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Diary of a mad woman

Diary of a mad woman

Edenia Series/Veronica Thomas Incorporation

By Beth Hoyer

Copyright Shakespir 2017



Mad Woman’s thoughts of as thought them down via typing onto the laptop.


Diary of a mad woman starts:

Recorder interrupted from typing a line by a kiss on the side of the neck by her Tom Thunder aka Tim the original of Tom Thunder/Keo hybrid Banshee’s clones as he’s preferred to be referred. Recorder gave Tim a glare of annoyance to notice he was still clad in his loin cloth underwear garment and nothing else on his form.

Recorder unsure of her name despite known as Veronica Thomas spoke to Tim “Shouldn’t you be wearing clothes Timmy dear?”

Tim in response gave her a kiss on the lips she broke it off while clearing her throat.

Tim spoke in response “I prefer not to wear anything confining. It’s from wearing that piece of garment going around as Timer the Souler’s leader in some proxy joke.”

Recorder ignored Tim’s insult term of proxy joke involving the Soulers’ Leader; Timer himself.

According to Tim “Timer was an implanted brain in a machine made to look humanoid looking.”

No one knew who that brain was actually but there were rumors among the inhabitants of Mister Jinks Montreal’s residence that the brain was of Alexei Zesky after his body failed function.

“The Soulers” according to Tim “guarded this Timer very religiously and refused to let anyone see him except a proxy version aka I myself posing as him via restraint garments which he would give me orders to do in his place.”

Tim had added according to him once spoken to Recorder, spoke “Nope don’t give a damn about the Soulers as long as I stop going around as their leader in some posing form in confining garments. I’ll wear clothes when I’m good and ready. Besides its time for you to eat so stop fooling with that laptop now, Veronica.”


Recorder found food next to her laptop and set aside the laptop to eat the food then resumed this typing involving what was going on among her in the dining room of Jinks Montreal’s residence.


Recorder found Dalton original of Jinks Montreal clones as assumed despite some suspicion of him being a cloned copy. Dalton was seated next to her in his chair in Jinks’ head spot of the table officially referred as Jinks Montreal privately among the inhabitants not in his presence. Mostly referred as Dalton to his presence despite him seemingly in denial about being the original Jinks Montreal, as in source of the clones of Jinks Montreal, while taking the Lance Richard a god of the First Ones’ also known as an annoyance god by the High Council. Lance Richard’s title is known publicity among the Humans also known as First Ones by the High Council. Dalton according to Recorder was seated in his seat by the word of the butler, James manipulating him to sit there. Recorder found Dalton had fallen asleep while seated in his chair and appeared to be remembering something despite not displaying his Lance Richard persona. Recorder frowned as Dalton woke up to give up bah fits like he remembered something bad as said by the Meritanians Tank and Merra broadcasting to her once.


Recorder recalled Tank said to her once asked these questions “What’s going on with Dalton’s memories anyway? I thought he was aware of everything involving him and his cloning?”

Tank said “Dalton knows only from the moment he wound up having his horse shot dead which resulted in horse bones and then he knocked out to be put into a tube. Happened after he was sent back to Lance Richard’s time to help the High Council with a silly problem of getting a Highlander to lead a group. He doesn’t know anything involving his clones’ lives and we Meritanians are giving those memories to him to remember once we’re sure he’s sane enough to receive them. He’s a bit on the lunatic side from his time being in a tube for too long and hardly ever taken out. He prefers to call himself Dalton because he felt like Dalton, Lance Richard’s original son born to Lance Richard himself via another female hence he calls himself that. Don’t mind his hissy fits he gives because he’s getting memories of his clones from us. So don’t ask us again or we’ll dump you and thingy into the pool. Ha-ha.”


At the moment according to Recorder, Tank went into a laughing fit which Recorder figures out that Lance Richard was mean to the Meritanians aka setting off his earthquake powers. Hence Meritanians retaliating against Lance Richard for that by making his own offspring Dalton suffer from memories of bad things done to his clones in his mind. Hence his hissy bah fits in response to those memories appearing to be bad enough to bother him.


Recorder resumed typing onto the laptop this scene till Recorder once again interrupted by Tim kissing the side of her neck and rubbing her back-


Recorder found Tim managed to get her to stand up and form turned around for a lengthy kiss on the lips.

Tank’s blaring voice heard in her mind “Enough of that kissy face ritual. The High Council wants you, Timmy, into their presence.”

Recorder found Tim in response breaking off the kiss and snarling “Only Veronica can call me Timmy and no one else.”

Recorder doesn’t say a word in response as Tim disappears into a light show indicating Meritanian transportation when she resumes typing onto the laptop her story only to hear “Veronica, why don’t you make that story involving your favorite person Tom himself?’

Recorder found the voice spoken that question was Barry, aka clone of Jinks Montreal and Barry the Builder some lame Humanoid who went around via cane speaking gibberish like language as a compeller.


Barry as he calls himself wound up appeared to have used the kissy face ritual between her and Tim to read her story on the laptop.


Recorder gave Barry an all black eyed glare in response only to get him flaring his evil eyed look of golden eyes and giving her a “Confess your crime” glare.

Recorder didn’t comment a response to that talk instead heard Dalton giving off one of his bah fits again as Barry continued “Just don’t want to be reminded of my brothers’ and myself as Barry or whatever name, living in whatever this planet is called and their demise by the High Council soon after the group left the planet. Hence I, Barry living on as a survivor of those four in a body form as Jinks Montreal’s clone.”


Recorder cleared her throat loudly while still flaring the Source her all black eyed glare in response only to get Barry speaking Compeller’s chatter which she was compelled to speak “Alright I’m out of ideas for a story at the moment hence I typing whatever comes to mind memories, including what I’m doing at the moment.”

Recorder found Dalton in response giving off a loud Bah Hah comment of a Shadonian, before they devolved into Tennans, some bugged bird faced antenna like humanoid hive species that don’t seem aware of their former lives as Shadonians.


Recorder remembers that Dalton’s fits involves the clones are like a hive species via memories which one clone knows all clones of the same person knows. Meaning all Dalton’s clones have memories that all of the Daltons know and are put into the current Dalton by the Meritanians hence his lunatic bah hah fits. Recorder figured she was spared of that hive cloning mentally but suspects her dreams in bed involved something of memories fully in mind. Sometimes Recorder remembers those memories other times she doesn’t remember them.


Recorder looked at Dalton while giving him a glare only to get him speaking some memory involving Lance Richard appeared to be raised by someone else than his actually mother.

Recorder typed it down onto one file and wound up saving it onto another file called “Mordred.”

Dalton made his story seemed like it was involving King Arthur’s son Mordred returning from the dead. King Arthur in case anyone wants to know is an ancient Earth legend in a nation of Great Britain.


Recorder wound up of needing to have something to type.


Recorder interrupted by again another kiss on the neck by Tim doing it.

“P.U!” Recorder heard from Dalton finding the male was holding his nose indicating some stinky smell.

Recorder gave Dalton a glare of annoyance-


Recorder found Tim managed to pick her up and ignored her pleas of “Put me down now!”

Tim according to Recorder managed to get her into her bedroom’s private room into the shower stall for a shower and cleaning including a familiar sexual ritual involving touching each other all over the place and doing mating behaviors. Tim wound up ending it by getting Recorder out of the shower stall and dried then clothes put on again that were the same as ever. Sweat shirt, sweat pants, omitting undergarments and slip on flat shoes and hair dried by hair dryer in the wall watched by Tim standing with arms folded, he appearing to be amused by it. Recorder found Tim appeared to not have any hair anywhere on his body including his head hence his Souler appearance on his face despite having Human black eyes. Recorder also noticed that Tim’s arms were appearing to be bony with tight skin over it and not many muscles despite a muscular form elsewhere including yummy abs for rubbing and feeling via hands. Recorder found Tim followed her to the dining room to back to the laptop computer she spied Barry nosily reading its contents.


Recorder gave Barry a glare of annoyance and spoke loudly “Don’t make me make you a character in my story to kill you off.”

Barry, to Recorder’s disgust shrugged and flicked laptop towards her side of the table and got from the male speaking in response “Just can’t help it when I feel like I father you when I’m not.”


Recorder gave up a sound of disgust and went to the laptop computer to resume typing, including this scene down followed by trying to figure out what else to type than Tim pacing in the dining room in front of her. Tim seemed annoyed about something and was pacing ignoring Recorder watching.


Recorder thought of typing this down till Dalton’s bah fit interrupted Recorder’s typing he appearing to have the Source in control and appearing to be having a headache by hands gripping the area. Recorder frowned as Dalton kept on gripping his head she noticed he was grimacing and groaning loudly. Barry, according to Recorder wasn’t concerned by that painful status Dalton was displaying. Instead was giving Dalton a familiar glare involving something criminal.


Recorder found Dalton quit the grimacing to speak using the Source’s voice “I wasn’t given the Source and its uses before I wound up in a stinking tube. Hence the Meritanians are giving me painful memories involving how my clones figured out how to use it. Those memories they give me always gives me headaches. Head pains to indicate it’s my mind scanned. I can’t do a thing about it at all.”


Recorder heard Barry speaking Compeller’s chatter to find Dalton disappearing in a light show to hear snickering like laughter from Merra sounding in her mind. Merra habitually broadcasts within Recorder’s mind despite broadcasted elsewhere to whoever cares to hear her.

Recorder spoke loudly “Barry, what did you do to Dalton?”

Barry gave her a golden eyed glare in response and refused to answer that question instead shut his eyes and formed his familiar concentration look involving seeing via an All Seeing One God within his mind.


Recorder was forced to guess that Barry had Dalton transported via Meritanian means to the pool in the attached building to be dumped into. Hence Merra’s laughter sounding in her mind for Merra always makes sure that Recorder hears what’s she’s broadcasting about.


Recorder suspects that Tank is broadcasting onto Tim himself hence Tim’s hissy fits of pacing and rubbing his head like he’s doing at the moment and acting like he’s angry about something and isn’t going to say what it is.


Recorder wound up typing this scene out of needing something to type.

Tim again interrupted Recorder to indicate it was time to eat food as said by him “You need to eat, Veronica.”


Recorder obeyed to eat her food but kept her laptop onto her lap folded out of hand’s shot of Barry and his stinking noisiness. Recorder noticed that only Tim had a liquid diet of a brown drink indicating it as cocoa and nothing else. Dalton and Barry, like Recorder, was given regular foods grown from Australia Atoll on one of those islands.


Most of those Humans living on planet Aire left the planet with other species once the Annoyov Barack Station was abandoned to elsewhere. Not sure where those Humans went, but sure its not planet Earth, aka Terra according to Barry. He noticed the planet is underneath High Council’s control, by the Highlanders calling themselves Elf or Elves for more than one.

He also according to him during bites of food mentioned “I noticed that Tom via Terra has appeared to have some ability to jump all over the place while having his Berserker side in control. Sort of like an acrobat or a gorilla from the looks of him.”

Barry heard speaking “I think the High Council took Mindbender” as he calls Tom “with them as their perfect servant who has undivided loyalty-”

Tim heard giving off a sound of disgust loudly but ignored by Barry who keeps speaking “They must have done something to Mindbender, medically to make him able to jump around like an acrobatic monkey including involving his Berserker side in control. I got suspiciousness that they altered his eyesight involving seeing in the dark from the way he’s acting seeing gonoids and avoiding them at night.”


Recorder finished eating and didn’t comment a response instead resumed typing onto the laptop and figured that Barry had a point of making the story involving her Tom.


Recorder interrupted by Tim again kissing the side of her neck making her annoyed with that interruption and him speaking “What are you typing?”

Recorder heard Barry speaking Compeller’s chatter, found she speaking “Just a story involving my Tom.”

Recorder got Tim in response flaring golden eyes along with flexing a bony clawed hand into her face and snarling in some angry voice tone growling indicating his Berserker side in control. It’s only seen by his eyes turning golden like a Compeller. Recorder not sure of what mental abilities that Tim seemed to have.

Dalton heard speaking “I thought Tim was yours, Veronica. Who’s this Tom you’re referring to anyway?”

Recorder figured out what Tim was indicating figured she’ll type more lately….


Recorder once assuring Tim “You’re my Tom I’m referring to as My Tom!”

Tim appearing to agree after doing a mating ritual involving some sexual act of intercourse in private into her bedroom. Tim seemed fine with that mating ritual when Recorder did it to him lying there staring at the ceiling he appearing to be upset with something. Recorder wound up doing that mating ritual as a result during a break of typing.

Recorder once done with the mating ritual kissed Tim on the lips and spoke “You’re my Tom!”

Tim didn’t flare his Berserker side in control in disagreement instead said “I sort of agree.” Sounding distracted like he’s remembering something bad.

Recorder once in bed clothe covering form with a still loin clad Tim in response heard her Tom speaking “I got a memory involving this Tom I’m not sure what it means.”

Recorder spoke in response “Come with me to the dining room while I go type this down.”

Tim gave up a sound of disgust in response to Recorder’s talk only to hear a door knocking sound on the bedroom door.

Tim according to Recorder spoke “Answer the door, Veronica. It’s your room.”

Veronica obeyed to answer the door finding Barry holding her laptop in hand in nearly folded position but still saving her work once checked.

Barry spoke once handing Recorder her laptop “I figured you’ll need this.”

Recorder caught the smirk on Barry’s face to figure out that he spied onto Recorder and Tim’s mating ritual in the bedroom using his All Seeing One mental ability.

Recorder felt disgust hit took the laptop and spoke with disgust in her voice “Thanks Barry.”

Recorder shut the door and went to the bed to sit down opening the laptop and typed this down and eyeing Tim to speak something involving his memory despite throat clearing noises sounded loudly multiple times.


Recorder after speaking “Tim!” got Tim after a lengthy pause spoke his story in response which was saved onto another file onto the trusty laptop.


Tim ended the story according to the Recorder but didn’t say anything else. Instead appeared to have fallen asleep while lying on the bed with Recorder.

Recorder heard in her mind Merra’s voice speaking “Nighty night smarty.”

Recorder felt sleepiness hit figured that it was time for bed and will type more lately…..


Recorder woke up to alarm clock blaring loudly to find Dalton had appeared to not taken the air mattress as Barry was no where in sight via armchair.


Dalton was seen coming out of Jinks’ bedroom looking annoyed and grumpy to Recorder on the way to the dining room in the hallway. Recorder went to the dining room to find Barry already inside with eyes shut and he forming his familiar concentration looks indicating peeping onto people like a peeping tom idiot. Recorder felt no compulsion to insult Barry just wanted to call him an idiot for his nosiness. Humph.


Recorder wound up eating breakfast as Tim drank his meal then went to sit down next to her appearing to be peering off her shoulder at her typing to her annoyance.

“You’re annoyed?” Tim heard speaking.

Indicated he was reading over her shoulder like a rude person.

“Hey I’m not rude! I’m just curious as to what story you got published already for me to read!” says Tim.

Barry heard speaking “Check the library, Tim. There are books already there by Veronica Thomas-”

He was interrupted by Tim speaking “I meant my Veronica Thomas here’s works and not her previous title holder’s personal works.”


Recorder found Tim once again peering over her shoulder as in standing and peering while she typed this down along with trying to bribe her with kisses onto her neck as he kept onto doing this nosiness.

“Tim, get off from peering onto my shoulder and go do something else!”


Barry heard “Just type a story for him to read and ignore his nosiness.”


Recorder obeyed to type a scene down as narrated by Tim speaking it in her ear involving what he said to Recorder in her bedroom. Recorder didn’t protest to Tim’s tale speaking it while reading over her shoulder as she typed this. Tim felt kissing her neck again from the feel and is rubbing her back indicating another kissy ritual involving Barry to snoop.

“Barry, stay out of my laptop and contents!”


Recorder obeyed to Tim’s kiss only interrupted by Barry speaking “Tim, go practice karate with Dalton. You both need the exercise.”

Recorder also got ordered by Barry insisting “Veronica, hit the gym room. You need the exercise. Sitting typing all day isn’t good for you.”


Recorder found while doing karate underneath Barry’s drilling towards Tim and Dalton that Tim was distracted like he was recalling something bad. Hence Tim attacking punching bag with furiously angry behavior including full body attack. Dalton seemed to not be spared of this memory thing by giving the punching bag a twin behavior.


Barry seemed to be ignoring that and ordering Recorder to keep on kicking and punching the bag. Recorder obeyed despite not remembering much involving Victoria’s life when doing karate. Instead let her body do the karate movements like automatically having muscle memories of it.


Recorder got relief from the karate by Barry ordering her out of the gym room and insisting “Tim and Dalton stay. I need to practice karate myself and I need sparring partners. I refused to hit a woman anyway.”

Recorder figures to her “I’ll take opportunity to type onto the laptop.”

Recorder wound up going to the dining room to type onto the laptop till her notice a pop up button for her email from the High Council that sends her files to type or edit.


Recorder wound up finding this file included a story she’s including in a typing file-


Recorder got interrupted by Tim giving her a kiss onto her neck and avoiding reading over her shoulder. Instead Tim was seen flopping into chair groaning loudly and appeared to be tired from the karate with Barry and Dalton. Recorder wound up thinking of this scene in response to Tim’s sitting.


Recorder wound up finishing this scene and thought of something else involving Tom Thunder in case Tim is peering over my shoulder reading this. Recorder gets interrupted by Tim again kissing the side of her neck and speaking out loud her story paragraph to her disgust. Recorder found Barry in the room appearing to be seated at a dining chair giving her a familiar glare. Dalton appeared to be asleep in his dining chair and ignoring everything around him.

Recorder wound up speaking this line “You drove Tim and Dalton hard with your karate drills and sparring didn’t you? Hence Tim acting tired once he sat down?”

Recorder gave Barry a Source glare that shut his eyes in response and appeared to be asleep in his chair. Recorder looked at Tim with annoyance finding him sitting in his chair and appeared to be asleep ignoring that he nosily read over her shoulder.


Recorder found only an hour passed since breakfast and that lunch isn’t served until declared by the butler. Recorder wound up typing this scene out of boredom…


Recorder typed a story saved onto another file via compulsion of the Meritanians manipulating her. Mostly via the snickering voice of Merra sounding in her mind including indicating the plant told a joke again. Barry and others are still asleep in their chairs. Appeared the Meritanians knocked them out so they won’t yell at the plants for telling a joke again. Dalton habitually yells bah when Meritanians play jokes onto him. Tim just flares golden eyes and rubs his bald head. Barry gives off a familiar groaning noise in response. Recorder, Veronica Thomas in response types it down and doesn’t give a damn what the Meritanians are doing to her. Just as long as she gets to type anything down for her story. Hit with compulsion again.


“Damn Meritanians!” Manipulated Recorder to type a ridiculous scene down saved onto another file for something.

Now hit with another compulsion. Recorder doesn’t find this funny at the moment. Meritanians still heard snickering in her mind.


Only to hear snickering “Veronica Thomas, your wanted in the Zesky Asylum.”

Sounding in Tank’s snickering like voice tone to get compelled to stand up holding laptop.


Recorder found herself in Zesky Asylum meeting the figurehead ruler Eric as he’s dubbed sitting in his office still giving off hissy fits of roaring. Recorder wound up sitting down in response to Eric’s roaring hissy fits as Breaker his bodyguard is seen putting a hand onto Eric’s shoulder looking concerned. Recorder felt compelled to open laptop and type onto laptop what’s going on with her and what’s going on with Eric.


Recorder found Eric in response quitting the hissy fit of roaring and speaking “Just type what I want to tell you story wise and ignore my roaring.”


Recorder obeyed to type this scene or memory of Eric as told by him despite his roaring she saved onto a file labeled “Eric Book Series.”

Recorder figures the story that Eric is talking about is regarding him being a world named Terrania that got changed to Terra with Humans and Elves aka Highlanders in it.

Recorder saved that story a memory Eric talked about as “Eric Book Series: Eric’s Journal.”

Recorder not sure if Eric is actually the Eric from Terrania via story or a clone of him fully with memories of him.

Eric seems to balk answering questions aimed at him by Recorder asking him “Are you the one from Terrania telling this story? Anything you want to admit hmm? How did you get from Terra to Aire if its, you actually?”

Recorder found Breaker in response to Recorder’s questions speaking for Eric “Eric, go to bed. You need the sleep by your roaring noises indicating it.”

Eric heard speaking “I (roar) got (roar) lots (roar) to (roar) about (roar).”

Eric was seen by Recorder shaking his head and indicating a sleeping status to Recorder despite glimpsing tears spilling from his eyes.


Recorder wound up hearing Breaker speaking Compeller’s chatter to find herself tossed backwards off chair to land onto hard floor hard. Recorder found herself in the presence of the High Council with the High Council’s familiar servants Anubis and Falcons. Including the speakers Shad and Onya who appeared to have some kind of mind of their own by them glancing up to stare at Recorder with grimaces seen. High Council behind Speakers wound up going into a lengthy hand waving discussion as she noticed Anubis holding onto her trusty laptop. Recorder figured out that the High Council was nosy for her stories involving her laptop and had a hacker transport everything onto her files into their computers hence it in their presence with her there.


Recorder can’t do a thing involving this joke status instead Shad heard speaking to her mentally “Their discussion is sounding like the High Council of the old.”

Recorder didn’t say a word or think of anything in response as Shad was heard verbalizing “Ramses transport Recorder and her laptop back to her residence.”

Anubis to Recorder’s relief handed her laptop and got transported to Jinks Montreal’s residence via dining room.


Tim seen wound up giving Recorder a hug and a lengthy kiss on the lips despite she tapping him onto the shoulder he hugging too tight to gag her. Recorder found Tim in response going to sit down and ignoring being a gentleman of pulling out a chair for her despite multiple throat clearing noises.

Dalton heard “Just sit down, Veronica.”

Recorder obeyed to sit down next to Tim and began typing down what happened to her involving her visit to Eric, till a compulsion to type something else hit to her disgust.


Recorder found the Meritanians’ control ended when willing forwards the Source and speaking mentally “‘Shield.”

Meritanians heard snickering in her mind in response till she felt another compulsion to type hit. Found shield command not working as she again typed another story this time saved onto another file.


Recorder annoyed with the Meritanian manipulating her to type what they want her to type. But figured it involved a memory of something that she should know via hints. Still compelled to type something to her disgust.


Recorder isn’t sure what the point of this story is for it reminds her of something else instead involving the use of Tom.

Recorder figured out to herself with Merra mind scanning her comment “You got memories of other Meritanians on other worlds? Hence this scene of Tom visiting Rakcara with a fighter and being friendly with the natives, some Human species that later knocked him out unconscious?”

Merra in response wound up blaring “Actually some of the natives from elsewhere have come to planet Aire for sanctuary from the Elves and to stay as Humans. They’re carrying messages from plants elsewhere indicating this joke status that the High Council is doing to the Rakcara planet. Rakcara planet is still controlled by machines run by Humans doing the dirty work. The High Council after kicked out sent Tom their trusty servant to Rakcara to investigate the planet when their signals were ignored. Hence I telling you this joke scene you call it but unfortunately Tom wound up cloned by the Rakcaran naives aka Human caretakers with original sent back to the High Council. I’m surprised the High Council didn’t catch that cloning joke in the first place. It was the Rakcaran species that invented that cloning technology the High Council had the natives of Zesky Asylum copy and do with blackmail threats. The High Council from what I know of them is still clueless that Rakcara was originally a planet dubbed Mars in the Humans’ planet system involving Earth that got filled up with machines from the Humans doing it.”

Recorder wound up not questioning Merra in response as she again got a compulsion to type something obeyed.


Recorder interrupts this typing disgusting her with a sound of disgust only to hear a snickering like laughter sound in her mind via Merra. Recorder wound up feeling disgusted to type a scene as she again gets hit with another compulsion.


Recorder annoyed with the Meritanians for not getting her point of typing a story she wants to know what’s going on with the plants and their thinking. Still compelled to type again.

“Meritanians! Get to the point of the story now! Quit manipulating me to type this joke down! Damn you Meritanians! I’m sick of this jokey status! Get to the point of this joke now!”

Recorder wound up typing something involving Eric’s story point of view on Terrania involving his clones’ point of view despite already having the story typed already. Eric managed to say it to Recorder till Recorder realized something in answer to her questions she asked Eric.

“Oh for crying out loud! Why can’t you have Eric who you just told me is actually the Eric from Terrania that came to Aire, tell me this story instead of you telling me this, you stinking Meritanian?!”

Merra as if knowing my thought speaks in “Eric is still asleep to bother to tell his story put down by Breaker after suffering a crying fit from your questions. It’s him who arrived from Terrania to Aire via clone form and not the original Eric actually. Alexei Zesky was too fond of his son Eric himself had him cloned and he’s currently telling various humanoids who care to listen his stories involving Terrania. Eric is suffering from memories of being the Eric on Terrania that is bothering him to keep it to himself. He prefers to tell anybody the stories including to the High Council as their dubbed despite Souler cloned forms destroyed.”


Recorder isn’t sure of what Merra is babbling about involving the Souler Council but got a memory of someone via eyesight screaming in the High Council’s throne room and causing a disappearance as the High Council’s word for death status onto the Souler Council.

Recorder frowned thinking “What’s with this memory in mind?” as Merra gave up a snicker.


‘Eric is still the assumed leader of the Zesky Asylum after your Tim dumped his disguise. Shame on Tim for doing that dumping without giving warning to it. What an idiot-” said Merra.

Recorder interrupts to yell loudly “Alright! Tim is not an idiot!”

Snickering like laughter is heard in response as Tim is felt gripping her shoulder and snarling “What joke did Merra say to you? I sensed her talking to you.”

Recorder wound up speaking a summary of the Merra’s talk in response along with her comment of what she typed and Merra’s response.

Tim’s response is “I’m not an idiot. I did try to warn the Soulers to get me out of that restraint of clothes but they refused to listen to me whining.

I kept on getting put off by them saying ‘You gave your words of loyalty so you’ll do what we say.’ over and over whenever I whined ‘Get me out of this confining joke clothes!’

I got fed up and started whining to the plants ‘Meritanians you’re to free me.’

I’m freed for now by some screaming Banshee heard in the Souler Council’s throne room yelling their head off and making the Souler Council’s demise as a result. Not sure when the High Council will demand me back into service. Yuck.”


Recorder got another compulsion to type wound up doing it onto a saved file involving Eric again but this time his relationship with a female named Raisa and their son Niyan. This time Eric is telling a story to his son Niyan like some bedtime story.

File story is labeled “Eric Book Series: Eric’s Journal.”


“Whose memory is this anyway?! I don’t remember Eric the one from the Zesky Asylum talking about this joke memory in question! What’s with this you stinking plant?! Get to the point now! Oh still compelled to type more stories. Ugh.”


“Argh you stinking Meritanian!” Recorder is hearing from Dalton along with comment echoed by Tim interrupting her typing.

That comment is popular among people whenever their given something joker memory by the plants.


Recorder found compulsion to type quit to her relief as she found the butler in the room speaking “I’m announcing lunch.”


Recorder quit typing to have lunch and again hit with another compulsion to type.

“Damn you stinking Meritanian! Argh! Stinking plant manipulated me to talk more on this Eric in Shadan’s planetary world’s stuff. Really don’t get it at all! Just don’t get the point!”


Wound up hit with an email popping up onto the screen interrupting my typing of this stupid story involving Eric calling he Kurpanov Kossman while living in Shadan as it was called back then. It sucks when I type this joke status down by Meritanian means.


I wound up opening this email and found this story included into it which I added onto Eric Book Series’ files.

It’s labeled “Eric Book Series: File on Eric’s clone.”

Story appears to be on a clone of Eric dubbed Kurpanov Kossman, a clone of two males put together into one body as ordered by the High Council according to the file. Wonder where this Kurpanov Kossman, went anyway and why he’s not at the Zesky Asylum serving the High Council.

Merra cuts in as if reading my thought “Kurpanov Kossman took the opportunity to get off planet Aire via an Earthari warship, as dubbed by the species calling Humans from Terra or planet Earth. I suspects that he wanted off from the memories of his time on planet Aire and out of the High Council’s servitude. I’m pretty sure he went to Terra aka Terrania for living as Kurpanov the Surrai. It’s where the High Council the original group went themselves after kicked out via Edenia and Humania doing it.”

Recorder thought of a question “What else did Kurpanov Kossman do I want to know?”

Merra in response gave up snickering like laughter in response.


Recorder types this after Merra’s joke of dumping her into the pool of Jinks Montreal’s residence inside the building via a greenhouse area and forced to swim laps in her clothes. Mostly till someone clapped their hands cutting off Recorder’s swimming to find Barry at the pool’s edge giving her a familiar Confess your crime glare with golden eyes.

“Jeez Barry!”


Barry managed to get Recorder to admit what she was conversing to the Meritanian, Merra along with dumped into the pool while treading water.

Recorder found Barry in response speaking “Get out of the pool now!”


Recorder obeyed to stand while wet all over as Barry spoke “Just hit the elevator for getting into my residence.”

Recorder obeyed finding Barry walking with her ignoring her wet status and kept on giving her glares of “Confess your crime” looks.

Recorder wound up speaking in response “Eric from the Zesky Asylum came to existence as a clone of the original Eric from Terrania complete with memories of that Eric. Hence he seemingly upset when I asked him nosy questions related to his identity.”

Barry didn’t say a word in response except kept on giving Recorder his familiar look.

Recorder added in response “Do I owe Eric from this planet an apology for my rude nosy questions?”

Recorder found Barry didn’t answer instead shook his head and quit the familiar look followed by groaning out she heard “Drat I still feel like Jinks via memories of him fathering Victoria enough to act like him. Damnation to the Meritanians and their jokes. Their still trying to make anybody remember what they should remember even if their clones of them or originals of the clones.”


Recorder found Barry in response disappearing in a light show followed by snickering of Merra to figure that he was dumped into the pool.


Recorder still wet went into Jinks’ residence via elevator to her room to find her trusty laptop onto the lap of Tim who was staring at it while clawed bony finger poking the keys.

Recorder gave Tim a glare and spoke loudly knowing that she shouldn’t jump to conclusions “Tim, were you given a laptop?”

Recorder frowned as Timmy her Tom spoke in response after putting aside the laptop “It’s your laptop actually. I was trying to access the internet via pointer moving manipulations. Just trying to find anything on those memories of Tom Thunder I keep on getting to my disgust via Meritanians’ manipulations.”


Recorder didn’t comment a response instead Tim got her into the bathroom into the shower stall for a mating ritual involving sex and clothes stripping along with babying each other all over with soap and shampoo. Recorder found Tim ended the ritual by getting out of the shower stall once he was cleaned of soap and shampoo without a word towards her like a rude person. She wound up forced to clean off the soap and shampoo then left the shower stall to put on her dried from the dryer clothes from laundry machine in the bathroom. Recorder frowned as Tim in response put on his loin cloth and followed her out of the bathroom to plop himself onto the bed while she wound up typing what happened to herself.


Recorder wound up going to the dining room with Tim following her like a lapdog him glimpsed behind smirking some look as if he’s seemingly admiring her backside and her seat. Recorder ignored Tim’s admiring to go to the dining room to sit down and found Barry no where in sight. Dalton was still sleeping in his chair with the cat curled up onto his lap appearing to be conked out despite displaying his Lance Richard persona.


Recorder wound up thinking to herself “What’s up with Dalton sleeping in a dining chair instead of a bed?”

Meritanians aka Merra heard her thought and broadcasted to her “Dalton is currently in denial about something he should acknowledge hence we put him asleep to get the message.”

This included a compulsion to type by the Meritanians heard snickering in her mind again.

“Blast you Meritanians!”


Wound up hit with an email popping up onto the screen interrupting my typing of this stupid story involving this Guardian of Life and Death whatever it is. It sucks when I type this joke status down by Meritanian means. I wound up opening this email and found this computer file actually three stories put together as one file.

I didn’t get a chance to read the stories entirely despite seeing the file labeled “Guardian of Life and Death, Books 1, 2, 3.”

Not entirely sure what’s it’s about but I figured I’ll read them later. Don’t have much to add for typing a story.


Tim is still seated next to me still wearing his loin cloth underwear while appearing to be hearing Tank’s familiar snickering, by his hands rubbing his head in some violent move. I can hear Merra laughing in my mind. She always making sure I hear her anywhere. It sucks.


Also Dalton appears to have fallen asleep despite displaying his Lance Richard persona when he’s snoozing. He’s appearing to be ignoring another residence cat dubbed Whitney for being King Winter’s favorite cat and being all white, getting onto his lap and tummy sitting onto his chest followed by the fur ball falling asleep while sitting on him.


Samantha, another cat all black, looks like she’s fallen asleep to me ignoring Whitney’s intrusion. Both cats look like they’ve fallen asleep on Dalton ignoring each other. Poor kitties, Samantha and Whitney.


At least she’s lucky she’s living here in Jinks Montreal’s residence kept inside and fed anything she wants including she getting the run of the place. Lucky cat.


Barry after awhile came into the room clad in clothes involving Jinks Montreal’s persona of entirely black involving pants and a button top in long sleeve instead of his familiar blue suit, white shirt, and red tie.

He didn’t comment a response to my question of “What’s with the clothes?”

Barry wound up sitting down ignoring my question and is currently seated opposite from me and just appearing to be concentrating onto anything he wants to see. It sucks when he’s like a peeping tom, peering at things inappropriate and keeps it up to my disgust.


As for me Veronica Thomas, I’m just bored enough to type what I could down including my thoughts-


Got interrupted by Merra’s blaring at me “Veronica, your wanted at the Zesky Asylum now.”

Will type more lately…


Recorder wound up transported to the Zesky Asylum was meeting this Souler female appearing to be some fortune teller in a large room after transported to there. The room had only rugged red floors and black walls with multiple Soulers scattered around the room but ignored Recorder appearing in sight via transportation.


Recorder wound up compelled to go to the female Souler who was seated crossed legged with intense all black eyes staring at her giving her the creeps. Recorder wound up creep out by her staring at her unblinkingly enough to want to get up and stand and walk away. One of the Soulers wound up putting a hand onto Recorder’s shoulder restraining her to a crossed legged position where she was forced to sit with the laptop onto her lap.


Recorder opened the laptop and forced herself to type this paragraph down out of not hearing anything from the female or indicating an explanation to her staring at her like a creepy person. Recorder wound up ignoring her staring to type her thoughts down-


As said via computer tablet:

Souler interrupted by yanking the laptop out of my lap and tossing it aside onto the floor where I was forced to focused onto the female creepy Souler.

She spoke in her voice sounding like she had the Source to me via cruel voice tone “You’re favored by the Meritanians.”

I didn’t answer her comment sounding like a statement and not a fact. I realized at the time that the Meritanians hadn’t bothered to transmit scenes of Victoria’s memories into my mind like their doing to anybody else on planet Aire. I also figured that planet Aire is full of clones of Humans sent to there to be cloned then with their clones leave once they pay a payment price to that cloning status of leaving an original clone behind. I wound up figuring that the Humans cloning themselves were doing it for a war or something involving surviving off as a family method while in the rigors of space via warships. Not sure which one is accurate. Anyway the Souler female appearing to be a fortune teller held up her hand towards me in a payment price method. I couldn’t think of anything to pay for her till I recalled my laptop that appeared to be useless from the Souler’s tossing it away from me.

I spoke in response “My trusty laptop I’ve been using for typing stories on it including files on it is for you to use as your payment.”

I found the Soulers one of them in the room picking up the laptop and fading from view without a word in response. I felt annoyed not having a laptop to type till the female Souler in response put her hand down and shut her eyes appearing to form a sleeping status while having head bowed.


It was when I got transported out of the Zesky Asylum into Jinks Montreal’s dining room and sat down while noticing Tim nearby was clad in clothes to my shock involving black sweats from the looks of it. He appeared to look annoyed to me. I wound up handed an advanced form of a laptop that involved recording my voice while automatically typing my words for me instead of finger typing onto keys.


Took me a bit to figure out how to work that thing using my voice and how to work on saving my work via voice commands instead of finger pressing onto the screen of the laptop.

“Computer tablet as its called.” blared by Merra.


Merra added blaring at me mentally “We favor you Veronica Thomas Incorporation as promised by a certain someone that was said to not to hurt us again with awful earthquake powers. This certain someone insisted that you be spared from the memories of remembering awful things as they call it via people living in Aire acting as clones. So don’t ask us this again or mention who it is to us or we’ll dump you and you’re thingy into the pool.”


I wound up not saying anything in response except Tim speaking “That someone is Lance Richard himself-”


I saw Tim disappear into a light show followed by hearing Merra’s familiar snickering sounding in my mind to my disgust. I found Barry in response giving a familiar “Confess your Crime” glare-


“Confess your crime look?” He interrupts me from speaking this comment rudely.


Barry wound up giving me another glare in response indicating something criminal despite overhearing me speaking this thought in response. Will speak more lately….


Humph I’m in my bedroom with Tim in my bathroom using my shower stall. Timmy got transported to the pool and dumped into it. He’s just showering the stink of pool water chemicals off his form involving some salt air stink.


Anyway Barry wound up getting me to confess to him “Your facial expression you give along with your golden eyes is indicating a confession. I call it confess your crime look because I and whoever always confesses wrongdoing to you soon after you give it to the person.”


I wound up dumped into the pool in response clothes and all with my computer tablet in my hands. I found that thing was waterproof enough to survive the dumping which I took the familiar elevator route to Jinks’ residence to my room to sit and wait for Tim to finish showering. He’s heard roaring while in there. Hear the door opening to the bathroom.

Tim’s roaring was yelling for me “Veronica, get into here and shower now!”


Tim got me into the bathroom for a shower and another mating ritual involving mouth onto privates this time instead of intercourse. Tim was seemingly more interested into that mouthing than intercourse. Once we were done with the mouthing Tim got out of the shower stall leaving me into there alone which I forced myself to soap and shampoo. I wound up washing off the pool’s salt stink and got into my clothes freshly cleaned from the laundry machine.


Tim stood watching me dry my hair off the hair dryer on the wall. I don’t get it why there isn’t a hand held dryer via plug socket or battery for me to use. I recalled that Victoria used one via memory of that popping unexpectedly but Merra isn’t laughing in my mind. Instead is elsewhere.


Timmy wound up following me out of the bathroom to the bed which I wound up speaking my thoughts down onto this computer tablet he appearing to be asleep and ignoring me speaking.

“Nighty night smarty!” I hear from Merra sounding in my mind.

This was followed by sleepiness hitting me. I’ll talk more lately.


Woke up via alarm clock around nine o’clock in the morning instead of an hour early by Tim ringing that thing. He appeared to let me sleep some more. Tim wound up getting me up from the bed by carrying me while I held the computer tablet. He ignored my efforts to have him put me down instead got me into the dining room for breakfast.


Barry was already there eating including Dalton who’s still looking grumpy as always. Sounds like he didn’t sleep very good-


Dalton interrupts “How can I sleep when I keep remembering various bad things happening to my clones as courtesy by the Meritanians?”


I, Recorder ignores Dalton’s comment to keep on speaking onto the computer tablet only to get interrupted by Timmy growling angrily-


My Timmy on confession told me once we were both in my bedroom in private “I remember the High Council mind raped Tom his memories followed by erasing everything involving his love towards Victoria including her put assimilated among the population among the natives without any memories of Tom entirely. She was apparently paired to this Mavis Petersen as her husband. Mavis is some Tom’s twin actually a son of his via a female Human put a baby version of Tom inside her via cloning to grow. It was just an experiment that the Humans invented when they did it to Lance Richard forming Jinks Montreal in the process. Something the High Council found out and was trying to recreate. Victoria was cloned forming you in the process as an experiment to see if she could be cloned. Her father raiser Jinks Montreal was successfully cloned which the High Council thought they would clone Victoria herself. They succeeded in forming you and tried to have you become an assassin of them. The assassination involved killing off Humans in some game the High Council was pulling onto Humans anywhere they can on planet Aire with servants to serve them into that. It’s a no wonder Edenia caught onto that game and kicked them out after ten lousy years of orbiting Aire. Don’t ask me why she took that long to figure out their joke status they were pulling onto Humans something she didn’t agree with and kicked them into space.”


I managed to get him into my bedroom after pleas of telling him “Timmy, come with me now!”

This is followed by me speaking to Timmy “What’s bothering you?”

He wound up admitting what I said via him refusing to let me record him onto the computer tablet for my records.

Instead he just told me the entire story and told me “You’re to repeat the story entirely for making sure your memory is good for remembering stories to talk to your thingy in question.”


Timmy at the moment is lying on my bed appearing to be either asleep or mediating and ignoring me speaking this story to the computer tablet. He’s fidgeting while I’m speaking onto this thing-


Timmy interrupted my speaking the story to yell at me “Stop talking about me and what I’m doing onto that thing now!”


I obeyed to take that thing into my bathroom to sit in the tub speaking this line. Door’s opening heard. Better get out as seen by a certain someone giving me a familiar confess your crime look.


I wound up out of the bathroom to the bedroom and to the dining room as ordered. Barry is still ignoring me speaking onto that thing. I ought to figure out how to manipulate the files involving this thing to see if any of my stories were saved onto this thing. Excuse me.


Took me quite a great deal of work to get my files back onto the computer tablet. I found nothing indicated of my files saved onto that thing. Humph had to go bug the butler James by yelling for him.


James arrived while giving off his familiar Tsk sound and I spoke “My computer files onto my old laptop can I have a copy downloaded onto this computer tablet now please?”

I gave James a glare who spoke “Certainly.”

He sounded of sarcasm to me instead of actually doing that order and faded from view to hide somewhere out of sight.


I was forced to yell to Merra mentally “Merra!”

Merra answered me by saying “Your files will be downloaded once their scanned and copied from your laptop despite the damage done by this idiotic Souler doing it. He’s an idiot and you know it. Doesn’t know a thing about technology and finds them useless enough to smash them with his fists. He’s an idiot-”

I interrupted “Alright Merra! I get the point! Quit broadcasting this talk to me!”

Merra ignored me speaking this instead kept on blaring “Don’t blame me for this attitude. He came upon this attitude himself as Truthseeker some hybrid Freeloader Human Banshee bit. He thinks technology is useless because of what happened to his son Tom Thunder himself being cloned and copies turning out to be suffering terrible disasters. Hence Truthseeker as you refer him thinking this ridiculous attitude.”


I wound up giving off a sound of disgust and went to the living room to find Barry sleeping on the couch with a cat appearing to be Whitney seated on his front giving off a meow sounding of “Don’t disturb.”


I went to my bedroom in response only to hear Tim yelling for me “Veronica!”

I went to the dining room to find Tim holding a device appearing to be some computer disk in his hand and telling me “The butler handed this to me when he couldn’t find you.”


I figured out what the computer disk was and hooked it onto my computer tablet. Took me quite some time to download everything from the disk onto the tablet, as I refer it now.


Timmy in response wound up taking the disk away and yelling for James who arrived and took it away followed by going out of sight. I went to sit down and thought I would speak this entry in response-


Barry interrupted me by speaking “Tim, Dalton and Veronica attention hut into the gym room for karate practice now!”

We all obeyed to practice karate despite Barry still balking on using me for sparring practice involving fighting. This time he had Dalton act out as an attacker attacking me into lock holds and grabs to have me see if I could free myself using karate.


Some of the karate I used was pretty good but other times some of the karate turned out to be useless. Such as Dalton trapping I by arm around my neck and grabbing my hair from behind that was cut short.


My efforts to grow my hair long have been always balked by the men of Jinks Montreal’s residence including my Timmy who insisted on it short period.


I found I couldn’t free myself from Dalton’s trapped status despite whatever karate I used including the Source’s abilities till Barry gave me a familiar glare and got me freed by verbalized order.


It’s when I was forced to confess to the men in the gym room “Jinks pulled this trapped status onto his own daughter multiple times when trying to control her having a tantrum. I found I can remember that his daughter couldn’t free herself no matter how angry she was. He only freed her when she was sensed calming down from her hissy fits and never bothered to teach her how to free herself.”


Barry wound up speaking “Dalton, teach Veronica how to free herself from that trapped status.”

I found Dalton again balked doing it once he had me into a trapped status and freeing me instead of doing the teaching. I also found that Dalton wound up kneeling in front of us and rocking his form with tears spilling from his eyes. It was when Barry kicked Timmy and I out of the room by Compeller’s chatter which we left and Timmy shut the doors.


Timmy wound up following me to the dining room where he’s currently sleeping in a chair appearing to look passed out from the karate. I was too wound up from the exercise to sleep so I wound up speaking this onto the tablet-


Interrupted by James’ familiar Tsk sounding in the room.

The butler indicating to us both “You should be in your bedroom resting instead of sleeping in the dining room.”

I found Timmy gave resistance to being woken up till I grabbed him via the private and yanked waking him up giving me a golden eyed glare. The butler wound up speaking in my defense his familiar line. Timmy didn’t say a word in response followed me into the bedroom where he plopped himself onto the bed and appeared to have passed out unconscious.


I heard nothing from the Meritanians involving sleeping so I resumed speaking my thoughts onto the tablet while seated onto the armchair.

Oh see an email icon on the tablet indicating “You have mail.”

Better see what it is.


Humph! Turns out the email was a message from the Soulers as indicating it via the Zesky Asylum.

Message said from what I remember “You’re to read the files we send you via email and repeat the contents onto your file for voice for your memory testing. We expect a perfect memory recall involving this test. This tablet is downloading a virus to erase this email once opened.”


I wound up saying in response via voice email sent to them “Anything else you expect me to do? Kindly let me know ASAP.”

I wound up speaking this in response to my file. They haven’t bothered to reply to my email yet. I’m not even sure if this stupid tablet is actually sending this email to their computers or not. I’m still clueless if this tablet is powerful enough to send email to anywhere on planet Aire. Not sure of Mister Montreal’s internet connection in his residence.


Besides I used my own internet connection via laptop when shooting people emails including sending the publishing house Anna Alina Publishing my finished drafts of stories I finished as Veronica Thomas.


I’m not sure if I’m the only one known as Veronica Thomas planet side. I think there are others using the Veronica Thomas name for businesses I keep finding online involving some Incorporation involving publishing stories and scholarships for writing planet side here for Humans visiting to learn to become a writer then leave off planet.


Seems planet travel is still on going at the moment but Humans are appearing to be living off warships in space instead of living on planets. Not sure what’s with that despite some feeling of being known by another name.


I’m not entirely sure of what’s with that known status involving that name hitting me. I know I was known as Veronica Thomas but I suspect that people have taken the Veronica Thomas name as an Incorporation hence I’m forced to think of using another name for myself to identify myself.


“Try the name of Victoria.” As suggested by Merra blaring into my mind.

How did Merra come up with that thinking of that name of Victoria when’s it’s the name of Jinks Montreal’s daughter or cloned offspring? Weird-


Recorder interrupted with a blaring headache by the Meritanians and got memories of herself as Victoria Montreal Thunder wife of Tom Thunder but unsure if her Tom is still around on Aire.


Snickering laughter is heard by me in response to that thought by Merra and Tank broadcasting into my mind. How annoying!


End Computer Tablet files.


Laptop Files by Diary of a mad woman:

Thoughts of Victoria Montreal Thunder aka Recorder as she typed this down after a whole month of using the computer tablet and getting a perfect score on memory recall according to the High Council.


Question where did the Souler Council went to? Humph! No one’s answering that question at the moment. Ugh.


Recorder discovered the Meritanians’ favors towards her has ended be repeatedly gaining memories of various clones into her mind despite the head pain of the mind scanning. Jeez Meritanians?!


Anyway Tim wound up transported out of Jinks Montreal’s residence “He’s gone elsewhere.” according to Barry the residence Jinks Montreal’s title holder “He’s got transported to a tube. It appears the High Council is resuming tubing people they find important for their purposes to annoyances of people.”

How annoying!


Recorder noticed she seemed to have an auditory problem of hearing voices into her mind that sounded like something else than just the Meritanians’ talk.

Recorder asked Barry this question “What’s with the auditory hallucinations I seemed to be having?”

Barry wound up in response spoke “Seems your part telepathic or mind walker status hence your hearing noises in your head that’s auditory hallucinations which Humans call by the term schizophrenia. Something you seem to have at the moment with no cure to cut it off. The auditory hallucinations are why’s you’re out of tube status and freed to remain elsewhere via containment to type down what you hear.”


Recorder wound up finding that talking voice into her mind is insulting her including seemed to be a personality into her mind like her mind has two personalities into her. One involving herself as Victoria and the other is auditory hallucinations a side affect of her telepathic abilities something she’s not sure of.


Recorder wound up mostly writing down what’s the voice is saying that typing it down. Recorder prefers to type stories to typing down the voice’s commentary involving the auditory hallucinations-


I got interrupted by Barry snarling “Son of a gun!”

I eyed Barry in response with all black eyes of my Source in control that gives off roaring lion noises within my mind once put back via wall up into the mind.

I keep getting fooled by the auditory hallucination’s voice saying “Shield down!” indicating the Source in control.

This is something I have to shut my eyes in response and see if the wall is up via Source in back of my mind. Screw the auditory hallucination! Ugh-


As for Barry snarling his wording he spoke in response to my question “What’s going on with you?”

He said “My all seeing one god ability involves memories of the previous Jinks title holders and no longer seeing anywhere else. I did see one of the brothers of Barry himself become the original Barry title holder but he’s still privately takes the name of Ned Garry but not in front of the High Council who still call him Barry.”

I wound up saying in response “Seems the High Council has a routine and don’t like it broken.”


Barry or should I say Jinks spoke gibberish then spoke his familiar “Son of a gun!” comment.

It seemed his Builder’s voice talent ability was cut off probably by the High Council’s orders towards their Barry title holder Ned Garry himself.


Jinks I’ll call him wound up leaning back with eyes shut and appeared to be acting like Dalton himself via snoozing in the chair forming Dalton’s familiar grimace. I wound up assuming that Dalton’s memories of his time as Jinks Montreal got transmitted to this clone in question hence his behavior. I’m not sure of what name to call this Jinks other than Dalton-


I wound up interrupted by a kiss off the side of my neck including onto my cheek to find a Humanoid flesh muscular version of Tom Thunder wearing black sweats and long black hair sit down next to me in the chair the source of the kisser. I wound up frowning while eyeing Tom as I assumed was him and not that Tim persona. I’m not sure which Tom Thunder he’s acting this time-


Someone asked this question “What do you, Tom, remember just prior to your arrival to planet Aire or whatever name it’s called now?”

This someone was a Meritanian dubbed Merra heard blaring in the mind of Recorder. Merra appeared to be broadcasting to someone else like her Tom besides the Recorder.


Recorder wound up not typing much in response instead kept on staring at the laptop during breaks of typing this commentary down. She wound up hearing a throat clearing noise sounding. Recorder heard Tom speaking a story as typed down.


Recorder typing this scene noticed the storyteller is staring off in space like he’s thinking of something deeply that is paining him. Recorder waits patiently while typing this down as the storyteller pauses lengthy despite throat clearing noises sounded loudly.


Recorder notices the source of the throat clearing noise is Dalton in a Jinks Montreal’s clone form seated next to a twin of Recorder who’s named identified later as called Yana Montreal who has paused from fiddling with her computer tablet.


In case anyone wants to know that I was cloned and given a twin named Yana Montreal who’s currently working as an author herself like I am.


I’m mostly author of stories said to me via typing onto the laptop and journaling entries involving my life as a schizophrenic.


It’s assumed that Yana is recording the storyteller’s talk like I am via computer laptop. I recording this scene including the memories of my husband or Victoria’s husband her mate and her Pharaoh Tom Mindbender Thunder seated who is next to her appearing to be lost in thought.


Dalton is seen giving her Tom a glare involving confessing your crime look according to Yana’s admittance saying “Dalton’s look is confess your crime look.”

Tom is just silent till an ear shattering meow was heard followed by a cat sounding excited sounded loudly and found the kitty managed to get onto the table despite Dalton yelling at “Fur ball to get off!”


The cat in response ignored Dalton’s yelling instead went to Dalton the cloned Jinks Montreal including the clone that fathered me and went to sit onto his lap. Dalton appeared to ignore the cat instead is staring at Tom with eyes all black indicating his Master’s as he calls the Source’s ability in control and looking annoyed like I am with Tom’s silence and breaking off the story abruptly.


Tom continued speaking after a lengthy silence of twiddling my thumbs during breaks of typing this.


Tom appeared to have felt himself upset again to pause from talking his tale. He wound up assumed he was seen rubbing his hands on top of his long haired head and running fingers through his long hair that can’t be cut. It’s a side effect from being Hades hence he’s got the long hair.


Tom made himself appeared to be remembering something bad hence his behavior according to me sensed peering at him via out the corners of my eyes. No one in the room didn’t say a word in response to make Tom, himself continue the story. Instead kept their mouths shut and waited silently Tom when he was ready to speak his story.


Tom wound up speaking his story despite anger sensed in his voice tone while still running fingers through his hair violently.


Tom paused according to Recorder from telling his tale and appeared to be displaying his Berserker side. His hands were clawed while running through his hair lengthy with silence.


Recorder figured it was best to keep her mouth shut and wait for Tom to speak further. Tom spoke after willing aside his Berserker side this time still using his first person talk of me. He kept up the talk with this comment added later for editing purposes to anyone who cares to read what I typed onto the laptop as in hacking it. Humph!


Tom paused from telling the story according to the Recorder. This time he was seen willing aside his Berserker look and kept on rubbing hands onto his head of hair. He was appearing to be angry about something and refusing to admit what was bothering him.

Despite Yana kept saying “Talk on what’s bothering you, Tom.”

Tom refused to answer according to Recorder as Dalton kept giving the male a golden eyed glare of “Confess your crime.”


Tom wound up speaking something else instead of admitting what’s bothering him. This time the story involved his containment at the Zesky Asylum contained in a tube. He wound up still using the first person talk but Recorder typed it into third person talk.


Tom spoke his story but this time spoke in an angry voice tone. Tom’s story as spoken word to word via Recorder changing it to third person’s spoken.


Recorder adds during a break of Tom telling his story by him pausing to rub hands through his hair like he’s upset with something. The residence cat that was in the room has gotten onto the dining table again and despite Dalton’s yelling got onto Tom’s shoulder and heard purring loudly.


Tom is silent ignoring the cat while appearing to have eyes shut and appearing to be mediating to me. He seems sensed angry to me. Recorder wound up typing this scene while waiting for Tom to continue the story.


A snickering laughter tone was heard into Recorder’s mind followed by hearing “Who are you anyway?”

Recorder typed her answer “I’m Victoria Montreal Thunder-“


Interrupted by Tom blaring “I’m Tom Mindbender Thunder the original Human version of the cloned copy of Tom created out of Nikolai the Human First One that was cloned by the High Council’s purposes.”


Recorder heard a click sound interrupting her typing and found Tom her love disappeared into a light show making her annoyed.


Recorder gave Dalton an all black eyed glare in response only to hear from the male “He was dumped into servitude of the High Council according to Tank’s blaring.”

I felt disgust hearing that talk only to hear from Dalton snarling “Screw the Meritanians!”

This was followed by Dalton disappearing in a light show.


The schizophrenic voice wound up chanting “Screw the Meritanians.” over and over to my annoyance.


I wound up given an image into my mind involving who I saw mistakenly was Dalton but not sure who he was.

The male was currently swimming in the pool from what the Meritanians are transmitting to me like a joke. Must be really angry hence he thrashing about in the pool splashing water all over the place. Pity!


Recorder didn’t comment a response only to find Yana’s throat clearing noises sounding loudly.

Recorder willed aside the Source and spoke “Yes Yana?”

Yana spoke in response “Shouldn’t you be joining him in the pool, Vicky?”


Recorder for the record hates the nickname of Vicky and prefers Victoria as her name instead hates the joke sticky Vicky.


Meritanians snickering in her mind and dumping her into the pool after forcing her to stand up.


Recorder once the opportunity to type this wound up typing this down after getting this gorilla faced Tom out of the pool. Recorder managed to get ape Tom into the locker room for women for a showering sex and examining his back as an excuse for that cloned symbol of belly button on the back.


Gorilla Tom’s nakedness did have that marking so he’s original as a gorilla like Tom’s version complete with gorilla like arms and legs.

Gorilla Tom once done with the mating ritual of him forcing me to have sex including him washing me all over quit abruptly by walking out of the shower room picking up his clothes and heard commenting “This is the women’s locker room.”


Recorder didn’t protest to gorilla Tom’s smarty wording instead showered and got into clean clothes via the laundry machine which was black sweats and slip on flat black shoes with no undergarments of socks or underwear. Seems like the Highlanders on Aire managed to get Humans to quit the socks and underwear wearing to Recorder’s disgust.


Highlanders were big on wearing no socks for feet coverage and no undergarments of underwear and a bra for boobs. It sucked when this wound up passed down onto the natives of Aire despite the planet is fully filled with clones nowadays. Hardly anyone planet side is original like myself and Jinks or Dalton as he calls himself including my Tom.


Gorilla Tom once he and I got into the elevator out of the pool’s room took it to Jinks Montreal’s residence as it’s called. He’s still living on as clones in Dalton is either a clone as a clone of him or an original still trying to find out.


Appears that Dalton is still the remaining clone of Jinks Montreal without Ramses doing his transportation trick onto them. He transported the clones of Jinks Montreal one at a time during certain time periods off planet Aire. Either by High Council’s orders or sick of the Lance Richard’s trick of using earthquakes onto the poor Meritanians. Pity!


Gorilla Tom wound up indicating the Meritanians giving him another memory into his mind. He was indicating of that via hands rubbing his head and running fingers through his hair into some yanking move.


Recorder didn’t find that amusing despite the Meritanians sparing her and Yana the memories to be filled into mind. Instead Recorder went to the dining room where Yana was fiddling onto the laptop despite her clearing her throat.

Yana spoke “Just correcting grammar and mistakes.”


Recorder decided not to protest to that instead wound up just sitting in the dining room chair typing onto the laptop her commentary via Gorilla Tom’s wordings she typed down.


Tom is heard giving off growling noises of his Berserker in control involving a muscular armored form like a gorilla ape.


He appeared to indicate the gorilla form hence Barry’s talk involving him jumping around like an acrobatic monkey. I suspect he was cloned with a gorilla and a human version of Tom to make him more monkeys like when’s transporting around via forests’ jungle. Ugh..


I wound up with a memory of the Meritanians snicking into my mind.

The memory involved a woman appearing to look twin to Georgina Visser speaking to Tom a humanoid version speaking “I want your words of loyalty.”

Human Tom via looks of him formed a sneer and spoke “You have my loyalty with sarcasm.”

I figured the woman was some version of Edenia by the green dress who spoke “I’ll give him the ability to will the Berserker in control without his scary side in control but left a price tag of blinding him temporary as long as I wants if he assassinates anyone-


Story of the memory wound up spoken and saved onto another file.


It’s the same with other stories that this Rakcaran Tom read out loud that my Tom remembered and spoken it to Recorder and whoever listening. Mother’s Diary is appearing to be twin to the story of this deaf slave servant of the High Council named Anastia from what I’ve read of her. Recorder isn’t sure of what really happened to Anastia despite finding records of her saying “Anastia disappeared.”


Not entirely sure of what it means and can’t find anything to explain it. Except assumed she went off planet Aire as in transportation of a Meritanian variety.


Dalton was seen giving Tom a glare with his eyes golden like he’s still has that Builder/Compeller’s eyed look.

Gorilla Tom wound up speaking in response “I’m just telling the story as compelled by the Meritanians making me speak this joke. Excuse me.”


Recorder didn’t say a word in response instead typed this down after a lengthy silence then heard Yana’s ahem noise.

Figured Yana’s noises meant “Continue the story, Tom.”


That was the end of the talk involving any Toms via Gorilla Tom’s mind that got transported out of the dining room.

Dalton wound up snarling “Servitude to the High Council again!”


I wound up joined by Ned Garry as he calls himself posing as Barry the title holders in the High Council’s throne room after getting a compulsion to fold laptop and stand up finding oneself in the room.


Barry was speaking via All Seeing One mental ability “I’m finding the Rakcaran Tom according to Tom the gorilla’s story is real. He’s via what’ve seen involving Tom’s memory had quit talking and was appearing to be lying onto the floor on his back. I focused onto the Rakcaran version as if drawn to find the male was just lying on the floor as the gun weapon’s laser light was seen overhead him. I eyed Tom who appeared to be lying casually with an arm covering his eyes. I found Tom removed his arm appearing to look scaly skin like of a snake Humanoid and appeared to be focusing onto my eyesight’s view.

It made me shocked seeing that as Tom formed a golden eyed glare and spoke in Rakcaran language hissing away I heard ‘Quit staring at me you stinking battery.’

I found myself focused onto the ceiling as if drawn to find nothing indicate of a battery’s status instead resumed focus onto Tom who kept on lying on the floor ignoring the gun’s laser.

I wound up looking around via my eyesight within my mind as if drawn to mentally think ‘Where did the people go?’

I thought of other people only to find nothing came to my mind on where they went till I focused onto Tom who had managed to clasp his hands on top of his chest ignoring the laser’s lights flaring overhead.

Tom again hissed angrily ‘Quit the staring now!’”


Barry quit the seeing via his mental ability and gave Recorder a familiar glare indicating she should be doing something involving other than listening to his talk.

Recorder spoke in response “Yes, Barry? Something I can do for you?”

Barry spoke in response while still giving her a familiar glare “Should you be in bed asleep? As indicated by the butler in the room giving off his familiar Tsk sounds via Jinks’ residence?”


Recorder found herself transported to the dining room of Jinks’ residence to find the butler, James or clone of him in the room giving off loud Tsk sounds and looking annoyed who spoke “It’s time for the inhabitants of the residence to retire to bed now.”


Recorder found Gorilla Tom in response getting up while carrying the residence cat in his arms. Recorder followed Gorilla Tom to her own bedroom as Dalton was seen entering Jinks’ bedroom looking grumpy to her, as always.


Recorder carried the laptop into the bedroom and sat onto the bed typing this commentary till interrupted by a kiss on the side of her neck including hair parted for that. Recorder will type more lately….


Recorder adds via commentary that Gorilla Tom wound up getting her to bed asleep after getting her distracted from fiddling with the laptop. Instead Gorilla Tom got her laptop onto the bed stand and then forced Recorder to lie down and forced her eyes shut.


I fell asleep as ordered by a Meritanian saying their familiar comment of “Nighty night smarty.”


Recorder woke up via alarm clock and found Gorilla Tom lying in bed next to her that snatched her pillow and placed it on top of his head while rolling over onto his side. He heard groaning loudly in response. Recorder ignored Gorilla Tom and went to take a shower only to find him joined her inside her private bathroom.


The showering was mostly “Babying each other all over with soap.” as Gorilla calls the ritual after he asked me “Can I baby you with soap?”

It involves running hands over each other with the soap and soaping the person includes not sparing the privates or sensitive parts or the backs for that cloning symbol.


Gorilla Tom appeared to have a cloning symbol on his back despite some scarring in the area that makes one think his cloning mark was laser cut off attempts.


Tim doesn’t have that cloning mark whenever I examined him via babying instead appeared to have some shark small fin jutting from the area. I’m not sure if he’s partially shark with the water breathing or it’s just a side effect from the cloning attempts by the High Council to breed their super warrior.

I wound up asking Gorilla Tom “What do you see via back of me?”

He felt my back which I brought my hands onto the area and found the familiar mark wasn’t there but scarring indicating laser cut.

I figured to myself “The High Council cut the cloned bellybutton mark off my back to hide my cloning status from people when I was born.”


I voiced that to Gorilla Tom saying “I think I was born a clone with that mark via birthed through a human female with the High Council wound up laser cut that mark off of me as a baby. It’s mostly to hide that cloning status hence I don’t seem to have it now.”


Gorilla Tom formed a glare and flared his Berserker side in control and without a word stomped out of the shower stall to go dry he. I wound up joining him to dry and put on clothes.


After that Gorilla Tom got Recorder out of the shower to be dried and dressed.

We went to the dining room for breakfast.

“Yuck this is food grown in Australia Atoll.” according to Yana saying that.


Recorder ate her food then after that went to type this scene down. Hears Merra snickering in her mind to her annoyance. Feels a compulsion to close laptop and stand up. Will type more lately…


Recorder found her in presence of the male dubbed Jason by Gorilla Tom when’s I asked him “What’s with the name of Jason when’s he should be called Eric Zesky?”

Gorilla Tom who spoke “He’s dubbed Jason by the High Council for being a clone of someone they cloned originally and not that ridiculous Eric Zesky name.”


Jason was seated at his desk and still giving off roaring hissing fits. Recorder ignored the roaring and went to sit down typing this commentary down.


Jason as he’s dubbed is heard speaking “I got a memory of an Eric in my mind.”

Recorder figures out that he are a clone of this Eric despite given memories of this Eric by the Meritanians.


She wound up typing this story down as indicated by Jason she calls him speaking it and saved onto another file dubbed by Veronica Thomas Incorporation “Eric Book Series.”

Recorder wound up transported back to Jinks’ residence to sit into the dining room typing till the butler’s familiar Tsk was heard loudly.

“Yes James?” Recorder spoke.


According to the butler “its lockdown time for the inhabitants to be into their rooms while the Master is down asleep.”


Recorder wound up going to her bedroom to find Gorilla Tom lying on her bed with the residence black cat Samantha, as dubbed tummy sitting onto his chest he appearing to be asleep with eyes shut.


Recorder in response went to join Tom on the bed and refrained from commenting a word towards him due to thinking “He’s asleep and needs his rest.”

Recorder’s thinking was thought wrong by Gorilla Tom speaking “I got a memory as put there by the Meritanians doing it to whoever living on planet Aire as some joke.”

Recorder opened laptop and spoke in response “I’ll type that down as you want for records later.”

Gorilla Tom appeared to ignore her comment and went into his story.


Recorder found Gorilla Tom cut the tale by shaking his head and growling angrily “Argh you stinking Meritanian!”

Recorder found herself compelled to stand up while folding the laptop.


Recorder found herself in some place not familiar she recognizes as the Annoyov Barack Station’s Trading Center via description of Yana via persona of Commander of the Earthari or First Ones’ humans running the station as known as Yana Renova describing the area to me via memory popping into mind.


Recorder frowns but thinks to herself “There’s someone living here that wants me to record their story.”

Recorder found her hunch correct by going to the bar to sit putting the laptop and typing it down while hearing a stool next to her manipulated.


Recorder found she not alone in the station instead founds a Humanoid version of a snake via scaly skin of green with large yellow eyes in a gonoid form sitting next to her via stool with looks of Rakcaran Tom by his facial appearance. Recorder notices the snake humanoid is another version of Rakcaran Tom who is clad in a blue jumpsuit indicating cleaning to her while noticing a cleaning cart nearby she didn’t notice before. She wound up not commenting a word instead typed this down till the humanoid is heard speaking in basic.

“I’m called Tom Norok and this is my story to anyone who cares.” Recorder heard from the humanoid.


She kept her mouth shut and listened while typing this story down in response to Tom Norok’s tale.


Norok paused as if lost in thought seemingly lengthy to Recorder’s annoyance. She wound up typing this down out of needing something to do while Norok was pausing from speaking his tale. She kept her mouth shut into a thin line and focused onto the laptop till Norok was heard again speaking.


Norok paused from speaking his story instead is appearing to be staring at the bar’s top lost in thought like he’s thinking of something painful and is trying to get the courage to speak it.


Recorder wound up typing this down while waiting for Norok to continue-


That was the end of Tom Norok’s talk that without a word got up and went to the cleaning cart and walked away pushing to a mess of a spot of blood lying on the floor and began mopping it. Recorder felt confusion to why Tom Norok was living in the abandoned station only to feel fingers touching the side of her neck in some method that indicates a Drainer’s feeding. Recorder has to cut this typing and attend to the vampire seemingly in the mood to feed off of her.


Recorder found herself meeting a Drainer dubbed Aiden by description of him appearing to be into some feeding mood and refusing her efforts to listen to her speaking “Just save me for another day will you?”

Aiden proceeded to feed off Recorder as in vampire sucking via biting the neck area including putting a hand onto Recorder’s chest right onto the boob to her annoyance. Mostly via arm trapped status while doing the feeding. Aiden according to Recorder left her alive in response and wound up once done feeding licked her neck and then walked elsewhere while whistling like a Human. Humph!


Recorder felt dizziness earlier via the sucking and found herself forced onto a stool by Norok who spoke “Sit!”

Norok according to Recorder sounded like a Master ordering a dog when he spoke his command.

Recorder had no choice but to obey followed by Norok thrusting her cup into her hand and ordering her “Drink!”

Recorder sipped the drink finding it was milk via taste and sipped it up entirely while trying to avoid the compulsion of gulping it.


Once done drinking Norok ordered Recorder up and then Recorder found herself in the presence of the High Council with the High Council’s familiar speakers Shad and Onya there. Recorder didn’t protest as she sensed her laptop yanked from her hand and held by Anubis to figure out that they were downloading her files onto their computer via hacking methods.


Recorder felt annoyance take hold finding that happen instead found her handed the laptop and then transported to Jinks’ residence.


Recorder found no one in the dining room alone and went to type this down till a loud Tsk sound is heard sounding nearby of the butler. Will type more lately once I see what the butler requests me to do…


Butler via voice spoke “Its lockdown mode now, meant that the Master has gone to take a nap and requests residence to be contained in rooms asleep. Just to spare the Eli the computer for reporting people as intruders.”

Recorder wound up carrying laptop to her bedroom to find Gorilla version of Tom inside lying asleep on the bed.


Recorder isn’t sure if the name of Gorilla is suitable to name this Tom version but figures its insulting hence calling this Tom by the name of Tom.


Tom appeared to ignore her arrival instead remained asleep. He was appearing to be dreaming of something amusing by that smirk on his face. Recorder hopes he’s dreaming of her and nothing else.


She wound up going to the armchair to sit typing this down till the Meritanians compelled her to type down a story as narrated by them.


Tom heard grumbling hearing the story interrupted speaking “Go away and speak your story to someone else now!”

Recorder found Meritanians obeying to be silent before Tom shut his eyes to focus only to hear Merra speaking her story again.


Recorder ignored Tom’s repeated comments instead typed it down as feeling like needing to do it till she found herself landing onto metallic floor with an ooh sound. Recorder found her laptop still in her hands to find her files indicated of hacking and downloaded via the High Council doing it to her disgust.

Recorder typed this down till Shad was heard speaking “Transport Victoria out now!”


She found the Meritanians obeying to land onto her bed with an ooh sound and found Tom no where in sight till the bathroom door opened and someone yelling at her to join inside.


Recorder found Tom managed to get her into the shower for a mating ritual involving mouths all over including soaping and shampooing. Tom ended the ritual by getting out of the shower once he declared himself done. Recorder followed Tom out and got dressed into her familiar black sweats and went to the laptop with him seated on the armchair.


Recorder’s stomach is growling and wondering how long Dalton plans to nap for this stupid lockdown to happen?


Recorder got an answer to her question by James knocking onto the door and finding the butler speaking “Lockdown is over with. You’re free to wander around but not the Master’s bedroom. Just go to the dining room for nourishment and call for Roberta the cook’s wife to give you food.”


Recorder obeyed to do that as Tom followed her while appearing to be admiring her seat and giving her a smirk. She ignored Tom and went to her familiar spot in the dining table with Tom next to her. Dalton is currently seated in the Jinks Montreal’s spot and appearing to look grumpy.


Seems like he’s given memories of Jinks to remember and having trouble sleeping. Hence he keeps on nodding off and appearing to sleep while in the chair displaying his Lance Richard persona. That despite shaking his head and forming a glare and looking grumpy to me. Pity Dalton.


Barry or Ned Garry arrived via clad in clothes twin to Alexei Zesky’s when he was running the Zesky Asylum in his Human form with the cane.


Recorder found Yana appearing into the room with her familiar computer tablet and appeared to be fiddling with it. Must be waiting to record anybody speaking stories.


Recorder wound up typing this thought down till a throat clearing noise is heard. It sounded like Barry to find the male was giving Dalton his familiar glare. Recorder figured the glare involved Dalton balking on calling for Roberta the female to hand out food.

“Roberta!” She heard from Dalton who appeared to get the message.


Roberta arrived via kitchen carrying a tray holding food and placed it in front of Dalton including speaking “Excuse me while I get other nourishment for you and your guests, Master Jinks.”

Roberta obeyed to do what she said carrying trays multiple times and got food to the dining room’s inhabitants including to me too. Recorder will type more lately due to Barry indicating she should eat. Her stomach is growling too much. Ugh.


Recorder once done eating wound up wondering what to type next. Meritanians heard via Merra snickering in her mind. Compelled to type again.


That was the end of the Meritanian’s compulsion to type this story. Instead Recorder found herself in the presence of the High Council and sat down to type this down. Ignoring that her work saved onto laptop was being hacked and downloaded onto their computer. Recorder wound up interrupted her typing by an email icon popping up onto her screen.


The email was a full story by the High Council’s files as recorded by another typist recorder involving called “Tom’s Adventures in Terra; Tom’s Rage.”


Not entirely sure of where they got that record for their files despite it’s supposedly a story from Terra. I’m not sure of that emailing status from Terra to Aire. Oh well.


Recorder wound up transported back to Jinks’ residence back into the dining room finding no one inside but the butler.

Butler spoke “Its lockdown. So go to your room now Missus Thunder.”

Recorder obeyed to find Tom inside lying onto the bed with an arm over his eyes and he ignoring the intrusion of me joining him in bed.


Tom instead ignored Recorder entering the room and joining him in bed as in sitting onto it and felt a compulsion to amuse she by tickling Tom.


Recorder tickled Tom making him protest “Victoria, ha, ha!”

Till Tom displayed his Berserker side and made a familiar cat claw gesture into her face. She quit the tickling in response and went to type onto the laptop till Merra’s voice blared into her mind “I got something from the files to tell you, sticky Vicky!”


Ugh. Merra wound up speaking some story in response despite needing work with her grammar and sentences involving lots of run on sentences and terrible grammar likes she’s not schooled in talk much.


Recorder found Merra ended story interrupted by Tank heard blaring “Not what I remember involving you, Merra telling that story.”

Recorder frowned but didn’t think of a comment instead kept her mind blank and waited for Tank to speak something. Tank obeyed to her patience.


Tank’s story involved something that I remembered involving why’s I have the auditory hallucinations. It seems I’m always thinking myself as two people one as Victoria Montreal Thunder and the other as Veronica Thomas Incorporation.


Ugh hence the auditory hallucinations something the High Council tried to do onto one Victoria or Veronica clone making her more able to receive telepathic talk like a mind walkers. That didn’t work and resulted in one clone, myself with auditory hallucinations involving an insulting side voice in my head or mind or whatever insulting me with commentary that’s always negative. I swear the voice sometimes gets snippy and gives me snide comments involving my life. Really rude!


Anyway I wound up out of the bedroom into the dining room trying to type something involving a story down but couldn’t type much as a result. This lack of typing made me suffering from boredom. I couldn’t use the internet to get this story typed down. Internet was freezing up every time I went online the online blog website due to the nasty weather of some super snowstorm outside.


Wound up doing this computer’s word program for my typing urges. I really wanted to type something out of boredom. The internet wasn’t cooperating so I’m stuck using this word program instead.


The Meritanians were manipulating me to type again. It’s terrible when they keep on doing that manipulation. I can hear them snickering in my mind as their telling jokes. Mostly jokes involving sickening anyone with memories of originals to clones via mind. I’m lucky I’m spared that joker status but I suspect I’m not spared by my nightmares of waking up screaming in bed after the alarm clock goes off. Ugh.


I wound up transported to the High Council and told “You’ll be given a residence in the city of New York City and sent to live there among the public.”

I wound up transported to an apartment I recognized used to belong to one of Victoria Montreal’s persona.

“A rich snobby brat.” said voice.

Ugh really?!


The persona involved Victoria trying to create the Veronica Thomas Incorporation as an author of stories. I think this wound up encouraged by the High Council hence they cloned multiple copies of Victoria for that Veronica Thomas Incorporation to work. Ugh.


Anyway I heard a meow and found Samantha the cat from Jinks’ residence in my residence curling she around my legs. She was indicating something according to her batting my foot. I wound up following her and discovered the kitchen where baby cute kitten was demanding food. Jeez someone forgot to feed her.


Besides baby cute kitten I nickname my kitty, Samantha, has been ignoring me all day while I’m stuck indoors due to the snowstorm outside. It seems that snowstorms are still hitting New York City despite the planet called Aire. Hasn’t really hung around me very much. Mostly been snoozing in my bedroom on a blanket on top of an armchair. Ugh. Really cute baby kitten?!


Don’t have much planned for this weekend or upcoming week. I’m just bored to tears. The TV was airing nothing but paid programs onto their channels in response to that stinking snowstorm King Winter the god of cold and snow decided to dump onto the city. Yawn. Boring me to tears with the TV’s paid programing.


I wound up going onto the computer as a result. Really wanted the internet but it wasn’t cooperating to my disgust. Had to use this computer program onto my computer instead.


Just sad today. I could have gone out for a walk but I didn’t bother to do it. Not during this stupid super snowstorm. It sucks when the stormy weather is outside the city of New York City at the moment. It’s snowing heavily enough to cause air raid sirens to sound and making people stay home cooped inside. Stinky weather yuck!


I didn’t sleep very good last night into this morning. I was woken up by worries about Tom Mindbender Thunder the original Human version of Toms’ cloning that kept on aggravating me. This aggravation was by the Meritanians sickening me memories of cloned Toms suffering misfortune like death statuses. The original Human version I consider my Husband is currently serving the High Council and not Souler Council as the High Council calls themselves now.


The Meritanians Merra informed me “The Souler Council is now called High Council. You will refer them as High Council and not that hated name of Souler.”

I figured from Merra’s broadcasts that she was mind walking her broadcasts to someone else besides me. Ugh jeez Merra.


Gorilla Tom at visits to here via transportation “I’ve have to whine of a clone of me currently going around via some hidden status with an implant into him that’s always angry and always throwing hissing fits of threats to the High Council whenever in their presence. I keep getting memories of him threatening the High Council with death statuses despite suspecting he’s blaming the High Council with something making him angry.”


Gorilla Tom after that talk always involves a babying ritual of sexual touches all over like he’s missed me I didn’t protest to him doing it to me.

I wound up asking him “Where’s implanted Tom gone to and can’t the implant be removed for making him angry?”

“I’m not sure where that implant is into that clone. Haven’t figured that out but don’t care to find out, just as long as this clone is with isn’t causing the High Council’s minions in Americania any trouble.” said Gorilla Tom who got me into a lip lock.

His lips felt like sucking onto my lips despite having bigger lips than Tom’s normal lip size.


Ugh oh I should add that the High Council quit calling the land United States of America and insisted on calling it Americania some name from planet Terrania that got adopted in Aire. Hence Gorilla Tom’s reference.


My sleep was also ruined by the Meritanians and their snickering. It was also aggravating the Meritanians had to chant about something related to servitude to the High Council as some reminder.

They saying “You will serve the High Council.”

Mostly saying this commentary over and over in mostly to whoever is whining to the Meritanians Tank telling me “This chanting is in response to whoever is whining of receiving nightmare memories into their mind.”

I’m always hit with this reminder involving the Meritanians’ mind manipulations. It sucks when that has to happen to anyone. Lucky me I’m spared of that.


I was too suffering from the schizophrenic voice to bother to go outside and too tired too. Instead I stayed home all day and wound up feeling depressed like the sky is outside. It was sunny earlier and now it’s just cloudy. I haven’t really opened the window yet to air out the apartment. I’ve been meaning to do that but haven’t bothered.


Just depressed again as usual. Oh well tried some TV to watch. Reception is pretty good despite the super snowstorm outside. Also kind of disappointed that this stupid house hunting show aired on TV when I went to watch TV after clicking channels and getting mostly paid programming for products. I prefer this show involving interior design to this stupid house hunter show on this Home and Garden channel. Don’t particularly care for the house hunting crap airing on this channel. I tried to watch a bit of that TV show for a bit. Bored me to tears actually.


Besides I prefer the Home and Garden channel also known as HG their a TV series based in Texas to what’s airing on that channel. I like that TV series because it makes me want to move to Texas and live there.


If it wasn’t for my business obligations involving Veronica Thomas Incorporation I would have moved out of New York City onto a farm somewhere. Perhaps into Texas because they don’t get much disasters of weather hitting New York. Their weather is always perfectly sunny year round with some beneficial rain occasionally.


I kind of impressed with Texas and what I’ve seen of that state from that TV series. Texas seems nice to live there when I get the chance. I wouldn’t mind living on a farm and having nature amuse me instead of just electronics and isolating myself inside an apartment like nuts. It sucks.


It sucks when I’m bored to tears and not willing to get outside at all. It sucks when I’m sick as I am today. This stomachache action gave me multiple stomachaches and disturbed my sleep. I woke up way earlier than I intended to wake up by the voice aggravating me. Woke up around 630am and gave up sleeping after discovering the voice blaring at me too loud.


The schizophrenic voice was yelling at me via whining voice tone “Get up! Up and awake!”

I woke up as a result and couldn’t get back to sleep from that inner noises’ problem.


Didn’t shower till like eight o’clock but I made sure I took my pills involving me being a schizophrenic around the nine o’clock morning’s time frame. Well fifteen minutes past that but who’s counting? Ugh.


Also I didn’t want to be outside fighting with the weather or my schizophrenia blaring due to me cranky from lack of sleep and tired from walking around the city.


I could have asked my driver McCarty to take me grocery shopping today but I wasn’t in the mood to go out into the cold. I prefer to stay home instead and wait till like Tuesday to bother to go grocery shopping.


Tuesday’s the day of the Schizophrenics’ Club meeting for people who are schizophrenics like I am. I suspect the club was formed in response to people hearing the Meritanians’ snickering like laughter like voices into their minds and didn’t realize the plants were talking that sound to them. Hence those people acting clueless of there being Meritanians living in the planet.


I suspect the High Council insisted that the Meritanians keep their existence a secret from others in the planet. I think this secret insisting involving visitors visiting the planet who assumed the planet’s making them schizophrenics only to find relief when’s their off planet. Ugh.


I prefer to use Tuesday outings with McCarty as an excuse to grocery shop for food instead. Just don’t like using the weekend to grocery shop. It’s when practically every one is grocery shopping on the weekend. It sucks. So I don’t particularly care to grocery shop on the weekends.


Besides I was sick today and didn’t want to go outside. I just don’t want to go outside at all. I haven’t opened my windows yet. I’ve been meaning to open them for the airing of the cat’s Dumperium, I called her bathroom stinking up the apartment, today but haven’t bothered. I figured when it gets too stinky in here is when I’ll open windows.


Just that the snowstorm today isn’t going to be lasting long. It’s only temporary for the month of April. Still using Human calendars on the planet of Aire as it’s called and not by its original name of Shadan. The heat involving April’s summer warmth including snowy weather will come back again and cause havoc. Mostly back and forth while the planet switches hemispheres. It’s like twin to Earth actually Terra as she’s called now but differences in the sun’s orbits.


Hence I not keen on opening windows at the moment. Just don’t want to put up with my sinus stinging from allergies or the air stinking of pollution. Yuck.


Baby cute kitten must be lazy today hence she snoozing into my bedroom ignoring me for hours. It sucks when the baby cat keeps on doing that and avoids hanging around me. Even avoiding getting onto my lap for purrs and hugs. Ugh.


Updated my blog online “Books, books galore” is the title.

Mostly reviewing books I found via electronic form I was reading about via my e-reader. Seems electronic reads involving books is popular among here. It sucks when paper forms of books are getting out of fashioned. Ugh.


Went to Massachusetts on Wednesday intending to visit a bookstore I’ve read about online. I had to use McCarty the driver to drive me to Massachusetts. The drive to there took forever and left me bored to tears.

Yana Renova as she’s was preferring to be as known instead of the Yana Montreal or Veronica Thomas name, a whining kept on saying “Are we there yet?”

Over and over like a little child annoying me too much.

I wound up spotting this bookstore online that sells used and discontinued paper books involving paperback and hardcover “Book Loft your independent community bookstore since the year of our lord two thousand.”


Oh. Year of our lord is a talk involving the god king Lance Richard’s existence hence Humans are using the time of his first existence in their computer records as reasons for saying their years. This talk is still popular among Americanians despite the High Council making failed attempts to squash that habit.


The bookstore in Massachusetts is the same plaza as another major store for junky stuff including electronics. It was a bookstore and attracted my eye. I was willing to get into there.

My companion with me Yana accompanied me insisted onto going to the electronic store first.

She told me “I want to find an improved version of my computer tablet.”

I didn’t protest to her request despite she used to type stories via computer laptop but now uses verbal talk via computer tablet. I went to there with her and settled onto buying a cute watch key chain of a cat in pink. So after the store’s shopping I went into that bookstore.

Had too many choices to pick as what book I wanted. I didn’t see anything involving the romance genre. I love reading books involving the romance genre including typing stories involving that. Most of my stories involved typing about my love with my Tom himself. I saw tons of books but wasn’t sure which one I should pick.

So I settled onto the science fiction fantasy genre in the bookstore. Found a bookcase holding books that appeared to be new and in good condition despite discontinued.
I saw one book was labeled “Staff Pick.”

I figured it’ll make a good buy so I bought that along with another book with a cute male on the cover appearing to look like a teenager wearing medieval clothes of ancient Shadan.

The cashier at the pharmacy day I went to get my pills refilled on Thursday, the next day saw me holding “Staff Pick’s” book.

She commented “It’s a good book.”

I think she read that book and found it good. So I’m going to take her advice and try to read more of that book when I get the chance.

When it came to buying the two books at Book Loft, they still accept paper money and refused to accept electronic transfers or hand print. I had to dig into my wallet in my purse I brought along. I didn’t have enough money in my wallet to buy the two paperbacks by two authors, both. I was willing to use a written promise to pay for the difference I didn’t have. The saleslady was kind enough to let me buy the books about sixty something cents off the price. It was rather nice of her.

Then after that I wound up finishing Jinks Montreal’s latest autobiography book I found online my internet service via laptop while in the car ride to New York City. Nice book. I rated it five stars out of five stars. I even favored that book. It’s really a good book according to my opinion. But I lent the paperback version to Yana.

I warned her “I don’t want you to throw out the book into the dumpster once done.”

I even told her “I put my name on the book as a reminder.” I even told her how I got that book “I don’t want to wound up going to this bidding website and buying another copy that’s hugely popular.”

Book’s out of print, I think paper wise and sold via online bidding very popular like hence I had huge troubles gaining a copy of that damn book. I do hope that Yana doesn’t toss out that book.

Speaking of Yana Renova aka Yana I refer her, she’s once she’s done with books in paper form throws them out into the dumpster instead of donating them to the goodwill stores in the city for reusable items.

She told me “I confessed I threw out an autographed to you book you lent me for disagreeing with the contents.”

I wasn’t pleased about the throwing out status.

The book was by an author I’ve met and admired for the writing style. I met the author at the local bookstore during my periodic breaks of going around as a published author a part of the named Veronica Thomas Incorporation. That despite Yana flaunts herself as that persona author a part of that company too.


I wound up finding that the author was visiting the bookstore in town when it was hot out via online the internet when I got service once. I’m forced to travel around in a wheelchair as expected by the natives of the city who seemed to not be fooled by my ability to walk. Instead they know I’m original via birthed through a female carrying me and not via tube status but want me wheelchair bound when around public. It sucks when’s their marking clones birthed through females to go around publicity in wheelchairs as a sign saying that fact. Yuck.


I brought my cell phone with me and wheeled myself to the bookstore that is next door to my building. I found the author sitting in one section of the large major bookstore. The author was an older female with white hair named Lucinda Taylor with a Souler look on her face.


The Souler look involved intense all blue eyes and no eyebrow hair and just silver white hair for females.


I even snapped some cell phone photos of her. She was a rather nice lady, agreed to autograph my bought book by her, to me. All I have to show involving that author is cell phone photos of her and following her online her website including her profile’s website.

I have via online managed to collect some books that are autographed. Most are autobiographies of athletes I favored.

Such as Dominica Wasilla from planet Terrania, aka Earth. Not entirely sure of how literature from Terrania or Earth came to Aire. The book I favored it’s her autobiography book on her life currently.


I also have autographed books of other athletes that competed for the USA’s mainland on Terrania dubbed Americania, and also won gold in the same games as called TUG still used on Aire. TUG stands for Terranian Unity Games despite the natives of Terra say Terrania Unity Games without the N at the end of Terrania. I think the natives of Aire are fooled into thinking the TUGs are for winning medals when’s their, for the High Council to weed out athletes for jobs they order them via blackmail ugh.


One of the books by Wasilla is a children’s picture book while the other is an autobiography book.

I managed to purchase off the internet a book autographed by Shauna as she’s known as and not by any other name, another gymnast who competed for Americania in Terra’s Terrania Unity Games. Shauna’s book and autograph makes me think she didn’t autograph it. I think someone else is trying to sell that book with a fake autograph on it. It didn’t include her publicized last name of John very well. It only had her first name and the first letter of her last name involving J. Not the whole last name of John. Not entirely sure of what to make of that.

I have another book by a gymnast that is autographed. It’s by Daniela Constanta a Human gymnast that competed in the world championships on Terra. It’s some version of planet’s united games for qualifying into Terrania Unity Games.


I’m not entirely sure if she really autographed that book or not. It’s her autobiography book I ordered off the internet with instructions to have it signed and autographed. It came in the mail and made me think someone else autographed the book. The autograph inside the book isn’t that good to my standards. Oh well. Either that or the author wrote that fast to mail that book off.

I’m currently using a journal involving teens to write down stuff into it. It’s a book for teens to fill out on their life with questions and comments suggested inside. I’m not following what that book suggested. Instead I’m just using it as a journal to write whatever I wanted to write. Mostly on my life and what I feel like writing down including my schizophrenic attacks of voice.


I find one therapist told me when’s I was suffering from a schizophrenic attack “You’re to write them down and not keep them to yourself.”

I wound up obeying doing that and felt much better and less stressed with that writings. I still write the wording the schizophrenia voice tells me down including various talks I hear via either my mind or my ears. I’m not sure which is which. Ugh.

I have an autographed book from author Lucinda Taylor I won in a contest. I read that book and found it pretty good. I don’t mind the books’ contents despite being a fiction book.

I’ll have to ask the bookstore for more books by Lucinda Taylor. Maybe more on her series she autographed to me I won in that contest. I figured I’ll wait till this stupid snowstorm quits blowing outside for me to get outside for a nice wheeling walk to the bookstore and ask for books by Lucinda Taylor.

I have another autographed book by an author I met too but I didn’t take pictures of her or figure out her name. Actually she handed me this book while I was reading a book using a drinking shop’s internet connection for stuff online.

She told me “Just read it, Ma’am.”

The book turned out to be autographed to me.

It said “To Victoria. Good luck in whatever you do! From Shanna Marie.”

The book was an anthology involving cup for comfort for women in writing. I met think I’ve met the author in a tea shop, while buying herbal tea for Gorilla Tom, to drink during his allowed visits to my home. It seems that Toms are still not spared that herbal tea drink diet. Ugh.


I bought that book after she handed it to me autographed. I bought it out of politeness to that female handed it to me in my name. Ugh hate it when that happens.

I haven’t lent very many autographed books to my twin sister, Yana, as I refer her, yet. I don’t think I would. She would toss that out like any other books she’s been reading lately. Yuck. She’s refusing to use the thrift shop or goodwill for tossing books she doesn’t want. She’s been using the dumpster as her dumping ground where she lives.


She mostly lives in my Tom’s former two room apartment in the city. Don’t get it what’s with her obsession of living there. It sucks when that apartment doesn’t have an elevator for me to wheel myself to visit her. It only has multiple stairs and aggravates me on having to ask someone to carry me up there despite forbidden to walk up carrying my wheelchair.

Also I managed to collect the hardcover versions of the seven book series “Seven” by Verona Vander herself. I suspect someone wrote the series for her and she lent her name to make them popular received. I have the electronic versions of them. I don’t mind having two versions of those books. I like to read paper books sometimes including electronic forms when the mood hits me.

I had to use a used second hand bookstore online for the seven book collection dubbed “Seven” to be bought.

I meant using the Book Loft’s website and finding a used bookstore for those books to collect. I managed to save money doing that.

I have set aside in a bookcase some books I favor that I read over and over. I don’t normally read them over and over. But I normally favor those books due to their contents. Those books are mostly autobiographies by people I favor.

Such as five girls of gymnasts from Terra called the Fabulous Five for competing in the Terrania Unity Games and winning gold in the team competition for Rhineland as their nation is called on Terra. Their nation is normally in Europe a bunch of nations together but Terra I heard reverted back to Terrania’s times with those island nations. Some of those island nations are joined together underneath one ruler or name hence Rhineland that seemed German to me.


Ugh. I have books by the girls of that gymnastics group that won gold.

One is “Learning to Fly” by Natalia Borsova, also known as Natalia Mahalia.

I kind of like her book and favor too much. I managed to read that book twice this year. I even have two copies of that book in paperback format and not electronic form. I’m trying to find the electronic form of that book for my collection for my e-reader.

I have another autobiography by another Fabulous Five girl called “Catch me flying!” by Dagmara Kirsten.

It’s rather an interesting book and I kind of like it enough to keep the book into my bookcase. I have managed to read it twice so far but that was last year.


Human years involving Earth’s planetary cycle around the sun is still used in planet Aire despite the High Council not protesting to that insisting by the Humans living here. I don’t know where or when the High Council gave up protesting to that insisting and joined the club.


I haven’t read Kirsten’s book this year. I meant to but haven’t bothered.

The other two books are autobiographies by Raisa Zesky, who’s actually a coach of the team and not an athlete. Sorry for the confusion but she’s referred as one of the Fabulous Five as an athlete.


One book is “If I could fly” and autobiography on Raisa Zesky’s life as a coach in gymnastics while wheel chaired bound.

I haven’t read that book in awhile. Not sure when I’ll get around to it.

The other book is something called “My life’s recording.” involving Raisa’s quoting with her handwriting into it.

Not sure what to make of that book.

I have in that bookcase is books by Verona Vander involving the “Seven” series their all in hardcover. I used a second hand bookstore Book Loft to find the hard covers of the series. I managed to collect all seven books of that series.

I’ve been meaning to read the “Seven” series again. I only read the last book twice. First as a hardcover and then second as a paperback.


I got the paperback from the town library in Connecticut during a stop over rest from the drive to Massachusetts. It was really Yana’s fault.

She kept on insisting to the driver “Can you stop the car? I have to go pee!”

The driver stopped in this small town full of gravesites and found a town library in the process. Yana ran out of the car and darted inside appearing to be in a hurry to hit the toilet. Humph.


I wound up wheeling myself out inside the building via door that took me trouble to maneuver myself inside. McCarty had to come out of the car to help me to my disgust. I’m still using that wheelchair bound form publicity despite still able to walk.


I found a small bookstore in the town library despite not having a library card or proper credentials’ to get a card. I found they were selling the last book of the “Seven” series, so I bought it for a dollar aka paper money. Town library refused to accept credit or hand print.

Kept on saying to me “We accept paper money only including coinages.”

I was forced to fork over my dollar as a result just to shut up the female librarian named Tansy for getting annoyed with me. I bought that book and wheeled myself back to the car. This time I didn’t have any problems getting outside. Yana appearing to finish her bathroom held both doors open for me and helped me get into the car.

My mutual friend Shanna Marie when I went to the drink shop to sit and read a book while drinking my chocolate milk in process of buying herbal tea. She stopped by and sat with me uninvited without me inviting her.

She commented when she saw me reading the paperback version of the last book of “Seven” series “You would need to read the series again all over just to figure out what’s going on with the series. It’s not to be read once with the last book. The Seven series is to be read more than once starting at the beginning.”

I’m considering that idea when I get the chance.

I have in that bookcase of books I favor about ten books by the Soulers’ Soul series. I kind of like the Soulers’ Soul books. I’ve depended onto reading them galore when I was first suffering from my schizophrenia.


Mostly involving hearing voices when I remembered a clone was living in planet Earth given the ability to tell jokes played by the Meritanians involving a voice into her mind saying joke every time the plants told a joke. I suspect this status is something that Barry has when’s he’s telling the High Council what the Meritanians are doing with their snickering joking behavior.


I’m not having that joker status done onto me nowadays. But I still suffer from voices said to me occasionally. It’s involving schizophrenia but nothing involving the Meritanians’ blaring onto whomever on planet side.


The books on Soulers’ Soul were a big help when I was suffering from depression while attending college in a rented room in Connecticut out of being lonely and not having very many friends. I was sort of outcast by the middle school students hence I joining the high school soccer team out of wanting friends. The coach took pity onto me and put me into the goalkeeper’s position I provided to be very good in that position. I’m not sure if that talent involved me or Meritanians’ joker manipulations. I haven’t asked the plants that fact and doubt that I would. The Meritanians are very firm on not admitting what their doing involving manipulation of people via body’s movements.


Turned out people expected me to join the University of Connecticut’s Soccer team as a goalkeeper. After heavy pressures of doing that by the coach insisting I wound up obeying to the coach’s pressure and joined the team playing goalkeeper. I wound up having to spend nights staying up studying galore while playing for the team. The four years of goalkeeping nearly ruined me physically with the studying and playing for the team. Hence my speech involving my body can’t take it anymore when I gave at the graduation ceremony as an excuse to why I wasn’t recommended to join the women’s professional soccer league as a goalkeeper. It was the coach who insisted I stop playing and learn something else which I obeyed..


I found that after my college team won the national championships’ title in my senior year they backed off on having me join the Women’s professional soccer league.

Instead one of my teammates referred as Jane and no other name said to me “Do something else! Focus onto making a living! Playing soccer isn’t good for you!”

She was joined by others of the team after we won the national championship and pressured me “You’re to graduate college and quit soccer!”


I obeyed using the excuse “My body can’t handle playing soccer anymore. Hence I’m focused onto a writing career. I enjoy creating stories and entertaining people for a living. It’s fun to do that writing to people.”

As part of my graduation speech as one of the students picked via voting to give the speech. Not entirely sure of how I got voted into that position despite not entering that contest. I suspect my Father as he’s referred Jinks Montreal, being a billionaire had something to do with the University hoping for a donation hence they doing this joke status onto me. Humph.

I find that my reading voice when I read books drowned out the schizophrenia’s voice including the blaring by the Meritanians. It took the Meritanians to get it that the books’s reading voice I was reading was drowning out their blaring whenever they yelling at someone who’s reading and ignoring them. I even found myself losing my problems involving the schizophrenic voice by reading a book to the disgust of the Meritanians who have to manipulate people to put the book down to talk to them. That book’s reading wound up including cheered up by the contents. Hence I reading those Soulers’ Soul books galore when I was suffering without any medicinal help the first time I was diagnosed with my mental health issues soon after I was freed from the tube status.


Oh the High Council had someone named Nikolai with a dog gonoid side as the password to free all those people from the Hall of Thousand Voices’ tube status.

Nikolai was given the password by the Meritanians thinking it’ll be a fun joke to do that which the password was “I am Nikolai.”

I wound up freed including others via tube status which is when that fact of Tom being cloned to serve the High Council various jobs came out. That included the fact of Nikolai was born via female and cloned to give the High Council various clones of servitude. Ugh something to the disgust of me.

I have managed in my bedroom to cut down the amount of books I’ve collected and kept on hand. My friend Shanna Marie, I still find visits me at the drink shop me reading a pile of books on the table. I would wheel myself and grab multiple books as I could carry then put it onto the table and scan through them and buy them all. Mostly eight or ten at a time each time I was there at the store.

Shanna Marie seemed to be spying onto me buying those books heavily because she came up to me deciding on pulling a book from a bookcase involving romance “Books were collecting dust and aggravating people including my dog’s allergies. I had to cut down the amount of books by donation to the reused store. You should do the same. It’s not good for your cat’s allergies.”
In response I put that book back and I wound up wheeling myself out of that drink shop after I bought Tom’s herbal tea drink and wheeled myself intending to go home instead of talking to Shanna. I think I was manipulated to give her the silent treatment because I heard the snickering like laughter of the Meritanians sounding in my mind again. Argh you stinking Meritanian!


It sucks when I have trouble telling the difference from the noises in my head and the noises I’m hearing via ears including schizophrenic noises. It sucks. Anyway hence I stuck wearing hearing ear devices into my ears to help me focused onto what I’m hearing via my ears. The hearing ear devices help to drown out the inner noises by amplifying the noises I’m hearing via ears.

As for Shanna Marie’s comment I mostly gave the rejected books to the goodwill store in Chinatown. I didn’t mind doing that. Some of those books I donated wound up donated to the city’s town library. Means I donated books to the town library instead of via goodwill store. I like doing that donation to Goodwill store for books but I prefer the town library instead.

I prefer to keep the town library in operation money wise. It’s when it comes to purchasing books I want to read including inter library loans. I’m trying to depend onto the Chinatown’s town library for books to read.

The town library is pretty good on getting me books I want to read and see if I should add to my collection of books I have at home.

Shanna Marie told me “I’m a big believer in the town library.” has said “You should check out books from town library first. Read them then if you like they buy a copy for collection at home.”

I’m trying to take her advice on that.

This month out is a book I’m dying to read “Perfectly Positive” by January Constanta.

She’s the daughter of Daniela Constanta the gymnast who competed in the TUGs that won four gold medals and one bronze medal and disappeared via plane crashing into the ocean soon after flying home from the TUG’s location to her home island. I think that disappearance of the plane crash was the High Council’s servants’ manipulation to get Daniela serving the group out of winning those five medals. What a nasty trick that the High Council is still doing that plane forced crashing into the ocean followed by transporting people important to the group out and having them publicity declared disappeared as their talk for dead. Ugh…


I’m curious to what that book is about. I saw via previews that book is about January Constanta’s life and nothing involving her mother Daniela’s life. January according to the preview said was suffering medical injuries and competing for Fatherland as the island nation of Highlanders’ hybrid species Elves are known as a gymnast. The book is supposedly includes stuff of her having cancer and having a miracle baby girl after that happened. I suspect the miracle baby girl was manipulation by the High Council again via cloning form. Yuck.


Not entirely sure if that preview is accurate but I’ll see hence I asking town library via Chinatown for a copy.

Town library in Chinatown is a building that appears to be a big house or mansion despite buildings in New York City fell to dust. Some of the buildings in New York City didn’t get rebuilt. Instead houses like mansions and pathways or dirt roads including forests overtook the city as a result. It’s some what a town between big metallic buildings and houses.


The Chinatown’s library was run by an older Asian female named Kui Wang Liping with assistants of younger Asians appearing to her younger versions of her via cloning. Hence they have the same first name of Kui like her. Their always cheery and happy to see patrons. I guess that they don’t get many patrons very much hence their happy behavior to make people come back and check out books. It’s interesting.


Anyway the head librarian agreed to my request on getting a paperback copy of this book “Perfectly Positive” by January Constanta.

I’m not even sure of how she’ll acquire the book despite it’s coming from another planet aka Terra in another solar system according to the publisher was published in Terra’s Veronica Thomas Incorporation company.

Miss Liping seemed fine with my request for the book and cheery said to me “I’ll email you once I get the book in stock.”

I didn’t say a word in response instead waved by at her and wheeled myself out of the town library to my waiting driver’s car. The weather was terrible for me to wheel around by myself hence McCarty driving me around.


Well not entirely sure of what book I’m to read. I managed to read a bit of this science fiction book a part of the Edenia series by Beth Hoyer. It’s caught my eye but not entirely sure if I can make myself put that book down entirely. I’m determined to read that book entirely as in savoring it.


Stuff to add book wise I feel compelled to add by Meritanian variety saying “What book should you read for fun?”

Ugh Merra is still transmitting her talk to me like she expects me to record every damn thing she says. Hence her question.


I think the fact that when I’m at home I don’t bother reading books very much. I tend to watch too much TV including fooling around online the internet reading stuff. That reading on the computer includes reading my own muse talk stories for fun or for correcting grammar and mistakes including editing them galore.


Shanna Marie says to me during a visit to the drink shop “My mom is lucky when she’s at home she reads books galore. She doesn’t watch much TV very much.”

I said in response “I tend to watch too much of the HG channel on the weekends while I watch talk shows on prime time during the weekdays instead of reading books. I hardly read books while I’m at home hence I here reading.”

Shanna Marie in response to my comment said “My Mom has been saying ‘TV is boring.’”

I was about to say something to Shanna Marie when she got up without a word and left me a book autographed to me “To Victoria, Happy reading! From Shanna Marie.”

I was out of obligation forced to buy that book because the shop clerk of the drink shop that also sells books was giving me the evil eye as in a golden eyed glare twin to a Builder/Compeller’s glare. He reminded me of Ned Garry’s looks despite the male going around as titled High Council servant Barry.


It sucked when Shanna Marie keeps on doing this joke’s status onto me. I bought the book something involving romance on the couple in a clinch on the cover. I found it was one of the books by Veronica Thomas Incorporation by the symbol on the cover and using Shanna Marie’s name as author. It sucked when she’s playing this joke status to get people to buy her books.


Mostly become friendly with them autographed the book and leave it where someone is forced to buy it. It’s rather annoying and rude. Humph!


I really should see what I can do to amuse myself book wise instead of focusing onto the TV too much. It sucks when I’m stuck with amusing myself with the TV mostly watching the HG channel too much. Also sometimes the TV bores me on the weekends.


I was really bored enough to update my online blog twice. Mostly rants about the lack of books amusing me and having to wait forever for books I want to read from the town library in one blog entry. It sucks.


This time I tried to be positive involving books as my theme involving my blog in my second entry. I was trying to be positive instead of negative Nancy news. I figured I might go back onto my online blog and find some entries I could delete for being negative Nancy news. Not entirely sure if I would be doing that. Oh well.


Anyway I have to go eat dinner soon including taking my pills. It sucks when I’m stuck having to take my pills and eating dinner food with them. But I’m hungry as I am.


Also I have food at home I’m not willing to eat. I might toss them out and wait till like tomorrow to bug McCarty into driving me around town. Maybe after Schizophrenic’s Club I’ll order McCarty to take me grocery shop. It shouldn’t be a problem for me to do that.


By the way the Meritanians’ laughter has been noisy since lunch. I tried some crackers with salt on them but they weren’t what I wanted to eat. I settled for nuking up some food into the microwave instead. It helped my stomach feel much better. But salt can make the schizophrenic noise noisy. I find that I have to avoid foods with high salt on them. It’ll mean eating foods that don’t have much salt on them. Or just avoid the salt. Ugh. Same for potato chips their high in salt. I have to avoid eating them or get unsalted chips instead.


It’s about time I paid attention to what I’m eating and what foods are making the noisy noise. Including paying attention to what foods I’m eating I’m withdrawing from that is aggravating the schizophrenia to talk too much.


Hence I don’t have many changes in my diet of foods I’m eating. I tend to eat the same thing over and over without vary much variety. It sucks. I tend to vary what I eat a day but its not done very well at all. I mostly eat crap foods like candy and ice cream including too much dairy foods.


Not sure if my food habits explain why I’m suffering from food withdrawals involving the schizophrenia’s voice attacking me. Not entirely sure of that but I know I get attacks that put my paranoia feelings of unsafe activate and makes me drop everything and focus onto the computer. Mostly when’s I’m hearing the voice going off blaring its familiar wording involving an attack of paranoia is when I have to go drop everything I’m doing outside and get home fast to focus onto the computer. I find that computer focusing helps me avoid the unsafe feeling and helps me avoid the paranoia of the voice’s chanting.


Those schizophrenic attacks can spring without warning. There’s no signal for the attack to start. Instead it hits like a surprise chanting in my mind over and over. Mostly to the point it starts to scare me is when I go to the computer typing and editing one story till I can sleep off the anxiety after taking my anxiety pill. I’ve managed to put up with the attack for a few afternoon hours but around five o’clock is when I get really creep out and try to focus onto the computer and hope my pill for the voice works when I take it with food. I take a pill with food involving the voice’s noises. The pill isn’t a cure at all but something that tones down the voice’s loudness and makes it easier for me to tolerate the inner noises.


Sometimes reading muse talk on the computer can help me avoid hearing the chanting of the schizophrenia voice going. I found one case of me doing that reading onto the computer while suffering from an attack one evening. I managed to avoid being scared by the attack and stayed up till a normal bedtime with the muse talk reading. I think I didn’t do much editing. Instead just read muse talk till it was ten o’clock I took my anxiety pill and crashed an hour later.


I found one case of the muse talk reading didn’t help me at all. I wound up scared to death with fear after reading muse talk for two hours. Mostly when five o’clock rolled around is when I got nervous. I forced myself to take my pill for the voice and focused onto the computer while eating food. I find I have to eat food with the pill to make it work. The pill doesn’t work on an empty stomach.


I’m currently onto taking pills at same time every day. Like once in the morning and once in the evening around dinnertime. Dinnertime is usually around five o’clock. I think it’s when I get nervous or something. Not entirely sure of that.


The five o’clock hour must have something to do with the sunlight gone from the sky and its dark out. Mostly happens in the winter time. In the summer time I still get nervous but I try to keep a same schedule involving bedtime of ten o’clock. I mostly am sleeping on and off trying to will aside the voice to quit chanting. Its when I mostly lie down during the evening hours is when the voice stops its chanting soon after I take my anxiety pill. Also stops being aggravating hence I’m sure my anxiety pill helps me with an anxious state.


I must add that I dialed the operator on the phone for deaf services. I refused to use regular phoning via listening to ears’ talk despite suffering from schizophrenic voices in my mind. This including suffering from the blaring of Meritanians’ talk in my mind. Like Merra has habitually made sure Yana and I could hear her anywhere on planet Aire from time to time. She always does this joke status whenever she’s playing a joke to make us hear her playing this joke. It sucks.


I received resistance to dialing Yana via phone. Yana’s lucky that she’s managed to cope with the Meritanians to the point that it doesn’t bother her.

The operator kept on claiming “Your message is garbled!” each time I asked politely “Please call this number to call Yana Renova.” after giving her phone number.

I had to hang up and dial another operator.


I swear those operators are rude. I swear the first operator read my message and said garbled message on purpose to avoid calling Yana. I swear this rudeness involves the operators must have known who I am and who Yana is because we’re both notorious for hour long phone calls including one lasting two hours. I swear this operator is being rude on purpose to avoid doing the job.


I wound up doing that hang up and calling another operator and that operator gave me rudeness too. Didn’t really leave a message onto Yana’s answering machine or bothered to ring her up. Instead tried to put me off with ringing stuff instead of the answering machine.


I did get the answering machine but the operator faked called Yana via second time when dialing. Mostly because there was no pause between typing for answering machine and leaving my message.


It’s rather annoying when the operator pulls this joke status onto me. It’s rather rude and tacky. It’s not nice. It’s rude when they pull this joke onto me. I just don’t appreciate it at all. I just don’t. Humph. Really annoying me too much.


Just wish that the operators would learn phone manners instead of playing jokes onto people calling them for talking to whomever. It’s rather rude and tacky and annoying. Just don’t appreciate that at all.


Operators are rude as usual towards whoever calls them for service that their always trying to avoid doing the phoning for people. I swear those operators will pay the price whenever someone calls them for an emergency and suffers a medical problem and they’ll be sorry as a result.


Jeez finally reached an operator who cooperated and connected me to Yana. I wound up onto the phone with Yana for almost an hour.

Yana whined “I’m falling asleep while on the phone. I can barely keep my eyes open.”

Ugh. Yana has trouble sleeping as a result of claiming to hear noises that keeps her up for hours.

I kept on telling her “The noise is the schizophrenic voice sounding gibberish into your mind.”

Yana has refused to believe me when I tell her that instead told me “I’m fine! I’m just tired! Don’t mention that subject again to me!” in response.

It sucks when she’s like that in denial. It really does.


Operator cooperated at first as in dialing Yana and doing our chat. But it was at a part of the phone call is when the operator became rude. Started typing the stop keying symbol onto me onto the screen of the laptop computer’s recording our conversation like typing her responses. The operator sucks.


Also I had to ignore that stop keying symbol to make Yana talk some more me saying “Can’t you talk for some more? I love our chats.”

She spoke “I agreed to that talk.” and so did the operator for the interpretation who quit that stop keying symbol.

It was when Yana whined “I want to get off the phone to go lies down.” is when the operator started using the stop keying symbol again.


Even ruder is the operator hung up our call after we said “Respects to another day” messages to each other.

That saying is Soulers’ speak for “I’ll talk to you again.”

It sucked when operators are really rude crude Gertrude. It sucked when I have to put up with this joke status from operators. Yuck. Really don’t particularly care for that behavior. It sucked when I have to put up with it.


Anyway I wound up onto the computer due to itching to type something.

I left the TV on blaring HG channel’s interior design show “Divine Design.”

Mostly a rerun of that TV series. Don’t mind but it’s not one of my favorite episodes.


I don’t mind the TV on blaring. I do mind not able to write into my journal my thoughts of today. I wound up just onto the computer typing my thoughts. Mostly due to wanting something to type and something to unwind my stress of today.


Just not entirely sure of how late I’m going to be staying up tonight. I might just stay up a bit till I get fed up with typing onto the computer my thoughts. It depends on me and my mood.


Plus I was hoping on changing my blog online to something about themes. Mostly like one entry a theme about books. I talked about books in one entry today. I wonder if I could do themes in my blog instead of just rants or negative Nancy news of me having schizophrenia and trying to establish a writing career.


I’m stuck with having to self publish my own writings online. Veronica Thomas Incorporation has refused to acknowledge me as the creator of the Veronica Thomas Incorporation persona or identity. Instead has balked accepting submissions of my writing stories to their publishers.

Keeps on saying via email same old message “Thanks for the story. It’s not catching our interests. Sorry have to pass on with this one.”

It sucks when they keep on pulling this joke of rejections onto me. It sucks.


Just prefer themes instead of rants and stuff. It sucked when I’m negative Nancy in my blog. It sucked when I’m like that. It also sucked when all I do in my blog is whine bad news stuff. This is terrible big time.


Chapter Two

I’m just aggravated by watching “Divine Design” last night.

It was during the eight o’clock show is when the voice started to chant. I think it was garbled talk at first. So I focused onto the TV. Wound up watching TV till like ten o’clock ignoring the noise in my head.


When I went to bed around ten o’clock is when the voice made its presence known.

Mostly chanting “Are you forgetting something?” over and over.

Ugh. I don’t forget anything very much at all before I go to bed. I tend to make whatever chore I have to do wait in the morning instead.


So I wound up sleeping fine till like six o’clock is when I woke up with the cute baby kitten cuddling me. I decided to agree to the cute baby kitten’s request of sleeping some more so I did that. I slept till woken up by the glaring sunlight. Ugh.


Also wound up getting up and showering and wearing some clothes I already worn. I figured I’ll take advantage of today’s weather with sunlight out to get outside and do chores. Such as garbage tossing and doing the dumperium involving Sam’s bathroom. I think her bathroom needs cleaning anyway.


Besides I’m typing this onto the computer because of the internet refusing to cooperate. The internet froze up multiple times so I gave up and went onto the word program instead. Mostly to type this entry down instead. It’s terrible when the internet refused to work.


I tried to read a magazine last night via my e-reader but the internet on that thing refused to cooperate.

I had to give up and watch “Divine Design” as a result when that e-reader refused to cooperate.

I was hoping on focusing onto something to avoid the noise in my head. I had to focus onto the TV as a result.


“Divine Design” was rerunning episodes for Saturday night when they rerun episodes. Also it was rather nice when they aired some episodes I liked. I didn’t mind those episodes.


I do mind one episode I keep on seeing over and over I hate the most. I just don’t care for that episode. That episode shows a couple spending way too much money onto fixing up a house and trying to get it to their design taste. Just don’t particularly care for that episode. It’s not my favorite and I hate watching it. I prefer to watch something else interior design’s wise.


Just don’t particularly care for this TV show “Buying and Selling.”

That TV show always stresses me out when I have to watch it on HG channel. That show’s involving fixing up a house and trying to sell it for purchasing another house. The show always leaves me annoyed to stress out wondering if this person’s house will sell despite the fixing up statuses. I hate watching that TV show. I don’t particularly care for it. Yuck.


Chapter Three

Where I have been which I haven’t been typing much like I meant to. So Sunday I wound up attacked by the voice all day. I tried to tolerate it by watching TV including reading muse talk. It didn’t go away. Instead I forced myself to go to the computer to read muse talk. I didn’t lie down till like ten o’clock an hour after the anxiety pill was taken. The voice was still on going with its annoying chanting and scaring me.


I took my pills three times at different time frames. First at five o’clock with the computer. Second at ten o’clock when I lied down. Then the third at midnight when I felt nothing was working involving the chanting.


I had to after my third dosage go to the hospital. The voice was chanting at me to go.

It was saying “Text McCarty, this isn’t working” over and over.

Till it became a compulsion to do those order as compelled by the Meritanians. I obeyed despite the voice was compelling me to go. I had to text McCarty to take me which he agreed.


McCarty took me to the emergency room of the hospital. I wound up sleeping overnight in their emergency room set aside for that. I was freed from the wheelchair able to walk on two legs and two feet by myself without any one scolding me for not using the wheelchair. I was the only patient there in the emergency room. Also tried to read my bible also known as the Soulers’ Sacred book and some books I had with me. I read mostly my bible while I was there.


Monday I wound up admitted into the seventh floor for help for my care. I was suffering from the voice chanting actually. I wound up given the option of going to the seventh floor which I agreed to be admitted. Ugh.


Anyway I wound up reading ten books while I was there. One was unfinished because I didn’t like the contents of that book. Found it disgusting and only read the beginning and the ending. That was a murder mystery actually. Mostly a book I didn’t like it so I gave up reading it entirely.


Wound up finishing this book “Hayu’s Tales: Point of Origin” by Beth Hoyer.

It’s really good enough to check out another book by the same author at the town library yesterday after I got out of the hospital.

I checked out the book’s sequel as pointed out in the Edenia series by her called “Deceiving Appearances.”

Have to figure out when to read that book when I get the chance.


Also started reading Shanna Marie’s book involving a science fiction theme while in the hospital. It’s in first person involving a male main character. I’m just aiming to finish that book. I have managed to read most of that book till I got about two hundred pages to go then I’ll be done. Not entirely sure if I would be willing to read it today or not. Oh well.


Last night I started reading Mia Mairead’s autobiography book “I’m Kicking!”

It’s some self help book on her life involving soccer and stuff. I thought it’ll be a good read. I wound up reading two chapters of that book last night. It’s been years since I’ve read that book. I don’t think I’ve read it when I first moved into here into this apartment into the city.


Humph Tom or cloned copies of Tom never once visited me while I was contained in the hospital getting my medicines adjusted.

He did send an older Elf Female who acted like my Mother in my presence greeting me and told me loudly “Your sweetie said his regrets and sent me to check onto you daughter dear.”

Humph. Thomasine visited me multiple times in Tom’s place always saying what she said to me repeatedly.


I wound up visited by Junior aka Tom Mindbender Thunder Junior son of Tom himself who came from somewhere smelling of water. Appeared he was in the ocean swimming again hence his sea smell. Stinky like nuts despite Junior is partially a fish with the gills and always ocean swimming. I swear he’s doing jobs for the High Council in the ocean.

Junior did tell me “I’ll see that Samantha is taken care of while you’re here.”

I didn’t protest instead told Junior lists of things to do for my home.

He reluctantly told me “It’ll be done as you wish.”

I think Junior was scared off of being in the hospital instead once visiting hours were over darted out via the emergency exit nearly causing the alarm to go off. Idiot!


Lucky a nurse caught that and shut the door before the siren could sound. She managed to lock the door as a result of that joker idiotic behavior by Junior’s status.


Also once I was home cute baby kitten was her snobby self. Instead demanded food to be filled into her food bowl and fresh water. She even acted like a snob on the bob turned her nose up onto the food. Humph. Well she showed that I was forgiven by her behavior later when I was asleep in bed. Cute baby kitten wound up friendly with me last night into this morning. Guess she missed me terribly. Oh well. I missed her terribly too. I missed her sitting onto my front giving me attention too. I also missed picking her up for hugs too.


While hospitalized I had my own room to myself. Then during the last night there I wound up with a roommate because of another patient coming into the seventh floor as it’s referred. The roommate was tolerant of my reading with the lights on but I made sure I didn’t stay up too long reading a book.


I wound up reading Natalia Borsova’s book. I asked Junior to bring from home. I made a huge dent into that book one evening. But around eleven o’clock I had to quit for bed. So I slept and in the morning finished the book.


Borsova’s book is my third time reading it this year. I think I’ve read it twice so far this year. Not entirely sure if that reading’s accurate.

But I’ll check online the book colloguing website “The Shelf” when I get the chance to do it.

I have about ten books to add to there involving reading. I can’t wait to do that.


I wound up starting a journal while I was hospitalized. Junior brought that journal from my home. I asked him for it. I’m still writing into that journal while at home.


That journal is a companion to a singer named Victoria’s book. I have to ask the town library for Victoria’s book once I figure out the title.

I think the title is “Staying strong.”

But I’m not sure. It’s on the cover of the journal actually.


I had another journal “Soulers’ Soul” I was writing in before I got hospitalized.

I didn’t remember where I put it so I didn’t ask Junior to bring it to the hospital. Didn’t trust Junior to nosily read that thing when he’s doing servitude work for me. Wound up setting that book aside to write in later.


Besides that elf female ambassador for Tom, Thomasine via talks said to me “I must whine of your unreadable handwriting. Kindly write neater for me to read.”

So I’ve been trying to write neatly while writing into my journal. Mostly make my handwriting readable for anyone to read. It’s when I’m having trouble expressing stuff to the doctor or therapist. So I’ll have them read my journal instead.


I’ve kept communication with the nurses and doctors by using a pad to write comments to them and them to me. I didn’t use a sign language interpreter despite able to talk. I had trouble hearing via the noises in my mind via my ears including the noises of the Meritanians and their comments. Hence I used a hand language interpreter for getting people’s talks. I used a pad for communication purposes. It required me to write neatly with handwriting readable.


Thomasine visited me a few times when it’s appropriate. Meant visiting hours or time for visitors to visit the seventh floor. She and I had a written conversation via pad involving stuff. Hence her complaints of unreadable handwritings.


Junior visited me once. But he gave me his hat a baseball cap that is entirely jeans and blue.

“Thanks Junior!”

Wound up taking that cap home as a result. Also wore it home and is still waiting to hand that cap back to Junior.


When I got home Samantha came out of hiding and demanded food. Her food bowl was almost empty so I fed her. She wound up being really friendly onto me. Even allowed me to snatch her up for hugs galore. She was tolerant of those hugs. Including demanding attention as in her back scratched. Same for sitting onto my lap too.


It was rather nice chatting with Yana on the phone last night. I wound up once I got home text emailed her then around six o’clock Yana text me. So I wound up on the phone for over an hour.


After I got home I wound up watching the HG channel for two hours.

Mostly this TV show “Homes on the Lakes.”

I think it’s the title but I’m not sure. Anyway it’s a thirty minute TV show focused onto houses near lakes in the ocean for house hunters to find and purchase. Cute show!


I watched the local news for almost an hour. Yana text so I wound up on the phone with her till like seven thirty.

I went back to the HG channel and watched my favorite TV show “Divine Design” for over an hour.

It was airing for two hours from seven o’clock to nine o’clock.


At nine o’clock I left the TV on while writing into my journal. I was half paying attention to the TV. I half paid attention to the TV for an hour then at ten o’clock I quit the TV to read. I read for thirty minutes till like ten thirty is when I quit and slept fine.


Sam got onto my lap during my TV watching at the nine o’clock hour. She was squirming all over the place. Seems like she couldn’t get comfortable. So she got off and went to the couch to snooze.


Sam visited me in bed last night while I was reading Natalia’s book. She wound up rolling around onto my bed. Mostly rolling onto her back and baring her cute tummy. I smiled a bit when she did that. Also ignored her too. Mostly read my book about two chapters worth. Then I crashed.


Don’t have much planned for today. Think I got a nurse’s visit. I missed the visit on Wednesday due to being hospitalized. Didn’t go home till Thursday afternoon.


Could have grocery shopped yesterday but didn’t bother to do it. The voice always aggravates me after I get home from grocery shopping. Mostly driven by McCarty to Stop and Shop as that grocery store is called. Odd name then home. Always starts chanting when after I buy groceries and get into McCarty’s car.

Chants “Are you forgetting something?”

The drive home is when the voice starts to aggravate me. When I get home I’m forced to put away groceries then go onto the computer reading muse talk for awhile.


The muse talk reading always helps me avoid hearing anything further from the voice. Hence I was reading muse talk galore for awhile. The reading has helped me a few times to get the voice to stop chanting including getting my paranoia of no privacy to go away.


Humph have to go shower and make myself presentable. Ugh. Also do some chores around here too.


It sucks when I haven’t been home for awhile. Hence I have to clean this apartment the best I can. Mostly vacuuming and garbage tossing out too. Also cleaning the bathroom. Including doing laundry for my clothes.


I wasn’t able to do laundry while at the hospital so I took my clothes home. I figured I’ll do that chore at home instead of at the hospital. Just hope I have enough quarters for one load of wash and one load of drying. Just hope all my clothes fit into one washer. I don’t want to do two washing loads. I did that last time and didn’t like it. Felt like I was hogging the machines too much. I like to be generous and use one washer and one dryer instead.


Showered and text emailed Yana “Hi Yana I’m up from being asleep in bed so text email me mews for a phone call!”

I have to wait forever for Yana to bother to reply to my text email. I think she’s sleeping late again. Might be still in bed asleep.

She whined via phone “I’m feeling poorly.” yesterday on the phone.

Yana said “I’m complaining of my intestinal tract bothering me and keeping me up for every hour.”

Ugh poor Yana but I asked her “Did you figure out what was causing that problem?”

She told me “The Meritanians wound up blaring ‘Dirty water bottles needs cleaning or getting sick.’

It’s when I figured out that intestinal tract problem of being up for every hour for bathroom. I managed to wash my water bottle I use next to my bed for drinking water when thirsty. Ugh I need to go to bed and lie down. I’m falling asleep.”

With that talk Yana hung up without a word towards me.

I figured the operator hung up our call instead of Yana because she text emailed me soon after “Operator claimed you hung up. Oh well. Love you lots sister. Goodnight.”


I wound up chatting with one of my friends’ from college dubbed Jane, online my cell phone. Jane kept contact with me after I graduated college.

She keeps on sending me her email address and saying “Email me if you want to talk!”

Don’t want to use the internet unless Yana text emails me that she’s gone to work. Or Yana text emails me to call her via landline phone.


Books I’ve read. I’ve read about ten books while I was hospitalized. One was unfinished. The chapters were really short. I didn’t like the book very much. I tried to read it a murder mystery at first. The book turned out disturbing involving a couple murdered by a person enjoying it. It sucked and bothered me. So I wound up skipping ahead and read about a few chapters in the ending. It’s a rather weird book.


Don’t think I’ll read anything of this author again involving his adult books. I think I’ll read his teens series. I kind of like that series. I also know he came out with another teens’ series. I aim to read that when I can get the chance from the town library.


I’ve managed to read and finish this science fiction novel by Beth Hoyer involving the Edenia Series. It’s a really good book. I managed to enjoy the book enough to rate it five stars out of five. I aim to get that book listed online The Shelf where I’m known as Victoria. Just plain old Victoria.


I managed to read seven books that belonged to the hospital’s eating room. One book was an anthology involving four books. The four books are listed separately in my journal. I’m not listing those books together as one book on The Shelf. I’m listing them as separate four books period.


Anyway I read in the four book story like an anthology.

One nurse commented seeing me reading the book “This story your reading had a movie out that was really good.”

I asked town library in Chinatown for that movie. Just have to wait for inter library loan for the DVD as it’s called. Anyway rated the book three stars out of five stars. I sort of liked the book but the story isn’t the type for me to read again. So I’m not keen on that.


The second story was in first person. Its language put me off at first when I read the first page of that story. It was first person in a male’s point of view including vulgarity too. I didn’t like the story at first. I forced myself to read the entire story. Mostly because I didn’t have anything to read at the time. I finished another book and was waiting for Thomasine to come to bring books to read for me. I rate the story two stars out of five.


Third story I kind of liked that story. It’s really interesting. I’ve read that book once years ago. I haven’t read that book in awhile. So I rate it four stars out of five stars. I really liked that story. I also might read more of the author’s work involving the book if I can find anything involving it at the town library. Have to research online The Shelf for that.


Fourth story was an interesting story. Seems like a romance but didn’t have much of the sexual themes in it involving romances. It seemed to have something else. The story was also a western themed in the early nineteen century eighteen hundredths after the year of the lord Lance Richard himself. Mostly when the USA was being discovered soon after the transfer from Earth to Shadan as the planet was called back then with survivors living and forming newer territories and towns. Its rather interesting book. I rate it three stars out of five. Just not sure if that story was impressive. The story didn’t make me want to finish it in one sitting. Since I was hospitalized and bored I forced myself to read more of that story till I finished the entire book.


I read other books at the hospital.

One was “Love Inspirational” by Soulers’ Soul that was an anthology of one hundred stories put together.

The Soulers’ Soul was a part of books the hospital owned.


I saw a Verona Vander book there but didn’t read it. Vander’s book involved a royal family from the looks of it. I think I’ve read that book before. Not entirely sure if I have a copy of it. I’ll have to check my bookcase and bug town library for it.


Anyway “Love Inspirational” was pretty good.

I rate it five out of five stars. It’s a really good book. That book was something that helped cheered me up from being depressed while hospitalized. I enjoyed it.


Verona Vander’s “Royal Family of Oceana” was the first book I’ve read by this author before involving royalty.

I found the book was a historical document involving the Humans’ who crowned themselves King or Queen of the cold winter territory dubbed Oceana in the South Pole of Aire. I don’t remember reading anything by her involving the Royal family of Oceana. I liked that book but I don’t remember much involving it. I rate it three stars out of five. I don’t remember much of the story at the moment. Perhaps later I’ll remember.


There’s another book by Verona Vander I remembered involved the Royal family of Oceana titled something of a name I think was “Pavel’s Promise.”

I remember some of that book involving an exiled prince named Pavel Palin promising to live for a female princess named Tamyara Chennikova he was paired to that later died off poison.

I don’t remember much of that book “Pavel’s Promise” I think.

Schizophrenic voice said “You got books mixed up!”

This deflated my mood to enjoy that book and remember it despite the schizophrenic voice kept telling me “Bad! Mixing up books!”

Anyway I rate that book three stars out of five in response to not remembering it’s contents via computer journaling notes of books’ lists.


I’ve read three of Veronica Thomas Incorporation’s books of my own while I was hospitalized.


Shanna Marie’s book “Not an Assassin” started out as first person of a male main character writing his story onto a paper with pen.

Book reminded me of Tank’s blaring stories onto whoever was willing to listen to him and his noises. Not entirely sure of what to make of that book creepy reminding me of the Meritanians’ blaring. Also I’m like two hundred pages away from finishing that book. Just have to get around to finishing it.


Borsova’s book is an already read book I’ve thought of while hospitalized.

I asked Junior “We forced him to visit!” by Merra as said “I claimed that responsibility.” to pick up that book for me to read.

I wound up reading almost that entire book one day I stayed in my room. I only quit around two or three chapters left going to bed. It was like eleven o’clock when I quit. Plus my roommate was asleep. I managed to finish that book the next day.


As for Borsova’s book I’m never tired of it. I find I like to read that book over and over. Not in one sitting back to back. Mostly from time to time once in awhile is when I would be willing to read that book again. Not entirely sure of how many times I’ve read that book this year. I’ll have to consult The Shelf. I always rate it five stars out of five stars and favor that book online there.


After I finished Borsova’s book I wound up thinking of her husband Mykaru Visser’s autobiography book. I didn’t start reading that book yet. Been meaning to read it but haven’t bothered to do that yet.


I figured once I have finished some books I’ll reward myself with reading Mykaru Visser’s book. Just don’t want to read too many at the same time and stress myself out. I prefer to read one or two at a time instead. Just do.


I’m just waiting to finish Mia Mairead’s book first before I start any new books.

Been thinking of “I’m Kicking!” for awhile.

I figured since I’ve been thinking of it I might as well read that book before bed. So far that book is pretty good to my standards. It was hard to tear myself from reading it last night. Also it’s in hardcover and a first edition. Might be worth some money online but isn’t signed.


I think I’ll keep some books on hand till I’m sure I can donate them to Shanna Marie to donate to the children’s hospital. I like to donate books to them via Shanna Marie doing it for me anonymously for me. Mostly positive books including books on famous people suffering medical problems.


I donated “Going for goals” By Michelle Michael.

She’s a woman a part of the Americania’s woman’s professional soccer league suffering from a medical problem involving fatigue syndrome that played for the Americanians in the TUGs. I tried that book after awhile of not reading it. I realized that book was mostly rants involving her suffering from her fatigue syndrome and unable to play soccer despite her heart’s in it that sports. I didn’t like it very much so I gave up and donated that book to Shanna Marie to donate to children’s hospital.


Have some books on hand I haven’t read in years. I have to see about reading those books. Including Beth Hoyer’s Edenia Series involving Hayu’s Tales. I’ve been meaning to read the series again when I can. I think I only read it once but not entirely sure of that. I have kept the books all paperbacks from Borders’ Books a bookstore. I bought when working there one day. I used my employee discount to buy the books. Bought with a check. I didn’t have a card back then. Still don’t have a card now. Gave it up.


I have been meaning to read Veronica Thomas Incorporation’s version of “Tom the Berserker’s series”

I’ve been meaning to read that books but haven’t bothered. I have multiple copies of that book on hand. I’m not sure what’s keeping me from reading that series. That despite it’s already tales on my Tom Mindbender Thunder himself. I already read the latest trilogy and found the books very interesting worth of reading the beginning of the series. The series is very positive and well worth of reading again.


I think most of my books I have kept on hand are autobiography books by athletes I favor. Including autobiography books on famous people I favor. I think I have favored the athletes’ books into my bookshelf. Natalia Borsova’s book is one favored book that I have two copies of it.


I received a visit from my nurse who visits me for checking my vitals. She doesn’t care that I go around publicity in a wheelchair. Instead pretty much prefers me to be out of that thing in my apartment. Nurse arrived into lobby as announced by butler James with two students. One was not entirely human with a name on her nametag that made me think she was partially Highlander. Ugh that name involved some Japanese version of her name of Meg involved the name of Megumi.


I swear the High Council is still favoring Japan in Aire and their languages uses and names’ hence Highlanders having Japanese themed names. I also noticed Japanese themed greetings involving bowing when greeting a person instead of a handshake. Ugh also notice the High Council keeps flaunting into people’s faces as the responsible party for starting the nation of Japan in Terra. Ugh really annoying!


The nurse examined me for the rashes involving lack of undergarments. Seems rashes are common among natives for lack of undergarments. Also I allowed her students to check me for the breathing including blood pressure. It was rather nice I guess.


Was pretty much stressed out by that examination and having the nursing students here in my living room. It sucked when I had to put up with that.


Samantha was her usual playful self. Cute. I guess. She clawed the lounge chair in the living room.

“Receiving room.” as James’ calls the living room.

She wound up playing games including playing with a milk tie in front of the nurse and students. Even hung around them allowing me to pet her and pick her up for hugs. Cutest cat ever is so cute when hugged. She wasn’t in the mood to be hugged when I picked her up. Instead put her down and let her run around here.


Boy was I glad the nurse and students left which I wound up transported to Jinks Montreal’s residence and told by the High Council’s servant Tank “Your living there for awhile.”

Tank or the High Council wasn’t specific on why’s I was living at Jinks’ residence despite suspecting it’s a sanctuary place for people to avoid getting Meritanians’ memory mind transmitting jokes onto them. I found this memory mind trick quit when’s I was in Jinks’ residence and sleeping in his daughter’s bedroom. Jinks, was no where in sight at the time when I stayed but I was allowed to be given free use of the residence by the butler but not Jinks’ main bedroom.

James always appeared to me via nowhere like he had tech on his form hiding him and saying “This bedroom is forbidden for you to enter.”

I wound up forced to walk away as a result.


I wound up eating some food just to have something for my stomach. Ugh. Got the butler or servants to cook something for me after I arrived to the dining room.

I yelled “James!”

He gave up his familiar Tsk sound to announce his presence.

I wound up ordering him “Tell the cook, to cook me a grilled cheese sandwich and make two of them including strawberry milkshakes to drink.”

I’m just waiting for the food to cook so I can eat something decent-


Interrupted by the butler’s familiar Tsk noise. He arrived with a tray holding foods I noticed weren’t my regular foods.

I asked him “What’s going on with that food I’m eating?”

Butler spoke “Kitchen is out of your regular foods as you ordered. Only had this left for feeding you. You’re required to grocery shop for buying your own foods. I’m required to cook it for you.”

Needless to say I didn’t protest to that talk. Mostly because I can barely cook my own food for myself. I depend on the butler or whoever is in the kitchen to cook for me. It also involves the butler nuking my food via kitchen appliances or whatever it is involved cooking wise. I figured after I eat I’ll then after that go grocery shopping for more food.


I’m just trying to avoid buying too much junk food. If I want chocolate I’ll roll to the pharmacy and buy some then go home. Also the same for ice cream. The ice cream shop Creamsicle is open so I figured I’ll walk to there for ice cream and then walk home. Don’t need to buy some from grocery stores. Just give Creamsicle business.


I wound up home from staying at Jinks’ residence after transportation to the High Council involving mind scanning me despite my time staying there undisturbed by the Meritanians. I also wound up noticing my typing I typed into the laptop during my time there was downloaded and rudely erased. Hence I have to start all over again


From what I remembered involving staying at Jinks’ residence with the cute baby kitten transported to keep me company. She appeared via light show onto jumping onto my lap when I was watching TV with a loud yowl. Poor Kitty! She hid underneath the couch in response after getting off my lap. I couldn’t get her out as a result.


Cute baby kitten is hanging around me at the moment. She’s just tummy sitting as I type onto the laptop while waiting for the butler to dish out a list of my food. Mostly some foods I need to buy.

I asked the butler “James, kindly give me a list of foods for me to purchase from the grocery store.”

He obeyed with “Certainly Missus Thunder.”

James still refers me as Missus Thunder despite I known as Tom Thunder’s wife.


James went back into the kitchen as a result. I wound up typing into here to notice my cute baby kitten seated on the floor nearby me. Cutie looks cute when her tummy sits. Makes me want to pet her cute furry back and make it arch up in response with tail sticking in the air. Cute!


I have to quit the laptop typing and go to the TV’s room with the local news’ report blaring onto it. I missed the local news’ report today. Mostly via being onto the computer replying to emails including being online the internet.


Lunch was served according to the butler interrupting my TV watching. Well wound up eating food while in front of the TV in the TV’s room. Watched the local news. Also cute baby kitten hung around me eating my food. Mostly in some begging way of staring at me till I give her something. I refused to give her Human food. Instead I ignored her and ate my pizza.

“The pizza” according to the butler “It’s nuked into the microwave for you to eat.”

He gave me the pizza via plate and I took it into the TV room to watch TV while eating. I habitually have been eating my food via the TV room. Mostly out of missing my Tom and his absence. I don’t like eating alone in the dining room. It reminds me too much of Jinks my father’s presence in the residence and my time eating there with my Tom.


After that went back onto the computer. Just itching to type something hence I doing this blog down instead. It sure does stink when I’m just in a typing mood and nothing I can do involving getting muse talk typed down. I’m stuck typing this journal entry into my blog instead. It stinks.


I did talk to the nurse about doing themes for my blog. Just not entirely sure if I would wound up doing that or not.


I thought I would do books as one theme. Just sort of review some books instead of reviewing them online Shelf. I figured I’ll blog about the books instead of whining negative Nancy news onto there. Just depends on how I feel involving that theme.


Besides I put my blog’s address online my Shelf’s account of Victoria. I posted that online my biography page and thought I would get more people to read my blog. Just some publicity stunt for my blog.


I don’t feel up to typing in Victoria a biography paragraph about my life. I prefer to blog about it instead.


I wound up posting the links to my blog online Shakespir’ website a self publishing website for authors. I figured it shouldn’t be a problem for people to read about my life. Mostly read what’s plaguing me or something instead of just describing it via biography page. I don’t particularly care to post anything in my biography page on Shakespir’ website about my life.


I prefer people to read my blog instead. Just do. Since the internet is balking on letting me doing anything I figured I’ll just use my word program for blogging my entries down. Mostly copying the entries onto my blog’s website. Just hope the internet isn’t giving me problems doing that.


I could have done that at the local College’s University at their library. But their word program is advanced than my program. It’s really not compatible with my program. I highly doubt that I’ll succeed in doing that copying onto their computer or internet.


I could have tried the town library’s computer but not entirely sure if its compatible with my word program. I think it is. I have to see about asking Yana for improvements for my word program. Maybe get an advanced version or something.


Sheesh Internet froze up again. I swear the lousy weather hitting the USA or Americania as it’s referred now, is wrecking up my internet service. It sucks when this has to happen.


I tried to get online but that website keeps on freezing up too many times. It froze up again that I couldn’t get online there. I think the internet service for that website is too advanced for my internet.


I might have to go online and find another website for blogging instead. It sucks when I’m stuck blogging onto the computer onto my word program. It sucks when the internet refuses to cooperate. It sucks when I’m unable to update my blog with stuff. It sucks.


I like to share stuff online my blog but it sucks when I can’t do that because my internet refuses to cooperate. It’s annoying and aggravating me.


The lack of internet working leaves me no choice but to use the word program instead. I just don’t like having to use my computer for my journaling entries.


I habitually write down journaling complaints and stuff. But I was in a typing mood so onto the computer I’m on doing this blog entry.


I might as well save my journal onto my disk and take my chances with the computers at the town library later. Maybe tomorrow I’ll rope McCarty into driving me around. Perhaps grocery shopping and town library too. Shouldn’t be a problem I guess.


Anyway I’m bored of the TV. Just am. Might as well type something else off the top of my head involving my life.

Heard blaring from a Meritanian, Merra speaking to me “What about your internet life or whatever it is?”

I figured Merra was talking to me but I wasn’t sure when I heard her snickering in response to her question before I could think of a response to her question.


I’m known as Victoria while online The Shelf. I listed my name as Nikolina once but didn’t like it. I thought Nikolina was too close to the vampire god’s name of Nikolas. I prefer to be known as Victoria instead. It’s a feminine name and much better than Nikolina. I just do.


I already use Nikolina name for some message boards. Like one involving Romantic magazine. I ought to get online there and see what I can do. I’m not online there very much. I meant to be online but I haven’t in awhile. It’s been a long time actually.


Anyway I went online Shelf’s website. Meant to post about ten books but found four of them are together into one book. So that made it seven books.


Plus there are multiple versions of “Learning to Fly” by Natalia Borsova’s autobiography book.

Ugh. I keep on picking different versions as a result. It sucks when I do that but nothing I can do involving it.


Also found the journal I’m writing in as listed as a book “Staying Strong” by the Soulers’ Soul book’s singer Victoria as she’s named.

Victoria is a Souler which it’s interesting. I’m trying my best to write into this journal with neat handwriting including what I can involve making sure the handwriting is readable. I tend to write sloppily but I’m trying to write neater and neater.


Chapter Four

From my Journal “Shelf worked internet wise. Yay. Managed to add about seven books as read. Added three as I’m in progress of reading. This journal is counted as a book too.”

Well nice I guess.


Sam’s gone to snooze onto her chair in my bedroom. Ugh. It’s got a blanket on top. Yana gave me that blanket. Meant to sleep with it but haven’t ugh.


Well cut down three or four books onto Shelf as one anthology. I wasn’t sure if that book was online Shelf. Hence I having four books listed separately. I assumed it’ll be separate books. Turns out its not. Ugh.


Tempted to blog about this. Mostly prefer being on computer than TV watch.


“Stuff to add” as blared by Merra saying it to me.

Just in a typing mood at the moment. Hence I was copying an entry via my journal onto the computer. Just tempted to keep on copying this journal onto my computer. Mostly found some good entries into my journal when looking back into it. I figured I’ll copy the journal till I get fed up with it. Mostly to fill in entries into here including keep on typing stuff down. I’m in a typing mood.


From my Journal: “I’ve finished eight books while hospitalized. One was a creepy book. Couldn’t finish it but read the ending. Humph Rate that book one star out of five. Mostly one star means it’s terrible. More creep out by it. Yuck. Maybe I’ll try again later to finish that book entirely. Ugh Oh well.”


Wound up reading a book involving Soulers’ Soul last night during boring TV. The book’s one of mine actually themed writing a published work by Veronica Thomas Incorporation. Read a great deal of that book. Read up till parts of part five into one story about eight pages. I managed to like the book so far. Problem is I had to go to bed which I went.


Woke up this morning and read this book or anthology of stories involving Soulers’ Soul and figured I’ll finish it. Well nice that I finished that book.

I rate the book titled “Soulers’ Soul for Writing” five stars out of five for be very positive involving writing as the book’s theme.

I found that book helped me forget I was schizophrenic and drowned out the noises of the Meritanians’ snickering laughter into my mind. Yay for me!


Also wondering if I should read another book either my own or the town library’s? Ugh. There’s one that caught my eye I’m dying to read that’s one of my own. Ugh. Well maybe I’ll read that book despite the cover features a male’s yummy muscular abs.


Trying to read something. Not keen on books. Read too many I think involving my mood now. Now I’m fed up. Humph.


Also haven’t written in a journal in awhile. Picked this one from home. Mostly for Junior to pick up easily from home. Humph. Also some books for me to read when I’m bored. Ugh.

Well thought I would write in a journal instead.


Reading Shanna Marie’s book in first person told in a young boy’s point of view involving the young boy not willing to be trained as an assassin of the High Council. Book seemed to be something of the Meritanians’ historical documentary talk involving Jinks Montreal himself not willing to be an assassin. I noticed the book seemed to have Meritanians’ voiced tones when I read it.

I wound up eyeinig Natalia Borsova’s autobiography “Learning to fly.”

Not entirely sure if I would want to read that again despite always reading that book.

“Boring book!” says schizophrenic voice.



Well don’t know. Trying to read something but not keen at the moment. Humph.

Started Borsova’s book. Still good as ever anyway. I never get tired of that book. Ugh. Also aiming to read as much of Natalia’s book.


Maybe I’ll read the Bible or Soulers’ Sacred Book instead. Well not entirely sure if I would.


Borsova’s book has caught my eye. Well it’s what I’m reading now. Just for awhile till I feel like reading my bible.


Chapter Five

Humph. Finished Natalia’s autobiography. Yay. Well have Shanna Marie’s book to read and finish. Ugh I might as well go to the town library and amuse myself with books there.


Humph plan to ask town library for books galore. Also aim to ask when I get the chance. Kind of like the books I’m reading involving Shanna Marie’s writing for the Meritanians as obviously she’s writing for the plants. Humph. Maybe I’ll read something else once I get to the town library. Ugh.


Two hundred pages to go and I’ll be done with Shanna Marie’s book. Ugh. Also not entirely sure of what book to read next once I finished her book.


Been thinking of Mykaru Visser’s autobiography book to read next. I have a copy of it at home. Have to wait till I get home from the town library to consider reading that book. Barely remember the title of Visser’s book. Ugh.


Wanted to read Mia Mairead’s autobiography next. Been thinking of that book lately. Ugh. Either I read it or donate to Shanna Marie for children’s hospital.


Also started Mia’s book once home. Seems pretty good for me. Some what an autobiography and a self help book on life and on soccer too. Haven’t really read that book in years. Oh well. Haven’t read Mia’s book since I’ve moved into here into my own residence. About time I guess.


Also about time I’ve read books I’ve favored. Also read books from town library too. I have one book from there checked out yesterday. I aim to read it. I aim to enjoy that book if I can.


“Stuff on life!” as blared by the Meritanians again sounding like schizophrenic’s voice.

It sucks.


I copied entries from my journal that involved me reading books but found those entries erased from the laptop computer like the High Council didn’t approve of them. Nothing involving anything else but books’ themed journaling entries. Ugh I swear the High Council didn’t care for my obsession with books’ themed journaling via computer hence them erased. I remembered when I did that copying for nothing I mostly skipped entries involving the cute baby kitten. I didn’t feel up to including her into here despite writing about her in some lovely dove term of loving that baby cat too much.


I only added stuff involving what I’m reading and how I’m feeling involving books. I was trying to make a theme of books in this journal that got erased by the High Council. Blast them!


I was hoping on making my journal entries as stories of my life as just something to self publish onto Shakespir’ website when the internet for it works. Smashwofs keeps on crashing my internet and wrecking my efforts to including stories of my life to self publish online. This is terrible when that has to happen. Nothing I can do about it except hope for the best that the internet later cooperates.


“Crash on purpose.” said voice.

I’m not entirely sure of what the voice meant by that talk. Weird.


I figured if Shakespir keeps on crashing I’ll update my blog online my journal’s website. Mostly as a book entry or something involving my life. Not entirely sure of how many pages I should wait till I update my blog online my journal’s website. Ugh.


Also same with the covers too. I don’t know what picture to use as covers involving this blog. Oh well. Maybe a picture of me reading a book or something. I’m not entirely sure if I would.


I would probably label this journaling stories online Shakespir as “Diary of a mad woman.”

I had entries online my journal’s website involving that. Now I’m just not able to get online my journal’s website very much. Internet isn’t working much. Same for my cell phone’s internet. It’s slow and sluggish must be the terrible weather outside today hence this joke status of crashed internet. Ugh.


Mostly skipping talk shows on TV to type onto the computer. I’m just obsessed with the typing onto the computer than watch junk on TV. Ugh.


Tomorrow is Saturday or Caturday in cat’s terms. I don’t know if I would want to go out for a walk tomorrow. I might just haul my grocery cart to the city’s little grocery store including those bags. Mostly buy some food I know I can eat and will eat. Plus some fruit too like bananas and some apples. I wouldn’t mind buying food from there. It’s the pits having to haul that grocery cart home.


Also I’m not entirely sure if I would want to go to the town library. I went to the town library one Saturday and wound up with a bad attack of schizophrenia that triggered my sense of privacy off. I had to tolerate the attack while out doing stuff. Mostly including grocery shopping with McCarty driving me around. It sucked when I felt like I had no privacy from the schizophrenia like chanting started into my head and made me feel paranoid. It sucked.


Plus there’s a book at the town library that’s caught my eye. It’s the latest book in the Edenia Series by Beth Hoyer. I’m dying to read that book but it’s a seven day loaner. Ugh. Not entirely sure if I’m willing to try seven days to read that thing. Yuck. Too stressful.


I’m just trying to avoid stressing myself out with books and stuff to avoid getting attacked by the schizophrenia again.

My friend Shanna Marie seemingly knowing my problems of schizophrenia said to me “I know of a friend who claimed that she was so stressed that she wound up into the hospital for relaxing and decompressing.”

Ugh Shanna Marie wound up leaving another book by her autographed to me I was forced to buy by the cashier again giving me the evil eye of “Confess your crime.”

It sucked when the cashier does that look and expects people to purchase items he’s glaring at people holding in their hands. It stinks when that has to happen. Nothing I can do except just buy that book and hope for the best.


“Sucks like stinkers anyway” says the Meritanians.

I wound up going home to the dining room to type onto the laptop computer. That comment reminds me of when I’m suffering from attacks of schizophrenia while outside. I’m trying to live into this apartment with the cute baby kitten. I keep getting bad attacks of schizophrenia that puts me into the hospital within a few months of the year. I keep getting myself into the hospital’s seventh floor. It’s annoying me when that has to happen. Ugh. Just not entirely sure of what to do involving those attacks or the Meritanians’ blaring triggering them.

The attacks “Sucks like stinkers.” said Merra as identified as that voiced talker.


Even gorilla Tom or any clones of Tom hasn’t been visiting me very often as I wanted for lovemaking periods.

“Babying in the shower” as said by him involving rituals involving lovemaking.

Ugh stinks when I’m stuck at home here worrying about Tom occasionally. Nothing I can do involving that except hope for the best that Tom is doing fine.


Maybe I should take some yoga classes at the University in the fall semester. See what I can do to relax and avoid stressing myself out. Perhaps yoga would help me relax. Maybe learn to mediate too. I wouldn’t mind that.


Ugh found out online when that University offers yoga classes. Problem is yoga is at night for two hours. I don’t like rolling home at night very much or walking myself. I just don’t. I don’t walk straight when walking home at night.

I roll weave like a drunkard when cops stop me on the way home of my rolling via wheelchair say “We demand you to give us a breathe test!”

It stinks when my trip home taking fifteen minutes rolling from the University becomes an hour by cops stopping me all the time for my weaving rolling. This stinks.


I don’t like rolling home even during the day. I tried to roll slow one day while out. People walking by kept on pushing my wheelchair and kept on insisting “You should roll faster stop being slow!”

I wound up attacked by the schizophrenia on the way home triggering my paranoia to go off. It caused me to roll fast as a result. Mostly to get home and relax. I keep getting attacked by the schizophrenia when I roll home on that street.


I also get attacked when I’m rolling to the pharmacy or to the drink shop for lunches with whoever cares to eat with me.

Mostly Shanna Marie who insisted to me “You’re to buys a book of mine I autographed for you.”

Shanna Marie is terrible trying to get people to make her books a success when she’s still doing that joke status onto unsuspecting people to buy her books. Ugh.


I find that Shanna Marie is spying onto me. I quit going to the drink shop for sitting around reading books. Only went to there to buy Tom’s favorite herbal tea drink then rolled myself to the ice cream shop for sitting around reading.


Shanna Marie seemed to be spying onto me found me there soon after I arrived and got me a drink of lemonade tasting yucky like herbal tea in it. I realized with a start that she stole my Tom’s herbal tea drink from my wheelchair’s bag and poured it into the lemonade. A trick she kept on doing to me every time I went to Creamsickle.


I was forced to go back to that drink shop as a result and resume my drinking lemonade there. Shanna Marie managed to quit her pouring my Tom’s herbal tea into my lemonade drink. Instead is still up to her trick of getting me to buy her book autographed to me. I don’t like that trick and I can’t seem to stop it.

I told Shanna Marie once “I can’t keep buying books every time I’m here.”

She ignored my comment and got me to buy this book “My Life as a Vampire” by Beth Hoyer autographed to me saying “To Vicky, happy reading, from Shanna Marie.”


I hate the Vicky name and hate being called that as a joke.

Even the joke status of “Sticky Vicky” I hate that name.

I don’t like it when the Meritanians via Merra call me that joke name whenever she wants me to type a story for her.

Merra interrupting my thoughts by blaring “Sticky Vicky I’ve got a story for you to type!”

I’m compelled via compulsion of Meritanians’ mind walking powers to type that story down despite Merra needs work with her grammar and run on sentences. Ugh hence I’m forced to go over those stories and edit them then submit them to Veronica Thomas Incorporation underneath the name of Merra Planter.

The Veronica Thomas Incorporation’s main editor always emails me “Sorry couldn’t get my interests.” whenever they reject publishing those stories.

I’m not entirely sure of why’s that editor is rejecting stories by the Meritanians is submit to them.

I already tried to asking Merra “Why’s that editor rejecting your stories I submit for you?”

The schizophrenic voice in response instead of Merra’s voiced answer always rears its ugly head saying “Their terrible stories and will never get accepted. Hah!”


This is annoying when the schizophrenic voice appears to answer questions I want answered like I asked the Meritanians questions and that voice always gives me a negative Nancy answer to trash me asking that question. Really rude!


I find the paranoia of being unsafe starts getting aggravated when I’m at the intersection waiting for the walk signal. It also started making me feel like I have no privacy when I’m at the drink shop’s front near the pharmacy. I don’t particularly care for that.


There’s times when I go to that pharmacy for pills, that sitting around reading a book helps me avoid the schizophrenia’s attack to progress further. Sometimes the book reading doesn’t work. So I tend to mostly sit around reading books while waiting for my prescriptions to be filled. I gave up wandering around the pharmacy due to the evil eyes of the pharmacists and cashier doing it to whomever in the store. Also mostly because of the attacks of schizophrenia causes me to sit near the waiting area and read my books I’ve brought along via purse attached to my wheelchair.


One day I went to University intending to meet my friend Jane for lunch. It was after she emailed me abruptly after being silent so long.

She emailed me this morning “You want to meet for lunch at the University in my office?”

I emailed “Sure.”

I got nothing in response to confirmation.


I wound up attacked on the way to the pharmacy via my paranoia going off. I was intending to buy some candy as dessert. I wound up doing that candy buying then after that walked to the University to sit next to the elevator. People coming and going around the elevator creeping me out too much to bother me and my paranoia. So I went to Jane’s office to wait for her.


She was in her office but on the phone so I waited in the hallway while reading my bible. The bible reading helped me avoid hearing the noise. It was till I got into Jane’s office is when the noise of the Meritanians’ snickering quit but the paranoia was still ongoing. Jane seemed to care that I was bothered by schizophrenia like auditory hallucinations when I explained it to her when she noticed my sad look via eyes.

Instead Jane told me “You have a chemical imbalance in your brain that’s causing the auditory hallucinations of your voice’s problem. Your medicine is something that’s helping correct the chemical imbalance.”

I was rather cheered up by her talk that I wound up staying a whole hour during her lunch break as she works at the university as a communications specialist for Highlanders to use sign language when’s they can’t talk via verbalized words. Nice of her.


It wasn’t till I got home is when I was able to relax from the attack. It sucks.


I don’t particularly care to be attacked by the schizophrenia involving paranoia. I don’t care to be attacked by that voice of the Meritanian or anything in my mind, to cause my paranoia to go off enough to think I don’t have any privacy. Including spied on galore.


Don’t like going to the town library on Saturdays. Mostly because the town library is open for four hours from ten o’clock in the morning to two o’clock in the afternoon. It’s a big stress buster when I go rolling to the town library on Saturdays. The rolling to the town library on Saturdays stresses me out. Mostly involving me trying to get to the town library before when they lock the doors. Ugh. So I worry about trying to get to the town library before that time when I’m rolling outside on Saturdays.


I think I’ll avoid rolling to the town library on Saturdays. Mostly because of the heat and because of that stressful situation.

Saturdays is when McCarty insists to me “I want that day off to attend to my affairs. Don’t disturb me for anything except an emergency for hospital.”

I wound up obeying to his order and wound up rolling around the city as a result.


Also if I want to go out for a walk as I call those rolling via wheelchair tomorrow I’ll go to a restaurant and have lunch. Mostly reading a book while I’m there waiting for my food. But I’m not entirely sure if I have the money for that.


I have five dollars in my wallet I didn’t know I had. I was shocked to find that five dollars among my stuff when the hospital gave it to me.


I figured I’ll give the bank that five dollars and just put it into my savings. Mostly build up my savings to have an enough to pay Sam’s vet bill. She’s due to receive shots soon in Halloween month of Jinks Montreal’s birthday of October a celebrated month of Lance Richard’s. I think its going to cost me a huge amount of money. Might as well save my money now and see how it goes. Plus avoid begging Dad to pay for that bill.


Dad is still Dalton himself who goes around as Jinks Montreal reclusive billionaire. Merra answered my question involving “What’s going on with Dalton fathering me?” Merra spoke “Dalton was put into stasis involving sleeping. While he was asleep he wound up submitting his services for donation once the USA’s land arrived. It was via the Zesky Asylum and Hospital that kept samples of his donation and implanted that into females to carry his offsprings in question. You came from one donation implantation but it made one female crazier from the lack of not able to raise you. Sorry about that. But the craziness involving the schizophrenia as called is passed down onto you from her.”

Hence I’m slightly insane like a lunatic.


Barry appeared via light show once I was home in my apartment and out of Jinks Montreal’s residence to hand me a folder he speaking “Just read it.”

I discovered that folder involved the Zesky Asylum implanting lunatic females who are insane with babies grown inside them altered to be birthed as genetic human weapons or super soldiers.

Ugh something Merra must have eavesdrop me reading this file via reading voice by loudly commented during a break of reading “Sticky Vicky, the High Council copied the Zesky Asylum after they arrived to planet side in hopes of breeding assassins to do work for them in their games with the First Ones.”

I wound up saying in response “What game is the High Council playing your indicating it?”

Merra wound up saying “Oops! I’m not supposed to tell you!”

She wound up cutting her talk by giving me a bad attack of schizophrenia that triggered the paranoia off making me focused onto the computer for a few hours. I found the Meritanians’ mind scanning can caused me those schizophrenic episodes whether they manipulated my mind or not remains to be seen.

I’m not entirely sure if I should focus onto the TV for a few hours. I’m due to eat food like dinner in an hour around five o’clock with my pill. Humph. I’m just not entirely sure of what I’ll be eating for dinner.

I went to the dining room and yelled “James!”

He arrived via Tsk noise which I spoke “What foods do I have for cooking for dinner?”

He wound up telling me “We’re almost out of certain foods related to your diet. We do have foods for Mister Thunder actually when he stops by but not much for you. Sorry Missus Thunder.”

I found that James left the room entering the kitchen ignoring me glaring at him. I figured I might as well go out and buy some foods via grocery cart attached to my wheelchair. Ugh.


I wound up attacked by my paranoia attacking me while I was out among the natives of New York City going to this food store to buy fruit and veggies. It sucked when that happened.


Hence I’m taking pills for the schizophrenia called Geodon. I’m clueless on what I’m supposedly doing with my pills. Such as my Geodon pills involving food. I don’t even know if it’s the same or changed despite the hospital changed it.

The nurse at a visit claimed “The pills are the same old dosages.”

Not entirely sure of that.

Plus the nurse told me “I’ll text email you news on your medicines once I talk to your prescribe doctor.”

I’m not entirely sure if she’ll text email me today or another day. Oh well.


I aim to wait till tomorrow to text email the nurse if she hasn’t text emailed me yet.

I aim to whine to her “What I’m supposedly being doing with my prescriptions?”

Such as my Geodon pills and their dosages despite told by the nurse “You’re supposed to take them with food for them to work.”


Plus my hormone pill involving my lack of working ovaries despite having a uterus and normalized chest area wasn’t taken when I was hospitalized. I sort confirm that I don’t have working ovaries something I suspect the High Council altered out of me when’s I was a baby so I won’t be able to conceive offspring via mating. I think they didn’t want me to pass down the schizophrenic voice like what my mother did to me when she carried me via baby form. Ugh.


I wound up not given that pill. I don’t know if I should keep on taking it or not. I don’t know. I wound up taking it in the morning with my breakfast because the side effects involving me having dry heaves to throw up if I don’t take food with it Yuck.


I don’t have a gynecologist appointment till later. I don’t know if I should ring the doctor up and ask. Maybe I’ll wait till Monday next week. Too late to phone them now. It’s four o’clock. Doubt the doctor is in her office. Plus doubt the office is open for me to talk to someone involving my prescriptions. I think their closed. Not entirely sure. Doubt that I’ll be able to get a straight answer involving one of my prescriptions for hormones. Ugh.


Besides I’ve meant to go watch the TV but haven’t bothered to do it yet. I also am a bit sweaty too. I cut the heat around the time Yana text emailed me. I haven’t opened a window yet. Just letting the cold air from outside leak into here. Making it cold. Just hoping that I won’t be too cold tonight when I go to bed. Ugh.


The hospital was warm and nice and toasty when I was there. Mostly warm in their rooms. But cold in the eating room.


Also I wound up wearing a pair of New York football’s team’s sweats for their men’s Soccer team as my pajamas when I slept in bed. I even wore them home too via wheelchair.

The hospital’s nurse told me “I insisted you wheel yourself to the car outside.”

I wound up doing that outside to McCarty standing in front of the car in the parking lot but McCarty refused to park in front of the hospital’s entrance for me to get into the car. Instead he parked into a small parking lot and made me wheel all over the place till I used my cell phone to text email his location. As for my NY sweats I didn’t wear them for bed last night. Instead wore my nightgown without the undergarments as usual.


Involving the hospital sleeping I kept waking up with sweats while wearing those New York’s clothes. Mostly in the morning. I’m not entirely sure why I kept on having that sweatiness. Oh well.


Besides I’m just typing whatever comes to my mind at the moment. Just to have an excuse to stay onto the computer and type galore.


I wanted to type muse talk I referred as my stories I’ve wanting to type but wasn’t able to do it.

The schizophrenic voice has been saying “I doubt you can type muse talk.”

The annoying voice says that whenever I go onto the computer in the morning intending to type my stories I’ve thought from sleeping in bed.

Merra wound up saying in response to my thinking that “Just typed your thoughts instead of cluttering your laptop with junky stories.”

Really Merra?!


I find my mood to type muse talk after I get up in the morning is there. It’s when I get onto the computer intending to type is when the mood goes away. I find I don’t get to type much muse talk as a result. Hence my cravings to type something involving story talk wise.

Mostly left to type my thoughts as a result enforced by Merra blaring it onto me “I insists you type your thoughts down than clunky stories!”

She calls my stories clunky really annoying..


I find I type onto the blog online but the website hasn’t been working so I’ve given up typing onto there. I’ve been typing entries onto my blog in my word program. Mostly to fill in my time out of boredom. Also fill in my time of getting my typing urges away from me. It’s been great doing that typing as a result.


I think my typing drives the neighbor’s dog crazy to bark too much. Hence the neighbor bangs onto the ceiling.

I whined to James about that “The neighbor’s damn dog is barking every time I type onto the computer hence his ceiling banging.”

He didn’t take me seriously.

He claims “The neighbor plays loud music that’s vibration via the floor.”


Yana called the neighbor “Fat and lazy.” mostly via typing onto operated phone while at home.

I whined to Yana “The neighbor is banging in response to that mongrel dog of theirs barking whenever I’m on the computer typing.”

Hence Yana’s insulting comment and she changed the subject abruptly about books’ she’s reading and refused to talk more of it despite I kept whining to her. Ugh.

I whined to Yana “The neighbor a female part of the couple ignores me when I try to be friendly with them.”

Yana didn’t help instead said “Just ignore them.”


I’m not entirely sure if I’m quoting Yana correctly word to word. I’m just quoting via my memory of what I’ve read from Yana via laptop typing conversation via phone operator.


I’m pretty good with remembering quotes when I write them down. I’m not that good with remembering stuff without writing down notes involving it. My notes involving me writing it down helps me remember.


Plus same with remembering to pay bills. I wrote a note stuffed in my calendar to remember to pay my cellular bill when the third of the month rolls around. Just so I won’t get an email involving having to pay my bill.


Baby cute kitten is currently onto the couch at the moment. I spotted her when I got up to check something. Anyway she’s currently onto the couch. She sure looks cute when she’s on the couch. Very pet able. Makes me want to pet her and snatch her up for hugs including slathering cute baby kitten with lots of snout kisses.

Mom aka Natasha Novgorod before she passed away from craziness when I told her “I love to slobber cats with kisses onto their snout.”

Natasha would have a fit involving that slobbering of kisses onto Sam.

Mom claims “Cat’s licking tongue is dirty and the same for their mouth. Their mouth is always makes me think its dirty from don’t know where it’s been despite always cleaning their tush.”

She calls bottom a tush involving bathroom talk.


Pity that she passed away put down asleep by some drugged status courtesy of Dad or whoever was posing as him doing it at the time via ordered status despite a rumor saying “She committed suicide by her own self.”

I’m not sure of what’s with that talk despite thinking “Her death was via drugs.”

Mom’s husband Madisoni had no fits in response instead took his boat into the ocean and haven’t been seen since.


The official story is “Madisoni Novgorod threw himself off his boat and drowned himself in response out of love towards Natasha Novgorod no longer living.”

Pity or got roped into serving the High Council for being a Compeller himself. He’s like Barry can compel people to do things via voice talent orders.


Mom when I tried to introduce her books to read wound up calling calls this book series “Tom the Berserker” saying “It’s awfully a terrible story.”

Ugh she said that when she was too far gone into her madness of paranoid schizophrenic to know that the series was based onto my hubby Tom himself.

She refused to acknowledge that issue of my Tom instead called it “The story is terrible.”

She read the first book in the series and didn’t appreciate the sexual innuendo in it. Natasha my mother is anti-sex when’s it comes to sexual innuendo in books.

My mother says during bouts of lucidity “There’s a difference from having sex and making love.”


I managed to read the first two books of the trilogy and still didn’t mind it but I felt like the story was different toned than what Tom told me via me typing down his story via laptop his first story of that series. I don’t get it why that book is popular other than authors of romance raving about it.

One author claimed “Tom the Berserker was filled with sexual stuff within three pages of it.”

Jeez hence that book’s popularity. Mostly word of mouth involving authors speaking it via their blogs that got that book a bestseller including a popular TV movie made out of it too.


Interesting except no one knows that this Tom in the book is my Tom himself. It’s too bad the High Council has balked letting my Tom acknowledge this status.

Instead they insisted to a clone “You’re to remain hidden via Keo Tech implant into your body when visiting the city to check out this news of the book’s popularity.”

Not even sure where it’s implanted into him. I haven’t bothered to ask. I don’t think I would ask that clone that question. That clone via when’s I met him seemed terribly angry about something and wasn’t shaking that anger despite my attempts to calm him down. I sort of gave up asking in response.


I do can track the cloned Tom with the implant Keo tech via cell phone application giving me his location. I’ve used that to track him from time to time whenever he’s in the city doing a job for the Souler Council before they changed to High Council. It’s when I can’t sleep at night as a result and too worried about him to track him via the city. I find the cell phone doesn’t highlight his location when he’s in Australia Atoll or elsewhere than the city.


Anyway as for the movie version of “Tom the Berserker” I’ve heard that there’s a TV series going to be made out of it.

I’m really not sure if I’ll ever watch the movie version. Mostly because of the sexual scenes in it via previews. I just don’t particularly care for nudity in movies or sexual scenes either. I tried one movie that had sex in it and didn’t appreciate it. Yuck. I do like doing sexual stuff to my Tom but not watching that via TV or movie. It stinks when I’m like that attitude. I blame my mother for that anti-sexual attitude.


I saw was a movie based on a sexually graphic series on cable TV including the books too. I didn’t like the movies very much. Too graphic with the sex too. I’m just not too fond of watching that movie version. I don’t think I’ll watch the TV series. Might be too porn for me.


Also there was a movie that had a sex scene in it I didn’t like very much. I found the movie terrible and not worth watching. Glad I got the DVD from the town library. I didn’t like the movie very much hence I avoided buying the DVD from bookstores. It was some ballet thriller involving psychology and the mind. Didn’t like it very much. Yuck.


Anyway I have to quit the computer soon and go watch TV. Mostly gets dinner cooking in the microwave too as ordered by me to James. Also eat dinner with my pills. I’m still clueless if I should take 120mg of my Geodon pills when the hospital had me take 80mg.

I’m told by the hospital “Your doctor wants you off the 40mg.”

I’m not sure of that.

I already told the nurse of that today “What’s going on with my Geodon pills?”

Like I said she claimed “Your pills are the same dosage as usual.”

Not sure what’s going on with that.


Just not keen on reading a book this afternoon. I might just wait till tomorrow when I go out to eat at a restaurant to read a book. Mostly bring Shanna Marie’s book in my purse. I might just bring another book with me too.


Depends on what book I’m in the mood to read when I go out tomorrow. The weather is supposedly warm as sixties tomorrow with lots of nice sun. I hope so. I like to be able to take a nice walk I call my rolling, around town when I get the chance.


Not entirely sure if I would walk around town tomorrow. It depends on how well rested I get in bed tonight. Including how well I feel when I wake up too. I can’t predict how I’ll feel the next day when it’s the day before that. Mostly depends on how well my sleep is. I do hope Sam isn’t that friendly with me to demand attention. I keep trying to sleep last night into this morning with her demanding attention too much. I kept coming out of REM sleep with her sitting on my front including her pawing me too.


Also I think since I’m home the baby cute kitten would be less friendly onto me while I’m sleeping in bed. I figured she might just ignore me and sleep elsewhere instead. I hope.


Just could use a nice break from the noise in my head. The schizophrenic voice has been blaring a lot since I’ve gotten home from the hospital. I’m not entirely sure of what to make of that. I guess its too much sodium in my diet or something. Ugh.


I’ve been trying to write neatly in my journal to make it easier for someone to read.

“You have horrible handwriting!” according to Thomasine.

I’m trying to write neatly. It’s not easy trying to do that neater writing in my journal. I’m just hoping to show that journal to therapist the doctor when I see him for mental health issues. Maybe some entry I written down about my mental health issues and can’t just talk it out to someone.


Writing is a therapeutic thing I like to do. Its great fun doing that writing. I don’t mind doing that writing. It’s entertaining when I get to write down in my journal memories of stuff involving my life including what the cute baby kitten is doing. Same for whatever I’m watching on TV too.


I didn’t pay attention to the TV very much last night. I was busy writing into my journal too much as a result.


I don’t think Sam appreciated that writing. She got onto my lap and was squirming galore. Poor kitty wanted attention from me but I was ignoring her to write into my journal. Well poor kitty wound up getting off my lap and went to the couch. I think she went to the couch to snooze. Poor kitty. She didn’t visit my lap again as a result. Not till I went to bed is when she became a lap kitty.


Also can’t wait to watch the local news on TV. Want to know what’s the weather report is like. I skipped the local news on at eleven o’clock for a nurse’s visit. The nurse and two students stayed for an hour.


After that I watched noon’s local news. I don’t particularly care for that local news. I only view the weather report then changed the channel to HG.


I prefer to watch HG channel instead of this dratted channel involving talk shows. I prefer the talk shows’ channel than to other channels including something I like watching on HG. I used to watch local NYC’s channel but their news’ broadcasts put me off with crappy stuff so I gave up on that.


I’ve been watching Connecticut’s local news’ channel as a result. Connecticut is the official name of the America’s territory state but the Americanian name is Long River Place. I prefer Connecticut when it comes to their broadcasts of stuff. I don’t mind that portions of their program are pre-recorded. I don’t mind watching Connecticut. Mostly because the news are better for me to listen to and more accurate.


I do mind watching NYC’s local channel because their news isn’t that accurate. They live broadcast their broadcasts including having mistakes into their news that aren’t that accurate. Mostly mistakes that I’m fed up with watching and those talking like tabloid news for senseless ratings. Enough to drive me brainless. Some of those mistakes have put me off from watching NYC. I just don’t like the mistakes very much.


I do tend to watch NYC for their morning show. This followed by another TV show. I don’t occasionally watch that NYC morning show entirely. I only watch it once in awhile if I want something to do in the morning.


I tend to shower after I take my pills. I don’t wait to bother with the showering. The time frame is when I wake up late in bed from being tired. I shower then.


I tend to wake up early in the morning with the sunlight blaring. Since its summertime I might as well be woken up earlier and earlier. I’m not entirely sure of that. Oh well.


I tend to stay up late watching the HG channel then after that I go to bed. I occasionally stay up later than I intended by reading a book.


I figured since the HG channel is airing this annoying TV series tonight. I might skip the TV and just go to my bedroom and read more of Mia’s book. I started that Mia book last night. I think I’ve managed to read two chapters of it. It’s caught my eye and really good. Seems to be a positive book so far from what I’ve read of it. I kind of like it so far. I might favor it into my favorite books bookcase. Depends on whether I can read it over and over.


I tend to favor books over and over enough to read them.

Like “Learning to fly” by Natalia Borsova.

I’ve managed to read that book multiple times this year. It’s still a good book so far. I even favor it too.


I figured when I go to the bookstore I’ll ask for a copy of the electronic versions I already have via electronic reader. Mostly try to get a paper copy despite already having an e-book copy of it. I found my e-reader isn’t doing much for me when the internet is out. Its internet based e-reader. I don’t particularly care for that thing when the internet service is out. Hence I preferred a paper copy of a book instead. Just do.


Haven’t really used that e-reader for reading books in awhile. I keep getting trouble with that thing involving the internet service so I’m just preferring paper copies for books instead. Plus the e-reader is sort of like a mini computer which has a light to keep people up and awake at night. Hence I preferred paper copies of books when reading at night instead of that thing.


Oh I should add that Yana got a side job as a grocery store worker as a cashier in Stop and Shop.

Yana’s work shift involving her at the grocery store as a cashier is said “It is supposedly from morning to afternoon a six hour shift.” as claimed to me via phone this morning.

Yana claimed “I’ll call you back tonight.”

It’s going after seven o’clock and stills no text email from Yana. I dialed her landline around that time after Sam got off my lap. Not impressive! I can’t help worrying about her when it comes to her getting home from work. I can’t help it that I worry about Yana when she’s living alone in Tom’s old apartment. I can’t help worrying that Yana one of those days might not make it home to her residence. I know one of those days I’ll lose my twin sister I affectingly call Yana to death but I can’t stop that worrying. It’s stressful on having to worry about Yana walking home from work to her apartment and getting to bed.

It’s stressful when Yana admitted via phone last night “I’m not feeling well.”

She complained “My stomach hurting me and causing me to go to the bathroom too much time for throwing up. Hence I was skipping work yesterday.”


Today she seemed fine via phone when I talked to her this morning. Just not entirely sure of what’s going on with her tonight. I don’t even know if she’s sick again today or not.


I don’t know if she’s got work overtime from her work shift of to whatever. Or she’s just staying after work to see the next week’s schedule posted up to write it down. Or she’s got work tomorrow that requires her to bed early tonight.


Not so sure. This sucks when I’m worried about Yana and it stresses me out. It sucks big time.


Also sucks when the HG channel is airing this annoying TV series tonight.

I don’t particularly care to hear the voice chant “Love it! List it!”

Mostly chanting results of that contest TV series over and over while I watch it. I just don’t particularly care for that TV series. I just don’t.


Lucky me tonight’s TV series’ episode is a rerun. I figured I might as well skip that and just go onto the computer. Mostly typing this journal entry down out of needing something to do to avoid the TV. Mostly avoiding hearing the Meritanians joining the voice’s chanting the results of that contest TV series. Really Meritanians?!


Also mostly typing my thoughts down while I’m doing my urges to get storytelling typing down. I figured if I can’t type stories I’ll type my thoughts down and just do that for awhile.


I quit the typing to watch the local news including world news on. I even ate dinner too. Dinner wasn’t much as found by James into the kitchen. He’s still keeping me out of being in there. Just gave me some thick sticks of cheese and some grain bars of raspberry. I refused to eat a full meal for dinner without worries of heartburn or my poor stomach aggravated by the food.


I could have included pudding like what James said to me “I got pudding in the kitchen from the neighbor downstairs.” but didn’t bother to do it.

I figured I might eat that later if I’m sure I can sleep with the pudding grumbling in my stomach. Just hope it’s not too much chocolate.


I had some breakfast spread of chocolate and nuts for lunch with some diet pizza. The diet pizza was tasty alone. The breakfast spread was something for my hunger while waiting for the pizza to cook in the microwave.

Ugh demanded to James “Give me some chocolate breakfast spread while you nuke my pizza into the microwave.”

He gave me “Certainly.” sounded of sarcasm when he spoke his wording.

James did give me the breakfast spread via jar including a spoon. The breakfast spread involved spooning it via a spoon multiple times actually from the bottle. I really wanted to eat something hence I having some spoonfuls of that.

James according to him “Nuked your diet pizza into the microwave.”

It’s my first time I had that diet pizza. It was tasty stuff actually.


“Samantha” According to James said “Hung around me cooking that pizza.”

She permitted to be into the kitchen via cat door.

James has balked allowing me into the kitchen instead had voiced me out by orders of “Out!”

James had that pizza in the microwave. Sam hung around me eating it while I was in the TV’s room eating it. She even stared at me while sitting next to the lounge chair on her haunches. She wound up watching me eating that diet pizza while I was watching TV. Mostly the local news. Ugh.


I didn’t watch much of local news. I watched enough while eating my diet pizza then I went onto the computer to type a blog entry down. Just something to amuse myself out of boredom. I didn’t feel like watching talk shows galore today. Just fed up with that. Plus I was in the mood to type something so I went onto the computer to type my blog entry down.


I figured since its evening I might as well skip the TV and blog into here. Just have something to do to avoid the TV including avoiding stressing myself out worrying about my Tom and his silence of not communicating to me. I found the cell phone’s cloned Tom indicator quit like this clone was dead or implant removed. I’m not sure what’s going on.

I tried to ask the Meritanians “What’s going on with the cloned Tom not registering via cell phone device tracker?” answer but the schizophrenic voice snarled “Too mad bad angry to live.”

Whatever that meant.

I don’t get it that schizophrenic voiced wording till I heard Merra snickering into my mind her familiar laughter tone and realized that this cloned Tom was dumped some place where’s he’s dead. Ugh annoying!


As a result I’ve been journaling insults aimed at the Meritanians despite ignoring the computer mostly been aggravated by writing entries into my journal today. I’ve been trying to write neatly with that journal instead of just slobbering with my handwriting. It’s the pits having to write slowly and neat for people to read my journals when the time comes. It sucks.


Also tempted to give up with that neat handwriting bit and just keep on being a slob with my handwriting. Just not entirely sure of that. I don’t know anyway.


Neighbor banged again. Just wish they would train that mongrel dog of theirs to quit barking every time I’m typing onto the computer. Just use some other training for that dog and its annoying barking. Quit blaming me for that barking by banging onto the ceiling. It’s not polite! It’s rude and tacky and annoying!


Also I’m just typing in paragraphs because my friend Shanna Marie told me “One paragraph is hard for readers to read. Paragraphs make it easier for readers’ to read stories including same with emails I’ve sent people.”

Ugh. Hence I was going into paragraphs into here. I don’t do paragraphs very much with my writings stories. It explains why Veronica Thomas Incorporation has been rejecting Meritanians’ work.

“Too much one paragraph status.” as they claim via email to me as their answer to why’s I asked them “What’s with the rejection out of not avoiding being dumped into the ocean by a Meritanian?”


The editors of the Veronica Thomas Incorporation are terrible when they do that rejecting that result in the Meritanians angry enough to dump them into King Winter’s kingdom where a boat holding genetic experimental Humans weapons picks them up. I know that their leader is some Eric Zesky clone that can scream into people’s minds via shouting voiced tone whenever he’s throwing an angry fit involving the Meritanians’ dumping. It’s annoying.


I tend to do new paragraphs after the character is put down unconscious or falls asleep. Or sometimes a cliffhanger involving a story that’s ending that way. It’s the same for stories that end in cliffhangers.

I do that cliffhanger story thing involving “Tom the Berserker” told my way in my point of view.

I did that for some of the stories like the Lance Richard series involving what my Father or clone of him said. I did that. But no one has bothered to purchase my Lance Richard series so far.


It sucks when I can’t seem to make any money off my writings. It sucks when the public is like wanting my work to be free instead of accepting my work to be purchased. It sucks.


They wanted this free stories status from me because I self published this story “A Stranger’s Fear Edited” and it got over a hundred downloads within a few days.

Ugh. Hence they preferred that free story status from me. It sucks.


Also Lance Richard is some spin off series of the “Tom the Berserker” series.

Mostly this character Jinks Montreal or clone of him acting as my father’s point of view in the Tom’s series involving his life actually.


Jinks Montreal via stories talks about his life becoming a deity god named Lance Richard to me, his daughter Victoria Montreal and my husband Tom Thunder. Victoria is me who is currently a writer named Veronica Thomas who is typing via laptop her father’s story down as he speaks it. He’s originally speaking it in first person but I’m using third person talk involving the story actually. Don’t get it why this story or series isn’t selling much online Shakespir.


Also I managed to convince the public to purchase “Tom the Berserker’s” series all original eight books of it.

I got people purchasing that series multiple times with the second book bought more than I made goals for. It was a victory for me.


Except it’s not much of a victory for me. I haven’t gotten anyone to purchase the additional books of that series I created.

I created two more books of that series titled “Tom’s happily Ever After.”

Part one and part two. Ugh. Those two books in that series involve his original lover Thura reborn into a new body form, me, Victoria Montreal and reuniting with Tom again.


Yana text emailed me “Hi Victoria. You can phone me now.”

Yay! Maybe she’ll have news on Tom despite Merra and Tank habitually broadcast news of Toms onto her..


Wound up on the phone for over an hour with Yana whining “I’ve got a book I’m dying to read. I’m dying to read a book I got on hand and going to bed once done.”

Operator hung up onto our phone call so I wasn’t able to say anything. I tried but nothing happened.


Anyway wound up with a hot flash while on the phone with Yana. I think its cat scratch fever. I think cute baby kitten scratched me yesterday and I didn’t wash it off right away. Hence I sick with it. Ugh.


It explains why I wound up with a cold chill earlier while having Sam on my lap. I think its cat scratch fever. I might have to go take a cold or lukewarm shower if I can’t cool down.


Took a shower lukewarm and cold. It sort of cooled me down. Except the schizophrenia paranoia is attacking me.

The voice is saying “Paranoid feeling! Are you forgetting something?!”

Humph really annoying me too much despite hearing voice via my own mind that isn’t of the Meritanian variety. It’s really annoying. Nothing I can do except just type it down or write it down. Ugh.


I might have to quit the computer as in saving my work via disk if I feel inclined. I’m not entirely sure if I would want to save this journal onto disk. I’m just typing what I feel at the moment.


Mostly prefer to self publish my work online Smashword’s website when I get the chance to get online and put it there. Just prefer another website to post my journaling entries online. Mostly prefer to use themes involving my journaling entries when I get the chance to self publish them online that website including stories of my life via Shakespir.


I figured I might as well save some of those entries I marked onto this blog onto the website. Mostly themed books. Also what I copied onto the computer from my journal I wrote earlier. I figured it can’t hurt to do that. Just prefer to use themes for my blog instead of negative Nancy news.


Anyway I feel much better from the lukewarm cold shower. It helped me cool down. I think Sam clawed my knee via my pants and caused me to be sick. I think next time she claws me I’ll be sure to shower a short shower at night.


Perhaps I’ll do laundry when I have time for it. Mostly in the afternoon after lunch or whenever Yana isn’t coming up. She’s got tomorrow and the rest of the week off from work. It’s her vacation week. Ugh. Well hopefully she’ll recover from her sickness I’m hoping.


I like to see her and have a girl’s day out. Mostly shop for some necessary stuff. Like toothpaste and some toothbrushes. I got five dollars in my wallet I figured I’ll use that for that stuff. I’m beginning to run out of that stuff actually. Besides the teeth are pretty important to me.


I depend on my mouth to help me with my attacks of schizophrenia episodes involving voices talking including paranoia. Mostly taking Sapphris pill as it’s called when I’m suffering from attacks of voice talking to trigger my no privacy feelings of paranoia when’s I’m anxious for bed and trying to sleep. Just a little nervous when the other shoe is going to drop onto me.


I wasn’t able to take some hormone pills while I was hospitalized.

I also wound up told “You’re not to take the extra dosage of Geodon.”

I wasn’t given the extra dosage while at the hospital.


I don’t know if the lack of extra dosage of Geodon is going to wreck me up with my system or not. I don’t know if it’s going to cause my system to protest to that lack of pills taking crap. I don’t know if it’s going to cause me to suffer from an attack of schizophrenia for not taking those pills. I don’t even know when my body will react to that lack of pills anyway. Ugh.


I wound up back onto those pills as a result. I wound up back onto that hormone pill I wasn’t able to take while at the hospital. I wound up back onto that extra dosage of Geodon.


Just don’t know what’s going on with pills or if I should be taking them or not. The hospital left mixed signals. The nurse left mixed signals too.


So I’m back onto those pills and just thinking this fever I’m having is involving drug withdrawal. I think its involving that because I’m still a bit hot. I’m suffering from some hotness. I’m not entirely sure if it’s from my heat on too hot or it’s not that freezing cold outside.


Also not entirely sure if this hotness is from me typing onto the computer too much without a break. Same for the computer phone via laptop when I’m talking to Yana. I had to take a cold shower as a result of feeling hot with sweats. I felt much better after that shower.


Also when I talk to Yana via computer’s typing phone I always get sweats while on the phone. It sucks.


I get sweaty and have to go take a nice shower. I’m grateful it’s not that late for me to take that shower. That’s how late I want to shower. I don’t want to shower late unless it’s for cooling me down. I don’t want to shower early in the morning either. I prefer to shower if I need to do it fast. I don’t want to do a long soap shower. I prefer to do it fast as two minutes or so when I need to cool down from a case of sweatiness.


I do soap showers in the morning. I don’t bother doing it early unless I have Schizophrenic’s Club on Tuesdays. I don’t bother doing showers unless I’m up early enough to consider it. Maybe consider that shower when I’m trying to cool down from waking up sweating.


Also have to quit the computer soon to get into bed. Mostly take my Sapphris pill then after that considers reading something book wise.


I’m not sure if I would consider reading Mia’s book. Just not entirely sure. I might read more of Mia’s book when I get the chance. Mostly if I feel inclined to do that reading.


It depends on my mood when I’m done with this journaling onto the computer. I’m hoping to quit the journaling and go to my bedroom to sit around reading for awhile.


I figured if I want to do more journaling I’ll do it tomorrow when I’m waiting for Yana to make up her mind to phone me or come up. She has tomorrow off actually.


Anyway I’m not entirely sure if she’ll feel ok enough to show up tomorrow. She didn’t complain of feeling poorly to me via phone instead avoided talking that subject via phone. She and I talked about her obsession with Tom’s apartment she kept on being evasive on the subject of the sexual themed involving towards Tom. But she was full talkative on living at that apartment. Ugh including books and other stuff but nothing involving her being sick. Same for me nothing involving me being sick.


Baby cute kitten has gone to the couch to snooze. Cute aw. Love that bundle of fur too much. Love that cutie too much. I love to hold the baby cute kitten galore. She’s really cute about being held too much. She’s really tolerant of being held.


If I get another cat after cute baby kitten I’ll make sure that kitty is tolerant on being picked up and held. Including kissed onto the snout for kisses. Mostly tolerant of being a lap cat and visiting me in bed for sitting and purring their motorboat off. Including tolerant of me and my mental health issues of attacks of schizophrenia that causes me to be sometimes on the computer till I can go sleeping it off. Sometimes I wound up ignoring that the cat needs food and water. Sam did that once and once I slept off the attack woke me up in the morning to demand food and water. Same behavior for ignoring me typing onto the computer and typing onto the laptop phone. She doesn’t disturb me much when I’m typing onto the computer. She ignores me and snoozes. When I’m on the laptop phone is when she’ll pester me for food and water from time to time but other times its ignorance. Sometimes its just rubs against my legs when I’m typing onto the laptop phone but mostly ignorance and not doing much to me.


Running out of things to type. Plus it’s around ten o’clock now. I meant to quit before ten o’clock but I saw cute baby kitten and had to type this lovely comment of love towards that cat down. So I’ll come back in the morning and type if I’m in the mood. Hopefully I should.


Chapter Six

“Anniversary today.” as marked into my calendar.

Well woke up thinking it was Tuesday day of the Club. Didn’t realize today was Saturday. Ugh anyway.


Also today is the anniversary of Sam’s adoption. It’ll be eight years since I first brought her home into here.


I consider the anniversary her birthday officially. She’ll be eleven years old today. Don’t particularly care what the vet says her birthday month is officially. I prefer to celebrate her birthday today when the occasion calls for it. Also I don’t give her anything like a treat for her birthday involving food. I slobber her with hugs and kisses galore. That’s about it.


Well cute baby kitten wound up cuddle bumming me last night into this morning. I think I had REM sleep as a result.


Anyway Sam wound up cuddling me this morning. I woke up and let her sit on top of me as long as she wanted. She got up and rubbed her face onto my nose like marking me with her scent. Then after that she proceeded to do that marking multiple times before she quit and got off of me. Cute!


As for that REM sleep I had a dream involving a house in California I used to live with just my brother Robert himself with his wife and no other family members included in there.


Oh Robert is a cloned copy of Jinks Montreal birthed through a female hence he’s like me and does have to travel around public via wheelchair whenever he visits me in the city. He currently lives in Wethersfield with his current wife a Highlander female who’s helping him raise birthed clones through females for the High Council’s purposes. I suspect that Robert the current one was cloned from the original Robert and similarly birthed through a female via implantation of the cloned copy for the female to carry. I’m not sure who his female carriers are but I suspect she are Highlanders’ females ordered by the High Council to carry Robert via cloning and copies tube status in case of a clone suffers something mortal injured to be put down.


I dreamed of a bedroom that looked twin to my bedroom in Wethersfield house where I suspect a clone of mine was raised by Robert. I’m not entirely sure of what’s the point of that dream. Dreamed of me trying to do some art homework for tests and stuff but didn’t have the proper material to study.

I was whining to whomever via dream “I don’t have anything to study with!”

I didn’t dream of the response to that whining.


I dreamed some eyesight in some library that was appearing to be a college with Robert in a wheelchair seated with a book while a Highlander female was reading another book and glancing at me while I was coloring on some paper with markers like a toddler child. I’m not sure of that toddler child’s behavior of coloring.


Not entirely sure what’s the point of that dream but I suspect it was memories put there by the Meritanians involving my cloned copies being raised by Robert and whoever willing to do that job involving my whining for study materials. Oh well.


Hate it when I mix up days when it’s Saturday involving the anniversary of cute baby kitten. It sure does suck when I do that day mix up. It ruins my sleep as a result and sort of makes me wake up early. I woke up early. I should have slept some more but didn’t. Instead petted the cute baby kitten while she marked my face. Cute.


Running out of things to type including things that are appropriate.


Didn’t read Mia’s book last night. I think I read too much of that the previous night that I was fed up actually.


Anyway wound up writing into my journal a bit after a break of the computer. I didn’t go to sleep right away. Instead I wound up lying in bed staring at the walls and the sliding glass door.


Mostly letting my eyes get used to the dark. I figured if my eyes do that it’ll help me sleep better I’m hoping. Mostly getting used to the dark just to get out the glaring light of the computer or TV out of my eyes. I thought if I did that night staring I would be able to sleep better.


It’s fine for me when I do that but not when I’m suffering from an attack of schizophrenia. I find I have to wait till bedtime when suffering from an attack. I don’t lie down and stare at the walls in the dark when hearing the voice chanting. Instead I read a bit of my computer’s talk or as much as I can stand then after that I lie down and sleep off the attack.


Snatched the baby cat for a hug fest. Mostly wanted to kiss and cuddle her for today’s anniversary. She was tolerant of that hug I threw her in. Mostly gave me kitty kisses onto my nose then got out of my arms. Cute. Love that bundle of fur too much. She’s so cute!


Recalled Thomasine asked me this question “Are you an UHCR servant?”

It’s when I was hospitalized when Thomasine asked me this question via writing. She meant me telling half truths and not fully telling the truth.

The UHCR stands for “United High Council Republic” who are servants known for not telling the whole truth.

The United High Council Republic is nicknamed “United Crap Republic” or “UCR.”

Hence her weird question. Ugh.

My answer was “No not really.”


United High Council Republic is what the group High Council called natives of planet Aire. Instead of calling them Aires their called UHCR servants. Ugh. I used to favor that group including their recordings via what they order people to do till I witnesses them order one Tom clone to do something inappropriate I didn’t appreciate..

They said “You Mindbender will accept Victoria carrying other males’ offsprings.”

I didn’t appreciate that order and preferred to carry only Tom’s babies.

Tom wound up snarling via recording I saw after it took me awhile to view it “Go jump into a lake!”


Haven’t seen one order on DVD in awhile or for years, involving what they ordered Tom to do with one of the offspring I birth or cloned copy birthed.

I’m told “We caught Tom with that offspring in his hand in a choking method. He was transported to the High Council’s throne room and ordered to give up the offspring.”

I suspect that knowing Tom he gave resistance to that order but the High Council must has used words of loyalty recordings he said to them to do that order.


I ought to get back to those DVDs and watch Tom’s orders again involving that subject of Victoria ordered to carry other males’ offspring and seeing if I remember that memory. I also have to see if I remember Tom’s reaction to the offspring a clone birthed.

I’m told “You didn’t birth the offsprings but a cloned copy that was approved by the High Council to carry did that job.” By Barry when I questioned him on that subject.

I said “Who’s the Victoria that carried other males’ offsprings that Tom disagreed with? Was it me? Hence I don’t remember that.”


Mostly see what I could make head or tails of the High Council’s orders towards Tom via recordings. The orders had lots of cliffhangers involving Tom’s reactions or Toms’ reactions not recorded to view. I wound up assuming that Tom’s reaction included lots of foul mouth language uses in it in Human insult languages.

I’m told “Tom used inappropriate language uses in front of the High Council’s orders of Victoria carrying various males’ offsprings. Hence his foul mouth wasn’t saved on recorder but erased for the High Council doesn’t care for languages involving that foul mouths.”

Ugh. I’m not that extreme involving the language uses when’s I’m insulting people just tastefully done actually me saying “Go jump into a lake!”

That wording is copied from Tom’s original form of insulting people something he adopted by the Keos of Uzan their world is referred sister planet to Aire. I suspect Tom’s foul languages was copied by the humans using it in front of him hence he figured out what the words were and said it in front of the High Council. I’m not sure if that language’s uses involved the humans calling him those insulting names and he’s passing it onto the High Council after realizing what the insults meant. I suspect that.


I’ve managed to see my Tom’s acceptable reactions to the orders via TV channel for the High Council to broadcast their propaganda talk.. Once on regular channels with Yana taping it then second via cable TV on a channel for science fiction shows. But the first time it didn’t have any captions. Left me fighting with the people to have captions of the orders. I complained and complained including talking to University’s disabled club for deaf about it.

The people got back to me with an excuse “We have to caption that TV’s orders as in running in once without captions.”

The third time they aired the orders had captions and I saw it galore for the third time. Anyway I think I missed some episodes the third time I saw the series as I call the orders, on TV. I saw too much of the series on TV for the second time.


Well been outside for a short walking around the street. It’s rather sunny outside and should be nice weather for walking around the city. It was somewhat chilly but not that cold actually.

I already text emailed Yana saying “How are you? You are willing to phone?”

I’m just waiting for her response.


Updated my blog online. I wound up including an entry into there.

Mostly included entries of “Where have I been” and “Books read” together.

Internet froze up again when I went to read my blog online. Mostly what I pasted and copied onto there. It sucks when that website keeps on freezing up too much. I just don’t like it when that happens. Hence I was typing my entries onto the word program. Mostly to copy entries into here and pasting them into the blog’s website. It’s when the internet cooperates for me involving that website. Ugh.


Just annoyed at HG for airing this house hunter renovation program. I think their marathoning it till noon. Not entirely sure. I do hope they stop airing that stupid program. I don’t like the series. It drives me crazy having to watch them. Yuck.


Also driving me crazy is Yana or Tom both are balking on texting me as expect. It’s driving me to the computer to whine about this annoyance behavior both are pulling onto me.


Gave up onto the TV and went onto the computer. Ugh. Just don’t particularly care for HG show at the moment. Wound up onto the computer as a result. Just don’t want to leave the TV on and risk aggravating my schizophrenia to chant about an attack. Ugh. I did that once and it started chanting about an attack. Yuck. Managed to shake the attack off by focusing onto the TV as a result. It sucks when that has to happen. Yuck.


Yana text around nine o’clock and I missed that text by two hours. I tried to call her back but she ignored me. I tried to call my dad at his apartment.

Some male said “He’ll be there in an hour call again later.” then rudely hung up.

I hung up. I tried again to call Yana but she still ignored me. Also I tried to call Dalton as I refer dad but his line was busy when I redial twice. Really annoying. Also tried to dial Tom’s cell phone but the call refused to go through. I had to leave a text message to Yana’s landline and to her cell phone too. It sucks when’s I’m talkative and want to badly talk to someone but no ones’ being available despite I don’t care for the blaring Meritanians and their jokes. Ugh.


I’m not happy with the cell phone. It’s not that friendly to me. I’ve missed texts from people because that thing refused to highlight texts on its blank dark screen. Not what I had in mind. I think I’ll complain to dad about how not friendly that cell phone is involving letting me know when there’s a text. Humph.


Sent Dad a text via his number but so far he has played ignorance onto me. He hasn’t bothered to reply to any of my texts I sent him via that number. Also he has ignored me. I’m not even sure if the cell phone is going through with the texts to Dad’s number. Ugh.


I’ve seen the nurse’s cell phone. Its screen highlights texts and messages onto the screen. I don’t get such thing onto my own cell phone at all. It sucks when I’m not getting anything involving that onto my cell phone.


Plus it’s not that friendly for me. I’m not happy with my cell phone at the moment. I don’t particularly care for my service to be like not that friendly to me. I prefer my service involving my cell phone to be better than it is.


Dad replied nice with sarcasm he saying “You should learn to grow up!”

I don’t know what’s he’s babbling about and I wound up deleting that text email out of making me depressed.


Tried to go back onto phone on landline. Operator rude male refused to cooperate. Refused to connect me with anyone. Kept on giving me run around with answering machines and ringing lines. Really rude!


Double Ugh. HG is marathoning this stupid house hunter renovation program all day. I turned the TV on and they were having it on. Only at eleven o’clock is when they showed something else. But that was for an hour. Ugh.


Around noon I wound up ringing Yana’s cell phone. She picked up and had a short fifteen minute chat. She’s working today. Ugh.

Yana whined “I’ve got an odd job of being a lawn care worker that’s keeping me busy doing the yard work for the lawn care jobs for some business involving Tex’s lawn care. I have to whine that some teens hired for the jobs of lawn care are balking on doing anything to the house other than just trying to get money off of it. I’m doing all the work involving sorting and trashing the junk littered on the lawn. This including when I’m doing all the lawn work and no help at all while the teens stand around fiddling via cell phones. Those kids are always on their cell phones taking pictures of themselves including texting to bother to help me with the lawn.”

I wound up saying “Why don’t you film yourself doing the lawn work and those kids doing nothing so you’ll get the money?”

Yana said in response “This figures. Excuse me while I hang up. I have to make some phone calls.”

She hung up rudely and ignored my texting her which voice claimed “Yana’s gone to bed and will talk to you in the morning.”

I didn’t realize that voice I heard involved Merra’s talking voice into my mind telling me about Yana doing her bedtime route and not talking again via phone in answer to my question “What’s going on with Yana?”

Merra commented on the phone call via voice to me “If the teens had their way they’ll have a dumpster to toss out everything till the lawn is bald as a bald eagle. Hah!”

I think she said this comment along the lines and it’s what I can remember.

“Yana knowing her involving second hand books would trash everything into the dumpster instead of throwing it at the Goodwill store in Chinatown.” according to Merra.

She was snickering in response to that commentary.

Humph put me down asleep via voice saying “Nighty night Smarty!”

I woke up this morning and felt like I couldn’t go outside. It’s really annoying when I’m stuck at home amusing myself on a pretty good sunny day.


It’ll mean going out to use the laundry machines when I feel up to it. Also means seeing if I can do one load of laundry involving the washer and dryer. I don’t like doing laundry in the laundry room. It’s such a fuss to haul that suitcase full of clothes to the laundry room.


Plus it’s a rather nice day out. I might just walk around the city or something. I already been outside for garbage duty but that’s about it. Didn’t do much while I was outside. Mostly walked to the dumpster and back into my apartment. Ugh.


Tempted to do laundry today. Maybe I’ll go outside again and make another dumpster run. I still got recycle to toss out including something involving garbage to sort.


If I do laundry it’ll meant making sure that the machines are free for the chore. So I won’t haul my laundry to the laundry’s room only to find machines in use. I prefer to wait till Sunday afternoon instead. Just that it’s when the machines are free for me to use. I don’t like doing laundry on days when the neighbors are free to use the machines. I pretty much prefer to do laundry on days when I know the neighbors are busy with work to bother using the machines.


Also Yana has the following week starting tomorrow off from work from Stop and Shop. Ugh it’s her vacation week actually but she’s still working another side job as a lawn care worker for Tex’s lawn care business.


I’ve asked the town library via phone for some books by Shanna Marie. Mostly two books involving her Assassin Trilogy by Shanna Marie. She’s getting popular via her writings so far that I haven’t seen her handing autographed books to people to buy underneath the evil eye of the cashier. Instead I’ve seen her sitting in the corner typing via laptop computer rapid fired paced like she’s thinking of a story to publish.


I’m currently in progress of reading book one which is “Assassin Lord.”

I’m just trying to find the motivation to read that book. Ugh. It’s a really good book so far from what I’m reading involving it. I only have around two hundred pages left to go then I’ll be done. Ugh.


I asked town library for books two and three in the Shanna Marie’s Assassin trilogy. It seems she’s plagiarizing the Meritanians with their talks to make her own stories hence she’s popularity received. I’m not sure of why’s the Meritanians agreed to Shanna Marie to sell their stories as underneath her name. Oh well.


I thought the first book might end in a cliffhanger but I don’t know. I think some science fiction novels end in cliffhangers to make people want to read the next book in the series. Sort of what I would do involving my own writings. I would make my own writings involving science fiction and a series end in cliffhangers. Mostly to drive up interests into getting the reader to read more of that series actually.

Hence I did that with “Tom the Berserker” series including “Lance Richard” series. Same with some of my series I have going at the moment. Made them end in cliffhangers.


Town library didn’t have book two and three in the trilogy but they had other books by the author. Ugh. Well that’s nice. Anyway I had to ask for an inter library loan. Ugh.


Perhaps I’ll start pestering McCarty to drive me to Connecticut’s local graveyard town of Winstead’s town library for books. It’ll mean asking them for books I could have gotten from there instead of NYC’s town library. The town library in NYC’s Chinatown isn’t that big their on the small size. The library books I ask they don’t usually have them. Hence they have to inter library loan lots of books for me to read. Ugh.


Drives me crazy when NYC’s Chinatown town library doesn’t have the books I want. I have to depend on them inter library loan books including waiting forever for books to arrive to them. I have to repeatedly wait too long for books I’m in the mood to read. But when I get the book I find my mood is gone. This is terrible.


Also drives me crazy is this HG channel’s TV series makes the voice chant “Love it! List it!”

I hate that TV series. It drives me crazy when the schizophrenia chants the answer to that TV show contest even if it’s a rerun when I first watch the first five minutes of that TV show.

I have to put up with that chanting of “List it! Love it!” over and over during the whole episode of that TV series.

It’s really annoying me too much. Hence I don’t like that series very much. It’s annoying hearing the chanting over and over in my mind. Yuck.


I’m just trying to see what I can eat food wise without aggravating my system to give me attacks of schizophrenia. So I figured I should write down what I eat from time to time. Maybe see if something I ate is disagreeing with me and my body to give me attacks of schizophrenia.


I have been lucky to avoid that attack of schizophrenia today. I don’t think I’ll be walking further than my home. I figured if I want to go outside I’ll walk to the laundry room and see if the machines are free for me to do laundry.


Maybe I’ll wait till tomorrow afternoon to bother doing that chore. Ugh. It’s when the machines are habitually free for me to do laundry. I think the neighbors are using today to do laundry. So Sundays I would do laundry then.


Perhaps on Monday I would do laundry. I still got some clothes left to wear before I go to the laundry room to wash them. I got some sweats of top and pants left for me to wear. It’s left over from laundry two weeks ago.


Just wondering how long I aim to leave the TV on running while I’m on the computer. Also wondering how long I aim to be onto the computer typing this blog entry down. Ugh. Plus wondering when I’ll focus onto the TV for awhile. Mostly focusing onto writing into my journal instead of just blogging into here with the TV on.


Baby cute kitten got snatched up for a hug and kisses. She was on her bed when I snatched her up for a hug fest. Cute. She did tolerate the hug but demanded to be put down. So I put her royal cuteness down onto her bed. She’s probably still there snoozing again. Ugh. Well that’s fine with me as long as she’s not pestering me for attention while I’m on the computer typing this blog down.


Sam’s food bowl was empty earlier so I refilled it. Junior wound up using another bowl for Sam’s water while I was hospitalized. The water bowl is much better for cute baby kitten. It’s bigger and deeper for her to lick. Not entirely sure if she can really reach into that bowl to lick when the water gets low. Ugh might drive her crazy with her poor whiskers. Poor kitty.


Just have to scan my journal for entries worth sharing online. I already did that today with yesterday’s two entries involving I hospitalized and books I’ve read while there. I thought those entries would be good to share publicity. Problem is when I went to go online to do that copy and paste thing the internet crashed and balked doing anything for me. Ugh..


I’m not entirely sure if I would want to share every single entry I type onto the computer with public readers. I figured if I make an entry about a theme involving books or something I would be willing to share that with public.


Those entries I planned to share were pretty good themed on books. I’m just trying to avoid being negative Nancy onto my journal online website and public. I’m just trying to be more themed and positive instead. More themed involving something else instead of whining of me being sick with an attack of schizophrenia. Not sure about that.


Also the internet wasn’t being reliable when it comes to trying to get online website. It kept on crashing over and over. So I’ve been using the word program to type my blog entries down.


I don’t have to tie up the phone line when I do that. Or worry about the internet crashing midway when I’m doing this. I don’t have to worry about restarting my entry over again because of being busy. Including busy doing stuff that requires my attention. Or the internet crashing when I’m trying to type an entry and save it for posting.


I simply use the word program and type my heart’s content out. Just have to save my work before I abandon the computer for phoning or TV.


The computer has repeatedly shut itself down midway during my typing over and over. I find some of my typing work hasn’t been saved during the shutdown rudeness by the computer. Hence I having to retype everything I typed down again.


The computer did this shutdown bit onto me when typing a book involving “Memories of Victoria” my journaling entries online Shakespir for publications to be read.

I had to restart the computer and try to get back to my computer’s story. The shutdown didn’t save my work. I had to rename that file holding my story including typing what wasn’t saved. It was terrible when that has to happen. Hence I hate this computer and its annoying attempts to shut itself down. It’s rather annoying.


I don’t bother shutting down the computer when I’m done with it. I leave it on with the monitor off.


I find the computer shuts itself down when I’m not using it for hours. The computer does that shut down bit onto me. I just don’t care for that to happen to me or the computer. I prefer the computer to remain on and allow me to manually shut it down when it needs to be shut down. Ugh.


HG is airing a new episode I haven’t seen before. I’m not entirely sure if it’s a rerun of Monday’s original episode aired earlier this week. Or another previously runs episode that aired and their just rerunning it again.


The series “Love it! List it!” sometimes is interesting to watch but after awhile it gets boring. Mostly boring with all that whining the homeowners does for houses not perfect to their standards when house hunting including designing improvements to their original house. It sucks when that has to happen. Hence I get put off from the TV series and bored to tears. I’m stuck typing onto the computer as a result when I’m bored to tears of the TV.


Weekends are when sports are airing onto TV regular channels.


I highly doubt that there’s figure skating airing at this time of year of summertime. Figure skating is a winter sport involving pairs between Highlanders a male and female dancing together on the ice and nothing involving singles for males or females or anything involving Humans. I think that sport was originally for Humans but the High Council must have kicked the First Ones out of that sport hence there’s hardly any humans willing to do that sport. It’s reserved for Highlanders. I think the sport run for three lunar months involving competitions and then take a lunar month break to do the TUG games’ portion of the figure skating sport. I’m not sure of what’s the High Council’s opinion involving Highlanders only doing that sport. Seems to be something involving pleasing King Winter me suspects.

Gymnastics or acrobats is a summer sport and is indoors. That sport runs all year including on TV from time to time, in the summer time sometimes airs the nationals for the Americanians on TV. Sometimes they air the world championships including the Americanians’ competition including TUGs. I suspect that sporting event involves the High Council trying to get people to do acrobatic assassinations training. Ugh.


I’ve noticed that TV is beginning to become internet based. Mostly like the HG channel keeps on airing promos for websites to check online for more viewing of videos and stuff involving TV series they air.

They did such a promo during “Love it! List it!”


Ugh wouldn’t be surprised if my cable bill for TV goes up as TV gets online the internet for people to view. Mostly view via cell phones or via computer tablets. Ugh.


Just the pits I guess when I wouldn’t be surprised if my TV cable gets cut off by the cable company who insists on me to use the internet to view TV shows. Or they raise the prices of the TV’s cable for TV shows. Ugh.


Yana is lucky she views TV via her computer and cell phone. I don’t do that very much. I tend to view TV via a regular flat screened TV instead.


I tried the computer but those videos online aren’t captioned for me to get it what’s going on without the sound.

I tried the sound once the neighbor rang the doorbell to say to me “I’m whining of your loud noises so tone it down!”

I swear that damn mongrel dog of the neighbor barked in response to me using the sound. Also the schizophrenic voice makes it hard for me to tell the difference from the sounding voices onto the TV and what’s I’m hearing via ears. Hence I’m frustrated with the internet service not being friendly for people with hearing problems to read the wordings of what’s said. I prefer the TV because it’s got captions for me to understand what’s said. It’s friendly for me to watch and go along with the story on TV involving talk shows.


Just hoping that the HG channel would stop airing “Love it! List it!” TV series.

I’m sick of that TV show. I could have watched the local news via channel including world news but the schizophrenic voice was acting up triggering my paranoia a bit to be creep out watching the TV. I found that the HG channel helps me relax from the creepiness of the voice.


Just hope that the HG channel is airing “Canada Brothers” instead of their crummy TV show “Love it. List it.”

I’m fed up with “Love it. List it.”

Plus I have to stay onto the computer fooling around is when “Canada Brothers” comes onto the HG channel.

I think “Love it. List it.” is going to be airing till an early evening hour.


Just hope that “Canada Brothers” on TV isn’t showing that god awful rerun I hate. I hate that episode and just don’t want to see it again. That episode involves the brothers decorating a house for a couple who’s doesn’t seem to understand the term budget for house decorating. Hence the couple kept on throwing the contractor brother items to improve the house and making the budget balloon up and making his job longer. Ugh.


Can’t wait till internet shows captions to their videos for the people with hearing problems to follow along. I don’t particularly care to view sign language videos without captions.


I’m not fluent in sign language very much. I tried to learn American Sign Language. It’s like the French language with some words taken out. I sign Exact English in sign language without any words taken out. I even insist on people to sign that to me. I have trouble with American Sign Language because I’m not fluent in it to get it what the person is babbling about.


I just don’t like viewing sign language via videos or anything like that unless I can read the captions. I need people to move their mouths forming words when they sign their hand’s language. Lip reading helps me get it what their saying including cues from their signs too. I use both sign language and lip reading cues to get it what a person is saying to me despite the schizophrenia voice has gotten really loud lately that I could barely pay attention to the conversation among me.


I’m not a whiz when it comes to lip reading alone. I tried multiple times but I have trouble lip reading people not using sign language. I find that Jinks Montreal’s title holders are whizzes when’s it comes to lip reading. I’m jealous of that ability because that they remember a mother raiser who was deaf that taught them to lip read. Also taught the Jinks Montreal’s clones to use sign language something I’m trying to be fluent in so I’ll talk to the Highlanders instead of mental mind talking.

Some of those Highlanders when I’m talking to them mentally mind talk have gotten to the point of yelling at me via voice blaring into my head despite thinking “Your insulting me with your talk.”

They yelling “I’m not insulting you!”

Turns out to be the schizophrenic voice making me think their talking to me hence I assuming that insulting talk as their talk like the voice saying “What a piglet you are involving the food you eat. Piglet..” Including “What’s with the clothes your wearing? You look terribly fat like a piglet.”

The Highlanders after they yell walk away and ignore me tapping them onto the shoulder and trying to get their attention.


Jane has noticed this behavior and has been teaching me to lip read including some greeting signs.This lip reading when I’m forced to do it to Jane. I don’t normally understand a word she says all the time when she forces me to lip read her.


The Highlanders when I point at their lips for talking sometimes gets annoyed and angry when I don’t get it their talk immediately. They sometimes gets blows up of temper tantrums as a result and wound up fisting fists at me and walking away when they does that and ignore me. Humph.


I recalled me at the hospital having a writing conversation via paper pad instead of talking via voice to each other with Thomasine after another millionth trip to the hospital for a medicine adjustment for the schizophrenic voice. The medicines had to be adjusted via dosages increased to the point the voice quit bothering me and acted like background noises instead of white noise sounding too loud for me.

“You’re too loud with your voice!” according to Thomasine.

So we had a written conversation via paper pad instead. Mostly shared the contents with the nurses’ and doctors’ for questions Thomasine seemed to know what Tom wanted answered.


Didn’t really keep the paper pad’s written works. I only kept one piece of paper and that was it. That piece of paper was me doodling during a group meeting. I wound up drawing pictures during a group meeting when I didn’t get a word understood among the group’s members. Their Highlanders doing mental mind talk I wasn’t sure of what I was hearing via mind. So I doodled onto the pad as a result. Mostly drew pictures of cats including of a cat’s face.


I didn’t seem to like having Yana in my presence when I was hospitalized. I didn’t like having Yana there. I wasn’t pleased seeing her there. I just wasn’t. I didn’t want to hug her very much at all. I didn’t want to hang around her at all. I couldn’t wait for her to leave. She only visited me once during the day when Junior didn’t visit me.


Junior visited me multiple times and I was glad to see him. I preferred to receive visits from Junior and have him hang around me when I’m hospitalized.


I just preferred to have Tom in my life than having my mom. Tom doesn’t stress me out too much like Mom is doing to me. Mom is annoying me too much. Tom doesn’t play games onto me or make me stressed worrying about him. I just don’t particularly care to worry about my mom too much enough to get stressed out when she won’t respond to my personal visits of talking to her. I’m sick of worrying about my mom and her lack of communications something I worried about before she was either humanly put down asleep or her body broke down enough for her to die.

“Suicide” said the voice who added “She killed herself.”

I’m not entirely sure what the voice is babbling about despite yelling at Merra “Merra how did my mom die?!”

Merra wound up speaking “Sticky Vicky I’ll transport you someone in response.”

That someone was Tom my Tom with a naked form with wires of needles stuck into his form and he appearing to look wet all over. I was shocked when I saw him that I wound up grabbing him into a hug and kissing him onto the lips. Tom wound up kissing me back in response then I found the Falcons grabbing us both and removing our lip lock to found us both in the High Council’s throne room.

Speakers speaking “Meritanians what joke did you play this time?!”

Merra wound up snickering into my mind and speaking “Nothing involving Sticky Vicky missing her Momsy and demanding her Momsy back.”

I discovered that Merra said her words via sarcasm despite the High Council in response spoke “Transport Victoria to be whipped!”


I wound up whipped onto the back with my shirt adjusted to bare my back multiple times via electronic whip. I think at the twentieth whipping I screamed of pain and got dumped into King Winter’s Kingdom. I wound up thrashing among the ice bergs in response to Merra’s joke playing onto me. King Winter wound up getting me out of the water into a choke hold onto my neck. I couldn’t get out of his choke hold using karate from him mind scanning me. He seemed to have Highlander’s facial appearance and ears of one pointed. Ugh.

King Winter blasted into my mind “Your Mother committed suicide by stealing a knife and cutting her wrists which she bled to death too late to be found!”

I spoke in response “Why didn’t the hospital save her if they noticed the knife missing?”

King Winter blasted “She was acting like she was telling the hospital what they wanted to hear from her involving her healing from her mental illnesses problems when’s it was an act to commit suicide!”

I opened my mouth to talk only to get King Winter blaring “Enough of the questions! Meritanians transport this victim out to back to where’s she’s belongs now!”


I wound up transported to Jinks’ Victoria’s bedroom and put down asleep onto the bed by the Meritanians’ commentary of “Nighty night Smarty!”

Really! Really annoying!


I woke up the next day by James or Jinks’ cloned butler James ringing the alarm clock. It seems I’ve inherited Jinks’ sleeping like sleeping beauty only woken up by a ringing noise of an alarm clock including a landline phone. Ugh. James wound up giving me the familiar confess your crime look.

I spoke with sarcasm “Just get me back to my residence.”

James obeyed with compelling me transported to Jinks’ pool room dumped into the pool followed by transported out again dumped into my bedroom fully onto my bed wet all over. I wound up forced to shower in my private bathroom to wash off the pool’s stink and get my clothes exchanged. I think James wasn’t expecting to find me sleeping in Victoria’s room hence his glare I suspect.


Humph so I’m stuck ranting this joke status onto the computer because I’m fed up with the TV. I wanted to do internet rants but I don’t trust the internet to crash like it did earlier today. I had to use this computer program to rant my rants. Just don’t like having to do that onto the computer.


I’m stuck trying to get my typing urges done onto the computer out of trying to get something to be typed down. I’m stuck doing this typing of my thoughts down.


I wanted to type stories instead. Problem is I wasn’t in the mood to bother doing that story typing. When all I can do involving my typing urges is type my thoughts down out of trying to avoid being stressed out. I find that writing doesn’t help occasionally because all I do is ranting this and that into my journals. I figured if I’m home and the computer is available I’ll use it to rant my problems while getting my typing urges done.


Just a little annoyed with things going with my mom as told what really happened to her.


Not entirely sure if I should include fragmented sentences into my journal or not. The word program highlights fragments. But I don’t know if I should fix them or just ignore them. I used to be picky onto fragment sentences into my stories. If I got a fragment in my stories I would fix them so they wouldn’t indicate fragments. But now I stopped doing that and have been ignoring the pointing out. Don’t know if I should ignore that pointing out in my blog in here. I figured it can’t hurt to do that ignoring because those fragments are a part of my thinking thought processes. Ugh.


Gave up onto the TV at six been onto the computer since that time. Skipped the local news and world news. Sick and tired of the TV series that HG is airing on TV. Don’t want to find out if there’s sports preempting local and world news. Hence I didn’t bother to watch them. I went onto the computer to type this down instead.


Been tempted to talk about something else than the crap the Meritanians’ jokes are playing involving me I’m ranting about. Mostly about my love of soccer involving memories of that sport as a goalkeeper. Ugh.


Schizophrenia is attacking me again.

Mostly chanting “Paranoid feeling!”

Jeez can’t I get a break from the noise in my head?! Ugh!


The chanting is beginning to cut my mood to type onto the computer. I’m not entirely sure if it’s related to the evening hour arriving or not. Not entirely sure. I don’t even know if it’s related to me spending too much time onto the computer.


I know that I was off my second morning hormone pills when I was hospitalized. I also was off my second dosage of Geodon when I was hospitalized. I think this lack of pills is catching up with me. Mostly causing the voice to chant or something. Either that or I’m really sick with something. Not entirely sure isn’t showing up on my blood test or anything like that. I keep on thinking that some illness would show up onto my blood test. It must be something like allergies or sinuses that are causing the voice to chant. I haven’t really opened the window since I’ve gotten home. Ugh. I also had a case of sweats earlier today. Now I’m just cold. Slightly cold at the moment.


Might be tired or something. Not entirely sure why the voice is attacking me at the moment. Just going to remain onto the computer typing about this attack.


Just something to cheer me up from being depressed with Tom’s lack of response all day to my pleas to a text email in answer to this question “What’s going on with you?”

Whenever I send Tom text emails insult I laugh after I send him one saying “Go jump in the lake Tom for not responding as soon as possible!”

I find this funny but Tom doesn’t find it funny via text email scolding me “This isn’t funny for you to use that insult so think of something else to express your displeasure.”

I have no idea how Tom figures out that I’m laughing after I sent that insult.

He always said via text email after I send a message saying “Tom I love you lots!” He says “You’re to apologize!” on the phone with him via texting option.

Ugh really annoying when I’m forced to say “Sorry Tom!”

I tried to say “Sorry Tommy boy!” once.

Tom text emailed me in response “I found the name Tommy boy insulting so don’t ever say it to me again.”

I figured right then and there that the High Council have been using that ‘Tommy Boy” name as an insult towards Tom.

I wound up saying “Love you Tom.”

He’ll either respond with “Love you Victoria.” or “Goodnight, don’t disturb me for the night.”

That don’t disturb message meant he’s doing a job for the High Council at night. Ugh.


Cute baby kitten has gone to the couch to sit and snooze. I spotted the baby cat grooming herself while seated on the couch. She seems to like sitting onto the couch for snoozing and grooming. Cute. I can’t help it when I see her on the couch. I snatch her up for slathering hugs and kisses galore. She’s rather cute and tolerant being held. I love that involving a cat. Tolerant being picked up and held. Something I’m going to insist onto the next cat I adopt when Sam joins the rainbow bridge.


Tyger and Willow the cats I remembered as a child’s Victoria living with hated being picked up and held. Ugh. Hence Tyger avoided Victoria whenever she was in her laughing moods. Willow just snaps her mouth onto Victoria when she pets her when she’s sitting down.

She’s like “Don’t pet me or I’ll bite.”

Willow sometimes tolerates Victoria petting her when she’s walking around the apartment and seemed to favor the Jinks at the time like he’s her human and from memories is always seated onto his lap. More likely Willow always tummy sitting onto his chest and Jinks looking like a fat man with fur onto his front.Ugh.


Bogart another of Dalton’s current cats doesn’t show up for me to see him. He spends time hiding underneath Dalton’s bed according to Dalton who said “He’s mostly half feral and doesn’t trust anybody except me hence he’s always hiding underneath my bed.”

Ugh. I don’t get it that cat very much. Just don’t.


Tigger another cat of Dalton’s cats is Mister Social. He loves to have his head rubbed by me petting him. He’s really friendly when I visit Dalton there. Tigger is rather cute for a cat but not that interested into being picked up. I tried that once but he wasn’t keen on it. Also put him onto my lap when I was sitting onto a chair. He accepted that placement and was friendly with me petting him while standing onto my lap. Tigger seemed friendly with me and visitors. Cute.


I’m in a talkative mood and there’s no one available to talk to me. Just not happy about that lack of able to have someone to talk to when I need them to be available. It sucks


I’m stuck amusing myself onto the computer typing this down out of trying to have something to do and too depressed to bother to watch TV. I could have rung up that helpful crisis line but I’m not sure if they’ll help me. I called them once while suffering from an attack of schizophrenia. They didn’t help me at all. I wound up hospitalized as a result.

Chapter Seven

The internet isn’t working for me to do anything with it this morning. I woke up with the mood to type something despite the familiar commentary by the schizophrenic voice involving typing a story. I wound up online as a result thinking of typing onto my journal via website. The internet crashed again so I went elsewhere.


I tried to get online my bank account to see how much money I have left. The internet refused to let me sign in to type my password. Instead crashed and froze up too. The internet isn’t doing anything for me. I’m not happy at all. I wanted to know how much money I have left in my bank account. Now thanks to the internet’s balking I have to go to the bank in town and find out via machine.


Text emailed Yana “You up for a phone call?” who ignored me.

She must be sleeping or something. Now I have to wait forever for her to text email me. Ugh.


I have to text email McCarty “Are you free to drive me? I need food into my kitchen.”

I’m out of some foods I have in the kitchen. I don’t have much to eat. I don’t want to eat some of that food I’ve got left that’s considered health nut food. I just don’t.


I have to figure out via the grocery store of what foods to buy that are healthy and won’t expire in a few days. I’m stuck with trying to get food that is healthy. I have ideas of buying food but I’m not entirely sure if I would go through with that. I have to wait and see when I go to the grocery store. Ugh.


I tried to lie in bed last night with the lights off. Problem was someone a neighbor had their porch light on that blared into my apartment and kept my eyes to the lights. So I had to sleep right away as a result wearing an eye wear mask.


Baby cute kitten wound up visiting me in my sleep. She even got onto my front this morning. She got onto my front after I woke up and marked my face and eye wear mask with her side of her face. She even gave me licks onto my nose too. She’s rather cute when she does that. I wound up petting her royal cuteness galore till she walked off. I haven’t really held her this morning or yet. I have to wait till she agrees to that holding is when she’ll stay and let me hug her.


Just depressed today just woke up late for me. Stayed up till like ten thirty then went to bed. I stayed awake till like twenty minutes to eleven o’clock is when I crashed. I woke up late this morning. About ten minutes past eight o’clock.


I didn’t take my pills till after eight thirty mostly because I showered first then took them. Breakfast wasn’t much. Just something to fill the tummy because I don’t like taking those pills onto an empty stomach. One has a side effect of making me feeling like throwing up. So I don’t like empty stomach taking those pills. It sucks.


Text emailed McCarty to take me out grocery shopping. Mostly too early for that texting but I don’t know his morning routing hours. But I figured it can’t hurt to do that text emailing early. Just want to grocery shop for some food. Mostly get what I can get from stop and shop. Ugh.


The sun isn’t out at the moment. It’s down right cloudy outside. The lack of sun is not doing much for my mood. Instead the sun’s lack of appearance is making me sad and depressed. Ugh I’m depressed and sad today.


Also depressing me is the internet is refusing to work for me to do anything online when that has to happen. Just annoyed with the internet that keeps on crashing and freezing up whenever I’m online trying to do something.


Ugh. Yana text emailed me while I was online chatting with Jane via computer. I had to go to the phone to talk to Yana while I continued chat with Jane via cell phone. I talked to Yana.

She claims “I’ll come down first to Tom’s former apartment to drag the neighbor a Victoria Montreal clone out to your place to bring us to lunch and an outing.”

I whined “I wanted to grocery shop and that I threw out food that expired and food I wasn’t eating.”

Yana wasn’t helpful but said via phone “I’ll let you know of the outing with the clone calling herself Vikat. It’s about time you met your clones and be friendly with them.”

I didn’t comment a response for Yana rudely hung up according to the operator typing the stop keying symbol then hung up our call. Really annoying!


Humph already text emailed McCarty “I wanted grocery shopping so give me a time for driving.”

I think I was rude with my text email something he didn’t reply as soon as possible.

McCarty gave me “Maybe.” as his response then added “don’t you have an outing with Yana today?’

I wound up saying via text email “Yana via phone confirms she plans to come see me with a clone named Vikat. Weird name.”

McCarty said “Just have Yana wheel you to grocery store. I’m busy today goodbye.”

With that commentary he ignored me texting him “What are you doing today?”

He balked replying ASAP in response. Ugh.


I told Yana about needing food via phone soon after Yana text emailed me another phone request.

I said “I needed food and needs to grocery shop.”

Yana spoke “I agreed to come up and see you including taking driving you out grocery shopping at stop and shop.”

Yana got her drivers’ license and is currently driving an old white car I call an egg beater that beats eggs like a clunker. I’m just not entirely sure of why’s Yana was allowed to get her drivers’ license and drive despite the High Council balking on letting me drive hence the use of McCarty my hired driver.

Ugh High Council via speakers said in unison “You Victoria is not to drive vehicles period and that’s an order we expect you to obey!” when I went to the High Council’s throne room whining “Why’s I have a hired driver instead of driving myself?”


It was Tank that provided the answer later that said “Your Mother was observed driving erratically while in towns of Connecticut. One of those cops pulled her over as the saying goes and discovered she was writing down her mental illnesses’ problems via small notebook and even doing it while driving.

Something the cop managed to tell her husband later ‘Natasha isn’t to drive!’

She wound up ticketed as a result and then she was witnessed resuming that erratic driving that the cop had to pull her over and bring her via his car to the precinct for her safety. Hence her husband called and told to come pick her up and told that comment of her not to drive. The High Council backed that talk up by insisting her husband view recordings of your mother driving while writing into a small notebook which he agreed with the no drive order. Your mother kept up that small notebook writing habit mostly writing whenever the voices she had bothered her and kept it up despite a passenger in a car with whoever driving her.”

After that talk Tank became silent.

I figured to myself “I’m not using a small notebook to write down schizophrenic voice’s attacks but I’m typing them.”


As for groceries I need fruit and vegetables to eat. I figured I’ll rope Yana into helping me buy some of that stuff around the grocery store. I can’t seem to figure out where they put that stuff while I’m there. I can find fruits to buy but veggies? Nope can’t seem to find them that are good quality. Ugh hence I’m sure that Yana who works in a grocery store as a cashier can point them out to me.


I went back online to continue chatting with Jane.

Jane told me “You should be having Gramma’s chair altered via sewing alterations including new fabric.”

Madisoni I call my mother’s husband before he disappeared off the ocean wrote a will willing me an old rocking chair that’s older than I am that used to belong to my mother’s mother aka Gramma I never met. Jane’s already seen pictures of that thing.

Jane told me “Why don’t you to use that chair as your TV’s chair when you sit and lounge around with the TV?”

I figured use of Gramma’s chair will help me save money that way except I might have to pay for alterations of the chair. It’ll help me save money for it. Oh well.


Plus use the money saved so far for Sam’s vet bill when its time for her vet appointment. She’s due to receive shots. Poor kitty isn’t going to be happy about that. Also I don’t want to depend onto dad to pay for the vet bill. I prefer to pay for it myself.


I managed to text email McCarty “Talked to Yana on phone. She wants to come up and see me. Grocery shopping will wait another day. Plan to bug Yana to do groceries.”

McCarty text emailed me in response “Ok Tuesday is when’s I’m free for an outing to drive you around.”


Well hopefully Yana is willing to do groceries when she shows up today. I like to get more food anyway. I’m practically out of some foods in my kitchen including don’t have much left for me to eat. Ugh.


Snatched the baby cute kitten for a hug fest. She kitty kissed me in response. Mostly licking my face and allowing me to snuggle. Cute.


Jane complained via email when I went to check my email via computer “I couldn’t wait for the semester to be over. Mostly so I can hang out with my friends like you. I hate the stresses the classes and Highlanders are making it involving my communications specialist job is.”

Poor Jane. I can’t wait for the spring semester to be over so I can have outings with Jane again. I miss having lunches with Jane including shopping outings too. She’s been really busy with the college at work doing her job, teaching students and doing lots of tutoring. Ugh. Also I miss having outings with Jane including lunches with her. I miss being social with Jane. She’s been really busy lately. I think with final exams coming up she’ll be really busier tutoring students and prepping them for exams.


Jane ended chat because she said “My husband woke up and wants breakfast.”

Her husband sleeps later than I do. He seems to sleep most of the morning while I don’t. I wake up early in the morning via sunlight blaring enough to get up and take my pills. Anyway Jane is married to a hybrid Highlander Human dubbed Elf for one person and elves for more than one person. I’m not sure if that husband of hers is telepathic or not. There are cases of hybrids being telepathic but I don’t know of Jane’s husband. I never asked and I doubt I would.


Sometimes I wake up via the cutest cat snuggling me and demanding attention from me. Cutest cat ever is so cute to wake up to in the morning. Makes me smile and be happy when I get to wake up to the baby cute kitten. She’s really cute when she’s friendly in the morning. I love that bundle of fur too much. I love it when she rubs her face marks my nose too with her furry face including giving me licks. Cute, I love that bundle of fur too much. She’s so cute!


I wound up impatient for Yana to arrive.

Text emailed her, a message to her cell phone whining “What’s the progress of your arrival through the city?”

City traffic is notorious for being slow and crowded like nuts. She ignored me and refused to reply hence I’m assuming she’s driving and obeying the law involving not to text when’s driving. That texting while driving is a bad habit among First Ones despite Highlanders don’t bother doing that but talking to others while in the vehicle via mental mind talk is something their doing that causes them to be distracted. Ugh.

I know this because Merra has whined to me multiple times “Stinking Highlanders are distractedly driving while chatting mentally. It’s enough to cause an accident. What an idiot their being!”

I guess whenever Merra talks to me I either don’t respond or I type that down.


Also the voice reared its ugly head saying “Plants are so stupid.”

The voice chanted this commentary till Merra was sensed mind scanning me then I found myself dumped into the ocean in King Winter’s kingdom. Ugh damn Meritanians for their moods!


Ugh anyway King Winter managed to get me out of the water to blast commentary into my head despite I distracted by how freezing I was and the schizophrenic voice blaring “Plants are so stupid!”

I’m not so sure I know what King Winter was blaring at me despite hearing multiple garbled voices into my head. Ugh. I wound up transported to my residence and showered then waited for Yana’s arrival.


Wound up calling Madisoni’s Father’s house my Grampa who’s not alive anymore. I still haven’t met him. My cousin his niece of his sister’s daughter picked up the phone. I thought it was her mother at first. Turns out she was out in the car in the parking lot. Yana arrived letting herself into my apartment via her own key instead of ringing the doorbell and letting James handle her. She wound up entering the TV room as I was talking with cousin via phone.

Yana tapped me onto the shoulder scaring me to yell “Ooh!”

Voice chanted “Get off the phone!”

I had to cut the phone call short using the excuse “Excuse me cousin I’m planning on taking a walk. I have to hang up.”

She agreed to that and hung up by saying “Respects to your day.”


Yana wound up introducing me to Vikat as she calls herself a clone of me that appeared to have a cat’s look on her face that was driving her own car. She was driving another clunker and appeared to be driving slowly despite noticing drivers behind her waving fists and appearing to be in a hurry. Ugh we went to Cristy’s in a small town out of the city to eat a late lunch. I ordered French toast I had chocolate milk to drink that’s considered a Drainers’ drink despite ordering it. The waitress an older lady gave me a weird look when I ordered the Drainers’ drink.

She asked me “Do you want blood?”

I realized what she meant by the cocoa talk to say “No I like cocoa by the taste and don’t need blood.”

I doubt that waitress believed me for she kept giving me funny weird looks like I was doing something wrong each time she went to our table. Ugh rude.


I wound up with my schizophrenia attacking me while I was there at the restaurant. Wound up reading my bible trying to will myself from anxiety. I was anxious for the food to arrive. Plus anxious involving the people in the restaurant including Vikat sitting next to me in the booth that kept on giving off a vibration that seemed like a cat’s purring. She was making me nervous.


The food arrived and I ate fine but I made a mess of the maple syrup. Had to go use the bathroom to wash my hands. Then after that went back to wait for Yana and Vikat to finish eating. Yana ordered some breakfast food but Vikat order meat that appeared to be spooned via spoon from a can. This makes me think Vikat is part cat literally. Ugh.


After eating we went to Lourdes an outdoor church shrine for prayers. Mostly Vikat who seemed religious prayed while I didn’t do much praying. Instead I would up with the schizophrenia attacking me with words of paranoia and that familiar question involving forgetting something.

“Paranoid feeling. Are you forgetting something?” chanted the voice.

It got my paranoia aggravated that I couldn’t relax while I was at that outdoor church. Instead I was mostly clearing my throat towards Vikat to hurry up. She ignored me and kept onto her prayers. Ugh how annoying when my paranoia was off the charts and making me feel unsafe. Lucky me I had my bible via purse and I read that ignoring Yana felt pushing my wheelchair around.


After Lourdes I wound up reading my Bible in the car ride to the grocery store where I got groceries. I managed to shake off the paranoia but the voice was still chanting away in my mind. I bought mostly health food and hardly any chocolate or ice cream. I figured if I want chocolate I’ll walk to the pharmacy’s candy store tomorrow and buy some then walk home. Also if I want ice cream I’ll walk to Creamsickle and buy some then walk the food off to home.


Plus the grocery store was out of that chocolate milk I favored. I didn’t feel like buying another brand of chocolate milk. Instead I bought milk that is some kind of special milk. Mostly something I thought would do for my system. Ugh.


After that the food buying I went to the car before Vikat arrived. Yana stayed in the car sleeping a nap. I wound up putting my food into the car in the back seat. I wound up sitting around waiting for Vikat to arrive that arrived with her groceries. She put her groceries into the trunk.


Then Vikat drove me home with Yana in the car appearing to be giving me nasty looks. I wasn’t sure what’s she was indicating. I wound up hauling all my groceries into my apartment not helped. Yana balked helping me instead remained put into the car while Vikat kept giving me hurry up looks. I hauled everything into the lobby then Vikat drove away into the city. I wound up forced to put my bags totaling six of them around my wheelchair including onto my lap. I forced myself to wheel myself to the elevator despite the loads made it heavy to wheel. No one bothered to help me push into the elevator and out. Really rude!


I put away the groceries and then went onto the computer to type this blog down. I don’t know what I’m doing tonight other than eating dinner of a banana and some carrots.

Yana balked me asking her “Do I call you tonight?”

She shook her head and said “I’m too tired for a phone call so call me tomorrow.”



Anyway baby cute kitten wound up out of hiding and hung around me. Cutie had a cuddle hug onto my leg but went to sit down nearby me. Cute. I petted cute baby kitten but she wasn’t in a petting mood and wandered elsewhere. Poor kitty poor me.


I should mention that Yana had this entire week off from work. I’m not entirely sure of what she’s doing this week besides today’s outing.


I got on Tuesday, the Schizophrenic’s Club meeting in Connecticut which McCarty is picking me up at an early morning hour and driving me an hour to the meeting in another town in Connecticut. The traffic in NYC is really bad that it takes an hour to get out of the city hence McCarty has to pick me up early for that traffic. I’m just going to be reading a book while I’m in the car ride. The meeting is only four hours long and appeared to be talks on schizophrenics.


I’m not sure what I’m doing after the meeting. This depends on whether McCarty is free to drive me around. Such as grocery shopping or shopping for books at that bookstore I favor called Borders’ Books. McCarty always drives by the shopping plaza that holds that bookstore in it.


I asked Dad via text email “Any chance I could do laundry at your residence on Tuesdays after Schizophrenics’ Club?”

Dad text emailed me in response “Ask Tuesday.” in response to my question of doing laundry at his apartment on Tuesdays after Schizophrenics’ Club.

He doesn’t know if it’s ideal for every Tuesday or not. I figured since McCarty is driving me around why not laundry at Dad’s? Plus I get to hang around his boy cats especially Tigger who’s mister social.


Also I can sort my junk stored at Dad’s storage locker. Mostly get some of that junk sorted and tossed into the goodwill store. I figured I could sort it while I’m at Dad’s. Also see about sorting that junk down a bit including using the junk as an excuse to get Mom’s junky stuff out of my apartment.

She’s too dead to pay me for storage hence Madisoni insisted “You should take this junk from me.”

Ugh. I’ll have to next month emphasized on twenty dollars for storage into my apartment to Mom’s relatives if their alive. I hate doing that but the junk in my apartment is cluttering up to make Samantha sneeze. Cute baby kitten has been sneezing lately. I figured it’s either the lack of vacuuming or the junk collecting dust in here. I have yet to put the junk away into storage. I just left them sitting in the living room hence the kitty sneezing. Poor baby cute kitten.


I don’t have much planned for tonight or tomorrow. I figured I’ll fool around onto the computer for awhile. Mostly typing whatever thought comes to my mind. Hopefully I can eat something decent for dinner. Such as carrots and a banana. Ugh.


I didn’t buy much chocolate or ice cream. Instead I avoided buying either one of them. I figured I’ll try my best to eat more fruit and vegetables instead of junk food.


I figured I would try to walk to the Pharmacy store to get chocolate including walking to Creamsickle for ice cream. I have some money on hand for ice cream. I should use that instead of buying a big box of ice cream from grocery stores and eating too much of that. It’s enough to make me gain weight. Also enough to get sick from the food running through my system. Ugh.


I have to take my pills then I have to go eat something decent for dinner. Hopefully I can eat some fruit like bananas. Such as one of the two bananas I bought from stop and shop.


I was suffering from an attack of schizophrenia earlier today. I’m not sure if it’s gone away or not. I think the attack might come back and bother me again. Mostly forcing me to the computer again.


Tried the milk I bought from grocery store. Tasted a bit funny but ok. Its not expired till June according to label stamped on the carton. It’s supposedly made without some acidy ingredient in it. Not sure of that. Oh well but I noticed Vikat had that milk among her bagged stuff like two bottles of it in large size. I swear Vikat is part cat in a humanoid body.


Anyway I’m in the typing mood so I’m just typing into here till I get fed up. Mostly till I feel like watching TV for awhile. Just not entirely sure if I should go watch some TV especially HG.


I think their marathoning this house flipper business TV shows “Flips Flops” in the state of Mountain Town. It’s known for mountains despite used to be known as Colorado. This marathon is for the whole afternoon is when they’ll show some house program.

Mostly a house program involving bargain houses found at lakes called “Lakefront’s Hunters.”

I’m not sure if the title is correct. I think that’s the title. Not entirely sure.


Don’t have much inclination to view the TV. I just prefer to type onto the computer my thoughts for awhile.


Wound up watching the TV while eating carrots. I figured the carrots will do as my snack food for awhile. Mostly like eating the carrots. Their tasty stuff and pretty good alternative to junky foods like chocolate. I figured it’s about time I tried at least eats healthy like carrots as my snack food. So I ate the carrots then put them into a plastic bin with a cover on it.


I figured if I go out to lunch with Jane in her office I can tote the carrots with me. Mostly carrying the plastic bin via lunch bag and avoid junky foods like chocolate bought from the Pharmacy dubbed PH.


Also tote the carrots with me to Schizophrenic’s Club on Tuesday. But this time I aim to leave the carrots in the car in a food bag. Mostly so I can eat them while in the car ride to elsewhere.


Maybe to Dad’s for laundry if he agrees to that request. I’ll have something to eat while I’m at Dad’s. Dad hardly has food for me at his apartment in his refrigerator. Including foods I like to eat while I’m at Dad’s. Hence I having to bring my own food for eating while there. Dad’s diet of foods is different from mine.


Dad’s lack of food is from mostly feeds the cats more food than he feeds himself. I think he spoils the cats with food when they beg for some. Tigger was begging for food last time I was there at his apartment one occasion.

He was begging mostly via sitting on the counter and meowing at Dad as in saying “Feed I!”

Dad obeyed to Tigger’s request and fed him including the other kitty too. Tigger ate like a piglet ate both bowls food as a result despite some for Bogey. Bogey remained hiding so I left the apartment on dad’s telling me to leave. Tigger at first via fed food acted like a snob on the bob and turned his nose at the food. Oh well but he ate the food including Bogey’s food from the cat’s bowl hence Dad ordering me to leave. I think he wanted Bogey to eat food hence he insisting I leave for Bogey to show himself and eat.


Watching “Flips Flops” marathon on HG while typing onto the computer.


Humph no one is willing to talk to me. I’m in a talkative mood tonight.


I tried to text email Jane who online this message website. I think she’s on her cell phone because she ignored me. Didn’t reply to my text at all. She refuses to get the services involving cell phones for the message chat option. Instead prefers to use the computer for chatting. Ugh.


Vikat who managed to friend me online this message system was seen online and she always reads my messages and sometimes replies. I’m not entirely sure of what to say to her. I could tell her about my day but I don’t know. Just don’t feel up to chatting with her very much.


Prefer to rant to Jane about being sick today with the voice going off and me suffering from an unsafe feeling. Jane isn’t free for a chat. She ignored me while I text emailed her. Ugh.


Just a little depressed with people’s lack of responding to my messages including chatting with me.


I text emailed Dad whining “I’m feeling poorly. Talk to me.”

He ignored me. He hasn’t replied to my message.

Including me telling him “I’m home from being out.”

He still ignored me. Ugh.


I’m watching “Flips Flops” on HG.

I’m skipping the local news for that channel. Don’t feel up to viewing the local news or world news. Mostly filled with gloom and doom including news to hook people into thinking bad things are happening. Ugh. Plus I wanted to avoid making myself feel more depressed so I’m watching HG for awhile.


Mostly till I can go to bed lying down and avoiding aggravating my stomach. My intestinal tract is still giving me grief. I feel like I caught Yana’s sickness.

She whined on the phone earlier this week “I’m feeling poorly with something involving my intestinal tract.”

I think I caught her sickness when she came into my apartment and is sick from that. Ugh. Not entirely sure of what to do involving that sickness except hope I can sleep ok tonight into tomorrow morning.


Just have to stay up as late as I can while visiting the bathroom before I get tired enough to crash. I figured I’ll stay up till like ten and see if I can sleep for a few hours. I’m not going out tomorrow if I don’t get enough hours of sleep or is sick from this intestinal tract problem.


I might do laundry tomorrow if I feel inclined to get outside for a walk. The weather tomorrow might cause me to stay home burrowing with the TV and avoiding going out for walks. I’m not even sure if there’s going to be sunny weather for tomorrow. I think the weather is going to rain tomorrow.

If it rains then I’m staying home and watching talk shows galore on TV including this aggravating program “Love it. List it.” on HG if there’s a marathon of that TV show.


Mondays is when HG marathons “Love it. List It.”

All day into the evening. With a new episode on at nine then they change programming to something else at ten mostly marathons that TV series all day on Fridays too.

But at ten they air “House Hunt” programs weekly including on the weekends.


I’m still feeling my intestinal tract acting up. Ugh. I think I caught Yana’s sickness when I kissed her on the cheek in the restaurant. I think she was sick and spread the wealth onto me. I have to go to bed and sleep it off.

That despite the Meritanian blaring “Nighty night Smarty!’ onto me.

Good night.


I woke up this morning and wound up with terrible internet so don’t get me started with the whining. The internet froze up again when I was online. I was trying to update my blog. The internet keeps on freezing up every time I’m online my blog on website. I don’t even know if I’m succeeding in updating entries into my damn blog or not. I’m so sick and tired of this freezing ups.


It’s been tempting to sign up for a blog via another’s website. I figured I could try but I would have to ask for someone to buy that blog for me online via credit or debit card.


Even worse is my lack of debit or credit card has prohibited me from buying e-books. I haven’t been able to make any e-book purchases since I dumped my card.


The internet on the e-reader has been balking on allowing me to purchase e-books. Instead keeps giving me messages “Your purchase declined involving your lack of a card.”

This stinks further.


Chapter Eight

Just Depressed. Woke up fifteen minutes to eight o’clock. Didn’t want to do anything but write in my journal. Mostly sat on my bed writing in my journal and looking around the room while lost in my thoughts.


Just depressed. Don’t even want to shower yet or take my pills either. Same for eating food. Ugh.


Managed to shower and eat food.

Just waiting for Yana to reply to my text email I sent her saying “Its Victoria I’m up so text email me mews.”

Ugh the mews word is a joke involving Yana’s relationship with Vikat that makes me think it’s more than just friendship. I’m not entirely sure of this sexual term involving same sex couples. The High Council frowns harshly onto same sex couples joining up for relationships.

The group calls the same sex couples favors by the name of “Airhead.”

I swear that name is an insult for the group’s disapproval of the same sexual couples’ relationships.

Ugh but those same sex couples call themselves by the name of “Airens.”

I’m not entirely sure of where that name came from other than knowing it used to belong to a vampire elves species that’s no where in sight anymore. I think their still stuck on Annoyov Barrack Station feeding off whoever lives there. Ugh.


Want to go out for a walk to school to use their internet at their library. Problem is I’m not even sure if the computers would be free for me to use any of them. I got to self publish some stories including journaling entries to post online website Shakespir.


Just depressed like the lack of the sunlight is shining today. Just not even sure if I would want to go out for a walk today or not. Ugh. Too depressed to bother. I meant to go out for a walk but I’m not even sure if I would. I don’t know about the weather if it’s rainy or just plain cloudy.


Even baby cute kitten isn’t helping my mood either. She’s not in a hugging mood. Poor baby cute kitten. Poor me that I’m just depressed and unable to get anything done to cheer myself up. Not even the mood to get outside for a nice walk.


Snatched the baby cute kitten up for a hug fest. She sure cheered me up holding her. Except she wasn’t in the mood to be held. Sort of squirmed in my arms. Ugh. Poor kitty poor me.


Just not even sure of what to do today. It’s rather a depressing day. The sunlight isn’t out at the moment. Mostly cloudy and maybe raining today. Ugh it’s rather gotten me down in the dumps as a result.

“Terrible day!” chanted the voice.

Jeez what I need to start my day with!


Baby cute kitten got out of my arms and ran elsewhere. Not helping my sad mood when she’s gone to hide. The cutie isn’t in the mood to hang around me or get onto my lap or cheer me up.


Baby cutie got onto my front this morning. I woke up with her cuddling me. I put the baby cat on my front. She sat and licked my face galore for a bit then got off. I felt sad when she got off as a result.


I’m just cold in here. It’s rather cold in here and too warm for the heat to be on. The weather is somewhat changing to summer at the moment. It’ll be May with summer weather soon. I think in a few short days the month of May will arrive. Followed by Memorial Day the official start of summer in Americania. The USA or Americania still uses holidays involving planet Earth or Terra onto the natives of Aire. Memorial Day is habitually used as some excuse day for the High Council to play acts of rudeness like assassination of people attending services for Summerland celebrations.

Something that always gets Humans annoyed with the group saying “Drat the High Council for that stunt!” despite the High Council balking on taking responsibility and always playing some “We’re innocent!” act.


Ugh really annoying when’s the assassin is turned out to be an Annoyov as referred to someone working for the High Council that isn’t in service of the group hence that name. I’m not so sure of where that name came from to name a space station on an island with that label. Ugh..


Hopefully the summer weather will be pretty good I hope. I wouldn’t mind summer warmth. It’ll be nice having windows open galore.


Just too depressed to watch TV. Don’t feel inclined to watch a morning TV show. I don’t feel inclined to watch much TV this morning. Just don’t.


Missed Yana’s text by two minutes she telling me “Cheer up despite your mood.”

I didn’t pay attention to the cell phone at the time.

I did try to phone Yana but she ignored me and then text emailed me another response “I’m working so don’t disturb.”



I think around ten thirty I wound up itching to take a walk outside so I did that. I wound up walking to the school’s library. Used their internet on their computer.


I found that my blog did download my journals. Yay. At least I’m doing something right involving downloading my journals. At least it shouldn’t be a problem for me to keep on doing that despite froze ups at home.


The school’s internet was better for me to use. I found the internet didn’t freeze up. Instead allowed me to check my blog’s website. I wound up friending some people online there but not that many. Just a few people who seemed worthy of reading out of wanting something to read. Then after that I wound up amusing myself for awhile.


Mostly checked my email account for a website’s stories involving animal submissions. I’m in charge of the animals’ theme. I decide on what gets accepted or not. So I checked out my email account involving that including those submissions. Found the website refused to work with the internet service I used so I had to change to an older internet service. Ugh.


After that I around noon left school intending to go to a restaurant for lunch but opt to go to the school’s cafeteria. Good thing I did. I saw Jane there.

She told me “I emailed you via message’s option that I was free for lunch.”

I wound up asking the cook “I like a cheese sandwich and some soda.”

Cheese sandwiches is my favorite food something a diet that dad had for years till it was revealed he was a clone of the High Council created to eat that food. Ugh. Jane and I went to chit chat at a table for awhile.


Beau and some of the sign language’s students showed up. Jane went to her office with Beau who’s an older friend of Jane that does odd jobs around her residence house in a small town out of the city. Beau and I wound up following her. She needed to print something for Beau so she did that then her student for tutoring arrived. Beau drove me home.

“Thanks Beau!” I managed to thank him as always for the ride.


At home I didn’t see the cute baby kitten hanging around me. I think she’s gone to snooze somewhere or something. I’m not entirely sure of that. Oh well.


Speaking of the cute baby kitten she came out of hiding and went to my chair intending to rub herself against my legs. I snatched her up for a nice hug. She kitty kissed me in response then got out of my arms cute.


Snatched the baby kitten up for another hug fest after she did cuddles onto my legs. Mostly rubbing her against my legs. Cutie tolerated the hug fest I threw her in. She kitty kissed me in response then got out of my arms as always. Cute baby kitten must be happy to have me home. Cutie was friendly onto me. I guess she missed me terribly. Poor kitty I guess.


I’m glad I went out for a walk today. At least I got to cheer myself up despite feeling miserable and sad this morning. It’s rather nice being outside walking.


The sun was shining a bit but not that much.

“The weather is supposedly being rain this afternoon.” according to Jane when we talked about the weather.

I brought along my umbrella but didn’t use that thing. It didn’t rain till I got home is when I think the weather started to rain. It’s rather cloudy at the moment. Not even shining of sun. I guess that the rains are falling now. Not entirely sure of how much rain will fall today. Maybe a trace or something. Don’t know.


Brought along in my purse a book I was intending to read.

I brought along a book by Shanna Marie involving her “Assassin Lord” series.

I’m aiming to finish that book the best I can. I only have around one hundred pages left to finish that book and I’ll be done. Just hoping I can finish that book and seeing if I can get the rest of the series by Shanna Marie from the town library. Just have to see if book number whatever number it is ends in a cliffhanger. If it does then I’ll go online Shelf or my e-reader and read a sample of book two to see if it explains the cliffhanger ending in book. Not entirely sure if that book will end like that. Ugh.


I did bring along my bible within my purse. I’ve been using the bible for reading off attacks of schizophrenia talking about paranoia or that familiar forgetting question. The bible reading book has always helped me avoid hearing the chanting. That book has seemed to help me feel much better whenever attacked by the schizophrenia. It’s rather nice when I get to read the bible and feel much better from the attack. It’s a good help to me anyway.


Don’t have much planned for today. I’m more inclined to stay home than going out for a walk again. Or bother to do laundry today too.


Prefer to wait till tomorrow Tuesday is when I can bug McCarty to drive me to Dad’s residence for that chore to be done. I’m trying to save quarters on that chore. Instead of doing that laundry chore at the laundry room and spend quarters just do it at Dad’s which is down the road from my apartment. Also take advantage of those driving me around days on Tuesdays to do laundry.


I get to hang around his kitties. One would be friendlier but one would hide.

Ugh again.


Cute baby kitten has gone to TV watch her version of cat TV in my bedroom. My bedroom has a sliding glass door to a porch. Baby cute kitten loves to sit in front of the sliding blinds and peer outside at the world going by her. She seems to like doing that. Except she quits doing that viewing whenever I get near her. Poor kitty thinks I don’t approve and runs to hide underneath my damn bed. Dumb cat, dumb animal doesn’t get it at all.


Signed up for the App in my cell phone involving Romance novels.

It’s called “Ever After” and is an application for downloading romance novels.

The App sends me emails of deals involving downloading romance novels. Some are free and some are for a discount off the regular prices.


I’ve been trying to take advantage of the deals involving free e-books via the App to download with codes for that free downloading. I recently found out that my e-reader can download those stories for free if their on the Borders’ books website.


So I downloaded this free story “Living in yonder” by Shanna Marie.

I’m trying to support Shanna Marie with the downloading of her free e-books including buying her books. Just to show that she’s a good writer despite her works comes from the Meritanians.

“Living in yonder” is a romance involving time travel from what I’ve read in the email advertising it involving medieval Shadan from what’ve read so far.


I figured I’ll take advantage of those free deals in that App and download them into my e-reader if I can get them via the Borders’ Books website. Something to have for reading for free out of needing something to read for free including something for downloading for free.


Mostly because I don’t have a card for downloading e-books I purchase. I’m stuck doing free e-books as a result. Downloaded some free e-books but not much. Some are appearing to be romance by the cover. Some are just something else. Anyway I’ll have to look for those free e-books when I can get the chance to do it via e-reader. Mostly looking for certain code words for those free e-books.


I also figured I could download my own work involving e-books I’ve self published online Shakespir for free. It’ll be entertaining I guess for me to read my own work. Mostly something to read via e-reader and not get stressed out with the internet cutting itself off and cutting the story off that I can’t finish it till later.


The e-reader is based onto the internet. There are areas where I can use that thing for reading e-books but not at the school. The school has some policy for students and people to sign into a password log in code for use of their internet. I think the school doesn’t trust people to do hacking onto other people’s internet’s use or their equipment.


I love my cute baby bundle of fur! I saw the cutest cat sitting on her chair. Snatched her up for hug fest. Not much of a hug fest but enough to annoy her. Poor kitty has to put up with those hug fests I throw her in. Pity. Also wound up putting her back into her chair then rubbing her cute furry back. She’s really cute when held. Even cute when she’s sitting in a curled up position. Leaves me tempted to snatch her up for a nice hug fest. Cute. Love that baby bundle of fur too much. Aw.


Life’s Aggravations is something I should mention instead of a lovely dove message involving the cute baby kitten. Ugh wound up down loading a ton of e-books onto my e-reader. I’m just trying to download what I can get for free in e-book form. So I downloaded my work in free e-book form. Wound up staring at the e-reader for awhile doing down loading.


Ugh again. Anyway I’m just aggravated by the schizophrenia because I’m feeling slight paranoid. My paranoia is going off. Including the voice isn’t chanting but I’m feeling almost to the point of chanting.


I think staring at my e-reader caused me to feel slightly paranoid. Ugh.


I recalled I once stared at that thing for a few hours reading a panicky story involving something to do with the word panic. I wound up with the voice chanting about a paranoia attack after that right in the middle of staring at the e-reader. I had to quit the staring and go watch some TV as a result.


I find if the e-reader keeps on aggravating me mentally involving the schizophrenia I might have to dump that thing onto the pawn shop and hope for some money. Then after that get some books in paper form and forget getting e-books. Ugh.


Maybe I could dump that thing onto dad to hold onto. He paid for that e-reader so he can hold onto it for me and see what I can do to avoid aggravating my schizophrenia from now on whenever I read that thing. Triple Ugh.


Yana has today off from work. The whole week off from work. I’m not going to be able to relax till I hear from her text email wise. Mostly in response to my text email I sent her this afternoon.


I wound up skipping the news’s channel and going to HG channel for “Love it. List it.”

I figured that TV show should be entertaining than whatever’s on news’ channel. I’m just not willing to watch news’s channel at a certain hour. I don’t care for that TV show on that hour involving a male whose acts like a lunatic immature for his age. What an idiot for having that talk show. He’s an idiot. Prefer something else than that talk show guy and his immature four year behavior. Yuck.

“Idiots are stupid.” As said by the voice.

Really annoying!


Also not entirely sure of what I’m doing for this journal in May. Either start a new word program file or just do this monthly. I figured it can’t hurt to do this journal monthly. Mostly till I got enough to type a lengthy journal file to save onto the computer as one file.


Right now this journal typing was started onto the eighteenth of April. It’s been a few weeks now. I’m just getting my typing urges down and done.


I used to do journaling via typing onto the computer when I lived in Wethersfield, Connecticut with Robert my brother when’s he’s turns out to be another cloned form of Jinks Montreal birthed through a female. I would type journal entries galore practically everyday. I quit doing that for awhile. Mostly for a few years. It’s been awhile since I’ve been journaling onto the computer typing down my thoughts.


I’ve been mostly typing down stories instead of journaling my thoughts. It took me a bit before I could figure out that typing my thoughts would be a good alternative to getting rid of my typing urges.


I really wanted to type stories but the mood to type stories wasn’t there every time I sit down onto the computer. Hence I was typing my thoughts down onto the computer for awhile. I figured I’ll keep this up till I get fed up and start to type stories again. I’m not sure when I’ll get fed up. Oh well.


Jeez phone problems wound up texting Yana repeatedly “You free for a phone call? Text emails me!’

I was repeating that commentary over and over every hour from four o’clock to six o’clock mostly till like six o’clock is when I rang her up.


I was intending to leave this message “It’s Victoria. Can’t you be bothered to text me or respond to my messages I send you? You go jump into a lake for that phone ignorance!”


Lucky me but bad for the operator Yana picked up before her answering machine could come onto the phone. Yana and I were on the phone for over an hour. Mostly discussing stuff. Also discussing what she was watching on TV. Ugh.


Yana habitually watches TV while on the phone with whoever including me. She habitually allows the TV to catch her eye enough to talk what’s blaring on the screen to the person she’s babbling about via phone. It sucks when she does that.


Around seven o’clock Yana and I got off the phone due to Yana’s whining “I need to go lie down. I’m falling asleep on the phone.”

I obeyed to say “Respects to you Yana.”

The operator hung up our call and gave me the stop keying symbol before she could say anything. Really rude!

“Yana isn’t for sex!” said voice in response to me thinking “I love Yana.”

I wound up thinking via that wording comment again only to hear “What’s with you loving Yana like an airhead?”

I realized the voice was of Merra saying it to me which I tried to explain to her “I love Yana like a twin sister or a family member.”

Merra wound up saying in response “Twin sister love sucks.”

I discovered Merra quit talking to me despite the schizophrenic voice repeating that comment over and over that I typed it down and went to watch TV.


I wound up turning on the TV to “Love it. List it.” HG channel don’t particularly care for that TV series. It always aggravates my schizophrenia to chant the results of that TV show. Sometimes the schizophrenia is correct on the results of the contest. Sometimes it’s wrong. I can’t enjoy this TV series because of this crappy status by the schizophrenia.


Also the schizophrenia has chanted results of competitions before. Like two teams playing each other and it would chant sometimes the loser and sometimes the winner over and over.


One time during the TUGs involving winter the schizophrenia chanted “UCR” as the winner of the men’s gold medal game for ice hockey. I thought the schizophrenia was correct on accurately picking the winner. Turns out it was wrong. UCR won silver with protests to the results despite the actual winner a group of Humans dubbing them Americanians won the gold. I think the High Council’s team balked standing on the podium listening to America’s music instead out of being a sore loser walked out of the arena. Ugh sort losers.

Hate that chanting crap from the schizophrenia. It sucks.


Just don’t like watching competitions because of the schizophrenia chanting who wins and sometimes who loses. I don’t particularly care to have that.


I skipped the football’s biggest game once. I only saw like five minutes of that enough to assume one team was going to win.

I was hearing “Patriots” over and over.

Mostly during the game of Redcoats versus blue coated Patriots. I wound up assuming the Redcoats would win then I went to bed. Woke up in the morning to find the Patriots won the game.


Not entirely sure of what’s with the chanting crap by the schizophrenia.


I wound up online internet out of boredom. Wound up online Shelf posting books I’m going to read and books I own. I figured it’ll entertain me for awhile.


Anyway was barely watching the TV.


Wound up skipping the TV and just focusing onto the internet. I wound up online Shakespir’ website checking out those free e-books I have in my library on my profile online there. Mostly checking those e-books online my e-reader. I thought I would find the e-books and download them onto the e-reader.


Some e-books were free while some weren’t. Ugh. Meant I would have to purchase those e-books to read them. Yuck. Don’t have the credit card for it. Oh well.


Have managed to quit the internet. Because it froze up again. I was planning on updating my blog but the computer froze up. Had to wait a bit before it quit freezing up for me to do anything.


Anyway I have to go to bed early tonight. Not entirely sure of the alarm clock waking me up. I was hospitalized for a week and left the alarm clock’s alarm on at seven o’clock to go off. I bet that thing went off every seven o’clock morning’s time frame. Not entirely sure if the battery is still in good condition.


Ugh. I might have to sleep without the eye wear mask on tonight if I can. Either that or sleep and hope that the alarm clock wakes me up in the morning. Ugh. I’m not going to be sleeping very heavily tonight.


Also I might have to lie in bed awake for a while till my eyes get used to the dark then sleep and hope for the best.


I do have to take my pill the Sapphris and sleep the best I can. I’m stuck with the Sapphris for anxiety to take before I go to bed. I depend on that pill for my attacks of schizophrenia involving those paranoia attacks. I sometimes take the pills to help me sleep. Sometimes they work and other times they don’t.


Don’t have much planned for tomorrow other than that Schizophrenics’ Club meeting in another town. I’m just aiming to show up for it. Then after that I’m just aiming to do laundry at Dad’s.


Maybe I could try to get a book started for reading. I listed a bunch of books onto Shelf as what I’m going to read. I’m just aiming to see if I’ll follow through with that.


I do have a town library book I’ve been meaning to read. I have to get around to reading that book a town library book.

It’s book of Shanna Marie’s Meritanian series “Assassin Lord.”

I’m just aiming to read that book and finish it before it’s due at the town library.


Anyway as for the library book I’m just aiming to read as much of it as I can stand.

Then after that I aim to read one of those books I posted onto Shelf as “I’m planning to read.”

I like to be able to follow through with this idea and actually read one of those books. Just hope I can do that despite posting the book onto Shelf.


I don’t normally finish or read books I posted onto Shelf. Sometimes I post books I’m reading in progress but don’t actually finish them. I find myself not actually reading books I post as I’m going to be reading in the future. My mood for books varies depending on how I feel when I finish a book.


Also I’m sort of like a kid involving books. I crave a book and when I get the book I don’t like it even if I’m reading it. I set that book aside. Sometimes I don’t bother reading that book. I just keep the book on hand and don’t bother to read it. I’ve gotten books I’ve have for years I haven’t bothered to read.


Some are just books I bought from authors I’ve favored and trying to show loyalty towards them. Some are books that the public raved about and I had to get my own copy of them. Some of those books are books I impulse bought at the bookstore. Sometimes impulsively picked at the town library’s bookstore for me to buy. I also have gotten books from the school’s free bookshelf impulsively like wanting to read them.


I don’t normally read those books right away once I got them at home. I just set them aside piled them into my bookcases and ignore them for awhile. I hate it when I do that.


I’m just craving to read some books I posted onto Shelf as “I’m planning to read.” Practically dying to read them. Ugh.


Anyway I’m not entirely sure if I would have time to read any of those books tonight. I’m supposedly being in bed. It’s going on bedtime soon. I have to set alarm clock for seven and hope the alarm will go off.


With daylight earlier I might be able to sleep till the glaring sunlight is sensed. Not entirely sure of that. I just hope the battery of the alarm clock is ok for me to use. I might have to lie in bed for awhile till my eyes get used to the dark like I said so I can sleep REM sleep. Also hope I sleep fine into the morning.


Just might as well quit for bed. I need my sleep.


Chapter Nine

Tuesday today despite its too many choices involving what book I should bring with my to the Schizophrenic’s Club meeting. Today’s the club and I have to bring a book with me in the car ride to the meeting. I have too many choices of books to pick and read. Ugh.


I’ll have to see about reading a town library book. I’ll have to see about reading that book and seeing how it goes. Ugh again on not starting that book. Oh well.


Anyway I’m not entirely sure of what’s next in the Assassin Lord’s series by Shanna Marie. I might just bug town library for more books on that series. Just see about reading more of it if I’m inclined to do it.


Maybe look online Shelf for more books of that series and just see what their about. I figured that Shelf should have something listed involving the Assassin Lord’s series. I think the Assassin Lord’s series is a series and not a trilogy. Not entirely sure.


Anyway I’m just fed up with “I’m the Assassin Lord” by Shanna Marie.

I can’t seem to get myself to finish that book. I only have about a hundred pages left to finish then I’ll be done. I can’t seem to get myself to finish that book despite it’s reminding me of Tom being an assassin named Mindbender. I found that book’s contents is putting me off from wanting to finish it..


I had an outing today. I wound up bringing three books with me I didn’t bother to read while in the car ride to the meeting.

I brought along “I’m kicking!” by Mia Mairead, “Assassin Lord” by Shanna Marie I already read and “Deceiving Appearances” by Beth Hoyer.


I meant to read those books but I’m just fed up at the moment. Just fed up with reading books. Not entirely sure if I’m going through a time period where I don’t want to read any books for awhile. Not entirely sure if its burn out or not. Oh well.


So instead of reading those three books I wound up writing into my journal and reading a page of my bible. I wound up anxious when reading that bible so I gave up and mostly wrote in my journal till I arrived to the church for Schizophrenics’ Club.


Schizophrenics’ Club went fine. I had fun playing Jeopardy games including learning some stuff. Plus doing some art work like making a book clock drawing for a theme of having a day to oneself. It sounded fun and creative for me to do.


Well June thirtieth is the last day of the club for the summer break. I’m going to be bored to tears. Hopefully I’ll entertain myself with reading books galore. Just something I like to be able to do book wise. Mostly have fun reading books and being entertained by them. I wouldn’t mind if I could read some more books and keep on doing it.


Plus focus onto reading books instead of watching too much TV like nuts.

Like what Yana says “TV is boring.”

It sucks that I’m addicted to the TV.


Oh well. Last year I made about ninety three books read as my total for the whole year. This year I’m in the mid forties for books I’ve read. I’m still ahead of my pace while online Shelf. I’m just hoping I can keep the book reading up and seeing what I can do to amuse myself book wise. Just got too many choices at the moment I’m just trying to see which one I should focus onto and finish too.


I wouldn’t mind if I could finish a book enough to make it fifty books read this year. Just enough to stop pressuring myself to finish reading books or trying to get books finished.


Ugh. Hate Shelf. I seem to have a love hate relationship with Shelf. Ugh.


Just don’t care for Shelf because I have to register every single book I got onto there as reads so I can keep a record of that. I just don’t care for that. I don’t like doing that book adding but it’s a necessary thing to see if I can read more than ninety three books this year. Ninety three is the most I’ve read since I’ve joined Shelf to register books read in one year. Happened last year.


The most I’ve read so far is eighty two in one year. Not sure what year. Oh have to check online Shelf to be sure.


I was hoping on reaching one hundred books read in one year and then back off on my reading book binge craziness. Mostly take my time reading books instead of trying for one hundred as a goal and forcing myself to read books I don’t want to read. It sucks.


Baby cute kitten is hanging around me. She’s lying on the floor looking cute on her side. Anyway the baby kitten wound up hiding when Beau came into here to fix up my computer internet. The computer internet was giving me problems. Ugh. So I spotted the baby cat hiding in my bedroom behind the bed’s stand. She looked at me once when I spotted her but ignored me. I guess she wasn’t in a friendly mood towards poor Beau fixing my computer’s problems with the internet. I guess she doesn’t like Beau or the smell of his kitties onto him. He’s got kitties at his house. I bet that the kitties mark themselves all over the place including onto his, own clothes and bed. Poor Beau.


Beau managed to fix up the internet. Yay. He took like two hours to fix it up so I could get onto the computer and update this blog. It sucks when he took that long to fix the computer’s internet problems. Oh well.


I must add that after Schizophrenics’ club I went grocery shopping for some food I didn’t have at home. Mostly food I forgot to buy and restocking of food I ran out of. Like bananas. I ran out of them. I bought two of the bananas while out with Yana and Vikat. I ate them both so I was out.


Today I was out with McCarty and bought some more. Not too many. Just two of them enough to keep stocked of bananas for me to eat. I ate one banana once I was home.


I bought some cheese I thought would be tasty stuff but turned out they have pepper in them. I didn’t like them so I put them into the refrigerator to figure out who to dump those god awful cheese onto. I thought Beau would want them but he forgot to take them when he left. Ugh.


I’m really tired at the moment. Keep on yawning too much. I woke up this morning. I wound up sleeping some more till like alarm clock time.


I had a weird dream or REM’s sleep dream. It involved me in a car with red interior in the back seat of a sedan I think it was. I was just pulling some clothes from the side of me off my right and putting them into my backpack or putting them on. The clothes were plaid red pajamas from the looks of them. Also I saw my friend Jane outside the car wearing a light blue hooded sweater and having curly hair. I think in the dream I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and was cold despite still warmed up by the blankets. Ugh. I wound up opening the car door of the two car vehicle and stuck my foot onto it.


That’s about it involving that dream. Don’t remember much else than that. I even wrote this down in my journal but not that descriptive. Humph I suspect that dream was involving a cloned copy having a memory or something. Mostly due to the Meritanians’ Merra and Tank snickering into my mind and I remembering this dream. I suspect the Meritanians are sickening me with memories of my clones when’s I’m sleeping.

As traditionally said “Argh you stinking Meritanian!”

The voice wound up saying “Plants are stinky!”

Meritanians mostly Merra retaliated by dumping me into Dad’s pool in his pool room. I wound up swimming in my clothes despite sensing a splash and found arms wrapped around me including kissed onto the lips. I recognized the lips as my Tom’s lips but they seemed bigger sized. I wound up breaking off the kiss to find Tom wasn’t my human Tom’s version instead was an ape or gorilla version with that look on his face. He got me out of the pool into the men’s locker room where he wound up babying me and not mating with me. I suspect that ape’s version of Tom was clueless involving the mating. He wound up once I was cleaned shooed me out of the men’s locker room via giving me a Shadonian snapping Human gesture of shooing. I obeyed and went to the women’s locker room to put on my clothes then used the other entrance to avoid mister gorilla to dad’s elevator. Dad’s guard a human with golden eyes spoke gibberish and I found myself dumped onto my bed which I went to type this down.


Once I got up I took a shower and got no banging from the neighbors for use of the facilities. I usually get banging when I’m showering earlier than seven o’clock by the neighbors banging onto the walls or ceiling. They sometimes bang when I’m doing typing onto the computer lengthy. It sucks when people don’t seem concerned by that.


Once I got home I opened the window. Baby cute kitten hid and didn’t show herself around Beau doing his work onto the computer. It was when Beau left is when baby kitten showed herself and seemed interested with the open window. Enough for the baby cute kitten to sniff her cute little nose off. Including doing her version of cat TV too. Cute the baby cute kitten wound up onto the window still in front of the open window. She’s busy sniffing her cute little nose off. Including busy doing her version of cat’s TV.


Cute baby kitten didn’t stay onto the window still too long. Instead she got off and wandered elsewhere. I’m not sure where she went to hide. Dumb cat for doing that hiding bit. Can’t she be more social around me?


I have a love/hate relationship with the cutest cat ever. I love her one day and then I hate her another day. Mostly because I have to clean the Dumperium I call her bathroom of its stinky smells. P.U. Plus she hides when I clean out the Dumperium of waste. It’s like she’s afraid I’ll yell at her for that. I haven’t yelled at the cutest cat for that. Instead I have picked her up and slobbered her with hugs and kisses. She doesn’t like being picked up all the time. She’ll occasionally allow me to pick her up but not all the time.


I love to kiss my cutest cat ever with kisses and hugs galore. I don’t get it how the cute baby kitten can stand me doing those hugs and kisses onto her royal cuteness. Poor kitty but lucky kitty she’s got me who loves her too much to give her kisses and hugs galore.


Cutest cat ever must have gone to hide underneath the couch. Dumb cat dumb animal. Doesn’t get it that I want her social around me more often instead of hiding too much. That’s one thing I hate about the cutest cat ever. This really sucks when that hiding has to happen. Oh well.


But she’s more social onto me when she wants food. She’ll be social enough to demand food for her food bowl. Even keeping me up awake for hours if I don’t feed her royal highness food into her food bowl. Poor me and poor kitty. Ugh. She has done that behavior onto me once. Kept me up for hours despite my attempts to sleep. I found she was indicating food into her food bowl and kept on pawing me up despite my attempts to sleep. I figured out that her pawing after awhile was related to food so I fed her royal highness some food then went back to sleep. Cutie was happy then and allowed me to sleep in peace.


Ought to watch TV mostly a talk show on news’s channel. I might watch that for an hour then after that go watch the local news for an hour. Then at six o’clock start ringing people up for a phone call.


Ugh. Just not entirely sure of what else I should be doing other than typing this blog down. I’m really should be watching TV but I’m not in the mood. I prefer to type onto the computer for awhile.


Maybe I’ll eat something decent.


I got home and had a banana and some ice cream as a snack. I still got those carrots in a bin in my refrigerator I could munch onto them as a dinner food. Just not that hungry for dinner despite my snacking but I’m hoping that when five rolls around I’ll be able to eat some food. Like those carrots. I’ve been meaning to eat more of them. Ugh.


Well got the TV on to a talk show. I’m just watching TV during breaks of typing into here. Just something to do out of boredom. Plus I like to type my thoughts down. But it sucks when I’m running out of material to type down into my blog. Oh well.


Perhaps later I’ll think of something to type down.


My cell phone problems I tried to send Yana a text email but the cell phone balked. It balked when I tried to send Dad a text email. Ugh. I had no internet on that thing. It sucked when I wasn’t able to access anything online the cell phone. Sucks.


Anyway I had to ring Dad up via landline phone for that. Tried his usual area code number but he ignored me. I recalled he got a new cell phone so I tried his other area code number and reached him. I wound up whining of that lack of internet service onto my cell phone including still unable to send text emails. It sucks to do that ringing up but nothing I can do except wait for dad’s hired hand to arrive here around seven o’clock. Ugh.


Also means around six I’ll have to ring up others and see what I can do phone wise. Perhaps the people I ring up won’t be that talkative or something. Ugh.


Sucks anyway. Also ate dinner early as four thirty during a talk show. I’m always eating food during this talk show. Humph.


Also had the window open for awhile. Not too long. I wound up suffering from cold chills so I shut that window. It’s supposedly warm today but I’m freezing in my home. It sucks when I’m cold. Nothing I can do about it except hope this time I can avoid getting sick. I had to shut the window because my sinus was in pain. So I shut it. Also I wound up cold as a result. Humph.


Plus I’m tired too. I stayed up late as eleven thirty typing onto the computer. Then I quit around that time. I wound up lying awake in bed for ten minutes. Mostly trying to get my eyes used to the dark so I could sleep with REM sleep right away. I find this helps me sleep right away with REM’s sleep mode. I don’t just lay there with my eyes shut daydreaming stories I won’t be typing. Instead I just lie there staring at the bedroom’s contents till I can see in the dark then I wear my eye wear mask and shut my eyes and sleep galore.


Not entirely sure of what to do involving the schizophrenia attacking me at night before I go to bed. Don’t know. I do get attacks on and off but I’m not entirely sure if I would be willing to lie down staring at my stuff while hearing the schizophrenia’s chanting into my mind. I might just wear my eye wear mask and sleep it off. Maybe just hoping to sleep off the noise. Humph.


My cell Phone Problems Part Two. Dad’s hired hand revealing to be Beau came over to help me fix my cell phone’s problem. He found the internet on that thing was off. Ugh. He turned the internet back on into that cell phone and found the visit a waste of time. Beau seemed grumpy when he left. Ugh.


Now I’m just got the TV on blaring “Flips Flops” on HG. I think their airing flops’ marathons instead of flips. Oh well. Mostly most of the episodes were ending of flops for houses not sold actually. I haven’t seen a house ended into a flip for profit yet. I figured maybe tonight they might show something I’m hoping.


Chapter Eight

My results of cell phone problems that further wound up aggravating me.

I wound up phoning Beau via landline to whine “My cell phone still doesn’t work.”

Last night Beau assumed he fixed my cell phone so he left. I discovered that thing didn’t work this morning.

Beau told me via phone “I’m picking you up at noon today to go to Tee Vee’s store.”

Tee Vee is the name of the cell phone service. He came around noon. I saw him parked outside waiting for me via video camera recording to the outside to my TV.


Also had to call the nurse this morning via lapto phone operator because of my cell phone problems telling her “My cell phone doesn’t work with the texting so let me know of a time to come see me.” ‘

She arrived at the time of ten o’clock as she said via phone and saw me.

She told me “You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow for your mental health at eleven thirty.”


She added “I rang up the doctor and scheduled the appointment.”

Sucks when I can’t get out of that appointment despite missing some scheduled times to the annoyance of the nurse. I haven’t been going to the doctor’s office for therapist’s talks because I find the therapy talks only last fifteen minutes and seemed to be a waste of time for me to be there. I always take twenty minutes via walk to the building where the office is and then the doctor as always makes me wait thirty minutes for a fifteen minute talk. He’s not too talkative with me always makes me write down what’s my problems is for him to read. Ugh hence I hate those appointments but I’ll go anyway.


Well went to Tee Vee’s store in another town bordering NYC. I wound up fooling around via e-reader and fooling around via journal. Mostly read my journal and wrote stuff down. Beau managed to get the employee to fix my cell phone. Yay then I went home.


Didn’t do much other than opening a window and reading more of an e-book “I’m not perfect.” by Kimberly True.

It’s her autobiography book on her life. I preordered that via e-book form and got it into my e-reader. Yay for me.


Read that e-book till like chapter six is when I quit watch a talk show on TV.


Wound up thinking of updating my blog as a result. I wasn’t sure if I could type stuff down or not. I wasn’t in the mood this morning but now I’m in the mood this afternoon.


Had some food. It sucks when I eat junky foods and hardly anything healthy. Oh well.


Baby cute kitten wound up friendly onto me when I was eating my ice cream cone. She was hanging around me and appearing to want to eat the crumbs that hit the floor. Silly kitty but dumb cat.


The schizophrenia wound up noisy since I’ve gotten up this morning. It sucks when it’s noisy and is still noisy at the moment making me think the Meritanians’ are laughing into my mind again. Not entirely sure of what brought that on. Yuck. It’s sounding of garbled talk to me. Not entirely sure of when it’ll turn into a voice with words and start to creep me out enough to scare me. It sucks when that happens. But nothing I can do about it except go to bed and sleep the noise off.


I had the window open for a bit but shut it because I was cold. Plus including feeling my sinuses aggravated by the air outside. So I shut the window. Don’t aim to open the window for awhile. Not till I’m sure I can air out the home place and be ok sinus wise.


Also ok with the voice not aggravated by the sinuses acting up including my allergies. I feel like when I have allergies acting up is when the voice acts up including getting the schizophrenia attacking me. It sucks.


Not entirely sure of when I’m to turn on the air conditioner unit on and use that. I don’t know if I would want to use that thing or not. I might have to because of my sinuses and allergies acting up. It further sucks anyway.


Also see if I can do vacuuming around here. I got a vacuum cleaner I need to use for my sinuses. It sucks when I can’t seem to vacuum much around here. It’s the pits.


Plus I got food crumbs scattered around the floor waiting for any bugs or my cute baby kitten to eat. It sucks when the cute baby kitten is eating my crumbs I spill onto the floor of my ice cream cone involving peanuts and chocolate. It sucks. Also sucks when she’s eating cheese fallen onto the floor via my diet pizza. Ugh. Not what I had in mind to put up with from the cutest cat ever or myself. Ugh.


I wound up onto the phone for a bit trying to reach whoever was willing for a talk. No one was willing and ignored their phone then after that I wound up turning onto the TV to “Canada Brothers” on HG.

I love that TV show including “Fixed Uppers.”


I like to watch “Canada Brothers” help homeowners fix up houses to their taste. It’s nice. Also it sucks when that TV show doesn’t discuss location very much. I think it’s based in United Crap Republic hence the lack of location uses. Not to put the Americans off from the High Council’s locations’ themes in that TV series.


“Fixed Uppers” is American and discusses location in Texas. That show makes me want to live in Texas and commune among nature. Mostly just do something involving nature instead of staying home connected to my cell phone and computer too much. Ugh.


Chapter nine

Thursday. Ugh depressed. Just don’t want to go out for a walk today.


Just don’t want to see my mental health doctor for an appointment today. Really don’t want to walk to that appointment. Just don’t think that doctor is doing anything for me.


I complained of my mental health issues before I wound up hospitalized. He did nothing and did nothing involving my medicines. I wound up hospitalized from the schizophrenia attacking me. It sucks.


Also woke up depressed this morning. Didn’t want to get up and do anything. Just wanted to lie there with the cutest cat ever sitting on my front. Prefer her to leaving this apartment for anything. Just don’t. Humph.


Baby cute kitten wound up visiting me multiple times in my sleep. Cute. Also she was cute enough to sit onto my front this morning as I woke up to look at her royal cuteness. She was cute enough to accept being petted then she got off.


I got up but didn’t do much right away. Just not hungry for food when I wake up. I think I’m going to be late taking my pills again. It sucks.


I think I’m going to be late taking my shower too. Ugh. Maybe later I’ll shower or do something like taking my pills and eating breakfast. Not entirely sure of what to do this morning despite depressed. Ugh.


Took my shower. Managed to take my pills and eat something. Ugh. Just too depressed to bother to go out for a walk today.


Don’t feel good today. Just don’t feel like going out for a walk. Maybe later I’ll change my mind on this. Right now I’m just too depressed to bother to walk outside now. Ugh.


Also baby cute kitten demanded food so I fed her. She was a happy kitty enough to stuff her face of food. Guess she’s happy now. I last saw her TV watching in my bedroom behind the blinds. Ugh. Cute baby kitten peered at me making the bed but kept her position behind the blinds. Cute. I wound up ignoring her and making my bed. Then after that I finished being online.


Wanted to type an email but no one was available for a chat. Ugh. Meant Jane and Yana. Jane hasn’t replied to my text email I sent her earlier this week or hasn’t read or replied to my emails yet.


Ugh just depressed. Hence I on the computer typing this down out of needing something to be typed. Ugh. I wanted to type something like an email but people weren’t cooperating so I gave up being online the message’s site. Wound up on my blog instead. Sort of wanted to type something instead of just an email to people. Ugh.


Don’t know what to do with the month of May. Don’t know if I should start a new word file for the month of May or not. I don’t know. It’s the last day of April and I’m sort of barely reached one hundred pages into here. I thought I would reach one hundred pages into here for entries in my blog but seem it’s not happening. Oh well.


I’m debating on what books to bring. Have no idea what books I should bring along with me to the doctor’s appointment today assuming I go. I figured I’ll bring my e-reader and read this book “I’m not perfect” by Kimberly True.


True’s book is really good so far. I kind of like it enough to want to finish the whole thing galore in one sitting. It sucks when I’m not able to do that yet. I’ve read about five chapters in one sitting actually. Well that’s nice.


Just might bring “Assassin Lord” series with me into my purse. It’s a paperback book and easy for me to carry including the e-reader too. I figured it’ll be easy for me to carry that if I finished True’s book. Ugh.


Not entirely sure if I would want to bring “I’m Kicking!” by Mia Mairead or not. I don’t know if I should. It’s a hardcover book and heavy. I don’t want to overload my backpack purse with books galore.


Its sucks when I do that because I don’t know what book I’ll be interested into reading when I arrive to my destination. Ugh.


Besides I could hand carry Mairead’s book and see about reading it on the way to the doctor’s when I walk to there.


I’m just not looking forwards to walking to the doctor’s for an appointment. Ugh.


The sun is out at the moment. But it’s supposedly being cold today. Cold enough to require a nice light jacket. Just not entirely sure of what to wear while I’m outside walking around. Ugh.


Besides I have no money for lunch to eat out. I’m out of money at the moment. Plus I’m just not keen on walking outside anywhere either. I’m broke enough to not afford lunch outside by myself. It sucks.


Also broke with fees to pay for. It sucks when Shakespir’ has me pay a fee for selling my writings online. It sucks when I can’t eat out for lunch. It sucks when I could bring food with me but I’m not sure of what to bring other than a plastic tin of carrots.


Ugh. It sucks when I’m not in the mood to go out for a walk today.


Just don’t want to walk around town or to my doctor’s appointment. Just don’t feel inclined to do it. Just feel sick in my stomach at the moment.


Anyway I’m not sure of what books to bring along with me to the doctor’s office. Ugh.


Well I’m still reading Marie’s book but not as often as I liked to. I’m also trying to finish Mairead’s book. I managed to read a page of that book yesterday while having the TV on. The TV wound up distracting me so a page of Mairead’s book was all I could manage.


Just not even sure of what book I’ll be in the mood to read when I’m at the doctor’s office. It depends on my mood when I get there. Ugh.


Also depends on whether I can eat out for lunch or not. I’m not entirely sure if I would want to eat out for lunch. It’ll be entertaining getting some books read while I’m outside eating in a restaurant. Ugh.


If I eat out for lunch I would have to eat at a restaurant that accepts other currently like checks and hands’ prints because I don’t have the money in my wallet. I spent it all on food at the school earlier this week. Ugh.


Besides I figured I’ll bring my e-reader with me and read True’s book when I get the chance to sit down and read. Also plan to bring Marie’s book including Mairead’s book. I figured I’ll carry Mairead’s book and just read that on the way to the doctor’s office for resting periods or during my walk.


Just might have to bring some food along with me if I feel inclined to do it. Depends on how I feel when it comes to carrying my lunch bag and Hamm’s book inside that thing. Ugh.


Don’t have much mews to add. Might as well go read a book and make up my mind despite debating on what journal to bring with me for writing notes at the doctor’s office.


I’m just depressed. Not entirely sure of what journal to bring with me to my appointment. I’m inclined to walk outside but not entirely sure if would wear layers. Ugh.


Also not entirely sure if would wear something like my sweater jacket or a t-shirt underneath my sweatshirt. Ugh.


Not entirely sure if I would want to go out for a walk today. I might just stay home instead of going out for a walk. It depends on how I feel when its time for me to take that walk.


Updated my blog on website. Didn’t copy what I typed in here. Mostly typed what I wanted then copied the entry onto my blog. I thought I would do that. It shouldn’t be a problem for me to do that updating I guess. Oh well.


I’m exhausted despite walking to my doctor’s office and back to home. Didn’t want to walk to my mental health doctor’s office today. Forced myself to walk to there.

Wound up whining “I’m being depressed this morning including I was feeling no motivation to walk to the office.” via written note to the doctor.


The schizophrenia attacked me while on the way to the office. Ugh. Also attacked me on the way home. Yuck.


I stopped by ABC restaurant to eat a lunch of food. Good thing I worked or walked it off. I wound up feeling sick enough to throw up after I ate my food. Had to walk it off so I could avoid throwing up for real. I walked pretty fast on the way to home.


Wound up with the schizophrenia attacking me on the way. I had to go onto the computer at home and read muse talk. Mostly read something to amuse myself for a bit to will aside the noise in my head. I also wound up really hot with sweatiness all over. Not entirely sure if I would want to do laundry today or not. Ugh.


I keep hoping to do laundry but I keep on putting off that chore for something else. Such as resting from being tired while out. Such as resting from being attacked while out walking home. Ugh. I meant to do laundry today but I’m not in the mood to do it yet. Perhaps I’ll change my mind and do that chore then. Ugh.


Just rather tired ugh. Also quite a bit on the tired side. I’m not even sure if it’s warm out or not. Oh well. I think it’s warm out enough to open a window but I don’t know. Humph.


My nose was leaking snot while on the walk home enough to feel like having a cold while walking. It sucked when that had to happen. Yuck. Also felt like my allergies were aggravated enough to act up including acting up the schizophrenia again. It sucked. Yuck.


I brought along “I’m Kicking!” by Mia Mairead with me via hand. I read that book while I was at the doctor’s office. Also read that book while waiting for food at ABC’s.


Mairead’s book is a rather nice book for me to read. I don’t mind reading Mairead’s book. I enjoy the contents enough to have fun reading the book. It’s rather nice reading Mairead’s book. I don’t mind when’s she’s obsessed talking about the sport of football than anything else. That sport of football used to be called soccer but the High Council insisted on the football name.

The sport is popular among Highlanders doing that sport that there’s a league for Highlanders to play called “United Manchester League of Highlanders.”

I think the High Council tried to get the name changed to “United High Council League of Highlanders” but Highlanders protested to that name change and went with the original name instead.

I’m not entirely sure of where’s the name of Manchester come from except it’s involving men and their chests something the Highlanders’ like to flaunt into the faces of females. Ugh. Must be the reason for that name. Oh well.


Baby cute kitten wound up hiding once I got home. She didn’t show herself around me once I got home. Dumb cat. Doesn’t get it at all. Dumb animal. Can’t she be more social with me home? Humph dumb cat and dumb animal. Oh well.


Tried to read more of the e-book “I’m not perfect while at the doctor’s office.

I felt like the schizophrenia was attacking me at the time. So I gave up reading that e-book and wound up reading Mairead’s autobiography book that seemed to be a self help book for women who can’t play football instead. I didn’t have any problems from the schizophrenia attacking me when I read Mairead’s book. I think the e-reader was aggravating me or something. Not entirely sure. Ugh.


Saw cute baby kitten sitting on top of my bed in a tummy sit’s position. Like she’s cute as she can be. Love that baby bundle of fur too much. She’s so cute! Love it when she tummy sits. Makes her back look pet able for me to rub my hand onto her furry back. She’s really cute when her tummy sits like that. I like it when she does sit like that. It’s cute of her to do that. I love that fur ball too much. She’s cute anyway.


Didn’t bring Marie’s book. Left that at home. Instead brought my e-reader in my purse. I was intending to read True’s book via e-reader form when I get the chance.


Also carried Mia Mairead’s book while on the walk to the doctor’s office. I even carried that book to ABC’s to eat lunch there then carried that book to home. Ugh.


At home and not entirely sure of what to do this afternoon other than typing onto the computer this journal entry. I haven’t bothered to open the window yet. I meant to but I’m not going to bother. I’m fine with the windows shut at the moment. Plus the sunlight ceased shining outside so it’s cloudy at the moment. Ugh. Not doing much for my mood to get outside to do laundry in the laundry’s room. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be in the mood to do that chore.


Right now I’m just too tired and exhausted from my walk. Plus slightly paranoid. I’m trying to shake off the schizophrenia’s attack. I managed to shake off the chanting but I’m still having paranoia aggravated. Yuck.


Managed to turn on the TV for a tabloid TV show for the one o’clock hour. Also aiming to watch TV till is when I’ll go onto HG and watch whatever is on that channel for awhile.


It sucked when I’m too lazy and too tired to bother doing laundry today. It sucks.


Also have to figure out what to wear for tomorrow. Perhaps something new involving clothes and undergarments including socks. Not entirely sure of that. Anyway it shouldn’t be a problem for me to try to wear something new so I can get my clothes washed and dried via laundry means.


I meant to do laundry at dads. Mostly haul it via grocery cart via wheelchair up to dad’s. I’m just too lazy to bother doing that hauling up to dads. His building is on a big hill and always wears me out once I reach his home. Including getting the schizophrenia acting up again when I’m walking up that hill. I just don’t feel inclined to walk up to that hill after an attack today twice hitting me. I aim to stay home and rest instead.


Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel inclined to do chores around here. Such as laundry. Including washing my towels and washing my clothes too.


It’s beginning to be summer soon. I think it’ll pretty much be t-shirt and shorts weather soon. I have to get out inventory of my t-shirts and shorts including seeing if I can fit into my shorts. I haven’t worn my shorts since last summer. Haven’t really tried them on in awhile. I think I’ve gained some weight as a result. It sucks.


Local news predicted summery like weather for next week when May rolls around. It shouldn’t be a problem for me to see what I can wear while I’m out and about town. Including while I’m out and about with Jane for outings of shopping and eating out too.


It’ll be fun I guess for me to dress up in something nice. I wouldn’t mind if I had somewhere to go to dress up nicely in. Plus someone to hang out with involving dressing up nice too.


Can’t wait for Jane to get off work at the school for the summer break so I can hang out with her. It’ll be fun hanging out with her and having fun dressing up nicely. I wouldn’t mind doing that.


The outings will be a good break to get away from the cutest cat ever. Just let the cutest cat do her thing while contained in my home. Mostly let her snooze herself off without worries about me snatching her up for hugs galore. I love to snatch the baby cat for hugs. She’s pretty much tolerant of those hug fests I throw her in. She’s really cute when she’s tolerant. Including cute enough to kitty kiss me on the face via tongue licking. Cute aw. What a cute cat!


Ugh. Trying to watch a talk show while typing onto the computer my thoughts down. Just something to do while I got the TV on running. Also something to do while I’m sick with my sicknesses involving the schizophrenia attacking me. Ugh.


The schizophrenia was attacking me a bit when’s I’m withdrawing from certain medications I take for headaches mostly from the Meritanians minds scanning me with jokes. Hence Jane is critical of my pill medication’s habits.

Jane said “You should watch what you take into your system the medicines or get that attack happening again. I suspect your regular medicines are playing games with the headache medicine your taking so talk to your doctor or pharmacist on that.”

I’m willing to follow through with Jane’s wording but I’m still unsure if I can avoid the headaches involving the medications I take whenever the Meritanians blare jokes into my mind. Ugh.


I wound up with a terrible headache once that kept me lying in bed for a whole day. I couldn’t do much despite baby cute kitten kept getting onto my front and purring her cute little motorboat off over and over. I guess the baby cat was concerned for me. I wound up discovering the schizophrenia voice talked when I tried to lie in bed from the headaches. I wound up going onto the computer and focused onto it when I withdrawn fully from the headache medication. I followed Jane’s advice and quit taking that medication despite the Meritanians’ minds scanning me felt slighted like pain but I’m used to it now.


Anyway my stomach is sort of upset at the moment. Not feeling too good either. I’m not feeling too well enough to get outside for another walk. I just prefer to stay home and type onto the computer for awhile. Maybe with the TV on blaring to talk shows including blaring onto HG channel when the time comes. Ugh my stomach is upset from the lack of headache medication I take hence I suspect that’s involving the bathroom but I’m not going to say into here what it is.


Well watching a talk show that featured the “Canada Brothers’” hosts. The hosts are twins Humans named Rain and Sky Rowland. Interesting I guess about those two. Their pretty wild and weird while on that talk show. It sucks when their weirdness have me turned off involving them. Yuck odd personalities for them.


Baby cute kitten hasn’t been social onto me when I got onto the computer. Instead she’s been lazily lying onto my bed snoozing and ignoring me sick. Dumb cat. Doesn’t get it that I want her comfort from me being sick. It sucks when she’s not in a comforting mood. Poor me poor kitty.


Sick as dratted ratted brats. “I meant it with that vulgarity. I don’t feel too good.


The schizophrenia has been noisy since I’ve gotten home. It’s sounding of gibberish now. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns into words. Yuck.


Well went to the doctor again for mental health issues.

I wrote a note to the doctor “What am I supposed to do with my Geodon pills and its dosages?”

I wasn’t sure what dosage I should be taking and I added “I think I’m suffering from a side effect from the mixed dosages.”

Whether its 80mg or 120mg. I’ve been taking 120mg for a few days since the nurse’s visit.


Anyway the doctor told me via writing “The dosage the correct one is 80mg.”

Ugh. Explains the noise in my head sounding loud again including me sick which is drugged withdrawal.


Anyway I’m just aiming to ignore the noise in my head and hope for the best tonight. If it gets to words I’ll just read my bible for awhile till someone responds to my text emails me for another phone call.

I wound up text emailed by Yana and wound up on the phone with her till she insisted “I got to go eat food.”

I got off the phone with Yana who indicated “I want another phone call tonight so I’ll text emails you when’s I’m done with dinner.”

Ugh sucks.

Also I wound up hot so I opened a window. Just to air out the apartment and help me cool down a bit. I’m not even sure if the closed stuffy apartment caused me to hear the noise in my head. Not entirely sure if its hotness or something else. Humph. Anyway I’m just hoping I can beat this noise and go to bed at a decent hour tonight. Maybe once it’s dark out I’ll go to bed.


Well seemed the hotness of the apartment caused the schizophrenia to blare loudly in my head. I opened a window. The noise is somewhat going down a bit. It’s tolerable at the moment. Just enough for me to hear my thoughts. Ugh.


Ugh another call with Yana meant I have to stay onto the cell phone waiting forever for another text email from her. Ugh sucks anyway.


I might have to go take a cold shower tonight if I can’t cool down from the noise and hot flashes I’m going to suffer tonight. It’ll be terrible for me to suffer from a hot flash tonight that turns into an attack of schizophrenia. I’m just hoping for the best anyway.


I’m just trying to type into here while watching world news on TV.

I gave up onto HG tonight because of that “House Hunters” program involving renovation for an hour long. I’m not even sure if I would be able to view the results of that program once it’s done. Hence I am watching world news. Ugh.


Also hoping that HG will air “Fixed Uppers” reruns for two hours just so I can concentrate onto the TV watching that while waiting forever for the schizophrenic’s voice to make up its mind on torturing me. Ugh again.


Well “Fixed Uppers” is on. Yay. At least I can relax tonight with the TV for awhile while watching HG.


Plus I’m nearly finished with the Soulers’ Soul booklet journal. I just have a few pages left and I’ll be starting a new journal the next day. I can’t wait for that. I got some ideas of what journal for me to start writing in newly. Just have to wait till tomorrow to see about that shit. Ugh.


Also think I might be in bed earlier than my eleven o’clock time frame. I think the noise in my head is beginning to turn to words. Ugh. I’m hearing some of that wordy status at the moment.


Just got my journal to finish then I got my bible to read while I wait for Yana’s text email for another phone call.

Merra asked me via saying “Sticky Vicky, what’s going on with your mood towards Yana when’s your obviously paired to Mindbender?”

I said in response “I love Yana like a sister I didn’t have like a family member.”
Merra wound up snickering in laughter in response then I wound up hearing “Sticky Vicky is in love with Yana!”

I said mentally “Only like a sister a family member like you Merra love Tank.”

Merra quit laughing and cut her talk out of my mind which I wound up hearing “Merra what’s with you and your attitude towards me?”

I heard the voice of Tank followed by Merra sounding grumpy “Ugh I do love you Tank but I found family love weird.”

Tank wound up going into a detailed boring explanation of family dynamics despite already knowing the answer to that family love weird comment then both Meritanians quit talking to me.


Yana text emailed me “Hi lovely possible thunderstorm call you tomorrow morning love you, Vikat, love and kisses Yana.”

Ugh she meant to text email that to Vikat her sexual partner but wound up texting this joke to me by mistake. Knowing Yana she refuses to talk on the phone when it’s thundering and lightening outside her home or anywhere in the city. It sucks. Well at least I get out of a phone call tonight.


Merra wound up broadcasting to me saying “What do you know of Yana and Vikat in question?”

I wound up saying “I think their friendship is more than just friends’ relationship.”

I didn’t know that Merra said her question via an ulterior motive courtesy of the High Council hoping to rope Yana into servitude. I discovered this fact when Merra transported me to the High Council with Yana and Vikat transported after both into a clutch position via lying down asleep. It took the High Council a bit to wake them both up via ringing noises that gave me headaches. The Falcons grabbed Vikat despite her waking up yowling like a cat and squirming into their arms. I discovered gorilla Tom restraining me from behind as I stood while Anubis restrained Yana.

The speakers spoke “You Yana will serve us with undivided loyalties or else Vikat will suffer misfortune.”

I heard the sarcasm of the speakers’ voice tone to find Yana in response speaking with sarcasm “You have my loyalty.”

I heard from Vikat in response saying “Meow loyalty is what I give.”

Vikat and Yana wound up both freed and transported out which I was still restrained by the gorilla as the High Council demanded to me “Your words of loyalty!”

“You have my loyalty.” I said with sarcasm.

I found the High Council didn’t care involving the words spoken with sarcasm as long as their spoken which the speakers said “Transport Victoria out!”


I found myself thrust my laptop and transported out to the Hall of Thousand Voices while hearing multiple voices speaking tale.

I discovered one voice loudly into my mind said “Come to me!”

It was like drawing me to go to that person who I found compulsion obeyed to walk to that person to their tube. I wound up seeing via tube a naked male with needles into his muscular form and his face was giving me a glare like I knew him somewhere.

I wasn’t sure who he was till he blared into my mind “Stop admiring my private, Victoria dear.”

I exhaled a breath recognizing the male as original to the cloned copies involving Mindbender and Jinks Montreal as Nikolai or Dalton he calls himself.

Nikolai in response spoke “Just sit and type.”

I obeyed while facing Nikolai despite hearing a loud voice sounding into my mind “Don’t turn your back to me!”

I wound up confused to that wording till Nikolai’s voice sounded again “Victoria adjust your position to off my left side now.”

I obeyed to find none of the tube figures indicated who said that back turned voice. I kept eyeing them but couldn’t figure out who said it. Ugh.


I wound up typing via laptop what I’ve eavesdropped till Merra blared into my mind “Enough of that typing ritual you should be back into your residence!”

I discovered myself back into my apartment dumped onto my bed. Ugh.


I wound up concentrate onto the TV airing “Fixed Uppers” reruns including this episode featuring a football star for women. I think she played for the Americanians because the nation only accepts women as football league players when it comes to playing football. The football playing for women is something the High Council is trying to squash despite resistance. I don’t think she was a good soccer star. I think she’s from the High Council’s national islands by what I remember of her and her looks of a Highlander playing football. Anyway I think she played in the Women’s soccer league that the USA had but cancelled off abruptly due to money issues. It sucks when that money issues turned out to be the High Council buying the league and canceling it to spite women. I think the High Council’s emphasized on men or males are too much according to me. Mostly from what I know of them balking on having Erra and Terra and Merra talk much and only leaving the talking to Tank and Ramses.

“Big mouth Meritanians!” I heard from the voice.

Here we go again involving the Meritanians eavesdropping and dumping me into the ocean in King Winter’s kingdom for the cold lord to talk to me. I’m feeling the Meritanians mind scanning me at the time including their sounds of disapproval.


I wound up missing the entire episode of the football star despite hoping to view reruns of it due to a Meritanian’s ocean dumping into King Winter’s Kingdom. I wound up online the internet and discovered the episode was downloaded there which I wound up watching with lack of captions.


I kind of like this episode because it’s featuring a football star including a coach for a University in Texas who is also her husband. It’s rather interesting episode. It makes me want to go to that University for college courses. I like Texas’ University from the looks of it from what I’ve seen on this Texas based TV series.


Journaling involved tore out the last few pages of a journal. Mostly Soulers Soul’s booklet journal. I meant to finish that thing entirely but I couldn’t stand writing into it anymore. So I tore out the last few pages. I aim to use those pages as notes for writing stuff down.

Soulers’ Soul’s journal had some quotes for each page but that quoted content made me think “The Soulers are trashing the High Council.”

Their sacred bible always trash the High Council finding that group a darkness while the Soulers’ themselves are an army of light. How annoying!


Just aim to use whatever I can think of to get my thoughts down journal wise. I like to write in journals from time to time. It’s great fun to do that. I don’t mind doing that journaling.


I do mind tearing out some pages of journals like the last pages of Soulers’ Soul booklet journal. I guess I made that thing not worth anything because of the last pages torn out. It sucks when I do that. Anyway I was too impatient to finish that journal. Didn’t want to write drivel in it. Pretty much preferred to tear out the last pages and consider it done.


Ugh have a journal for teenagers I meant to finish writing drivel into it and toss out when I get the chance. I just have to see about using that journal tonight if I feel inclined to write in something.


Also get off the computer before I lose electricity. I think tonight is going to be stormy quite a bit. Might cause some power outages. Ugh not safe for me to type onto the computer during that weather. Yuck.


I think it’s hitting people’s neck of the woods in the city hence people I tried to phone balked out of phoning tonight I don’t have to worry about phoning my family or people I care about tonight. I can avoid being stressed out via waiting forever for their texts emails phone wise.


Also I can concentrate onto the TV while figuring out what journal to use and write with.


I got a journal in my purse I picked today. It’s just a small spiral bound notebook I picked to bring with me while out walking. I was two thirds through Soulers’ Soul journal so I didn’t bring that. I didn’t want to finish that journal while out walking. Then moan and bitch not having a journal to write with while I’m out walking.


Anyway Veronica Thomas Incorporation emailed me via email saying “We like your recordings of your life to be public for our publishing via your online journal’s posts. Please type journaling of your life and submit to us for publication of the incorporation.”

I wound up obeying and editing and typing what I could think involving one monthly journal entry into the computer I have yet to post online. I doubt I would do that posting anyway.

Also I emailed the Veronica Thomas Incorporation “I’ve finished a monthly entry which I’m emailing you.”

They wound up further emailing me “Please edit for run on sentences and grammar issues.”

I obeyed and wound up resubmitting another of my monthly journal entries and wound up emailed back “Your entries have been accepted for publication.”

Yay for me!


End Journal.

Diary of a mad woman

Mad Woman’s thoughts of as thought them down via typing onto the laptop. This is the journalistic entries of one clone named Victoria Montreal Thunder with a mental illness and detailing her life having that medical ailment and living on planet Aire.

  • ISBN: 9781370178063
  • Author: Beth Hoyer
  • Published: 2017-09-09 00:20:13
  • Words: 69511
Diary of a mad woman Diary of a mad woman