Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil


Muneeza Danial Chevalier

Copyright © 2017

Muneeza Danial Chevalier




To fall in love is acceptable but to fall in love with an anomaly. The world, society and even his family are against this unique love. How far and how long will his quest for love be? Join Harman and Soumya in this one of a kind love story.


Table of Contents


Table of Contents

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Chapter 1

Ek chehra jo dil main hai 

Soumya decided, at last, to run away from Singh household. She believed she was the reason for Harman’s problems and wanted him to be free of her. Harman who had been looking for her watched her sprint away in the silent night. A lone figure on the deserted roads of Gurdaspur. Unable to see her scared and alone, deserting the one abode where she could remain safe he followed her on foot.


At some point, Soumya tired and exhausted sat on the road side while Harman approached her tentatively.


Harman: “Bhag liya ya abhi aur baaki hai?”


Soumya was startled to see him so close. She stood up to run away again but Harman held her wrist making her look at him in surprise.


Soumya: “Jaaney dijiye mujhey Harman jee.”


Harman: “Kahan jaogi tum? Aur kis liye?”


Soumya who was terribly overwhelmed started crying. Her tears dripping on Harman’s hands making him madder. How could he tell her he hated tears in her eyes. Her beautiful face was like a full moon on dark nights. It spread love and light to all, never differentiating between friend or foe.


Soumya: “Aap meri wajah sey itney dukhi hain. Sab gharwaley aap sey naaraz hain.Aapki shadi bhi tut gayi meri wajah sey, main chali jaungi to sab theek ho jayega.”


Harman: “Tum samajh kyun nahin rahi Soumya, ab Mummyjee iss duniya main nahin raheen, aur mainey unsey tumhara rakshak banney ka vaada kiya hai.”

Soumya: “Vaadey to tor bhi saktey hain, aap bhuul jayyiye yeh vaada, nahin huun main aapki zimmedaari. Aapki zimmedaari mummyjee aur papajee hain.”


She continued to sob softly: “Aur ab Mahi bhi”


Harman stood shocked letting go of her wrist.


Harman: “In sab zimmedaarion key ilawa eik aur zimmedaari hai meri, meri dost ki, tumhari.”


Soumya dared to gaze at him sadly, “Kyun?”


Harman was momentarily speechless, he realized he exercised no right on her. He couldn’t keep her tied to him on a whim. How could they survive in a conniving atmosphere, where all in his family were against him and his friendship with her. He would have to let her go if he wanted her happy but then would he himself be happy without her?


Soumya: “Yeh dosti khatam ho jaye yehi behter hai,” she put the last nail in the coffin of their friendship and turned to walk away.


Harman was left dealing with his emotions, confused at why he couldn’t let go of her if she indeed was just a friend.


Chapter 2

Ab naam mohabbat ke ilzaam to aaya hai.


Harman stood in the balcony pondering on the events of the day, Preeto had a nervous breakdown. The doctor had administered her a sedative. He could hear Mahi tearing down her clothes from his wardrobe, her dreams had been dashed, she was angry and rightfully so. He could hear her cursing Soumya, the word Kinnar predominant.


He smiled ruefully looking at the full moon the only witness to his depth of concern and hurt for Soumya. He had caught her again today trying to run away, had shouted at her and regretted every word he had uttered. He had seen the pain in her eyes, the shattering of a million dreams and that heart of hers. A tear had escaped his eyes, her suffering killed him each day. The way she clung to him, the way her eyes widened when he wasn’t around. Her honey tresses, her innocent eyes and her unwavering trust in him. How could he for simple pleasures of the flesh disown her?


Why was it that when she cried his heart cried, when her eyes searched him his hand pursued hers? Why did Mahi’s appearance and now departure not bother him? Harman Harak Singh these were questions he had to find answers to. His life alone was not on the line her’s was bound to him. Regardless of what the society said, thought or wanted. Regardless of his parents and his responsibility to produce heirs his biggest responsibility was to her. She owned him, she belonged to him. His closed fists had relaxed he had to tell her, he had to.

Soumya sat clutching Harman’s sweater to her heart, the last remnant of the one being who was her heart. She had cried for so long that tears refused to entertain her eyes anymore. Her shivering hands had gripped the fabric breathing it deeply. It belonged to him, her Harman, the Harman she had married, who in all actuality belonged to her. But did the society allow this… No. She couldn’t attain him. Somewhere far away someone had been listening to music the faint notes of a heart wrenching song could be heard.


“Jo paar humain kerta usney hee rulaya hai.

Kya pyaar main socha tha kiya pyaar main paaya hai.”


Rightfully so she thought closing her tired eyes when she heard him. Her heart beat accelerated. Was he angry again? Had he finally decided to get rid of her? Had his mother succeeded in changing his mind? She was too tired to lift her bent head. Let it end she thought in defeat.


“Tum jo bhi humain samjho per tumko sada saraheingey hum.

Beygunaah jo humain thehrayein lafz aisey kahan paaiyengey hum.

Umeed na thi iski jo saamney aaya hai.

Tum jo bhi saza dey do sar hum ney jhukaya hai.”


“Soumya,” he called out. His voice barely audible and she had against her better judgement looked up to see him stand before her. She had not uttered a single syllable but her eyes asked him all the questions. He noticed she sat on the floor, in this cold, oblivious to her physical discomfiture. Her eyes were red veined gazing at him. What was it that he saw in them love, regret, pain? His sweater was in her hold, he had taken a seat near her.


Soumya: “Aap uper beth jaaiye aapko thand lag jayegi jee.”

Harman: “Tum bhi to yahin ho.”

Soumya: “Meri fiker mat kijiye per aap…” she would’ve continued in the same strain but he placed his hand over her mouth, silencing her tenderly.

Harman: “Kuch mat bolna please, sirf sunna,” he pleaded.


She nodded her head in consent, how could she not. He was after all her one, true, love.


Harman took her hands in his own. “Kiya tum …” he stopped midway staring at her unwavering gaze. Soumya tightened her grip on his hands, he noticed they were shivering.

Harman: “Pareshan ho?” she nodded. “Hona bhi chahiye, main ney kitna sataya na tumhain, meri wajah se…” he laughed sorrowfully. “Main kiya kerun Soumya…?”

Soumya: “Mujhey jaaney dijye sab theek ho jayega” she whispered in dejection.

Harman: “Kiya theek hoga?” he watched her through wet eyes.



Soumya touched his face with love. “Kuch to sukoon mileyga na, aisey to nahin raheingey… mujhey chor dijiye Harman jee.” Tears have finally found a home in her eyes.

Harman: “Tum meri zimmedaari” she cut him.

Soumya: “Nahin huun… aapki zimmedaari, nahin huun Harman jee, bas bojh huun aur bojh sey chutkara haasil kiya jaata hai dhoya nahin jaata” she tried to withdraw her hand yet he didn’t relent.

Harman: “Please aisa mat kaho” he cried out agonized by her harsh words.

Soumya: “To phir kiya kahun aap hee bataiye na, kis rishtey sey rahun. Aapki patni………”

She stopped, stifling her sobs; it was too painful to remember her relationship with him. She tried to get up again when he pulled her nearer.


Harman: “Patni ho, thi aur rahogee.”

She stared at him in confusion. “Aap” she started yet could not continue letting his declaration sink in.


His eyes were blood shot, tired. “Mat jaao Soumya mujhey chor ker, merey bas main nahin ab, yun tumsey duur rehna, tumhain dhundtey dhundtey thak gaya huun.” A tear fell from his eye on her palm and she studied it unhappily.

Soumya: “Aap kiya keh rahey hain? Main yahin to hun.” She was extremely hurt to see him in pain. “Main yahin hun” she whispered her hand wiped the other tear from his eye. “Kahin nahin jaungi jab tak aap khud” she stopped still skeptical and removed her hand from his face.

Harman: “Hamesha ke liye…rahogi?”


Soumya: “Kis rishtey sey?”

Harman: “Pyaar key rishtey sey jo tumko mujh sey hai.” He touched her arm, tracing his tatooed name on it. “Jo mujhko tumsey hai, pehli nazar sey, pehley lamhey sey uss pehli dhadkan sey jo tumko dekhkar dhadki thi.Uss pehley sapney sey jo tumhain leykar dekha tha.”


Soumya: “Sapney jo sach nahin ho saktey,” she wispered softly and she felt his arms wrap around her, cocooning her in a warm embrace. Their first proper hug making her weep in his arms. The world was cruel and she couldn’t bear to see him broken. How many times would he break for her?


Harman: “Shayad har sapna nahin per tumhain paaney ka sapna jo mainey dekha tha woh ab pura hoga, tum meri ho, jaisi bhi ho, jo bhi ho meri ho. Ho na Gulabo?” he asked softly.


She looked at his face love shining on it and whispered gently. “Aap hee ki to thi… hamesha se”

Soumya: “Mummyjee sey kiya kaheingey?” she inquired worriedly.

Harman began singing with the faint musical chords “Ab naam muhabbat key ilzaam to aaya hai. Tum jo bhi saza dey do sar hum ney jhukaya hai.” He touched her face making her smile and hesitantly kissed her velvet lips.

To hell with the world, they were going to write a new chapter in history with their love.

Chapter 3


Yeh Ishq Nahin Aasan Bas Itna Samajh Lijiye

[*Ik Aag Ka Dariya Hai Aur Doob Key Jaana Hai. *]


It had been a tedious couple of weeks for Harman and Soumya. Ever since his decision to house Soumya had been announced by him the family had gone berserk. Preeto in a fit of rage had taken to demolishing everything in her way. Unable to sway Harman from his iron resolve to keep Soumya permanently in Singh Mansion she had taken to destroying the household objects. Finally her wrath had reached its crescendo when she had tried to light herself on fire. 


Harman with no other option left had put the knife on his wrist and threatened to cut his nerve. Preeto who had been adamant screaming at him to have lost all his bearings after his heart had considered it a bluff. Harman had then gone ahead with his threat turning it into a reality shocking the family specifically his mother who had given in defeated by her own flesh and blood. His act had left Soumya shaken, she had never in her wildest dreams considered the situation to come such dire straits. After his heart felt confession of love the previous night she had for a fleeting moment entertained the idea of living her entire life with him but that seemed impossible now. 


She sat in their bedroom, tears running down her cheeks blurring her vision. She had tried her level best to leave but Harman would not let her. Even after Preeto had pleaded her to. How could she tell Preeto that she had nowhere to go. That her heart beat for Harman and for Harman alone. Contemplating on the new phases of her life she was lost in her thoughts when she saw Harman bring a tray with breakfast and running up to him took it from his hands.


“Kiya ker rahey hain aapko chot lagi hai na” she chided him. 

Setting the tray on the low table she attended his cut wrist, blood oozing out of it. 

“Please chaliye doctor key paas..please,” she pleaded folding her hands in front of him. She could not bear his pain, a part of her died every time she saw him fight the world for her. Harman observed her sadly, he did not know what to do at this point. His heart would not allow him to see her belittled by his family. Ridiculed because of a flaw that she herself was unable to correct. Why was it that the weak got crushed by the unrelenting norms set by a heartless society.


“Chaltey hain,” he conceded holding her hands. “Pehley naashta” he smiled observing her eyes light up. Making her sit on the bed Harman moved the tray closer and proceeded to tear a bite of the paratha. Folding it he held it close to her mouth but she refused. 

“Pehley aap khaiye,” she said and he shook his head in the negative. 

“Pehley tum.” 

“Per chot to aapko lagi hai na” she was still heartbroken over his pain. He sighed deeply. How was it that he could find neither his mother nor Soumya at fault yet here they were with both the women pitted against each other, yearning for his love and happiness.


Soumya broke off bits of the paratha and now fed him, love illuminating her red rimmed eyes. Simple wishes for a simple soul. She had sipped the tea in reverence the mere fact that Harman himself had made it for her made it all the more valuable. If it were possible she probably would’ve kept the cup of tea intact till eternity. Harman knew this, the reason he monitored her intake of the food. After breakfast he drove her to the hospital, he didn’t want to leave her at home alone, afraid of Preeto’s ire. It still wasn’t safe for her.


The doctor stitched the wound which thankfully wasn’t deep and bandaged it. “Aapko eik do din dhyaan dena hoga, dekiyega patti geeli na ho” he instructed a mute Harman and a sorrowful Soumya. 

“Kuch dawai…” Soumya asked hesitantly which made the doctor jot down a few prescriptions. While exiting the hospital grounds Harman ran into his best friend Aryan Khanna who had returned to India with his wife on leave for a couple of days. 


“Arey Harman tuu yahan!” He was pleasantly surprised when he came to know of Harman’s marriage and complimented Soumya making her blush. 

Aryan and Harman had been best buddies since childhood sharing everything under the sun. They had studied together, chased the same girls, had their first cigarette together and so on. Evading his prying questions Harman tried to leave but Aryan had him cornered. Ushering them to his house where he currently lived with his parents and wife.

Even though Harman and Soumya smiled and chatted Aryan knew it was all perfunctory. He could gauge the anguish jumping off of Harman and the harried expressions Soumya was unsuccessfully trying to conceal. Something somewhere was definitely wrong and to a grave extent. Aryan was a seasoned doctor and had noticed Harman’s wound. 

“Yeh ghaav kaisa Harman?” he questioned him and Harman turned his hand away from him. 

“Ab chaltey hain Aryan der ho rahi hai,” he avoided answering making Aryan more suspicious. 

“Theek hai per sham ko milna mujhsey” he was adamant. 

“Ho nahin paayega yaar busy hoon.” Harman’s eyes were now resting on a melancholic Soumya whose own eyes teared up understanding his trepidation on leaving her alone at home. He was afraid of losing her and she knew that all too well. 

“Chaley jayeiga na” she implored. Was he to have no life on her account. What a bad omen she was, her father had been right she could never bring happiness just ruin. Her teary eyes had Harman entranced. How he loved her, how could he say no? Turning to Aryan he asserted on the condition of Soumya accompanying him to which Aryan had readily obliged.


That evening Harman drove Soumya to Aryan’s farmhouse. Situated a few acres inland from the main city it was a slice of heaven nestled amidst tall trees and acres of farmland. The first heartwarming smile appeared on Soumya’s face observing her surroundings making Harman’s grin grow wider. Aryan proved to be a great host, his wife Suhana was a gynecologist, they had both met while completing their residency at Charing Cross London Hospital and were now working full time there. 

The evening was pleasant and for once Harman was not fretting for Soumya. He could see from his vantage point in the open lawns how Soumya talked animatedly with Suhana bonding over Nimmi’s special kheer recipe. It had been weeks maybe months since he had witnessed Soumya truly happy like she was in this moment. Free of the burgeoning guilt of having ruined his life. This was how he had always wanted his Gulabo content with a shy smile on her lips. His Gulabo, he thought ignorant of Aryan’s conversation.

“Buhut pyaar kertey ho Bhabhi sey Harman?” Aryan asked watching his friend lost in his wife’s visage. 

“Haan” Harman asserted absentmindedly, his mind flitting to the orange saari Soumya had draped that evening on his insistence. 

“Koi baat hai kiya Harman tu aur Bhabhi itna pareshaan kyun they thori der pehley.” Aryan was adamant on finding the truth behind Harman’s discomfiture. 

“Bas yunhi” Harman evaded the topic but Aryan did not yield causing Harman to spill the beans. Moreover, Harman had never been ashamed of Soumya. He had always wanted the world to know her identity but had been stopped first by Nimmi and then by the thought of his parents reputation in the society. He himself gave a damn to society, it could not rule Harman Harak Singh’s heart because it was ruled by the amazing creature he had married.

“Hmm” Aryan pondered. “To ab?” He inquired of a restless Harman who in turn had confided in him. His fears of Soumya being ostracized by his parents and the society.  His family harming her in any way and of the of the predominant fear of her being snatched away from him. 

“In sab ka to eik hee hal hai merey yaar” Aryan explained to Harman the options he had in this regard and Harman stared at him open mouthed. Was it possible that the Soumya he loved with all his heart could be everything to him? Could luck be so kind to them? If it were all true he had to act and act real fast. The rest of the evening Harman planned the next course of action with Aryan. If he had a shot at this, well he would all he could to do it. Come what may he was not going to let Soumya leave his side ever again.

Chapter 4


Yeh aarzoo hai keh dekhey yeh duniya. Hum jaisa koi deewana hee nahin.


Aryan had informed Harman on the possibility of Soumya being treated medically. The trend hadn’t caught up in India yet but was common in the western countries where people due to various reasons had gender assignment operations. He had been clear to Harman about it being an expensive and thorny path but to Harman it had been a ray of light in his otherwise bleak existence. Maybe if God was smiling they might actually be able to live like man and wife. 

The thought alone gave him great joy; he though decided to talk to Soumya regarding this matter. She had every right to reject this notion; after all, she would be the one going under the knife. More so he did not want to make decisions for her. It was time she started doing that for herself. Their ride back home was pleasant and filled with cheerful chatter, something Harman missed immensely.

It was a relief in itself that the family had gone to bed and they quietly made their way to their own bedroom. It hurt Soumya to think that Harman had to resort to such secrecy on her account. Nonetheless, she was happy that she got to spend quality time with him. Having changed she reached the bed to find him deep in thought.

Soumya: “Aap soye nahin?” Concern was evident in her eyes.

Harman: “Tumhara intezaar ker raha tha” he smiled.

Soumya: “Aap kiya soch rahey hain? Gaari main bhi soch rahey they… Mummyjee key baarey main?”

He noticed the mention of his mother set her nerves on edge. It only meant that Preeto had successfully implanted fear in Soumya’s heart and mind regarding herself. Harman pulled her in his arms settling her on the mattress beside him. Taking her fingers to his lips he kissed them softly.

Harman: “Nahin tumharey baarey main” he informed her making her look at him in surprise.

Soumya: “Koi baat hui hai kiya?” she was terribly afraid now.

Harman: “Nahin baba har baat jo main sochta huun pareshaani ki nahin hoti.” He cradled her running his fingers against her smooth cheek. He noticed she had calmed and watched him inquisitively. “Agar aaj main tumsey kuch maangun Soumya…” he looked at her, doubtful on asking her to make such a sacrifice for him.

Soumya: “Harman jee aap mujhey dara rahey hain” her heart started running a mile a minute. Why was he hesitant to finish his thoughts, was it something of grave portent. Taking his hand in her own she tried to move away when he stalled her, gently pulling her back to him.

Harman: “Soumya main chahta huun hum doctor sey tumhara checkup kerwa lein. Aryan keh raha tha chances hain keh tum theek… mera matlab hai… Pata nahin lekin jaana chahiye” he was frustrated now. Why couldn’t he just speak his mind to her? Why was it that when she gazed at him through her hazel pools he felt lost, his conversations blank? Soumya could gauge his trepidation and laid his hand on her heart.

Soumya: “Aap jo kehna chahte hain woh bol dijiye main sun rahi hun” she encouraged him and turned her face to him. She was so giving it melted his heart.

Harman: “Soumya ho sakta hai tumharey ilaaj sey hum waisey reh sakein jaisey pati patni rehtey hain.” 

He broke the news to her gently observing her eyes go wide in astonishment. Did she even know what a sexual relationship pertained to he wondered. He sighed then. Aryan was right this was going to be a very thorny path to tread. Not that his mission to love and then to save her had been a cakewalk. He alone knew the affliction her separation and subsequent disappearance had caused him and he did not want that imposed on either of them again. He simply had to know the extent of her genital malformation only then could they chalk out their next course of action.

She stared him speechless, what did he mean by that. Live like man and wife. Like the way Kalsi lived with her husband. She did not have the slightest inkling of what a full-fledged sexual relationship referred to but her heart beat fast every time Harman touched her. Her cheeks reddened with his intense gazes. Was it possible there was more than just laying with him. Her silence had him perturbed. It was like watching a child figure out how to use the Abacus the first time, and it was killing him.



Harman: “Soumya kuch to bolo!”

Soumya: “Pati patni ki tarah matlab? Jaisey hum abhi rehtey hain?” she needed to know what was on his mind. She could read the emotions writ large on his handsome features pain, excitement, fear. “Kahiye na” she pleaded and had felt his hold on her grow tighter.

Harman: “Shayad bata nahin paaunga” he whispered. 

“Per dikha sakta huun.” He tenderly cupped her face in his hands planting copious kisses on her beauteous face. His lips travelled a fiery path from her eyes to her pert nose. Hovering slightly over her velvet lips he claimed them as his own. He felt her tremble yet did not let go. His mouth increasing the pressure on hers making her gasp, allowing him to taste her sweetness. He did not stop rather drew her in to him burning hot kisses on her collarbone and exposed neck. He could feel her stiffen in his hold, he understood she needed room and had let go of her. He noticed she grasped his kurta, her face depicting her raw sensations. Her colored cheeks, her glazed eyes, and that confused expression. 

“Aur buhut kuch” he stated placidly distancing himself from her. Yet his heart thudded wildly in his chest. He had breathed heavily just touching her made him go so wild how was he to maintain distance from her at this rate.

Soumya who was transfixed by Harman’s electrifying touch on her body sat stunned, what was it that she felt…? Was that what women sensed when their husbands touched them with such passion. Was this what Harman wanted from her, a right over her body? Part of her wanted to dance and sing in happiness that her husband desired her. That in spite of her gender his love for her was ready to overlook all those flaws. Harman left the bed and stood near the open windows looking at the empty sky. His raging longings having somewhat reined he closed his eyes. The anxiety in Soumya’s eyes hadn’t escaped him and he wasn’t sure if she wanted him at all. His trained ears picked up the rustle of the bedspread and the shuffle of her feet. He could hear her breathing near him probably trying to broach him making him smile at her innocence.

Soumya: “Harman jee” she called him yet he remained unfazed. Had she somehow upset him, the thought alone was gut wrenching. 

“Harman jee” she called out again and when he still hadn’t acknowledged her she gently touched his arm. 

“Please baat kijiye mujh se.” She couldn’t bear him distraught with her, her eyes shining with unshed tears and he had given in. His arms folded over his chest he turned around to look at her.

Harman: “Kiya kahun? Kehna to tumko haina,” he reminded her softly.

Soumya: “Aap jo kaheingey main kerney ko tayyar huun,” she assented to his wishes head bent, tears shining on her wet cheeks.

Harman: “Tum jaanti ho na tumharey aansu mujhey dard detey hain.”

Soumya: “Sorry,” she hurriedly wiped her tears twisting her fingers in misery.

Harman observed her flushed face and rapid blinking. Was she agreeing because of him or did she really want to take their relationship to the next level? Holding her hands in his he asked her the same in answer to which she had taken a step forward and rested her head on his chest; fitting in his arms as if she had always meant to be there.

Soumya: “Main aap sey duur nahin reh sakti Harman jee, main aap sey… main aap sey buhut pyaar kerti hun. Mujhey yaqeen hai aap jo bhi kareingey merey liye acha hoga” her faith in him astounded him.

Harman: “Per Soumya ho sakta hai tumhain surgery kerwana parey… meri wajah sey tumhain takleef ho yeh main kaisey sahunga?” The latter part was self-conversation making Soumya smile through her tears.

Soumya:“Koi bhi takleef uss takleef sey to zyada nahin hogi jo mujhey aapsey duur rehney per hoti hai Harman jee,” she bared her heart to him. She was sobbing now, her fingers resting on his kurta and he felt it soak with her tears.

Breaking their hug he wiped away her tears. “Soumya agar aaisey rogi to yeh nahin ho paayega mujhse.Pata nahin doctor kiya kaheyga, pata nahin kitna waqt lageyga?” 

He would’ve filled her in with more of his apprehensions but she had shaken her head stopping his train of thought. Her eyes shone and her lips formed a soft smile indicating her shy consent.

Soumya: “Aap hongey na merey saath Harman jee?” That one answer would seal the deal for her; if he was with her she could die and still not regret it.

Harman: “Hamesha!” he whispered crushing her to him, she was his and his she would remain.











Chapter 5


Rooh ki ik Rubaayi tuu, raat din main parhun, raat din main parhun.

Bin terey naa sakun miley, tuu bata kiya kerun, tuu bata kiya kerun.

Harman being convinced by Soumya that she would indeed go through the necessary medical treatment to help further their relationship had contacted Aryan for the procedural issues. He, however, was dubious on having her treatment done in India. Even though there were doctors who could perform the necessary he wanted distance between him and his family. He knew it would be both an emotional and physical strain on Soumya and decided to get her operated in London. They both needed time away from home for her to recover speedily and fully. 

It was decided that Aryan would contact his colleague Melinda Baker a renowned Specialist in Gender Therapy and care. Since Harman and Harak Singh (his father) shared bank accounts it wasn’t a problem for him to pay for their visa and airline expenses. It was stressful for Harman to tag Soumya along with him everywhere but he had no choice in the matter. Preeto’s wrath towards her grew day by day. His increased efforts to protect her from his family were now being labeled as insanity by his parents who failed to see beyond Soumya’s physical flaws.

It would break Soumya’s heart every time he would stand up for her against his mother. She knew too well that Preeto was not the villain here. She was a mother and all mothers are fiercely protective of their offspring. 

One such exhausted evening Harman was laying on the bed. His head in her lap while she ran her fingers through his silken hair lulling him to a comfortable sleep when the door to their bedroom had flown open. Soumya’s startled movement awoke Harman who was surprised to see his mother agitated for no reason at all. In truth, Raavi who had been spying on Harman the night before had witnessed the close bond Soumya and Harman had established.  That too a physical one much to Raavi’s surprise and Preeto’s chagrin. Preeto had no idea that Harman had decided on bedding her too. That in her opinion was intolerable the last thing she wanted was her son to turn to unnatural means for satisfying his sexual urges.

Preeto: “Acha to ab yeh bhi honey laga hai iss ghar main” she was seething.

Soumya wanted to run off the bed but Harman clasped her wrist imprisoning it in his strong palm. 

“Chup chaap yahin bethi raho” he glowered at her through red-rimmed eyes. 

“Per, Mummy jee,” Soumya was close to tears. 

“Ssshhh!” Harman put a finger to his lips indicating her to remain silent, getting off the mattress himself.

Harman: “Kiya ho raha hai, mujhey bhi to pata chaley. Aisa konsa naya toofan aa gaya ab iss ghar main?” He was extremely irked with his mother’s irrational attitude towards Soumya. It appeared as if Soumya was vermin that she wanted to get rid of immediately.

Preeto: “Iss Kinnar key saath ab tuu gulcharrey uraayega aur tuu kiya chahta hai main aankh band kerkey yeh sab tamasha dekhti rahun. Andhi huun main, dikhayi nahin deta mujhey ya sunayi nahin deta.Jo tuu ker raha hai uss sey iss ghar ki, iss khandaan ki izzat mitti main mil rahi hai.” She was screeching, her voice threatening to bring the house down.

Soumya started shivering. She had no idea being close to her husband would have such terrible consequences. Her mother in law was leaving no opportunity to humiliate her and throw her out of her house. At times Soumya wondered what would be her fate if Harman hadn’t been the wonderful human being that he was, protective and loving. Right now too Preeto stood glaring her, her hand raised, face ashen.

Harman: “Gulcharrey wah!!” Harman clapped his hands in mock applaud. “Gulcharrey jab hotey jab teri baatein sach hoteen. Apni patni key saath waqt bitana gulcharrey urana nahin kehlata” he corrected his mother shielding Soumya from her flagrant fury.

Preeto: “Oh acha to patni hai yeh teri. Shabash eik kinnar key liye ab terey dil main pyaar umad raha hai kal ko kaheyga iss key saath suhag raat bhi manani hai.” She was livid and would not relent.

By now the rest of the family due to the hue and cry graced them with their presence too.

Harman: “Very good, sab aa gaye tamasha dekhney, koi baaqi to nahin raha na. Jaa Preeto padosiyon ko bhi bula laa. Aur haan ab jab sab aa hii gaye ho to eik baat main bata deta huun. Soumya meri biwi hai, shaadi ki hai mainey issey, apni marzi sey nahin.” His anger was escalating with each statement. “Bandooq ki nok per, bhaga ker nahin laaya issey main saat pherey liye hain iskey saath.Saat janmon ka vachan diya hai pyaar ka vishwaas ka aur iski raksha ka.” His monolog stumped not only Preeto but the rest of the family too. True they had suspected him to harbor feelings more than friendship for Soumya but to declare them with such vehemence was something very new for all. 

“Harman” Preeto crumbled to the floor her worst fears were coming true.

Bending down Harman tried to pick her up when he was stopped by Harak Singh.

Harak: “Hath na lagayeen meri voti nuu,” he threatened Harman pushing him away furiously. “Tuu bhul gaya eyy teri maa eyy, iss kinnar key vaastey.” Tears were shining in his eyes while Preeto sat stoned, having lost all hope in ever retrieving her son back from Soumya.

Harman: “Main nahin bhula Preeto meri maa hai aur aap merey bauji per main yeh bhi nahin bhula keh Soumya meri patni hai. Main issey ilaaj key liye London ley jaa raha huun. Kiya ho payega mujhey nahin pata lekin jo bhi ho main dusri shadi nahin kerunga. Soumya key saath hii rahunga saari umar.” His tone was final, he turned to watch Soumya cry mutely. Her lovely face wet with tears, her hand covering her mouth in an attempt to remain silent. How could one not love someone as innocent as her, every fiber in his body treasured her.

Harman: “Main tujh sey yeh vaada kerta huun Preeto keh pota poti to terey hongey aur teri hii godh main kheleingey lekin iskey liye main dusri shadi nahin kerunga.” He promised his mother. Yes, he was not going to forget that he had responsibilities towards his own parents too who loved him unconditionally and who he could not abandon for anyone in this world.

The family left wordlessly, there was nothing to say he had made his grave in their view and was now going to lie in it. He closed the door after their departure returning to his wife who as he asked had remained silent throughout the showdown. Taking her in his arms he cradled her gently. It was too tiring, his frazzled nerves were close to snapping but he couldn’t lose it, a lot rode on his sanity.

Harman: “Soumya ro nahin,” he spoke softly caressing her silken tresses, breathing in her floral fragrance. 

Didn’t do much to stop the salt water flowing from her eyes, he sighed and lay on the bed with her in his hold. It was a relief that they were to leave the day after he couldn’t bear the claustrophobic environment anymore, he wanted to live and laugh with Soumya. To see her happy. To get her treated and to be able to show his parents that he wasn’t missing much in life. All of that needed time and patience which his family was not in a mood to give. Then again he was Harman Harak Singh, he was the hero everyone dreamed of being, he got to live it.

Soumya heard him sigh and looked up to see him gaze at her intently. “Kiya hua bas aansu khatam, mujhey to laga abhi buhut stock baaqi hai tumharey paas,” he grinned mischievously. 

“Harman jee aap meri wajah sey” she wanted to say a lot more when Harman cut her midsentence. He did not want her to roll in self-pity anymore and decided to divert her attention.

“Mera naam kiya hai Soumya?” he inquired smiling at her while she searched his countenance for his state of mind. “Kiya matlab?” she was confused. She tried to get up but Harman held her to him in a tight embrace. 

“Mera naam kiya hai?” he had repeated enjoying her soft presence in his hold. “Harman jee” she answered innocently. 

“Harman jee nahin hai. Jab main paida hua tha Preeto ney mera naam Harman rakha tha, Harman jee nahin.” He clarified to a relieved Soumya. 

“Oh acha!” She smiled through her tears. This childlike quality of hers enamored Harman. Rolling over he pinned her underneath him. 

“Ab batao naam kiya hai?” he asked seductively making her color. 

“Harman jee,” she breathed softly. 

“Jab tak theek sey nahin bologi jaaney nahin duunga,” he promised huskily trailing soft kisses along her jawline, kissing away her tears.

“Kiya naam hai mera?” he asked again. 

“Harman jee” she whispered, her eyes shy as she turned her cheek to him. 

“Kiya naam hai?” he inquired cupping her face aligning it to his mouth. 

“Harman..” Soumya reacted when he had crushed his mouth to hers silencing her passionately. 

Soumya’s hands had gone around his neck deepening their kiss; she too loved him from the very core of her being. True she couldn’t feel their kiss as profoundly as a woman would’ve but to her, the mere fact that she got a chance to live like a normal woman was more than enough. She was excited on her new journey with her husband and vowed to herself to bear all pain if it were to bring closer to him. Nothing was more important to her than Harman, not even her own life because he was her life. Much later when he broke the kiss and a breathless Soumya found the nerve to meet his eyes he winked at her. 

“Kiya naam hai mera?” he asked yet again. 

“Harman!” Soumya replied burying her face in his broad chest and he laughed his first in a long time.







About The Author

AUTHOR NAME is &Muneeza Danial Chevalier&


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do visit https://harmansaumya.wixsite.com/harmansaumya


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Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

To fall in love is acceptable but to fall in love with an anomaly. The world, society and even his family are against this unique love. How far and how long will his quest for love be? Join Harman and Soumya in this one of a kind love story.

  • Published: 2017-07-09 17:20:09
  • Words: 6299
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil Ae Dil Hai Mushkil