Think Your Way Out Of Adversity.
By Chris Cook
Copyright © Chris Cook 2017 All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the author.
Adversity can come from many directions into our lives. Many situations can give us worry and tension on many levels. I am not even going to try to list adversities but just build a way out of them. All the things we hold dear can also bring adversity. Maybe your adversity is so minor you don’t even call it adversity but just a nuisance whatever way you can deal with it today.
All our actions and our reactions come from within. We are but pawns living in the world.
Adversity causes stress which can be a good thing if it is channelled where it is intended. Originally it would arouse our fight or flight mechanism to keep us safe in the short term.
What is not good about stress is if it lasts for prolonged periods because then the chemicals aroused in the body to steel it into action start to act against the body and eat away at it and open it to all sorts of things and weaknesses.
We can do little about the rest of it only about ourselves and our own feelings and behaviours.
If you never face a challenge you will never realise how great you can become.
Things will go right and things will go wrong but what exactly is right and wrong. Right is probably just what we were hoping or expecting to happen. Wrong is something we had not prepared for.
Plenty will happen that we are not prepared for. Some of this will be good and some bad but what is good and bad? It is all what we are prepared for and how we decide to react as a consequence.
Plenty has happened to me that I was not prepared for. How we react decides if we will be plunged deeper into adversity or not.
This little guide will not solve all of everyone’s problems in a moment or two but it can help you come to terms with them more quickly and find a better life if you seek such a thing.
It is often the shock of adversity which is most difficult to deal with. It sends us into a mental spiral which can quickly bring us down. Waking up all through the night and thinking thinking thinking. Getting more and more tired and exhausted going over the same old ground.
It often happens that one or two or even three things can hit us at the same time. This is when adversity seems cruellest.
You may lose your loved one, your house and your job in quick succession. Many of us can cope with one of these but two or three happening together can floor us. The answers are just the same. We have to regroup and restart but the shock may seem greater.
People do recover from these awful situations. We are remarkable creatures that we can survive and have survived on this earth for millions of years. In fact your own actual birth line has survived for the same millions of years unbroken to you.
Humans are designed to survive adversity. It’s just a nuisance to us.
You may already be thinking it’s not that bad after all. It will still probably feel as bad for you but there could be people out there with worse situation who are somehow surviving. I know it still hurts but it could be so much worse.
Even if you have been battling adversity for some time the problem may be that you have not been tackling it the right way. It takes some time and some effort to overcome adversity. The amount of time and effort depends on the way you tackle things. If you keep just fire fighting problems as they arise it will take longer than if you make a determined effort to stamp out the smouldering embers and make a fresh start.
A lot of anxiety caused by Adversity is due to the feeling that you are not in control of situations. You need to slowly but surely regain control and start to move things in the direction you want to take them.
Flowers that bloom in adversity are the rarest and most beautiful of all.
There is no time like the present to start to overcome adversity. Whatever is niggling you and sapping your energy even slightly you can start to fix it NOW!
Try to stabilise any situation quickly and simply to give yourself a stable platform in which to operate from.
Depending on the situation your stable platform could be anything from a simple bed sitting room to your work or a small stash of money, just something to give you a place to start to rebuild things. Yes, in a time of turmoil once I found solace in the workplace which gave me the stability to hold on to something firmly and rebuild things around.
In another very bad moment I realised that things were bad. I stuck a metaphorical stick in the ground and said – well this is very bad. As bad as it gets. That means things can only get better and like the bottom of a graph of adversity they did start to get better. I guess it still took some months to fully climb out of that one but when I did I was in a far better place than when I went into it.
Adversity is the greatest teacher.
You often start by reasoning why me? Why should just I be singled out for this punishment. Over the course of human existence there have been millions of people who have suffered like you and managed to climb out of it. You are not a unique victim just a consequence of having a mind and desires and aspirations. All you need to do is adopt one of the many ways to overcome these adversities.
Like in times of adversity like in wartimes adopt a fighting attitude which will not be beaten.
You have two choices in how you react to anything. The right way or the wrong way.
One problem with adversity is that it may plunge us into a position which we did not want to be in. We may fight our way out of this position or accept it. You ultimately have to accept it as that is exactly the position you are in. Fighting for what you believe in is a very good thing but fighting a losing battle just for the sake of it is not.
You have to know when to draw the line under things and move on into some new possibly unexpected direction to achieve your goals.
FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AS I MENTIONED IT IS GOOD TO FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN BUT ALSO IT CAN BE DAMAGING TO EXPENT TOO MUCH ENERGY IN A POINTLESS FIGHT.
Once you have made the decision to turn your adversity into your advantage then you can start to rebuild. It can often be the start of something much better when things have been bad for a while now something can happen and improvements can be made. A whole new life can be achieved.
Adversity is the diamond dust that life polishes it’s jewels with.
You should not spend too much time trying to work out why the adversity occurred because generally it has just happened for no single or particular reason but for a collection of complex reasons.
Learn from any areas which you can learn from which were obvious triggers for the adversity and don’t make obvious mistakes again but as soon as possible move on in your new direction.
If it helps (and it usually does) write down on one sheet of paper things that went wrong and on another things, that went right or need to be improved on.
Put away or bury or burn the things that went wrong as a message to them not to happen again and but the things that went well in a box to build on.
The reason we have brains is to figure out how to do things.
When you decide, and are ready to move on it often helps to have a direction. I remember after one big break up sitting down with a wish list for my next romance. The danger with this is you may not know what you are wishing for.
In my romance I found my wealthy high flying company director with a house and car but then discovered that such trappings didn’t come without associated problems like working 24 hours a day etc etc. When I found my dream house on the coast I didn’t realise it would also be battered by winds and weather from time to time. They were all wonderful experiences but came at a cost.
Having said all this you should still wish for the stars and hopefully even if you don’t reach the stars you will still reach the sky and fly high above adversity.
Adversity sometimes can free you from the shackles of an imperfect life. It can give you the chance to start again without being held back. The chance to be more yourself. The chance to grow and flower into the wonderful person you are.
Once you have had your Eureka moment and from time to time you may feel a little tired by the effort to escape from adversity. Take a break from the struggle. Go on vacation if you can, change your scenery. Visit a museum. Just do something to take your mind off it for a few hours or so. This will break the spiral by distracting your brain by filling it full of beautiful things.
Adversity can allow us to grow again but the better the foundations you are growing from the stronger your future will be.
Give some thought to your grounding point. The basics which you intend to adhere to. If you have a complete blank sheet first decide where you want to build your future.
Adversity prepares ordinary people for an extraordinary future destiny.
Sometimes it is just best to start with a blank sheet of paper and plan your way to your perfect future. It will not always be an overnight process but the sooner you start the sooner you can achieve a better life free from adversity.
Keep the things you like and that are working and banish the things which blighted you and caused the adversity.
You can’t always set a time scale on achieving your dreams because the universe works in mysterious ways but you will often get near them or achieve them in all good time whether they were what you really desired or not. For example, ‘I will be a millionaire within six months’ is a difficult one to achieve but I will have enough money to cover my basics within 6 weeks may be very achievable.
Many people spend too long worrying about how on earth they will survive. Of course, we need basics and different people need different basics but one thing I discovered from my time with street people is how strong the human survival instinct is.
In these modern times in civilised countries and situations survival is simple and straightforward. Money and food comes from somewhere if you are prepared to put in just a little effort.
Adversity causes some to break and others to break records.
This is a big one and the tough one. The problem is adversity often leads us to seek mind or situation altering substances which may temporarily remove our power of reason. This may make us feel better in the short term but in the long term it will cloud our ability to think and plan out way out of a situation. Remember we are what we think so if our thinking is clouded by alcohol and drugs our existence will also be clouded.
If we are not thinking straight we can’t think our way out of trouble.
I am not saying don’t have a drink or something just do not let it control you. It costs money for little gain and addiction mainly delays your journey out of adversity.
Perhaps it will delay your journey so much you never make your destination. I know many from the streets who never woke up one morning. So, I suggest that you try not to sink into addiction if you are interested in a quick release from adversity. If you are coherent enough to read this and make sense of it then heed the warning signs and say no to addiction.
A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handles stress exceedingly well.
There is often a moment in adversity when we are trying to work a way out of it walking in treacle and planning what to do next that it is like a switch being thrown. A moment of inspiration that … YES … I can do this and it’s going to work and it’s exciting to be able to discover what is out there for me now.
The Eureka moment is a wonderful moment and hang on to that spark you feel when you see the light ahead.
I can remember most of my Eureka moments even the very small ones.
Once you start climbing out of adversity do not look back or dwell too often on your dark times. You are on your way out now. It doesn’t matter how you got there back then just the direction you are heading. You may occasionally stumble but keep on going for your dream future. Even when you are in the lead in a cycle race you still have to keep pedalling. The harder you pedal the faster you will leave adversity behind.
You discover your own strength from adversity.
As you climb out of adversity make occasional assessments of your progress and direction. This will help you realise how much you have achieved and how far you have come and how close your goal is. Keep you head held high and look ahead to a bright and wonderful future.
You will eventually make it far enough out of adversity to be able to rest on a ledge and take a breather. It now just depends on you how far you want to climb. Remember if you keep on going the sky is the limit.
Once you start to achieve your journey out of adversity no matter how small the steps give yourself rewards along the way. Humans like any creatures respond to rewards. Plan yourself a mini goal now and a reward for it. A tangible reward that can stand on a mantelpiece and give you inspiration to continue your journey out of adversity.
Prosperity conceals genius. Adversity reveals it.
There is a time when you may say – Ok. I am where I want to be. I can be content here. I don’t have to strive to make ends meet. You can still aim higher but the need may not be so great now that you are somewhere acceptable with adversity not snapping at your heels.
You can look back and wonder what that was all about but so long as you are happy that is the important thing. Adversity may still not be that far behind you but if you can reach this level of contentment then you have achieved escape from adversity. It may return in some other form but armed with your tools for overcoming it you can keep it at bay.
Adversity is only a temporary state of mind.
You can think your way out of it starting whenever you want.
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Chris Cook was born at an early age in Sussex and still lives on the Sussex coast in England where you will find some of his stories are set.
Chris has had a very varied life and never quite found his niche which mean he is always looking and exploring new avenues.
His first job paid was a professional photographer and trainer. From here he progressed into I.T. and flight simulation and from here into literature and quizzes.
He has travelled the world lecturing in 36 countries from Brazil to Japan and all stations in between. Chris is also pleased to speak at events on all things to do with writing and publishing.
In recent years Chris has been working at Bloomsbury Group houses in Sussex to improve visitor’s experiences.
In 2016 he set up Vivendum Ltd. which is an internet publishing house consultancy to help people living the dream.
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You can contact the author at [email protected]
© Copyright 2017 Chris Cook
This guide helps you to plan and think your way out of Adversity. Adversity can come from many directions into our lives. Many situations can give us worry and tension on many levels. I am not even going to try to list adversities but just build a way out of them. All the things we hold dear can also bring adversity. Maybe your adversity is so minor you don’t even call it adversity but just a nuisance whatever way you can deal with it today.