Blake Ryan and Kate Hylla
Blake Ryan and Kate Hylla
TRUTH TOLD Copyright © 2015 by Blake Ryan
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any matter whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locals, or organizations are entirely coincidental.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be resold or given away to another person. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you’d like to share it with. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
Cover Photography Bigstock.com-Cover Design Blake Ryan
Editor Kate Hylla at Envyme Writing Services (Find her on Facebook or )
Book Formatting by Derek Murphy @Creativindie
First Edition: October 2015
Apple’s Lyric album
Message from Author
I’d never thought I would be here in a million years. You hear about this stuff on the late night news. It may happen to other people. But when it happens to you it feels so unreal. A tear drop descends from my eyes and lands on my mother’s cheek. My beautiful mother now looks like death. My eyes roam around her face and rest on her coffee mocha complexion. “God!” I plead with Him. Then, the anger rises up in my soul. “Why! Why is this happening to her? Why her?” Heartache, like I’d never felt, invades my chest.
“Mom, don’t leave me…” I say in a faint whisper. With the strength that’s left in her she grabs my hand. She smiles weakly. Her golden honey eyes search mine. Her breath becomes weak and she shouldn’t be trying to speak to me. My eyes spot the area on her neck where the bee sting is. A very vile rash rises up in that area. Her pulse is pounding heavily. She looks up at me from the dirt where she was working in the garden. Her eyes filled with woe . The EMT’s arrive, put her on a stretcher and race her to the emergency room.
A little while later from her hospital bed, continuing where she left off, she wipes the tears away from my eyes with her thumb. It’s pointless though because more tears fall as my heart breaks. “Mom!” I howl out. “Please don’t leave me here- you’re all I have.” Her eyes deaden. “Apple,” she says, “There’s something I need to tell you. Something that I’ve been scared to tell anyone about,” she fights the tears back. “Mom you need to rest,” I interrupt. “No, Apple! Let me talk,” she demands. “My beautiful girl, I’m so, so sorry I kept it hidden for so many years,” she says. My eyes follow her dolce lips. Her eyes close and in a faint whisper she manages “Apple truth told your biological father is…” as her voice trails off.
The heart monitor she is hooked up to flat lines. “No!” I holler out at her, shaking my mother’s now lifeless body. Hospital nurses come running in and there’s a flurry of activity all around her. I get bumped out of the way and I’m hurried out of the room.
I grab my chest because it feels like I’m having a full blown heart attack. I cry and cry. My world just ended. Emptiness and pain has swallowed me up whole. I feel death all around me. I just lost my mother and my best friend in the entire world. I’m an orphan. The blood rushes to my head and everything goes dark.
Sometime later I awaken on a hospital couch and I’m being cradled in my boyfriend’s lap. “Shh…you don’t need to talk now. Just rest,” he says, placing a mild kiss on my forehead. I do as I’m told. But then remembering what happened, I imagine being cradled in my heavenly Father’s hands and the tears come back like a flood.
Three months later…
Life just doesn’t feel the same since my mother left this world. If it wasn’t for my boyfriend, Luke, I would still be lying in bed depressed not wanting to go on with my life. My mind keeps going back over her last words. She was finally going to tell me who my father was but her life was taken away from her too soon. As a little girl I always wondered and dreamt of who my father was and what he was like. My extremely handsome godfather, Moses, called me out of the blue. He was worried about me. He didn’t want me to disappear off of the face of the earth after my mother’s passing. As a result, he invited me and my besties for a little getaway in Austria where he and his wife Debby stay. (My godfather and I are seventeen years apart.) For the past seven years my godfather and his wife have been having infertility problems.
You think she would give up after three miscarriages. I glance down at my godfather’s portrait and trace his face with my finger. It’s hard to believe that my mother and he never dated. My godfather can so pass as Matt Cohen. He’s Caucasian unlike my late mother and me. I’m biracial but I look mostly Caucasian and my late mother is African American. The cocktail sun peaks through an opening in my bedroom window. I exhale and then roll out of bed. My gardening isn’t going to get done if I continue to lay here mop. So, I head outside.
Perspiration drips from my body onto the crumbly dirt underneath me. It’s fall and I want my sedum to grow. My entire life has been about trying to unfold my mother’s secret about whom my father is. To our shock and disbelief, she died after getting stung by a bee. No one ever knew that she was allergic to bees, not even her. Flower petals fall onto the ground as I snipe away.
She took the secret of who my biological father is with her to the grave. I personally hate women who do that to their children. It’s completely unforgivable. I glance over the garden to see if Luke is anywhere in sight. Earlier on the phone he said that he would drop off my airplane tickets.
“This chilly weather is not what I was prepared for. I don’t know how people in Madison, Wisconsin do it, Apple.” Luke says. “Over here,” I call out. Luke makes his way over to me. He tells me all the time that he doesn’t know how he won me over. The truth is I don’t know what he saw in me. I’m average looking with ginger hair. I’m an ordinary girl who loves worshipping Jesus and fashion. I also happen to love a krispy kreme doughnut and a dolce latte every now and then. He cups my face and kisses me.
“Our plane leaves in an hour, come on,” he says. “I’ll meet you in the car.” I rise to my feet and leave the dirt stains on my knees. I run through the open path that leads to the front porch. I place my Royal leather bag over me and grab my oversized suitcase, meeting Luke in the car. He drives us to the airport nearly killing us in the process because of the reckless driving habit he has. I kissed the nasty pavement upon arrival because I was so grateful to be alive.
The loud chatter of business people complaining about late flights and the roar of the sound of jet engines coming alive fill our ears. I bump into a giant of a man on our way over to the line. His nose flares as he looks at me with death in his eyes. I said I was sorry but I guess that wasn’t good enough for him. I felt his death gaze upon me until we boarded the plane.
Up in the air I got motion sickness. That little brown paper bag I packed came in handy. Luke catered to me the entire time. I was the girl that nobody ever wanted to sit next to on an airplane. The smell of my own vomit made me vomit more. I did everyone on the airplane a favor and took NyQuil. As soon as the warm liquid touched the surface of my throat I was out cold.
Hours later my eyes flicker open just as we were landing. Departing from the airplane I lock eyes on Meadow. Luke neglected to tell me that Meadow, our best friend, would be joining us. The people in the airport were super nice and friendly. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought I was watching a scene from the Stepford wives. Everyone from the women, men and children looked perfect. Every last hair was in place.
Their teeth were straight and bright. Their smiles were perfection. Everywhere you turned you were greeted with the warmest hug ever. Zoey, an elderly Lady, reminded me of my grandmother. She was lively, loud and one heck of a dresser. We exit the doors with our belongings in hand. I exhale and then inhale the salty scented air. Luke waves us down a taxi cab.
Our taxi cab rolls over a gray stone bridge that I remember from my childhood. I enjoy looking at the fertile landscape as it takes us up the mountain. I sense Luke’s eyes on me so I smile. “You know what we have to do once we arrive,” He says. “I’m sure the whole world knows, Luke.” Meadow replies, teasing him. He elbows her on her side. “Hey!” she exclaims. “Apple, you better get your boyfriend under control.” I roll my eyes. “Luke!” I whisper in his ear, “If you keep it up you’re going to be sleeping outside with the mountain lions.”
A laugh escapes me. The taxi stops in front of my godfather’s isolated, red brick house. Many large windows allow a grand view of the entire downstairs, flooding the home with natural light. I notice overgrown Orange Blossom encircling the yard. The garden definitely needs some attention, I thought to myself. I’m the first one out of the car, stretching my legs. As my eyes wander around the area I find myself twirling as the wind picks up, leaves rustling all around me. I don’t knock on the door like a normal person would do. I let myself in and scuttle upstairs to the outside balcony. Over the years, this balcony has become my second home and favorite location. Supernatural things happen here and I’m not talking about black magic. My godfather, Moses, is a world renowned songwriter. I spot his guitar leaning against the balcony and run my emaciated long fingers over it. The sun glimmers down on me and the skies open up. Lord, I am here for you /I am here to sing your praise/Children and adults love you/We’re in awe of you…
The song arises from my soul. I make the melody up as I go.
Jesus you’re holy, holy, holy/Lord you’re mighty, mighty /With our hands held high you inhabit our praise /Jesus you’re holy, holy, holy/We sing to you/with song and dance/through the beat /of love that flows from within.
Luke opens the door to the balcony, smiles, and he and Meadow join me. Soon, he is on his knees in surrender with lifted hands. Meadow, on the other hand, is no longer on earth. I can’t keep my Doc Martens on the ground because God’s presence is so sweet. A sudden burst of rushing wind embraces us. I twirl and twirl for days it seems and time stands still. I’m dizzy but I don’t mind.
A vision appears and plays like an Instagram gift and the joy of the Lord becomes our new praise. The joy of the Lord is my strength fills the atmosphere. At some point our worship session winds down and we’re all giggling . Our hair is a mess because of the wind blowing. Every three seconds my hair whacks me in the face! I giggle some more I just can’t help myself the joy of the Lord will do that to you.
Luke and I leave the terrace and end up relaxing on the living room sofa, holding hands. Someone clamors in and is not concerned that our peaceful moment has been rudely interrupted. We jump to our feet like we’ve been caught. The sunlight shines on the songwriting awards that cover the walls. My ocean blue eyes twinkle, not believing the image I see. Oh how I’ve missed my godfather! Moses and his wife Debby walk into the living room. “Moses! It’s so good to see you! Who is this little princess? She’s sweet is she yours?” I ask curiously. My godfather’s eyes widen. “She’s sweet is she yours?” the little girl repeats with her big green eyes on me. Laughter fills the hallway. “I see we have a little mocking Jay on our hands I think to myself.”
“No, she’s my niece, Lily, and we’re babysitting,” Moses replies. She skips over to me and squeezes the life out of me. My color leaves me. “We’re going to be besties forever,” she says. I scoop her up and smooch all over her cute face.
My godfather’s eyebrows raise noticeably. “Apple, I’m glad you’re here, she’s a busy little girl,” he says, watching her run around the room. Her petite ruby lips purse a little, her green eyes perk up and her forehead wrinkles. “Isn’t she adorable?” Debby asks, chuckling at the same time.My eyes glance over Debby. Her skin is flawless. Her hair is long and blonde and her eyes are a deep hazel color. It seems they can see through your soul. “Yes, she is,” Meadow says, taking her from me. Meadow makes the most bizarre faces at the little girl. “Meadow, stop before you give her nightmares!” Laughter fills the room once more. “Apple, my favorite person, it’s so good to see you. It's been what- three years?” Moses asks. “Yes, godfather.” He kisses my cheek and afterwards he and his wife walk away, leaving us alone with the child. Six eyes are fastened on her every move. “Hi, I’m Lily because I’m God’s Lily of the alley!” she boldly proclaims. The three of us exchange looks before more laughter erupts. Through her long curly lashes she peeks at us and her eyes are drifting all over. “What?” she asks, innocently.
Feathered creatures that are unfamiliar to me soar through the vast sapphire heavens. They’re a little too noisy for my liking. Lily, watching through her bright, excited eyes, darts after them. Lily’s heart shaped head with two ponytails bounce up and down as she runs off. Her chubbiness reminds me of someone. I continue to watch Lily’s pony tails jump around in the wind as she runs around. Luke leans his forehead to mine and steals a kiss. “Gross!” she hollers. Luke and I smile.
She subsequently comes tugging on my blouse. I lose my balance descending forward to the ground. Luckily, my godfather arrives just in time and he leans over to break my fall with his arms. “Sorry, she’s strong for her age,” he says. Grinning ear to ear he helps me to my feet. “Sorry, Apple,” she says with those beautiful eyes. “It’s okay.” My godfather tilts his head, trying to seize my attention. “Excuse me,” I say to Luke and Lily. “Don’t be too long,” they say in harmony. I hear chortle behind me. I turn around and follow after my godfather. He leads me inside and upstairs to the dusty attic ever.My gaze lingers on my surroundings. It doesn’t look like anyone has been up here in ages. Gigantic spider webs cover the attic’s wood corners. My eyes inspect the abundant boxes stacked high. This place is a hoarder’s dream. And my worst nightmare. My godfather proceeds to the left, dusts off a box with his hand and then digs in. My long legs stride over to him. “Apple, when your dear mother asked me to be your godfather I was flabbergasted.” He peeks up at me every now and then between perusing. “Why?” I ask, being slightly nosy. “Because she wrecked my heart, burned it, and then threw my ashes to the ground,” he admits with a sober face.
My jaw drops revealing my not so perfect teeth. The atmosphere suddenly changes all around me. I can feel the blood rushing to my head and I feel like passing out. If I could run out of here I would but my legs are growing rapidly weaker by the second. My knees hit the floor and nothing escapes from my mouth. Why is he telling me this? The questions invade my mind. I wonder if the sight of me makes him sick? My mother and I are identical. My godfather yaks on. “You look just like her. The only difference is your skin complexion.” I lower my head in my hands. This can only get worse, I think to myself. He finally finds what he is searching for. “Here it is,” he says, rubbing the dust off with his hands and making me sneeze. I stare at him. I stare at the dusty, black leather book. He hands it to me.
He runs his fingers through his shiny hair. Well, what’s left of it. My godfather has a patch of brown hair in the center of his head while the rest is shaved thin. I analyze his appearance and my gaze resides on his brown Boss Hugo leather jacket. He catches me. His left brow rises up.
“Apple, are you day dreaming about me again?” he asks, teasing me as he rises to his feet. “Here, let me.” I set the book down. “How did you know I used to daydream about you?” I ask, curiously. Knocking the dust from his Boss Hugo Delaware jeans, he smiles and shows his teeth. He smiles just like Theo James.
“Now if I told you that I wouldn’t still be here,” Moses says. “You’re good.” I collect the book in my hand and rise to my feet. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into a cuddle. “No, Moses!” I say sternly. “Who told you?” I demand. He kisses my forehead. Out of nowhere something or someone skyrockets past us. My heart hammers hard inside of my chest. “What was that?” I say before the sound of mirth occurs.
“Ha ha ha, it was me,” Lily says. She’s tickled pink to the core. She toddles over to us with her emerald eyes shining. “Did I scare you guys?” she asks. “My daddy does it to me all the time,” she says, referring to Moses’ brother. “Your daddy is mean.” The words tumble out of my mouth. “Apple,” my godfather says, nudging me in my side. “What? And that hurt follows. I feel where it hurts at,”
“I know girlfriend, right?” Referring to her dad being mean . Lily speaks so maturely sometimes, placing her tiny hands on her tiny hips-not like she’s three years old. “Where does she gets this from?” I ask. “Beats me,” he says. Unsettling screams from Debby erupt from somewhere downstairs. I glance down because I feel Lily’s snug grip on me. She’s holding on for her dear life. My godfather’s relaxed features are now uneasy. His eyebrows are raised and drawn close. “Lily, it’s ok,” he says, stroking her back soothingly.
Before I can get a word out he sprints out of there to find his wife. The only thing you see is a series of his shoe prints that were left in the dust. I collect Lily and go downstairs with her. “What’s going on?” I ask, looking at both Luke and Meadow. They both have concerned looks on their faces. “I don’t know. Debby seemed fine until she went into the bathroom,” he says. “The bathroom,” I repeated, pondering what he just said. “What’s that?” Luke asks, squinting down at the book. His eyes are so close that they look shut. Without asking he takes it from me and flicks through it. Meadow is at it again making obnoxious looks at Lily. What did this little child ever do to you? I think to myself. Luke shoots me a troubled look. “What’s wrong?” I ask, curiously. “You won’t believe this,” he says, holding the book up so that I can see. “Oh no, she has that look,” Meadow says, taking Lily from me. I snatch the book from his hand, my eyes broaden in their place. “My-my Mother and Moses were an item?!” I exclaim before everything turns black, I faint and tumble over. I soon feel throbbing pain. Warm, small hands smack me all over my face. “Apple, Apple, Apple-wake up!” Lily commands. “Is she dead?” My eyes struggle to open.
I press my ear up against Moses’s and Debby’s frigid bedroom door. I don’t hear any voices but then the wailing begins. My spirit breaks for her. Her cries are full of anguish and I clutch tightly onto my gold cross neckless that dangles from my long neck. With each cry my heart breaks. I listen to every word. “How could this happen to me-happen to us again? I really thought this time would be different. I had faith. I had a lot of faith.” Moses replies, “Baby, I don’t know why this area in our life has always been so dry. But I know firsthand that when things are disappointing you, you don’t lose hope! You turn to God and surrender. Maybe it’s time for us to surrender to God our desire to have a baby,” I hear through the wood door as she continues to cry.
Moses opens the bedroom door and as I step back our eyes meet and he manages a half smile before walking away. It looks like he’s heading to the kitchen so I follow him. In the kitchen, he pours himself a cup of Oprah Cinnamon Chai steaming tea. The steam swirls tall in the air. Next, he sits down at the square table. The smell of cinnamon remains in the air. “Apple, God exposed something to me,” he says. He blows on his tea to cool it down. “Hold that thought,” I say as I pour myself a cup of tea. I couldn’t resist the cinnamon any longer. I slump down next to him.
I sip my tea before offering him my full awareness. I rest my elbows on the tabletop. He smiles and my innocent childhood crush comes back. “This whole time your mother had me believing you were born in 2000.” I press my lips together as my eyebrows frown. “Don’t feel bad, Moses. Mother lied to all of us. She had me believing for a real long time that a dead man was my father. The numbers didn’t add up,” I concluded. I finish my tea up. I feel the table tremble underneath me. “I can’t believe she lied to you about that!” He spits out as he pounds his fist on the table. His eyelids, lips and actually his whole face tighten up because he’s so tense.
I get a weary feeling. This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass, I say over and over in my head. I don’t like it when he’s mad. No one does for that matter. He looks at me curiously. “Why are you looking at me like it’s your first time seeing me?” I ask, standing to my feet. Because it’s like I really am seeing you for the first time. You just mirrored a move I know too well.” I choke on my own spit. Is he saying what I think he is? “Your mother could lie to me about her age and your birth year but she shouldn’t have lied to you-about something so serious, so significant. I really hope she repented of her sins before she left this earth,” he says. “Your mother may be gone, but her secret is still alive. I don’t mean to talk ill about your mother. I would never want to hurt you like that,” he says, looking me deep in the eyes. I choke my emotions back. “Do you think she knew Jesus?” I ask. His eyes lower as he places a hand over mine. “Apple your mother was a sinner just like the rest of us. And yes, she did confess with her mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord. She believed in her heart that God raised Him from the dead.” I try to fight back my tears. I fail and they come bursting out. “Then why was she a repulsive liar!” It was more of an accusation than a question. I dab my tears away and my legs quiver. “Harp,” he says. “Come here.” I bury my face into his shoulder. “I know you’re older now but the love I have for you never changed. As a baby you loved it when I sang this to you…
Run into his open arms, there your pain and sorrow will fade away,…” His song trails off and he stops and looks at me. Through sniffles I smile. He always knew what to say and do to make me laugh and feel better again. “Moses, Baby?” Debby calls from somewhere inside the house. “I’ll be back,” he whispers.
I peer out the window as the magnificent sun sets. I don’t know how to explain it, but strangely, I’m drawn outside to the stillness and darkness of the night. Not many stars are out. The scenery is so real in all its glory. The giant mountains surround me on both sides. Psalm nineteen comes to my mind. I bow my head and close my eyes to pray.
“God, thank you for being my God and a loving Father.” “Yes, Lord.” Luke says in a murmur. I think to myself where did he come from? The thought quickly leaves me. “Lord, we are here just for you we want to adore you and worship you with song and dance. “Yes, Lord.” Luke says high in the spirit. “We love you with all of our hearts, minds and souls. Lord, we love you!” He shouts so loud with exhilaration that his voice bounces off the mountains.
The Holy Spirit stirs up inside of me. “Draw near to us God as we draw near to you. Your love God- you're amazing, beautiful, saving love.” We both grab acoustic guitars.
My hope is in you lord /I trust you with all that I am /I will not be put to shame/I will see the goodness of my God/ in the land of the living/Oh oh, I will not be put to shame /I will see the goodness of my God/in the land of the living/His word will not fail/they uphold the universe/and His promises He keeps, He delivers/ Oh, oh, I will not be put to shame /I will see the goodness of my God in the land of the living /My heart cries out /You’re a good, good God Oh my heart cries out /You’re a good, good God
Like a volcano the words erupt from a deep place inside of me. Our voices carry high and His creation joins in as we worship Him. The trees bow in motion. We lose ourselves in worship. My feet do not stay on the ground at all. I love being in the air when he shows up and off. In His presence I really become animated. The weight of his presence keeps us down. So we just soak in it.
There’s nothing like His presence. You can’t see it, but you can feel it just like the wind. What an amazing God and Father that we have. In His love He thought of us and in his love He saved us. I close my eyes hoping for a vision. When one doesn’t come immediately I just wait on Him longer. But time passes and still I receive nothing. I open my eyes and roll over on my side. Luke is gone.
That’s weird, I don’t remember him saying anything to me at all. Then again, I was in my own world. I grab my cell phone from my back pocket and text him. Thanks for ditching me here by myself. I place my cell phone back into my back pocket. The lights in the living room flicker on and off and they catch my attention. I rise and go inside. As I approach the house I see a familiar heart shaped pint-sized head. “Shouldn’t she be asleep- it’s late.” Inside the house, she springs up and down on the couch. Her potato flower pajamas cling to her. Her hair is up in a messy bun. “You sing just like your daddy,” she says jumping about.
“My daddy.” I say to myself. “Lily, who do you think my daddy is?” I say, moving in closer to hear her. “Uncle Mo,” she says, jumping like there’s no tomorrow. My nose and forehead wrinkles. I stand there trying to figure out whom she might be referring to. “Lily, why did you lie to me?” My godfather asks. Still half asleep he has bed hair and probably bad breath. “Her singing was calling me,” she says. She continues to jump. “She sounds just like you, Uncle Mo, when she sings.”
I bite my lower lip to keep me from freaking out. Blood soon seeps out I quickly lick it away before anyone notice. “Lily,” he says in a serious manner. She stops jumping. The inner corners of her eyebrows are drawn in and upwards. Her little lips pout and her eyes drop down. She treads slowly towards him. Poor thing, I was once hers. “Uncle Mo, she didn’t mean to lie to you,” I say. His head is held back. “Uncle Moses,” he says. “Sorry.” I say. “Where were you?” I went back to the kitchen and you were missing in action,” he says. “Sorry, I was worshipping,” I say. Walking over to Lily I lean down and kiss her goodnight. Her frown turns into a lopsided smile. “Goodnight beautiful,” I say. “Goodnight older men,” she says to her delight. My godfather smiles. “Tomorrow, Apple, meet me here,” he says. Before he and Lily leaves he kisses the top of my hair. I never did like that.
The weather is playing with my emotions and I’m already emotional. I don’t have time for this. One minute it’s paradise the next it’ looks like a tornado wants to hit. My heart beat keeps increasing: the further I run down the road, my mind keeps revisiting what lily said to me. I stop and stretch every two miles. My workout outfit is a little snug on me. I don’t recall putting on a few pounds. It had to be the doughnuts. The weight always creeps on me later. I stop to catch my breath.
My friends come zooming past me. Where did they come from? They never wake up this early to run. They were always too lazy and out of shape to do so. “Show off!” I shout after them. I decide to end my run. I always looked funny running anyway. I look down the road. I didn’t realize how far I ran. “Jesus help me,” I say, gasping for air. I never needed this much air before. “Apple,” Debby says, approaching me. Something About Debby felt different. I just can’t put my finger on it.
“You look like you can use some help,” she says. I hesitate at first because she’s tiny and I don’t want to break her. But I end up on her back anyways. For a small lady she sure has strength. We don’t talk much in the beginning. My eyes wander around on the birds in the sky to the little rabbits and squirrels that are passing us by. My Creator holds the world and me in His hands. His creation is picturesque. Boredom overtakes me so I do what I do best. I worship Him while admiring His creation.
There will be a day /when we’re forever with you / in our heavenly home/the Spirit and the Bride say come /Lord Jesus come/oh the dead /will rise first when you come /to take us home/You will be in your glory /and all will see /and every knee will bow/and every mouth will confess /you are Lord, you will wipe our tears away/ and there will be/ no more pain/or suffering on that great day /Oh Lord the “Spirit and the Bride /say come, Lord Jesus come. The leaves sway back and forth. I sing another song.
I don’t have much/ to give as an offering / but this song/ I sing Lord / take me to your well / I need refreshing/your Spirit dwells / within me / Lord I come / to your feet there/ I find healing / there you restore me / Lord, I don’t have much/ to give but this song /I sing so may you find / it pleasing to your ears…
I open my mouth to sing another verse but we arrive. I step down. Debby smiles. “You have nothing to worry about. You will be okay,” she says. “Your heavenly Father loves it when you sing to Him. He calls you His songbird,” she says, and then waves goodbye to me. I stand there in awe thinking, why did she just wave goodbye to me? She lives here. I watch her until she’s no longer in view.
As I lay on the couch my eyelids flash open. Today doesn’t feel like a normal day. Something vast is going to be revealed. It always is when I feel this way. First comes the weirdness followed by astonishment. Lily decides to hop on my stomach. Does she need a reason? She’s only three years old. “Lily, apologize to Apple,” Debby says. “I’m sorry,” she says with a smile that’s as big as the sun. She places a messy kiss on me. I want to wipe it off but I don’t want to offend her. I notice Debby; exquisite yellow gold gown. The gown reveals her best body assets. Wherever she’s going, she was going to knock them dead. I could never get away with that low back cut. Lily grabs my face.
“Doesn’t she look beautiful?” she asks, admiring her auntie. “Yes, Debby you look amazing in that dress. Are you and Moses going somewhere nice?” I ask. “Me and your godfather? No. But me and my dad, yes,” she says. “Oh, this is for you,” she collects a folded piece of white paper and a brown box from the table. “They were addressed to you; they were just sitting on the front porch,” she says, while making eye contact with me every chance she gets. “Also, Luke wanted me to let you know that Meadow and he went to explore the town. You were asleep and looked cute so he didn’t want to wake you,” she says, in between fluffing the couch and pillows. Lily’s hot on her tail doing the same.
“Moses will be back in a few,” she says. Her eyes rest on me. “I just want you to know that Moses is crazy about you. Even though we cannot have a child of our own we think of you as our child. Ever since you were a baby you brought joy into our lives,” she gushes. She blinks back the tears in her eyes. I rise from my position. I go to hug her and I trip over my own two feet.
“ Oh Debby, never lose heart. God has a way of surprising us when we least expect it.” Lily joins our hug session. “Praise God for family and love," she says doing what she does best- jumping. “Come now, Lily. My father is waiting for us,” she says. “Ok,” Lily says, taking her hand. At the door, she looks back and waves goodbye to me. I wave back. Afterwards, I curl up on the couch and make myself cozy. I grab the folded piece of paper and open it. My eyes roam every word on the page. I read the paper aloud:
“My Joy, my delight, I never meant to hurt you all of these years with that little white lie that I told. I imagine that it only grew over time,” I nod my head in agreement. “I lied because I didn’t know what the truth would unfold,” my eyes enlarge. “I hope you can find it in your heart to see where I was coming from.” I look up heavenwards and think, so do I. I continue reading aloud to myself. “I was young, foolish and naïve. Nobody could tell me anything. Apple, after reading this, you will know who your biological father is. I love you with all I am, mom.” She signed it. “God, your timing never surprises me,” I say, scanning the living room for something sharp. My eyes come across a pen mate ink pen. It’s not exactly the sharpest thing in the world, but it will have to do. My hands shake with anxiety. I tore through the box like it’s from Tiffany and Co. Behold a gold DVD with no inscription on it.
I grab the DVD and quickly put it in the DVD player. My mother's face appears on the TV screen. I look over my shoulder because I hear my godfather approaching along with his cologne of citrus, woods and black pepper. The odor makes its way up my nostrils. I grab the remote with shaking hands. With one click the screen goes black. I flop down on the couch just as he enters. I smile just because it’s the normal thing to do. I hope that my eyes don’t give me away. I do a double take. He’s sporting a Hugo Boss black suit. Also, his patch of hair centered on his head is slicked back. He sits down next to me. He smiles, open mouthed. His eyes are wide and then they narrow on me. “I did a little research,” he says, with a hand on his chin. My mouth opens and curiosity springs up inside of me. “I was so furious with what you told me the other night that I couldn’t just let it go.” My eyebrows raise and come together. I’m literally sitting on the edge of my seat. These thoughts enter my mind like should I tell him what I know? What did he discover? Our eyes meet. “It took me eighteen years, but I finally got the truth out of your stubborn grandparents,” he says. Doubt rises up in me and I have second thoughts. Do I really want to know the truth? Yes. The truth does set you free because the Lord says so. But the truth also can wreck you if you let it. One of my eyebrows rises higher than the other. I think long and hard about this. I stand to my feet but I look away. My facial expression always give me away. “Apple Rose, do you care to share?” he asks. I shake my head no. I hear him getting up.“Apple, you know that you can tell me anything.” “Yes, Moses I know that,” I say, still glancing down. I never noticed before how polished their floor was. My Doc Martens boots look good on them. “Apple,” he says, and he paces my way. “It’s just- you should-uh, watch this first,” I say, stammering over my words. I grab the remote. “Apple, what is it?” he asks. “You’ll see,” I say. I hand him the remote. “Whatever happens and whatever the truth is, I don’t want there to be any weirdness between us, ok?” I say. “Apple, I don’t need to watch anything to know the truth. Actually, the very moment I laid eyes on you, I knew.” I jump back. No way, no way, rolls through my head.
His teeth are exposed in a half smile. My heart is doing somersaults inside of my chest . He says, “Apple Rose, Truth Told I’m your father.” My eyes broaden in their place. He just dropped the biggest bombshell in my life. I’m quiet for once. Strangely, my feet are pulling me in a different direction. Once I reach the doorway, I run.
The briskly air greets me and prickles my throat. I swallow. I need to be close to God right now. This truth- this new revelation overwhelms me. My mother’s secret is finally revealed. Was it God’s doing? Deep down in my heart I know that it was. He answered my greatest heart's desire. I no longer have to imagine who my father is. Now I have a dad who can walk me down the aisle and dance with me on my wedding day. I know I said that I didn’t want anything to be weird between us. But there might just be.
He’s my father and I had the biggest crush on him. I shake my head. I’m disgusted. I have a knowing my life won’t be the same. Also, can I forgive my mother? I know I have to but will I be able to? I come across a beautiful towering apple tree. The leaves are velvet and leather. The colors of the leaves are alive and out of this world. A quiet breeze blows past me. I turn my head and in the distance I see the figure of someone. As the figure gets closer and closer to me it becomes crystal clear in my sight. Memories of my run come to my mind. I smile. God, you sent an angel to help me! It wasn’t Debby at all. I look at the towering tree one last time before climbing it. It looks challenging but once my boot touches the bark I’m unstoppable. I don’t dare look down because I have a fear of heights. But there is something about being up high and in nature with God.
It doesn’t take long for me to reach the top branch. My eyes behold the sky. I pray, “Abba Father, draw near to me as I draw near to you, just like your word promises.” Something remarkable happens; a blinding light flashes right before my eyes. Seven doves arrive from out of the blue. They fly in a ring around the light. If I’m dreaming, I don’t want to awaken. A new song springs forth.
Worth Waiting For
I seek your face /in the quietness /or in the chaos /of my day/it’s what my heart / longs for/ there’s nothing like your presence Lord/ for your nearness Lord / is my good/ oh cover me/oh cover me/oh cover me/oh Lord your presence/ Lord I’ll wait for you/oh cover me/ oh cover me /with your presence /my God your presence/is worth waiting for /oh, how I love/when you walk in the room/oh how I love/when you walk in the room/oh Majesty King fill this place/ oh Majesty/ fill this place with your presence/oh with your presence/for your nearness is my good.
As I was singing, an invisible manifestation covers over me. The sensation alerts all five of my senses. It feels like a waterfall washing over me. The manifestation gave me unspeakable peace. In my spirit I heard, “You are my songbird. I have great plans for you my child.” “Apple?” my godfather says, invading the silence all around me and startling me. I lose my balance I fall backwards onto a pile of leaves. They crumble underneath me. “Ouch. That hurt.” My godfather comes rushing to my aid. In a frantic voice he calls out to me. “Apple Rose, how can you do something so dangerous and stupid? If it wasn’t for the leaves you would be dead right now,” he reaches to help me up but after scolding me I don’t want his help. I smack his hand away from me. His eye brows arch.
I rise to my feet and cross my hands across my chest. “No one invited you. What are you doing here?” I demand, giving him the third degree. I glare into his eyes. I can be a real grouch when I need to be. A half grin appears across his face. “So you’re going to play this game with me?” he asks, staring at me. I always lose this game with him. You think I would know better by now. He invades my personal space. “I am your father and you will not talk to me in that tone ever again young lady.” I step backwards and hit up against a tree. It only took him thirty minutes to step into fatherhood. His eyes search mine.
“You worried me when you left. It’s not every day when you discover that your favorite person in the world is your daughter,” he says with a smile. He’s right. Now a days this is the new normal for some people. “I need time,” I mumble at him, catching him off guard. He looks away trying to hide how he really feels. “How much time?” he asks. Does he really want to know that answer because I feel like I could say ten years. I don’t answer him immediately. My eyes wander around as I think. He cups my chin. “Apple, you’re my miracle.” What-no don’t say that, I think to myself. That’s too much pressure for me. Wondering what I’m thinking, he cracks a smile.
“Moses, please don’t call me your miracle just in case I don’t live up to your expectations,” I say glancing down. He laughs and it carries through the air. “Baby girl, you have surpassed any expectation I have ever had. You are perfect,” he says. “No I’m not. I’m clumsy,” I say. “You’re beautiful,” he says. I look at him like he’s crazy. “No, I’m not. I look like an ugly duckling.” His mouth drops. “Wow, Apple, where is this coming from?” Little did he know that it’s always been there. I have always felt unsure about the way I look. My late mother was drop dead gorgeous and, well, my father is too.
The gene that carried the good looks must have looked the other way. “Go away,” I say. “We are not having this conversation today or any other day.” “Apple!” he calls out only to be ignored by me. “Apple!” he repeats. Sounding annoyed . “What!” I snap a little too cruel. “I want you to live with me,” he says. He wants his answer now by the look on his face. Jesus help me. I don’t know what to say. I’m stunned. “It’s up to you. A simple yes or no will do.” I need more time to think but I don’t have it. As time passes by we just stand there face to face looking like simpletons. Finally, I burst out an answer. “I don’t think so dad,” I say as he looks on in disbelief. I think I just broke my dad’s heart the same way my mother did. “Please don’t hate me!” I plead.
I turned and ran not knowing where I was going. Suddenly, an apple falls from the tree and hits me on the head. It stops me in my tracks. “Ow!” I say, grabbing my head. Was this God’s way of saying stop and think? I turn around and look at my newly revealed father walking towards me. “Should I allow him in my life, Lord?” I ask. Suddenly, in my spirit, a deep peace overcomes my confusion. This time I run towards my dad and I embrace him in an overdue hug. I’m finally home I whisper.
Eyes On You
I fix my eyes/ on my Savior/when the storms in my life/rises peace be still/you speak to my/troubled heart /you calm my raging seas/you bring peace/to my soul/you walk with me/through it all/you have never left myside/you’re my rock /oh, oh my God/you are powerful/oh, oh you have/all authority /oh, oh God/you are forever/amazing your nearness /is my good/you calm my raging seas/ you speak to my troubled heart/peace, be still.
You Are For Me
My God you are for me/I will not be shaken/you make me lie down/ in green pastures/and lead me beside/quiet waters/oh, oh you are loving/oh, oh you are my fortress/oh, oh my stronghold and deliverer /oh, oh you are my shield and my refuge/ I will not be afraid/ because my God lives/and He reigns /I will not be afraid /because my God lives/and He reigns.
God, Come Down
[God come down/come down/open up the heavens/over our lives/God come down/come down open up the heavens/over our lives/Lord we welcome you/into our hearts /Lord come and have your way with us/Lord let your Kingdom come/push back the darkness /Lord let your Kingdom come /push back the darkness/oh God raise up your children /in this ever changing hour
Our hope is in you /we will not be put to shame/our trust is in you/we will not be put to shame/our faith is in you/we will not be put to shame/with you God/on our side /we win victory/it’s ours and it’s ever rising/God come down/come down our God/come down come down.]
I open my heart to you/I open my heart to you/my King you are good/ you are merciful and faithful/ love is in you to the core/you give me hope/when I have none left/ you give life to the dead/you resurrect me /you are good/you are merciful and faithful/ love is in you to the core/you know my every thought/you know me better/than I know myself.
Telling stories has always been a passion of Blake Ryan. She loves God, her heavenly father and her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This gift of hers is from Him and she uses it for His glory and His glory alone. For it is God who works through her. She’s a vessel who is happy to be used by her God and her friend. She loves singing to God, even though she is not gifted in that area. She lives in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio and she is twenty something years old. Follow her on Twitter @RyanBlakeThe
Kate Hylla is a professional writer and editor with 15 years of experience helping others achieve success in their writing endeavors. She owns her own business called Envyme Writing Services. You can find her on Facebook or Elance. Email your project ideas or manuscripts to and get a quote for her services. She has raised 3 wonderful and hardworking young men who are successful in their own unique ways. She is working on her own book, a memoir, to be published soon. Kate calls Tulsa home and loves working and living in the Heartland of America.
To God my heavenly good, good father, this wouldn’t be possible without you. To God be the glory forever and ever! Amen. And to Kate my amazing good editor and co author. I thank you from the bottom of my heart God blessed me when he connected the two of us together. To my lord and savior Jesus Christ, Thank you for loving and freeing me. I love you.
If you enjoyed Truth Told , it would mean so much to me if you posted a quick review on Amazon or Goodreads. The review doesn’t even have to be long. A sentence or two would be fine. Thank You Blake Ryan.
Have any questions?
You can email me at
Hey book lovers and readers everywhere . I'm Apple and my mother died right before she revealed to me who my father is. Great now I'm an orphan just like Annie . Grab your favorite cup of tea or coffee because this is one unveiling you don't want to miss ! Also, can I forgive my mother? I know I have to but will I be able to?