The Party 4 One is a long time coming. This book and program is dedicated to you. This book holds many of the tools that lifted my confidence and brought me strength and clarity when I needed it most.
If you’ve had low self‐confidence, if you’ve felt lost, alone, unsure of your self, if you’ve been in a toxic relationship, or recently gone through a bad break‐up, this book is definitely for you!Throughout this book, you will see that I have written the words yourself, myself and themselves as “your self”, “my self” and “them selves”. This was not a mistake; there is an important reason: my goal is to place even more emphasis on your importance as a human being on this Earth. We are so used to doing whatever we can for others, and only very little to make our selves fulfilled and happy. Maybe you can start being more invested in your “self”, if you begin visualizing “you” as a separate entity that needs care, love and trust just like everybody else
I am here to offer you support and lots of love, because you just might need it right now. I know I needed something like this several times during my life.
If it weren’t for Sarena, this book would not have manifested. I am also eternally grateful for the inspiration I’ve found in Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, Les Brown, Louise Hay, Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey, Jim Carey, Nick Vujicic & Bruce Lee.
To Mom, Dad, B & I, without you as my rocks I can’t begin to imagine whom I would have become. I could not have been born into a better family.
To G, my guardian angel, who turned my world upside down so that I could find out who I am.
To you the reader: Know that you are the master of your life, and that you always have the courage, inner strength & talent to create the life you desire.
“To thine own self be true” ‐William Shakespeare
Enough with this, let’s get started!!
Please feel free to share your thoughts and feedback about the Party 4 One.
[* Jo’s Party 4 One Program- 11 Steps to inspire you to focus on loving your self, to unleash your inner confidence & re-awaken your dreams! *]
[_1. _] Are you feeling stuck, unhappy or both? Do you often feel like something big is missing from your life? Like life is too complicated, and that it should all be way more simple and fun?
2. Ever feel like you’ve been lying to your self about who you really are, and that maybe you’re living someone else’s life? That for so long you’ve been pretending to be someone you hope others will accept? Do you want to live out loud and just finally be your self?
3. Do you feel like you’re the only person on Earth who is un‐deserving of happiness & an easy, joyful life? Do you want to discover your natural confidence so that you can be closer to fulfilling your dreams?
4. Do you always feel responsible for everyone’s happiness? Do you feel guilty on a daily basis for stuff that happened in the past?
5. Ever feel like so many people are suffering or have so little, and you want to make a difference, but you’re unsure of how to get started?
6. Would you like to receive more love from the people in your life, and experience more respectful relationships?
7. Does this sound like your routine? Wake up, work, watch T.V., browse Facebook & sleep with a few meals interspersed? If so, does this freak you out? Do you have a grandiose image of the life you wish to live, yet feel overwhelmed, intimidated, shy, & hear the voice of doom suddenly jump out at you? Do you sometimes feel like saying “Fuck it!”, dropping everything and going backpacking or off the grid?
8. Does the fear of regretting unrealized goals have you on the verge of getting started, & that maybe if someone helped you through this big change, you’d feel more ready to commit?
Maybe you’ve decided to take on the Party 4 One program because:
· You’re finally ready to be honest, live a more positive, exciting & meaningful life, rather than just thinking or reading about it.
· You’ve decided you won’t feel comfortable living out the rest of your life the way you’ve been going. You have an idea of what you should do, you’re through with the quick fixes, and you need a friend to hold your hand.
· You are ready to re‐ignite your personal growth, you’re excited to experience real, lasting progress and make your unique, positive impact on the World.
· Your relationships with certain people have become unhealthy, and you feel that change starts with you! You’re ready to get the most out of all your relationships!
· You feel it’s finally time to invest time in you, ready to become the best and most loving version of your self.
· You’re totally in for waking up your soul in the most fun way possible, and for living with more purpose & adventure!
I want you to know that I have experienced all of the feelings you are having right now. Feelings like:
· Scared & anxious, overwhelmed or intimidated
· Alone or misunderstood
· Different or weird
· Scared to start over
· Like a train is coming after you to get to the finish line of personal growth now that you’ve entered this new World
· Bored & un-inspired with life
When I started on the journey of self-awareness & personal growth, being totally honest with my self & quenching my lifelong curiosities, I was living in Thailand & training for my first pro Thai kickboxing fight. Suddenly, I was listening to motivational videos every day, and training my mind to be tougher; like a machine! To believe that I would win my fight no matter what.
Let’s just say that was the most intense time of my life!
Well I did win that fight. It was so incredible! And since that moment, I have decided to continue learning everything I could about personal growth, motivation, general increased awareness, philanthropy, nutrition and best of all, how I can inspire people to chase their dreams. And the Party 4 One program, a program I’ve worked on for most of 2015, is my way of sharing all of my knowledge & experiences with you!
I will stop here! I have faith that by having shared some of my story, you will have a clearer sense of the work you are about to embark on and to:
1. Assure you that I have experienced many of the emotions and fears that you may be feeling right now.
2. Share key tools I have acquired over time that have brought me to the other side! A place of confidence and self‐trust, with the courage to overcome challenges and to fulfill big dreams!
3. Hand you new perspectives, beliefs, and tools from my toolkit that I rely on to get me through the hard days. I still go through ups and downs, times when I am vulnerable, scared shitless, where I want people to like me. However I can honestly say I know how to pull my self out of the abyss of despair and self‐hate and survive life’s tough moments. At 40 years old!!
Today, my life’s work is specific to travelling the world supporting & empowering people, & inspiring those who can’t afford help. To encourage people to be aware, to dance & live a healthy lifestyle. This is my WHY. This is what I would continue to do even if I had 20 million dollars.
I’m so excited that you’re interested in taking the leap towards living the life you secretly dream of. Did you know that it’s possible? And that it’s way more fun? I promise I will show you the way…with all my love!
Here is some of the fun and transformational work you can start looking forward to!
Your 11 Step Plan to living your blissful Party 4 one!
· Re‐discover simplicity! Be one with Nature, take a walk and be with your self! Time to figure things out!!
· Table for One? ‐ Break out your dancing shoes; You’re going on a romantic date with your hot self!
· Pay it forward! ‐ Give back, place more focus on others. Your life of bliss is fast approaching!
· Shut up & Check in! ‐ Observe from the outside, see the forest beyond the trees. Are you happy?
If you don’t feel ready to move forward, that’s completely fine. I know I can’t force you to be ready. I will just leave you to ponder this:
Imagine you’re sitting in a café with your best friend. Suddenly they say:
“Well I want to live a more fulfilling life. I feel like there’s something out there waiting for me. I know I want to feel more confident & exercise more, but I can’t right now. Maybe later on.”
Would you scream NO?? Would you tell them the time is now? Or would you say “Yes, you’re probably right. It’s important to wait until later, just to make sure you have enough money, that you’ve worked hard, that you’ve raised your kids, and bought a big house”.
What was your answer? If you got the sarcasm in my scenario, you know my plan was to inspire you to believe that you deserve your dreams in this lifetime. Period! Know this; your excuses might make you feel less accountable, but they won’t ever go away. I know that you may be feeling that this is a huge step. And it is!
Nothing we encounter in life is a mistake or coincidence. It’s clear to me that you’ve been looking into making some sort of change, and that you’ve considered seeking a friend or coach to help you move through your important life changes in an easy & fun way! That opportunity is here for you. I promise as your friend and sidekick that you have the right to enjoy your life and to actually make your dreams come true! Having lived with little confidence most of my life, I used to think I was destined to sacrifice my own happiness and that I deserved less than everyone else. If you’re feeling the same as I did, rest assured; you deserve all the happiness and confidence in the World and the keys to all that you dream of. And more! And when you decide that you’re ready, I’ll be here to cheer you on!
If you’ve decided to move ahead with your Party 4 One, amazing!! You are well on your way to living your life with more bliss! The Party 4 One is a wild ride, it’s tons of fun, a time to spoil your self and to find more bliss and self‐confidence. This time will bring up many different emotions for you, and it’s all good! As your sidekick, I want you to reap all the possible benefits. And so for the next 11 weeks, (or longer if you need it ;‐) you have my undivided attention, love and compassion.
Table for One? – Break out your dancing shoes; You’re going on a romantic date with your hot self!
Do you feel busy and anxious a lot of the time? Do you always find your self eating your meals in front of the T.V. or the computer? Are you browsing Facebook or emails while eating your grilled chicken wrap? Do you usually think about everything you have to do during the week or talk on the phone while eating?
It’s highly likely you have no idea how your food tastes. You order or prepare your favourite sandwich or fish taco, but you aren’t even savouring it! The only time you get a small sensation of pleasure from your meal is when the taste hits your taste buds…if you’re paying attention that is!
Now are you someone who feels uneasy at the notion of dining by your self? Do you feel naked when eating alone in a restaurant, thinking that you look strange or that you should have a book or a friend with you? It’s totally normal to feel like a fish out of water if you’re used to dining with friends, family or your partner. And it is so much fun going out with friends or family. But, there is a “but”! During week 2, and during this whole program, you are shifting the focus 360 degrees on you! This week, you can face your fears a bit by doing something new, fun and delicious!!
By focusing on your self, who you are, what you love, observing your self and what you fear, you’ll find that being alone with you will seem easier and way more fun! Soon enough, you will feel more in control. Dining alone is a magical experience. It opens up your senses, and places the focus on you. Dining alone is you taking care of you. You will be the Star of the evening!
At 35 years old, after the chaos of a disastrous break‐up and after finally getting back to who I was, I booked my self an 11‐day vacation to Italy. I was mesmerized and enthralled with the atmosphere and change of scenery. Before this trip, I found it difficult to dine alone without having a book or someone to shield me from my self‐consciousness. But as I started travelling, my ability to revel in a dining experience was born and I was on fire! I decided that during my 11‐day Italian escapade, I would spoil my self by ordering a glass of Prosecco at every lunch. It was my way of adding a celebratory element to my meal. I was saying “I deserve to be celebrated and to enjoy this time with my self!”
Eating is the most important life pleasure after sex and compassion.
This week it’s time to re‐discover the orgasmic, savoury, delicious feelings that go hand in hand with dining out with your self. So, this week, you are taking your self out on a date!!
If you are nervous about dining alone, I completely understand. You may be thinking, people will be staring at me thinking “Oh, she’s a loser to be eating by her self”. Well, first of all, know that we all care about what people think to different degrees. But by choosing to go anyways, you are taking control!! And please know that usually when we try to do nice things for our selves, when we start asking for more out of life, our conscious mind starts sending us the negative & defeating inner talk to keep us down, and to make us give up on our desire to treat our selves better. But know with 100% certainty that you can parry (fend off, ward off) all this negative talk; this brainwashed idea you may have that you are power‐less, weak and un-worthy.
“You are so much stronger than you think!!!”
This is your life we’re talking about and you deserve this night of bliss and enchantment!! I also have a strong feeling you will totally enjoy this very important time in your own company!!
So!! Here are your to do’s for your date with your self!!
1. Plan your perfect evening this week by choosing the day, and speak to your family or partner and explain that you are going out for the evening. Tell them a few days before so as not to spring any surprises on them. You are taking part in a new program, a plan to re‐awaken & unleash your power, your self‐love and your dreams. Plans take time, and they take patience. The more you plan things out patiently and calmly, the more your Party 4 One will be a long-term plan.
Now it’s possible that some of your loved ones may not understand what you’re going through; this big, exciting change in your life! You might get criticism, or complaints that you are selfish…What’s important to know is this. If you think that your family won’t understand, then maybe don’t tell them why you’re going. You aren’t lying, you’re just avoiding lots of questions and looks that might make you second guess your plan. While on your Party 4 One vacation, you require support, understanding & patience.
2. Choose a new restaurant to dine in. We’re talking new adventures, new atmosphere here! Think of one or two restaurants you’ve been dying to try! Choose the restaurant that fits your budget. Now head over to Trip Advisor and start a search for the restaurants you’ve listed. Which one has better reviews and a nicer dining room? Browse the menus. Is your favourite octopus or roasted pepper appetizer on the list? Is it an Italian place that has the best homemade tiramisu? A sushi bar with fun cocktails or a Spanish tapas place? Can I come with you? Ok, sorry
What’s important is that you choose a place with a pretty table setting where you can actually sit back, let go & dine out! We’re not going for a pita falafel or fast food counter.
· Hostess greeting you at the door
· Maybe a candle or fresh rose in the middle of your table for 1!
· A cloth napkin folded beautifully on your bread plate
· A water glass and wine goblet to the right of your knife.
Also, avoid places that are known to become too rowdy. You should have time to be calm. To enjoy the sounds of plates & cutlery, maybe some clients at the next table engaging in enticing conversation, or even the light atmospheric sounds of Jazz or dinner music in the background.
On this night, you are showing your self that you are royalty. A Star! Pretend you are on vacation and it’s your first night in this new city. The world is your oyster!!
So now, you’ve read the reviews and chosen the perfect restaurant. Call and reserve your table. Even if it’s a Tuesday. I recommend that you still make a reservation. Scream it out that this is your special night! Ask if they have a terrasse, and if you can be seated there.
Now for the really fun stuff!
3. Choose your outfit. This is your Party 4 One!! Pick an outfit that you haven’t worn in a long time, a new shirt you bought last month & haven’t worn yet. Pick something fun, glitzy & shiny that makes you feel ultra sexy! Peruse your jewellery box and pick out the perfect ring, necklace or bracelet to pair with your sexy outfit. Every part of this step should be fun! Let go of feeling ashamed that you’re caring for your self, & revel in this experience! You deserve the best and you’re making it happen!
One thing I always like to tell people is to picture them selves in their friends’ shoes, and imagine what you would say to them. Wouldn’t you tell them to go out and spoil them selves? To re‐discover their passion and have fun? That life is too short and that it’s better to make mistakes along the way in life. That your life is a one time gig, making it mandatory to squeeze out the most fun possible?
I hope you would! Well, imagine you are your friend! So say “Yes!! I deserve the best! I am a Star!!”.
4. Now, start imagining that the night has come for your date and that you’re trying on different outfits, you’re driving or cabbing it to the restaurant, you feel like a tourist on a much needed vacation. Start getting excited about your date. We always need something to look forward to!
O.K.! Tonight’s the night!! Drumrolls please!!
5. You’re at work or on your way to school, you’re sending emails and dreaming about your date tonight. When was the last time you went on a date?? Where you had butterflies in your stomach? Well, the best part of this date is that you’ll be with your self, so you can be totally free and let it all hang out!! No judgements tonight, this is you we’re talking about!! Look at all the decisions and plans you’ve successfully made towards creating this night! You are doing fantastic and I am right there with you!
Have you planned out your transportation? It’s still early, so if you plan to have a few glasses of wine, some Port or Limoncello after dinner, better to call a cab to take the worry out of driving. Even if you’re not drinking, you want to spoil your self to the max!!
6. It’s 6pm: time to take your shower and start getting ready. Do not rush this time!!
I would like you to prepare your self a drink, whatever your favourite evening drink is. It can be a soothing tea, a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, an artisanal beer, or an apple juice with some raspberries at the bottom. Bring your cocktail into the bathroom with you and take a sip. Savour the cool or warm beverage swishing around your mouth and trickling down your throat. Doesn’t it feel spectacular to enjoy something as simple as a drink?
You are in celebration mode!
Into candles or incense? How about lighting some candles or burning some vanilla incense to give the bathroom a warm & cozy scent? If u have an Ipod & speakers or your phone, find a Brazilian Samba Bossa Nova playlist or some Jazz, some Michael Buble or Elton John and let this captivating & soothing music add more party to the atmosphere!
Let’s get you breathing, eating & dreaming Party 4 One!!
When you get into the shower, smell your shampoo as you pour it into your hand. Lather it into your hair ever so gently & give your head a slow massage. Press your fingers into your neck and slowly rub away the stress of the day. Roll your head around in a few circles. Do you need to shave? Massage your soap or shaving cream into your body. Stretch a bit in the shower while the warm water washes over you and warms up your muscles.
Take the utmost care in cleansing your self. Tonight is a special night and special nights always fly by so quickly, hence the importance of prolonging this ecstasy!
Nice! Are you starting to feel drunk with pleasure? Amazing stuff!!
After your shower, make sure to slowly put on your favourite scented body cream or body butter. Dab some drops of perfume or cologne onto your neck and wrists. Smell your skin. Check your self out in the mirror. You’re not conceited, but notice how you feel some confidence sinking in. It’s hard to feel crappy when taking the utmost care of your self.
Feeling good? Take another sip of your Happy Hour cocktail and take it on into the bedroom. It’s time to slip on your sexy outfit. Add your jewellery, make‐up, place your perfect matching shoes on your feet and get a glance in the mirror. You are a light Being in this world. The Universe wants you to get what you want. Tonight, what you want is to feel sexy, amazing, and fall in love with your self again!
The point of tonight is to re‐condition you to put time and care into loving your self. Think of it as a makeover. You don’t have to wait for Oprah to call you to give your self the loving treatment and makeover you deserve. You can create it anytime you want by saying YES!! Tonight is my night!
7. Decked out and ready to partaeeee!!
Your chariot has pulled up or you’ve started your car. You’re in the middle of your fabulous date! Have a chat with your cab driver! Think outside the box and pretend (it’s ok to pretend here) that you’re a tourist, on your way to a restaurant that was recommended in a Lonely Planet guidebook!
8. You’ve arrived at the restaurant & you’re escorted to your table. The waiter asks you if it’s a “table 4 one?”. Avoid feeling lonely or sorry for your self. Smile and say “Yes!”. You are super brave for coming out for dinner and enjoying time on your own. Tonight all impressions & sensations are yours alone. Kudos to you!
9. You’ve read the drink menu and made your choice. You’re now sipping your cocktail and checking out the clientele & atmosphere. How do you feel? If you’re feeling a bit weird & insecure, that’s completely fine. Just focus on your table, the paintings on the wall, the bustle of the waiters, the different plates going to the tables beside you. Check out what the other patrons have ordered while you contemplate your decision.
Dining with your self without a computer or cell phone plopped down in front of you as a shield can feel weird the first time. You have no armour. This experience will teach you that you do not need any electronics or company to be special. You are totally self‐sufficient and you’ve taken the huge leap of speaking to the waiters and maybe asking them how long they’ve been working there, or what they would recommend from the menu.
Tonight it’s just you, a candle, some lovely food and a fully delicious experience!
While eating your meal, it’s no surprise I would ask you to savour every bite, and to slowly drink from your glass.
Think back to your dream list, the list you composed last week. It’s bound to creep into your head while you’re out tonight showing your self the love and care you deserve. What comes to mind? Does this whole dream life seem attainable? Maybe you could get used to this concept of self‐love and living life on your terms!
You bet you can!!
The last thing I want you to observe while you’re out on the town all dressed up in this dark, romantic restaurant, is not to hit on the waiter, lol. No. I want you to observe the waiters and host or hostess, watch the plates circulating in & out of the kitchen. Observe the waiters approach other clients to pour a bottle of wine or describe the specials. Watch them bring the bill to someone’s table, then maybe an after‐dinner drink. Watch the diners thank the waiters. Can you feel an appreciation for the staff working tonight? For automatically being here in this moment to participate in this delicious experience with you?
Appreciate their hard work, their smile, the way they brought you whatever you ask. Just as you wish to experience love and appreciation for what you do, so you must give back the same to the people that participate in your dreams & your special celebrations! Tonight is your celebration, but many people are unknowingly playing a part in your romantic date with your self. It’s so important to notice them, thank them and appreciate them.
10. On your way home, you’re probably thinking about how you want to keep up this self‐love marathon! You must be on cloud nine! Maybe it’s been a crazy long time since you spoiled your self. Well, it’s mandatory that you keep it up. Now that you know what pleasure & bliss feels like, why not continue on this journey of self‐love & blow your mind adventure? Hell, this could last a lifetime!!!
For the next 6 days, I want you to imagine you’re on a retreat in Hawaii. You have paid $4,000 to come to this retreat for 6 days. Upon arriving, you were automatically entered into a contest. The contest is based on which guest at this retreat can spoil them selves the most and finish at the end of the 6 days having committed to continuing this tradition of daily self care, no matter what life throws at them!
If I said that winning this contest would grant you $5,000, what would you do? Would you commit to prioritizing your needs everyday? To writing your dreams down on paper? To strengthening your mental state with physical training and super healthy eating because you’re a superhero? And because by feeding your body with positivity and good things, you arouse your desires for self‐care, self‐confidence & readiness for adventure??
Will you commit? Ask your self this question and answer honestly. You have paid for the Party 4 One. You know you can do this because you’ve already taken the most important step. You’ve said Yes! From here on out, I want you to stay fully committed to each of the remaining steps and I promise that you will never be the same again.
Be all heart. It’s in you. Just unleash it and push forth full steam ahead!
The Party 4 One is a long time coming. This book and program is dedicated to you. This book holds many of the tools that lifted my confidence and brought me strength and clarity when I needed it most. If you’ve had low self‐confidence, if you’ve felt lost, alone, unsure of your self, if you’ve been in a toxic relationship, or recently gone through a bad break‐up, this book is definitely for you! Throughout this book, you will see that I have written the words yourself, myself and themselves as “your self”, “my self” and “them selves”. This was not a mistake; there is an important reason: my goal is to place even more emphasis on your importance as a human being on this Earth. We are so used to doing whatever we can for others, and only very little to make our selves fulfilled and happy. Maybe you can start being more invested in your “self”, if you begin visualizing “you” as a separate entity that needs care, love and trust just like everybody else. I am here to offer you support and lots of love, because you just might need it right now. I know I needed something like this several times during my life.