Unfollowed
Edgar Million
Unfollowed
Published by Edgar Million at Shakespir
Copyright 2016 Edgar Million
[* A selection of tweets by @IAmANArtistInTheMaking directed @RandomLondonCleb: *]
Wow. You’re so cool. That was really funny.
31/01/2015
I know you’ll never have the time to respond to this, but as a fellow artist, I admire your work so much. #DontHumbleBragThis
01/01/2016
I agree. He’s such an arsehole.
16/01/2016
That’s very clever.
17/01/2016
Your art moves me so much. I feel such a connection. Follow me and pm me if you feel it to.
24/01/2016
Only joking. Late night tweets make me sound like a stalker. #NotCrazy
24/01/2016
I love you.
24/01/2016
I meant to say I love your work. #EpicFail
26/01/2016
I wish I could get just one RT or response from you but I get how you must be dead busy.
27/01/2016
Hi. This is for a good cause. Charidy. My sister is doing run for cancer. Please RT.
01/02/2016
Sorry to keep asking you for RTs. Aware you’re far too special to engage with us proles. #We’reJustTheFuckingAudience
01/02/2016
#WePayYourWages Ignore us at your peril.
02/02/2016
Only kidding. Seriously, is thing working [Taps Mike]. Can you hear me?
02/02/2016
Hey man, if you don’t stop whining on about politics I’m going to be forced to unfollow you. #SeriousThreat
02/02/2016
Dude. You used to be so cool.
05/02/2016
I put a new thing on YouTube about your work. Please RT.
06/02/2016
Please RT.
07/02/2016
Please RT.
07/02/2016
I bet you think you’re shit don’t stink.
08/02/2016
Wow. @RandomLondonCleb has blocked me. What a fucking bitch. He don't like to hear it like it is!
08/02/2016
I love you.
08/02/2016
Please RT.
09/02/2016
Bitch.
09/02/2016
Hey, @RandomLondonCleb, turns out twitter let's me create new twitter accounts so even if you block me I can remind you what a #BellEnd you are.
11/02/2016
Block away bitch, I’ve got all night. I’ve got all day.
12/02/2016
BLOCK ME AGAIN. I’LL KILL YOU.
14/02/2016
Do you like the photo I took of your front door.
14/02/2016
RT that. Bitch.
14/02/2016
Your son looks cute on his school uniform, BTW. Kudos on not going private.
14/02/2016
@RandomLondonCleb, you’ve so forgotten you’re roots. You’re front door is super bourgeois by the way.
17/02/2016
Hey, don’t take me too serious. I suppose it comes with the territory. Being famous. But don’t forget you routes dude.
17/02/2016
Your new stuff sucks. Just kidding. Still, liked your early stuff better.
19/02/2016
Please RT the attached. Forward good cause.
20/02/2016
I wrote a poem. The Darkness of whimsy. It’s my best work. Please RT.
21/02/2016
You must hate your fans. You’re so, distant. Here’s a a photo of your Bitch asked son to make you aware how ‘close’ some of us are.
21/02/2016
Hey @RandomLondonCleb. Didn't mean to make you feel freaked. Won't RT door again. You're garden looks the bollix tho. Wife a sort.
24/02/2016
Or the boy.
24/02/2016
I read that article you wrote. #Moved #PleaseRetweet
28/02/2016
Call the cops. See if I care.
29/02/2016
Do you like my cat? She’s cute. #PleaseRetweet
29/02/2026
Bastard.
29/02/2016
Poor darling. Did I use WiFi hotspots and Internet Cafés? How dare you send the police after me.
02/03/2016
Catch me if you can.
03/03/2016
Botch.
03/03/2016
Secret: you can’t (catch me).
04/03/2016
In return here’s a new picture of your son going to school. Would you like to see one where he has a broken nose.
06/03/2016
Please RT.
10/03/2016
I’m not enough of a artist for you to speak to me? I’m working in a new medium now.
11/03/2016
Bitch.
11/03/2016
Does your son need all his limbs?
12/03/2016
Please RT.
13/03/2016
Sorry, I’ve been a bit arsey lately. I wrote a new poem. I’ll play nice if you give me a retreat though.
13/02/2016
Fuck you. We can’t all be special (overrated) like you. You just got lucky then pulled up the ladder behind you #WePayYourWages
21/02/2016
#WePayYourWages
24/02/2016
Hey look, you’re front door again. But it’s open now.
30/03/2016
Who could have don’t that.?
30/03/2016
Please RT if you can.
30/03/2016
You’re look so peaceful when you sleep. I really love you and you’re work.
30/03/2016
I want to wake you. You’ll understand what I’m about once we speak.
30/03/2016
Connect.
30/03/2016
I wanted to connect. Why are you on Twitter if you won’t speak to you’re fans.
30/03/2016
Why did you shout like that? Why did you have to make all that noise?
30/03/2016
Last tweet (forever?). Whenever anyone says your name they will also remember mine.
30/03/2016
I can hear sirens and the coppery taste of blood makes my tongue feel numb.
30/03/2016
You’re should have talked to me.
30/03/2016
Guess what though.
30/03/2016
I’m famous now.
30/03/2016
Consider yourself unfollweded.
30/03/2016
Acknowledgements
Thanks to Paul Lewin for the use of his image under a CC License: https://www.flickr.com/photos/digypho/27019019554/
Thanks
Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Ordinarily I ask people to let me know if they find any typos, but the ones above are all on purpose (mostly). Please follow me on Twitter at @edgarmillion . Or don’t. Promise I’m cool either way.