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Without An Angel

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Without An Angel

by Mitchell Bogatz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2016 by Mitchell Bogatz

 

All right reserved worldwide. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

 

Cover by Jonathan T. Maya

 

Published by Cavanagh Publishing

3905 State Street #7258

Santa Barbara, Ca 93105

Without An Angel is a collection of the poetry I wrote from 2015 to 2016, the hardest year of my life. That year contained a lot of ups and downs – most of them caused by falling in love with a completely unavailable woman. Forbidden love, contrary to popular belief, isn’t all unbridled passion and secret rendezvous. At best, it involves people who desperately need to feel loved, and that alone has a tendency to magnify problems. I don’t know how it is with others, but not a single person mentioned in these poems came out unscathed.

 

Table of Contents

Disillusioned 7

Laughter Abated 8

So Young 9

When the Ground Shakes 10

You Might Want Me 11

The Gift 12

I Always Miss You 13

Breathe for Me 14

Love Poem to a Stripper 15

Last Leaf 16

Can I Cry Now 17

My Perfect Storm 18

Breaking in Your Broken Man 19

Wind Instruments 20

Penis 21

Perfect Worlds 22

Strange Thing 23

Broken Thing 24

A Fading Light 25

Curves 26

A Night in the Storm 27

The Last Glimmer 28

Perfection 29

Silent Explosions 30

Always a Fool 31

Hotel Security 32

On Nights Without You 33

Forgetting the World 34

… 35

Winter People 36

Rocks 37

A Man’s Worth 38

Him 39

Him Again… Always Him 40

To Never Have You 41

Tsunami Warning 42

To Not Fade Away 43

Drying River 44

Let’s Freeze Time 45

A Path through the Mud 46

Always an Obstacle 47

In Search of Perfection 48

Walls 49

Drowning on a Cheap Sofa 50

Her 51

Dancing 52

The Tide Rolls In 53

Don’t Build a Girlfriend 54

The Struggle Within 55

The Fish & The Dog
56

When all is Darkness 57

If I Leave 58

Our Deepest Condolences 59

Good for You, You Lucky Bastard 60

Only You
61

Don’t Say You Love Me 62

Never Will You Drift Into Me 63

Taint 65

Hills 66

Bottled Feelings 67

Pulling at Desire 68

Cautious Surrender 69

Though I Am a Man of Words 70

Leaving 73

Up The Stairs 74

The Cycle 75

Wharf Priest 77

Last One 78

Let Me Wake Up 79

Then Jack Frost Came to Me 80

Thoughts 81

Songs by the Water 82

Seeds 83

We Can’t Say ‘Goodbye’ 84

[][][][][] Disillusioned

Always wanting, never reaching.

Memories keep us underground.

Buried GIANTS still beseeching,

trapped below our memory’s mound.

Entwined. Loving, never trusting.

Combined. Always knowing nothing’s won.

In time, even fear has started rusting.

We find digging’s all we’ve ever done.

[][][][][] Laughter Abated

The world couldn’t keep its corruption away

Infections of men couldn’t leave one thing pure

Not one tiny heart filled with joy left to stay

The girl will not laugh anymore.

She stares at the world with her eyes filled with fear.

I want to protect her from things in the black.

But her knowing of them will leave no laughter here

And all of my hatred can’t bring sweetness back

Killers should have bowed their heads

Shaken with shame, deep to their core

But nothing remains now but fear in our beds.

For the girl will not laugh anymore.

[][][][][] So Young

Poor child… Did no one tell you how much you’re allowed to love?

[][][][][] When the Ground Shakes

When the ground shakes

we run to each other

so we can shake together

The problem is

when it’s you that rattles me

I’ve nowhere else to go

[][][][][] You Might Want Me

You might want me

So you keep me here

In your labyrinth

Where only you can find me

Fool I am,

With every escape,

You lure me back with sweet words

And pictures of succulent treats

I can never have

[][][][][] The Gift

I’ll give more love than I can give

A trick I learned from loans

And what I give will multiply

Or strip me down to bones

[][][][][] I Always Miss You

I dream of you

in the blackness

of each blink

But though your body

dances

in my mind

In truth,

it’s somewhere

that isn’t here

Why is it

that your tenderness

always causes me more pain

than your cruelty?

[][][][][] Breathe for Me

Slowly sinking.

Slowly rising.

Breath is trapped by our desire.

What we want

And what we need

Is twisted up in tensing wire.

Princess.

Angel.

Can you breathe?

Fill your precious lungs for me.

Push and pull ‘till nothings there

Love, my dear, is in the air.

[][][][] Love Poem to a Stripper

I know you don’t care,

that you just want to get paid and go home.

Even as I feel your body in that dark room,

I know you don’t mean the words you whisper in my ear.

And I don’t care.

Can’t you be my perfect girl?

I’m paying you enough.

[][][][] Last Leaf

The crunch of a sad leaf on the ground.

I know how it feels.

Yes, I too once belonged to something.

I suppose I was more like the tree with one leaf,

Trying desperately in the cold to hold on to it…

But the winds of time have never failed to rip it away.

The sound of jump-ropes is a distant memory now.

The universe will likely be unaffected by me,

For I have left no legacy.

 

It’s been winter too long.

I’m tired of winter.

I sense again something growing-

but I can feel no need to hold on.

[][][][] Can I Cry Now

Can I cry now? Would it be okay, this time, if I cried?

[][][][] My Perfect Storm

You said you needed me to be a rock

But you yourself remain a stormy sea.

A tiny stone would sink or fade like chalk.

Will crashing waters soon devour me?

In water’s wake, no shelf of land seems high

A storm like you consumes all things en route…

I’d rather be consumed than dry—

Your crashing waters are my sky.

I’d rather be the floor of sea

Than see your storm go out!

[][][][] Breaking in Your Broken Man

Tell a broken man to wait

See what happens then

Make a reason

Wrap it up

And do it all again

Sprinkle in a little love

And just a taste of sin

And broken man will wait for you

And jump and crawl and spin

For fine tuning, make him feel

Like every deal will be the end

But don’t you give him what he wants

Or broken man will mend

 

[][][][] Wind Instruments

The road whispers to me. I am the dark leaves that blow in the evening wind. I move by some unseen force that pulls at all of me. It keeps me dancing in the fog untouched by streetlights. It surrounds me, inside and out, and when it leaves me, I always fall that long, long way back down.

[][][][] Penis

Someone drew a penis on my notepad

A big one with wavy ball hairs

And lines that I can only assume signify ejaculation…

I wonder if he read my poetry

[][][][] Perfect Worlds

Arms around you in the dirt,

Making future plans.

Hearts that sound above the hurt.

Touching arms and hands.

In the park we dream of lands,

Of places that will never be.

Together, neither understands

The things to do to make us free.

It’s hard to say which things will stay,

So warm and so in love.

And even you might go your way,

And take the worlds I’m dreaming of.

[][][][] Strange Thing

Love is a strange thing

Most confuse it

It doesn’t mean we’ll never fight

Just that when we do, we imagine our lives without the other

And we stop

[][][][] Broken Thing

Your soft words ring like padded screams across the autumn air

Wherever girls have broken dreams, my love will find them there

For love, they say, will seek its own and I’m the one to blame

But broken things don’t mind the pain or tend to love the same

[][][][] A Fading Light

It’s time to leave. The light of my long gone star has faded once again. But I will chase that light still. I will always find where it shines, however fast I need to go…

But every time I catch the light, I find it dimmer than the last.

I want to keep myself in love for I have come so far, but even as I speed to grab it, I grow farther from the object itself. This light cannot shine forever and I fear I will never find my way home.

[][][][] Curves

Every curve that moves and bends

Every single precious limb

And every thought inside your head,

And how your hair lays on the bed,

The way you blush, the way you laugh in light forever dim…

I’d rather any part of you than every part of them.

[][][][] A Night in the Storm

Oh shattered one, please don’t cry

Please don’t moan. You’re not alone.

Your hair and all you are, undone,

A song so sweetly oversung,

And wind is blown and things are thrown

 

And how you howl into that wind

And scrape your fists against the brier

But cuts and twists at least, can mend

Throw instead, at me your fire

 

Through walls of tears it’s hard to see

But you’ve been loved

You’ve been loved by me

[][][][] The Last Glimmer

My own thoughts mock me.

“Stop staring,” they say.

“You won’t find it.”

“You know by now, you silly fool, that any glimmer only accentuates the darkness.”

And so it was.

I saw it go away again – that flickering bombardment of light disguised as peace…

Only this time, when it was gone I heard a voice – neither man nor woman – speak in thoughts resembling words.

It was as if it said, “I can save it.”

I thought for a while in my confusion. It seemed a nice offer, but I couldn’t help but ask—

“Where were you before?”

[][][][] Perfection

A perfect woman should be gorgeous, but oblivious enough not to know it.

She should be a prude with everyone else, but a vixen with you.

She should be smart enough to hold a conversation, but impressionable enough to always value the random shit you make up on the spot in your attempts to impress her.

[][][][] Silent Explosions

Sitting small on wooden chair

With not another sitting there

And no one else to nag or blame

Or share the load of twisted pain

Alone at last but in his mind, a trickle down of thought begins

There is no past, for he can find no hope around so many sins

And so he sits with many friends

That jeer and whoop and call

And though his visage cracks and bends

He doesn’t move at all

[][][][] Always a Fool

A heart cannot know the rules

for all the things it doesn’t see.

It often comes attached to fools

and changes lives so carelessly.

So can I blame my heart for you?

My sudden love. My hopeless plea.

Though everything I want – taboo.

Unknown before, yet all of me.

[][][][] Hotel Security

This guy won’t go away

He lingers by the coffee and tea, but never pours a thing

And then he goes in and out of the doors as if, when he tries to return, he’ll be transported somewhere that isn’t a shitty hotel with no parking.

Wait… he’s back now.

Having chosen one option over the other, he sips down his creation one drop at a time…

And I’m paralyzed with the fear of having to wait for it to cool down.

[][][][] On Nights Without You

The ticking of the clock is thunderous in the quiet night. I can hear the cars outside as they drive over the water in the asphalt, the liquid in the divots of the road. It’s still raining, but I can’t hear the rain.

Other nights, I myself drive through the darkness, droplets streaming off the windshield, thinking of you. At times, when we’re together, you make me forget that I’m alone… but love is like a rainbow. Sometimes it appears when it’s still raining, and it’s just too dark to see.

[][][][] Forgetting the World

Your blushing body under mine,

Soft curves pressing

Into me

Gently, with intensity,

Undressing every part we see

And then the bed that we lie in

Sinks far away from all of them

Our whispered moans for us alone

Two tingling bodies find their home—

—And heat we make lights up the dim

Our fervor finally filled to brim

[][][] …

Sometimes it’s not the things that happen to us – sometimes it’s the things that don’t happen that cover us like a monsoon and drown us in lost desires. It’s the kiss that never happened. It’s the spurned affection and the unkept promises. The deafening nothingness surrounds us like a bubble of oxygen in a lake of acid… but neither the lake nor the bubble really exist.

[][][][] Winter People

The piercing touch of passion nears

As palms caress your thighs.

It whispers in your eager ears

And thrives in pleasured cries.

In biting, grinding, squeezing, holding

-- rids us of the “Why?’s”.

It needs and wants so many things.

And not a one denies.

[][][][] Rocks

Not a path is set

We go through our lives constantly bombarded with things

that change our course

Like rocks in space

we float

And only some of us

float

in the right direction

 

 

[][][] A Man’s Worth

We can’t all charge into battle

riding a horse,

hands wrapped around a Tommy gun

with dynamite for a cigar.

There just aren’t enough horses.

So some will search for meaning in lines of code,

desperately scouring for missing semi-colons.

Others scratch calculations on dinner napkins

in support of theories that will later be disproved.

So don’t worry kid.

We’ll find something for you to do.

[][][][] Him

As children, you hear stories about true love. They say skies open to ladders of light that carry you up into seas of warm happiness, wrapping you in comfort, finally giving you the thing you never had: peace. Ours is a different love. There is a third presence here – a shadow that looms in all things, pulling at the roots of our affections. It lies between us always. Sometimes it is invisible, and other times it is sickeningly opaque, and we never know until we’ve met again, which one it’s going to be.

[][][][] Him Again… Always Him

I will never love him

I will never like him

I don’t hate him

I don’t want to hurt him

Because I want you to be the one to discard him

[][][][] To Never Have You

I’ve done a lot in my short time

Mine’s a life you’ve never seen

With so few things yet left to see

I’ve just a few tears left in me

So how is it I long for you?

What do you bring that they can’t?

These other girls that smile and laugh and dance and love but never slant or scratch the surface of my heart with any soft caress or plea. What is it that you possess that reaches in and shatters me?

And what a soul shines in the thralls of things that never grab you.

I know it now.

I’ve never lived-

For I have never had you.

[][][][] Tsunami Warning

Tsunami warning on the wharf tonight

And the waves are crashing

Staring at the blankness of the endless ocean

I pray the wave comes

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[][][][] To Not Fade Away

Sometimes the darkness in us stirs.

Subjugated wants grow like weeds in our minds,

strangling our thoughts,

blocking the sun.

Sometimes the black comes closer

and we let it hurt us.

We let it darken our lives,

devour our love.

Yes, large hearts have more surface to damage,

but never forget,

also more worth protecting.

So when the shadows stir,

don’t let them change you.

Shadows aren’t real…

?

[][][][] Drying River

“It’s not that hard,” they all tell me.

“We all will find our place to be,

and rivers flow and seek and find

And not a drop is left behind.”

“When you stop looking,” people say,

“the river water clears its way.”

Why hasn’t mine?

Mine flows on.

Curving in the wrong places.

Seeking a body.

A warm body.

A body of water.

[][][][] Let’s Freeze Time

Frozen in the alleys of memory

I hoped you’d come to heal

Pleasant were the words you spoke

in times we fought to steal

Passing time, press down on me

With all the desire too slow to be met

Loving lies told tenderly

Do not a painful past forget

[][][][] A Path through the Mud

Deep in the depths of the labyrinth of life,

I took a wrong turn, the wrong time

It was too long ago to reprise the false steps

So lost, I became very wise.

I lived in a cave and yet preached from on high

And I screamed in my silence ‘I’m ready to die’.

But once in my dying I chanced into sleep

And the dream that I dreamt caused my lost self to weep.

I dreamt of a place where my first love remained

Yet trapped in a box I could do all but BE.

But there, a white angel, removed all now stained.

She opened my box and she let me crawl free.

[][][][] Always an Obstacle

Cunning torturer

Guise of love

Cause of pain I am receiving

Smile and strike

And kiss and hug

This heart as it is bleeding

I’ll always feel your searing tug

I’ll always keep believing

Endless walls and pretty calls

Will keep a man from leaving

[][][][] In Search of Perfection

I believe in you even though I know you’re a lie,

for nothing known is ever sure.

I look for you even though there’s no one to find,

but that just makes me need you more.

I long for you even though you’re only in my mind –

because outside is nothing pure, and nothing fully kind.

[][][][] Walls

Oh silly child, fill me with dissatisfaction.

Stare past my horizon, past the leaves and reed.

You drown in mud and heat, yet feel attraction

It’s hard to believe you see the things I see.

Are you aware of sin and greed of men far smarter and stronger than you?

How, unschooled, do you sit so calm to breath the air and feel the dew?

Not all wounds bleed you silly child.

Why don’t you feel the sting as we?

I’ll share a thought that burns, reviled:

the only walls in reach are those you see.

[][][][] Drowning on a Cheap Sofa

I think of you as you lay in his arms

Intimate strangers, miles away

In silence he’ll sway for you

Pray for you

Begging God you’ll stay.

But storms will rage inside your mind

You search for land you cannot find

With either him or me.

Three.

Three cups of sorrow, filled to brim.

Three souls pray and plea.

What you want now isn’t him.

But also isn’t me.

[][][][] Her

I can feel you in my veins

The girl I cannot quit

Only passion yet remains

But passion won’t forget.

Passion drives us

Drowns us

Breaks us

Brings us back

And then it makes us-

-start again with this affliction

Loving you is my addiction

[][][][] Dancing

You liked Tennis.

We played Tennis.

You liked films.

I watched them.

You spoke languages.

I learned them.

I liked dancing…

We never.

Not ever.

Went dancing.

[][][][] The Tide Rolls In

I love you all but I can’t stay.

The wind outside has caught me with the dust.

And though I have no time to plow away,

I know you understand by now I must.

I feel in you the frost of fire too long caged to try to leave.

And though I grieve your lost desire – fear the very same in me.

And though I’ve loved for many lives, no soul feels me depart;

the sound of steps unheard by those who care.

Once proud and solid rocks dissolve to sand,

there’s not a force so strong to keep them there.

[][][][] Don’t Build a Girlfriend

Every space in the shadows where I turned my eyes contained a man and a woman. I’d have squeezed my lids shut if I thought I wouldn’t bump into them. Surrounding me with their laughter, choking me with their contentment, the men ignored my very being. I tried occasionally to chuckle, but unlike them, I had no disembodied face floating next to mine… And so I drew her from the air and fed her creation with my own life.

For a time I was happy, and I floated with the others in darkness, convincing myself that I was one of them. I laughed just like them, as did she, but with every hollow boom I became more familiar with what I had made. I traced in her the threads of creation. The more we filled the silence around us, the more I saw myself – until I became aware that it was still only me laughing.

[][][][] The Struggle Within

The path is hidden from me

I feel your absence in the crevices of my bones

I am older now without you, weaker

My blood will never again pump as fast as it did before

But though old I am,

my childish mind

cannot understand

why you aren’t here

to hold

[][][][] The Fish & The Dog[
**][
**]

The dog whimpers

Staring at the fish flopping on wet wood,

gasping for water…

And I feel bad for the dog.

[][][][] When all is Darkness

What is it you want my dear?

What is left for me to bring?

Tell me and I’ll grab it.

I’ve brought a gift, I’ll put it here

It’s all that’s left of blooming things

And I want you to have it

[][][][] If I Leave

If I leave

There will be no one else

It will always be him

And you’ll be okay for a while

And one day you’ll look at him

And he’ll be old

And you won’t think about me

Or the life we could have had

Because you’ll be too used to THAT life

Like stained wood it will be too much work to replace

You’ll settle into things like the rest of them

Taking what joys you can where you can

You’ll be a little overweight

A little underwhelmed

And one day, in comfortable clothes,

looking out at crashing waves or thunderous clouds

You’ll finally forget that you yourself

ever crashed or thundered.

[][][][] Our Deepest Condolences

I’m sorry to tell you this

I really hate to be the bearer of bad news

And you’ve tried so hard too

–More than roughly half of them at least–

(Of that we’re nearly positive)

But here’s the thing:

It’s not enough

[][][][] Good for You, You Lucky Bastard

You’re done

You’re good

You won the game

You got the prize

You cleared your name

Your life will never be the same

With all that cash and all that fame

And as you pass, they clap and cheer

So why the hell are you still here?

[][][][] Only You[
**][
**]

I would give up clouds and trees and music

to have your body over mine

to feel your hot breath on my lips

as I explore you with my hands

I would give up the flowers

to see you instead, just a little every day,

the places I’ve loved

to grow old with you

and all the light of the world

to also be the only thing that you want

[][][][] Don’t Say You Love Me

I tried to put the pieces back where they were.

But things are distorted.

Backwards.

False.

Stop.

Imposter!

Don’t tell me you love me.

Don’t trust the hope. Never trust the hope.

[][][][] Never Will You Drift Into Me

Where the water’s wide and long

And waves are calm and fair

Drifts along my drifter.

She’s always drifting there.

Side by side we drifted

Back when I once drifted too

Before the current shifted

Before our distance grew

On that day I turned to her

And raised my arm for her to hold

But whispers reached me in the blue

Of how the current really pulled

While soft and calm, it sucked us in –

Our lives revolved around the tide

We felt the tiny tugs and pulls

Of seas yet calm but long and wide

Oh, drifter – swim!

Swim for me!

Thrash your arms against the sea!

Don’t let the waters conquer us!

Don’t let them take my love from thee!

When I next find you

I’ll swim harder

I’ll reach farther

I’ll thrash more…

Just put your hand in mine this time

And we can find the shore

[][][][] Taint

Tainted air will let you breath

But fills you with its taint as well

Sometimes it’s clear

Or very near

But still infects your every cell

It moulds into the cracks of joy

It sends your future plans to hell

And you can fight

For all that’s right

But taint is taint

And time will tell

[][][][] Hills

The hills are on fire

I watch them burn in the distance

And I feel nothing.

[][][][] Bottled Feelings

Waiting will kill us.

You and I.

Things kept in bottles shrivel like dead leaves.

And we—

too young and too old

—can never wait.

Will we

cease

until they are ready for us?

Shall we strike at the glass?

Will it hurt us?

I fear if we don’t, we will blink away.

For there is no equation

for the longevity of thought.

And memories are strong,

but something tells me

the glass is stronger.

[][][][] Pulling at Desire

A vast expanse of pain ahead.

I see you standing at the end.

I see the things we’ve only said,

through plans we’ve made and words we penned.

Our children play out on the beach,

blurs of love near rocky seas,

in places I may never reach,

where wind may never touch your knees…

But most days I can see you there,

and believe the breeze does really blow.

But even then, it’s words we share.

The journey’s all I really know.

[][][][] Cautious Surrender

I try to stay

But it kills me

To never be on the inside

I try to leave you

To survive

But when I’m gone, I’m not alive

And so I’m back for you

I’ll dance the dance again today,

and open my heart a crack for you,

But not enough to fade away.

[][][][] Though I Am a Man of Words

Through closed eyelids

I see clearly…

you won’t let me have you.

There’s nothing I can say.

I know

I know you love me dearly.

But you believe the world with me

will make itself a way

No

Never will we stray

into ourselves

as lovers may.

Never will the painful things

that you two share

push you away.

The words you say can crawl and stain

And fill the time when we’re alone

But words, however sweet they are

can never build a home

Imagine a Door

Imagine a door in a damp, unknowable room

Behind it lies the loving life you dream of in the dark.

A big brass key to the big black door is on the floor…

Somewhere.

Boundless steps stretch in all directions

Somewhere

in that expanding expanse

Sits a key that you can’t see

Searching sickens your mind

You’re forgetting-

-who you are…

what you want…

The only thing of which you’re sure

is what you want’s beyond that door

And finally, you find…

The exit.

Would you take it?

[][][][] Leaving

Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier on a beach somewhere, nothing in my pockets, with no one waiting for me to come home.

I toy with the idea of leaving, without telling her or my family, without giving notice at my three jobs.

The problem is, thinking about that water makes me so content, I lose my reasons to leave.

[][][][] Up The Stairs

I watch your ass sway in that black dress

Hardly the first woman I’ve followed upstairs

But your perfect, unattainable curves pull me closer

And again I think,

If you let me take you in my arms,

Pull up your dress

And possess you

If you let me lay by your breasts

Once I’ve undressed you

And if you let me follow you

To watch your body sway

Then stairs or no stairs

I would stay

[][][][] The Cycle

Sometimes I know how much you love me

And I dream of us

Together

Happy

Other times,

I wonder if he’s touching you

like he did that night

Sheets bunched up in my hands,

I wonder if you’re kissing him

with your friend kisses

like you did before.

On harder nights,

I imagine he’s there,

looking over your body

as I tell you, over the phone, how much I love you…

And I tell myself not to be jealous

And sometimes it works,

but other times, my memory works too well…

and I see the time you told me that you never kissed him anymore,

when you said you weren’t in love with him—

that the two of you had never been passionate like we are.

And I choke, sickened, climbing upward for air.

But that’s the jealousy speaking—

The dragon that sometimes awakens

and engulfs the happiness in flames.

When the dragon appears,

as a matter of self preservation,

even more than I care about you,

I want that awful beast

to be the thing

that burns.

[][][][] Wharf Priest

By the Water

I see

The leached remains of grand dreams

Without asking, they sit and talk to me—

help themselves to my food…

They talk about why they’re actually good parents

About the pains of having a lover

die in their arms

Of how nothing that happened was ever their fault

Some look to me for guidance—

To tell them what to do with their lives

Others, simply to agree that their past actions,

–The violence, the disloyalty–

however ignoble

were fully justified

They offer me cigarettes in exchange

and occasionally I grace them with a nod…

They never let me read

[][][][] Last One

Sometimes I don’t stop to breathe I want you so bad

And it would all be worth it

If I had you.

Sometimes I think

“Just a little bit more.

Maybe if I work a little harder.”

But when I work I don’t see you

And I miss you

And I’m tired

And I’m worried the lack of sleep will dull me in your eyes.

And I don’t want to be dull.

I want to light up your life the way you light up mine.

I could work 23 hours with a smile.

If you were mine for the last one.

[][][][] Let Me Wake Up

To end a dream

without the things

of which the dream has told

—The lips to kiss

The hands to hold—

Is not as bad you might think

For dreams will fade upon our wake

But dreams that stay and don’t come true—

It’s those that cause the greater ache

[][][][] Then Jack Frost Came to Me

‘Twas on the saddest, lonely night that Jack Frost came to me

He said he had a separate gift from turning things to whitest snow

And if I would but come and see, his gift I’d come to know

I didn’t even speak reply

I closed my window

Shut my eyes

And then I went to sleep

But in my dreams, began to weep

So far removed from any light

I’d never felt so all alone on any other night

So when I woke, just after three

to find Jack standing over me

I told the boy, “Alright”

And so we ventured in the night

But never did I stop to cry

And still, I walked

Forever on

And didn’t think to ask him why

[][][][] Thoughts

Why is it,

that when everyone else seems okay

I sometimes have to be reminded

with gentle loving words,

that it’s worth living here?

[][][][] Songs by the Water

She sang to him. And it was beautiful. And he wanted to open the door to tell her how beautiful it was. But he knew that if he sat there, it would all be over. He wouldn’t have to be kept in the dark any longer… If he stayed with his back against the wall, the beautiful voice couldn’t fill him again with love – the slowest of poisons. And yet, it is the singing, not the yelling, that never stops.

[][][][] Seeds

I love you more than you will ever know

But seeds caught in the wind will never grow

[][][][][] We Can’t Say ‘Goodbye’

If she returns

Will I still take her for an angel?

Or will her beauty have a different quality—

masked by wariness?

Will I feel things as I once did—

the powerful all-consuming need

to devote my life to her happiness?

Maybe.

I’m scared to say it,

but this time,

if it were real,

I still hope so

_____________________________

If you’ve enjoyed this free poetry book, and would like to see more of Mitchell Bogatz’s work, please support the author by purchasing his novel, Tiny Instruments, on sale now for $7.99.


Without An Angel

  • Author: Mitchell Bogatz
  • Published: 2016-03-20 04:20:21
  • Words: 5592
Without An Angel Without An Angel