By Floyd Larck
Published by Floyd Larck at Smashwords
Proofread & Edited by:
Debbie Larck & Kim Rose
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As a parent you sometimes wonder if you did a good enough job in raising your children. Sadly, there are some parents who could care less about how their children grow up. But there are many more that do care about how their children are raised. Did we give them enough? Did we give them too much?
When it came down to spiritual matters Christian parents often wonder if they were a good enough example for their children as they were growing up. Were their children exposed to godly influences? Did their children have access to godly influences? This is especially important during the adolescent years when children try to find their pathway in their own life. Did they, as Christian parents, get their children into too many ministry related events? Not enough?
There are numerous other issues parents wonder about, sometimes to the point of fussing over them. Many parents try to shove their religion down a child’s metaphorical throat which normally drives a child away from God. Instead they should train up a child and then trust God to draw their children into a Christ centered relationship.
In this case we, my wife Debbie, and I can say our two daughters have grown to be the godly women we always wanted them to be. Both daughters have married hard working men of God who value family as much as my wife and I do. When you come from a dysfunctional family as my wife and I have done you strive for a different life for your children.
This story is about one woman’s God inspired love for her sister who was unable to have children of her own. Our eldest daughter Chris and her husband have suffered through five heartbreaking miscarriages. They finally came to the realization that they were to be one of those couples who spent their lives together childless. Chris had previously confided to Debbie that Chris and her husband, Elliot were content to live that way if it was the will of God. However, God wasn’t saying no to them having a child of their own.
Our youngest daughter Kim felt the call of God to become a surrogate for her sister. After having two beautiful daughters of her own our youngest knew what heartache her sister was going through. Mary answered the call to bear a child named Jesus for the world who brought joy into the world. Kim answered God’s call for her to bear a child for her sister and brought joy into our families.
This is their story through a parent’s point of view.
Our youngest daughter Kim stopped by to see my wife and me one day, about midafternoon as I recall it. It isn’t unusual for either of our daughters to stop by our house. Sometimes just for a chat, sometimes to show us something new they bought. Then sometimes they will come by to get a copy of a recipe out of my wife’s vast cookbook/recipe collection. But that day it was just a chat between the three of us. When it was over I caught myself staring at this woman seated next to me as if I’d just met her. A quick glance over at my wife I could see her eyes getting watery. When I realized what she had just told us I knew… I just knew we had done a pretty good job at raising our two girls. We’ll come back to this in a bit.
Our other daughter, our eldest, goes by Chris. Chris and her husband, Elliot, have been married thirteen plus years. During their marriage they have suffered (sorry, but I can’t think of a better word) through five miscarriages. As the parents, my wife and I feel for our child. Our hearts break for the lost grandchildren but our focus was on Chris the whole time. No… we cannot honestly say we know what Chris and Elliot went through. No one knows the heartbreak of miscarriages unless you have travelled that painful road yourself.
Chris didn’t have any problems getting pregnant, it was staying pregnant that was the problem. It had something to do with DNA issues and at least one tubular pregnancy that failed. From a parent’s point of view it seemed like the pain needed be avoided after that many disappointments. Heartbreaking? Yes, for them. For us it wasn’t the same kind of pain as our pain was more for our daughter’s disappointments. We never pressured our daughters. Not through school. We never told them they had to be married by a certain age. Nor did we pressure them about grandchildren once they did get married. In this case we never mentioned to Chris and Elliot that they should stop trying to have a child. Although the two of us felt that God never opened a door of communications in that area.
Kim and her husband, Clint, have given us two darling granddaughters. At times I would kid with Kim about a third grandchild. But she would have none of it.
“I’m done!” she would say when I would playfully harass her about another granddaughter.
That brings us back to the subject of her visit that afternoon. Our daughter had something rather important she wanted to share with us. To say she impacted us that afternoon would have been an understatement.
“I have been led by God to become a surrogate mother for my sister.”
What can a parent say at that point? Laugh? Cry? Jump for joy?
From a parent’s point of view it was a bit overwhelming when we realized what a godly woman Kim had become. This news about a surrogacy had just come from the very same woman who proclaimed she was done bearing children. In my own life I’ve known many people who were giving people. I’ve known some generous people. I’ve also known some rather selfish people. But the one seated next to me that afternoon had to be the most self-sacrificing person I’ve ever known.
One point I need to mention here: it was the Lord directing Kim, not a request from the Johnsons. At that point they, Chris and Elliot, had no idea Kim had even been praying about this issue of surrogacy. Unknown to any of us at the time, Chris and Elliot had become submissive to the fact they may spend their marriage childless. They made their peace with God. Not an easy peace I would think. But they did not become bitter against God for their losses. As Chris revealed after our third granddaughter was born, the two of them became closer to God. And ultimately to each other.
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Surrogacy... most people have heard of it. Some have participated in it as surrogates or as the IP (Intended Parents) but this short eBook contains a different perspective. The writers of Surrogacy - A Parent's Point of View are the grandparents. Instead of the point of view of surrogacy coming from the main participants this is from the parents of those involved. Many times family members can be detrimental to those considering surrogacy so this can help the other members of the families involved. There are many differing views about surrogacy on the Internet many of which bring pain to those considering the use of a surrogate. On the other hand there are those who are considering becoming a surrogate either for financial reasons or just to help a family member as was done in this case. Also on the Internet are many biblical accounts of whether or not Christians should participate in surrogacy. No, this eBook does not put that discussion to rest but it does tell you our point of view. There’s nothing confrontational theology wise in the eBook, just our own perspective on Scripture and how it supports the surrogacy in our own family. This is a short eBook, a quick read if you’re commuting in a car pool, train, or bus. Maybe you’re out on vacation and need something easy and light to read. Surrogacy - A Parent's Point of View will fit that niche just fine.