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A Taste Of My Thoughts Toilet Paper

A Taste Of My Thoughts

Toilet Paper

By Steve Lake

Copyright 2016




Shakespir Edition 2016

Published by Steve Lake

Copyright 2016 Steve Lake




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Toilet Paper

Copyright 10-27-2016

Steve Lake


Where does the toilet paper go?

Apparently I am the last to know

Usually when I am in need

I write this while I am stuck on the seat


I reflect back into my day dream

A family pack of twenty four bought for two

Jumbo rolls that equal plenty

Yet I sit here with a roll that is empty


I peer around the door in silence

Planning my escape bare bottom

Time restricted pants around my ankles

Now thinking I should have just tinkled


I reflect into the distant past

When the kids were young and a smart ass

Toilet paper always in high demand

They would decorate the neighbor’s trees

And across the land


I reflect on current times

Thinking about the dog and cats of mine

No evidence lay upon the floor

Ruling them out for now

But not evermore


Maybe it was a leprechaun

He is always after my gold

It is the most valuable thing to me in my need

I bet he has a full roll


So with no toilet paper in sight

I re-sit embarrassed by my plight

I am the one in need

Leaving only the wife the culprit to be


I query my thoughts

So far this year sixty rolls bought

It is only February fourth

Excuse me while I slip a fart


What could she have done with it all?

No art projects for my view

No donations did she spew

In conclusion I just knew

She is a hoarder of the pee yew


Things are starting to dry

Another shower is in order if I don’t act spry

I unroll the paper holder

Rolling between my palms until just right and bolder


It is like a homemade pizza crust

It isn’t pretty at all

But I am liking the texture

After this a you tube video

And a lecture


So in my wisdom learned through hardship

A back pack now I carry

Packed full of toilet paper rolls

Even some ointment for the days it blows


This will be my secret for now

Until she reads this posting aloud

It’s the problem with posting things on the internet

Least it isn’t a picture of my dirty bum

But a valuable message for some


A Taste Of My Thoughts Toilet Paper

  • ISBN: 9781370400874
  • Author: Steve Lake
  • Published: 2016-10-27 18:35:15
  • Words: 461
A Taste Of My Thoughts Toilet Paper A Taste Of My Thoughts Toilet Paper