was to take volunteer admission and 2nd was to take evaluation and then admission if necessary.

After few hours of sleep I was able to think and make a decision. I wasn’t sure whether the decision will be right or wrong but when I saw those patients around me, I was in much better shape. May be I was in the early stage of psychiatric breakdown. I knew for sure that I do have depression due to the environment created around me. All I needed was mental rest. I stayed calm and spoke only what was necessary. I understood no one can help me change the situation. They can only treat the side effects caused by the situation. My volunteer admission can provide satisfaction to the people living around. I will be discharged when I am 100% Recovered. At least I will not be bullied by being called mental. So I decided to take volunteer admission considering it will also give me time to think without any interference. I will be away for some time from the ringmaster. I was placed under anti-depressant Zoloft. Facility was nice, clean and Air-conditioned with front load washer and dryer. Coffee was prepared on demand. Food was good and was served on time. It also had some indoor recreation with a few games. In other words, it was like a hotel with few stars but with no permission to leave the premises. Main door was locked and only front desk can open for visitors or for their use. I had plenty of time to think and hear stories from other patients.

There was a pay phone inside which enabled patients to call out. After 2 days I called home and had a formal conversation. Life was going on well. There was also a popcorn machine making small cracker sound. Life was indulged in popcorn and TVs. I met one an interesting person; he had a simple electronic phone dialer from Radio Shack which was modified by replacing crystal Dialer produced the touch tone sound of numeric keyboard. Computer in the phone recognized the sounds and acted as the coins are dropped.. His dialer would generate the sound of a quarter drop in the payphone. So the payphone generated time for one quarter. He was volunteered for everyone to make phone calls from his coin drop sound of dialer. He was also there for depression.

My phone conversations were going well. Most often jerry was the visitor in the name of helping my needy family. She also told me he took them to his house. He has a nice house and our children got along with his son very well. Next time I called up at 9:30 P.M and jerry picked up the phone. I thought I dialed the wrong number. I hung up and called again. But it was him again. I asked who he was. He said jerry. I said “what are you doing there”. He gave the phone to Norma and she said he is so nice; he is helping us in every way. I was pronounced fully recovered in one week and was to be discharged. I called and told Norma about my discharge. Next morning she came with her mentor to pick me up. I was little hopeful about her attitude after what had happened in the past 10 days oblivious of what was being cooked at my back to keep me away from home

HOMELESS SHELTER (Ran Basera)

She was in no mood to take me home. I asked her, “Where are we going”. She said, “we have to stop somewhere on the way.” After completion of all the formalities, we left the hospital and after a few miles, we stopped at “Guiding light mission

It was a rehabilitation center, shelter for homeless and helped people released from jail in getting back to workforce after completion of sentence. I was taken inside by her mentor Malinda and was introduced to the director. He came along with us and took us to one of the filthy rooms and looking at me he said, “This is your room.” I didn’t say anything and kept quiet. When we came out I asked Norma what was going on and what was she doing. And she replied, “We were out of touch with you being out for so many days. You stay here; we will communicate with you and come to some kind of reconciliation.” I was surprised what kind of convincing she did to collage to find homeless shelter to live with bums. I didn’t quite understand her point of view but had no other choice. I had to go along her way instead of picking up an argument and forcing myself. Even after having a home, I was moving from one place to the other and now homeless shelter? It was altogether very disturbing. I didn’t understand how she managed to convince people and NGOs agencies to put me through for all this. She was the decision maker; I had nothing to say in this matter. I was walking on very thin rope. My little aggressiveness could land me in the jail. Possibly collage didn’t want to get involved in any kind of mess so they did whatever she wanted. I spoke to Paul Hostetter on phone from the shelter and tried to understand what her point of view was by doing this to me. He told me, “Satish, your case is irreconcilable. You know when you were inhaling exhaust; I went to her and told her you were dying and asked her to come out. She asked me to leave and she said (I don’t want him & let him die). As per facts it will be advisable for you to file for a divorce.” Life in Guiding light mission was interesting around all homeless and bums. Someone begging for cigarettes, while other asking for a quarter. Every morning a queue was formed to take the breakfast at the soup kitchen. There was no lunch cause everyone was made to go out to find something to do. A truck used to show up in the morning to take people to pick cherry, blueberry or apples fields. They use to drive inmates to the fields and gave them a bucket or basket to collect. Incentive was $1 for a basket or a bucket. I went there and made $10.

There were some un-functional T.V sets at the center. I offered to repair them. One of the TVs I repaired, could be heard but no picture? Since its picture tube was burnt. Director suggested that it can be used for blind room’s TV. I moved it to the room where all blind residents socialized.

One day few social workers came and conducted free TB test. My result was positive. Therefore they gave me some medication. I had reaction to it. They told me to discontinue and asked if I was vaccinated for TB in my childhood. I showed the vaccination marks. Their answer was it must be antibodies somehow they sent another sample to another lab and found that it was antibodies.

Life was altogether different from the mental hospital. I used to call home every morning from the pay phone to ask about her schedule. If I was told to come home, I used to go home. They were still living in the college campus. I was out and she was continuing like a lame duck. After the day has passed, I had to go back to the mission before 9P.M. Otherwise the door will be locked and I will have to spend the night in the car. I insisted her to learn driving. Her answer was, “once I am able to drive, I would be gone”. She was conscious about her health. There were many health clubs around. One day we visited one of them. I looked around and noticed it had all sorts of equipment. We consulted the office and inquired about rates. Rates were fair for a person who has a job and is earning a decent salary. Just for $600 one year contract, you can enjoy the health club facilities. I was not interested because getting established was my first priority. I came out but she stayed back. She came out smiling after half an hour. She said she has signed up for one year contract in four installments of $150 each. She had already paid $150 and was a member now. I got upset and explained her about our financial reserves draining out and having no source of income yet. Besides she had no source of commuting from home to the club. It was 5 miles from the college. Also we did have normal gym in the college. Somehow she agreed to get her membership cancelled. We went to the health club next day and made a request for cancellation. It was a tough nut to crack. They said they had already financed our membership through financing institution. They wanted us to pay the remaining installments else they will hire a bill collector. I pleaded and explained our situation. We were the international students and were jobless. We neither had the assets nor the jobs to pay them. After about an hour of convincing He understood it will be hard even for the bill collector to collect the bills. They agreed to cancel the membership but refused to pay back $150. We had to bear this loss. Instead of wasting time on these worthless activities why can’t we do something sensible to get some kind of paying job?

One day I went from shelter to apartment and she told me to drive to Salvation Army’s co-operate office. I guess she was trying to find a job. She made me to sit in the lounge she went to one room. Little while later she came back and told me “in country to get maximum benefits, we both should curse and fight with each other in front of public and internally we should be one.” I totally disagreed to her suggestion. She said “Now see she was preparing a grocery store voucher for her”. She went in again and showed me a voucher of $200 redeemable at local grocery store. Now I understood how she was qualified for free groceries due to

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Husband ran away.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Have two teenage children.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Husband is mental or just came out from mental hospital

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Husband is abusive and had assaultive to family

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Being on student visa, she does not have work permission to work be immigration.

She also told me that if her husband is charged with domestic assault, Social services will get her and children on welfare check which $400 is for each. i.e. $1200 a month. Also wife and children are eligible to get the green card. I did not quite understand as what she meant. Was she talking her mind loud? I did not care because I am not going to abuse. Ever since her behavior changed to unfriendly and argumentative. Once she broke my figure too.

Also “salvation army is offering you a job at retail stores. Go tomorrow and see Mr. Xyz for Interview.” I went and was accepted as electronic technician to repair donated gazettes. I had no time to join and was occupied in her affairs.

ARRIVAL OF LORAIN

Lorain was her colleague from Oman and was working as a staff nurse in Khoula Hospital. She had visited us before we left Oman. She had been calling her time to time to find out about possibility of settling down in the U.S. Norma’s replies were moreover positive from this side. She was convinced that life was like green pasture over here. Everything was possible to establish. Therefore, Lorain decided to come down for a visit and venture out the possibilities herself. According to Norma, the grass was much greener this side of the world. It was for her and not for long. She made a plan to rob Lorain and extract as much as $10,000. She informed me about her visit. I was still in the shelter. Now she needed me again. We went to the airport to receive her. She had come with a return ticket. While driving she explained it was very easy to get visa. Councilor had asked her if she was going to visit Satish, she had said yes and her visa was stamped immediately. This was her greatest mistake not aware of Norma was looking forward to make use any statement for her benefit. . I am not aware of what they spoke behind closed doors or at night as I had to return to homeless shelter before 9PM. Now Norma started capitalizing on her visa being granted because of her husband. Within two days I observed that Lorain was not interested to do whatever she was being told by Norma. She decided to go back. She made some phone calls and decided to visit her relatives in Arlington Texas and to Oman thereafter. She was ready to book the flight tickets but I. Norma did not agree to let her go alone via flight. She said, “you cannot go anywhere in the U.S alone. You got visa to visit us and we are the ones responsible till you board your flight to back home. Otherwise we will be in trouble.” I tried to explain her to let her go and asked her to get down to our business but she hushed me and said, “Let me manage. This is my project. Don’t interfere”. Now, I was in no position to pick up an argument with her on this issue as there already had been many issues to pick an argument on. I was sure that ultimately I will be making fool of myself and a public show. She had lost her mind for extracting money from her and wanted to drag me on with her.

She was up to making fast money by capitalizing her friend’s visit to U.S. She planned to start a nurse’s recruitment agency, as the one she has today-http://www.amron.org/. Site taken down after reading this. She was the boss and I was made-up to follow her no matter I like it or not. First Norma insisted her to leave her passport with her and make a trip to Texas but she did not want to leave her passport with her. After much persuasions and discussions finally it was decided by Norma that we will drive Lauren to Texas to make her visit her relatives; will board her in flight back to Oman either from Texas or bring her back to Grand Rapids to get return flight to Oman. All traveling expenses would be covered by Lorain. Imagine the hardship on children and me to drive 1100 miles in second hand extended van without A/C and return back for no benefit. Her plan was to stop Lorain from going back without meeting her monetary demands. I kept myself out of the picture and was least interested in this type of [+ con behavior+] and shabby deal.

TRIP TO TEXAS

I was called from the homeless shelter to drive the van to Texas. Now I was a professional driver taking party of 4 to Texas. It was a Ford’s extended van used by a school in the past. We removed back seats made the place for them to sleep while I drive 24 hours. Lorain too had no choice but to follow her instructions. She was like hypnotized or under the influence of black mail.. Children knew nothing of what was going on. They were happy that they were going for a trip and didn’t understand what were we going for? It made no sense to me. I knew being [+ rookie+] in con business one cannot make fast bucks in this manner unless you are an experienced con.

While driving little while I noticed van showed low oil light so I checked the dip stick. Oil was low. Reason: oil was leaking out from the dip stick. We took it to a mechanic but he could not tell me the reason. Ultimately, I had to stock up the oil and keep pouring in after every 100 miles. Everyone had fun while I slept and everyone slept while I drove. Somehow, we made it to Texas in 3 days.

We were received with a warm welcome by her relatives. They were a couple with two small kids. Lorain’s cousin was here on work visa through nursing sponsorship. Her husband Krishnan was on dependent visa and had no work authorization. Therefore, he was babysitting and cooking doing housework at the same time his wife was working overtime every day to cover the bills. She had qualified CGFNS to get herself sponsored. They were working through an attorney to get his work permission. On the whole, it was a normal struggling family looking forward for a better future together. They asked me if I could repair their car. I was happy that I can payback for their hospitality. I did what was necessary. First day went by in excitement and a lot of conversations. I was dead tired and had to rest for a few hours. An apartment which was meant for one family of two was now crowded with 5 extra members. He had to cook for 5 extra members Next day, I suggested Norma to leave but she insisted to stay for few more days till she settles the matter with Lorain. I disconnected myself from her affair and was out of the house looking at the surroundings. When I went back, I saw she was sitting and demanding hospitality from him. He told her to” help herself on whatever was available”. She demanded saying “we were their guests and it was their duty to provide for us”. She also claimed of Lorain being able to come here because of us and further demanded that “it’s our responsibility to see her leave the country. We would be here till the time we took her to the airport and saw her leave the country”. It was an annoying statement for them. He said, “Lorain is here with us now and we will take care of her. She is our responsibility”. But no, Norma had made up her mind for benefitting herself from the Lorain’s visa situation. If not gently, she would scream and yell as usual to extract the way she did with me and got whatever she wanted. Everyone is not satish in this world. It was only me that her tactics used to work on because I wanted to maintain peace. I gave up on her screaming and yelling. Now, here she demanded the compensation. And argument went heated; in the heat of arguments finally she came down to demand the payment for our time spent and the travel expense to Grand Rapids as agreed by Lauran before start of journey. When I saw the situation is getting ugly, I intervened and told Norma that “we should leave and she should not cause commotion.” On this he became hostile and said in loud voice “if you need money go and lift your skirt on the road”. I felt extremely shameful. I tried to bring her out but she was screaming at me saying, “damned! He is insulting your wife and you cannot fight back what kind of husband you are?” I had to shout back at her and I told her, “It’s enough”. Then she went on screaming at me and started to walk out. Then Krishnan said, “I respect this man. From the time he was here all he had been doing was trying to help us wherever and whenever we needed. And you sat here like a boss demanded services and money.” It was enough to raise her anger. She started to blame me for her insults so that I can prove myself a good guy. I told her that the “bottom line was that we need to leave and this can be discussed later on”.

Our financial situation was also alarming. We had a drive of 1100 miles ahead of us with two children to manage. Her Grand Rapids experience paid off. She got to the phone and called “first call for help” toll free number. She had learnt that in Grand Rapids while I was in NJ. They connect you with the local helpful agencies and churches that help out people in emergency. Someone showed up at the spot where we were within an hour. They offered to fill the gas tank and provide some canned food for journey. Now our tank was full and we had some canned food. Gas was enough for 200 miles. We have to worry for another 900 miles.

RETURN TO GRAND RAPIDS

On the way to Grand Rapids we saw Tulsa in Oklahoma State. Now she remembered we had heard of in India and team about Oral Roberts University. She wanted to visit and see the possibility to get admission. RBC was already tired of us and wanted us to be out decently. As per our situation, we are already depending on Frist Call for Help for our food and gas and here she wants to move to Oklahoma State. She is woman of great faith; I had no choice but to go along. We saw the Admissions director and he explained the initial expenses to join were around $3000 plus your apt your own expense. On asking about sponsorship, he looked at us strangely and said, “It’s your own arrangement, we got nothing to do with that”. She took the” Admissions Packet” and we left.

She called first call for help again and we had tank full and food. On the way we used our reserved money to top up the tank and We somehow managed to reach Grand Rapids. We were gone for more than a week. College was not happy about the whole show which we as a family had been demonstrating. I was in a homeless shelter and she in the campus quarters having visitor, then we disappeared for more than week, without paying dues to the college. Also Paul did not like Norma and she did not like Paul to interfere in our family matters. They could have taken a legal action on our behavior but they called her to the office and gave her a one week notice with $5000 bill to pay. They were gentle enough by not perusing the collection. I had left college before admission formalities were completed. But they let me attend classes and take part in quire as guest.

I went back to the shelter and my room was allotted to someone else. I was told to sleep in the common dormitory meant for emergency night sleepers. Next day, when I called up home in the morning as usual to get instruction for the day, she made me aware of the situation. We had no money left to rent an apartment. Now what? She suggested she would sell off her gold but we knew that no one buys 22 carats gold in Grand Rapids. Nearest town was Chicago for the same. My hopes were raised again wondering that when hardship comes, family sticks together for support. Same time I was also homeless from the homeless shelter. It was the shelter’s rule for residents, one can be absent up to 3 days with prior permission. I had been gone for a week without permission. Therefore I lost my room. They were aware of what I was going through with her. By now we were nothing but a nuisance. In USA people came forward to help a family to survive, but here, she has taken everything for granted and started to show her true colors. Soon, we went to Chicago and disposed the gold for $900. We were advised by the people in Texas that we can file an asylum which to delay our deportation before we get one. Same time we can also get work permit to start work and by the time she can pass the NCLEX-RN at state level exam and get ourselves sponsored. Asylum office was in Chicago too. We visited immigration asylum office and filed the application on the religious and interracial marriage grounds. In her asylum application she mentioned “I am tired of his relatives and am on the verge of divorce”. On the way back we noticed there were soda cans scattered everywhere. In Michigan on return of each can, you get 10 cents. We collected 1500 cans and in Chicago and sold them in Grand Rapids for $150. On our way back she became very romantic. Be now we were tired therefore we rented a room in a hotel for $35 we were like another honeymoon.

I saw an opening at a security agency. I went and got hired for minimum wages of $4.25 an hour. They never bothered to ask work permit. All they needed was social security card and Driver’s license as ID. Mine and her social security cards were clean with no remarks but children’s cards had “not permitted to work”. Later on I found our social security cards had authorization to work for 20 hrs. a week. She wanted to maintain her student status and went to join the community college. Although it was not necessary since no one was coming after us after filing asylum. We would get date of interview and will be given temporary work permit. We were able to work because we had our identification and social security numbers.

We were under accommodation vacation notice. Now she was as close as possible kissing and licking. We started packing up our belongings. Van was full of Garage sales materials. She went as usual to the Salvation Army for help. She got a 10 days emergency hotel stay voucher in a lower class hotel worth $250 and grocery voucher.

APARTMENT

While the driving towards hotel and at the same time search for an apartment driving down the Richmond Street towards, I noticed a sign- “apartment for rent”, we called the specified phone number from pay phone. Land lord was not very far away, so he came right away in 15 minutes and showed us the place. Rent was $400 a month. We paid the deposit and moved our belongings with 2 cars and 2 vans.

 

 

She had something else in mind so she wanted to maintain her status. There was also an opening in a college book store. I applied and got a second job. $4.25 per hour. It was still not enough to run the house. She also got a part time job in the college. I had insisted her again and again to pass NCLEX-RN and get sponsored. Her reply was “I am not interested to sponsor you and spending my life with you. Being from a non-English background, you don’t have future here.” I was very disappointed. There was no way any one could talk to her about family. Collage tried but gave up looking at her nuisances. I was patient enough to give it a little more time. I wanted to give another chance since we will be living in the same apartment. I will be able to get some work and will be needed all the time. I suggested her to get a driving license and got her learning license made

I parked the vehicles in the parking lot and believed we should start getting settled. And on the other hand, she wanted all of us to live in the hotel for 10 days. I had just started a security job with a security company. I had to go to work for morning shift of 6A.M to 2P.M and had to go to the Community College book store from 3P.M to 7P.M. I suggested her not to use the voucher and return it back. We have the house and we should get settled. We also have 2 teenaged children to take care. But no, she must make use of the free stuff first. She insisted to go and stay in the hotel for 10 days in one small room all 4 of us with not kitchenette facility. Depending of vending machines for sandwich.

We went and booked a room by handing over payment voucher from Salvation Army. She used to get special satisfaction by enjoying free stuff. It was a small twin-bed self-contained room with attached shower. It hardly had any space to move around and four of us were living in it. There was no kitchenette. There was a vending machine and no coffee. One had to buy everything from the market. There was no laundry as well. Life was so difficult for me after I returned from work. No proper meals rest, was short of cash and had a number of more problems to deal with. After 1 day I suggested that we should go back to our 2bedroom apartment. But no she was so much glued up to the idea of getting free benefits that even if it makes life difficult; she must make use of the free stuff. She had never seen generous agencies before in her life. It was as if she did not have to work and survive all her life with free handouts. Or maybe she just wanted to do the opposite to what I was suggesting. Only she can explain the reason of putting me through so much tough times. I could hardly keep up in my both jobs. She had no job and had nowhere to go. Children were on vacations. I don’t know what 3 of them did all day locked up in one small room. I was so relieved when the 10 days got over.

Since I had two jobs, I was trying to catch up with bills. When I came home she didn’t want me to sleep with her, I noticed she would not let me touch her. She sparked like she was electrocuted. Next morning I was told by her that my home coming causes disturbance to everyone. Therefore I should sleep in the van downstairs and I may come up in the morning for using rest room, shower and for changing clothes. I was so frustrated with her that I had little discussion about but she was not willing to understand. I accepted the suggestion halfheartedly. I had to manage somehow. It was the question of my children and family. I was in a big confusion as what she wants from me and what was going on in her life. I had never doubted her faithfulness. When I returned the next night, I noticed there was a bed in the van and a bottle of water. I had to go to a corner store and get something to eat. In the morning I went to the apartment; took a shower and got ready to go to work. I had two pairs of shoes, one was old and the other was new. Old shoes were Pointed Shoes and the new ones were normal with wide toe so that the toes can be moved. I took the new shoes out and as I was about to wear, she came and grabbed it from my hands and asked me to wear the old shoes and not those. I tried to explain that I am on my toes for 16 hours and the old shoes hurt my toes. She refused to understand. This was not something new for me. Her word was the final one. No ifs or buts. I was nothing but a slave worker. I realized that this was going too far of a punishment. Therefore, being tired of iron fist control, I decided to move out.

Moved out

I decided to quit. I told her to keep the new and the old shoes, keep the house and the van and I am not returning tonight. I went and bought a pair of comfortable shoes for work from thrift shop and slept at the Rest Area. Next day I got my paycheck and was on lookout for a single room. I found one for $50 a week at Seward St. Soon I changed my job to production line as labor to unload trailers later helper to press operator in Davidson plyforms and was getting financially relaxed. Across the street 616 veto, one bedroom house was available and I moved in. By now I had a better job in Davidson Ply forms of unloading the 18 wheeler semi tailor trucks. It was a nice exercising job. It kept me healthy and maintained my athletic physique. I worked 12 hours a day with 4 hours of overtime for 6 days a week. I hardly had time to think or visit her. I did not hear from her for quite some time. She must be busy working out her goal of life to be rich overnight. How she managed her expenses? No comments or suggestions. While living separately, I sometimes tried to establish contacts with her. Each time I called, her reply was to leave everything aside just give her the money. I use to call Paul time to time and he felt my pain. One day he invited me to his house over lunch. We had a lot of discussions and his advice again and again was to file for a divorce. He was of the view that she was a prejudice, and had her own agendas. She was only using me till the time she meets her goal. “What is her goal”, I questioned Paul. He answered, “She is gold digger and you do not meet her expectations.”

FIRST DIVORCE

I felt it was high time I should find my own way. I remembered I had consulted one attorney while I was at guiding light mission; he was a legal counselor for homeless residents. I called him and took an appointment. I explained him the situation and asked him to file for a divorce. According to Paul Hostetter- my adviser, the differences were irreconcilable. He wrote the reason of divorce:

It was filed signed on 12th October 1992. She was served with the divorce summons in February 1993 I received a letter from the attorney saying there will be a waiting period of six months for divorce with children for the reason that there may be a possibility of reconciliation. Usually people realize that within six months that whether divorce is a necessity.

One day, I saw my son in the street. I invited him to my house. He came in and expressed his desire to live with me. I gave him a spare key to my house and told him to come whenever he wanted to. So far I have had a complete disconnect with children. I was occupied by my own problems and am not sure what information was given to them by their mother. So far I had been an operating on safe mode. Only necessary activities for my defense were conducted. I renewed my hobby for electronic tech back to life. I found TV sets in the streets, brought them home, repaired them and sold them. Sometimes I had to spend hours thinking and studying circuit diagrams. This took my mind away from the problems created around me. I always had 10 to 12 T.V sets at a time at home, some repaired and some for parts. I made some friends in the neighborhood. One of theirs daughter used to live about 5 miles away whose son and daughter went to the same school as my children. I often spent evenings with them playing poker and having dinner. Of course I told them about the abusive dominating relationship I had been going through. I had not heard from Norma for quite some time. I guessed she has found the one she was looking for.

When my son went back home, he told his mother about my new home. She took the keys from him and next day I see her in my house. I was not rude to her but told her that I don’t appreciate her coming here. I assume that Andrew must have told her about my company. This present job was only temporary assignment. One day I was told that my assignment was over and I can pick up my paycheck tomorrow. I was driving home and saw Gator City Cab co. I went in to enquire the procedure to drive. All I needed was a valid driver’s license, social security number and $40 to pay for cab rent. End of day I had to top up the gas and take balance money home. Therefore I had switched to taxi driving and was having more time for myself and could choose my working hours. I worked at nights so that I can attend attorney meetings etc. in the day time. My income also went up substantially. She had crocodile tears expressed the desire to continue with me. I told her that now that the divorce has been filed and you have to speak to my attorney. She left and later called me. I simply said I am not interested to talk and hung up. She called over and over again. In those days there were no caller IDs. I moved the receiver off the cradle so now had to miss my business calls also. She showed up again and started cleaning house and arranging material. When she went to the next room she discovered the color TV sets. According to her calculations in Indian Rupees, they were of great value. Thereafter she often asked me for money and I gave her because my children were with her. I did not want children to be on streets due to her soupiness and lack of finances. One evening I got a call, she said her car had been broken down in shopping plaza and children are with her. I went and checked its electronic ignition was faulty. I bought the part from the same plaza, fixed it and let her go. Gradually, her visitations became more frequent.

She kept insisting me to pay for her rent, utilities, insurance, and gas expenses. She managed groceries from handouts. I was working but my income was enough to manage one house but not enough to manage two households. It would have been different if a woman was staying with me. I was sincerely not interested in divorce and handouts. I was not wealthy but had self-respect.

One day during Christmas I visited her and children. She showed me whole small room full of new toys children got gift from Salvation Army. She started counting the prices and it came to around $1000. It’s about $500 toys for each child. She showed me other things as house furniture and kitchen gazettes. They were given to her free by Salvation Army. She must have destroyed my reputation real bad. She is well to do expect cash.

I could see the future of children getting destroyed. They were in confusion as what the hell on earth was going on. She wanted to move in with me. Meanwhile I came to know that she had an eviction notice from the landlord with a demand of about $1500 back bills. I was always concerned about children. I went to the apartment and noticed that the basement key was broken in the lock and doors were not airtight. I took pictures and spoke to her attorney from the legal aid. I did not quite agree to his suggestions and requested judge to speak on her behalf. Being her husband, judge permitted me. Proving the photographic evidence of key being broken in the lock for a month and doors not weather sealed, he ordered to cut the landlord’s demands and settled at a nominal amount. I paid and got her released from the lawsuit. She was evicted from Richmond Apt due to nonpayment of rent.

Divorce Called Off

When she moved in, she had a lot of furniture, kitchen material and other household things. She stored all her possessions collected from handouts and Salvation Army in a rented garage paying $50 a month that too was paid by me. It looked like either she did not trust me or she had some mysterious plan. She wanted to keep her belongings away from house. She was not open to me like other wives generally are. She had lots of secrets. One day she went out and bought a pager. I questioned her, “Why do you need pager? Neither you are working nor you have a business?” She replied back saying, “this pager is given to me for free by someone, and I have to sell 4 pagers in return.” She never offered me to help her by buying one for her 4 pagers commitment. Later on I saw a cash receipt of $215 for pager and remembered she had taken $250 from me for books. Every day she would come home with a new story about buying house and it would be only possible if the divorce was called off. Or college fee can be waived if the divorce was called off. She found an opportunity for a couple to work for some organization. Their condition was that the divorce should be called off. Her only aim of conversation was to call off the divorce. Now when I look back, I realize there were so many red flags but I never suspected. I had been busy working all night and resting in the day. I had no one to consult with to get to the bottom of her plan. I had so much of confidence and faith in her. I was not interested in her materials; my priority was to bring the family together. A popular quote comes to my mind I once heard, “known devil is better than an unknown angel”. I hoped that may be one day she will realize the fact of my patience and will make a U turn. Now that we were living together I had opportunity to spend time with kids and we had time to go out to places. Not very long after the family shifted to my place, she started to complain, “I feel as if am living like a mistress. The divorce is filed on one hand and here I am living with you on the other.” She started weeping and said “I have no value here. I am nobody, how can I call this my family. Did we come all the way from India to divorce and live like this? She said “I went to so many influential people with complains and requested them to pressurize and or convince you to call off the divorce. Their reply had been same that no one can call off the divorce but only the person who filed it.” I gave her the confidence and the assurance that I was not interested in divorce and I called the attorney the next day to call off the divorce. He wanted to see us both for paperwork. Next day I we both went to attorney’s office and requested to call the divorce off. Finally we had reconciled. We signed the petition on March 17th.1993

Life was not easy thereafter. It was like a storm after calm. She ignited fights on every small topic. One day our neighbor’s visitor had parked car in the street parking in front of our house as there was no other spot available. Parking is not reserved in street parking. By the time I came home, there was another spot got vacated? I parked and came in she started screaming at me about neighbor’s car saying “whose car is parked in the street. I want that car to be removed right now. I said someone must be visiting them and will go in an hour or so. But as per her Instructions, I must go and pick a fight with neighbors about their car parking in the street. On my refusal she blamed me that I was the one who had told neighbors to park their car there to make her upset and make her lose her temper. There are hundreds of examples of her unnecessary arguments. Whenever there was an argument, she had to be the winner. If not then there was cursing and blaming for my property in India and that my family would raise their demands because we were in the U.S. I started getting depressed again. I reckoned whether I have made another mistake. Was she real or playing games with me. Children could not understand anything. My son told me one day, “all I see is both of you fighting all the time.” On top of it all, when I used to get angry by her arguments; she would tell me to see the psychiatrist again for my mental situation. As if I was some kind of a certified mental case.

She asked me to take her along with me to work so that we may communicate more in private when there were no passengers. For that she needed to have a hacker’s license so that she may ride with me as a trainee driver. Next day we went and got her hacker’s license and then she was riding with me. Next day I came home in the afternoon and was told by her to pick up Ruth- my daughter from school. I went all around the school but could not find her. She called her mother from payphone and said why she had sent daddy to pick her up. She didn’t want her friends to know that her dad was a cab driver. Even my children felt ashamed of my hard work to earn their bread. they were given high dreams and were already flying in the air with the pride to be in USA.

One day I was at work and was given order to pick up from 89 Ionia. (89 Ionia is Legal Aid of Michigan) As I got there I saw Norma waiting in the building. By looking at cab she came out. I was wondering what she is doing here and why she did not bring her car. Why dispatch sent me? Yes her destination address is my home address. Dispatcher understood that she was my wife. I did not question and drove her home. Later on I came to know that was legal aid office and went for legal consultation. But about what? Divorce is called off. She did not take car because I was always in the street and would notice and question her about her visit.

One day in 1993 she took the car and parked at meter. She did not deposit a quarter in the meter. Hence a violation ticket was placed at windshield. She destroyed the ticket and did not tell me anything. I came to know from Paul Hostetter in 1996 that they had received a letter from Secretary of state regarding parking violation. I had not changed my address in the driver’s license. It was still RBC. I went and got the letter. Violation fine had become $89 from $5 with penalties and interest. This was final warning otherwise driver’s license was to be cancelled.

Norma went with me to work just for 2 or 3 days. She was not interested to communicate in private. Her eyes were only on the money I received from customers and was keeping count of it. Few months later I was told by a gas station attendant that she had told them, I use to solicit with passengers about her in exchange of money. And after 15 years I asked my son and he confirmed that she had told him too.

My brother called in this turmoil and asked my situation. I replied that everything was fine with me. He offered to send me some semiprecious stones and strings samples for trial. See if I can market them and make my living. She saw I was talking to my brother from India, she started nagging at me saying, now you are in US and they will demand money from you. My brother was and is well to do. He had offered to send money to me if I needed. I explained her that he called and asked if I need samples of semiprecious stones. Few days later when parcel arrived, she took hold of it.

Judge signed the divorce withdrawal letter on March 23rd 1993. I got it on 27th march 1993 from my attorney saying, “Satish Chander Arora, being duly sworn, deposes and says that he and Norma Elizabeth Arora have reconciled, and that the suit for divorce filed herein is no longer necessary.

WHEREFORE, YOUR PETITIONER PRAYS that an Order be entered dismissing said cause in accordance with the Petition.”

Betrayal

I use to work long hours during weekends at nights. I was working till late hours on March 28th I came home at 5:30 A.M the next day. It was Sunday. When I went to the kitchen to find something to eat, all I could see was the sink full of dishes and no food anywhere. I had been working all night to feed my family and there they were all fast asleep. Any way I went to a pizza shop located close by. Being Saturday It was open all night on the weekends. I got myself a pizza to eat. After having my pizza, I went to sleep at about 6:30 AM. I was dragged out of bed by her at 8:30 A.M, asking me to get up to go to church. I was not in a mood to talk, was very tired, sleepy and irritated. I asked kids that why there was no food left for me. She was not concerned of what was happening to me. Instead she demanded money. I said “I gave you $400 yesterday”, she said she paid college fee. But how could she pay fee on Saturday and also they don’t accept cash but only checks.” She had no paycheck. She was not working but going to college to maintain her [+ F1 status+]. She was at home whole day watching T.V or out having fun and food. She wasn’t concerned that I will be coming hungry after 13 long hours of work. She knew how much money I was making since she had accompanied me to work after getting her license

She had to take all the money from me and put it somewhere else as security. She would estimate my earnings and demand more than that every day. I had given money on several occasions. I said, “Since I am earning I would like to send $100 to my mother as gift.”

Same day On March 28th 1993 I got a phone call from my brother in India; “I had spoken to him few days before she moved in my house. “About the possibilities of importing gemstones to start a business. I had made it clear to him that I do not have capital. He was willing to send on consignment basis. I told him to give phone to my mother. While I was talking to my mother she came and took phone from me. She told my mother “Satish is having relations with many women” I took phone from her and was explaining the situation while she was nagging and cursing behind me. I told her the reason for his call was to find out whether I have received the samples or not. While we were still talking, mailman knocked the door and handed over the package to me. I told her see the package is here. She yelled, “He better.” She kept the sample shipment with her and 15 years later she tried to get their appraisal. Following was her thread on a page concerning diamonds and stones. At the sight mine cut diamond Post#1 02-23-08 , 09:26 “AM [+ LOOKING FOR+] ANYONE WITH APPRAISAL QUALIFICATIONS TO APPRAISE ABOUT 19 VARIOUS SIZED 'OLD MINERS'. ALSO NEED GUIDANCE TO SEPARATE OR NOT TO SEPARATE THE STONES FROM THEIR MULTIPLE SETTINGS TO SOLITAIRES.PLEASE CONTACT ON THIS SITE OR NEABENGMAIL.COM. THANKS

After the phone call I was trying to put some sense to her but she was cursing and yelling. I said, “I don’t want you to interfere between me and my family relations. I had left my family soon after I married you. I never interfered in your family affairs even though they have done unspeakable things against me. That’s why I am not interested to visit but have never stopped you”. She brought the termination of divorce letter from attorney put it in front of my face and said, “Now the divorce is called off and now I will show you my real face.” I was shocked as if the earth moved under my feet. I asked, “Is this your real face?” and she said, “Yes” and I slapped her face. I was very upset. She started screaming as someone is going to murder her. My son came in and took position of boxing at me. I looked at him and walked out. She took the phone, called the emergency and said “Satish assaulted me”. I went outside and was waiting for the police to show up. I saw a police car pulling in. I stood up and told police officer “you are looking for me. The police officer said “we know you, you have helped us on several occasions “Being a Taxi Driver I knew both good and bad people. I use to work at nights and if there is a chase and am around, I would give information as which side fugitive is running. I spoke to the officer and explained him that because I was upset I slapped her. He went inside and spoke to her and asked whether she wanted to press the charges? Her reply was “yes” and I was immediately taken into custody. While cuffing my hands police told me “usually we cuff hands on the back, but since we know you are a gentle man, we will cuff your hands in front. It is less uncomfortable”. They were told tomorrow morning come down to police station for investigation. She went next day and filed following complaint: Page 1, Page 2, page3, Page 4

Her complaints were mostly about my family and material. It even included me being illegal and working to support them. It was moreover a way to deport me from the country as she had suggested from time to time go back to India. We had just reconciled and the divorce was dismissed a day before. Then it stuck me that her calling off the divorce was to gain legal entry to my life and then grind me till I get deported. She had big plans for herself but was not able to meet her goals in order to keep her respect in India and here in the church. It was a good plan to become rich but her plan was not carefully plotted.

She knew how much money I was making since she had accompanied me to work after getting her license just to check my earnings. She had an idea about my gross earnings and so she stated in the police complaint, $75 – $100. According to her, Indian rupee exchange rate Rs. 50 per U.S dollar so she calculated $75 × 50 = 3750 to 100×50= 5000 INR a day. And then, 5000×30days=Rs 150,000 per month of earnings. According to Indian Standards it was a lot of money at that time. She had no idea about US dollar. She never earned or spent on house. Living on handouts by walking over my image was her way of life.

Yes I was going mental and was being driven crazy. There is a limit to patience. When she got me admitted to the psychiatric facility, she had another idea to escape assault charges she tried to convince me to behave mental. From her past experience with me, she had so much of confidence that I will do it no matter what she asks me to.

Released on PR (personnel recognition) Bond

I spent the night in the lockup and next morning, March 29th I was released on no contact bond. I wanted to get back to work, I walked home to get my cab license in my work bag, to go to work and realized that my cab hecker license was missing. She had taken the cab license with her so that I cannot go to work. I picked up my car since I had the car keys and drove to GRCC cafeteria to see the kids are there and they can get me the License at the same time to discuss the troubles which I foresaw we were going to face in the near future. I saw Andrew and tried to call him out but by the time I could reach, she had already called the police. Police asked me for my identification and I found that my ID card was missing. I had a sultanate of Oman’s ID which they considered and since I was not trying to contact her but children, they let me go. I went to the police station and demanded my ID card. Meanwhile, they had already received warrant from Probate court on the grounds of her petition from Norma for my hospitalization to the psychiatric facility describing “Satish physically assaulted me last evening because he did not want me to interfere with his family. He had stated, if you don’t stop talking I am going to cut your tongue. He doesn’t want me to talk to him about taking medicine.”

I was under no medicine! They did not check my medical records to confirm what medicine was I under. Probate court issued a warrant to evaluate me in Kent Oaks psychiatric facility. Meanwhile, she had also called the police and complained that I have taken the car. They asked who owns the car ? And she said “he”. Police replied to her that we cannot arrest him for driving his own car. Now first thing she had to do was to get the car transferred in her name. I parked my car front of the police station when I went in to enquire about my ID. She picked up my car with duplicate key and drove off. Then She got its steering locked with club steering lock.

I was arrested in the police station and sent to Kent Oaks (Kent Oaks is psychiatric hospital) psychiatric facility, Norma called the hospital and wanted to speak to me. I refused to talk on the phone and then she called the nurse to inform me that my attorney says that she was not on no “contact bond” so she was permitted to call me but I still refused to talk to her. I was released from Kent Oaks after I was interview by 3 psychiatrists and was being asked different questions. Result was satisfactory and was released in 3 days. While I was in the mental hospital, my brother called again to check if I have received the samples. She picked up the phone and said “Satish is in jail and mental hospital. From now on he is going to be either in jail or in mental hospital. Better get him back to India.”

She was given information by her friends that if a husband is charged with assault, his wife and children become eligible to get welfare support and green card immediately.

(AA) who is the spouse of a citizen of the United States; (BB) who believed that he or she had married a citizen

of the United States and with whom a marriage ceremony was actually performed and who otherwise meets any applicable requirements under this chapter to establish the existence of and bona fides of a marriage, but whose marriage is not legitimate solely because of the bigamy of such citizen of the United States; or

(CC) who was a bona fide spouse of a United States citizen within the past 2 years and—

(aaa) whose spouse died within the past 2 years;

(bbb) whose spouse lost or renounced citizenship status within the past 2 years related to an incident of domestic violence; or

(ccc) who demonstrates a connection between the legal termination of the marriage within the past 2 years and battering or extreme cruelty by the United States citizen spouse;

This came up to $1200 for a woman with 2 children and besides that, other nonprofit agencies provide with material support and food. She knew her survival will be much easier without me than living with me. Soon after assault charges were put upon me, she went to the department of social services with a copy of my arrest record from the police station and applied for the state welfare. She was disqualified for the state welfare due to her alien status of student visa. In order to qualify she had to be US Resident or citizen. This information was given to me by department of social service when they called me to verify my hospital bills can be covered by them or not. She had already prepared grounds for free support for NGOs. Now more help started pouring in from NGOs due to her being a victim of domestic abuse, being without job along with children and then not being qualified for the government welfare program. That’s why she told counseling pastor from another church later on “when lord is providing right up to our door step, why to go out to work”

Now she was armed with a very influential weapon called restraining order and she had the power to get me arrested any time she wanted to. Internally she was feeling powerful. I was again like a goat ready to get slaughtered with a butcher’s knife hanging right over my head. I was back from the hospital and jail and was questioning myself that Where do I go from here? Somehow I went back home to consult. Till now I did not think she was my enemy. I had the keys, I opened the door and as she saw me, she was surprised. She said, ‘they left you so soon?’ We then had some serious conversations. I was worried that how this family is going to survive by disintegrating. She was thinking to use the weapon and keep me tamed. She got all the logistic support to manage her daily needs. But NGOs won’t give cash. For that she could extract from me.

Even though my refusal she was continually trying to contact me. Therefore I insisted her to drop the charges, to which she told me that she has been told that she cannot do that. Therefore, I left but she got me again on the road and said they could not advice properly. She wanted to go to legal aid attorney and find out some way. We went to the attorney at 89 Ionia; she went inside while I waited outside. Being unaware of what communication took place inside I had to believe whatever she said.

She came back and said that something can be worked out; she suggested that since matter was in progress, I could stay at home and she would not report my stay to the police. I suggested to go to Victim witness cell and find out if something can be worked out. Next morning we went to the court house and met Lenya Mitchell from victim witness. She was told in front of me that as per procedure she has to file a report to the police, only then she will be taken in front of judge under oath and then only they could arrest me. Linye also had said that we should not live together. I said we were husband and wife with children. But she said that we were violating court order we left.

Next day she went to the college and showed my arrest slip. They immediately offered her job in the library. She got the job only after she pressed assault charges on me and that’s why she was not willing to drop charges. She was afraid that if she droops charges she would lose her job in the college.

As per my belief, being new in US with 17 years of marriage with two teenage children, how family can survive. Next morning we went to the court house to either drop the charges or remove the restraining order. We met the co-coordinator and I asked him the possibility of removing no contact bond or dropping charges. Norma spoke and asked, “What if Satish leaves the country and go back to India?” Linye replied that in that case we will just burry the charges.

We came out and Norma said with surprising tone, “You know! I have been talking to detectives. By now so many people have spoken to me. I feel so great.”

They couldn’t arrest me unless she complains about me. I did not want to stay there and get used by her and later she complaints and get arrested for making a contact with her. I was serious about leaving the town and come on the day of hearing. And I had to leave the children too. I told her that I was going to leave the town and work somewhere else. But she wanted me to be around to extract money, and to betray me.

I had to go and see my attorney, she said she will also come and see him and find the possible way. Then she called my attorney and said she was not able to come. She told me how she will manage financially if I go to jail or some fine has to be paid. On April 26th I was to go for jury selection she insisted that I should sign the title of my car Chevy spectrum, she will keep it and if necessary she will sell it to raise funds for me. I was least bothered for material. I signed the title and came to court. My date was adjourned. On my return she told me she had spent $50 today, she made mistake. She got the car changed to her name. Now she has all my cars on her name. This is how she collected her securities. She did not realize without study income, how long you can survive on material.

Another Arrest

I went back and I noticed that I had to live under more submission. She had insisted to go back to India. Before I could make money, she is demanding. I was still the sole bread provider. My attorney instructed me not to give money. Money is contact. With no contact bond you can go to jail. I told her that I will have to move out and stop supporting. Her answer was “you can go and live anywhere. Just follow the court order. You don’t have to contact me. We have joint account, you keep putting money in the bank and I keep taking out.” I couldn’t quite understand as what she wants from life. What is her plan and what is the future. How to make her understand she is heading for destruction. I could imagine I was heading to a very dark future but I had not lost courage or hope. I was beginning to feel helpless occasionally. I called her mother thinking someone will put some sense in her. But in return I was asked by her mother “Satish are you having another woman?” she had already done her ground work. Here I’m in such deep mess and world around me believes that I’m depriving my family. It is actually other way around.

I kept on suggesting her that since she was a qualified nurse from India with experience in Oman, she must prepare for NCLEX-RN (National Council Licensure Examination for Practical Nurses). Councilor had advised her same. And then, she could get herself and her family sponsored. I was somehow managing the finances but was confident of taking care of them. But then she told me that she doesn’t want to spend rest of her life with a cab driver. I believe she had bigger dreams of having extravagant lifestyle. And she first needed to get rid of me by putting me far away back to India. Her closing statement to police in assault charges says: “. I really would like my husband and my family to be able to leave this Country and go to India where we can get help for him. He has in the past shown intentions to keep harassing me even he is divorced and married to an American woman to get citizenship. I have tolerated so much so that he would call off the divorce he had started at the end of last year”.

At home Endless demands with threat to get me arrested. I decided to quit. She instructed me to go alone to India and wait for the instruction from her. I then asked her, “If I go back to India, will it work out?” She replied “Yes it should work out.”

I said I rather leave this town and go somewhere else and come back on my court date. She said “if you leave, I will get you arrested. Here I had to become bold and realized that I had been feeding snake in my arms. I moved out.

Next day on May 24 1993 my car broke down and I had to repair it. Since I was put out of house with nothing, I had my tool box in the house. I was passing beside of veto St and saw Andrew on the road. I asked him to get me my tool box. He went and brought my toolbox. Next thing she took him to police station and witnessed that I took tool I saw Andrew walking out of police station. I did not go inside the house. I asked him to get me the tool box. She made him testify “I came in the house.” I asked Andrew “why you people are creating the trouble for me by signing the witness” his reply was “daddy you are getting what you deserve.” I said now you will get from me what you deserve” and I asked him another question “what did you do today did you prepared for my arrest or anything good” his reply was “it is none of your business to know what we do about you.”

I was sentenced 10 days Cass county jail. [++]

What was told to them to comply with her and treat me like trash? I knew it was my job. TAXI DRIVER. My appearance. I us to dress very shabby in those days. I was in trouble with law and no co-operation. Homeless cloth less, penny less with upset mind, I often forgot to remember to take care of myself. I was under immense pressure that I often noticed talking to my self-loud. I could see my son being destroyed, daughter had no vision. Why is she after me to leave the country? The only reason I see is she had seen of American glitter. She wanted to be part of it and had dreams about me leaving and her starting better life with rich and educated man from America. She had promised a Andrew a car.

He is in the school and buy a car for him to drive, where is the money for car and after car, insurance etc. who is earning and how much. Do we have legal status in US? She does not want to go to work a stay in college for worthless credits to maintain her status. She wants me to be deported. She is living on handouts. May by after my deportation she will get extra points to qualify for extra handouts. She had asked me money for car. She already has 2 cars and 2 vans she wanted to sell me back my car. He does not like those cars. She is a great spiritual woman with great faith. She makes so many stupid decisions by her faith.

At this point I was trying to find someone who could drill some sense in her commonsense. I contacted her sister in India and explained, she offered support and wrote me a letter, these are few lines from that;

Also I spoke to her brother explaining the present situation.in return he wrote back on Sep. 7th 1994 saying I know my sister and I know my brother in law too:

I was made to feel worthless, no employability, will be driving Taxi all my life, but I did not consider anything wrong in profession. People bought Gas Stations by driving taxi. It is giving me more than what I could make in the regular job. I enjoyed doing this in my own time. I am out on the road all day. I can choose my working hours, come home when I want. Take off when I want.

When I was to leave Navy in India in 1979, I was prepared to finance my own Auto Rickshaw if I did not get a good job. I had already acquired Auto commercial license and had gone to bank for financing. I wanted to use my Navy gratuity for financing. She was with me on every step. But I was accepted in a multinational abrasive material industry as industrial stores keeper with the responsibility of inventory control.

I went to lockup and was produced in front of a lady judge. I was not looked at kindly instead an abusive husband. She Linye came along and told judge that I showed up with her next day in the court house to see her. Judge sentenced me to 10 days jail. I was taken to jail and given a paper saying “WTR” and was explained that we don’t have place in the jail, come after 10 days and we will send you jail.

As I came home, she started nagging that everything is on your name and told me to sign all the stocks and bonds to her. You are going to jail and god knows when will you return (looks like I was going for life imprisonment) I was least bothered for materials. I could not sell them in US. They were bought while I was on vacation from Oman Army to Mumbai with spare cash. I signed and got rid of them and her. Now she lays another condition that I should go for substance abuse program. It’s meant for drug addicts and alcoholics. By doing this she wasted to prove to helping agencies that she is helpless, husband is in substance abuse program. Usually families of drug addicts are looked at kindly. She wanted to get benefits of their share. I did as she directed and met the coordinator for substance abuse of Salvation Army. He asked me how long I am on drugs and my reply was I never tried street drugs. He said then why are you here. I said someone arranged an appointment from your co-operate office.

2^nd^ Suicide attempt

I was living in my old landlord’s house. I went to get my belongings, she told me to give me money first, or I am sending you to jail again. I said “why are you doing this to me, you are destroying family and children”. Her answer was “I am only doing what god is telling me to do.” I pleaded and said “please for god sake have mercy on family” her answer was “ this is what lord thy god says the day is coming when you will beg for mercy and I will not have it” I said “this is too much”. I took my check book and wrote a check to her without amount and on remarks I wrote “price of my death.” I told her to call the police and send me to jail again. I managed to take one pair of clothes. I came to my new room and was so upset. All I could see in front of my eyes was jail and jail. What have I done wrong to this woman? Now is her time and I she should have been strategic planner for some country. Or she should have been in chess tournament. According to her it was her time to push me out of country or push me in jail and then out of country. It will be ok for her if I die. Again, I have to make a major decision. I just had contact and police will be here any moment. I had surplus TB medication went to the kitchen and took the whole bottle. As I was drinking water, land lord (Dutch) took the bottle and read side effects. He called emergency, then I called Corner Stone I was on line with corner stone and police came with ambulance and fire engine. I was taken to Butterworth hospital. By the time I got to hospital, I went into epilepsy. I was kicking my legs and I felt as I was flying straight and I was being pushed backward at high speed. I felt there was a wall in the back. I was going to hit my head any moment. Next thing I heard “Daddy” I opened my eyes and saw Ruth in front of my eyes. I closed again and I opened again. I was in ICU with many pipes in my nose and arms. Nurse came and told me I had been in coma for 3 days. I did not quite understand as who was talking what. I passed off again. Next morning they gave me a menu to mark what I want to eat. I could not concentrate. Norma came to visit and brought 3 cars titles. She told me to sign them so if anything happens to you, she can [+ dispose the cars+]. I did not care about material things, I signed them. she asked me “where is the title of car I was driving” I said it’s in my room. I was discharged on the same day while she was here. Nurse told her that I need post care for at least one week. She introduced herself as RN and would provide post care. What they knew was going on. They thought she being wife will take care of husband. No one knew that there is an arrest warrant waiting for as I leave. She brought me home and took care of me for night. She told me that she called the insurance and was told that insurance will not pay if it is suicide. I think she was thinking loud. I had not bought any insurance policy. She indeed had got policy on me from MONTGOMERY WARD LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY. They went out of business in 1999. By now she was working hard to prove her statement to my brother about mental hospital and jail.

Third arrest

Next morning she told Andrew my son to take daddy to court house. And she told me to go to court house and pay them weekly attorney fee. I said its ok I can go when I get well. I had court appointed attorney for my criminal case. I had to pay $10 a week. If I did not pay for a week, it did not matter. I can pay 2 weeks at a time. Andrew said “I will take you in the car” we left for court house. Andrew dropped me in front of building and I went in. As I went to the window, clerk checked my file, she said “there is a arrest warrant for you” and called police, got me arrested. There was a warrant of my arrest. She had made a complaint of contact while I was dying in the hospital. Later I read in complaint that police came to hospital to arrest me but I was in coma. I told officer “let me inform my son waiting outside. He agreed, we went outside and found Andrew was gone. She very well knew what she had prepared for me so she told Andrew to drop daddy and come back. Do not wait. I was immediately taken to judge my attorney also showed up and he suggested I should plead guilty to assault charges and I will explain real situation to her. In this way no new charges will be filed. I pleaded guilty to assault charges and was sent to jail for old violation charges for 10 days. I was very sick. Pain all over the body with lung pipe swollen and arms painful with due to continues IV drips for 4 days.

I was taken to Cass County Jail about 100 miles from Grand Rapids. As I go in the dormitory, what I see is all my cab clients. “Hooo cab driver, welcome to jail”. They were happy to have my presence in their mist. They were asking if I will oblige them some times with a ride if they are short of cash. Had jokes and shared food and played games together. I felt more comfortable in the jail rather than home. I was released in 6 days. May be they did not find any reason of correction in my behavior. They brought me to grand rapids courthouse and released me. I came out and was walking down the road towards new home. I saw Andrew and Ruth waiting at a bus stop. My eyes were fixed at them Andrew looked at me and immediately turned his face to other side while telling something to Ruth. Then Ruth looked at me and turned her face other side. I kept walking with my eyes fixed at them. I came close and stopped. They looked at me and said “oh daddy”. I said “Did you forget that you too have a father in this world?” one of them said “we were looking other side. I walked away with thoughts as what do they know I am going through. Or they think I am another mantel asshole.

I went to Dutch and he had already prepared a room for me. He showed me my room and said that house is over for you. You have to start fresh from now. He lent me some of his clothes and next day I went to thrift store and got some daily useful things. I asked her through someone to give my clothes and personnel belongings, but no was the answer. I had three choices, either to fight back, leave and go to India or look forward putting my life together. If I fight back I will be facing law and would prove that I am really what had been advertised about me, if I go back to India, I am coward running away from day today problems and if I look forward and start fresh alone without contacting, I will be blamed that I have abandoned the famil. This is their habit; they forget what they do and what is going to be the reaction of their actions. They only remember what ever wrong done to them.

Next morning I headed to my attorney Larry and requested him to file another divorce. He was kind enough to oblige me with legal help. Now I have to realize that everyone is no more. I have to live for myself. There had been no miracle and will not be any. Prophecy and God’s guidance are nothing but eye wash. I decided from now on I will have to document as much her lies as possible. I will contact again and record the conversation. If I go to jail again, it will be worth but I will have some kind of evidence if it submittable to court system or not. I went to electronic store and bought on small tape recorder. I use to call and cross question on past events.

Regarding my arrest while I was in coma, this is her reply: “if you leave I will make another complaintwhen I was leaving the house you told me that if you leave now from here, I am going to make a complaint that you are in touch with me and I will send you to jail again, you demanded the money for the insurance, you pay the insurance otherwise I am going to make a complaint. I did not make a complaint”

[+ Tape 2+]

Me: When I came back from the lockup, when I came back from the lockup and I wanted to move out I want to be serious because I did not want to have another jail, that day they gave me ten days jail but they told me to come back on eighth of July 8th of June and I wanted to move out because I did not want to get into trouble anymore and you threatened me and saying that if you leave I am going to make another complaint and send you to jail again. So I have to do something, I am dead sure that she you are going to send me 90 days and this is what happened. Next day when I went, I was arrested, what you said you did, I believe that. You said you did not do that. But according to my options and according to what was happening to me

Norma: listen

Me: yes

N: it just happened you believe

Me: you have said that you will see you have said if you leave you will make a complaint and you are going to get me arrested. You said that and next week (N) it happened (me) it happened. I was arrested

N: what about the person who doesn’t have faith

Me: now what faith will do tell me when action coming from what faith will do?”

She was trying to teach and convict me for not having faith. She means if I have faith that I will not be arrested, means I will not get arrested. “Faith without common sense” Many times I had major conflict on reality and faith. If I say this method will not work, her argument would be “it will not work because you don’t have faith.” As per the events I lost faith in her as well as God who she talks about. She will cote the bible verses in every conversation. She often gave examples of great faith characters in Bible. Her favorite verse:

Matthew 21:22:^ ^And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

She had been asking God so long to send my husband to India. She doesn’t want divorce nether she will live in harmony. When God did not, she took matter in hand in the name of god and by guidance of god.

Her faith is getting limited now saying “I have limited faith when I can tell you get out and I will try and get you back, that faith is also going to go.

She had shared her vision with children and they sure liked it. Whenever I tried to correct children, she would object. Often she insulted me in front of them and I had to keep quiet to maintain the peace. By now children started back talking back and would not care about my words. Once my son talked back and told me “FU” when I went to correct him. I was upset and I had punched on his face. This is the incident she used again and again to avoid my visitation with them. I am being father out of house use to keep watch on children. I knew his friends and Ruth’s friends, once I came to know about Andrew facing arrest, I had informed her. It was out of my hands. Now she wants me to take over but limited access. He came to know about his warrant and he ran away to Greenville as fugitive and use to call his mother. When detectives called her, she said “I’m not going to handover my son so easily, I have some conditions” detectives told her “we will find him, he cannot hide for long” Finally he was arrested and was arraigned on video. Judge had setup bond conditions like has to go to school every day, no going out after 10 pm etc. and must obey mother. She told judge to include another condition that he should not talk to his father. Judge refused to include that.

After 3rd arrest, I had asked her why these arrest warrants and here is the conversation:

Contact with you and get me arrested,

Norma: If I have done something wrong, it’s my fault

Me: when I had the no contact bond on me you signed a no contact bond and I was staying in the house, what was the need for you to go and make a complaint that I am in contact with you.

Norma: I did not make a complaint.

Norma: I didn’t make a complain

Me: you didn’t make a complaint.

N: I was called and told that you have taken over medication and they wanted the address t pick you up,

Me: second time why you went there, when Andrew and you went, before that you went and made a complaint and on Monday you went with Andrew,

Norma: Yaa Monday I went because you asked me to come there

Me: but Friday you went and made a complaint

N: NO, I didn’t make a complaint

Me: On Friday you made a complaint and on Monday you went with Andrew

N: I did not make any complaint till today

Me: see certain things ,certain things you don’t have to tell me I have a proof in my hand arrest warrant is issued on Friday that I am in continues in contact with you and on Monday, they have written that yes his her son says that he came last two days and visited. There are two warrants one is on Friday another is on Monday so you went on Monday I dint know you had been telling me I was telling you to go and get that thing off my back and you said I will go I will go and when you came back I asked you did you go? I dint get time I dint get time, but you got time you went there you made arrangement for my arrest and you came home and told me I dint get time do you think you are fooling me I don’t have the record with me I can show the record now I can’t go on what you talk because you are telling all shit, you are telling all lies you don’t have any truth in you. All you are making stories to me, that’s why I don’t want you to be present there.

Another lie when I took over dose, my land lord called the emergency and they connected to corner stone to speak to me. I was on phone with them and told them that I have taken over dose. My land lord was standing beside me. Corner stone explained to me as what effects I am about to face and ambulance was dispatched immediately to the phone line address. Through the whole conversation there was no mention of her phone number or address. Also I had remover her name from my next of kin since I filed first divorce. I was advised and I felt that it is impossible to live with this horrible Christ loving filled with Holy Spirit baptized with gift of tongues and prophecy disciple of God.

You pressed the charges but why Kent Oaks?

Ok you pressed the charges, why you have to send me to Kent oaks? See this is what makes me feel that you want you want to declare in the world that you got the mad husband you want to declare me mad

Declaring me mad means she gets more points to qualify for getting handouts from churches and nonprofit organizations. Same time she was trying to convince me to behave mental so that I will escape the charges. That would lead to unfit for adjustment of status for immigration. She was hitting many birds at one time. What a remarkable brain.

Another surprise of her brain

I told them it is

I needed the money because of the bills

I told them it is my signature, I accepted the signature I accepted this is my check, I wrote it but I tore it.

When 1st divorce proceeding was going on, she came to me and asked $125. I wrote the check and gave it to her. Then she said she wants cash and not check. I took the check and gave her cash. Since this check was made to her , I tore it and dumped it in the trash can. More than a year passed by. In between divorce was called off and I was kicked you by restraining order, I received my bank statement and there was Debit of $125 check to Norma Arora. I was surprised. I went to bank and enquired about check. They pulled the record and showed me the photo of check. I looked carefully and found the date of check was more than one year old. And pieces of check were put together but one corner was missing. I pointed out and they asked if it was my signature, I acknowledged the signature and pointed the missing peace. They said it does not matter. But matter of fact that this check is more than one year old, the teller had made a mistake by cashing it. Therefore they refunded me the money. What was their action or enquiry to her, I don’t know and was not interested to know. She had been keeping those pieces of check for more than one year.

I had mentioned to her that water is going above my head now. If you look back what treatment I had been getting after coming to US. I counted one by one of her actions. I had to leave house two times due to unbearable circumstances. I had recorded few lines to listen

Norma: that what I said, your mind is not from the Lord

Me: and your mind is from the lord what you did all that to me ya that was according to the Lord

N: what I did all that to you when you running away from us taking poison

Me: I had to run away when you don’t let me live you are keeping me under you, get inside the house, get inside the house, switch off the TV, don’t put these shoes on, what is this, is this husband of the house or head of the house, when I got to correct the children, don’t correct the children, you are the head of the house. Don’t go outside to look for the job don’t go outside, stay inside what is this, that was not the, I had to leave the house and go away under that condition, I could not assault you on that day, I should have done that very first day and I would have gone to jail very first day here

Norma: I am not asking you to justify whatever happened and we are separated, I am happy that we are come away from each other. It’s not just here we came here and are having so many problems, you know that?

Me: yes you had been running every day for the divorce

Norma: right from the start

Me: right from the start you are

Norma: right from the start I told you

Me: Remember what you told Douglas in the team, you told Douglas that I want to divorce my husband

Norma: So what’s the big deal?

Me: you wanted to join another husband there when we were in Oman, I want to divorce you , every day, when we came here, your wanted to divorce me every day,

Norma: Do you remember when you gave my ring back to me.

Me: when I’m filing the divorce why you are not taking the divorce

She does not remember what all she did? According to her she did nothing wrong it was all according to the Lord. She had been getting revelations in the night and putting them into actions on me. I lost my identity. She began to treat and command me like someone does it to a disobedient dog. All this started immediately after she had meeting with her cousin in Canada. Give hard time, if he gets aggressive, call the law enforcement and send him to jail. Then she can tell the world that he was alcoholic and abusive. If he goes away! So much better. Tell the world he was irresponsible and ran away with another woman. She qualifies for helping hand from agencies. Now she does not want me to justify my action of leaving the house and going away. Same time she is not sorry or accepting her misbehavior towards me .She had been doing that on purpose and reaping the benefits from agencies and NGOs towards her upkeep. On 15th may 2003 she did mention

Divorce had been her weapon to threaten throughout. But she won’t file one. Finally When I filed real divorce without letting her know, she could not take it and persuaded me to call it off. Me being practical person not interested in false threats and artificial faith and taking cover of Lord for self-benefits I got tired of her divorce song and gave her ring back to her saying this is the first step to the divorce. Now when I am filing the divorce again, she is not willing to accept it. This is America and not India where divorce cannot be finalized unless both parties agree. Michigan is No Fault Divorce State. She was more of a born again with no moral character burden than a basely wife. This is the born again Christian family demonstration from our family to our neighbors, law enforcements, friends and churches counselors.

She wants me to leave peacefully.

[* Another clarification*] about 3rd arrest warrant:

Me: But now also I cannot go, I am fix I have to wait for final sentencing

Norma: what, what’s that

Me: I have to wait for the final sentencing,

Norma: If you have to go if there is a telegram from home and you have to leave, one day both of us appear there or as Linye said, Linye said that you are going on prolonging and you’re going on cheating them by saying you’re going to leave you’re going to leave you’re going to leave and you are not leaving. You are fooling one side to the other side it should not be that he can make fool of us and he is making fool of you. She told me straight, straight on my face. And the complaint, your arrest was only instigated when you took the tablets and you and I was called by the hospital, I don’t want to go over and over same thing

Me: but I don’t know how hospital can call you because I did not give any information about you.

Norma: I worked my mind, I have worked I have tried, I have tried to get them to tell me, who called, who brought you in, they are working on that. They are going to find out which ambulance agency brought you in and the doctor who met you in the emergency, I want that to cut and clear because it was only because they called me, I had to tell Linye.

She was trying to persuade me that now all the doors are closed. Your future in USA is just jail and mental hospital. There is still time you can leave for India and escape the forthcoming wrath. She had the answer to every situation. There was a way according to her that I should get a telegram from home that my mother is sick and take it to court. As a matter of fact, this was not a capital punishment case that I had to make excuses and leave the country. Paul Hostetter had told me if there is trial, he will come and testify of her abuses to me. Does justice system care about one leaving or not. Linye had no business to peruse for me to leave. She was only domestic violence co-coordinator. It’s the immigration who has the jurisdiction on deportation. If it was so important for me to leave, why Linye did not called the immigration and got me deported. There is a procedure for that. In 1993 court system was obligated to send the information of felony convicts to immigration. Thereafter it was not their look out to follow the results. Court can directly communicate with me. Court system never communicates with defendant through his wife. Their way to communicate is always through attorneys. She must lie on every step for no reason. A Real born again spirit.

Hospital called her when I took over dose, My question was about my arrest warrant while I was in the hospital. I asked several times and all the times she denied. She did stutter in between. She is a perfect liar. Just say I did it all on purpose.

My land lord Dutch called and I spoke to them. I was conscious when I got to the hospital. Only when they put me on stretcher to take me in, I had convulsions and I lost my conscious for 3 days. Police always accompanies the ambulance. I was not picked up from her residence by arrest warrant!

I had left house after giving check, she threatened to me if I leave she will get me arrested, I went to my room right across the street, and when ambulance came, she was watching from the porch with children.

Since she was so adamant to send me with excuses of court, she does not like this place etc. I suggested lets go together

But her answer is I must go first.

In the end I had told her that I am going to file the divorce again and no one can stop this. Her reply to my decision was “If you file divorce again, this time I will really get you deported.” What does she think she is? Immigration officer?

My reply to her was I have taken enough from you and you have created maximum troubles for me. I am sure I can take one more and see what happens.

New place to live

Dutch had another house about mile away and was getting vacant. I moved to another house. I got back to my old TV repair business. I was driving cab too. Now I went and brought Scotch whisky. I took two pegs and felt relaxed. I had good night sleep. But she did not leave me alone. She started visiting me again on my Gelock house. I was without car, I could manage without, I was a taxi driver had taken a taxi on 24 hours lease. But still I asked her one of the cars. She offered me to buy my own van back. Now I have to buy my own material. I said no way. I can manage without. She often asked money and due to children I use to give. When I saw she was in need of money and wanted to sell her van. I was also single and looking for fun. So I invited her to my new place for sex. She came and started visiting often. I asked my attorney if it was legally safe for me. she possibly cannot complaint violation of restraining order.

Fate of cars:

Plymouth Valery was impounded. Chevy spectrum was manual transmission. She being new driver blew up the clutch plate and cost of repairs was too much so She got it traded for Chevy S10 truck with financing. Son Andrew had an accident while she was in the car. Car slipped on the ice and hit the pole. She sues Andrew for it. I got a call from some attorney asking if she had neck pain before. Possibly she sued for neck pain. I came to know she settled for undisclosed amount.

table=. =. |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. Case # 96-10036-NI | =. |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. File Date: 09/09/1996 | =. |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. ARORA, NORMA vs. ARORA, ANDREW | =. |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. ARORA, NORMA E – PLAINTIFF | =. |=.
p<>{color:#000;}.  

|

Later Chevy S10 was impounded by financer for nonpayment.

I don’t know what happened to other two. But she was without vehicle very soon.

Then she took a letter to congress man in Detroit from her foreign student adviser painting worst picture of mine and requested the immigration adjustment of status on humanitarian grounds. Well Mr. Tapster the foreign student advisor did not know me. He only heard her stories and evidence of domestic violence arrest record was in her hands. There were all the reasons to believe her. One day she pleaded to me to drive her to Detroit. She had got a letter from foreign student advisor explaining her hardship and her petition for green card is to be delivered personally. I did not suspect any foul play and went along to Detroit. I asked her to show me the letter and was very reserve and said it is confidential. I was made to wait in the street while she went and delivered the letter.

Well within next few days Immigration knocked my door to arrest me. He asked for my passport and asked “did you go to Jail?” my reply was “the moment my wife tells something to law enforcement, they immediately come after me.” His reply “I have nothing to do with your wife’s statement.” My reply to him “then what are you doing here” well he said he came to arrest me but now he will take my information and go. He looked at all TV sets and asked “What do you do for living.” I said I repair electronic gadgets and drive cab.”” For now your student visa is still valid and tomorrow you go and get admission in collage and I will call Tapster to confirm it.” (That confirms that was about Tapster’s letter)

Here I knew who is behind. Letter was not for her green card but it was for my deportation. I was like a sacrificial individual made to dig my own grave.

. To my understanding, this letter was under the provisions from USCS In the case of an alien spouse admitted under subparagraph (A), (E)(iii), (G), or (H) of section 1101 (15) of this title who is accompanying or following to join a principal alien admitted under subparagraph (A), (E)(iii), (G), or (H) of such section, respectively, the Secretary of Homeland Security may authorize the alien spouse to engage in employment in the United States and provide the spouse with an “employment authorized” endorsement or other appropriate work permit if the alien spouse demonstrates that during the marriage the alien spouse or a child of the alien spouse has been battered or has been the subject of extreme cruelty perpetrated by the spouse of the alien spouse. Requests for relief under this section shall be handled under the procedures that apply to aliens seeking relief under section 1154 (1)(A)(iii) of this title.

It was great news for me. Once she gets employment permission, she will not bother me any more for money. But real story I came to know later on from Paul Hostetter.

A week later Paul Hostetter form reformed bible college who had been involved personally with my situation called and told me that she has submitted a letter against you to authorities. I said I provided her convenience to deliver. If she was constructive minded, she could use above provision to get settled. But she [+ was not interested to work+]. Lord was providing everything on her door step. How was I working? I was interested to work and eat my bread with respect. She was advertising to every one she comes across right up to court system, police and Immigration that “my husband is illegally working and earning $75 to $100 every day “ she had mentioned to me one day that “you will see in few days your license will be cancelled. She told me that City official told her, how he can drive passengers when he is charged with assault. They are waiting to hear from court.” she tried to cancel my Cab driving License from city of Grand Rapids, if it was cancelled, I would do something else like my first factory job to unload trailer trucks. There were plenty of jobs available if one wanted to work. I had all the papers required for employment. She too had but was not interested to work.

By now all the neighborhood knew about her actions towards me and hated her. They would give her dirty look. I had moved away to another place. Now she was blaming me for not taking care of them. Playing usual song of rape and getting stripped. As per law, if she was getting stripped or raped, I could not interfere. I would go to jail. If I was caught or seen in her street, I would be arrested. One day she called me and started accusing me for instigating neighbors against her. She could call police on her own husband and sent him to jail. She had restricted his to entry to her street, why can’t she call police on neighbors? What could I do, I was living far away. What was she trying to achieve. She wanted me to be around so that she can send me jail again? There was no doubt, she would take advantage of my generosity and do it as she had been doing all this time. I had to become wise some time or other.

I had informed my attorney to do something she keeps kissing and kicking. Get the arrest warrant In the name of restraining order. when I return, it was a mistake. Larry my attorney had been in process of getting mutual restraining order. So he called her and told her to stop visiting and bothering Satish. She refused to abide by and continued. Finally he was able to acquire a mutual restraining order.

On July 8th her birthday I got a call from christable Papoutsis from Canada. After we returned from Canada, we never called her. My phone was listed so she called my place. Norma was also there on that day. Christable said “what Satish you all disappeared in USA.” I was not interested in conversation, therefore I gave phone to Norma and I heard her say Satish has filed divorce and is looking forward to get married to American woman to get green card. I was going to say something but I said to hell with her. She is born liar and let her lies bring her down. She went to other room and spoke behind closed doors for long time.. My mailman came and dropped a letter in the mail box. She came out and she saw it was mutual restraining order. She said “I will send you jail again” I said “I am not in your house or on public place. You are in my house, now I can maintain the balance. You send me jail so do I? She got the message and left.

When she came to ask money? I asked her “after getting all this from you, why do you think I will pay you? Her reply “because I got your children” My reply was Go to Linye, she will pay your bills. You had intention to deport me. Now you think that I am being deported and manage as you would”. Her reply was “I had been telling you several times to go back to India and you are not going, therefore I had to take this step.” To me she had been saying going back to India is the only solution for you, according to her she had closed all doors for me

go to India and make a place for us and then we all will come. Did not sound right to me! Then she asked me to buy my own car from her. She had been continually in collage taking useless classes to maintain her F1 status and pushed me to become out of status so that she can deport me. What is the college about? Young rich students. Also when I filed divorce, she told me to withdraw divorce or I will deport you. My reply was you have done enough and can try this too.

Real war

Real war just about to start about material and visitation. Immediately after filing divorce I got a letter from The Friend of the Court. It is court’s friend and not ours. They called us to interview about setting up visitation and child support. She was eagerly looking forward for this. She came prepared with her weapons of sharp conversations. About child support I was supposed to show proof of income. Since I had all cash income, I could not provide exact figure. I had given my average figure. It varies day to day and season to season. I said “if it snows there is bit more business.” Immediately she spoke “when it rains also there is more business” I agreed. She knew how much I was making; she had been in my cab riding for excuse to learn cab driving.

Visitation: she said “he is abusive to children and my son told me he has pornographic books in his house. Therefore visitation should be supervised. I was speechless. Andrew is not here to verify either of her claims. Court wrote in interim order that visitation may be supervised. It was not “May “for her it was “Must”. Later on I [+ confirmed from Andrew and he said it was a“lie”+]

She wants to pick up every small object of material from me. If possible make me nude and send me back to India. She had already warned me “if you file divorce again, I will deport you” my replay was “I am able to survive so far with all your tricks and law enforcement being on your side handling your restraining order complaints.” Now I need extra defense. She is not getting her way. She always considered herself as superior and expected being English mother tongue, law will do what she asks and I will have nothing to say. Since she was declaring me a mental case, her decisions are going to be applied on me. By now she is like wounded lioness; she is desperate to fulfill her mission. She goes out for man hunting for her. She can use him for her expenses as well as she can make him fight with me. So far enemy was hidden in my bedroom and now she is out in open challenging. I decided to stay in Defense mode but be vigilant. My landlord lived across my old house. He did give me some information.

Counseling

She called in the name of emergency. Now she wanted to reconcile. Reconcile and me! Out of question. I don’t think I need any more crap from her. How can I trust her? Maybe this time I will be framed again for something serious. I agreed to face as long as someone responsible is present. I guess she was going to a particular church painting my black picture to get benefits. May be her story had lots of red flags. Therefore they insisted on reconciliation meeting. I had nothing to lose and I am not going to be trapped this time. I agreed to attend reconciliation meeting not for reconciliation but to expose my side. On appointed day I went to a big church. I was taken to a special room. She was already present. I sat in front of him and she was on side of me like small oval. The meeting started, he asked me to tell my side of story. I stretched and she pretended as I was going to hit her. Pastor lectured me on assault. I sat quietly. By now I knew what was sown in his mind by her. I did not object to his lecture in return I said “let us hear her side first”. She had long complaints like I ran away from responsibilities, I don’t care about children, and I am not providing etc etc all crap and nothing about her actions. After hearing her side, as I shifted my sitting angle, she moved quickly as I was going to hit her again. Immediately pastor started a new lecture about how bad I was to assault her here. I kept quiet and heard the full sermon. Then I asked if I can talk. I explained I had spinal surgery and my back hurts by sitting too long. I have to shift suddenly when I get shocking pain. Do you think I am from road side bum that I will assault in this counseling room? I ran away first time because I was kept like dog in the house. I had no liberty to go out and look for job. Moment I go out she would scream at me and say “get inside the house” like you tell your dog. He looked at her and asked “why” she replied “when lord in providing right at our door step, why should he go out to find a job”. One should have seen the face of pastor. He took a pause and spoke “you know god has given burden to his heart to earn bread for family by working hard. You are causing obstruction in god’s ways. Providing up to door steps is for unfortunate people who have no source and are not able to meet their daily needs, are starving in extreme conditions” he opened bible to read a scripture. I knew now the preaching will start. I got up and said “pastor, please relive me as I have to go to work I left off in half way. You can call me again when she is ready.” I never heard from either of them again.

Sentencing

Finally day is here for me to face the judge for my guilty pleas sentencing. On July 21st I am going to be sentenced by judge. Her expectations were very high like I had committed capital crime. By now due to her continues complaints to get me arrested. They had realized that it was she who was trouble maker rather than me. She also tried to get my Taxi Hacker license cancelled on the bases of “charged criminally for assault and battery” so that I become unemployed and leave country. They denied her request. When I returned from jail and went to her. I asked for my taxi hacker license. She refused to give thinking now my arrest will be in record and they will refuse to give me new one. I managed to get the duplicate license and was back to work.

Soon after this I got a letter from my defender attorney saying as per your wife Norma if you divorce, you will be deported. And am not permitted to work in US.

I knew the law. It is only applicable for alien who is sponsored by spouse on the grounds of marriage. If alien divorces the spouse, the sponsorship is void and alien gets deported. We were both in the same boat but she was maintaining her student status and I was out of status.

This is another trick to cause confusion. Court system and divorce/criminal attorneys don’t know anything about immigration. When I went to one of the attorney’s office and was seated in the waiting room. I started to look around. I saw many law books in book shelf on display. I started reading heading. I saw U.S. Code: Title 8 – ALIENS AND NATIONALITY. In 1993 there was no internet. I took the book and wrote down the title and publisher phone number. I came home and called the publisher. It was $216. I ordered it and I use to read American immigration laws.

I told me attorney not to bother her advices. Nothing good is going to come from her. I had enough experiences with her and was making my own decisions. She had been telling every official or non-official that I am illegal and working. May be someone will answer her prayers. I am sure she told Jesus every day.

Judge realized that I was an honest tax paying hard working individual had never been involved in any illegal or violent activities. I was the person with stable mind and character. On the other hand she with no stable job was perusing her goal to destroy me and ship me out of country.

I appeared in front of judge and explained my action due to aggravated situation. She (judge) was sympathetic and told “Mr. Satish Arora I realize that you are a respectable person. Because you have pleaded guilty, you have put me in situation. I have to fine you $100 with NO Jail term. That’s the minimum I can do. Now you can go and I would not want to see you again in my courtroom. I paid the fine and walked out of court.

Moved in with her boyfriend

Dutch my landlord informed me that there is a visitor every day. I was least bothered. I am already on divorce proceedings. I had nothing to do. Now she can have any amount of visitors for nights or days.

One day I got a phone call from my veto street land lord. “Norma vacated and has not cleaned the house. It was still on my name. I was moved out because of restraining order and due to kids; I had not interfered with lease agreement. But I had informed land lord not to evacuate them. If rent is not paid, let me know and I will cover it. She was not aware of this arrangement. Now I was relieved of my apartment responsibility. I was happy that she moved out. I hope she is gone far away. I wish to have no more trouble. But I was wrong this time also. She moved out with Bill Mackey, owns a house about 2 miles from my house. Being cab driver I have been driving every street. One day I went to her neighbors to drop off. I saw my son standing out. I understood this is the house and it is not advisable to stop otherwise I will be charged for violation of restraining order. Andrew came next day and asked me “why you were in shamrock street. “My reply I went to drop off” so is this your new house? Something interesting happens next. A white woman shows up at my door. I was surprised at this visitor. No woman has ever visited me. I had my cab driver friend with me. She expressed desire to talk to me something serious. I called her in and she introduced herself as Jenifer, wife of William Mackey.

William Mackey also known and Bill Mackey was on some kind of disability pension for his survival. Being on pension, he had plenty of time to drive her around. Her statement “I am Williams’s live-in partner. He sent me to my mother’s house in Arizona and when I returned I saw he brought your wife Norma to live with him. Are you alone, shall we live together? My reply was “that is the reason I am divorcing her. If William lives with my wife, it does not make it right for me to live with his live in partner. I am too preoccupied in my problems with her and am not interested to invite more.” Two wrongs don’t make one right.” No job and two women + 2 borrowed children at home. It’s like harem. There had been several complaints about Jennifer to police by Norma because she had more rights on house and Bill than Jennifer. Finally she moved out and gave full space to Norma. Now Norma is ruling the rust. That did not lost long either.

One day Andrew picked up condemns from his mother’s drawer, He use to carry in the pocket for emergency use. When Bill came home, he noticed few condemns were missing. He accused her of being unfaithful and was thrown out. Mr. Chesterglass told me that he provided her the ride and emergency shelter to her.

Ruth was very reserve, would not talk anything. She was continuously calling someone. By evening she got the phone call from Norma and left. Andrew stayed back with me. Came to know later, she went back and something happened in November 94 you will read.

From that day I often saw Norma on public parking lots by road side her sitting of hood of his car and he lying on her lap. I guess either they were in extreme love or they wanted me to see and get jealous.

When I got the call from land lord, I was not interested to go and clean the house. I offered him the money to get it cleaned. He said he will manage.

Whereas Norma had to filed complaint against bill, she states different story to police.

“She told me that suspect has been basically holding her & her daughter hostage in suspects home “

“Ms. Arora first contact with the suspect was back in May of this year. The suspect’s uncle went to the same church as Ms. Arora. They met through the uncle. The suspect be friends her during a turbulent time in the life and run into friends between Ms. Arora and her Ex-husband who was abusive. Ms. Arora’s land lord at that time Ms. Arora forced out of home at 616 veto due to land lord’s failure to repair the property. The suspect told her that she and her daughter could move in with him (as friends) until she could afford another place.”

Veto St. Land lord says she moved out quietly without paying rent.

Divorce

Finally the day is coming close. Ball has started rolling between her attorney and my attorney. Our proposal was very simple. She can have all materials she owns in USA and I will own what I have. I was put out of house with body of clothes. She had already taken my signature of cars and vans etc. our joint account had nothing and last check I gave her was signed without amount. There was nothing there. She had already disposed her gold and I had returned wedding ring. When it comes to divorce, everything must be divided, assets and liabilities. I had $12,000 medical bills. If she demands anything I will push medical bills. We did not have to waste court’s time. We could come to some understanding and depart. But she had already warned me before that if I file divorce, she will not agree to any thing and create maximum trouble for me and prolong as much as possible. Most of all she had attorney from Legal Aid; an institution provides attorneys to individuals cannot afford financially.

May 3rd 1994 we had pretrial conference with Judge. It is a conference where all the divorce matters are discussed in gentle manner and come to some kind of understanding. Generally it is property division, custody of children, support for children, visitation for children, and alimony for either party if eligible. Both parties are present with their attorneys and judge in the middle. Judge does not pass any judgment but explains according to law if it can be done or no. if not why? This was my first experience and I was hoping to come to some understanding and walk out without going for trial.

I went with my attorney dressed up in Kurta and Pajama my brother had sent me from India I used these clothes so that she will look down at me being Indian, not an English accent and will look unrespectable in her eyes. We were escorted to judge’s chamber. Little while later she came with her attorney dressed up in 3 pcs red skirt suite. She looked like highly educated impressive business executive. In a minute judge came in and sat on his chair.

First judge explained the purpose of this meeting and asked her demands. She had a long laundry list of complaints rather than demands, like he is very irresponsible husband, father. He is not able to provide our needs, he wants to send money to his mother in India. They are well to do. They have not done anything for him. he smokes and drinks bear every day. He abandoned us and left home etc. as usual crap. Judge intercepted and said “Mam I know there are problems in the marriage. He has done right thing by filing divorce. Now I want to know what you want as final divorce settlement.” She realized this is not complaint chamber, this is divorce settlement chamber. Or she knew it is divorce chamber but wanted to distract judge from the point and cause confusion. Her expectations were that judge will start hitting on my wrist on each complaint. Her first demand “he has started gemstone import and distribution business with my help. I want 50% of the business .” I thought in my mind that I was to start business and called samples. She never gave back the samples to me to market. By the time I got another sample box, I spent more in establishing than earning. Since it was a business, I had to file a tax return, profit or loss. Judge asked me “what was the profit in your business last tax period and do you have any evidence?” “Yes your honor”, I said I took out the tax return and passed it to him. “I had a net loss of $350” I said. Judge looked at her and said “pay him $175 and I will grant you 50% partnership”. She had a strange answer “this tax return is wrong and he will make wrong tax return every year”. Judge: “there is IRS stamp on this tax return; it is not my job to see if it is wrong or right. If he files wrong tax return, IRS will deal with him.”

Next demand by her: “we were married in India, I have called and found out that this divorce in USA is not valid in India.” I thought to myself again, she got confused with her nursing qualifications. As Indian nursing qualifications are not valid in US, so US divorce is not valid in India. Judge bent forward on his seat towards her and said “He has filed the divorce to me and I am going to grant it. It is not my lookout if it is valid in India or not.” Her next demand: “I am going through financial hardship, so he must start paying me some kind of alimony”. Judge asked “if you get a job today, can you work? Now she thought judge is going to offer her a job. “Yes” she immediately said “I am a Registered Nurse and had worked in Oman and India.” Judge “you are not eligible for alimony. Alimony is for those spouses who have become unable to work during their married period.” Nobody told her the meaning of alimony before or she never bothered to refer dictionary. Then she came down to property and said “I want the part of property he owns in India.” Judge “Tell me what he got in America and I will give you. I have no jurisdiction in India. You will have to go to court in India to settle.”

My request for children visitation: she did not agree to visitation one on one. She insisted that the visitation should be supervised. Children cannot come to my house. It has to be in park or shopping center.

Her demand “He doesn’t provide financial support to family. Her demand for support should be revised. 20% compound interest should be paid on outstanding amount. Also she took care of me during his hospitalization, $2000 for my services and $3000 my collage back fee should be paid before divorce.

A compensation of million and half towards hardship she had to go through because of me.

He should pay back the money he invested during marriage in his family house.

All this should be done before divorce is finalized. He had told me one time he will buy my ticket and send me back to India. It proves that he has hidden undeclared funds and court should take notice of it.

Fact sheet is, We had no property, no bank balance, she does not want to work, I am a taxi driver rent company car for 12 hour shift in small town of 150,000 populations Grand Rapids MI. she knew there is no oil in this Till (sesame). But she just wants to cause confusion and delay process. She does not want to live as normal human being and doesn’t want to lose slave. In USA if you are able to work and don’t work, justice system does not look kindly at you. It does not matter you are legal or illegal, if you are not working; you are Burdon on government and NGOs agencies. It can be utilized for some other needy person.

There were several unfounded requests from her and judge finally said “we cannot come to any decision; therefore I will have to hammer out these demands at the trial.”

I cannot understand first she wanted divorce and her repeated tantrum of divorce made me to leave house. I returned and again same tantrum, I left and filed divorce, she comes back, persuades me to withdraw divorce. When divorce is called off, she causes more tantrums and makes my life miserable. Now she is causing for smooth proceedings and trying to cancel or delay as much as possible by proceeding with unreasonable demands. What she really wanted, was she threatening for more control, and was she trying maximum free money or she was trying to destroy me.

We left and again negotiations started through attorneys. Her demands were beyond exactions like 20% compound interest on due amount. I was so tired and fed up with all three of them that I had stopped paying support. There was some due amount which I called the court after returning from Australia and paid in full. Her attorney tried to explain to her that her demands are so unreasonable, there is no attorney can peruse it. Result: attorney gave up and asked for release from her attorney client relationship. She does not agree to that too. So attorney filed a motion to judge to get her released from client. Below is letter from her attorney to my attorney.

Now she goes to find another attorney. Free attorneys only do what is permitted by law. By now she realized If she was a paid client, they will do it with no guarantee to win but will charge $300 an hour She goes looking another attorney and found on from nonprofit NGO. I was so fed-up with her that I had informed my attorney to accept any reasonable demand expect financial. But I had a demand. I wanted was my medal from operation desert storm of 1991 Iraq war given to me by Sultanate of Oman government. It was my decoration and had sentimental value, not monetary value. My request was denied by her making excuse that I had entered her house illegally many times and I must have taken it.

Here the divorce proceedings were going fast. I just wanted her brother to give a try. I called India and spoke to Joseph martin her brother who is a pastor. He offered to call and talk to her. Later after divorce was finalized, he called me and asked me the telephone charges occurred for talking to his sister. You were calling to save your sister’s mirage. I refused because there was no outcome.

Again her second attorney withdraws from her. She was a tough nut to crack.

I met Mark Haslem in the courthouse of the day of motion to withdraw. I asked him the reason to withdraw, his answer was: “She does not pay heed to legal counsel.” She went again to legal aid for another free attorney. They were tired of her demands and finally decided to withdraw as organization.

I got disinterested fed-up of her behavior. I am not demanding anything and she want to stick to me like leach. Date was set for Divorce Trial again and again.

By now restraining order was off since the day I pleaded guilty and final sentencing. They did not find me harmful so the restraining order was discontinued. Day before the divorce trial I called to let her know there is no benefit in court battles. Neither of us is going to get any benefit. She was living with Bill Mackey with children. As she picked up the phone she said Bill is upset. I don’t know Bill was upset on divorce and was scared to take care of this witch. Or he was upset of my call that I may persuade her back with me. That was never going to happen. At least she will be occupied and leave me alone.

Next moment I got a call from her saying. “By tomorrow morning 9 am you put $5000 in my mail box. Otherwise I am going to create big problems for you.” My reply was “so far I had been facing problems only from you. I will face one more!”

Day before trial date She comes up again with money demand . From $5000 to $350. Why, because she rehired attorney Sara Ann Tuffli for divorce finalization. She went around looking for free attorney but by now she had destroyed her reputation so much that no one was interested to do her Attorney job fee. It is $300 and hour and she agreed to finalize the divorce as it is .Dees she had any dignity or self-respect. Living as sex instrument with another man and demanding money from husband who is finalizing divorce next morning.

The day before the trial she accepted the agreement as it was charted out. She takes advantage of every situation. Next morning I went to court dressed in pajama and Kurta. She walks in with her boyfriend Bill Mackey dressed in beautiful suite as he was going for his own wedding and she was dressed like business executive.

After the routine divorce judgment proceedings, her attorney took out papers for criminal restraining order against me. This is the big trouble for me she was talking about. My children being in her custody, I had some questions to contact mother or children directly. If she is gentle, she will pass the phone and if not she can say no one is here and same time one phone call is recorded and has a witness who overheard some nuance talk and I get arrested. It was a tough situation. But judge said again “Satish I am telling you, you are going to have very tough time from her.” Probably he realized with the track record. We signed the agreement and I left to my home.

Andrew

Visitation had always been problem her goal was not to give excess to me for children. I am not aware as what she had been telling them? I being under restraining order had limited access. Contact by phone was only possible if one of them pickup on the other end. Most often when it’s my call, I would get this message. If phone is picked up by her, I have to hang up, if it is pickup by her boyfriend, he shouts from other end “I will kick your ass” finally one day I told him, “wait and see your ass is going to be kicked very soon”. On June 19, 1994 I went for first visitation to the parking lot of a restaurant at appointed time. She came with children and her boyfriend. Andrew was 17 and Ruth was 16 at that time. She wanted her boyfriend William Mackey to supervise this visitation. I objected and wanted to be alone with my children. She said this is her condition of supervision. Andrew told me to go somewhere else and walked towards car. She told him “if you go with daddy, I will tell your probation officer of your disobedience and you will be arrested” let me explain a bit. Andrew had been in trouble with law and was released on bond. Being minor one of the conditions was to obey his mother. He got frozen right away and did not know what to do. Same time her boyfriend told me as usual “I will kick your ass” practically he could not because he is drawing disability check. I called the police and

Visitation over and every one left. She was successful in her mission.

Since I was out of house her ultimate mode of correction was [+ Grand Rapids Police+]. If he is disobedient, she will call police to correct him. Now she was living on state provided help for children, GRPD had taken over as husband and other people provided material.

Angela Nicole Dawn Taylor

Angie belonged to LGBT category (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender). She was hearing imperative. She went to work to pay her bills. She paid me every week for using my house. So I could not tell her to do our job. I had 3 bedroom big houses. We all had one room each. I saw her in the street on night while coming home in the winter snow. It was minus temperature. Being taxi driver I thought I will make little extra money while on the way home. I asked her where she was heading. She replied she has no house and has been put out by her roommates. I did not feel comfortable to leave her in freezing cold. I thought she can spend night in one empty room and tomorrow I will call NGOs to find her place. I came home and showed her room. My house being maintained me and my son, can imagine the condition like dump. I was dead tired and went to sleep. Next morning when I got up with the sound of washing machine. I went and was surprised, house was cleaned and beautiful looking. Now she collected all dirty clothes and was doing laundry. At about 2 pm I started calling various shelters. I requested them to take her in. I have given her emergency shelter. But when I told them her full name, every one of them denied. She had been put out of all shelters. They would not disclose me the reason. I spoke to her and told her if she behaves, she can stay here. She promised to pay me as roommate and she was working on a BBQ shop. After about 3 months my friends told me to get married with her and get your status straight. Idea was not bad but somehow I was not attracted by her. She was good co-worker. She knew how to handle tools. She could change brakes alternator in car. But was stupid. She was like programmed rowboat. Would not accept correction and always did according to her software programming. I had TV sets at home and use to repair in spare time. She use to watch. One day when I returned home, she told me, “don’t touch this TV, this is bad TV I got shock” in my absence she tried to test like I use to by touching certain parts of TV to check signal input but she had touched high tension area.

Andrew’s arrest

Next day I called his probation officer and asked if he would act for Andrew going with me. His reply “technically it is violation but we may consider as he was to be with his dad.” “what is the solution for him to be free from this threat?” my question to him. He said his alternate bond is set for $350. If he is arrested of bond violation, whoever pays the bond can take him to live with.”

But she wanted him to stay in “Bridge” it is [+ bridges juvenile center Michigan+] where they send troubled juveniles for correction. It is meant for US Permanent Residents or Citizens and not for illegal aliens. People advising her do not know this. Like she went running to welfare office to get welfare immediately after putting me in jail and was denied. Andrew is not allowed to visit his father but he will go to bridge for correction.

Andrew was most [+ uncomfortable+] in the house. There was no harmony or communication. Now she was deciding to send him to [+ Foster Home+]. While father is capable of taking care. Here again she does not realize it is meant for children without parents or handicap parents. Now she is desperate and suggests police to call [+ immigration+] and send him to India. At this point she wants to [+ deport+] me and Andrew both, not together but separately. This call was made in her absence.

I tried to talk to her about situation and this was conversation:

Norma: No but I do not want you to think that I’m not able to handle Andrew.

Me: oh you are capable you are able to handle me how can we why can’t you handle Andrew you got you got cops on your fingertips you got detective unit on your fingertips you got every other nonsense on your fingertips you can handle any other nonsense in the world

Norma: what exactly you are trying to say

Me: you said “you don’t think that I cannot handle Andrew” you cannot handle Andrew, I don’t think that.

Norma: are you trying to say

Me: You are capable of handling any nonsense

Norma: are you trying to give your son this impression that I can land him up in Bombay is that what you want is that’s the reason my son is running away every day because he cannot trust me

Me: no that’s not the impression I’m giving

Norma: this has started from the time you had discussion with him

Me: see every small thing happens in the house you have to call the cops that’s not the way house we should be living every little thing you have to call the cops what do you think the cops are here

Norma: you should be behaving

Me: you should be behaving I did not call the cops at home for any nonsense you called the cops on me four times

Andrew had tough time dealing with his mother. He did not know which side to go. He had more freedom with her than me. I was strict and kept eyes on him about everything. He was of playing age and only friends he could find was in school. There was no one in the neighborhood. By now he was old enough to understand and see her behavior. Therefore he started back answering her about herself when questioned about his missing at nights. He started questioning her about her actions characterless life style. Now she had two thorns to pull for her free style life to enjoy. She decided to [+ send Andrew with me to India+]. In this way she will hit two birds with one stone. She was playing chess with me; I had to guess her next move. By now according to her, she had given me check from all sides, I was completely blocked. I was working on my defense and was confident on my moves. I pretended I was scared and wanted to see how far she goes down in her character and decency.

Andrew had been in several violations with the law. Being night cab driver, I passed his house and several times I saw him outside. On asking “where your mother is and why are you out here?” his reply “she is gone to spend night in her boyfriend’s house”. Also the friends he hung around were not dubious character. They were involved in several illegal activities like car breaking, house breaking, drugs peddling etc. His mother had told me that she found marijuana in his pocket. His habits were changing, a boy without guidance and had been skipping school. He was showing up the symptoms of drug user and peddler. I was trying to repair the situation and she called saying I don’t care and I said why should you care. You got cops on your fingertips, just call the cops and send him to jail.

[+ Behavioral Signs+]

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Change in overall attitude/personality with no other identifiable cause.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Drop in grades at school or performance at work;
skips school or is late for school.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Change in activities or hobbies.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Chronic dishonesty.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Sudden oversensitivity, temper tantrums, or resentful behavior.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Difficulty in paying attention; forgetfulness.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. General lack of motivation, energy, self-esteem, “I don’t care” attitude.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Change in habits at home; loss of interest in family and family activities.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Paranoia

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Moodiness, irritability, or nervousness.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Excessive need for privacy; unreachable.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Secretive or suspicious behavior.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Car accidents.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Change in personal grooming habits.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Possession of drug paraphernalia.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Changes in friends; friends are known drug users.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Unexplained need for money, stealing money or items

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Presence of unusual number of spray cans in the trash

I had warned him several times that if one of his friends went to jail; they will come home after the completion of sentence. But if he goes to jail, he would not be coming home. He would be shipped back to India. Here this woman did not let him see me and she was gone out for night to boyfriend’s house. This boy is aimless without guidance.

I decided to complain his violations of being out of house in the streets in the night. (He is not supposed to leave house after 10 PM) and pay his bond immediately. I called and spoke to probation officer and told him please let me know when he gets arrested. He said he will send the warrant to judge and after it is signed, it will go to police dept. since it is not dangerous matter, police may go immediately or he may get caught somewhere when his ID is checked for some reason. After few days I got a collect call from Andrew that he is in jail. I said I will be coming with money. Soon after that I got a call from detective Carrasco saying there are several complaints from Norma about your violations. I offered to pay personnel visit to detective. Now before I get Andrew released, I have to get myself released. I was shown all complaints. It was revenge for getting Andrew arrested. Andrew use to call every day and I told him what I was going to pay your bond and get you released. He was patient enough to wait. I told him get your mother off my ass. Now I have to see my bond.

Somehow it took one week for me to settle after talking to my attorney and writing to judge before the warrant could be signed. I got Andrew out by paying bond.

He was in and out of my house and mother’s house. Several times police was called upon him for not obeying mother. Calling police was also free. They would show up immediately. One day I had told her to start dating a police man so that she won’t have to call, when you need police, he will be right there I being without communication was not aware of his outside activates. One day he shows up early morning and asks $70, the reason if he does not pay he will be arrested. He had sold one car radio to someone and it was stolen. He was not aware of it. The person who bought it checked with police data base and it was stolen one. Now buyer demanded money back otherwise he will be going to jail. I drove him there and he went in and came out with his face pale. Buyer took the money and had already reported to police about the seller.

I filed for his custody on the bases of his affidavit. By now we were already divorced. So she gets another attorney to represent her from Legal Aid again free attorney. But he gave up on her. She had to get another one from somewhere else. By now she was well experienced beggar enjoying free privileges from US system; she took volunteer job in Salvation Army and told me the system. She could collect as much as she wanted during her volunteer hours and kept aside. Next day when she was not a volunteer, she would go to pickup what she kept aside. Every single thing from clothes to household and office supplies was from there. She said she got a typewriter and not she bought one typewriter. She came all the way from India to become professional bagger when so many opportunities were available back then in 1992.

In the custody hearing she reported that I was illegal but judge said when he gets shipped out by immigration son can live with her.

She was not happy because of her defeat. It was question of her victory and defeat. Now she would not agree to amend the support amount agreed by me. I let it go and kept paying his portion of support to her and he was living with me.

Soon after court, he wanted to move his belongings to my house. I being under restraining order could not go to her house. Next day I went to PO with him to check my mail. He saw his mother with her boyfriend in the PO. He told his mother to get his belongings, she told him to follow us to garage. We reached before her to the garage. II dropped Andrew saying, you can take your belongings and wait here. I will be back in 10 minutes. On I return I passed from main road and saw 3 police cars with her. I got this police report.

(Mrs. Arora has a protection order against her husband. She says he has been following her. She is here at 822 Douglas waiting for service. Son Andrew is with her, to get his belongings here. Mr. Arora is waiting to pick up son

Tried to explain to her that it doesn’t sound like Mr. Arora is violating PPO) she had made several complaints to get me arrested like hungry lines trying to hunt.

Andrew wanted me to take his custody so that he can be free from his mother’s interference. I wanted him to be occupied somewhere. He was not interest in school. Only way to get him to leave his friends was to occupy him. I got him a job with my cab co. at that time $4.25 was Minimum wages. Being without work permission they offered him 3.50 an hour in cash. He was taken to car body repair and painting shop. He was so happy, he liked the job. He was earning and learning. He goes to his mother and gives her good news. She cannot take such good news coming because of me. Since I took the custody, her goal was to cause obstruction in everything I do for my son. She tells him that how can they hire you. You don’t have work permission and on top of that they are paying you $3.50 an hour whereas us law requires employers to pay minimum wages of 4.25 an hour. She was going to report to Immigration. If she does, its $10,000 fine to hire illegal alien. I told him “you are there only to learn and not to earn. You got food, shelter, cigarettes, beer and this $3.50 an hour is only your pocket money. I have not asked you to pay me for anything. I don’t know what was going on in her mind, to put company out of business, to destroy her own son or put me down. Well she was able to put me down and take away job from her son. He goes and tells his colleague same sentence and it went to the owner of company. Same time he was sent home. Next day no work. He is back in the streets roaming aimless with same useless friends. By the time Angie was living with me. Angie informed me that he smokes marijuana in the car when I am gone. I can’t be babysitting all the times. I had to go to work also. He was 17 ½ by this time. I went and bought one non-working Buick Century car and told him “this is our project car. We will dismantle it and assemble it. By dismantling we will know as what is wrong.” He agreed. Under my supervision he dismantled and we found one piston had a hole in it. We bought whole gasket set, one piston and all the rings. Weeks passed by I asked him to assemble it. He refused to do so. On asking his reply was “after I assemble it, you are not going to give me this car, you will give it to Angie.” Does it take a rocket scientist to figure out as where this statement came from? Again to put me down and degrade me. She did not care about her son’s future. Her own ego was first. There had been number of incidents pushed by his mother to harass me. Now suddenly the caliber of harassment went up. I have to deal with him worse than her.

I assembled the car and got it started. His friend comes to buy the car. I named him the trial; he goes for test drive and says tomorrow he will bring the money. After midnight while I was at work, he steals the car. Police found it abandoned in a ditch. I did not recover. It was taken away by police. I have to cook for him as well as for myself. I clean the house, I go to work, I do the laundry, he does nothing just eats and watches TV when I’m there. Rest of time he is out with useless friends. I have told him again, if his friends go to jail, they will come home after the sentence but if he goes to jail, he is not coming home, he is going back to India. Now his demands went up and up. He wants me to buy him a car. I explained him; I don’t have that much money to buy you a car. Same time why do you need a car, you don’t go to school, you don’t go to work, you have no traveling requirements. “His answer was “all my friends have car. So I must should also have.” I said “we are immigrants and do not have permission to work but I am working to survive, your friends are born here and their parents are well established here.’ He said again to cox me for car, “you have taken my custody, I signed the affidavit. Now you must provide my every requirement.” I remembered his mother’s words when in Oman about taking responsibility blindly. I was sure it’s another attack from his mother.

My friends told me you have a woman living with you since last 3 months, why don’t you propose and get married. In this way you will have green card and a partner too. I gave a second thought if I was willing to get involve. This is the time she needed me and I needed her to adjust my status. If I marry it will be a real marriage and not contract.

Angie had been living with me from last 3 months before I took his custody. We went to her parents’ house in Ypsilanti Michigan with Andrew. I proposed the proposal was accepted. We returned and fixed the wedding date.

I wrote this letter to Andrew and Ruth before my marriage.

July 11 1994

Dear Andy & Ruth,

I had been waiting for your call all week long.

There are certain relationships in the life which cannot be broken.

The relationship of father and children is the first one. There is no law which can break this relationship. No one is perfect and everyone makes some mistakes somewhere. Only thing some people accept their mistakes and are sorry but on the other hand it is below their standard to say sorry. I am among the first one. During this long struggle of One year and nine months I know that you both were the most sufferers. Also, I was also helpless. I had to take some steps in order to save myself from trouble but it had the reaction to you both also, during this time 1 kept my visitation limited and with the result due to lack of communication our affection towards each other were destroyed. There is still time and we can restore the loss by coming forward in communicating with each other.

But the initiative has to come from you both under these circumstances.

Now my house looks more clean and organized because I have someone living with me. I do intend to get married to her very soon in near future. She is 24 years blond free from alcohol and drugs slim never married and have no children.

She loves to cook and is taking good care of me and my house.

Also she is black belt holder in judo karate. She is not

From Grand Rapids but from Ann Arbor have no relatives here.

Therefore I am planning a trip to Ann this week. I will not mind if both of you or one of you want to go with me to Ann Arbor. If I don’t hear from you I will understand that you are not able to come and I will plan try trip with her only.

Take time to write about yourself. And let me know about your objectives and goals of your life. I am sending two self ‘addressed covers for your convenience.

I love you both

Your Dad

Satish

Andrew had informed his mother and sister. Ruth wanted to come with us. Day before the wedding day, Ruth came to visit and expressed desire to go with us for wedding. They were still with Bill Mackey. I explained being custody matter the necessity to get mothers permission. She called mother and little while later my door was knocked by police. I saw several cops. Cop asked me, where is Ruth. I said she is watching TV in the living room. I asked “what is the matter sir?” he said “Norma complained that you are holding Ruth against her will. We would not care if Ruth was 18.” Immediately Norma walks in my house while I was talking to officer and brings Ruth out. I told Ruth now you will visit me when you are 18, I don’t want police at my door thinking I have kidnapped my children.

She left and next morning Andrew and I left for Ypsilanti. We had formal wedding with marriage celebrant. Then BBQ and returned to Grand Rapids.

Now I was legally divorced and legally re married. Now Angie can file sponsorship declaration (I130) After approval I can file for adjustment of status for myself and for my children. In a week I got the adjustment of status package from immigration. We finished the formalities our self and after 2 months we got approval letter. In the sponsorship I had to write details of my children, therefore children under 18 were automatically approved. Now I had to complete adjustment of status for both children and myself separately. I needed their passports for that. I told Angie to call Norma and tell her I need Ruth and Andrew “passports. Angie called and conveyed my message, but there was something else Norma was talking. Angie being hearing imperative, could not understand and gave me the phone. I spoke to her and said “me and children are approved by immigration sponsorship and are eligible to file adjustment of status. Please send Andrew’s and Ruth’s passports. Instead of complying by request she said “you give me the approval letter and I will file for them” my reply “I’m not going to give you my approval letter.” And I hung up.

By now Andrews troubles were going high and high. I noticed in his bedroom one flowerpot with lit table lamp looking at soil. A small sprout was coming up. I was wondering, he had never been interested in plants. This must be something special. I asked him “what is that in the flower pot” his reply “marijuana weed!” I was upset and told him “are you gone crazy, you are growing marijuana in the house. We both will be shipped out if discovered.” His argument was “so what everybody grows” I said no, it’s everybody who you know grows. It means you are not in good company.” I dumped flower pot outside and was thinking seriously. He has done so many things to harass me from instructions or advice from his mother. This also may be a plot to deport me. He is still minor, if discovered, he will walk away by denying and I being head of house will be arrested. Now I should get serious and watchful.

So far he was out with his friends and now he started bringing his friends in the house. I had no objection till the time my valuable things started disappearing. One day I noticed my electronic organizer disappeared. It contained all valuable data both business and personal. I explained to him now how much hardship I will have when information I want is missing. One who took it will have no use of it and will sell it for $10. One day I returned from work for dinner at 10 pm and he had about 20 friends both boys and girls in the house. Now stolen property started showing up in the house. I took a stand now and said enough is enough. I cannot take any more. If stolen property is caught in my house? I am the one to be deported. Once he gave shelter to a fugitive.

I spoke to him saying either he should stop his activities or leave the house. He refused to move or abide by my rules. There were arguments between us. Police was called and they told me that I cannot put him out because he lives here. He can pick up this TV and sell it. It’s not a crime. He lives here. Everything here belongs to him too. Now he got more courageous. He went to the couch put his feet on coffee table and said “see you cannot do anything to me. I can do whatever I want.” Now the relationship is on the urge to break. He is the ruler and I have to abide by his desires. Either it is competition or its war. Who will win? All I can do is to stop his allowance, which he does not need. Once he had told me, what I am making is slow money, he will make fast money. I told him “no matter how wise and big you become, I am still going to be your father”. If I can’t move him, I can move myself?

I spoke to my land lord and told him the script of drama I was about to play. Came home and told Angie, “Angie I have decided to move to other state. We both will go. Let’s start packing up.” We brought empty cartoons. She started packing up slowly. Land lord came over; I told him I am going to cut cable, gas and electricity. He said don’t cut gas and electric, because due to extreme winter, you need to run heat all the times otherwise water pipes will burst. So I called and cut the cable services. No TV from now on. Now Andrew got serious and asked if I will take him with me. My reply was negative. He called the police complaining his dad is not taking him with me. He was over 18 now. According law he is no more dependent. He is on his own. Same police showed up and explained to him that he can go where ever he wants, no one can stop him. if he is not taking you with him, it is up to him. We cannot tell him. Andrews question “I don’t have a place to live,” cop told him “we cannot do anything about. You can take over this house with the land lord consent and keep living, if land lord does not want to give you, we cannot tell him. You should have been abiding by the ruled of house and your dad. I told Andrew “I can move your belongings where ever you like. I can do that.” Andrew called mom and told me to get his belongings to his mother’s garage the one she had rented before moving in with me. I drove him there.

After few days my house was broken in. I am not concerned about material like TV VCR etc. I had my briefcase kept open on the bed. It contained only papers and my Indian Passport. i don’t understand why thieves will take that briefcase. When I called police, they noticed that the kitchen window was unlocked. Therefore there was no forced entry. I knew something is going to happen, I have put Andrew out and Angie is also put out and living with Norma. Therefore I had removed the computer to my friend’s house. It contained all my important information. Next morning Angie comes with police to pick up her belongings. There were nothing except her few cloths, she asked about computer. I said “I had broken in yesterday and everything is stolen”. She asked how my computer is stolen and nothing of your personnel belongings is stolen. I don’t know who stole but later on Angie told me that she had seen my passport with Norma. I cannot verify her statement.

On Dec 27 1994, as I was coming home, I saw my fellow cab driver pass me. We stopped and he asked me “where are you going?” I said “am going home for dinner. It was night 9 PM. I often went home around that time for dinner and returned back to work. He accepted my invitation. As two cars pulled up in the drive way, I and my friend Shaw saw Andrew and someone got out of hiding and ran away from back of house, jumped the fence and went to the street behind. My friend asked why is your son hiding in drives way and ran away as he saw you. I said don’t know. If he was here I would talk to him. Next morning I got a phone call from jail asking for Andrew, I said “he does not live here” then the caller said “Andrew was arrested last night for felonies assault with firearm. We have found 90 gemstones from his pocket.” I said “he is my son, he must have taken from my inventory” his reply “do you want to press charges” I said “no but I want my gemstones” he said you can come to jail and pick up your property. What was he doing on day like December 27th the coldest day with snow all around at 9 PM hiding in my drive way with gun in his pocket? I was supposed to come home alone but got a friend with him.

 

There can be nothing or there can be a dangerous plan. He was arrested just 2 streets behind my house. I went next day to Jail to pick up stones, at the same time I visited him. During the conversation I asked him “what were you doing in my drive way with gun at night”. He had not explanation.

I was hearing from friends and Ruth that I sent Andrew to jail. So I did not know how to make her understand as what really happened. Therefore I wrote this letter to Ruth.

My dearest Ruth,

It was real surprise to me when I got your message about your birthday.

All I can say at this time, our lives have taken dramatic turn. This is because of spirit of destruction, hate and revenge. No matter how hard I tried to look after you both, It was all in vain because of your changed attitude due to misrepresentation of everything. You are both adolescent and weather you accept or not, you cannot look through, every piece of i n for mat ion given to you,

I was surprised to hear that I called the cops on Andrew, sent him to jail and your Mom got him out! He went to jail because he picked a fight with somebody and took out a Gun. His charges are “felony and assault with fire Arm. I have nothing to do with it. The person who was threatened

With Gun, called the cops. I was not even around. I came to know next morning when I got a cal1 from Grand Rapids Police that he is arrested on above charges and they suspect him for robing the Gems on gun point. I told them, they are mine and was asked if I want to press the charges. 1 said NO, and I was told to come and pick up my Gems from Jail- I did so but they were not all I have lost.

I had to put him out of house because he refused to turn from his criminal way of living and would not leave his friends with criminal backgrounds. His friend stole my car, computer and several other things from house. They brought crack into the house, 1 found a crack pipe from his room being used; I found stolen goods from his room. On asking, he

Said, he broke into a car and brought it. He grew marijuana in his bedroom. On asking he said, so what, everybody grows it. My reply was everybody you know! Grows it. It means you don’ have the good company. He brought a new girl every other day and spent night in his bedroom. He insisted that I should buy him a car because I promised to take care of him. He demanded liquor and •cigarettes continually. He again got into trouble because of his friends by shoplifting at Value city against my wishes and advises.

On the other hand I got him a Job as apprentice in Yellow Cab Garage ‘ and was paid $ 3.SO an hour, was making over $125.00 a week in spite of being under age for employment, no work permission and inexperienced. He was setup by someone as he is being ripped off. Intention to setup was to destroy my efforts and burden me more with financial losses. He did not realize that he is being used and is destroying himself. Ho refused to go to school or participate with me, to whatever I was doing. I don’t think I need to mention about his way of living. You are well aware of it. He called the cops on me when 1 was putting him out

 

 

but they told him "You have broken all the bridges, better start making them- You are on your own since you are 17= 11 But he threatened me and said he will come back and get even with me. Next day at around 10 PM when I came home I had a friend with me. We saw Andy with 2 of his friends in front of my house, but when he saw my friend with me, He moved away. I wanted to call him and talk to him but he was gone far enough and I changed my mind and went inside. Same night he was arrested and I realized he was with a Gun waiting for me to come home alone.

Ruth4 You are my daughter and I always enjoyed your company. I always looked forward to see you. On Nov, 21, when you spent night at my place and were to go to Ann Arbor the next morning, I kept insisting that you should call your mom and let her know your whereabouts. You did try from time to time. In the morning at about 6:15 I told you to call your mom and let her know. You did so but what was the outcome of it? A complaint was made to GRR Police that I have kidnapped my daughter Ruth and 1m about to leave GRR. Cops showed up in no time. Couple of days later when you were at my place with big loads of Laundry, I came home at 10 pm and was trying to figure out the way to get you home. I could not do that because of Restraining Order. My friend was willing to take you right up to your doorstep. In this process a complaint was made to GRR Police that I am holding my daughter Ruth in my house against her will. Cops told me at that time that they will not respond to such complaints after you turn 17. That’s why 1 told you that you should visit me only after you are 17. I don’t want to be in trouble for nothing. I do my work and mind my own business; I got nothing to do with anybody. I am too busy in my life. I have no time for1 any such thing.

It is really sad that by the time you are 17, you have given birth to hate in your heart without realizing the truth If you have any information which leads you to hate someone, It is always good to confirm that information with the person directly and let the other person face it and give an account of what has been done or said, life is too short to love, I don't know how people get time to hate. Hate is cause of several diseases. When you hate someone, you destroy yourself. No one knows why you hate the person unless you open yourself and explain it. This is the cure of hate, If you want to wipeout the hate you must discuss. Keep your mind open. Minds are like parachutes- They only work when they are open. If they are not open you fall very badly and hurt yourself may be sometimes so bad that you will never be able to recover. Jesus said, you must know the truth and truth will set you free.

Ruth just think and let me know what have I done to you personally to hurt you. In my opinion and others who know me I have done a good job being a father to you under the circumstances created by? I may have a restraining order imposed by Judge without my request, I have never used it or made any complaint to police no matter what was done to me or Restraining Order was violated in any ways. I have never called the cops on anyone so -far except my cab -Fare problems- It hurts me to know that I have lost my daughter whom I am concerned for and greatly love. I have always done the best that I could -for my children but the man can only take so much and will not allow my children to walk all over me like it had been happening in the past.

About the statement you gave to the court that my wife Angie keeps calling -for you at the shelter saying you were supposed to meet her. You made no such arrangements and you don’t want to talk to her.

This is only one time when you called and asked about me but I was at work. She gave me the message and I was reluctant to call back because of legal complications. She called back and all she told me that you were not there. She tried few times to get hold of you that you can talk to me.

Then on my instructions she gave up. There had been no call ever since. It was only returning your call. If you feel that one “Returning of call” should impose a criminal restraining order on me and my wife and we deserve to go to jail –for talking to you. Well you have given a very good example of being my daughter. I will accept that and will not look forward of acknowledge that you are my daughter. Take my advice; learn to get out of dark, look at people with right

Attitude- No one is your enemy unless you make them. Learn to live in harmony and not in hate and anger. We all need each other sometime or other in our lives. It makes life so easy if we live in peace and abide by the truth.

I must end now as I have plenty to do. I am running short of time. I hope you will give a thought to this 1etter„

Your dad Satish

Only thing I heard from her was show cause notice from court which I already mentioned and she imposed a restraining order.

When Andrew went to jail I wrote

I wrote this when Andy went to jail explaining the circumstances “why Andy became criminal”

Unfortunately I had not enough time with my children since April 1992. Due to the great amount of disagreement I had to leave the house and go away to New Jersey. On my return I was hospitalized to Kent Oaks as major depression case. On discharged from Kent Oak’s I was made to stay in the Guiding Light Mission and when she move to 754 Richmond, I could stay there only for two days and had to move out to rest area. After my paycheck I rented a room at 35 Veto Seward where I filed my first divorce. I moved to 616 Veto across street from 35 Seward in Feb 1993. Andy use to visit me and one day she got hold of my house keys from him and she started visiting and impressed the zeal of reconciliation. Same time she was in possession of eviction notice from landlord and court. She and kids moved with me on March 1, 1993 and convinced me to call off the divorce. Divorce was called off on March 27th and March 28th I was charged criminally by her. I had no contact bond and in spite of that I stayed at my Marital Home. I was under great tension and always concerned as how to deal with her and my criminal case. Also was afraid as which moment 1 will be going to jail for violation of no contact bond. Therefore I had no pleasant time with my children. Finally on May 10th I attempted suicide due to excessive manipulation, terrorizing behavior and fraudulent activities. Immediately after hospital I came home on ’Friday and on Monday was arrested for violation of bond which was reported by her. After my return I did not feel it was right for me to go back to 6 16 Veto. In the mean while I asked tool box from my son and he gave me .I didn’t know what happened with Andy and Norma but on May 14th she reported my visitation and an arrested warrant was issued. I was in contact and my motto for contact was to know if there was possibility of reconciliation. On May 17th 1994 Andy was used to get me arrested for violation of bond. I asked him at Hall Of Justice” What did you do for me, anything good or bad for me ‘his reply was “it’s none of your business to Know what we about you”. Five minutes later I was arrested and was sent to Cass County Jail for 10 days. She promised him her car and she took my car. He was happy and he did not want my return because he may lose his car. They could not afford gas; on my return he asked me gas money. I refused and had a tough confrontation. I said” If I hang up around you people, I’1 1 be going to jail ail my life”. His answer was “You are getting what you deserve”. My answer was “From now on you’ll get. What you deserve from ne. I am ashamed of you to call you my son, I would not have done to my father what you did to me”, His reply was “1 told the truth and I am ashamed of you11. My reply was “The truth, that. I was taking care of you all in spite of being in danger of getting arrested and going to jail! I did not quarrel, fight, or abuse any one. 1 knows so many truths about you all, 1 don’t go and tell the police. It’s not in my blood and now I’m beginning to doubt that you are my son. Get out of my face and I don’t want to see you”. I kept him in suspense for few days and then I called him and gave him his allowance. After his car broke down his mom started using him as chauffeur. By this time he was so dependent on wheels that he could not. Live without wheels. He started using mom’s car which was mine, for his

Personal purposes also i.e. taking friends around ate. In the mean time she financed the truck and traded the car. It was manual so it was hard for her to manage and she was dependent on him for driving. He had always seen dad driving and when he sat on wheel he felt proud and his attitude changed. She could not manage that and she took away wheels from him. He felt fallen from sky. He wanted to get hold of wheels and he used his Juvenile skills. She had hard time controlling him and called police several times on him. He often disappeared for days and anytime he did, she reported him runaway. He was completely out of hands and her way to deal with him was through police. Meanwhile he was looking forward toward to buy his own car for that he needed money. His friends taught him how to get fast cash without working. That’s the time she seeked (sought) my help and I was surprised to see him gone so far away. He was in drugs, alcohol and every ether thing which is not sensible to mention. He used to wa1karound with hundreds of dollars in his pocket. One day when he returned from K-mart she asked him "How much poorer K- mart is today". His reply was "$60.00 and he showed her a Walkman". I was surprised and could not understand as how to deal with both. So I had to leave them to themselves. Meanwhile she brought a cavalier station wagon for him from bank auction. He broke the CB joint and I

•heiped him to fix it. Few days later water pump and clutch was broken and it was not possible for her to fix it. Same time she argued with me and told me not to have any contact with her and I left them to themselves. Somehow he managed to get a car of his friend. He took out his plate number from his car and drove off. She reported plate number stolen. Little while later he was held up but was charged for improper plate, and No Registration and No Insurance. Since he was a juvenile he could get away. Then he became seventeen and he came to me to trade few things for money to buy a car. I asked him “why do you need a car, you are not going to work”. His answer was “I need a car, I can’t live without car”. 1 said when you took away all my vehicles I managed 3 months without car and 1 had to go to work also”. I refused to cooperate for purchase of car. Somehow he managed to buy a car and few days later he came to me with car and his friend Tony. He said he is in trouble i.e. he brought a CB for $30.00 and ho sold it for $70.00 that person sold it for 100.00. The profit he invested in “his car. The person who brought for $100.00 found out that it was stolen and now the person who brought $70.00 demands money with in one half hour otherwise he will turn it to cops. I said you both brought it together, so why Tony’s dad can’t pay. His reply was “we have 30 minutes time and his dad is not at home”. I cross-questioned several times but nothing cane out but frustration of Andy. In return he said I’ll go to jail if you don’t want to help me. I called Norma and told our son has done something that he may

•go to jail. What can we do about it? Her reply was “Do you have his ticket money ready?” I said I have ticket money ready for you; you are the one who wants to send everyone to India, if you go away all the problems will be solved. I had no other way but to save my son from trouble. It seemed possible by spending some money. So I gave $60.00 and

Accompanied him to Ugeane’s house. I was told to wait out while he went in to pay and get CB back. When he returned I noticed he did not have CB with him and he said they will bring it. It’s kept somewhere else. 1 told my son that he is taken for a ride. Few days later I met Andy and he said that CB was turned in and detective came to his school for investigation. He doesn’t know as what is going happen. I told him that he must name the person he brought it from. He said he doesn’t know him and he brought it from street. Few days later I got a call from Norma saying, Andy is missing and cops are looking out for him. Tony got him into trouble. Tony got away being juvenile but Andy being 17 got into trouble. I had long conversation about how to solve the matter her aim was how to fix Tony and my aim was how to get Andy cut of trouble. Finally we both agreed that I should record Tony’s confession since he was in talking terms with me. Next day I took Tony in my cab and recorded his confession while driving. When 1 reviewed it I found it made no sense to put it forward because all the blames were on Andy. I told her it is not worth and use it against me then she said “Now I am going to complain to police that you were holding the information when Andy first spoke to you”. My reply was it is also in the confession that they told me lies. Also there was a great deal of accusations on me for encouraging him to do such things. As usual routine check 1 called Norma and Ruth picked up the phone and on asking “Where is Andy Her reply was “in jail”. I immediately called jail and found cut that he will be a arraigned tomorrow on TV at 9:00 AM.

I went to Hail of Justice at 9:00 and saw Norma also there. Norma requested Judge to say something and was granted the permission. She told judge to put this condition in the bond that “He should not contact his Father” and Judge said “ I can’t do that.”. The bond was self-recognition on $3,500 with conditions

1. Curfew after 7 PM.

2. No alcohol or drugs

3. No contact with Tony and two friends

4. Obey his mother. She signed his bond since they are in her custody.

Andy use to call me every day because he had to observe the Curfew 7 P, M. and had nothing to do. She had no time from her man since they were newly in love. Several times Andy told me at 12 midnight that, his mom is gone with her friend to spend the night. Few times he was with me after 7 PM. and I made him to call l his mcm a n d inform. He enjoyed my company. 1 b r o u q h t a p r o j e c t car spare parts worth $400.00 for him to occupy himself in his project. The car was half way and she did not like what was going on. So she started to use bond condition “Obey his mother” and said “if you talk or visit your dad it will be disobedience and 1 will send you to jail”. Andy did not know what to do but still he kept “calling and coming over quietly. Her threats became stronger and stronger. He became reluctant to visit or call anymore. He had to make use of his time somewhere. So he went back to his old house routine turning up after midnight or being missing for weekends. Whenever I questioned about Andy, she thought I was interfering in her personal life between her and her man.

and threatened to call cops on me. She moved in his house just before Father’s Day and I was talking to my daughter Ruth about Father’s Day visitation, her man grabbed the phone from my daughter and yelled at me saying “I’ll kick your ass” several times. I kept on saying “1 don’t need your woman, all I need is my children visitation”. But he paid no attention and I hung up. I called again Norma picked up the phone and I told her to tell your man that He doesn’t have to be insecure about his woman. 1 cannot take her, just tell him now only and I heard from other line yes I am listen.

Next day for Father’s Day they showed up at 2PM. at Big Boy Pearl St. and I suggested that 1 would like to have time with my children in the museum park and they both can be around. But her

Reply was no

Now she is charging him. Here her another trick is played well but she never thinks of reaction of her actions. She has a phone at home. But she goes to Hispanic center pay phone to call police and states that bill is holding her in the house as hostage. Charges are filed as “(CSC 1st degree) criminal sexual conduct 1st degree.

He is looking for 10 to 20 years imprisonment if proved. But she does not want to send him to jail her aim is temporary. In USA if a person is danger to society or himself, he is picked up immediately so that he does not cause any more harm. By now she is also getting experienced in how to get benefits.

She accuses me to be his friend. It never happened. Why should I even talk to this person who told me “I will kick your ass” on the phone and in restaurant parking lot for my children visitation.

She chose the day Friday so that if he gets locked up, he will be there at least till Monday and may come out on bond. After he comes out on bond, he will be on restraining order to protect victim and cannot come to his own house. This is a major case and may take year to settle. You can see on police report, place of work is blank. It means she was not working. So how she was surviving? Food from church handouts, Salvation Army for clothes and other necessities and no one for rent. Now she got free rent too.

On Saturday and Sunday she hung a sign “moving sale” and sold his belongings whatever possible and unwanted for her. Now she got cash also.

Bill came out on Monday on $10,000 bond with restraining order in hand prohibiting him to keep 500 yards away from his house. One secret he did not tell her. His house is not fully paid up. It is on Land Contract. Means land lord sells the property to individual who is not able to acquire mortgage due to any reason. So it is sold on rent purchase bases. Conditions are same, if rent is not paid; he sends the eviction notice and all past payments are gone. Bill went to his land contract lord and explained the situation. Landlord worked out a deal and bought the house back from him.

In two weeks new landlord showed up with police to vacate the property. She had nowhere to go so she went to homeless shelter. On Aug 8th 1994 I wrote this letter to case worker. I had no knowledge of it till the time Bill came to my house; I was sitting with my cab driver friends and said “you know she sent me to jail.” I said I had told you that your ass is going to be kicked very soon. This is what I meant. Then I remembered Ruth my daughter came all of sudden to my house. She was watching TV but would not speak anything. I knew their brains had been washed. I did not want to enquire unless she tells me voluntarily. She was calling somewhere again and again. Finally she got one phone call and she left.

Investigators found that her complaint was unfounded and dropped the charges. He lost big in this deal with her.

=.
=.
=.
=.

table=. =. |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. 3 |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. 02/22/1996 |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. 2nd amended extension of personal protection order filed. (ex parte) against William Mackey, Jr.

|

After the charges were dropped, she went to her favorite restraining dept. in Grand Rapids after OJ Simpson case; they had established a new cell called PPO. (Personnel protection order). I t was free service of women asking for protection from threats from other people. They were all ex parte. Means they don’t verify if her claim to ask is true or not. Now this is used by her to harass other party. She also writes on one website

Finally Andrew goes for 5 years of prison. He called me from Ionia prison. I went there and saw him. He needed $50 to be deposited in his prison account. And he had a list of clothes he needs in prison for jogging and towels etc. they have to be new with department store tags on them a money order etc. he was to be shifted to prison facility in north Michigan about 400 miles away around Marquette. I got home and bought all he needed. Got a money order and planned to visit him with his needs. I called prison to find out visiting hours and days. They said you can only visit if you are in the list of visitors. He asked me my name and said your name is not there. He has given his mother, sister and one other name. so I was disappointed and wrote this letter.

My Dear Andrew,

feb 2o, 1996

After I got your collect call, 1 planned to take few clothes and a money order and drive down to your place and pay a personnel visit and hand ever everything directly to you. Therefore I called the prison and learned that you are net interested to have me as visitor. All I could find out was that you have given three names for visitation. Your mother, sister and one friend.

Well now you may say that you forgot to give my name. you can understand how easy it is to forget your own father in this foreign land who tried his best to avoid you going to your present place. 1 do agree that my rules were strict. But you can see that till today 1 am living by those strict rules. Those rules were not made for you only but every one including me and my friends who visited me. If I found out that those rules were not observed by my friends, well I broke the friendship, it is better to lose a friend who can put you in trouble than to get in to trouble with the law.

I have no phone and am surviving on my cellular phone. You can write to me on my PO Box address and I will be most, willing to offer you the support and advice. I may go to India

shortly and am not sure If 1 will return. You got into trouble and lost few days of your life but 1 did not do anything wrong, still I lost my 17 years of Marriage, My only Son, My only Daughter my carrier, my savings, my plans for future, I am 45 and when I look back what did 1 achieve in my life? Nothing. Tension , Mysteries , Nightmares ,harassments , restraining orders, Jails courts, police stations, attorneys, mental hospital, shelter living, etc. I must end now. Write to me soon with cool mind.

Your dad

Satish

 

In year 2000 he filed a petition to overturn his sentence but it was denied.

MICHIGAN

 

[_ COURT OF APPEALS_]

 

PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF MICHIGAN, UNPUBLISHED

 

v No. 213460

 

ANDREW AVINASH ARORA, LC No. 97-008530-FC

Before: Markey, P.J., and Murphy and R. B. Burns*, JJ.

 

PER CURIAM.

 

Defendant Andrew Avinash Arora was convicted by a jury of unarmed robbery, MCL

750.530; MSA 28.798. He was sentenced, as an habitual felony offender subject to MCL 769.11;

MSA 28.1083, to a prison term of five to thirty years. Defendant appeals as of right, claiming that the

actions of the prosecutor and his attorney at trial denied him a fair trial and warrant reversal of his

conviction. We affirm.

This case arises from the events of May 17, 1997. On that date, defendant and Raymond

Jordon went to a house where three brothers, Joshua Zeits (Josh), Aaron Leahy, and James Zeits

, were home watching television. Defendant and Ray knocked on the door and were let into the

house. The two inquired into trading an amplifier for a car stereo they understood that James had for

sale. James produced the car stereo for the two and allowed defendant and Ray to look at and hold it.

Defendant and Ray then walked out the door with the car stereo, without permission. James followed

them out, whereupon a fight broke out between James and defendant. They were soon joined by Ray

and three other young men who were waiting outside for defendant and Ray. One of the five young

men who went to the Zeits’ residence threw a brick into the house, striking Josh on the ankle. The

young men outside then ran down the street. The police eventually arrested all five of the young men,

including defendant, who came to the Zeits’ house that evening.

Defendant first argues that the prosecutor acted improperly by arguing to the jurors that it was

their duty to convict defendant and by eliciting from a police detective his opinion as to defendant’s guilt.

 

* Former Court of Appeals judge, sitting on the Court of Appeals by assignment.

February 25, 2000

Plaintiff-Appellee,

Kent Circuit Court

 

Defendant-Appellant.

 

 

 

-1

 

We disagree. At trial defendant failed to object to these alleged instances of misconduct. Appellate

review of allegedly improper prosecutorial conduct is precluded if the defendant fails to timely and specifically object unless a curative instruction could not have eliminated the prejudicial effect or a failure

to review the issue would result in a miscarriage of justice. People v Stanaway, 446 Mich 643, 687;

521 NW2d 557 (1994).

Defendant contends that the prosecutor’s following statement, made during her closing

argument, denied him a fair trial:

You need to find him responsible for what he did because not only did

he do it, but when you send that message you’re telling kids like Joshua, . . . [and] Aaron Zeits . . . and kids maybe like these other two who supposedly didn’t, you know, actually do anything really except be with the defendants like this Geraldo who’s like 13 or so and this Carl, this other kid, is to tell those people too that, you know, that’s not the way

you resolve things in this world. . . . The way you do it is to do what James Zeits and his family did. . . . they want to do it the right way or their mother wants them to do it the right way. And you need to find him [the defendant] responsible for what he did to tell these people, yeah, the system works. This is the way it works. You don’t get away with stuff like this and maybe these 13 year olds and these 15 year olds are salvageable, you know, if they see that

you can’t get away with this stuff. But if you don’t hold him

responsible for what he did because you don’t think it’s all the

 

[sic] important of a case or these people aren’t really worthy of your time or belief, then you’re sending him a message that – and these other kids, because they know what happens, they see him, if he gets off they’d see him, hey, this is the way to do it. You can beat it. . . . and all that tells people like him and like these other kids is to keep doing it. [Emphasis added by defendant.]

Following that last sentence above, the prosecutor concluded her closing argument by stating: “Find

him responsible for unarmed robbery because that’s what he did.”

Civic duty” arguments to the jury are improper as they divert jurors from the real issues of guilt

and innocence. People v Biondo, 76 Mich App 155, 158-159; 256 NW2d 60 (1977); People v

Meir, 67 Mich App 534, 537-538; 241 NW2d 280 (1976). While the prosecutor’s remarks arguably

violate the prohibition against making such civic duty comments, their prejudicial effect could have been

cured by objection and instruction. Stanaway, supra. Further, defendant has not shown, and the

evidence does not indicate, that substantial injustice would result if his conviction were not overturned

because of the prosecutor’s closing remarks. Id. We find no error mandating reversal.

Defendant’s second disagreement with the prosecutor’s conduct at trial revolves around the

following testimony of a police detective, elicited on redirect:

-2

 

Q. Detective, you were just asked whether or not you supply the warrant because you

 

just have the evidence. Based on your investigation, did your investigation reveal to

you that there had been a crime committed?

A. Yes.

Q. And at that time involved a robbery?

A. An armed robbery.

Q. Because in your mind the bricks were a weapon?

A. It’s a dangerous weapon.

Q. Okay. And based on your investigation you came to the Prosecutor’s Office to ask

for a warrant on [defendant]?

A. Yes.

Q. Based on your investigation?

A. Yes.

Q. Are you required to come to us and ask for a warrant on every crime that you

investigate?

A. Yes.

Q. And would you come to us and ask for a warrant on him if you didn’t have the

evidence to support it?

A. No.

Defendant characterizes the detective’s testimony as rendering an opinion as to the guilt of defendant.

Whether a defendant is guilty is for the jury to decide and not a valid question for a witness. People v

Suchy, 143 Mich App 136, 148-149; 371 NW2d 502 (1985). Although in the above exchange the

prosecutor did not elicit and the detective did not volunteer a bald opinion as to defendant’s guilt, the

detective’s belief that defendant committed a crime can be easily deduced.

The prosecutor elicited the above redirect testimony in response to the following exchange on

 

cross-examination:

Q. Okay. Office [sic] Doyle, basically you as a detective have a duty to take reports

from people and investigate, find out if there’s something to support their story and

if you believe that there’s something to support the story then you take the case to

the prosecutor for review, is that correct?

3

 

A. Correct.

 

Q. Okay. You in fact don’t make determinations whether or not a crime took place.

 

It’s your duty [to] investigate evidence and bring forth pieces of information that you

find?

A. Right.

Q. Okay. And that’s basically what you did in this case?

A. Right. Well, I believed a crime took place that’s why I took it to the Prosecutor’s

Office.

Q. That’s why you – - okay. You believed that you had enough evidence to support

your belief that a crime took place.

A. Yes.

Otherwise improper prosecutorial remarks might not require reversal if they address issues raised by

defense counsel. People v Duncan, 402 Mich 1, 16; 260 NW2d 58 (1977); People v Simon, 174

Mich App 649, 655; 436 NW2d 695 (1989). As evidenced by the testimony above, the questions

asked by the prosecutor and objected to by defendant on appeal were first asked by defense counsel.

The testimony of the detective on redirect in this case, occurring after defense counsel’s cross

examination covering the same territory, did not deny defendant a fair trial.

Defendant next argues that his counsel was ineffective at trial by presenting inconsistent theories

and failing to object to prejudicial inadmissible opinion testimony given by the police detective on cross

examination. We again disagree. Allegations pertaining to ineffective assistance of counsel must first be

heard by the trial court to establish a record of the facts pertaining to such allegations. People v

Ginther, 390 Mich 436, 443; 212 NW2d 922 (1973). In cases such as this, where a Ginther hearing

has not been held, review by this Court is limited to mistakes apparent on the record. People v Price,

214 Mich App 538, 547; 543 NW2d 49 (1995). To establish that the defendant’s right to effective

assistance of counsel was so undermined that it justifies reversal of an otherwise valid conviction, this

Court must find that counsel’s representation fell below an objective standard of reasonableness and

that the representation so prejudiced the defendant as to deny him a fair trial. People v Pickens, 446

Mich 298, 338; 521 NW2d 797 (1994). Effective assistance of counsel is presumed, and the

defendant bears a heavy burden of proving otherwise. Stanaway, supra at 687.

Defendant notes that in his opening statement defense counsel told the jury that a witness would

testify that defendant was not present at the Zeits’ house the evening in question. As further noted by

defendant, defense counsel proceeded to question Josh and James about whether they clearly

remembered defendant and about why they did not mention his presence to the police on the evening of

the incident. Defendant contends that from defense counsel’s opening statement, and from his cross

examination attempts to impeach the testimony of prosecution witnesses, it appeared that the defense

theory was that defendant was not present when the crime was committed. Defense counsel, however,

both during direct examination of a defense witness and in his closing argument, either stated or implied

that defendant was at the victims’ house that evening. Defendant argues that in failing to consistently

focus on the theory that defendant was not present at the time of the crime, defense counsel rendered

ineffective assistance.

This Court will not substitute its judgment for that of counsel regarding matters of trial strategy,

nor will it assess counsel’s competence with the benefit of hindsight. People v Rice (On Remand), 235

Mich App 429, 445; 597 NW2d 843 (1999). Decisions as to what evidence to present and whether

to call or question witnesses are presumed to be matters of trial strategy. People v Mitchell, 454 Mich

145, 163; 560 NW2d 600 (1997); People v Rockey, 237 Mich App 74, 76; 601 NW2d 887 (1999).

If, as he noted in his opening statement, defense counsel at the very start of the trial hoped to shothat

 

defendant was not present that evening, testimony from the prosecution witnesses soon made clear how

 

difficult that theory would be to prove. Defense counsel’s decision to discontinue pursuit of the theory

that defendant was not present that night was accordingly a strategic decision. We find no error.

Defendant’s final argument claims error in defense counsel’s failure to object at the conclusion

of the above referenced cross-examination exchange between defense counsel and the detective. In that exchange defense counsel asked the detective whether, during the course of an investigation, he forms a belief as to whether a crime took place. Contrary to defendant’s appellate argument, the detective did not specifically offer an opinion as to the guilt of defendant. To the extent the detective’s remarks may have implied a belief in defendant’s guilt, defense counsel may have chosen not to object

for strategic reasons. Without a Ginther hearing, however, this Court cannot know what defense

counsel was thinking. Because we find no mistake apparent on the record, Price, supra at 547,

defendant’s final claim of error also fails.

Affirmed.

 

/s/ Jane E. Markey

 

/s/ William B. Murphy

 

/s/ Robert B. Burns

 

Angela Nicole Dawn Taylor

This is a special character in my life. After getting married I realized why all women’s shelters put her out and did now want to take her in. soon after the wedding we wanted to get into marital relationship. I noticed her disinterest in relationship. All day she will work with me shoulder to shoulder. Once we were going to Chicago in the night. She was driving. I had Chevy caprice car. I was sitting and passed off. Suddenly I got up with the loud sound. She told me “go back to sleep. It is flat tire” she went out, took jack lifted car and changed the tire. She was back driving. She was good at house work neat and clean. I said I will have to manage her company rather than relationship. She had immature mind. She was few years back in her mental maturity. Therefore she did not understand jokes. She took every conversation seriously. We enjoyed few months and there was a turn. Our sponsorship was already approved. She had gone and told her friends.

Since I had restraining order Angie uses to call Norma house to talk to Ruth for visitation arrangement. Norma as guardian applied for restraining order from Ruth on Angie.

Norma had filed restraining order against Angie on 01/03/95 had contested. It was denied.

Ruth restraining order against Angie 1 /9/ 95. It was also denied.

We went to judge and judge told her “there is nothing wrong with step mother calling step mother for any reason unless it is for argument or fight. And restraining order was denied.

She often disappeared for nights parties. I had to manage and survive. One occasion we rented a car and went to see her mother in Ypsilanti. We had nice outing and returned next day. It was 8 pm; I went to sleep as next day I had to return car and go to work. I got up in the morning and saw Angie and car both missing. It was at 12 pm she came without car. She told me the car was stolen. I said never mind we will make a report and insurance will cover it. I called rental car co. and informed, they said she already came here with police report and told us that car is taken by her friend. There was no straight answer from her. Sometimes something and sometimes something. After one week I went to police station and got report upgraded to stolen. Same time car rental co. wants to settle with the cost of car. To my good luck one day I went to Meijer’s to pick up customer and saw the car in the parking lot. I called police and they revived report. After some time a woman walks to car to open and police asked her the car papers, she said it was given to her by a friend to use it. I got car recovered. She had women friends infected with drugs. When we returned from trip, she wanted to show off her car to friends. She was at their house and one of them told her to give car keys to other woman to get some food from shop. That woman never returned. They knew sponsorship story and now they all were on spree on my expense. I paid $1800 for car to rental car co.

Another time she came home and said all her money is gone from her account. Her ATM card is stolen. Again I said ok we will make a complaint and bank will release picture of person withdrawing. She came, we made a complaint and were told to come next week to identify. We went next week and they were Angie’s pictures.

I had filed for adjustment of status alone. Andrew had been out of house; Ruth’s passport was not given to me. I was without passport. It was stolen. I had the immigration date coming very soon. Looking at her behavior, I was advised to get an attorney for interview. I retained an immigration attorney in Detroit for $1000 to represent in interview. I took her with me to see him face to face. She was not aware as why we are going. While she was waiting in lounge, I went in and asked if he could interview her the way immigration interviews the candidate. I came out and asked her to come in.

Attorney: Are you married to Satish Arora

Angie: yes

Attorney: how long and other general questions as routine immigration ask. Then he asked: “do you have sex with him”

Angie: “Actually I don’t like to have sex with men.

Attorney: “then why are you married to him”

Angie: “Because he got comfort. House, food and money.”

Attorney told me he does not want $1000 and refused to take case. I drove home. on the way I asked her as why she does not like men. She told me her story about her father spent 3 year in jail for raping her. This is her step mom. After rape she lived in foster home. When she returned to see family her brother Patrick raped her. [+ He is serving 20 years prison on other rape charges.+] I was beginning to understand her nature. She turned lesbian due to rape by own family.

Now her harassments were going to climax. I had to deal with her like a teenager. She was 30 year old. She often asked me for car. I did not know where she goes and what she does. Being lesbian nature I had to tolerate her behavior. Lesbians are good to live with as friends but there is no opposite sex attractions. She was like another room mate contributed in house work and other things. She disappeared often and came back tired and late. Once she disappeared and I could not get a clue as where went? I get a miss call from her mother’s phone. I called back and was told by her mother to give her a car. I don’t know where she goes what she does and I must give her a car. I had one old car needing little repair. I fixed it and gave her the car.

Later on I got a phone call from one of my friends, she told me that Angie called but it was Norma’s name on caller ID. I knew why was behind that car. It was Norma trying to run me dry again. She had told Angie to get car from me and finally they both went to Ypsilanti to see her step mother personally. They charted a plan to extract whatever they can and then if they charge me for something serious, I will be picked up immediately and be sent to jail. In that case Angie being my legal wife can enter my premises and empty the house.

I am in big mess. She had been spending time with Norma. I knew I can expect worse from now. But I was not aware of their plan.

Norma had been out of shelter by now. I was in lookout for her. When she returned, I asked her the car key. I had given her the car to move around for job. She refused. I pocked the screw driver in tire. She opened the trunk to get spare tire. I flattened the other tire. She started hitting me. My friend was around with me. He called the police and when police came she was still hitting me. She was arrested and taken to jail. She was released on no contact bond next day. She went to live with Norma. She was living with Norma and Ruth before too.

Norma had her hands on golden duck. First she asked her about immigration. Angie said that they had been for interview. Angie was not aware it was attorney and not Immigration department. Then she prepared Ruth’s adjustment of status application and submitted personally to Detroit immigration office. They looked in record that I was given an interview date. So without informing them about my interview they gave them the same interview date. May 14, 1996.

Here the situation does not look pretty. Marriage is definitely going to break and divorce will be filed very soon. There is no sense to try anything else.

I got a restarting order from Angie on February 96 with my address written as her address. In restraining order I was prohibited to enter my own house being her mentioned address. Complication was such. I lock the house and stay somewhere else. Angie is also prohibited to enter said property due to restraining order from me because assault charges on her. But if I am at home, they can call police and get me arrested. Or if I am living somewhere else, they can break the door and steal everything. It is legal. Angie is my wife and she can take whatever she wants. It was such tough situation, they both now would not let me live in peace. Norma was only after material as usual.

I spoke to land lord and he put a “FOR RENT” sign on the window. Now they cannot break in. Next day I filed a motion in the court contesting this restraining order. It was 3 weeks by the time we get to see judge. My land lord also came to the court. We explained the judge about the situation; he was upset and shouted at them to leave the court room. Norma left with them shouting “he was still living in the house”. Judge says “where would he go, that is his house.” This plan was not successful. She never accepted defeat when she wants to destroy any one. I had to be ready for another attack.

Then I get summons to appear in court for violation of my restraining order.

On the day of hearing Ruth Angela and Norma went to witness stand First Norma came on the witness stand. My attorney asked her : “so you are Angela Satish’s first wife.” On this Norma’s response “No I am Norma Satish’s ex-wife. Angela is his present wife.” Me attorney OK you are ex-wife and your name is Angela” Then Norma explained Satish was married to me and we just divorced a year ago and his present wife is sitting with my daughter Ruth, “ my attorney says “I know that.” He wanted to show court that these three women are after my client. Then Ruth testified that I had called her 3 times. Judge raised his voice and said, what is wrong if father calls daughter. It is his duty to keep in touch with children. There is no restring order from you. Now Ruth takes a restraining order already came prepared in pocket and hands it to judge. Judge looks at it and with the surprise asks “do you want me to sign this” she says yes and he gets upsets and signs by saying, you can do what you want. Court clerk gives me the order and I crumbled it in my hand. Before order was signed I had decided I will not talk to her anymore. There had been another success for Norma and defeat for me. Actually they had a plan for me to stop coming to immigration office on the day of interview. There was little hope to get communication started with her and now that is also on the dead end.

. Angie was not that smart. That’s why she took advantage of her and started to use her to destroy me. Since Angie was hearing imperative, she was on social security benefit and was authorize to get subsidized housing. Norma ran around and got her the HUD housing and went to stay with her for free. Angie use to go to Hearing imperative school to learn sign language. That’s where she met Almanza.

Almanza was 65 at that time with social security disability benefits. He was deaf, dumb and on the wheel chair. I had her sister Connie visit me and told me that they asked Norma as why she married secretly in the court without letting us know. Norma’s replied while tears in her eyes that: “she has passion for him and wants to serve him all his life. “ Connie was very upset. I could not do or help. I was myself in mess. Because sister was trying to take care of brother, she tried to put Personal Protection Order against her.it was denied. Angie use to visit me after all that, I use to talk and she told me all about marriage arrangement and her service to him. She used his handicap van with handicap sticker, lived with Angie in HUD housing for free, had food packets delivered and free parking. Life was getting great. She had taken over from care giver to manage his finances and made his bank account as joint account. Very legally and officially she withdrew substantial amount of cash. Exact figure is with Connie.

table=. =. |=\3.
p<>{color:#333;}. Case # 98-01956-PH | =. |=\3.
p<>{color:#333;}. File Date: 02/24/1998 | =. |=\3.
p<>{color:#333;}. ARORA-ALMANZA, NORMA vs. VIGIL, CONNIE | =. |=\3.
p<>{color:#333;}. ARORA-ALMANZA, NORMAPETITIONER | =. |=\3.
p<>{color:#333;}. Other Parties: VIGIL, CONNIERESPONDENT | =. |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. 1 |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. 02/27/1998 |=.
p<>{color:#333;}. Personal protection order ( DENIED by Judge Leiber ) and case is closed filed.

|

.

Restraining orders had been her favorite. Its free and no one can ask you the account after you harm someone.

Immigration date was coming close. Now I get a restraining order from Angie also. My situation was if I had to go for interview, where would I go? Before interview I would go to jail on three counts. 1 Norma restraining order 2 Ruth restraining order and 3rd Angie restraining order all ex parte. But I had already called off my application and I had received the confirmation of withdrawal reply. Now I was officially illegal in US and my deportation proceedings would start any time. This is what happens with lack of communication. If she had not to create the problem and gave me her passport, I would have gone with Ruth for interview. On one side she wants to destroy and deport me on other side she wants her bread to be butter. I’m not sure what happened on interview but I saw the reaction immediately. Ruth and Angie withdrew their restraining order on the same date. But the statement to withdraw restraining order was identical. It means it was written by Norma and signed by Angie and Ruth. They both declared me a mental person. Ruth dated her statement as 14 mar 96 instead of 14 may. Angie told me that they asked “where is your father” their reply was “I have restraining order on him” Immigration was not happy and told them to leave.

From Ruth Arora

To whomsoever this may concern:

This is to state that from past experience I have seen Satish get very aggitated and revengful if challenged. I would like to think that this is due to his manic depressive condition which he has refused to adress. This is to state that I wish to withdraw the restraining order which I have on my husband Satish Chander Arora with a immidiate effect as possible.

In the mean time I would like to extend my thanks to the court for trying to reconcile our family.

sincere appreciation. I remain,

From Angela Arora

To whomsoever this may concern:

This is to state that from past experience I have seen ray father get very aggitated and revengful if challenged. I would like to think that this is due to his manic depressive condition which he has refused to adress. After the hearing on 5/10/96 I have got the impression that getting the kind of information or situation of beyond a reasonable doubt” for the court to ‘catch him in the act and bring him to justice is going to take more cunning than I have, I also would not like to bare my emotions in open court as I am a very private person, however I am hoping that my father realised the emotional turmoil he is putting me in and will quit trying to contact me against my will. A restraining order is not in keeping with my (Indian) culture and my brother and mother are currently having to deal with the consequences of their initial move for freedom and protection from the law in march of 1993. My father has an elephant’s memory and does not forgive or forget easily. This is the reason I had to finally stop visiting him because he used to have open court in his home whenever my brother and I visited him and would brainwash us into listening to his recount of his struggle with my mother’s ‘non coperacior.’ . This used to frustrate us and end the visits in a lot of guilt and blamethrowing which I would much sooner avoid.

This is to state that I wish to withdraw the restraining order which I have on ray father Satish Chander Arora with as immidiate effect as possible.

In the mean time I would like to extend my thanks to the court for trying to reconcile our family.

With sincere appreciation, I remain,

They were bitter. They did not know what I did but they had no information from immigration office the reason they were turned down except that your sponsorship is not valid. Now Norma had to hit two birds with one stone. Green card is out of question because I did something so let us destroy him by charging him with Rape charge. If I am charged with rape like crime, I will be arrested immediately. This is the law that if someone is danger to himself or community, has to be off the street right away. Under present circumstances Angie cannot come to where I live or come where ever I am. They chose the date very carefully. I use to work every night every day. I rarely took off. There was nothing at home to do, wife is lesbian, I lost interest in her. When I go home it’s only demands and demands.

I got another surprise I was waiting for. I hear from Detective Tammy Holtz about complaint filed against me for CSC 3rd degree (criminal sexual conduct 3rd degree) if proved, I am looking to go to impressment for 10 years. Now Norma can get me deported. If not, she can get all the material from house. She remembered Bill Mackey, 2 , 3 , 4 the moment she complained, they arrested him and she managed to sell all the material from home. They (Norma, Ruth and Angie) expected me to get arrested right away. Tammy Holtz had seen me in the collage. She was also student while I was. She had known Paul Hostotter and Paul had great deal to talk with her about Norma’s behavior. Complaint was filed by Angie but Norma was her spokesperson (ex-wife is helping to file complaint) It raised red flag immediately. Law enforcement dept. was well aware of Norma’s attitude and motive. Therefore they have mentioned Norma as spokesperson for Angie. It means the complaint was drafted by Norma. When I got the news of Rape complaint, my feet started trembling. I knew I have not done anything like that, but will I be able to prove it. Will I be able to afford an attorney for rape case? It runs from $15,000 to 50,000. If not I will spend 10 years and back to India. Instead of issuing an arrest warrant, Tammy Holtz asked me to come for interview at 8 AM tomorrow to police station. I wanted to buy some time. I was nervous and I said I work all nights; I requested if I can come at 1 PM. Tammy agreed. I called Ruth and wanted to ask her as what is cooking on their side but I realized that she may also be the part of this plot. So I called and told her “you should be proud that your father is now charged with Rape. She hung up the phone. I was convinced that she is also part of plot. Full report can be seen page 1 Page 2 page 3 page 4 please be careful the report is graphic.

Date of complaint is December 8th 1996 after the failed immigration interview of 14th may 1996. I had withdrawn my Immigration application on March 15th 1996. Date of Rape incident is February 8th 1996. i.e 10 Month earlier. Divorce agreement was signed on 6th Nov 1996 for which Angie denied signing to Norma. Our marriage date was 25th Nov 1994. I called her mother and asked about what was happenings, she said you must pay her and meet her demands in order to live in peace. I started to say this is not the way to behave. She said “you raped her so you must pay the price.” My answer to her was “I am not her father neither I am her brother, I am her husband.” (Angie was raped by her father for three years and by her step brother)

Next day at 1 PM I went to Tammy Holtz. She read the complaint. She paused a minute and asked me “you don’t speak this language, do you?” I started smiling and said “read on.” She asked me “what were you doing on February 8th between 10 to 12 pm? My reply was “I don’t remember what I was doing 10 months ago.” I was told to get a letter from my company that I did not work on that day.

Meanwhile I am getting phone calls on my mobile but no one is talking. Only Angie had my mobile number. On 3rd phone call I said “I’m in the jail but I have my mobile with me. Must be wanting to check if I am in the jail, they can raid my house. Finally I got a call from Angie that if I give her the CD (Certificate of Deposit) of $2600. They will leave me alone. When Angie went to live with Norma, she took her to the banks and withdrawn all balance in joint account. It was not much must be about $500. Also they wanted to cash out CD of $2600 but it was collateral on my credit card. I had to sign a release letter for that. Now they thought to get me on rape charges and get the cash. It was Norma’s plan to extract from me completely and run me dry.

I wrote this letter to Andrew who was in Jail at that time:

Dear Andy, Feb. 27*1996

I thought I must keep you posted as what is happening in our family.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. My phone line is cut and only way of communication is by mai1.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. As per my cellular phone records Ruth called me on Jan.

11, 1996 at 1015 P.M. and was talking something about money and all but I heard your mom dictating on the back, I told Ruth, You are my daughter and I want to hear from you and not from anyone else dictating on your back. Come down to my house and talk to me face to face. I hung up.

I got another call at 1016 P.M. and Ruth said “don’t hang-up otherwise I will keep calling, listen carefully”. I said OK. She went on and said I should put $600 and few other papers in their mail box by 10 AM tomorrow morning otherwise they will create problems between me and Angie. My reply was, “Your mother had tried enough in the past to blackmail me and I did not come under, but I faced the consequences. Now you as my daughter are trying to do so, go head and do what you all can. I am sick of whole situation”. I hung up. When I came home I saw Norma Arora name on my phone ID, and asked Angie if Norma called? She said yes and Norma wants me to come over, well days passed and Angie

left home as usual I thought she will come back. She showed

up on Feb. 13. and .said she is dizzy and I should go to work. I went and came back in 1/2 hour and saw she had packed all my valuables and was waiting for ride, well when I told her what is she doing, she attempted to assault me again and I ran out of house and called police on my cellular phone. When she saw I had called the police, she took one big bag and my brief case and ran away. I lost few important papers and computer disk with -files again. - On Feb. 19 , someone told me that she called

Someone and Norma Arora name comes on ID- Then I realized that how big trouble in on the way. Day and night I was expecting any trouble based on lies. The day came and on Feb. 21 I got a call from GRR Police Detective that there is complaint from Angela that I have assaulted her sexually I should come to detective Unit, on Feb. 22, I called Ruth and told her "Are you happy now, your goal is being met. You should be proud that your father is being charged with CSC 1st degree. “She said it was not her goal she is not working on it. I asked then who is working on it and her reply was Angie and mama are working on it. I asked what wrong .I did to anybody that you people want me to spend rest of my life in prison and her reply was I am not paying child support and I said I am supposed to pay $ 58«00 and I am paying 70.00. She said I have not paid the overdue balance and I said does this means you all should charge me for sexual assault? And she hung-up. I came to know from neighbor who owns a truck that Angie called to find out how much it will cost to move the whole house. Well the plan of your mom goes like this: They file the sexual assault complaint,

I go to jail for minimum one day, they clear the house. Later on when I return after arraignment^ I work my ass out to prove my innocence and go through heavy expanses. I went to see detective* and they are investigating- You are my son it is really painful for me to see you right there. But I am so sick of whole thing 1 feel I should go back to India and at least have a peaceful life. Now do you realize how much damage one phone number can cause if it is in the wrong hands. Presently any information regarding me, passing on to your mom is dangerous to me- She has always used you to destroy me again and again. I can count them for you. She made you to write the statement in domestic assault. She made you give the statement regarding me coming home. I was afraid of this day so I use to come and I was living and paying all the bills. On Feb.. 2nd. at 12.30 P.M. I got a call from Becky who is Angie's friend saying if

I give my C.D of •$ 2600,00 to them, they will leave me alone. What am I supposed to do. Easy way out to pay and have peace. If I pay then how do 1 know that it is not going to be repeated? If I don’t, then keep running to the police station, attorneys, and courts. Remember when you were first in jail, I was to come and pay the bond? She made so many complaints that I had to run 9 days to detectives giving explanations, with the result you had to spend 9 days in jail. This blackmailing pattern had been repeatedly occurring in our lives. Before I was married and use to think I should do it because if we break up your lives will be in the mess. But after divorce also she wanted to have hold over me. Do you remember how she use to tell me during no contact if I don’t do what she says the I will be going to jail, I did go to jail. Same thing with you, when you were on bond to obey your mother, her condition was if you go to your dad, she will complain that you are disobeying her blackmail nature.

 

Divorce to Angela

 

After I came to know that both my ex-wife Norma and present lesbian wife Angie were living together, I thought to myself, sure they would make good couple. I hoped they would settle down and will not bother me anymore. Or my troubles would go to double. 1+1 = 11. And not 2. The marriage was irreparable. There was no mutual trust or interest for either of us. The purpose of marriage to establish family was nowhere in sight. Therefore before wasting any more time, for counseling mediation and negotiations, I got down to my computer and started preparing the divorce proceedings. By now I was getting experienced in divorce matters. I had gone to court several times for hearing in civil and criminal cases, I bought a divorce law books and was trying to graduate in divorce matters. I had two divorce proceedings papers in my file. I made some changes like with Angie, we were without children, had nothing in common except a joint account and car. I had discussed with her mother. Joint account balance had been already withdrawn by her. She tried to cash in the fixed deposit of $2600 but could not. Being bad credit history due to disruptions and medical bills my credit score was dropped. Therefore to build credit history I had placed CD as collateral for a credit card. Unless I surrender the credit card, they cannot cash the CD (certificate of Deposit).

I completed the divorce proceedings papers with mutual divorce agreement ready. I knew she will come one day to visit me. I also informed Rose, my old neighbor’s daughter whose son and daughter was Andrew and Ruth’s school mates. I was sure when she comes, she would be pleased if I called Rose and took her for dinner. At dinner table Rose would persuade her to sign the mutual divorce agreement. Then the divorce will become UNCONTESTED. It will go through smoothly and not like Norma it would drag for years.

Angie felt home with Norma and Ruth. One day I was at friend’s house. She passing by saw my car in the drive way. She came up to the door and knocked. I was surprised to see her. She said she was passing and came in to see me. She is on her way to pick up her daughter. I asked who her daughter was and her reply was Ruth.

On the other end Norma knew my mind. She had prohibited her to visit me. Also she was waiting for divorce summons to show up so that she could act on her behalf to contest and create problems.

One day finally Angie came, I welcomed her and said me and Rose were supposed to go for dinner today. I called rose and told her Angie was with me. Rose got ready and I drove her to Rose’s house. We picked up Rose. Rose and Angie were on the back seat and I was their chauffer. Angie was also happy that she saw Rose for quite some time. We got to the Restaurant across the bank. First we went to bank and I took out the agreement. Rose explained her if she signs it, she will not be bound to Satish anymore. She can have her life as she wants. In reply Angie said Norma had instructed her not to sign any paper. If Norma comes to know, she will get mad at her. We tried to convince her that if she does not tell Norma, we will not tell Norma. It was not enough for her. She was influenced by Norma so much that she had become obedient puppy. At this point Rose and I decided to take her for dinner.

In the restaurant at dinner table we started the discussions again. Rose explained her benefits and losses of signature. Benefit was that she would not have to go to court and I will manage divorce silently without letting anyone knowing. She did not have to have an attorney. If she does not sign then it becomes contested divorce, she will be spending money for attorney and will get nothing from me. I had no property, business or any material of interest, I was working as taxi driver on day to day bases with all cash income. My house had already been robbed and there is no valuable left. If she feels to take anything from house, just let us know and will give her. She came up with CD. I asked her how you know it is still there. Her reply was Norma brought her to bank after she left home and made her to withdraw entire balance $400 from joint account, then Norma was talking to bank manager about $2600 CD. Being hearing imperative, she could read lips more than she could hear. Norma had told her that they have to get CD by hook or crook. My reply was that it cannot be broken because I would have to cancel my credit card. To cancel my credit card, I would have to pay up my $2000 balance first. I don’t have $2000 to pay up the balance. If I had $2000 to pay up, we will get only $600 in hand. Can you arrange $2000? I will give you $600. I noticed that Norma has a strong handle over the divorce affair. She is waiting desperately for this moment and had prepared all grounds.

Finally wen our conversation made some sense, she agreed. By the time the dinner was also over. We paid the bill and went to bank again. I went to Notary public with contract and I signed in front of him. When Angie was to sign, he asked her “do you know what you are about to sign?” and her reply was “yes, I have read it”. She signed and it was notarized. I dropped rose and brought her home to pick up her car.

Next morning I went to the court and filed the divorce and sent the summons by paralegal. It was delivered on Feb. 13 1996 and after 21 days on March 5th I check with court clerk about response. There was no response so I filed the default and divorce agreement. To my surprise, on 7th march (2 days late) she had filed following response.

[+ Honorable Sir+], Judge Benson,

Permit me to bring to your notice that I am in desperate need of your kind understanding and help. I was informed by the front desk clerk Mme. Adel that I had until the 5th of March ’96 to answer to the complaint for divorce filed by my husband Satish Chander Arora. Imagine my frustration when with great difficulty I produced the same on the afternoon of the 5th and was told that she had miscalculated the date and Satish had already filed a default. It is my fervent request that my response be please considered as I have been chcatcd out of my meager possessions by Satish not to mention other damage he has done to me mentally, emotionaly and physically. He has had me followed by a friend of his (Ali Syed) in Meyers store, inspite of me asking for a restraining order against him.

Dear sir, my earliest appointment with a legal aid attorney is on the 15th of April ’96. and I was hoping to safeguard my interests until then by responding to the complaint for divorce by my self, but I have had to depend on the computer lab at GRCC which closed for spring break on the 4th.

Seeing that you are a very busy person I will end hoping to receive some consideration for my domestic crisis situation.

Respectfully, I remain.

(This was drafted and written by Norma. Angela had nothing to do with GRCC Computer lab and knew nothing about letter writing on computer.)

Judge wrote on response “get me the file please”. In other words she wanted a stay order for divorce proceedings. As a matter of fact by now judge knew me and her personally. He had been with Norma’s case and was aware that Norma and her address are same. It means they are together. He paid no attention to her response. These were the contest demands in the divorce summons. Major demand is $3900 to be paid and divorce should be delayed for 6 months. She had a plan to milk me for another six months. Do I need to go for counseling while both are living together? These 5 pages of divorce agreement. [+ Page 1+] [+ Page 2+] [+ Page 3+] Page 4 Page 5 …………………………………………

This was not the end of surprises. I got a call from GRPD detective saying Norma and Angela had filed a complaint that her signature is not authentic. She did not sign any agreement. I told Detective: “Did you see her signatures are attested by Public Notary?” his reply “yes”. My question “then why didn’t you call Notary? If he says it is not, then arrest him and not me.” Detective said “he called Notary but he was not present. Therefore he decided to call me and confirm.” I said “ok call him and don’t call me unless you have to arrest me.” I never heard from him again.

You got to be really ignorant to write all this. Only Norma’s brain can function this way. Divorce went through and I went and appeared on the date and testified that she was my wife and judge signed. I guess he did not want to face Norma in indirect way. Judge knew the background story and he ignored her reply and signed the divorce.

 

 

Now I had been divorced, what happens to Sponsorship of Immigration?

I had withdrawn my application and closed the file.

Now I was illegal.

.

My Green Card

Since I became illegal, I had four choices.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Just say good bye to everyone and leave. All the mess will be over and her desire will be fulfilled

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Work and collect as much money as possible, when I get deportation orders, I leave country voluntarily.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I must take consultation appointment from Immigration attorney and ask possibilities for adjustment of status.

By now I had become stubborn and was not willing to follow 1st choice. It was matter of self-respect and prestige. I did not want to run away from challenges but would face it. I had faced plenty of challenges in life since 14 years of age. By now I was use to facing challenges. Now there was war between her faith/Lord, and my principles, practical life and future.

I agreed to priorities 2^nd.^ But same time will work on 3rd too. I was all alone. One by one every one purged out from house. Andrew was in Jail; Ruth’s mind was poisoned beyond recognition. She was of mind that I was dad for no good. Mother was trying hard to find a rich dad for her. Angela too was living with my Ex and daughter.

I visited an immigration attorney. While I was waiting in the lounge, I was going through law books. I spotted Title 8 – ALIENS AND NATIONALITY book. I took the publisher’s name and address. I saw the attorney and was told there is no possibility since I was not a professional, married with good relationship or fit in any political asylum category.

I started reading the Immigration law book and suddenly something stuck me. It was a sentence “If a citizen marries alien in good faith and citizen abuses alien spouse. In this case burden of proof lies on alien to prove that the

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Marriage was in good faith

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Alien is of good moral character

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Assault happened with no fault of alien.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. I was a bona fide spouse of a United States citizen

#
p<>{color:#000;}. We had fair amount in common. we share a language and religion. We live together and do things together, like take vacations, celebrate important events, birthdays, and holidays, join clubs or gyms, but did not have sex and children due to her lesbian nature. We also had combine financial and other aspects of our lives after marriage. I demonstrated my trust in her by sharing bank and accounts and ownership of property, such as cars and house. We celebrated each other’s birthdays and I met her families.

#
p<>{color:#000;}.

Below is the extract from Book. (CC) applies to me

(AA) who is the spouse of a citizen of the United States;

(BB) who believed that he or she had married a citizen of the United States and with whom a marriage ceremony was actually performed and who otherwise meets any applicable requirements under this chapter to establish the existence of and bona fides of a marriage, but whose marriage is not legitimate solely because of the bigamy of such citizen of the United States; or

(CC) who was a bona fide spouse of a United States citizen within the past 2 years and—

(aaa) whose spouse died within the past 2 years;

(bbb) whose spouse lost or renounced citizenship status within the past 2 years related to an incident of domestic violence; or

(ccc) who demonstrates a connection between the legal termination of the marriage within the past 2 years and battering or extreme cruelty by the United States citizen spouse;

(bb) who is a person of good moral character;

(cc) who is eligible to be classified as an immediate relative under section 1151 (2)(A)(i) of this title or who would have been so classified but for the bigamy of the citizen of the United States that the alien intended to marry; and

(dd) who has resided with the alien’s spouse or intended spouse.

(iv) An alien who is the child of a citizen of the United States, or who was a child of a United States citizen parent who within the past 2 years lost or renounced citizenship status related to an incident of domestic violence, and who is a person of good moral character, who is eligible to be classified as an immediate relative under section 1151 (2)(A)(i) of this title, and who resides, or has resided in the past, with the citizen parent may file a petition with the Attorney General under this subparagraph for classification of the alien (and any child of the alien) under such section if the alien demonstrates to the Attorney General that the alien has been battered by or has been the subject of extreme cruelty perpetrated by the alien’s citizen parent. For purposes of this clause, residence includes any period of visitation.

The “normal” married couple has a fair amount in common. They share a language and religion. They live together and do things together, like take vacations, celebrate important events, birthdays, and holidays, join clubs or gyms, and have sex and children. Typical couples also combine financial and other aspects of their lives after marriage. They demonstrate their trust in one another by sharing bank and credit card accounts and ownership of property, such as cars and houses. They celebrate each other’s birthdays and meet each other’s’ families.

Legal Requirements for a Marriage

• that you are legally married

• that your marriage is bona fide (real, not just done to get a green card)

• proof of the petitioning spouse’s U.S. citizenship or lawful permanent resident status, and

• that neither of you is married to anyone else.

Spouse: You may file for yourself if you are, or were, the abused spouse of a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. You may also file as an abused spouse if your child has been abused by your U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse.  You may also include on your petition your unmarried children who are under 21 if they have not filed for themselves.

As per above, I was eligible to file for permanent residency. I called immigration and got necessary paperwork. After filling I went to an Immigration Attorney and asked him if he signs this form as my attorney, how much he is going to charge. First he discouraged me by saying that “this is only for domestically abused women by citizen. They will not approve it.” My reply was “it does not matter just sign it and charge me.” He demanded $100 and it was ok for me. Usually it costs 3 to 4 thousands. This is because I had done all the ground work and there was no assurance

After a month my attorney got approval letter with condition

My attorney made a reply to it as below:

I saw these remarks Michael Moore Public Figure’s face book Neaben Bennett I Came for the American Dream. Now I’m Dreaming A nightmare.

March 15, 2011 at 12:32am

[+ https://www.facebook.com/mmflint/posts/192856777421183?comment_id=2659907&offset=0&total_comments=96+]

This is 18 years after divorce.

later on in 2008 she writes on a website:

Jun 21, 2008

 

“I HAD SOCIAL SERVICES PULL MY EMERGANCY MEDICAID WHEN I WAS IN A SHELTER AND WENT TO A 'BOOTH FEAST' FOR SHELTER RESIDENTS AT THE TIME. THEIR PROOF?? MY EX BATTERER HAD SENT THEM A CUTTING OF A BUSINESS HE FORCED ME TO REGISTER TO FILE 6 VEHICLES HE HAD PURCHASED IN HIS NAME WITH MY STUDENT MONEY. I WAS AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT WITH TWO MINOR CHILDREN AT THE TIME. I HAD A PROTECTION ORDER AND MY CHILDREN WERE INCLUDED IN IT. THE NEXT THING I KNOW 'LEGAL AID' WITHDRAWS ON ME CUZ MY EX AGAIN FIGHTS FOR A 17 1/2 YEAR OLD CHILD SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO PUT IN $11 A WEEK CHILD SUPPORT FOR HIM. THE JUDGE THREW IT OUT SAYING THE KID WAS BIG ENOUGH TO DECIDE. I SAID AMEN, BUT WHEN THE KID TURNED 18YEARS, GUESS WHAT HE WAS OUT ON THE STREET IN THE COLD. HOW MUCH DOES COMMUNITY AGENCIES 'SEE' FROM A DOMESTIC RAMSHACKLED SITUATION?? WHY IS THAT THE WRONG PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO PUSH BUTTONS AND GET THEM FURTHUR AWAY FROM THE PLATE. THIS STUFF MAKES ONE SICK.”

Why did she have to lie? No one was or is interested in her life. Neither was she earning any benefit from lying, nor was any one going to verify. This book is backed by all the legal papers and evidence. Again lies after lies. As I got my green card in 1997, I moved to Ohio state and then to Georgia, Florida. In 1999, I went to Melbourne Australia, and then back to Jacksonville Florida in 2000 and was in New York from 2002 till 2012. When I tried to cross border to Canada, I was investigated. I asked the officer the reason for special investigation like I was some kind of criminal. She asked if I knew Norma Bennett. My reply was Norma is my Ex but I don’t know Bennett. She replied, there is a protection order on you from her. I was wondering it is 18 years since divorce is finalized, I left town and state and country. How come I am still a threat to her? I decided to follow up. It is taking away my liberty to cross border to Canada. I am in business of crossing border up to 4 times a day. It is really embracing for me to get held up for investigation whereas my passengers have clean chit to cross. Nothing happens but it takes long time on the border. It is effecting my livelihood.

I came home and enquired from Michigan court about Protection Order. I was told that it was imposed in year 2000 while I was in Australia. It’s due to expire next month. I decided to sit quite for another one month. Right on given date, I crossed the border and I was not investigated. I was relieved.

Next month again I was investigated at the border.Reason for investigation is when there is Protection Order, it means this person has committed some crime and they want to get to the bottom of it. Every time there is new officer and has to know the background. Officer told me that he cannot find anything, why is this protection. I said it is ex-parte and I had not been informed about it. I am in New York and she is in Michigan.

I came home and called Marie, the lady in charge of PPO cell. There was answering machine. I left the message saying my name phone number and reason for call. Next day I got the call back. My conversation goes like this:

Marie: Satish you called? (I was known to her since Grand Rapids MI)

Satish: Yes, the reason for my call was to find out what is the complaint about me.

Marie: Satish I am sitting here to help people.

Satish: Yes you are helping, just help me too and let me know what was the complaint filed against me in order to impose restraining order?

Marie: Satish you can come here and talk to judge.

Satish: Marie, why don’t you answer my question. What is going on? I am a law abiding citizen, I work and pay my taxes.

Marie: Did you said Law abiding citizen? I see here there is an arrest warrant.

Satish: yes, what happened to arrest warrant, why it was not executed?

Marie: It was cancelled.

Satish: why was it cancelled without my notice? It means they had made a mistake. Now you are trying to find something against me. You cannot. 17 years ago when first PPO was imposed, I left the town, left the state, left the country, I went away to Australia and PPO was imposed while I was living in Australia. Am I that dangerous? Do I have to leave the world to get rid of her from my back? I had filed the divorce not she, I did not want her. She brought every possible hurdle to stop the divorce. Now she is on revenge mood. People like you in the name of helping are being used by wicked women to harass law abiding citizens in every way. Is divorce fever is not over yet in 17 years. Your PPO is free and she takes advantage of everything available free taking up the resources which can be used for other needy and genuine people. It was better for you to leave this job causing innocent people being harassed by revengeful women and take up some volunteer job in often age or Salvation Army where you can help real needy people. You said I must come and talk to Judge? I don’t have time to travel all the way from NY to MI and face this wicked woman. Don’t you check the background of Individual and make decision accordingly. Don’t you verify the statement supported with PPO petition? It was waste of my time talking to you. Bye.

There was silence on the other side. And brief bye was heard after pause.

I had surfed the web and contacted attorneys for removal of restraining order. There is no one who can do that. If one wants to fight, $10,000 up front with no guarantee to win. Often judges say, If you are not going to harass, it does not affect your daily life. You want PPO to be removed, it means you intend to harm. But here it was affecting my livelihood. I was not aware of it because was never investigated for anything.

What happened next was a surprise. I crossed the border and was not investigated. I thought may be officer did not check the background. I made a U turn on the American side and went to Canada again. Had dinner in a restaurant and returned to US. I was not check again. I was feeling grate that my statement did make difference. It was not possible by seeing judge as she had suggested.

Life was back to normal. By this time I guessed Andrew had been released and was deported to India. After surfing the net I found out about his deportation. I called Celine (Norma’s sister at Mumbai’ to enquire. Her reply was, she does not know anything about Andrew. She never spoke to her sister. After searching again I on state expense. This leaves him no chance to return to US for life time. In April 2004 I paid a visit to India. There I wrote a letter to Andrew about my visit and asked him to reply if he wants to. was his reply.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Andrew Arora

*
p<>{color:#000;}. 08/13/04at6:49 PM

Hi dad,
p.                                                                          
Yourson,
Andrew.

I called and was bombed with lots and lots of blames like “I had abandoned family after coming to US.” We had quite a heated exchange of words. He was bent on blaming me for family situation and I was giving explanations of my restrictions due to continue restraining orders and her efforts to block information from me up to the extent when I called Ruth’s school to know her progress, principle told me that she cannot give any information as Norma had instructed. In the end it did make some sense to him and got this reply next day.

Here he was with Norma’s sister Judith, Ann, and grand mother.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Andrew Arora

*
p<>{color:#000;}.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. 08/15/04 at 1:07 PM

Hello father,
p.       I was surprised to hear from you since I didnt think you wanted to
see me again after all that has happened to our family in the past.  There
are alot of things that do not sit well with me.  What happened between you
and mom is something that was unfortunate. But what was more unfortunate was
what we were left with after you walked out of our ( Ruthie & Me ) lives.  I
know I wasnt exactly the model son, but I have always loved you,  what makes
it hard for me to show it is the feeling of betrayal that I was left with,
all those years ago.  I have become a man now and I realize how important it
is to have a relationship with your father.  I have also learned that no
family is perfect and no matter what happens families should stick together.
This does not mean husbands and wives, we have to learn to get over our
indifferences and watch we we say about each other.  I’ve heard a lot of
things that were said about Mom and Ruthie these things dont make things
better if any thing they can have desasterous effects on relationships.  I
have thought about mending our relationship but we have to be in agreement
that we will not do things to pull each other down.  Together we must do
what is right.  It has been 10 years since we seen each other Im sure a lot
has changed, Im no longer 16 years old.  Well this has nothing to do with my
mother,  her relationship with you is over and it is in all our best
interests to leave it at that.  Life does go on and I am sure you already
know this.  Please do not let me reconsider what I am doing and you can be
sure I will be a man of my word.  Leave mom out of our conversations. I want
to stay in tuch with you.  As far as the money goes, I am not a debt
collector, I dont know how you told your sis that you sent 2000 for me
because I’m hearing  a totally different story on this side. I never
mentioned the money but the story is you paid Aunty Judy for some loan back
in the day.  I dont know how this money issue ever came up but this is
exactly  the kind of game I do not want to play. If you really wanted to
send me money you could’ve sent it directly to my account when I was in the
US.  So as far as I’m concerned it makes no sense. Im not doing this to get
some money because my pride wont allow me, Im just like you in more ways
than one. I’m a survivor. What you do as a father is up to you.  First of
all you have to be forgiving and humble. We dont owe each other anything, so
its up to you. Well I’ll end for now, please do not take any thing out of
context.  I’m entering this thing with an open mind and without bias. I hope you do the same.
p.        Andrew.

P.S. Hope Nana is doing well, you can tell her that I send my love.
p.    

Again the blame game. After reading this letter I called back and explained I could not put money in your account because you had restricted my visit. I had no communication with you and there was no way I could call you in the Prison. In order for him to understand my situation, I had to repeat the incidents and told him to step into my shoes. About $2000 he is talking about, I spoke to Judith before he was to be deported as per my estimate. I called prison to enquire about him and was told he has finished sentence and now he is in Immigration custody. They cannot reveal me the information about immigration detention. Therefore I understood that its time he will be deported any time from now. I contacted his aunt Judith (Norma’s elder sister) and explained the situation. I wanted him to be taken care when he lands at Mumbai. She suggested, she will start some small business and he can take over. She demanded $2000 initially. I sent her. Never heard anything from her again. I had told Andrew while explaining did I care about him or not. I sent above money before his arrival. She later tells him as I had borrowed and paid back loan. Guess whole family is cheat. Again he took it wrong and sent me this advisory letter as how to live. Forgive and forget. It sounds so easy. I did not go for revenge shows that I had forgiven. But time to time when I am blamed, I had to remind others. It cannot behave as if nothing had happened. I simply walked away.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Andrew Arora

*
p<>{color:#000;}.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. 08/18/04 at 12:15 AM

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Hello father,
How r u doing?  I dont think not talking to me about the issue will make things better.  I understand you are not well, and am being considerate of the fact.  I do not wish to upset you by the things I say, its just that Im a frank person.  I feel it is better to speak on the way we feel than to hold things inside and let it eat at us slowly.  I have contacted you with good intentions but am not feeling too welcome by you.  I know you have a lot of anger and hate towards some people but I am not interested in that.  What I’m interested in, is seeing if I can reestablish a working
relationship with my father. I dont think sorrys work in our situation or I would mention it instead its actions that will bring closure and forgiveness.  I am grateful for the things you did do for me like teaching me how to work with my hands and Iremember when you told me to “never let anybody talk to me with their arm around my shoulder”  I have never forgotten that advice and now it is me who puts my arm around peoples shoulders.  I’d much rather remember the good things between us than the bad things that happened to the family.  You r entitled to hold your grudges if they really mean so much to you but I hope you can forget and forgive.  I now attend church and have stopped using Marijuana for some years now.  I
speak a little chinese and spanish.  I like to work out and am into body building.  I also enjoy reading about business and marketing.  I consider myself hard working no matter how hard that is to believe.  I also enjoy adventure and camping.  I’m looking forward to visiting Matheran soon.  Hopefully with you.  I’m forward thinkin.  Im also a very good artist when it comes to designing cars.
p. Well talk to you soon,

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Andrew.

I returned to US after a month and started to send him money, equipment and supplies to establish tattoo and airbrush painting business.

One day I called as usual and heard someone like Norma shouting on the back saying “he is not your father, don’t talk to him”. I told Andrew that does she means she was unfaithful right from beginning? Screams were so loud that I had to hang up. I went on the net and started surfing. I found following postings.

 

NORMA BENNETT – 01:29pm Sep 26, 2006 (547. 1000/1425)

IMMIGRATION

IF VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE WAS CHOSEN UNDER DURESS THERE IS A ‘LOCOFILING OPTION AVAILABLE. HOW DOES ONE FILE IT. WHAT RECOURSE DOES A BATTERED WOMAN HAVE TO RESCENDING HER VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE PROFESSION AND REQUEST STAY FOR FAMILY UNITY AND FEAR FOR LIFE REASONS? ALSO REPLT TO NEABENNETT@ALLVANTAGE.COM

  pg1067 – 11:40am Sep 29, 2006 (547.1 1003/1425)

IMMIGRATION

Please turn off the caps lock key. It connotes shouting and is difficult to read.

Your post makes little sense.

“IF VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE WAS CHOSEN UNDER DURESS THERE IS A ‘LOCOFILING OPTION AVAILABLE.”

Voluntary departure from what? Chosen by whom? Chosen instead of what? “Loco” means “place.” What does “loco filing option” mean?

WHAT RECOURSE DOES A BATTERED WOMAN HAVE TO RESCENDING HER VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE PROFESSION AND REQUEST STAY FOR FAMILY UNITY AND FEAR FOR LIFE REASONS?”

Again, this makes no sense.

If your English skills are such that you can’t communicate clearly, I suggest you find someone who can help you. Otherwise, please consult with local counsel.

It looks like Marie had investigated and reported to Immigrations authorities. Deportation proceedings had started. She was desperate to use “battered woman” card or any other means including PPO history of 17 years. “WHAT RECOURSE DOES A BATTERED WOMAN HAVE TO RESCENDING HER VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE PROFESSION AND REQUEST STAY FOR FAMILY UNITY AND FEAR FOR LIFE REASONS

Why volunteer departure. Ten-Year Bar to Immigration Relief

Another consequence if you fail to depart the U.S. on time has to do with your chances of obtaining future U.S. immigration status. You will face an automatic ten-year bar from being granted cancellation of removal, adjustment of status, change of status, registry, and further voluntary departure.

(This law has been changed over the years. Non-citizens who were granted voluntary departure in 1995 or earlier received an automatic bar of five years rather than ten.)

Next day she put her car for sale:

DOCUMENTARIES

NORMA BENNETT | Posted on: June 29, 2007 | Comments: 0

ANY GUIDANCE WILL BE WELCOME, I WANT TO MAKE SOME DOCUMENTARIES ON MY 14 YEARS IN THE USA AS A BATTERED WOMAN. WILL SELL ONE STORY LINE TO RAISE PERSONAL REESTABLISHMENT FUNDS IN INDIA.

THANKS

ITS CHECK MATE FOR ME. BACK TO MUMBAI AFTER NEARLY 20 YEARS

Wants to use battered woman card again but it did not work.

NORMA BENNETT | Posted on: June 29, 2007 | Comments: 0

NEED IDEAS HOW TO GET MY BILLS PAID. I WAS IN THE USA UNDER VERY DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES, NOW I CHOOSE TO COME BACK HOME AND AM FINDING IT MINDBOGGLING TO GET RELOCATED. HALP!!

Jun 21, 2008

 

OK SO THE FOOD STAMPS AND MEDICAID LAPSED AND DIED. BUT THERE WERE STILL 4 CHILDREN DEPENDING ON ONE ADULT. THE HUSBAND PASSES AWAY WITH LEUKEMIA!!! FOR GOD'S SAKES, WHAT DOES THE SOCIAL SERVICES NEED TO SEE THE 'NEED'. SEEMS TO ME THAT THE VERY FREQUENT VISITS TO THE HOUSE WITH BARRIERS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADRESSED AT LEAST 2 MONTHS PRIOR TO THE OFFICERS WALKING IN ON THE CORPSES. NO ODOUR!!?? NO KIDS FRIENDS CALLING, HOW POOR WAS THIS WOMAN. BET YOU HER 175 BUCKS WAS FOOD MONEY. WHEN IS A WOMAN LOADED WITH ENOUGH SO SHE HAS TO CRACK MENTALLY UNDER THE LOAD.
I HAD SOCIAL SERVICES PULL MY EMERGANCY MEDICAID WHEN I WAS IN A SHELTER AND WENT TO A 'BOOTH FEAST' FOR SHELTER RESIDENTS AT THE TIME. THEIR PROOF?? MY EX BATTERER HAD SENT THEM A CUTTING OF A BUSINESS HE FORCED ME TO REGISTER TO FILE 6 VEHICLES HE HAD PURCHASED IN HIS NAME WITH MY STUDENT MONEY. I WAS AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT WITH TWO MINOR CHILDREN AT THE TIME. I HAD A PROTECTION ORDER AND MY CHILDREN WERE INCLUDED IN IT. THE NEXT THING I KNOW 'LEGAL AID' WITHDRAWS ON ME CUZ MY EX AGAIN FIGHTS FOR A 17 1/2 YEAR OLD CHILD SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO PUT IN $11 A WEEK CHILD SUPPORT FOR HIM. THE JUDGE THREW IT OUT SAYING THE KID WAS BIG ENOUGH TO DECIDE. I SAID AMEN, BUT WHEN THE KID TURNED 18YEARS, GUESS WHAT HE WAS OUT ON THE STREET IN THE COLD. HOW MUCH DOES COMMUNITY AGENCIES 'SEE' FROM A DOMESTIC RAMSHACKLED SITUATION?? WHY IS THAT THE WRONG PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO PUSH BUTTONS AND GET THEM FURTHUR AWAY FROM THE PLATE. THIS STUFF MAKES ONE SICK. HOPEFULLY SHE WONT BE LOCKED UP AND THE KEY THROWN AWAY. BTW THE JUDGES REMARK IS PRETTY CALLOUSED AND NOT IN KEEPING WITH 'INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY' SHE HAS A GOOD CASE OF 'NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF INSANITY' I THINK THE JUDGE SHOULD RECLUSE HERSELF FROM THE CASE. Ms JACKS IS ALSO A VICTIM AND IRONICALLY SHOULD BE SAVED FROM THE HELL SHE IS IN MENTALLY AND I BET EMOTIONALLY.

 

If you have read the book and saw the evidences heard the sound bites, you can judge her character.

She is still looking for job and is depending on daughter ever since. You can see her resume at: [+ Norma’s Resume+]

Check back for continuation.


FATE OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

my story about divorce I went through soon after coming to US from India We can see hundreds of books about men being abusive to women. Men are generally perceived to be abusive. Behind these perceptions, women secretly and slowly abuse in a silent manner like slow venom. And by the time one realizes, it is too late and man is already tangled in the web. Often men don’t like to talk about abuses they go through behind closed doors. It is matter of insult and they lose their integrity. But when abusive behaviour crosses the thresholds, they start to defend themselves behind their gender being abused instead. So, I confronted the behaviour, not the way she ought to confront my behaviour, but the way she ought to confront rational behaviour. I asked for an explanation, asked for examples of the generalizations made by her, and asked her to make sense of the abuse. But I was losing. Her—verbal, and emotional abuses included—do not act rationally. Asking me for a reason or trying to reason with her is pointless. She had no good reasons for behaving the way she did. She would respond with more abuses. You cannot reason with an abuser. A verbal abuser will define your reality, decide what you can or cannot do, and treat you as an (in-her-eyes) ugly part of herself, a part that she have to undermine in order to keep up her own sense of self. There is only one way to end verbal abuse: Call it to the abuser’s attention. If that doesn’t work, the only way out is to leave, as fast as you can. I did leave but not fast enough. It’s up to you to judge. It does not matter now as game is over. If you can get something from my story, It will be worth and blessings. There is complete details in the book can read at http://satish.me

  • Author: sharora
  • Published: 2017-08-24 08:32:24
  • Words: 59588
FATE OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP FATE OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP