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Aaron the Alien and the Cwissmussywussyfussjeerydeer Part 1


Aaron the Alien: and the Cwissmussywussyfussderryjeer

Published by Jon (Jon-Jon) Stephen Jones at Shakespir

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This short story excerpt is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the author, as allowed under terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights and those responsible maybe liable in law accordingly.

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Copyright © 2016 Jon (Jon-Jon) Stephen Jones

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This book excerpt is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the authors imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Visit my website at: www.Jon-Jon.co.uk




by Jon-Jon (Jon S Jones)

Part I

‘Timmy who is Aaron?’ his mum snapped, Timmy sat bolt right up in bed the blood draining from his face, it was the day before Christmas eve and School had already broken up. His mum barged into his room, he hated it when she did that. It was normally because he had not cleared something up behind him, then he would be made to go all the way downstairs just go to go and pick up an empty crisp packet and put it in the bin or something else equally annoying. Today though his mum had his full attention, how could she know who Aaron was, it was impossible, wasn’t it?

‘Well … I’m waiting mister.’ his mum said standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.’ As usual his mum looked like she had been up forever as if it were two in the afternoon and not half eight in the morning. Timmy was panicking, what could he say when he didn’t know what she knew.

‘Aaron? I don’t know mum, I don’t know anyone called Aaron.’

Don’t you lie to me young man.’ she shot back in a raised voice.

Timmy looked genuinely bewildered and confused, such was his certainty that his mum could not know of Aaron’s existence. His mum noticed the reaction.

‘Take a look outside.’

Timmy just sat there looking at his mum.

Go on, have a look at the back garden.’ Timmy still in his pyjamas got up on his bed and looked outside.

Snow.’ he yelped ‘Mum it has been snowing overnight, it has settled as well, quite deep.’ Timmy squealed with excitement.

‘Yes Timothy, I am quite aware of that, try looking in the snow, especially the layer of fresh snow in our own back garden.’

Timmy hated it when she called him Timothy, it was always an indicator she was serious about something. He looked at the back garden carefully and quickly realised the cause of his unexpected interrogation. There written in the fresh snow in big letters were the words


Timmy burst out laughing partly because he thought it was quite a funny joke and partly out of relief.

‘I am glad you find it so funny young man, I suppose I should be glad he didn’t swear, the young vandal, who is he anyway?’

Timmy still looking out of the window paused mid laugh, he had to think fast, he turned as fast and as confidently as he could back around to his mum.

Oh that Aaron, he is Ed’s cousin, from London, you must have met him he normally comes up during school holidays. It was only a joke mum he probably thought I would see it before anyone else and cover it up, please don’t be mad, we all love it when he comes up to visit.’

Timmy tried to put on his best puppy dog eyes.

‘I suppose … but I suggest you get dressed and go and build yourself a snow man or something rather sharpish and do not leave one letter visible.’

‘Ok mum, thanks, can you shut my door then so I can get dressed.’ his mum eyed him for a second as if deliberating whether she had just been hoodwinked – which of course she had.

As soon as the door was shut Timmy ran to the window and started shouting for Aaron, standing on his bed he leant right of the window and looked up to the roof. An avalanche of snow came sliding off and covered his top half with so much snow that he nearly fell out of the window!

Timmy recoiled back in the room instantly hearing the unmistakeable laugh of his best friend Aaron.

I knew you would do that, I knew it.

‘Aaron, my mum’ll hear you.’

‘Sorry, but that was funny.’ said Aaron swinging in through the window and landing after his obligatory somersaults.

As Timmy pretended to close the window, he collected some snow off the shelf and turned around and threw it in Aaron’s face but unbeknownst to Timmy Aaron had already planned the same thing and had a snow ball in one of his extra hands, both of them received a snowball in the face simultaneously.

Timmy burst out laughing as did Aaron, they quickly picked up as much snow as they could and threw it out of the window.

‘So what are you doing here Aaron?’ said Timmy putting on his favourite blue dressing gown as all the snow had made him cold.

‘Thought I would come and hang out I know how humans love this time of year.’

‘Yeah it’s pretty cool.’

‘Obviously Timmy the land is covered in snow, you’re not exactly going to run downstairs and start putting towels around the pond are you.’

‘Aaron, I meant ‘cool’ it’s a figure of speech.’

‘Impossible – how can you have a figure of speech, if a figure is a number and speech is comprised entirely of letters.’

‘I don’t know Aaron how can an alien travel a zillion miles and not buy a phrasebook?’

‘Good point.’ said Aaron rubbing his chin with one of his four hands. ‘Did you like my message?’

‘I can’t believe you Aaron my mum almost killed me, she came in and was asking who Aaron was, I was panicking thinking she must know about you.’

‘I know I was listening on the roof, it was so funny though, if only you could have been there, oh wait you were.’ said Aaron laughing.

‘Yeah you wait Aaron I’ll get you back.’

‘I was just getting you back for what happened on Bezerkkaflurkkadurkk.’ Aaron replied daring Timmy to respond with his gesture.

‘No, but … but … ok that was funny though.’

‘Yeah but was it as funny as mine.’

‘Ooh, that is a tough one to be fair.’ replied Timmy running his fingers through his blonde hair as if it were a question that had puzzled scientists for centuries.

‘Anyway come on Aaron get dressed, we’ll do something.’

‘Ok, Aaron just give me fifteen, I will quickly scoff a bowl of cereal, have a wash and get dressed, you know where my books and that are, help yourself. Be careful though my sister is prowling about somewhere.’

‘Cool.’ responded Aaron smiling. Timmy rolled his eyes grabbed a handful of clothes and ran out of the room.

Aaron was sitting on the bed reading a James Bond novel when Timmy returned.

‘Where shall we go Aaron?’ said Timmy closing the bedroom door behind him.

‘Don’t know, but before we do there is something I would like to ask you? It has always puzzled me, I know you are always calling me a Mr know it all, but there is one thing that has always evaded me?’

‘What’s that mate?’ said Timmy sitting down on the bed and looking at his friend with a serious expression.

‘Who is Chris Moose?’

‘Chris Moose? I don’t know any Chris Moose, Aaron?’

‘Chris Moose, the person you celebrate each year, the reason your off school.’

Timmy burst out laughing so hard that tears sprang from his eyes, Aaron soon found himself laughing as well.

Chris Moose, Chris Moose.’ Timmy squealed punching his bed.

‘Timmy w … w … what’s so funny?’ said Aaron still laughing.

‘It’s Christmas not Chris Moose.’

‘Ah I see, you know I searched encyclopaedia’s, I even tried the phone book, no wonder I couldn’t find him.’

‘Aaron you’re going to kill me,’ said Timmy laughing hard but fighting to compose himself again.

‘You know Timmy after I told everyone in the galaxy about Christmas, we nick named a planet after it.’

‘Really, why?’

‘It’s like earth in the winter, everything is white and snowy, well kind of if you know what I mean.’

Timmy and Aaron looked at each other,

‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking Aaron?’

‘Yes – let’s go.’

Timmy threw on his black jumper, ran downstairs and after grabbing his grey and yellow coat and black gloves he headed out.

They had deemed it safer for them to meet by the spaceship rather than risk being seen. The snow made it harder to cross the large open fields inconspicuously. Aaron was waiting for him at their usual spot, when Timmy arrived the ship was ready. They took off and within minutes they were cruising deep into outer space.

They travelled at the usual silly super star speed extravaganza and within an hour a white covered planet came in to view.

‘Is this the Christmas planet Aaron?’

‘Sure, want a closer look?’

Timmy answered Aaron silently with an incredulous stare. They flew down and landed on the surface as soon, as they were out of the ship Aaron put it away. Timmy looked at his surroundings it was covered in what seemed to be like a snow like substance, he put his hands in it – it was warm.

‘Aaron the snow is warm.’

‘Well I said it was kind of like snow didn’t I?’

‘Yes you did, it’s not cold either.’ said Timmy casually unzipping his coat. ‘No way, have you seen this? Look over there it’s snowing in one place.’

Aaron looked over to where Timmy was pointing, there was huge snowflakes falling out of the sky but only in one place. They ran through the deep snow.

Reaching the snow shaft they ran inside. Aaron jumped up and headed one of the huge snowflakes as if it were a football shouting ‘Goal!’ while he did so. Timmy tried to do the same but missed. Aaron chuckled and headed another one, the shaft of snow started moving away, chasing it Aaron and Timmy started trying to bat the huge balls of snow into each other’s faces.

A strange noise suddenly ripped through the sky, it sounded like a cross between a cockerel, a cat, a cow and a monkey.

‘What was that?’ asked Timmy. As he did up his coat realising the inside was filling up with snow, he also realised it wasn’t wet.

‘It’s nothing.’ replied Aaron batting a really large one at Timmy who only just ducked in time.

The sky was white and light grey, in the distance he thought he could see something gigantic moving through it.

‘Aaron if I didn’t know better I would say …’

‘Say what?’ answered Aaron finally paying attention, looking at Timmy with snow between his humps giving him the appearance of a green and white quarterback.

A huge shadow was cast over them as a bird the size of jumbo jet came gliding through the sky, the snow suddenly stopped, looking up Timmy saw where the snow was coming from.’

‘Aaron can you tell me why we have just been playing in bird poo, no better yet can you tell me why you bought me to a planet covered in bird poo.’ Timmy said shouting the last sentence. Aaron dropped the huge snowball he was holding with comic timing.

The bird was huge, it had six giant feathered wings, three on each side of its body with two large feathered fins on its back and a huge curvy bill that made it look like it was smiling. It had giant webbed feet with a snake like creature in the end of its toes, it was white all over with orange feet and an orange head.

‘That is the weirdest looking goose I have ever seen.’

‘Timmy, I’m not sure but that one looks like its heading straight for us.’

‘What do they eat?’

‘Don’t know.’

‘So what your saying is that we could well be on the menu.’

‘Yeah I suppose I am.’ Aaron said turning and looking at Timmy. ‘The same as usual?’

‘Yeah, why not.’ replied Timmy. ‘Run.’

They started running, it was easier than running in snow on earth but they were still slowed up by it.

‘Of all the things I thought I would be doing today running away from a dinosaur sized piece of poultry was not one of them.’ said Timmy. The bird got closer, ‘I don’t think we can outrun it, its gaining on us and fast. Aaron run ahead you can go quicker than me.’

‘Never Timmy, it’s all for one and all for three hundred and fifty.’

‘Aaron we’re about to die, don’t make me laugh.’ said Timmy running and trying to laugh at the same time. ‘It’s all for one, I’ve told you that before.’

Timmy stopped laughing as he looked behind him and saw the giant goose right behind them.

‘Aaron.’ shouted Timmy as his legs were taken away from him, he tumbled and fell backwards into the birds mouth. Timmy sat up on the moist surface with wind blasting his face, their was a peculiar smell, similar to mouldy bread.

‘You alright Aaron?’

‘Yeah I am, are you?’

‘So what was the point in that then?’

‘I don’t know maybe, some invisible teeth are going to come down and skewer us in half.’

‘Thanks Aaron.’ said Timmy glibly.



‘Who is that?’ said Aaron flicking his eyes behind Timmy.

Timmy was startled to see someone else sitting behind them inside the birds bill. He looked like he had dirty white, scaly, reptile skin. Its head looked like three white balls sitting on top of each other, they got smaller as they went up.

‘Aaron why are we sharing a goose’s mouth with someone who looks like Godzilla has just lost a fight with a snow man?’

‘I don’t know Timmy,’ they both looked at him again, he was sitting down but was evidently a lot taller than them. He was holding a spear or walking stick that looked like it was carved out of diamond. The creature turned and looked at them.

‘This is the number 17 isn’t it?’

What?’ remarked Timmy in utter surprise. ‘It’s just that I’m always catching the wrong bird.’

‘Sorry we have no idea.’

‘Oh that’s a shame.’ He said standing up and poking the roof of the bird’s mouth violently.

‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ ventured Timmy.

‘Nonsense I want to know where this stupid bird is going.’ His voice was gruff, he sounded cantankerous, again he violently slammed his stick into the roof of the birds mouth.

Timmy and Aaron heard that strange noise that they had heard earlier but as it was being emitted from the very bird that they were in, it almost deafened them. Suddenly their lungs were filled with fresh air, the smell of mouldy bread had gone, the bird had spat them out.’

Falling through the air, Timmy’s cheeks were flapping like a dog with its head stuck out of a car window.

‘Why is it every time I go somewhere with you I end up fighting for my life.’

‘I have no idea.’

‘Not you, I meant Aaron’

‘Oh.’ shouted their bizarre new friend who was falling as if he was enjoying it.

‘Sorry Timmy, I’m a little preoccupied right now.’

‘Oh what with?’ chimed in the creature much to Timmy’s chagrin.

‘Nothing much – just the field of jagged ice spikes that we’re all about to be impaled upon.’

‘Aaron what are we going to do?’

‘I don’t know Timmy; I think our duck has ran out.’

‘It’s luck Aaron, luck not duck … wait a minute … that’s it, we can call one of the geese, hey mister how do we call a goose?’

‘We haven’t got time.’ came the sullen reply.

Timmy looked down and saw the spikes coming toward his face at a thousand miles an hour.

Aaron we have to think of something.

I’m trying Timmy, Timmy I’m sorry I never thought we would actually die on one of our adventures.’

That’s alright Aaron, it’s just that I don’t want to dieeeeee …’

‘I could change the ice to water if you like?’ said the grumpy voice.

You what?’ Timmy and Aaron shouted in unison.

‘It is just an offer.’ came the gruff reply.

Yes please.’ Aaron and Timmy shouted.

The creature said nothing, suddenly all the icicles melted into water which rose to meet them. They were genteelly lowered down. As soon as they landed the water turned back to ice. The strange thing was never once did Timmy feel cold or wet, he leaned down and touched the ice, he was amazed to feel that it was warm, really warm.

Aaron and Timmy were ordered to follow the creature with such authority that they did not dare argue. It lead them across the field, up a stair case of ice into a cave carved out of an ice cliff. It was not that deep and obviously served as home.

They sat down, Timmy felt very warm, then hot, he was soon sweating. The creature saw him wiping his forehead.

‘I will start a fire to cool us down.’

‘A fire to cool us down, how can that be – fire is hot?’

Aaron and Timmy looked at each other as their new companion ignoring the remark picked up two weird looking gems and smashed them together, a flame leapt out and onto what must be a fire pit. Timmy had thought it was for rubbish. A huge neon electric blue fire started roaring, Timmy could feel it giving off a cool breeze. He put his hands nearer, the closer he got the colder it was until it literally burnt him. He yanked his hand back with a yelp.

The creature sat around the pit with them and suddenly pulled his head off.

It took Aaron and Timmy a few seconds to realise that it was some sort of mask, then he stood up and its white scaly skin fell to the floor, there in front of them was a man like figure who looked like he was made out of uncut diamond.

‘Whoa, are you made of ice?’ said Aaron.

‘That is some party trick.’ said Timmy noting Aaron was unusually impressed.

‘Kind of, what I’m made of doesn’t matter, tell me what brings you here, do you come for trouble, to start a war, open up a franchise – what?’

Timmy moved neared the fire as he was starting to feel hot again. ‘Just came to see it.’

‘Yes, we only came to explore a little, not interfere we shall soon be on our way again.’ Aaron added sounding really sophisticated.


‘Well what?’ Timmy questioned getting irked with the creatures tone.

‘Well, what do you think of the place?’

‘It’s cool.’ said Aaron.

‘Good, one Aaron’ replied Timmy with a smile.

Aaron slapped his head, ‘I never meant it like that.

‘We really like it sir, very white and a lot of the landscape looks the same, snow and ice but other than that.’ said Timmy putting in the voice he used when he wanted to sound grown up.

‘It wasn’t always like that you know.’

‘What do you mean?’ asked Aaron.

This has always been a land of winter as you would call it but there used to be so much colour brought about by a special creature known only to this planet. They started disappearing centuries ago until there was only one left. It is said that the one last magical creature is being held prisoner somewhere on this world, by a fierce and powerful being.’

‘What is the name of this magical creature?’ asked Timmy.


Timmy couldn’t help but snigger especially at hearing such a silly name being pronounced so seriously.

‘Do you have any idea where it might be?’ asked Aaron, leaning toward the fire himself.

The man tapped his stick on the ground, ‘yes if I can remember. There was a rumour, I just need to recall what it was.’

‘Well if you can recall it mister, you’re looking at the two people who will find it, rescue it and bring this world back to what it should be.’ as Timmy said this Aaron and Timmy did a jubilant high five.

‘Yes, yes.’ the creature said almost annoyed. ‘Ah yes, got it, it was …’

A huge earthquake interrupted him. They were showered with splinters of ice from the ceiling.

Oh no.’ the creature shouted.

‘What is it?’ demanded Timmy.

‘To you it’s a huge ice monster, it wants to eat me and I’m trapped.’

You’re trapped we’re in here with you, how big is it?’

‘It’s big.’ replied Aaron as a huge shadow crossed the land and a creature the size of a block flats covered their entire view.

‘You’re made of ice, is it a cannibal?’

‘A cannonball, Timmy, how can it be a cannonball?’ Aaron asked sounding annoyed.

‘I’ve never heard of Gammon hall, what are you talking about?’ the creature snapped.

‘I don’t believe this here we are facing certain death and you two …’

What appeared to be a huge glass claw came smashing through the cave. They all tumbled through the air as daggers and spears of ice flew at them of every direction. Timmy screamed as he looked up and saw through the chaos that nothing could save him from the huge set of razor sharp teeth that he was about to meet …


For more on Aaron the Alien please visit:


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About Jon-Jon:


Jon-Jon was born in the South Midlands (UK) in June 1976. He has written numerous collections of poetry and short stories. His debut novel for grownups entitled Tiger! Tiger! Tiger! will be released later this year.

Jon-Jon is hoping to bring the Aaron the Alien series to a bookshop near you soon.

For more information about Jon-Jon and to read one of his short stories plus the first 5,000 words of his forthcoming novel for FREE go to




Aaron the Alien and the Cwissmussywussyfussjeerydeer Part 1

  • Author: Jon (Jon-Jon) Jones
  • Published: 2016-12-22 00:05:09
  • Words: 3864
Aaron the Alien and the Cwissmussywussyfussjeerydeer Part 1 Aaron the Alien and the Cwissmussywussyfussjeerydeer Part 1