Share a smile / Anonymous for All
The cold wind and huge drops of rain hit her face until it burned up, the sharp droplets and freezing air turning her from the pale woman she is to a red, unrecognisable shadow. There have been many of these freezing nights this year. It was like the world itself could not stop crying the more the years went by. She was on this bridge again, nobody knew how often she came here, not enough people even knew her to care. She stood there, staring in desperation at the concrete below, her saviour. She knew it would be enough one day; the pain she was born of, that never left her, the struggle she faced every day, the amounting force shoving her down, the strength she could barely find anymore to fight it. One day, there would be none left in her and she would take the plunge to that concrete. She thought today was the day, as she did every time she came here, but she knew deep inside she didn’t want to. All she really wanted was for someone to help, for the constant hurt and battle to stop. She looked down in despair and tried to lift her feet to do it, but the echo of an old voice from inside her shouted as hard as it could, trying to reach her from the depths of her mind. “You promised me! You promised you would never give up! You promised it would get better one day!” She remembered herself with bitterness. That little girl, the defenceless little child whom she promised a better life to, she remembered how she had survived all these years, promising herself she would never stop fighting. This was all she knew how to do, hope. But the reserves of hope dwindled as she got older, how much longer could the world be so cruel? How much longer could she believe in a better life when there are so many obstacles in the way? She felt that humongous ball of sorrow inside her, like a ball of snow rolling down a hill, getting bigger and bigger, trying to become so big that it could finally run her over, over the ledge of this god forsaken bridge. But today was not the day, her legs started trembling again, stopping her from jumping. She stared down into the obis and all she could do, was do all she knows how to do. She cried for a few more moments, throwing up the pain, throwing it up until her eyes were dry and her stomach was burning, having nothing left to chuck out, but still clearing out more, until the pain was too great and truly nothing left to come out, breathing heavily and slowly but surely finding her smile. Not a smile of happiness, not yet, just a smile of hope, one lifted by imaginary strings on her cheeks. Pulling them as hard as she could in this moment and stepping back down on to solid ground, just hoping, just praying that this smile could carry her long enough to see true happiness, one day, she convinced herself all over again, one day, she promised the broken child that made her the woman she is. I will do it, she almost started convincing herself. I will fight and somebody, someday will see and help her find her true life, the one she is meant to find, the one that will allow her to ease the pain, perhaps just a little bit, just enough to allow her a rest from this constant battle. She pulled the strings even tighter and believed. As the lights turned off and she crossed the street to get to bed and see another day, her smile, held by strings, connected to the strings of a stranger going on their way, probably trying to someday find his own happiness and out of the dark, his strings responded to the one thing that can connect us all, and he smiled back.