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The 30-Day Lust Cure

THE 30-DAY LUST CURE

Applying the Word of God to Break the Curse of Lust

By Dr. Malachi Petros

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

Introduction

Pornography: What are the Facts?

What Does the Bible Say?

What Do Doctors Say?

             A. Futile Thoughts and Darkened Emotions

                          Case History #1: Tami

             B. Degrading of the Body

                          Case History #2: Lou

             C. Perversions

                          Case Study #3: Ken

“The Due Penalty”

THE 30-DAY LUST CURE

             A. Learn to Forgive (Even Yourself)

             B. The Dreaded “A” Word

             C. Rewiring Your Brain

             D. The Power of Prayer

About the Author

 

 

INTRODUCTION

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The Bible teaches that our ancient enemy the Devil is like a raging lion roaming about seeking to devour us. (1 Peter 5:8) In another Scriptural text, Christ tells Peter that Satan demanded to have him that he might “sift you like wheat.” (Luke 22: 31) One of the most powerful weapons in Satan’s arsenal is lust. But what exactly is lust? The dictionary defines “lust” as very strong sexual desire. Used in a sentence, “His lust for her knew no bounds.” Synonyms include: sexual appetite, sexual desire, sexual longing, concupiscence, lasciviousness, lechery, licentiousness. Lust, as you can see, goes by many names. But by any of those names, the Bible defines lust as a sin.

Christ Himself condemned lust as a sin. His true Church at all times and in all places has condemned lust is a sin, an evil passion, and a curse. Galatians 5: 19-20 states: “Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Although Paul lists many sins that keep us from inheriting the kingdom of God, notice how he places three lust-related sins at the very top of the list? But to whom was Paul’s letter addressed?

Paul definitely knew his audience. History tells us that Galatia was an ancient Roman province under the Emperor Augustus, and that it was located in what is now modern Turkey. Antioch was one of its major cities. Galatia was enthusiastically loyal to Rome, according to A Historical Commentary on St. Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians by Sir William Mitchell Ramsay (Google Books, 1899). The Temple of Augustus was located at the highest point of the city of Pisidian Antioch. The majority of the Galatians could, and probably did, worship in the Temple of Augustus, where the Res Gestae (life and supposed achievements of the Emperor Augustus) could be found written on the temple wall.

During the time of Paul’s missionary travels, the Emperor Caligula “issued a decree to erect a statue of himself in the sanctuary [the Temple] at Jerusalem (Jos., Ant., 18:262; Jos., Wars, 2:184; Philo, De Legatione ad Gaium, 188, 207–8; Tacitus, Historiae, 5:9). The decree was never carried out, however, due to the death of Caligula in January 41 C.E.” (Jewish Virtual Library, Emperor Worship.

[+ Emperor Worship+]

For those attuned to prophecy, the “desolating sacrilege” was averted, at least in ancient times.

The Cult of the Emperor (or so-called Emperor worship, pagan sacrifice as proof of loyalty) was definitely enjoying a period of resurgence in Galatia during Paul’s day. Perversions and every form of illicit sex ran rampant. As stated in the InterVarsity Press New Testament Commentaries to Galatians 5, made available on BibleGateway,

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Gal/Freedom-Evil

“When we read that ‘the sexual life of the Graeco-Roman world in NT times was a lawless chaos’ (Barclay 1962:24), we only need to observe the chaos in our own world to understand the conditions in Paul’s day. In fact, a good case could be made that in the two millennia since the Roman Empire, our generation comes closer than any previous one to the blatant prevalence of sexual perversions that was characteristic then.”

Lust is alive and well in our modern age, at least in western societies, and probably worldwide. Lust, like the emperor worship in New Testament times, is enjoying a commanding resurgence of its own in the world today. Or so it seems.

What can a modern Christian man, woman, or teen do to break free from the yoke of lust? When everyone around us seems to be living a profligate life, “enjoying” the sins of the flesh with abandon, is it possible to keep oneself pure and holy? Can married men and women remain faithful to their spouses while omnipresent temptation in our social media, our entertainment media and among our neighbors rages all around us? Can we be in the world but not of it, or is living a lust-free life a hopeless task doomed to abject failure?

The Apostle Peter addressed similar questions in 1 Peter 4: 1-6 where he says: “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same thought, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer by human passions but by the will of God. Let the time that is past suffice for doing what the Gentiles like to do, living in licentiousness, passions, drunkenness, revels, carousing, and lawless idolatry. They are surprised that you do not now join them in the same wild profligacy, and they abuse you;^ ^but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is why the gospel was preached even to the dead, that though judged in the flesh like men, they might live in the spirit like God.”

Like those first Christians in the early Church, you, too, can live a life free from the slavery of lust. Just imagine a guilt-free life, serving the Lord with joy and gladness! Don’t you yearn to be set free from the evil passions that drag you down and drive you to despair? If you will study this book, and apply the basic principles of my 30-Day Lust Cure, you will break free of the overwhelming temptations that formerly harassed you and drove you to commit shameful and loathsome sins.

 

 

PORNOGRAPHY: WHAT ARE THE FACTS?

  

Since the late 19th century at the close of the Grant administration, thanks to lobbying by anti-porn crusader Anthony Comstock and others, there have been criminal laws on the books in the United States prohibiting the dissemination of “obscene” books and pictures and imposing severe penalties upon conviction. As recently as the 1950’s and 1960’s, men such as Samuel Roth and Ralph Ginzburg were convicted under laws such as these, in Roth’s case for distributing topless photos and in Ginzburg’s for republishing literary representations of sex in a magazine and mailing it from locations chosen for their suggestive postmarks, i.e., Intercourse PA.

It may sound quaint today, but in fact Roth and Ginzburg were each sentenced to years in prison for their crimes. Both cases went all the way to the United States Supreme Court, where Ginzburg’s and Roth’s convictions were upheld. Roth ultimately served nine years in prison for selling pictures that today would fail to raise a single eyebrow on cable TV. Miscarriage of justice? Perhaps. Or did our forebears know something that we in our blasé modern world have forgotten? You be the judge.

In recent years, the pendulum seems to have swung the other way. The glut of pornographic videos, photos, books and stories on the Internet has been largely ignored by prosecutors already overburdened by the epidemic of drug cases and violent crime. Laws against obscenity and so-called “harmful materials” remain on the books but are largely unenforced, or at most are sporadically and inconsistently enforced, due in all probability to the overwhelming volume of materials currently available and the practical difficulties likely to be encountered in regulating and censoring the Internet in a free society. As a result, pornographic videos, images and “literature” are freely and abundantly available to anyone, young or old, who chooses to look. The question is, as individuals and as a society are we any better off as a result?

What are the facts about pornography? Were our forefathers a pack of bluenosed prudes who hysterically overreacted to something harmless because they felt threatened? Can any adult be hurt merely by reading a book or looking at a picture? Is there any conceivable harm in reading explicit depictions of sex between consenting adults? What about men (because, let’s face it, the overwhelming majority of porn’s customers are male) looking at photos or videos of nude or partially dressed women, or pics and videos of the so-called “hard core” variety that pervade the Internet today?

Most modern men and women, particularly those who have benefitted from a liberal arts education, consider pornography at worst a low form of entertainment, maybe a waste of one’s time and mental capacity, but certainly not the source of any real damage or injury. Men, particularly married men, who spend significant amounts of time and money looking at porn often rationalize their pornography addiction in the same manner that they rationalize looking lustfully at a woman in a strip club or on the street, by taking a “look but don’t touch” attitude or by telling themselves that pornography adds “spice” or excitement to their marriage. In the typical modern man’s mind, it’s perfectly all right to deliberately become sexually aroused, whether it be through looking at strippers, porn, or the hot little number at the office, as long as the ultimate beneficiary of that arousal is his wife. If he brings it on home to momma, who cares where he got it?

Here it comes, guys! The message! Maybe I should have warned you ahead of time, but first I wanted to get your attention. The problem with that pattern of thinking is that it goes against God’s law set forth in Scripture. The Seventh Commandment is: Thou shalt not commit adultery. The Old Testament penalty for violation of that commandment was death by stoning. Christ taught that if a man so much as looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her. Everywhere in the Bible sexual immorality is condemned. Go to Bible Gateway here:

https://www.biblegateway.com, or use any other scriptural online resource and search the scriptures for “sexual immorality,” “lust,” “adultery,” or “fornication” if you don’t want to take my word for it. Everywhere you look in the Old and New Testaments, you will find that sexual immorality in all its varied forms is roundly condemned.

So if you believe, as I do, that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, you begin to understand that God takes adultery, fornication, and homosexual acts (whether between men or women) very, very seriously. In a true sense, these are all capital offense. Unrepentant adultery—and remember, Christ Himself taught that lustful thoughts are equivalent to the act itself—leads to the death not only of the body, but of the soul.

So do me a favor and read your Bible. Right now, even if you haven’t for years. Find it, dust it off, and consider whether looking at pornography is the way God wants you to spend your time and energy, or whether He has greater things in mind for you.

Think I’m overstating my case that sexual immorality leads to death? Look at the worldwide AIDS statistics today. Check out the crime blotter anywhere in the United States and see how many murders can be traced directly to acts of adultery, not to mention rape, child molestation, and sexual offenses of every kind. For all too many men, pornography is the gateway that leads to destruction.

Think you may be addicted to porn? You’re probably right. If you’re unsure, why not take the free Sexual Addiction Screening Test here:

[+ https://www.recoveryzone.com/tests/sex-addiction/SAST/index.php+]

I hope you will give careful consideration to the foregoing thoughts and will stop looking at pornography. Seek professional help if you need it. If you want to talk about it any further, you can feel free to email me here:

drmalachipetros@gmail.com

I will respond confidentially to all serious emails received.

 

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

 

Exodus 20:14 (from the Ten Commandments): “You shall not commit adultery.” (All Scriptural references are to the New International Version.)

Matthew 5:27-28 (the commandment of Christ): “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Mark 7: 21-23 (the words of Christ): ^ ^^“For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, ^ ^adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. ^All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

(Note how one in four of the evil thoughts Christ condemns relate to lust: Sexual immorality, adultery, and lewdness. Note also that sexual immorality is the first evil thought Christ mentions. He places it at the very top of the list.)

Matthew 15: 18-19 (the words of Christ): “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”

(Notice how Christ places adultery and sexual immorality right after murder in his list of thoughts that defile a person. Note also that although the two Gospel accounts appear to differ as far as providing examples of defiling thoughts, nevertheless adultery and sexual immorality figure prominently in both Biblical passages.)

Proverbs 6: 20-35: “My son, keep your father’s command
p.    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
^21 ^Bind them always on your heart;
p.    fasten them around your neck.
^22 ^When you walk, they will guide you;
p.    when you sleep, they will watch over you;
p.    when you awake, they will speak to you.
^23 ^For this command is a lamp,
p.    this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
p.    are the way to life,
^24 ^keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,
p.    from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.

^25 ^Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
p.    or let her captivate you with her eyes.

^26 ^For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,
p.    but another man’s wife preys on your very life.
^27 ^Can a man scoop fire into his lap
p.    without his clothes being burned?
^28 ^Can a man walk on hot coals
p.    without his feet being scorched?
^29 ^So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
p.    no one who touches her will go unpunished.

^30 ^People do not despise a thief if he steals
p.    to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
^31 ^Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
p.    though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
^32 ^But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
p.    whoever does so destroys himself.
^33 ^Blows and disgrace are his lot,
p.    and his shame will never be wiped away.

^34 ^For jealousy arouses a husband’s fury,
p.    and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.
^35 ^He will not accept any compensation;
p.    he will refuse a bribe, however great it is.”

Solomon, thought by some to be the wisest man in history, tells it like it is. Will you listen?

Romans 1: 21-27: “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.”

(What is this “due penalty” men received in themselves? Perhaps the Four D’s come to mind: Defilement, Divorce, Disease, and Death. Could it be that Christians two thousand years ago understood the dangers of indulging one’s lusts more clearly than we Christians do today? Note how well the above selection from Paul’s epistle to the Romans traces the slippery-slope progression from 1.) failure to worship or give thanks to God, to 2.) futile thoughts and “darkened” emotions, to 3.) degrading of the body, to 4.) perversions, to 5.) the ultimate “due penalty.”)

Leviticus 20:10 (The Word of the Lord to Moses): “‘f a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.’”

(Seem harsh? In this age of serial marriages, swinging, Ashley Madison, and Craigslist adult personals, the command of God set forth in the Old Testament might shock us. I understand that Old Testament law does not apply in its entirety to Christians. See the Book of Acts, 15: 28-9, where circa 30 AD the Jerusalem Council, which included the Apostle James, wrote to the Gentile believers in part as follows:  “It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell.”

See how the command against sexual immorality was viewed as so important that it had to be passed along even to the Gentile Christian converts, even though the bulk of the Mosaic Code was not similarly imposed? Read in conjunction to the earlier passages cited and the Scriptures as a whole, it is radiantly obvious that sexual immorality is everywhere condemned in the Bible. We in modern times ignore this basic fact at our extreme peril.)

Proverbs 9: 13-18: Folly is an unruly woman;
p.    she is simple and knows nothing.
^14 ^She sits at the door of her house,
p.    on a seat at the highest point of the city,
^15 ^calling out to those who pass by,
p.    who go straight on their way,
^16 ^    “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
^17 ^    “Stolen water is sweet;
p.    food eaten in secret is delicious!”
^18 ^But little do they know that the dead are there,
p.    that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.

Proverbs 30:20: “This is the way of an adulterous woman:
p.    She eats and wipes her mouth
p.    and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’”

(Note the wisdom contained in the foregoing brief passage, how ancient people living in a pre-scientific age understood the psychological phenomenon of denial.)

 

 

WHAT DO DOCTORS SAY?

A. FUTILE THOUGHTS AND DARKENED EMOTIONS

In a scholarly study entitled Pornography Addiction: a Neuroscience Perspective,

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/

published by Surgical Neurology International in February 2011 it is stated: “A recent study supports growing evidence that compulsive sexuality can indeed be addictive. In 2007, a VBM study out of Germany looked specifically at pedophilia, and demonstrated almost identical finding to the cocaine, methamphetamine, and obesity studies.[citation omitted] It concludes for the first time that a sexual compulsion can cause physical, anatomic change in the brain, the hallmark of brain addiction. A preliminary study showed frontal dysfunction specifically in patients unable to control their sexual behavior. [citation omitted] This study used diffusion MRI to evaluate function of nerve transmission through white matter. It demonstrated abnormality in the superior frontal region, an area associated with compulsivity.” (Emphasis added.)

Or, as the Good Book says, their “hearts were darkened.”

There appears to be an ongoing debate in the medical and psychological community whether sexual addiction, sometimes referred to as hypersexual behavior disorder or hypersexual activity disorder, is a “true” addiction or whether it is merely a manifestation of compulsive behavior. (This debate probably has more to do with whether your insurance will pay for treatment than anything else.) But to a person caught up in the snare of lust and battling evil passions, it hardly matters who wins the academic debate. If someone’s aiming a firearm at you, you don’t stop to ask him whether it’s a Glock or a Remington. All you want to do is to dodge that bullet and escape.

A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine sets forth various criteria for determining whether an individual suffers from hypersexual disorder. “These include a recurring pattern of sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors lasting a period of six months or longer that are not caused by other issues, such as substance abuse, another medical condition or manic episodes associated with bipolar disorder. Also, individuals who might be diagnosed with this disorder must show a pattern of sexual activity in response to unpleasant mood states, such as feeling depressed, or a pattern of repeatedly using sex as a way of coping with stress. Part of the criteria also states that individuals must be unsuccessful in their attempts to reduce or stop sexual activities they believe are problematic.” [http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/how-to-prove-a-sexual-addiction-239783]

 

Are they talking about you?

 

Dr. Patrick Carnes, perhaps the leading authority today on the psychology of sexual addiction, has identified these ten warning signs that you may be a sex addict:

 

*
p<{color:#000;}. Have you experienced difficulty resisting impulses to engage in sexual behaviors?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Have you tried to stop, control, or reduce these behaviors?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Have you thought of killing yourself because of your sexual behaviors?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Have you experienced legal consequences due to your sexual behaviors?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Do you spend large amounts of time trying to get sex or recover from being sexual?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Do you ever feel anxious or irritable if you are unable to engage in sexual behaviors?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Do you worry that others will find out about your sexual activities?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?

*
p<{color:#000;}. Are you experiencing family problems as a result of your behaviors?

 

CASE HISTORY #1: TAMI

 

One of my patients, a woman we’ll call “Tami” (not her real name), in her early fifties, happily married for many years and working toward her PhD in psychology, ultimately saw herself in the foregoing study’s description. In fact, when I first met her professionally she could honestly check off all ten warning signs.

 

Having become dissatisfied and bored with her husband, and blaming him for what she considered to be an unsatisfying sexual relationship (they both were Roman Catholic and the husband refused to have oral sex, believing it to be against God’s law), she sought out furtive, near-anonymous sexual encounters with strange men and women through Craigslist adult personals and also via a well-known free dating site on the Internet. She was not a particularly attractive woman, but no matter. Her willingness to degrade herself and risk secretly meeting strangers for promiscuous oral sex was enough to attract others, many or all of whom probably shared her diagnosed condition of hypersexual disorder.

 

Sure enough, before long Tami had more than enough local male partners, not to mention two bisexual married women partners, all of whom were only too happy to supply her with the sexual stimulation she thought was lacking at home. Most of these encounters took place at a particular cheap motel, located in a high-crime area, where the rooms rented by the hour and Tami usually paid. (Not exactly a dream date situation.)

 

The result? She picked up not only a series of overeager sex partners but also 1.) a persistent stalker, whose unwanted attentions ultimately required the intervention of law enforcement and the courts, and 2.) a chlamydia infection that proved quite resistant to treatment. Before realizing it, she had infected her husband as well. Ultimately the couple divorced.

 

During the course of her treatment it was discovered that, although she showed no symptoms, she also carried the human papilloma virus. She was beyond childbearing age and sterility was not a concern, but I felt obligated to advise her that the human papilloma virus (HPV) can cause cervical and other cancers including cancer of the vulva, vagina, penis, and anus. It can also cause cancer in the back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils, known as oropharyngeal cancer.

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm

 

In other words, both she and her unfortunate and unsuspecting male (and female) partners would carry in their bodies the risk of developing devastating cancers like a ticking time bomb. Or, in other words, the “due penalty” for having indulged and given in to their lust.

 

Yet again we witness the dreary progression: depraved thoughts and darkened hearts lead to degrading of the body, perversions, and the ultimate “due penalty,” which in the case of my patient might have been fully realized if her thought patterns and her behavior had not radically changed in the nick of time. 

 

If you find yourself hostage to lust, traveling down that road to ruin like a zombie, seemingly unable to control yourself, you don’t have to end up where my patient was headed before the Lord intervened in her life. Tami found herself depressed, alone and filled with bitter regret. Paradoxically, as in the Journal of Sexual Medicine study, she was so tortured by these depressed moods that she was led further and further into risky, even dangerous sexual encounters. She felt totally helpless, completely unable to extricate herself from this vicious cycle of despair and degradation.

 

After every sexual encounter, Tami invariably suffered bouts of crippling guilt, self-loathing, and firm resolutions to “never, never do anything like that, ever again.” (She would say this to me in therapy, her eyes clamped tightly shut, shaking her head.) Without exception, within a few days she would once again cruise the Internet seeking other sexual addicts for even more shameful acts. The word “shameful” is appropriate: Tami seemed to crave the act of degrading herself with other like-minded persons. Interestingly enough, she related to me in treatment how she would talk nonstop while her partner was servicing her orally.

 

At one point, I admit that I persuaded her, strictly for therapeutic purposes, to surreptitiously audiorecord one of her trysts. (The questionable ethics of my request is the main reason I am writing this book pseudonymously.) As I listened to the audio recording, I was struck by how my patient’s running commentary, her sexual logorrhea if you will, always centered on criticism of and scorn for her husband’s bedroom performance, coupled with repeated derogatory and sexually shaming self-castigation. In particular, she would repeat over and over, like a negative mantra, “My husband says I’m a slut.”

 

When Tami and I listened to the audio recording together in a therapy session, it truly shocked her. She felt ashamed, yet surprised at hearing the words that came out of her mouth. During that appointment she asked me more than once to shut off the recording but I insisted upon her listening to it in its entirety, and then played it once again in full. It may sound cruel and unfeeling, but it was quite the contrary. You see, Tami had to confront who and what she had become if she ever hoped to get well. I had to force Tami to take a long, hard look at herself in the proverbial mirror before I as her therapist could break through the wall of denial that she, with Satan’s help, had built around her heart and her mind. And, thanks be to God, the “shock therapy” proved successful. Tami was at last ready to be cured.

 

That’s when I introduced Tami to my 30-Day Lust Cure. And it’s not complicated. In fact, if you’re ready to be cured of your addiction, you can do the same thing in the privacy of your own home. Are you ready to be cured?

 

Tami is a changed woman today. Recently she became a grandmother, and the love and affection she and her former husband share for their grandchild show encouraging signs of drawing the couple closer toward an eventual reconciliation and possibly even remarriage. I for one will continue to pray for them both and would ask you to do the same.

 

B. DEGRADING OF THE BODY

We have already seen how drifting away from God, ignoring his blessings, failing to express our thanks to God for all he is doing for us, refusing or merely neglecting to glorify him in worship, thanksgiving and prayer, all can lead and does inexorably lead to a depraved mind and a darkened heart. Thoughts are things, and can exercise an overwhelming influence and control over our bodies. As Our Lord tells us in Luke 11:34, “Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness.” Remember, the Gospel of Luke was written by a physician. Who better than a doctor to note and take down the words of Christ about the source of spiritual and physical health and disease.

If your eye is the lamp of your body, do you use your eyes to study Holy Scripture, or do you abuse those eyes by staring at pornographic videos and pictures, reading pornographic stories, ogling strippers, or staring at women in the street or at the office? Be honest with yourself, and ask yourself how much time in the course of a typical week you misspend looking at unwholesome images and stories. Take a few moments and keep a simple tally sheet over the next several days. If you are captive to lust, as many Americans are these days without acknowledging it, I’ll bet the numbers will astonish you!

Do you think poring over porn is harmless? Can you honestly apply the foregoing Scriptural passage to yourself and hope to maintain that opinion?

James 1:13-15: “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

So we see that there is an invariable progression that begins with one’s yielding to temptation, leading to sin, which if left unchecked by repentance, leads to death—death, of course, being the ultimate degradation of the flesh.

CASE HISTORY #2: LOU

Lou (not his real name) was and is a longtime friend of mine who became my patient because of a particularly embarrassing and vexing problem: erectile dysfunction. Lou had been married for ten years to a lovely Christian woman named Janis (not her real name either). They had two beautiful, healthy children, great careers, and in short were living the American Dream. As time went on, however, Lou noticed a disquieting inability to maintain a satisfactory erection whenever he and Janis made love. Consequently, due to the humiliation and discouragement Lou experienced at each unsuccessful attempt, those attempts grew less and less frequent, until Lou and Janis were living together under the same roof more as sister and brother than a happily married couple.

Many doctors would routinely prescribe a pill such as Viagra or Cialis and send Lou on his way. I am not that kind of doctor. Erectile dysfunction drugs often have dangerous or even deadly side effects and are not to be taken routinely, and certainly not before conducting a thorough physical examination of the patient. I prescribe such drugs as a last resort, and in many cases, such as elderly patients or patients at risk for heart attack or stroke, not at all. Although Lou is a relatively young man, I didn’t want to overprescribe and lose my friend, especially if there were a less radical alternative that would cure his problem.

We performed the usual tests to determine whether the cause of Lou’s disorder was physical or psychological in nature. Without going into detail, we ordered a sleep test where it was concluded that Lou was still able to have a nocturnal erection, and that therefore the problem lay hidden deep within his psyche. I counseled Lou on several occasions, trying to get him to open up to me as his therapist. He denied falling out of love with Janis. No, there was definitely no other woman in his life. No other man, either. We talked earnestly about what if anything had changed in his life that might have brought about the distressing loss of his ability to share gratifying and fulfilling marital relations with his wife. And finally, after much soul-searching on Lou’s part, he at last disclosed a particularly embarrassing secret. Finally, we had discovered the cause of his problem.

Lou had developed an addiction to Internet pornography. He confided to me that he often spent four to seven hours per day viewing hard core videos online. There are numerous free websites where it is possible to find these types of materials. Lou’s pattern was to feign insomnia, then wait either after Janis went to sleep or before dawn, and feast on sexually explicit videos by the hour. Although often exhausted to the point he was falling asleep at work, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from compulsively focusing on explicit videos day after day and night after night. As Lou described it, while viewing these videos he would slip a hand inside his pants and continually massage and manipulate his genitals in a masturbatory sense, but at the same time would fight against the urge to climax. Lou had become severely addicted to arousal. He didn’t know where to turn for help. As he expressed it, he would “rather die” than broach the subject confidentially with his pastor.

If this all sounds like a harmless or innocuous pastime, rather than a toxic dynamic luring us to our deaths, consider this: Lou became so distraught by his lack of self-control and failure of self-discipline, that in his despair he actually contemplated suicide. Other men have surrendered to that same fate due to sexual or porn addiction.

Laying aside for a moment the threat of depression that can lead to suicide, consider that experts basically agree that excessive viewing of pornographic images such as the ones available for free over the Internet can cause impotence in men of any age, but particularly in younger men. Frequent viewing of porn creates a form of stimulus overload and desensitizes the brain, making it progressively more difficult to become aroused by normal stimuli that had formerly proven sufficient to cause arousal. See, for example, this recent article in the popular magazine Everyday Health.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/news/erection-problems-this-habit-may-why/

See also the fascinating video YOUR BRAIN ON PORN for a superb and highly instructive explication of the subject under discussion: https://youtu.be/7oFVOJf0TzY

Very enlightening website explains the science in lay terms: http://yourbrainonporn.com/

Once the cause of his problem was apparent, Lou agreed to take my 30-Day Lust Cure. As I said earlier, if you’re ready to be cured of your addiction, you can do the same thing in the privacy of your own home. Are you ready to be cured?

Today Lou is once more a fulfilled and happy man. He is free of pornography’s curse. And in bed? Just ask Janis. When I did, I suddenly realized: that’s one question that will have her smiling from ear to ear.

C. Perversions

Consider once more the words of the Apostle Paul in Roman 1: 26-27: “Because of this [knowing God but neither glorifying Him nor giving thanks to Him], God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.”

Paul is speaking to us about perversions. In the last few years, the Evil One has made great inroads in his relentless campaign to pervert our minds, darken our hearts and blind our eyes to the Truth. In the United States today it is no longer politically correct to publicly condemn behavior clearly forbidden in both the Old and New Testaments. The United States Supreme Court has struck down state laws that limited or prohibited homosexual marriage. See Chapter One, Pornography: What are the Facts? for a fuller explication of sweeping historical change over the last few decades.

Am I lobbying in favor of laws that foster or encourage bigotry? Not at all. Christ’s command in Matthew 7: 1 is abundantly clear: “Judge not, that you be not judged.” But remember, we Christians must always remain mindful of the fact that, although we may be living in the world, we are not of the world. Consider 1 Peter 11-16: “Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves.”

CASE STUDY #3: KEN

When I first met Ken (not his real name), he was a 19-year-old college sophomore, and he was in a bad way. Ken was pursuing a challenging field of study at a major Midwestern university, and had been earning excellent grades until a troublesome personal problem interfered. Ken came to me and after mustering his courage, managed to tell me that he was seeking a medical test for HIV/AIDS. I don’t know what kind of reaction Ken had expected from me, but the truth is I am never shocked by such a request from a patient. More and more people come to me literally sick with worry after an unwise and unprotected sexual encounter, fearful that they may have caught the AIDS virus.

Long story short, Ken’s test was negative: he had not been exposed to the virus. But his problem ran much deeper, as I was about to discover through a series of heart-to-heart talks with this troubled young man.

Without going into detail and risk encouraging others to seek out such “entertainments,” let me preface this case history by stating that in the metropolitan area where Ken and I reside, and in many others as well, there are “clubs” almost as elaborate as shopping malls, where strippers perform live shows, “adult” merchandise and hard core pornography are offered for sale, and two movie theaters are open in the same complex. One of those theaters (more like a small screening room with couches instead of seats) is designated the “gay” theater and the other, somewhat larger, is deemed the “straight” theater.

I scarcely need describe what goes in those theaters other than as pertains to Ken’s case. In both theaters, open masturbation by patrons is tolerated by the management, and particularly in the “gay” theater, so is anonymous male-to-male mutual masturbation and fellatio. Men advertise their availability and share their plans to attend these theaters on media such as Craigslist adult personals, and even make “dates” to meet other men there for illicit sex. Private booths are also offered for a few dollars, where two or more men can degrade themselves with each other. (Are you beginning to see why I receive so many AIDS test requests?)

Bored after a long period of study, Ken idly surfed the Internet one night when one of those Craigslist ads I mentioned caught his eye and piqued his (prurient) interest. I should state that Ken is a rather naïve young man who had lived a quiet and sheltered life in his parents’ home. He and his family were regular churchgoers, active in church activities. Ken had never dated in high school and at the university he attended, he was more or less an outcast due to his conservative religious faith. Overtures to women students were as often as not met with scorn and derision. Discouraged, Ken resorted to occasional masturbation, which left him guilt-ridden and ashamed of himself, so much so that he neglected his church attendance, like so many of the other students around him. He had never even remotely considered himself “gay” or “bisexual” in any way, and would have been angered if anyone else had suggested it.

Enter Craiglist. Or should I say, enter Satan? In his loneliness and self-loathing, Ken quickly became preoccupied with the idea of surreptitiously meeting another man for the sole purpose of committing a perverted sex act. The idea so intrigued him that it began to prey upon his mind. There was a bit of self-pity going on there too; Ken listened to the lies Satan kept whispering in his ear, telling him that all the female rejection he had endured somehow earned him the right to an illicit sexual release, meanwhile exaggerating the intensity of the supposed pleasure to be had in violating one of society’s taboos, and telling Ken how very smart and sophisticated he would be if he were to meet another man in the club and share secret, perverted sex. Of course Satan added, as he always does, that no one would ever know.

I probably don’t need to dwell on where the story goes from here. Suffice it to say that Ken did give in to temptation, not once but many times, and that he met numerous other men both at the club, in private booths and eventually in private homes, later in public park restrooms and even in the car his parents had purchased for him when he went away to college. He carried a bottle of mouthwash containing alcohol (he had read somewhere that alcohol kills the AIDS virus) in his car, and after each illicit sexual encounter would busy himself with a nervous ritual of repeated spitting, washing out his mouth over and over, sometimes vomiting, and then using his mouthwash yet again. All this was invariably accompanied by tortured bouts of self-castigation and bitter remorse. Back at the dorm, he would be seized with the haunting fear that AIDS-infected sperm cells from some stranger’s semen had somehow adhered to the surface of his teeth. He would obsessively brush his teeth as much as every hour of the day in an attempt to remove this supposed source of contagion. He would brush and brush until his gums literally bled. (Of course, Ken’s behavior in this one respect was counterproductive; research tells us that even a minor oral bleed opens the door to transmission if the AIDS virus is present.)

Sound like fun? Ken didn’t think so, but then again, he could not seem to control his passion, his obsession with the self-degrading and self-destructive vicious cycle he had set in motion. His grades slipped and his class attendance fell, to the point Ken considered dropping out of college. Even worse, in his isolation, Ken contemplated doing away with himself (which probably had been Satan’s ultimate plan for him all along.)

As you can probably guess, it was extremely difficult for Ken to reveal his sad history to me, even in therapy. Despite our modern society’s attempts to define people as “gay,” “bisexual,” or “straight,” it is a fact that men exposed to pornography on a regular basis will seek out greater and more intense stimuli in order to attain the same level of arousal. It is all a function of dopamine levels in the brain.

Compare drug addiction, where the addict needs progressively larger and larger doses of the drug in question in order to acquire the same euphoric effect. That is why men (and most pornography addicts are men) turn from the more familiar types of images to forbidden and taboo areas of pornography (homosexual, BDSM, even “kiddie porn”) in order to maintain the degree of arousal they crave. In Ken’s case, to paraphrase Ken’s own words, he wasn’t “gay” but he had become preoccupied with other men’s penises: their size, their shape, their length and circumference, their color. Nevertheless, Ken had no desire whatsoever for a romantic or any other relationship with another man. Ken was “straight,” and yet the netherworld of porn and sex clubs had drawn him into perversion and into behavior that simultaneously attracted and paradoxically repelled him, until he reached the point where his very life was in jeopardy.

Ken truly believed in his heart that his case was hopeless. My first step, therefore, was to convince him that it was absolutely essential for him to renew his faith. I successfully accomplished this through my 30-Day Lust Cure. Like many others, by God’s grace Ken was cured.

Today Ken is a graduate student in molecular biology. He aspires to do research to find a cure for AIDS. I wish him well. If you’re ready to be cured of your addiction, you too can be cured. Are you ready?

“The Due Penalty”

Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Think the Apostle Paul meant that “wages of sin is death” thing metaphorically? Think again. As you can see in the above case histories, in each example the patient either contracted an STD or flirted with the idea of suicide. A respectable grandmother faced divorce and disgrace, a family man was rendered impotent, and a young college man developed a perversion that drove him nearly mad.

Is it worth it? Satan lies to each and every one of us, every chance he gets. Or I should say, every chance we give him. The Apostle James says, in James 4: 7: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

In the case of Tami, she related to me in therapy that although she faked multiple orgasms in each illicit sexual encounter, the fact of the matter is that she would briefly climax once, almost immediately after the first sexual contact, and then no more. It’s called a plateau phase. Although her climax had lasted for mere seconds, during that long plateau phase, every fervid effort at sexual stimulation by her partner was repugnant to her, irritating her to the point of exasperation, rather like an unwanted tickling. The only reason she let it go on and on was that she dreaded what came next; the inevitable demand for reciprocation. And having to reciprocate orally for her partner filled her with revulsion.

Tami’s guilt and self-loathing made her even more irritable at home, more ready to argue and bicker with her husband over every slight and every insensitive remark on his part, whether real or imagined. As a result, they soon had no sex life at all. The Devil always cheats us, promising us unspeakable pleasures if we will only commit that first sin, that first transgression. Then, after we give in, the Evil One steals away our happiness and our peace that had been God’s free gifts to us. The only thing the Devil offers us in exchange for our birthright is an all-too-brief and transitory thrill, then instantly snatches away even that meager short-lived stirring of the loins, only to leave us with a world of guilt, sorrow and bitter regret.

You see, despite her protests, the fact remained that Tami’s values ran a fairly close parallel to those of the husband she had so reviled. And try as she might, Tami couldn’t square the idea of performing oral sex on a stranger with her own deeply held personal values and those of her Church. That internal conflict played havoc with her mental health and threatened her faith. A Roman Catholic, she couldn’t bring herself to reveal her sins in confession to her priest. That in turn prevented her from partaking in Holy Communion. She began to ask herself why she was even bothering to go to church services at all. Despite all her futile attempts to reconcile her sexual misbehavior with Scripture or the teachings of Christ and the Church, ultimately she had to choose one or the other. Fortunately, she made the right choice.

In the case of Lou, his enslavement by the false god pornography (for that’s what pornography had become for Lou, a false god whom he worshipped with even greater fervor that the pagans had served their ancient “gods”) deadened his penis, as a practical matter, and rendered it impossible for him to enjoy normal intercourse or to perform sexually with his wife. His reluctance to discuss his addiction with his pastor drove a wedge between him and his church, to the point where he stopped going to Sunday services at all. Janis and the children went without him. And every Sunday, before the car was even out of the driveway, there would be Lou seated at the computer with his pants unzipped. The resultant humiliation and near-despair he suffered practically drove him to suicide before he underwent my 30-Day Lust Cure.

Ken wished he’d never run across that first Craiglist ad during a nighttime study break. He discovered things about himself he would have much preferred not knowing, such as the shocking extent to which the human brain can become corrupted and twisted by illicit stimuli. Medical science has shown that the physical manifestations in the body during illicit sex closely resemble those of an anxiety attack: shortness of breath or hyperventilation; heart palpitations or a racing heart; chest pain or discomfort; trembling or shaking; feeling unreal or detached from your surroundings; sweating, nausea or upset stomach; feeling dizzy, light-headed, or faint; numbness or tingling sensations; hot or cold flashes; fear of dying, losing control, or going crazy. Ken described most if not all of these signs when we explored them in therapy. If Ken had harbored an undiagnosed heart or other circulatory problem, even though a young man he might have suffered a heart attack or a stroke during one of his illicit assignations.

We will never know how close Ken eventually came to suicide, but the path he was traveling was sure to lead to premature and ignominious death in one form or another.

The “due penalty” of our lust can be summed up in four words, and they all begin with “D”: Defilement, Divorce, Disease, and Death. It’s a progression, meaning one leads to the other. The Devil invented it and wants to use it for our destruction. You don’t have to let him. James 4: 7: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Ready for the cure? Here it is. And it’s simple as can be.

THE 30-DAY LUST CURE

A. Learn to Forgive (Even Yourself)

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies. But have you ever heard the expression, “he’s his own worst enemy”? We need to forgive ourselves for the sins we have committed. If we repent, God forgives us. He has already forgiven us through the blood that was shed once for all by Jesus Christ on the cross two thousand years ago. It’s time we forgave ourselves as well as our enemies.

Some people, particularly those of us who may have fallen victim to lust in one or more of its many guises, are so wrapped up in our personal feelings of guilt that we doubt we can ever forgive ourselves. That’s just another aspect of our lack of trust in God and of our doubting His mercy. Satan whispers in our ears that what we’ve done is so bad, so loathsome, such a betrayal of our loved ones and ourselves, that we have placed ourselves beyond the pale of God’s forgiveness, when in fact nothing could be further from the truth.

Step One: forgive yourself. Just do it. Now. Take a deep breath, gather up all those guilt-laden molecules, and the exhale. Let them all out. You are God’s child, His creation. He loves you unconditionally. He knew you would make this slip and fall into sin. He knew it before the creation of the World and the beginning of time. And He sent His only Son to die for you and for all of us, so that we could be forgiven all our sins.

Now ask yourself: if God has already forgiven you, why are you holding yourself hostage? Forgive yourself now!

B. The Dreaded “A” Word

We’ve all heard about abstinence. Abstinence is almost a joke in our culture today. Mention abstinence and we think of medieval monks and nuns, or movies about insatiably horny teenagers. We shudder to think of the seeming impossibility of remaining sexually chaste for more than even a very few days. We assume it’s impossible to be celibate. Everybody tells us it’s impossible and unthinkable for a healthy person to live a celibate life.

And I’m not asking you to. At least, not for life. Only for thirty days. That’s where my 30-Day Lust Cure gets its name. After you’ve forgiven yourself, the next step is to stay away from pornography and other illicit stimuli, from masturbation and from every form of sex outside of marriage, for thirty days. Mark it on the calendar. Use a code if you like. But discipline yourself for those thirty days. You can do it. You know you can do it. Others have. So can you.

C. Rewiring Your Brain

I could explain all about the medical science as far as how this works. But basically, if you’re addicted to arousal (lust), you’re addicted to dopamine, a chemical substance that’s regulated by your own body and your own mind. Dopamine, and your particular self-imposed dependence on it, manifests as a virtually irresistible habit: either looking at pornography, habitual masturbation, seeking out illicit sex partners, including but not limited to committing sex crimes, or all of the above.

You must first break your dopamine dependence by going “cold turkey.” It’s actually easier and quicker than quitting cigarettes or going on a weight reduction diet. But to break the dopamine habit you have to follow the first two steps of my 30-Day Lust Cure: Forgive yourself, and abstain from pornography and sex for thirty days. During that time your brain, which is exceedingly malleable and clever, will retrace the negative neuronal pathways and go a long way toward making lust a thing in your past, not a dominant force in your life. If you’ve completed steps one and two, and are letting your brain do the work on step three, you’re almost there. But one more thing is essential. And it’s by far the most important.

D. The Power of Prayer

James 5: 17: “Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.”

Too many Christians today doubt the power of prayer. They are like those denounced by Paul in his second letter to Timothy, “having a form of godliness but denying its power.” Paul cautions Timothy to “have nothing to do with such people.” 2 Timothy 5.

The power of prayer is truly awesome! To succeed in my 30-Day Lust Cure, you must pray to Christ Himself, frequently and fervently, that He will release you from the snare of lust. And if you ask it in His name, He will do it. Remember Matthew 21:21, 22: “Jesus replied, ‘Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.’”

To the same effect is Mark 11: 22-26: “‘Have faith in God,” Jesus answered.^ ^^‘Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ^And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.’”

Do you see the solution? Listen to the words of Christ.

1.) Have faith in God.

2.) Ask God in prayer to free you from the snare of lust.

3.) Believe in your heart that he has already released you from the curse of lust.

4.) If you hold anything against anybody, forgive them. And that includes forgiving yourself!

If you will do all these things, God Himself will set you free from the prison of lust.

Sound simple? It is. If you will follow these steps, Christ Himself will open the door of freedom for you. I promise and pledge to each and every one of you who reads this book that I will pray for you on a daily basis, fervently entreating God in His mercy to bless you and free you from lust. God bless all of you.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Malachi Petros is first and foremost a Christian believer. Dr. Petros conducts his professional practice in the Midwestern United States. In conjunction with his practice he has counseled literally hundreds of individuals who have come to him seeking his professional help in dealing with their vexing personal problems. After much study, he developed the 30-Day Lust Cure in response to frequent requests and because he saw a need to promulgate his methods to a wider audience and to provide the general public with an effective cure for lust. Dr. Petros is married with four children.

 

 

 

 

 


The 30-Day Lust Cure

Applying the Word of God to break the curse of lust, Dr. Malachi Petros offers a miraculous new cure for those afflicted with the sin of lust, written from a Christian and Bible-based spiritual perspective. Citing Scripture as well as the latest cutting-edge scientific research, Dr. Petros shows how to vanquish the sin of lust and live a guilt-free and fulfilling life in Christ. Using case histories drawn from actual treatment subjects, Dr. Petros guides the layman through the process of gaining release from the slavery of lust.

  • ISBN: 9781311938220
  • Author: Malachi Petros
  • Published: 2015-11-21 17:20:07
  • Words: 9767
The 30-Day Lust Cure The 30-Day Lust Cure