Ebooks   ➡  Fiction  ➡  Parody

Author Vs Character



Copyright 2017 ANDREMWANSA



This eBook is a work of fiction, any resemblance to actual people living, dead or in between is pure coincidence.



No offence, it’s just a laugh out loud production…..

Author: In a coma, lying in the hospital bed is Bryan. He’s been in this state for two weeks now but today he kicks the bucket.

Character: I look around looking for a bucket I might have kicked but can’t find any. I look around again and realize that it must be an error from the author.

Author: What! I make no error. Your life was just so empty, that you didn’t have a bucket to fill you fool. I’m only writing this down to let the reader aware of what’s happening.

Character: Can that be true? My life so empty leaving me with no bucket to fill and kick? Then it occurs to me that the author has made another error. If I have no bucket to kick, then I shouldn’t die, right?

Author: Oh, a few minutes before Bryans death. Katarina his wife had walked in the room with Angela their only daughter.

Katarina stoops down and gives Bryan a kiss on the lips, sending some sensation through his spine that triggers his libido…

Character: What! I’m in a coma for Christ sake, I can’t be getting erections….

Author: Bryan can do nothing but hope his daughter doesn’t notice the bulge on his trousers. It reminds him of the reason he married Katarina in the first place.

Character: At least you got that one right… more than anything I couldn’t wait to have it all with Katarina. You know the long time nonsense (no sex before marriage).

Author: Although Bryan can’t see, he can hear. He hears Katarina telling him how their daughter has made it to be a doctor but he can only regret that he’s not going to be there for her, he can’t even give her a hug right now. He curses and regrets not listening to her when she was warning him of the dangers of excess smoking, now he faces his actions.

A tear drops from his eyes, if only he could live and mend yesterday…. Take more risks and not the ones of smoking. He tries to think of his biography, what he has accomplished, how will he be remembered, maybe his life was too empty after all.

Character: I did leave a child you son of a……

Author: Death grips him at his throat, forcing back the bastardly, nasty words he was about to spit. His eyes bulge out as he takes his last breath. Katarina runs, crying, calling for the doctor’s help. His daughter weeps as well, she can only imagine how her life is going to be without her selfish dad. She’s now crying out loud as she realizes that she’s no longer going to see him in her life time nor will her children, she shakes him to wake up, yelling at him not to give up on them.

The doctor walks in, telling her to step aside as he measures his heartbeat. The doctor shook his head announcing Bryan dead.

Bryan now thinks to himself: I was raised a Christian – I admit I fell away a bit along my journey- and I believe that we’re stuck with what we have, but that’s all right, in Gods eyes, none of us are really much more than flies on strings and all that matters is how much sunshine you can spread along your way. He sobs realizing he didn’t spread any light along his way…

Character: What! Those ain’t my thoughts, I’m not even a Christian, you’re only saying this to make this whole fiction, four-smelling, stupid story interesting….

Author: Shut up! I’m trying to send a message here…

Character: What message are you trying to send you crummy, lousy, rotten bum, buttocks, pink fart….fuc….. Dirty bitc….Pea-cock…. If I was to tell them what you do in the….

Author: Bryan loses his soul.


Notice from the author: Sorry, couldn’t finish the story because of Bryan’s vulgar behavior….. I hope his soul rests in peace.

The end.

Please care to leave a review if you enjoyed this short story…..

Author Vs Character

  • ISBN: 9781370699094
  • Author: Andre' Mwansa
  • Published: 2017-03-15 04:50:09
  • Words: 716
Author Vs Character Author Vs Character