The Thinking: Blood Verses

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The Thinking: Vol. 1

The Heart Of It All

Surrain Bin Adhen

Copyright © Surrain Bin Adhen 2016

All Rights Reserved

The author asserts the moral right of this work

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, Places and incidents are either the product of the author\x92s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to any actual person living or dead, events and locales is entirely coincidental.

The book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by any way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the author\x92s prior written consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that it in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser and without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above.

To my father and my mother and respected teachers for there contribution in every stage of my life without them, it was impossible to achieve this.

If I am a building then my parents are it\x92s base and my teachers be it\x92s pillar, my brothers and sisters are it\x92s terrace and my idols are it\x92s gate.

The Thinking

Several worlds of several kinds,

In his mind the thinker finds.

Unaware of the world of man,

Among the stars, he lives with his clan.

And what is known to you?

About his clan, they are the dwellers of heart and mind too.

He moves with the wind here and there,

The most different, the learner of air.

And drowned in the ocean of thought.

That’s his attitude all about.

His world is composed with his longings

Adorned by extraordinary thinkings.

And all those what he wished to be,

Were placed for his clan to see.

The people of land call him insane.

Unknown of the thousand world in some dark lane.

He loves to be heard as a insane lover.

Finding the pleasure of his lord forever.

He is the lover of his maker.

And called him the destiny maker.

Sometimes in the darkness of night.

When he comes out in the lone sight.

Leaving the city light very far

Being called by the lord of the winds and the star.

The music, the bird, and the wild;

The meadow, the bird and even a child.

For him they were the different companies,

To think, beside a river under the trees.

To him, there are relation between everything

And reason for every happening.

The thinker finds hints in star that dies,

In rocks, in clouds and everything on his way, that lies.

He lives in thousand worlds or more.

The door to go there is a round vast floor.

When he felt bore with nothing in mind.

He departs to the city light for ideas to find.

In search of person of his interest.

With different skill, different thoughts and for the best.

All among his company of men, never stay

With the amateur of the barren way.

He wanders for stories that surround

All over the world with no bound.

As a wanderer in search of gold.

He wanders for stories of present and old.

When he find those, that

Touched his heart with great impact.

He creates a new world again.

And lost in a room in his brain.

Unaware of the storms that occured,

He continued singing his lord’s word.

The thinker died in the love of one,

To whom he ask and else none.

The people of land never know what the thinker thought.

What was his world all about?

The lovers of lord are fool from out.

What they know whose love theyh’d caught.

They never feel the joy of pain.

Until they recognize the god of rain.

The most wise or an exploring king.

None can make out the thinking.

The difference in lover and others, that they are

And others claim to be that star.

Belief

 

When thy name, my mind remember.

My stoned heart melt with a sudden force,

My soul doesn’t want to leave such a pleasure.

To call thy attention your name is the source.

 

How could this dark face would see

Up at the sky.

My dignity would burn in love and in fear.

In your company.

 

I carried your message. My lord!

Over the hills, across the mounts and seas.

Just to please you: O lord of the destiny.

My all desire, when you pleased, would cease.

 

I long many of your creation,

But when i know thee,

All those of sky and all those of land

I forgot. In thy orders company.

 

All my desires gave up

But only wish, still in my heart.

To be friend of thee.

Not a single sorrow would remain, or a hurt.

 

Still i wonder the thoughts of you..

 

Your signs in every sand

That you had created the skies, the land.

Many kingdoms unknown to me.

Where you rule for infinity.

 

At the immortal world

When you call me

I’m afraid, how would i dare?

To stand in front of thee.

 

My being is forlorn.

You know how much on you, i depend.

Many nights in your praise

Everyday my life, in your way i spend.

 

Still if you ask

O my slave! What you bought?

Still my small hands is empty

I wish your mercy fall in my garden drought.

 

I hope good and fear too.

Your mercy and judgement too.

I wish you would call my name

It would be most pleasant or a horrible clue.

 

Beside the hell is burning

The paradise calling

Still my deeds matter nothing

All your mercy. O king of kings!

 

You a are a true protector.

I don’t know how this machine run,

The senses and the mighty brain,

The ever beating heart and the red ocean.

 

I believe my every cell prostates you,

I too wanted to be a slave of you.

All lyrics that i spoke in your praise

But how i would reach your court.

As dirty is my gloves and dirty is my shoe.

 

I wish i would prostate every square,

Still tears gushing down, for my shameful head.

In not being a faithful slave.

That i hadn’t worshipped you as you said.

 

I am greatly indebted soul.

I wish to sacrifice all my desire.

It would be easy to please you, if

I would burn myself in fire.

 

My debts are large.

My sins are like mountain great.

Still you lobe me the same.

How cruel i am, arrive so late.

 

I hope your door is open wide.

I am old now.

Dark is my dress and dirty.

Things i assembled, lost. I don’t know how?

 

No one had asked this departing soul.

Still the shelter of your mercy that you give.

Where this burden live.

Threshold 1

 

You’re the guard of the castle wall.

She’s the princess of the empire.

You lay your life whenever the duty call.

If she wish for fun, the whole empire, she may hire.

 

 

The prince of the battle field,

The queen of the million heart.

The soldier of the king’s shield.

The wounded spy loves the being, never being hurt.

 

Standing at the threshold

Of desire and of loyalty.

The princess soft by mood, you the most bold

Desire dies by the call of deity

 

Neither you reached the sky

Nor to the heart of her.

You are an insane guy,

She looks at you just for pleasure.

 

A moment pleasure, when it encounter

The two ocean blue.

The soldier’s pride had broke

How selfish have been you?

 

Your eyes didn’t dare to look again

At her respect.

Your feet froze to go closer

Like she passes around your heart with a magical effect.

 

Your eyes fell down with your gaze

And your dignity shakes.

You, the beggar of town.

She is the queen of the hundred lakes.

 

Why are you so sad?

If for the beauty departed.

When she was no good for you so how could be that bad.

An era sets, an era started.

Mother

 

Sometime i thought how would i pay?

For your swelled hands, and

Your pain of everyday.

 

Sometime when blood rushes down your face.

I know it is not your smile

My grace.

 

Sometime i never felt hungry

But how would i explain.

You would be angry.

 

For i am ever in need.

In which language you understood

That I am blessed indeed.

 

My thirst are the debts of you

If i know what if worth

I would sacrifice my body and and my soul too.

 

But your post is even more,

If i knew, in the stars

I would reach at that store.

 

Sometime you look the most happy soul.

For your happiness dwell in me

In this world you got the greatest role.

 

Whenever i awoke, your eyes were red

Fanning me,

To comfort me: a hand on my head.

 

Sometime i think my soul a load

If would be pleased

I would lay dead by the road.

 

 

Sometime i think if you gave birth to me

How would be your love?

When i would be a blood of your destiny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forbidden Love

I am feared the others would claim,

Or i couldn’t make you back home

I’m feared i would never come to your town.

That your people don’t want me there, to roam.

I heard your call

But you know, i couldn’t reply.

A letter or call,

From here that i may supply.

I am feared my letter wouldn’t reach.

Or our love would exposed.

I could die everyday.

I fear those lovely flowers than the thorny rose.

I could feel your feelings sister

But i can’ t mention mine.

You know my crime

Open my diary there’s a deadly line.

I am feared to be close as a gangster

Than as a brother far.

But you are grown up now

Today your brother will depart

And why? You should know

I am the devil of the City’s forbidden part.

I received much love from you.

When you stood against me,

Large files and bunch of claim

I lost the case but i won in your company.

I rest in forever peace

Seeing the smile in you forever

This is my last letter.

And you wouldn’t listen me ever.

I was not all bad.

All i do was for you

That only my death will help you

You know how much i love you.

But can’t reveal the text above.

As it was a forbidden love.

Threshold 2

Those emeralds had witnessed

That may be i fallen.

Those moment had witnessed

That may be i fallen.

Every blink of eye waited your face

For a second’s pleasure

Maybe it was a sorrow

Not i got you nor my lord either.

Your poison had a beauty

Maybe i never felt.

You were very new to me,

A customer i never dealt.

I was the lover of lord

Away from her home’s way.

If that encounter wouldn’t happen.

I would reach to my lord, today.

But it was all my heart.

A stone that melted that day.

I may never tilt my head up

For what it committed that very day.

May be i am a false lover.

If i know my lord better

And if i really love and fear

I hadn’t accept her.

May be i am addicted

To the figure you created

It was all my heart.

May be it is addicted.

Sometime my heart visits her

May be that day, i defeated.

If i had control over my heart

There would none in it be seated.

I am afraid our love o lord ! Decreasing

O people! Please don’t call me evil!

It was all my heart

I am not a devil.

Invitation

With steps unwanted to his house you come

Your lord is waiting.

False was your face as your deity.

You come walking he came running.

Just close your eyes with trust.

And believe the king of all kings.

Which palace is in your heart?

Sucking you away from his blessings.

Where are you finding him?

Just believe he is the nearest.

Whatever you see is stained.

Only the being of your lord, the purest.

Where are you going?

Which way is more pleasant than his gardens

He will welcome his slaves.

With angel pure, and a million maidens.

Hadn’t the time had come to return?

The call of the hidden and most clear.

Where are you running?

Isn’t the time of meeting, very near.

Who is more merciful than him?

He hadn’t heard.

O Slave! Your deepest cry and slowest whisper

Is heard by a being, merciful.

He gives you without asking.

Turn to him he’s the most careful.

Let your soul go to his lord

Just say once to forgive.

His mercy, asking to rain down.

And dwell forever, alive.

His favors come in a manner

Your mind never reach.

He will made the sky to follow you

And nature to teach.

Just recognize who he is?

What can he do?

The winds would follow you

And the blue.

O restless bird! One day your feather would shed

You forgot who taught you flying.

You lost a thousand time.

Indirectly you called him, he came running.

One day your desire would end

Your stem is no more able to stand.

Still you are walking away.

Where are you going? Isn’t that is his land?

O slave! You reached your kingdom’s end

You never felt about your last day.

And today, you wouldn’t stand again.

Look your successors inherited today.

What is going with you? Look your empty hands

You are screaming silently

You thought no one there

Still unaware of the calamity.

Everyday

With a new story it comes.

The more mysterious and darker face

A chapter starts a history made.

It is the diary of a sudden race.

New wrath with many eyes

New rhythm this ear hear

Many untravelled ways were travelled

Many trouble this uniform bear.

This system one could never understand

Why day rise and why it sets.

But the day one lost,

Till the last of the sun rise he never gets.

Blind Warrior

I thought of you, my lonely star.

As pain increased since your absence.

My eyes are blind to all near and far.

Your face lives in my eye’s woodland.

But i never heard your voice again,

Which you sung in our dreamland.

Thousand days had passed of the call of duty

My mighty heart would melt soon.

If you come alive without the sign of victory.

I can bear my thousand son would die.

And i be blind forever.

But not the evil empire.

Dark

You know my friend, my parent left a world to me

In a horrible dark night.

And you are my neighbour since then.

You were scary first, but now its alright.

I trust you read my brain

And silence is your identity:

You call me with different names

Your voice come from infinity.

Our love grows with the darkening night.

As we face nearer.

But every night when you come.

The moments become fearer.

When shall thy terror would decrease,

And my innocent eyes would encounter

The friend for which it is blind to all

Would met the sharpest hunter.

All i can say you are a creature dark

That envelopes the lies of the eyes.

You are a scary truth

A creature dark without any shape and size.

Wanderer

When my destinations are unknown

I found myself alone.

When thy call from wind is blown.

I ran towards you alone.

Your lyrics is written between the land and sky

All your praise is just a lie.

My false songs is just for calling you

To show the love and longing too.

I am a wanderer now following you.

My thirst is across the skies and the blue.

You the most hidden lord.

For me, as you are with me, my heart record.

What a love to see thee

And even doesn’t dare to see.

Without your merciful call

My being would burn at the threshold of your hall.

I tried this love to hide,

To keep my horse keep ride.

When our love would be famous

Our journey would no more be joyous.

I cannot explain the pleasure of huger

In finding you, for you would pleased forever.

The sorrow and the pain,

In finding you: after death wouldn’t come again.

Then i would long the precious days

I would defeated by million ways.

Today you pleased by my slavery

With my death this verses would be a lost diary.

What a royalty is in bowing down

In front of the lord of the billion town.

And to be an amateur of him

And his enemy’s victim.

The Winds Of Sorrow

What a time that was

To live, a beautiful cause.

The flowers of joy blossoms then

In the spring with the rain.

Life a journey of memorable events

With friends and few different.

In home and in abroad,

Traversing the sea or the road.

On the wheels of magical ride

As wanderers with no guide.

Knowing culture of different states.

What a pleasure that traveling creates.

Every rise has a downfall

And my joyous account was small

The Smile were rare

Thanks friends! For such a care.

The more the pleasure one gets,

The more the one rises, the more he sets.

And i realize it was a dream

A group that annually comes down a stream.

I waited for years, the clan would come.

My gentle heart, how hard it become.

They came, but in different identity.

The dwellers of the city.

As a servant, this friend welcomes the growing men

Unaware of the coming omen.

Went to the chamber lone

Surround by dark crown

Alas! The lost of time.

Alone as a culprit of crime.

This being never smile by then,

In the springs or in the rain.

Ages after i saw the sun

It was challenging, making fun.

No tear had fallen from then

The winds of sorrow never blown again.

To the highest throne, this friend sat.

No desire remain to achieve, after that.

Still a day the old friends came

The men remain, not time, the same.

The beggars around the king palace

Come to ask from King’s grace.

Years after, tears came

How selfish the friend had become.

Still my heart open for the companions old.

Who taught how to smile and to be bold.

From the depths of my heart

Came the history of the dirt.

Whatever in life i would be,

The most successful or a well known identity

But can’t buy at any cost

The time which is lost.

 

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