THE MAN WITH A BIG
Copyright 2017 Andre’ Mwansa
This eBook is a work of fiction, any resemblance to actual people living, dead or in between is pure coincidence.
To Mr. Mulenga Evans
THE MAN WITH A BIG
‘’Write a Book about me and I promise/swear to sue your………..Arse?’’
So, you might be already wondering who this man with a Big Belly is, well guess what? That would be me. 35lBS of stomach fat, mid short, dark skin, I mean black skin, half bald head, thin blond hair (yeah blond hair), Big foot elephant, probably the whole description of……..
You might have to excuse me, because I’m on the toilet right now, you know why?………..You’re probably half right ‘nature calls’. But it might be more than just nature for me.
Let me summarize it for you.
I visited a nearby hospital today, and walked in the doctor’s office breathing heavily.
‘’Sit down, and try to breath slowly’’ the doctor said and I did what he told me.
‘’Now tell me, what seems to be problem?’’
Heavy breathing again. ‘’I can’t poop, why can’t I poop doctor?’’
He touched my shoulders. ‘’Take it slow, breath in, breath out’’ I did just that ‘’that’s good now’’
I looked at his face and immediately noticed that he was a Chinese (Probably nothing he can’t do, and a higher chance for me to get cured).
He took a note book, sat on one chair and asked: ‘’so you say you can’t poop?’’
‘’Eat anything, unusual?’’
‘’Not that I can remember’’
‘’Drink a lot of water?,’’ I nodded ‘’eat fruits?’’ I shook my head ‘’eat any vegetables?’’ I shook my head ‘’having a lot of meat for dinner?’’ I nodded, in which he wrote all that down.
‘’Fart a little? I mean are you able to fart?’’ he asked.
I did just that to show him, in which he had to turn his office fan on.
‘’Sex life, how is your sex life?’’
‘’Yeah better stop, or you will have a heart attack on top of some…….’’
‘’I’m only seventeen’’ I said.
He looked at my half bald head, at my big belly then finally resting on my big foot, saying nothing, just blinking.
After about five minutes, when he had had enough of looking, he asked me how many meals I’m having a day.
‘’Nine, nine meals a day’’ I replied.
‘’Living with you parents?’’
‘’Don’t they see that you might be losing it?’’
‘’They’re responsible for me, my meals and everything’’
‘’No, they are not,’’ the doctor said ‘’you’re responsible for yourself, there will come a time in life when you will have to leave your parent’s house and go your own way. That is when you will look at yourself in the mirror, and have only yourself to blame’’
I listened saying nothing.
‘’Change starts now, boy…..’’ he looked at my bald head again ‘’better start by wearing a wig or something’’
‘’Do I look that bad’’ I asked.
He took me to a mirror, holding me at the shoulders, and I almost cried when I saw my reflection.
‘’Don’t you think any of this is sarcastic?’’ I asked referring to my reflection.
He shook his head and said: ‘’It is vulgar’’
And this time, I did break down.
He embraced me in his arms, and later gave me some complicated drug name pills, that has me on this toilet now.
I finish doing what I was doing, and look through the bathroom window only to see it’s already dark. That means, OH MY GOD, that I’ve been on the toilet for almost the whole day.
I leave the room and head to bed without even eating dinner, only promising myself to buy that wig and go for a jog early in the morning tomorrow.
It’s early in the morning, and I had to sneak up and steal one of my mother’s wig in her room while she was still as sleep, being there is no stole that open that early (05:45A.M.).
I dress in a sport attire, put on that wig and walk outside, where I notice these two girls jog past my house. In a mili-sec of thought, I decided to join them.
‘’You guys do this every day?’’ I asked.
They just looked at me saying nothing.
‘’My first time,’’ I added.
‘’So where do you usually make your stops?’’ I said as I mistakenly brushed the one on my side.
‘’Eww,’’ she said eyeing my big belly ‘’you look like my dad’’
Don’t know how, but immediately she finished her insult, I might have tripped that my wig fell off my head.
‘’Eww, is that a wig?’’ the other one said looking down at me.
I got up, and dusted myself, trying to explain myself that I’m only seventeen when they decided to make a run for it, so I decided to catch up to them, when suddenly everything went black.
I opened my eyes to find one of the girls giving me a mouth to mouth resuscitation.
She stopped immediately she saw my eyes open. I looked at her smiling and said: ‘’Can you do that again?’’
‘’What’s wrong with you?’’ she said ‘’you could have killed yourself’’
‘’What’s in that stomach anyway?’’ she asked.
‘’Probably food, fats and feces’’ the other one sarcastically replied. With that said, they both walked away.
I got up, dusted myself, and went back home.
Back home, I found my mother sitting on the couch watching some new fat recipe cook. She looked at me and asked: ‘’is that my wig? What’re you doing wearing my wig?’’
‘’It’s about time mom’’
‘’About time for what?’’
‘’To take actions’’
‘’By wearing my wig?’’
‘’Yeah, I’ll need this for pretending I’m gay till I lose my fat ass’’
‘’OH MY GOD, is it just me, or are you becoming a man?’’
‘’Yeah, the Man with a Big Belly’’
TO BE CONTINUED…..
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
THANK YOU FOR READING MY BOOK PLEASE CARE TO LEAVE A REVIEW….