[*THE DAT THAT ATE CHRISTMAS *]
A Christmas Story in Verse
THE DAT THAT ATE CHRISTMAS * A Christmas Story in Verse
By J. Timothy Bagwell
Copyright 2016 Harp Seal Press
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THE DAT THAT ATE CHRISTMAS
’Twas the day before Christmas already
and a month since I’d promised the missus,
“Don’t worry, my dear; this be the year
that I pick the kids’ gifts for Christmas!”
“You’d better pick fast,” said my wife,
as she lounged in the bed from AKEA.
“You’re just standing there in your Flash underwear, never having a single idea.”
“Never fear, cuddle-cupcake, I’m on it
like the brown on the toast you are chewing!
I’ll go right to the source (but be subtle, of course,
so the children won’t know what I’m doing).”
I said, “Kids, just imagine it’s Christmas
and Santa has paid us a visit.
There’s something you see sitting under the tree
and you love it. So tell me, what is it?”
But I started to tremble all over
and broke out in ice cubes of sweat
when the children agreed that their most-urgent need
was for getting a family pet.
“For getting a pet? Not a problem!
I’ll forget it eleven times over!”
But it was too late: the proverbial gate
now stood open and ready for Rover.
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Not as sweet as "The Night Before Christmas," but a lot funnier. A father has waited until the last minute to do his holiday shopping and comes home with a pet that surely was never on Noah's Ark. Reading this entertaining story in verse is sure to become a family tradition. A great way to fill that awkward silence at the Christmas dinner table, "The Dat That Ate Christmas" will put smiles on the faces of your friends and relatives and be a balm to the wounds of everyone who has ever put off buying presents until "the day before the night before Christmas."