Copyright 2017 Mario V. Farina
Shakespir Edition, License Notes
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“What will annoy me about you if we wed?” Jeannie asked.
Somewhat surprised by the question, Ted Wroth thought for a moment. “I have lots of faults,” he replied. “I’m not sure which would annoy you?”
Jeannie Gray and Theodore (Ted) Wroth were sitting on the grass near the Hudson River. They had spent some time walking along the river, talking about their upcoming wedding in June, and making long-term plans for a happy life together. Jeannie had told a joke about having enough kids to build a baseball team, and they had laughed.
“Give me an example of your faults. I promise I’ll do the same about me,” she said.
“I splash a lot!” he said.
“Tell me more,” she retorted.
“When I’m in the bathroom rinsing my hands or shaving, I do it with some gusto,” he said. Water splashes, and wets the floor. I usually put a large towel on the floor to absorb some of the wetness. When I’m done I toss the towel in the bathtub or put it on the radiator if it’s winter. Sometimes after a shower, I’ll walk around the house tracking water on the carpet.”
“I’m more neat,” said Jeannie. “That might annoy me. What else do you do that might annoy me? What you’ve said is not bad, though!”
“Why do you want to know these things?” asked Ted. “You’re not having second thoughts are you? Why did you say if we wed? We’re engaged, remember?”
“Just joshing,” she said. “Looking ahead. There’s no if. Just seeing what adjustments I might need to make. What’s another thing?”
“I make a mess when I cook,” she said. “When I cook, oil spatters all over the range. I don’t wash the dishes right away. I just put ‘em in the sink. I don’t put herbs back on the shelf and food in the refrigerator. I get around to those things eventually, but not when I should. You might find that annoying.”
“I’m the opposite,” commented Jeannie. I do everything that needs to be done right away.”
“What I do would annoy you?” asked Ted with a worried look on his face.
“Oh, a little, I suppose, but I think you would follow my examples. Nothing here worth worrying about!”
“Thank goodness,” he exclaimed.
“You’re not off the hook yet,” she rejoined. “What else do I need to know about? ‘Fess up!”
“I hate getting up out of bed!” he remarked quickly. “I’m a night owl. Going to bed at two is not unusual for me.”
“Wow!” she said. “That’s a bad one, but I have some ideas for getting you trained better. I’ll make sure the clock radio is on your side of the bed and is working fine. I’m sure we’ll both be working at first and I’ll wake you up when I get up!”
There was a pause. “Do I pass?” he asked.
“Just barely, so far,” she smiled. “Something else?”
“No, I don’t think so!”
“Come on! Think hard! What’s the next one?”
“I’m not good at making repairs,” Ted admitted. “I don’t know anything about electricity or engines,” he continued. If the car breaks down, I would need to call Triple A. If the toaster quits, I’d buy a new one. I even have trouble installing a new battery in the wall clock when it stops. I know you’d rather be married to someone more handy. I’m all thumbs. This would annoy you, I’m sure!”
“No,” said Jeannie. You don’t need to be good with your hands. You’re a good accountant. Brain work is just a hard as brawn. We’ll cover the repairs with good insurance and backups. Besides, I took a course in high school called “Home Repairs for Women.” If something breaks, I’ll try my hand at fixing it!”
“How talented, you are!” he mumbled. “Did you, by any chance take Accounting in school?”
“No,” she laughed. “You’ll do the figuring in the family.”
“Great,” he replied with an exaggerated sigh.
“Just one more thing,” she said. “Then I’ll end the inquisition!”
“Can’t think of anything,” he objected.
“Come on, just one more! What about sports?”
“Now, you’ve got me,” he said grudgingly. “This is going to bother you. I’m a sports fan, baseball, football, basketball. If the game has a ball, I love it. I spend a lot of time watching the games and hollering at the TV!”
“Yes, and soccer!” he replied.
“Yes, and bocce ball!”
“Any more?” she asked.
“Lacrosse, skiing, jai alai, tennis. I could go on and on!”
“It seems like a never-ending list,” she observed. Her face took on a sorrowful look. You mean all this?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so!”
“Any chance this might change?”
“No chance at all?”
“Have you any idea what all this means?” she asked sadly?
“I’m afraid to ask,” Ted said.
“I love it!” she declared. “All I really wanted to know is how you feel about sports. We’re going to get along really well! I’m an avid sports fan too!”
Jeannie Gray and Ted Wroth were having a conversation about their upcoming marriage. Jeannie asked, "What will annoy me about you if we wed?" Ted was surprised by the questions but he did admit to faults like splashing water over the floor, making a mess while cooking, and being all thumbs in making repairs. They got on the topic of sports. What Ted said caused Jeannine to make a crucial decision. This story tells what it was.