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The Daily Wound

The Daily Wound

By Dean Moriarty

Copyright 2015

The wound is where the light gets in… Rumi

From The Black Books Shelf

First Edition

Tales, vignettes, short stories

In my dreaming chair

The throne for all my thoughts

Where all things are possible

My life becomes the feeling I dream

And fuelled by the desire to excel

Passion carries me

Into the realms of excellence.

I am the dreamer, I dream the dreaming

And meld the dream with who I am.

The world is my dreaming arrows let lose

And each a part of my soul

That I recognise when they come back to me.

Also from The Black Books Shelf

Off the road

On the road

Advanced quantum metaphysics for beginners

Travelling solo

The spirit world

The dance of Zen

The dark night of the soul

God’s crazy parlour of sweet consent

Under a full moon

Bangkok, Thailand

A hole in the wind

Another book

Sleepless nights in paradise

The best of Moriarty

The daily wound

CQ calling, CQ calling

Snowflakes Anonymous

A Case of the Déjà vu Daisy

FIVE BARRIERS TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Everyone has different degrees of anger and if channelled in the right way can have a positive outcome. Anger is a powerful energy and the trick is to use it and not let it use you.

Anger can be aroused and directed as it was in the two world wars; an angry man fights more strongly and so tempers were kept on a short leash and built up to explode at the enemy.

Even after the wars this practice was kept up in the services and created a lot of angry men that after leaving the army or navy came back into society and had few ways to deal with their anger that had been drilled into them, and so caused a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Some did find an outlet to let it off such as in sports or work but most were seen as angry and wrong and bad people and the stigma of violence and madness and devil-like hung over them to the end.

Most turned to alcohol which fuelled the anger explosion when it was set off by anyone or anything that pushed the right button and sometimes the wrong button.

Those who managed to control their anger by burying it, perhaps because of their family ties and knowing how destructive it could be sat on a powder keg and so had to be vigilante at all times and in control of their emotions; and as a violent prisoner is guarded by many guards, anger too when suppressed for long takes a lot of energy, and so these ones led a seemingly normal life, and yet how much more could they have been with the right treatment to understand where the anger came from and how to let it go or use it for something positive.

The mass psychological manipulation by the authorities to make human beings take up arms against other human beings has gone on for a very long time and has caused incalculable harm to the psyche of humanity as a whole and has set us back as a species and kept us in an unnecessary darkness, an ignorance of knowing and a smallness of being that is more like a crippling disease that John Lennon put most succinctly in his song: ‘Working class hero.’

Anger is a most insidious emotion and is one of the five great barriers that keep us from enlightenment, far more than any chemical or psychological manipulation and dumbing down that can be used on us because it comes from inside and is felt to be what we are when in fact it is a darkness buried deep down and only by a fearless exploration inside of our self to go beyond the pain, sorrow and suffering of our past can we come to find out who we really are and what we are all a part of.

This has been kept from us by the religions and such as the source of all our power and supplanted by false beliefs that point outwards and great pains have been taken to keep us looking outwards in fear of death and eternal damnation.

Fear of course is the second great barrier that keeps us from knowing who and what we really are and takes great courage to quest beyond.

So why did an enlightened one say once: ‘that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into Heaven?’

Could it be that greed is the third great barrier that keeps us locked into a ‘having’ syndrome that perpetuates itself in a never-ending cycle of more until our very spirit is lost in it and takes over completely?

The fourth great barrier is ego that dictates its own agenda and doesn’t hear what the heart says and paints a picture of a beautiful face to be judged by the numbers but underneath is ugly and has nothing to do with true beauty and is but a trap for the unwary to fall into and become lost.

Lust is the fifth barrier and is a twisted desire that comes from the unbridled darkness of our unknowing. It is a voice that whispers to us and when let lose can burn us to our very roots in its empty promise of fulfilment.

Anger can take you so far if used in the right way but sooner or later it has to be let go of.

Fear must be overcome with courage.

Lust once opened cannot be overcome and so has to be supplanted with love.

Greed can only be seen for what it is and given away for in the giving is the having.

And ego is a worm of wrong thinking and only in the quieting of the thinking in the silence of the soul can it be seen for what it is and the true light of clarity shine through.

The ego is a parasitical device of the hierarchical interstices of the brain that can’t transcend its own boundaries and in such seals its own fate.

In time, it comes to know this but through fear and denial it chases its own tail in an illusory world it builds around itself.

The first step towards egolessness is understanding that the ego is no more than a passing fad in humanities evolution.

Until then the world is full of ghosts that come out of the wood-work at dawn to sharpen their spears then chase along the circular patterns of their rat-runs.

Death and concepts are the other two barriers.

VIGNETTES

The snake charmer came and blew hippie smoke rings that the snake of death shivered through. I was mesmerised. I too was invited to pass through the rings, so I did, and found another world, where the snake was a belly dancer, and the snake charmer was the guru and the dance was a magic that took me away. I sent these notes back by camel.

…..

As you trace the world of love with your fingers upon the dew of the life you want, in that surrender you are wonderful. So never lose your wanting for a pocket full of snake.

…..

If standing still is no longer an option then movement must begin. This holds true for its opposite. The quandary comes when you don’t know where you are to begin either.

…..

Some levels have no instructions on how to move on and so you have to use your best judgement and intuition to travel on from where you are. This is all the instructions you will receive on this level; proceed.

…..

This one did not fall off the back of a lorry, but it was carried in through a window and so if you see a sign saying keep off the grass then ignore it at your peril and carry on with what you were doing.

…..

You must look deep within you in the silence of solitude to find what you are looking for.

THE MISSING SHORLINE

It’s funny how the missing shoreline of your life can find you one-day swimming out of your depth and the next day stranded like a floundering fish in a desert and fried by the sun and tired beyond all endurance to find a way home.

In such a wasteland, one must surely shrivel up and lose all hope and never to find love again but wander lost and alone forever.

Even ship-wrecked sailors arriving alive at the shoreline find hope and pull them-selves out to carry on the business of living. While those who never find the shoreline will give up in the waves of the endless ocean as the lover without love must give up in the endless moments of life without the fulfilling embrace of their beloved so desperately longed for.

So, when five feet six inches of all you love takes a train south and says she’s not coming back it kind of throws a spanner in the works of your day and quite a few days to come.

Having a lot of friends can feel to be a burden when you want to be left alone. When one does get in they don’t usually come back after a drunken evening of remorseful one-sided conversation on the same subject.

And work is something you don’t go back to after the first couple of days.

Everything I looked at reminded me of her and would bring on a fresh round of tears until I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to get away and take stock of where my life was going, or where it had ended up.

I didn’t really have a plan in mind; I just knew I didn’t want to be where I was. But little did I know then that what I felt had nothing to do with geography and that what I was going through I took with me everywhere I went and infected all I came in contact with.

And so, I naively attempted to flee from my troubles and ended up on a tropical beach completely alone and across the world from what I most loved, and still shedding tears whenever anyone wasn’t looking and often when they were.

I felt like I had no control over my feelings to the extent I eventually became a shattered wreck and began to curse the very God I didn’t believe in. But constant pain will do that to a person after too long of pining with your whole being for what filled your heart but now has left only a huge hole of separation.

All day long every day the pain in my side was an ache that became intolerable, that no amount of alcohol would drown away.

But time mends all wounds eventually, or at least will cover the wound up enough for you to get on with your life.

And so, after a year of being a miserable recluse I began to notice the incredibleness of where I was and took up photography to try to capture in an image the beauty I’d never really noticed before.

After many practice shots I became good at it and my work began to sell. So, I made the choice to carry on and travel from place to place and let the camera dictate my destination.

From time to time I’d put a note from my heart in the sea and watch it float away with no real expectations any more of it going anywhere but to the bottom of the ocean with all the other notes I’d sent.

After a few years of this I became good at writing notes that became longer and longer and from seemingly out of the blue I had a book written.

And now, years later there are many books and all of them say: I miss you still.

Everyone has different degrees of anger and if channelled in the right way can have a positive outcome. Anger is a powerful energy and the trick is to use it and not let it use you. Anger, uncontrolled is the first great barrier to enlightenment.

…..

To prevent the disintegration of many who would listen ingenuous devices have been made to keep you here; do you go dream if the house is empty all that went before? And if what went before is less than your dream can you devise something else? Of course, I hear you say, many walk this way of their own calling; and here they come full of their voices put on like a coat to be taken off in the thoughts to prevent disintegration.

…..

It is dark outside as I lie here. Your abandoned incense burns clouding this space. Indian music drifts in and out of my wounds. Today I am small, getting smaller.

…..

As a train rumbles past the open window a tired leaf blows in through forever carrying a photograph of you that gleams like the teeth of the wolf under the full moon.

…..

How high is the moon on your battered suitcase in another hall of your life? You stand dilapidated hissing at the moon with your Indian rocks filling your pockets. The fifth message was yes but it came too late.

…..

Today I thought of you and smiled and thought of you thinking of me and smiling too.

THE SLEEVE OF AN OLD ONION

A short sharp shout, a psychic abbreviation really was following the man down through his life and causing him to be disturbed. Every day he would hear the shout in the back of his mind and although he didn’t know it, it influenced his every waking moment.

After many years of it he went to see the doctor with depression, anxiety and other things like that and in the doctor’s opinion appeared to be somewhat disturbed with hair out of place, wild eyes, ruffled patched clothing and talking with little sense.

The doctor could fit him into no one category and so sent him off to be evaluated by a psychiatrist who didn’t believe in psychic stuff and so told the man to pull himself together, go get a job, find a woman and get married and stop being a pain to normal people and society as a whole.

On returning to the doctor the man was given a month’s supply of tranquillizers and was told not to come back again.

After a month on the powerful tranquilizers and feeling relief for the first time in his life that he could remember he went back to the doctor for more pills and after a very long wait he found himself the last person in the waiting room so he knocked on the doctor’s door and was told to come in.

“It appears that you are addicted to the tranquillizers,” said the doctor after asking a few questions, “and so it will go on your record that you’re an addict. So, very sorry, but we can’t give you any more.”

With that the man left the surgery and although he went back many times there was nothing more they would do for him. “If I’d been a real addict they would have helped me,” he said to himself.

So down through the years of his life he travelled with the psychic shout in his mind and became ever more disturbed until one day the dark night of the soul hit him so hard he fell over and cried for three months straight and wet the carpet with all his tears.

So, then he turned to alcohol which did him no good at all and lost him any lingering sympathy there may have been for him and that’s when all options ran out and the dark night of the soul hit him again.

After another three months of tears the man decided to go travelling and so bought an old banger car and began chasing the moon south, but after two weeks he ran out of petrol and had to return back with his tail between his legs and that’s when his life picked up.

He met a woman who did him no good at all, and then for a few years his life really went downhill until he could stand it no longer and left her. It was then that he sold his life’s possessions and had enough for a flight to a tropical beach that was jam packed full of tourists making a huge noise with their mouths open.

The man became extremely depressed and decided to end it all but the angels in their mercy left him many messages not to give up and to keep going because life was a gift and worth living and something good was on its way, but didn’t say what or when it would arrive.

So, the man carried on and eventually stopped crying and even began to feel better on the odd day here and there.

And then one day on looking in the mirror the man saw himself to be old with hair grey, face lined and all the other paraphernalia that comes with age.

“What happened to my life, and what hope is there now?” he said to himself and began to peel off the layers of his life to try to find the child he once was.

Because the wound is where the light gets in, the man’s lifetime of suffering and pain gave him a head start as most of the layers had fallen away by now in his life and so with nothing left to lose the man began the journey inside with only fear as the last barrier to go beyond.

It takes courage to go deep inside on the soul level and not knowing what to expect he kept pressing deeper into the pain that had become his heart for far too long.

The pain was a path that lead him inwards and following it brought him to a place where there was just him and nothing else; all he was, was laid bare.

Questing out from his being he recognised something that came out of nowhere. A presence that came to meet him and caused great joy, so much so that he grinned with his whole being and felt the pain and hurt drop away like mist blown away by a sudden wind, and then he was whole again, the child re-found.

But his mind, that unwanted interloper caused him to say: “No, no, you’ll break the mask.”

Although he said this in jest, still, it was taken as a command and the beautiful presence went away and though the man tried to get back there again it was not to be, and then the hurt came back and the man cried doubly so with the hurt and the loss.

More years went by and slowly the pain diminished and the man began to awaken to himself and found he had a gift of expression in art and imagery, and although many didn’t understand him, a few did and so in his art he was able to touch others and felt that maybe there was something more in life than the day to day living. Though the beauty could not be defined it could be alluded to.

The depression never really left him, even though the psychic shout was gone, but he learnt to live with it and use it and not let it use him and so was able to live some kind of life, and if a little lonely at times there were moments that could be looked forward to and cherished when they came. And of course, he was ever hopeful of finding that love deep inside that gave his life meaning that could be quested for every day.

SHORTS

Another day came of howling wind telling far too many secrets that beat against the weary looking window that was worn by raindrops trying to get in.

…..

A gull blew through the sky like a fighter plane from Biggin Hill and an almost empty train pulled into the station called forgetful junction. Mid-afternoon and all was haunted with bird song and children’s voices raised in play and the far-off sounds of the city merging into one and joining the wind-swept trees to travel like a torrential river pouring towards the ocean of all sound that was ambiguous and grey, a mosquito wing in the ear, a cricket’s chirping remembered, someone’s whistle, the gull’s call, a thousand frogs croaking, all dead now and gone to heaven. The day was all the sounds of the past in a howling wind that had no direction and fell into the sky in a dream that was never really here.

…..

Fear of course is the second great barrier that keeps us from knowing who and what we really are and takes great courage to quest beyond.

…..

Could it be that greed is the third great barrier that keeps us locked into a ‘having’ syndrome that perpetuates itself in a never-ending cycle of more until our very spirit is lost in it and takes over completely?

…..

I am what I am when I’m at home but what really gets to me is when people talk with their mouths open.

The fourth great barrier to enlightenment is ego that dictates its own agenda and doesn’t hear what the heart says and paints a picture of a beautiful face to be judged by the numbers but underneath is ugly and has nothing to do with true beauty and is but a trap for the unwary to fall into and become lost.

…..

Lust is the fifth barrier and is a twisted desire that comes from the unbridled darkness of our unknowing. It is a voice that whispers to us and when let lose can burn us to our very roots in its empty promise of fulfilment.

…..

Anger can take you so far if used in the right way but sooner or later it has to be let go of.

…..

Fear must be overcome with courage.

…..

The indelible ink of a published book of secrets took a vacation into the creepy hollows of a dark journal that had tracks that ran into forever and became enlightened and so faded away never to be read again in quite the same way.

…..

A falling-down man who had no head and so couldn’t read a thing moaned from the shadows into this story without a sound and proceeded to do nothing at all, for what can you do without a head anyway?

A BUMPKIN THEORY

And then there was the bumpkin theory of evolution to say that in most groups of animals there is a force that looks after all those it has influence on. With fish, it is the shoal that gives protection. With wolves, it is the pack and the pack leader that leads the hunt for food. In gorillas, it is the big male that keeps the family together.

Being part of a tribe or herd gives not only protection but social interaction as well keeping the species going, and more.

In all of these families everyone benefits for the good of the whole.

In the same way, humans banded together in small groups and were led by someone strong enough to hold it all together. As the tribes grew bigger the chief or leader who was a part of the whole and not separate from it became more powerful and yet for the most part was able to live in enough of a harmony with the land and each other that they were able to grow and thrive.

And then religion came along and demanded sacrifices to a god that became more invented as time went on; such as with the Aztecs, Egyptians and the Europeans to name a few of the bigger ones.

If religions hadn’t been invented then our search for meaning and conscious awareness of our place in life would have taken a different turn, but as societies grew those in power became separate from the whole and religions grew powerful to become the dominant force to lead the masses towards what they deemed the objectives to be and not the group as a whole.

This mentality caused a divide in the structure of the group that brought into being the sheep syndrome and sheep have to be managed so the twin masters of religion and government divided up the spoils between them. Any individuals that rocked the boat were branded as heretics or enemies of the state and were either burnt at the stake in some way or exiled and always persecuted and criminalized to discourage others who could see the wrongness of the system but were marginalized and even murdered to stop any spread of discontent that might threaten them at the top.

Keeping the population dumbed down enough with just enough education to perform their tasks was one way of keeping control. The other was fear, such as in the inquisition where anyone that showed an ounce of awareness above their place was tortured and killed most horribly in the name of the god and the big cheese who was always far away and who sent out gangs to do his dirty work.

This is a simplified version of history but covers the main points of the coming into being of the master and slave power-play and the control by any means by ones who believe and think in such a way that any alternative awareness is contrary to their nationalistic and divine way of being and is vilified and stomped out.

But, wars don’t work, bombs are only good for bombers, power structures only benefit the powerful, lies and deceit are exposed by truth, old beliefs are crumbling, closed minded power-mongers are being seen for what they are, religions that enslave their followers without love are corroding from the inside, ignorance is for the ignorant, truth is for those who want to know and love is the highest energy.

The consciousness of humanity is finally awakening en masse to the injustices and the control is slipping from those who would stay in power; and as each individual unplugs from the lower levels of being and rises above the darkness to find their own beautiful light the fear is being turned around and we all are coming to see that Earth is a paradise we can bring into being or destroy. It is our choice, to choose out of fear or to choose out of hope.

There is more than enough to go around; we can all live together in harmony; as we live and breathe we can find our purpose; money is not an indication of our worth but is a tool we invented to serve us.

So, anyone with half an eye away from the darkness should be able to see some light by now through the lifting veils of illusion.

Capitalism, i.e. greed is breaking down and now that the fear mongers have served themselves from the fat of the land and there’s nothing left they are going to leave us to pick up the pieces.

America is broke and can’t pay its debts so they think to raise the ceiling once more for borrowing thereby putting off the inevitable and making it worse. And if one of the good guys gets to be president such as Bernie Sanders he will be seen as the president in power when the country went down the drain.

If they take the social security money to pay the debts there will be an uprising by many who will be put straight into the camps that have been built all over the states for when this will happen, which means they knew all along this would happen and have prepared for the consequences instead of fixing the problem; which leaves only one conclusion: they are so mad with greed that they have no thought for anyone but themselves, and that makes them insanely dangerous.

If the USA goes down the rest of the world will be direly affected, marshal law will be declared and food and water will be stock piled and rationed out with those in power taking all they want by divine right. Control will be imposed so that all freedoms will be taken away, and more etc; and all this because of the greed of a few, without which the world would run on just fine.

But who really knows what will happen, people are not as stupid or disorganized and war-like as we would be led to believe.

If those in power would go off and live in their utopia and leave us all alone we’d get on just fine. We don’t need them. They have no use to humanity and only cause trouble and hold us back, and like bloodsuckers should be removed and thrown back into the swamp they came from.

Some say we need them for their factories where we slave for a pittance to exist; and without the surveillance we would be beset by terrorists; and that we can’t think for ourselves and so must be controlled for our own good; but it seems the opposite is true and that they only make things worse and that without them we would all be so much better off.

All over the world people are waking up to all this and are no longer living in apathy and helplessly watching it all go on. Every voice raised against injustice is one less sheep to be herded.

It does seem that the tide is turning, and so long as they don’t push the button and blow us all up we have a chance to bring out the best in all of us, to thrive and find the peace we all so desperately need.

But, all in all, logic may not be enough to prevail; and hope is but a salve against despairing; and reality is buried so deep in the layers of disinformation set up to keep it hidden that no matter what, the outcome is already in motion and set up so it can’t fail and benefits only those at the top who hold all the cards, and in this is our downfall; and as in the movie The Matrix, maybe only a compromise can be reached to preserve the status quo.

And so, while the revolution chips off the arms that keep growing back, the head remains out of reach and perpetuates the war where nobody wins but the arms dealers.

However it all may seem, perhaps there is a bigger picture that is happening where good and evil finally stop opposing each other and merge to become one.

If only there was another planet to move to, to get away from this one; but then if there was we’d take along the bad stuff and ruin that one too, and maybe not intentionally but it would happen; if we can’t make it good here then there’s no use trying elsewhere.

What a terrible mess we’ve all made of it here. How can we make it better? How would we even begin?

The more I look at the problem, out there, the bigger it becomes, and so perhaps the only solution I can even attempt is to find peace for me, because if I don’t have that, then what have I got to offer?

They should be here to serve and protect us, to lead and guide for the good of the whole, but it seems they are only in it for themselves.

QUOTES

If you find yourself on a steam-boat going up river too fast, don’t jump over-board into the ole singsong until you’ve buttered your bread on both sides with the sunny side uppermost in your mind to take what you never started with in the reluctant barber’s sweepstakes where the timid tart places her bets.

…..

And if the androgynous alligator has you in its sights, sit tight until the kekkle boils to cause a diversion for your escape, and so saying, don’t be put off if you have to resort to plan B.

…..

And God bless the king if he comes to dinner with a bucket of money to throw around.

…..

If you’re in the not-a-moon-too-soon romp and you find yourself doing a dance in the number 9 bang vitreous shrug to pour it on like custard, head and shoulders above the African pygmies, if there’s any there; and if Pauline Dooms-bucket sidles in then move off sideways into the throng and hope she doesn’t see you.

…..

When you slide off home down the back alleys alone and crying all the way then that’s the time to wind up your pocket watch for the next romp and hope the sleeping pills work in between times

…..

The unknown hero of the rebellion cannot carry you home; but death is a small thing unless it grows legs and walks all over you, then you’ll have something to write home about.

INTO THE GROOVE

The equalizing power of a month of Sundays in the great scheme of things has its part to play to good effect usually, and so in no small measure time irons out and puts back into equilibrium the momentary relapses of consciousness that cause such momentous drama and grief that is most often mistaken for the human condition but should perhaps be re-classified as an excess of mind.

Because not everyone can be the same as everyone else this can make an interesting composition to sing around the May Pole in the May Pole dance; and for those who don’t have a clue there is always the TV to inform them of all they need to know, and like many others can sit in front of it until the cows come home and fill their minds and can count themselves lucky to have so much to fill, although by now there are those so full of it there may not be much room left over.

Further to this understanding and not to be confused with the ice maidens down the bottom of the garden, the esoteric side switch on the side of the TV is not for your amusement and should never be tampered with or dire consequences could follow. You have been warned.

Now, in the wanted adds somewhere inside of one of the local newspapers that come out every day all over the world was a tiny add saying: two interesting people wanted to fill an empty space. Apply soon and bring money.

Of course no one saw the add, the paper only ever bought to light fires with, but the winds of synchronicity did pick up one page and fluttered it right into the hands of the adducer, so called because he could adduce from any known quality or quantitative state what seems to be a perfectly good explanation and run away with it to Jacky Pim’s who’d give him sixpence for it and a pat on the head for being so good.

The adducer had a huge desire to broaden his horizons and on seeing the add on the page set out to ‘apply soon’ and found five bob along the way which he used to pay his entry fee into the psychedelic hope factory. Some say he only got in because he came in disguise dressed up as a dream of expectations and was accepted with open arms and smiles all round, give or take a shake of the tambourine and a blow on the whistle.

Pauline Marylander on the other hand was a hippie through and through and was backpacking around town and so found herself on the bus that used to be the magical mystery tour bus but sold out that very morning to commercialism and so she was delivered to the psychedelic hope factory and dropped off outside the front door which was multi coloured in swirling day-glow and captured the eyes and made them go all funny.

***

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The Daily Wound

Everyone has different degrees of anger and if channelled in the right way can have a positive outcome. Anger is a powerful energy and the trick is to use it and not let it use you. Anger can be aroused and directed as it was in the two world wars; an angry man fights more strongly and so tempers were kept on a short leash and built up to explode at the enemy. Even after the wars this practice was kept up in the services and created a lot of angry men that after leaving the army or navy came back into society and had few ways to deal with their anger that had been drilled into them, and so caused a lot of unnecessary suffering. Some did find an outlet to let it off such as in sports or work but most were seen as angry and wrong and bad people and the stigma of violence and madness and devil-like hung over them to the end.

  • ISBN: 9781370804412
  • Author: Dean Moriarty
  • Published: 2017-07-30 17:20:13
  • Words: 28824
The Daily Wound The Daily Wound