Published by Edgar Million at Shakespir
Copyright 2016 Edgar Million
[* A selection of tweets by @IAmANArtistInTheMaking directed @RandomLondonCleb: *]
Wow. You’re so cool. That was really funny.
I know you’ll never have the time to respond to this, but as a fellow artist, I admire your work so much. #DontHumbleBragThis
I agree. He’s such an arsehole.
That’s very clever.
Your art moves me so much. I feel such a connection. Follow me and pm me if you feel it to.
Only joking. Late night tweets make me sound like a stalker. #NotCrazy
I love you.
I meant to say I love your work. #EpicFail
I wish I could get just one RT or response from you but I get how you must be dead busy.
Hi. This is for a good cause. Charidy. My sister is doing run for cancer. Please RT.
Sorry to keep asking you for RTs. Aware you’re far too special to engage with us proles. #We’reJustTheFuckingAudience
#WePayYourWages Ignore us at your peril.
Only kidding. Seriously, is thing working [Taps Mike]. Can you hear me?
Hey man, if you don’t stop whining on about politics I’m going to be forced to unfollow you. #SeriousThreat
Dude. You used to be so cool.
I put a new thing on YouTube about your work. Please RT.
I bet you think you’re shit don’t stink.
Wow. @RandomLondonCleb has blocked me. What a fucking bitch. He don't like to hear it like it is!
I love you.
Hey, @RandomLondonCleb, turns out twitter let's me create new twitter accounts so even if you block me I can remind you what a #BellEnd you are.
Block away bitch, I’ve got all night. I’ve got all day.
BLOCK ME AGAIN. I’LL KILL YOU.
Do you like the photo I took of your front door.
RT that. Bitch.
Your son looks cute on his school uniform, BTW. Kudos on not going private.
@RandomLondonCleb, you’ve so forgotten you’re roots. You’re front door is super bourgeois by the way.
Hey, don’t take me too serious. I suppose it comes with the territory. Being famous. But don’t forget you routes dude.
Your new stuff sucks. Just kidding. Still, liked your early stuff better.
Please RT the attached. Forward good cause.
I wrote a poem. The Darkness of whimsy. It’s my best work. Please RT.
You must hate your fans. You’re so, distant. Here’s a a photo of your Bitch asked son to make you aware how ‘close’ some of us are.
Hey @RandomLondonCleb. Didn't mean to make you feel freaked. Won't RT door again. You're garden looks the bollix tho. Wife a sort.
Or the boy.
I read that article you wrote. #Moved #PleaseRetweet
Call the cops. See if I care.
Do you like my cat? She’s cute. #PleaseRetweet
Poor darling. Did I use WiFi hotspots and Internet Cafés? How dare you send the police after me.
Catch me if you can.
Secret: you can’t (catch me).
In return here’s a new picture of your son going to school. Would you like to see one where he has a broken nose.
I’m not enough of a artist for you to speak to me? I’m working in a new medium now.
Does your son need all his limbs?
Sorry, I’ve been a bit arsey lately. I wrote a new poem. I’ll play nice if you give me a retreat though.
Fuck you. We can’t all be special (overrated) like you. You just got lucky then pulled up the ladder behind you #WePayYourWages
Hey look, you’re front door again. But it’s open now.
Who could have don’t that.?
Please RT if you can.
You’re look so peaceful when you sleep. I really love you and you’re work.
I want to wake you. You’ll understand what I’m about once we speak.
I wanted to connect. Why are you on Twitter if you won’t speak to you’re fans.
Why did you shout like that? Why did you have to make all that noise?
Last tweet (forever?). Whenever anyone says your name they will also remember mine.
I can hear sirens and the coppery taste of blood makes my tongue feel numb.
You’re should have talked to me.
Guess what though.
I’m famous now.
Consider yourself unfollweded.
Thanks to Paul Lewin for the use of his image under a CC License:
Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Ordinarily I ask people to let me know if they find any typos, but the ones above are all on purpose (mostly). Please follow me on Twitter at @edgarmillion . Or don’t. Promise I’m cool either way.