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Welcome to Dumbbells Anonymous

Welcome to Dumbbells Anonymous

By

Mario V. Farina

Copyright 2017 Mario V. Farina

Shakespir Edition

Shakespir Edition, License Notes

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,

Electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information

Storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

Correspondence may be directed to:

Mario V. Farina

Email: mario@mariofarina.com

“Welcome to Dumbbells Anonymous,” said Harriet Wilson to the class. “You have come here as volunteers because you believe what the advertisement stated, that learning English is a worthwhile objective. I created DA, Dumbbells Anonymous, for people like you, who realized that, somewhere along the line, you had formed the habit of speaking like a dumbbell. You now believe that your failure to speak well, can hurt you in your business and personal life.”

“Before we begin, I’d like to tell you,” she continued, “that your inability to use the correct words at critical times, is probably not your fault. You may speak like dumbbells, but you are not that, really. You may have picked up the way you speak from the street, or even in class, where your teacher was inept. Today, we will begin the exciting journey to a goal where you will be able to state, ‘ I am no longer a dumbbell.’”

“Please forgive me if, sometimes, I may speak brusquely to you. I feel very strongly about this topic. Sometimes, my teeth curl as if soaked in brine, whenever I hear an outrageous use of the language I love. I almost want to blow whistle, stop the conversation, and tell the offender what is the correct way to state what he or she wanted to say. I’ll try not to be that ill-mannered in this class.”

“I’ve written on the board several of my pet dislikes. It has to do with the way some people express what happened in the past. In grammar class, what happened in the past is referred to as the past tense. If a person viewed something in the past, the correct way to tell about this is to say:”

“I saw it.

not

I seen it.”

“The word, seen, is not the past tense of the verb, see. Make this your first resolution, never to say I seen when you should say I saw.”

“On the board, is written, he seen. What I have said applies to whoever is speaking. It doesn’t matter whether it’s I seen, you seen, he seen, we seen, or they seen; it’s all the same. In all cases, seen, should be saw.”

“The second example on the board is, he done. They should be, he did! The word, did, is the correct word to use when using the past tense of the word, do.”

“An example of what you might be about to say might be:”

“I done the assignment during the time allowed.”

“This would be wrong.

The right way to say this, would be, ‘I did the assignment during the time allowed.’”

“The next example that you see on the board is, ‘he come.’ Someone, may be trying to say this:”

“When he come to breakfast late, I told him that he was out of luck.”

“In that sentence, the word, come, should be, came. The right way to say this, would be:”

“When he came to breakfast late, I told him that he was out of luck.”

“The word, came, is the correct word for the past tense of the verb, come.”

“The next example on the board is, he don’t. This should be, he doesn’t. The word, don’t, is an abbreviation for the two words, do not. When you say, he don’t, you are really saying, he do not.”

“Be sure to use, don’t when you intend to say do not, not when you intend to say does not. An example might be:”

“She don’t do anything right.

This should be:

She doesn’t do anything right.”

“The last example on the board is, ‘me and Ann.’ An example of a complete sentence, using this phrase might be:”

“Me and Ann went to dinner.”

This is an incorrect way to express the idea. Never use the word name me at the beginning of a sentence. If you and another person are doing something, the correct way to express the idea is to say it, as in the following example,

“Ann and I went to dinner.”

“The name of the other person is shown first,, and I.”

“I believe this first lesson, as a member of Dumbbells Anonymous is sufficient. We have time for just one question. Does anyone have a question they would like to ask?”

Adele Robinson raised her hand. “Ms. Wilson,” she began, “why is it necessary to speak correctly when, the important thing is simply to be understood?”

“The answer is very simple, Ms. Robinson, replied Harriet. “As you go about your normal routines during the day, you are being judged constantly by others. How you speak tells a great deal about your education. Often, the level of your education is not important. However, there may be times when it becomes a critical factor in a life-changing event. You may be applying for a good position in a company. The interviewer may ask you questions. How you answer will be important. You may constantly use some of the errors that I have discussed today. This may be the one reason you don’t get the position.”

“There may be other events that are important. For example, you may be applying for a loan at a bank, or speaking in your own defense in court on a civil matter, or you may be attempting to sell a product to an important customer. In these cases, whether or not you are successful in your endeavor, may hinge on the way that you express your thoughts.”

“Thank you for coming. The next meeting will be a week from today at the same time.”


Welcome to Dumbbells Anonymous

  • ISBN: 9781370000036
  • Author: Mario V. Farina
  • Published: 2017-01-25 07:50:08
  • Words: 1005
Welcome to Dumbbells Anonymous Welcome to Dumbbells Anonymous