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Relationship Advice for Women: Why Men Lose Interest and How to Be the ONLY Woma

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction 2

Chapter 1: What Makes Him Interested 4

Chapter 2: The Phases of a Relationship 7

Chapter 3: Where It Can (and Will) Go Wrong 11

Chapter 4: How to Be the Woman Who Gets Him 15

Chapter 5: How to Maintain Interest Forever 21

 

 

 

[]Introduction

 

We’ve all been there.

 

You meet a guy, and sparks fly. You start dating and things are going great  really hot and heavy.

 

But then, he starts drifting away.

 

Maybe he doesn’t pick up right away when you call. Or he doesn’t respond to your playful texts anymore. And the worst is when you assume you’ll be seeing him this weekend, and then suddenly he has plans  and he’s vague about them.

 

Before you know it, you’re getting a “Maybe I’ll see you around.” And we all know what that means.

 

Or, how about this: You’ve been in a relationship for a while, and you’ve gotten to a comfortable point. You’re starting to think long-term.

 

But he’s got other ideas. Your regular dates aren’t so regular. He starts to make hanging out with the guys more of a priority. Then one day you are wondering if maybe the relationship wasn’t as serious as you thought.

 

As previously stated, we’ve all been there, and it’s the worst!

 

No matter what stage of dating we’re in, it seems like there’s always the same cycle: He’s into you, things are good and then things aren’t so good.

 

It’s not that you’re fighting or that he’s outright being mean, necessarily. You just get the sense that he’s no longer interested in you. He has stopped pursuing you. In your more bitter moments, his behavior makes you feel like you’ve been played. He got what he wanted, and now he wants to move on.

 

What happened? And more importantly, how can we stop it from happening again?

 

If these are questions you’ve been wrestling with, then you’ve come to the right place. This book discusses why men lose interest and how you can be the only woman in his life who truly understands him.

 

First, the book explains what initially makes men interested in a woman. After all, if you don’t know what drives them, you can’t be the driver!

 

Next, you’ll learn all the phases of a relationship, so you can see where you are and where the pitfalls might lie. Once you’ve identified your potential issues, then you can fix them or avoid them altogether!

 

Chapter three focuses on you. It may sound harsh, but we have to explore if maybe there are some things you might be doing that may be contributing to his fading interest.

 

But then comes the good stuff  how to be the woman who gets him, survive the pitfalls mentioned earlier and have the best relationship ever!

 

Finally, you’ll receive some solid advice on how to maintain his interest as your relationship progresses. That way, you can keep the love going!

 

Speaking of long-term, here’s a word to the married ladies out there  this book is about you, too.

 

Just because the book begins discussing early dating phases doesn’t mean you can’t apply the advice to your own life.

 

As you read, think back to when you were dating. Your husband gave you all the clues you need to revive his interest.

 

Your job is to remember them and put these tips into action now. You can rekindle interest and, for goodness sake, it should be easier for you than anyone to let him know that you’re the one who understands him!

 

So, what do you say? Are you ready to get the guy  and keep him interested? And more importantly, are you ready to show him that you “get” him?

 

Then get reading!

 

 

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[] Chapter 1: What Makes Him Interested

 

For a guy to lose interest in a woman, he has to have been interested in the first place, right? So, first identify what a man finds interesting about a woman he’s set his sights on.

 

Men love beautiful women. Of course, the definition of beauty is going to change depending on the guy. Where one man might stop dead in his tracks for a leggy blonde in yoga pants, another would pass her by in a second on his way to chat up a curvy brunette in a sundress.

 

Because there’s no accounting for physical looks when it comes to a man’s initial interest, this should be discounted right off the bat. This will be discussed in greater detail later, but for now, it’s suffice to say that if he’s talking to you, he thinks you’re pretty.

 

But as he gets to know you, he puts you into one of two categories.

 

The first category, for lack of a better phrase, is the one-night stand. He’s interested in getting you into bed, plain and simple.

 

He’s surely having a decent time talking to you, and he’s not being a jerk to you. In fact, at this extremely early stage, it has very little to do with you. But there is something about the chemistry the two of you have that makes him not be able to think past, what for right now, is his primary goal.

 

It’s pretty safe to say that, even just for a moment, all women that men find attractive start off in this first category. That’s just the cold, hard truth.

 

Depending on what you want from him, this first category might be fine for you. It might be your goal, too.

 

But, you can’t stay in this category and expect a long-term relationship from him. It’s just not going to happen.

 

If you want to keep his interest, you have to make sure he moves you into the second category, which is the girlfriend category.

 

This is where he still wants to get you into bed  a guy is always thrilled by that prospect and that won’t ever change  but there is something about you that intrigues him, interests him and he can see you being a part of his life, if even for a little while.

 

It’s a split-second decision that a guy makes based on whatever insanely complex man-math he’s doing in his head. To find out how to nudge that math along and move from one category to the second… well, you’ll find out more about that in Chapter 4.

 

But in terms of what makes a man interested in a woman, there are a few common things that, when consistent over time, hold a man’s interest.

 

 

Intelligence

 

Although you don’t have to be a Rhodes Scholar or know the finer points of a ground rule double, it does help hold his interest if he can talk to you without explaining every little detail.

 

You should know what’s going on in the world, have an opinion on it and be able to defend your opinion with something more than “because I said so.” You know how men love a challenge? A smart woman is a delicious challenge to a man.

 

[
Humor]

 

Everyone always talks about how women fall for funny men, but men’s preference for women who can make them laugh seems to be a well-kept secret.

 

It’s time to retire that petulant eye-roll you learned in junior high every time a boy cracked a joke, and learn to laugh again. Have a sense of humor about yourself and about the world around you.

 

Don’t be afraid to make him laugh, too. It’s a powerful aphrodisiac.

 

[
Kindness]

 

This is a surprising thing that men are interested in when it comes to women. After all, it seems like a given, but apparently, there are a lot of crabby women out there, which men do not appreciate.

 

A woman’s unkindness tends to come out when she’s talking about other people  especially other women and exes. Keep your negative opinions to yourself. Always have a kind word for people. Be nice to wait staff, and if someone else is being mean, call him or her out on it politely.

 

Also, there are some people, both men and women, who use complaining as a way to make conversation. If the line is slow, or if the weather sucks or if you’ve been waiting on hold forever, don’t mention it just to have something to say.

 

[
Independence]

 

Men don’t want a wilting flower who needs to be saved every five minutes; they want a woman who knows what she wants and is ready, willing and able to get it for herself.

 

What does that mean for you? You don’t have to steamroll everyone out of your way. Nobody likes someone who’s only out for number one.

 

Also, men like to feel like they’re taking care of a woman when they’re in a relationship, so you don’t want to appear that you don’t need him at all.

 

Think about it  would you want to be around someone who constantly shows and tells you that they don’t need you?

 

But if you’re always having adventures, taking care of business and generally being awesome all on your own, then that’s someone he’s going to want to be around!

 

If every once in a while you let him know that you could use his help solving a problem, he’ll be all the more willing to roll up his sleeves and do what he can for you.

 

[
Grooming]

 

As stated above, there is no set definition of what beauty is; it varies from man to man. But, there are several ways that women can spark and hold a man’s interest when it comes to appearances.

 

First, there is grooming. Are you always put together, or do you tend to live in sweats when not specifically dressed for an occasion?

 

Do you like to spray on a bit of perfume before leaving the house? One of the top thing men say that they love about women is that they smell good. It takes next to nothing to do this, so why not?

 

Are you in shape? You don’t have to be a supermodel; we all have different body types. But it’s important to look healthy.

 

Although no man should love you only for your looks, men are biologically wired to be more attracted to a woman who is healthy, happy and looking her best.

[] Chapter 2: The Phases of a Relationship

 

This chapter explains the various stages of a typical relationship and how a man’s interest changes over time.

 

This is important because keeping a man’s interest isn’t just something that happens while you’re waiting for him to ask you on a date. If you’re serious about a long-term relationship, you have to make sure he stays interested even when things are moving along smoothly.

 

Whoever said a relationship is work was right! So, let’s take a look at the life of a romantic relationship.

 

[
Phase 1: The Game]

 

When you’re playing the game, you’re checking out each other’s moves and seeing if you’d be a good fit. For the most part, this first phase is instinct.

 

A man’s interest at this point doesn’t really extend beyond learning your name, realizing you can speak intelligently and in full sentences, and making sure you’re not a psycho. So, as long as you don’t get blackout drunk and make-out with five guys in front of him, you’re pretty likely to hold his interest in this phase.

 

[
Phase 2: The First Dates]

 

This, too, is a relatively easy phase, but there are still many opportunities for missteps.

 

A man’s interest will wane if:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. You expect to be treated like Cinderella at the ball on every date.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. You can’t stop talking about your ex/work/people he doesn’t know.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. You make it all about you.

 

Basically, mind your P’s and Q’s and make sure to get to know him, LISTEN to him and be upbeat and positive. And relax! It’s not a test. It’s a fun time out with a guy who’s attracted to you.

 

The other major factor that determines a man’s interest level during the first couple of dates is sex. When it comes to sex, a man’s interest level is determined on a case-by-case basis.

 

This means that there is no hard-and-fast rule to sex early on in the life of your relationship. Sometimes you’ll meet a guy and it’s like the two of you can’t find a bed fast enough. Other times, there is a build-up, and the sex part comes later when the relationship moves into a more serious phase.

 

What’s important to note here is that you should ONLY go as far as is comfortable for you. If you’re not ready to have sex and he loses interest in you based on that, then good riddance. He’s clearly not ready for a long-term relationship.

 

The pitfalls of this phase will be discussed in greater detail in the next chapter.

 

[
Phase 3: The Honeymoon]

 

You’re past the awkwardness of the first couple of dates, and you’re in the full swing of dating. This is when you start building a history together, so there are a lot of private jokes. You build an emotional comfort combined with a sense of adventure as you do new things together, and this is where most couples start having sex. So you’re finding out that you’re compatible in many different ways!

 

A man’s interest level is going to be high at this phase, but he is still trying to figure out how you fit into his life. (You should be doing this, too, by the way!)

 

His interest is going to dwindle during this phase if you try to figure that out for him, meaning you start making a lot of demands on his time. You’re not at that point yet.

 

[
Phase 4: The Comfort Zone]

 

Other than the first phase, during which a guy still has time to just completely bail on the possibility of being with you in the first place, this is the trickiest phase and the one where it’s most likely to fall apart.

 

In the Comfort Zone, he may lose interest if:

 

#
p<>{color:#000;}. You get into a dating rut  maybe you have a standing date on a certain night of the week, or maybe your “dates” have devolved into watching TV and playing on your Smartphones.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. The chase is over  some guys are A+ boyfriends until they're 100 percent sure they “have you,” and then they get bored.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. Sex has developed into a routine. This isn’t a major factor, but when combined with the Comfort Zone, it can make him lose interest.

 

There’s also quite a lot women do during this phase that doesn’t help, but that will be covered in the next chapter.

 

[
Phase 5: The Commitment]

 

The Commitment phase is when you both decide to be exclusive. You start attending events as a couple, friends invite you to nights out as a couple and pretty much everyone sees you as two halves of a whole. It’s going to take something major to facilitate a breakup.

 

However, while it’s easier to stay together, that doesn’t mean that he necessarily is going to stay interested as easily. Although our actions may make him lose interest, it’s more because he has become way too comfortable now that the pressure’s off.

 

For this phase, the pressure isn’t necessarily on you, but it also means that you may need to work a bit harder to make sure he’s still feeling the love.

 

After these phases follow the more serious steps like moving in together and/or getting married. Those phases are explained better in Chapter 5.

 

 

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Inside this FREE ebook you’ll discover:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. The 7 things you need to do to make him fall in love with you.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. How to avoid those mixed signals which kill relationships early on.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. The KEY to his adoration that you absolutely MUST do right.

 

 

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[] Chapter 3: Where It Can (and Will) Go Wrong

 

Now that you know the phases of a relationship in terms of when a man most commonly loses interest, it’s time to turn that gaze inward. Are we responsible for making him lose interest when instead he could be crazy in love?

 

[
Phase 1: The Game]

 

As explained in the last chapter, this is the very beginning when you’re just getting to know each other. It could last for an hour, or a month  however long it takes until you start going on dates.

 

At this point, there’s not a lot you can do to sabotage his efforts, but there are a few:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Making overtly sexual references

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Getting sloppy drunk

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Making out with girlfriends

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p<>{color:#000;}. Being mean (but thinking you’re playing hard to get)

 

If a guy is talking to you, it’s because he’s interested in you. You’re already starting out at an advantage. You just have to not mess it up.

 

Remember, he’s doing his man-math and deciding into which category you will be placed. If you’re into him and want a relationship, make sure you go into the girlfriend category!

 

By all means, be the life of the party; just make sure it doesn’t involve embarrassing photos on Facebook the next day!

 

[
Phase 2: The First Dates]

 

Your first dates are when you really have the opportunity to pique his interest. First, you want to make a good visual impression. Although this doesn’t mean you should be dressing to the nines all the time, it does mean that every time he sees you, he should be given an immediate reminder of why he asked you out in the first place.

 

How you do this depends on your best attributes and your personal style, but always, always remember to be comfortable. No man is going to be interested in seeing you futz with your outfit all night or carry around those heels that are just too tall.

 

DO NOT keep checking your phone! Many people tend to do this out of nervousness or to fill a void in the conversation, but it’s the worst.

 

Plus, you don’t want to give him a chance to check his, either!

 

Keep eye contact, and keep the conversation interesting enough that he doesn’t even think about looking at his phone.

 

Another thing that so many of us do on dates is be quick to judge. Remember, kindness is one of the top attributes that interest a man.

 

Although it can be frustrating when forces out of your control make a date not go as planned, it’s no reason to get upset. Be nice, laugh it off and stay positive. Versatility hits all of his interest buttons.

 

Think of it this way: If you freak out because they didn’t put the dressing on the side, he’s not going to be interested to see how you handle a real problem down the line.

 

And finally there’s sex.

 

When you decide to have sex is totally and completely up to you. There’s no rule for it, regardless of what the magazines try to tell you.

 

But what you should absolutely MUST NOT DO is hop into bed with him ONLY BECAUSE you think it will keep his interest.

 

In far too many cases, this is exactly the point where a guy loses interest in you  at least as a girlfriend.

 

Sometimes the chemistry can be so strong that you get it on way before you usually do. But for the most part, especially when a guy is looking for a girlfriend, he’s not going to be trying so hard to get in your pants while he’s getting to know you.

 

But, that’s doesn’t mean he’s going to turn you down, either.

 

So it’s up to you. It’s time whenever you feel comfortable. But at this phase, don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that it means he is interested in you as a girlfriend.

 

[
Phase 3: The Honeymoon]

 

The Honeymoon phase is most commonly when couples start to have sex. Because they’ve gotten to know each other beforehand, it comes as a much greater reward, and interest levels increase on both sides.

 

However, it’s also where women can really make it all go wrong, and then not only does he lose interest but practically goes running out the door!

 

The single most common mistake is leaping into full-on committed-relationship mode.

 

This is so, so wrong, ladies, and so, so easy to do because we’re so happy!

So we text him silly messages (all dang day).

 

We pout when we can’t see him every night (not as cute as we think).

 

We introduce him to everybody whose opinion matters to us (awkward).

 

We go in heavy with the public displays of affection (too much!).

 

Although you’re both flying high on that love potion, he doesn’t see these things as cute. He sees them as ways we’re trying to “claim” him.

 

Simply put, we move too fast in the honeymoon phase, and he becomes actively disinterested in us.

 

So, what we need to do is take it slow:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Limit the number of times you see him each week.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Make sure you’re going out, not just hopping into bed.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Calls and texts are for making plans; use them sparingly otherwise.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Gush to a couple of close friends, but don’t make the big debut yet.

 

[
Phase 4: The Comfort Zone]

 

Once you’ve been dating a while, you move into the Comfort Zone. Mistakes common in this phase include:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Whereas before nights in were spent romping, now it’s pizza and TV.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. You think nothing of greeting him at the door in sweats and a tee.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. There’s an assumption that he’s going to spend the night.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. When you go out to your regular place, it’s because you don’t have the energy to think of someplace new.

 

This stage is not all doldrums; it’s called The Comfort Zone for a reason.

 

It’s just that while you’re not an official long-term couple yet, you no longer live in fear that he’s going to vanish at any moment. You’re both confident where the relationship is heading, and so you start to relax a bit.

 

This is a hugely critical time. The best way to avoid a loss of interest in this phase is not to let the routine begin. If you’re not in a rut, there’s no need to dig yourself out of one!

 

So, make sure you’re still looking cute as a button when he comes to call. Make sure you’re still going out and about, and mix it up a bit. It doesn’t have to be all insanely glamorous evenings on the town, but even a nice walk or a date at a time you don’t usually meet up is enough to keep it interesting.

 

 

 

 

 

Phase 5: The Commitment

 

The challenge to keeping his interest in The Commitment phase is a unique one. For women, staying interested isn’t usually a problem. Once we have our guy, it’s our natural instinct to be interested in him, in every aspect.

 

It’s usually the guy who gets less interested because his work is done, so to speak; he can truly relax into the relationship. Unfortunately, that means he can get bored fairly quickly.

 

As part of a couple, we start behaving like one  sometimes, too much.

 

We make all the plans. We remind him of important things like appointments and events. We take care of everything.

 

So he just goes along for the ride, until suddenly one day he is bored out of his mind and realizes his life as a couple bears little to no resemblance to his “former” life.

 

It isn’t that either one of you is actively sabotaging the relationship; it’s simply that you both assume roles that are not sustainable over time, and the interest plummets.

 

What you can do is keep the activities as similar as possible to those in the beginning of your relationship, while still advancing the emotional part of the relationship along:

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p<>{color:#000;}. Make sure that you both spend time apart. In fact, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Travel together, even if it’s just for a weekend getaway. Taking yourselves out of your environment is a way to help him see you in a new way.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Don’t assume he’s going to accept every “couple” invitation; give him the choice.

 

As long as you keep things fresh and new and don’t let him settle into a routine, he’ll stay interested during The Commitment phase.

 

Now that you know how to avoid the common pitfalls, read on to learn some proactive things you can do to make him realize you’re the only woman who truly “gets” him!

 

Before reading on, check out the FREE video below and discover How to Talk to Men in such a way that he LOVES talking to you, opening up to you and so that he sees you as a truly desirable catch that he loves forever!

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[] Chapter 4: How to Be the Woman Who Gets Him

 

For some, trying to “get” our man can be a downright mystery, and even for the most relationship-savvy among us, it still can be a challenge.

 

But at every step of the way, your man is giving you pretty obvious clues as to what he wants. He just doesn’t know he’s doing it.

 

You simply have to learn how to listen for them, and then act on them. He’ll think you’re a freaking mind reader and a genius, and he’ll definitely stay interested, if only to see what you think of next!

 

To break it down, consider it in terms of the dating phases:

 

[
Phase 1: The Game]

 

The worst kept dating secret is that during The Game phase, men have no game. They are terrified, excited, nervous and more often than not, you can see through their shenanigans a mile away.

 

Sound unbelievable? You can probably tell me at least five horrendous opening lines a man has laid on you or a friend, without even thinking.

 

The difference between those guys and the cooler guys is that the cooler guys have learned to keep that unattractive side buried deep within them.

 

The reason we don’t see their terrified, nervous excitement is because we too are busy being terrified, nervous and excited.

 

Therefore, the first way you can show him you “get” him is to understand this simple fact, and counteract it.

 

Basically, you want to help him relax and assure him he’s doing fine (without actually coming out and saying so, of course!).

 

This accomplishes two things:

 

#
p<>{color:#000;}. He’ll subconsciously view you as someone who sees past the B.S. to what’s inside of him.

#
p<>{color:#000;}. By being relaxed, he’ll be able to concentrate on how awesome you are.

 

The best way to do this is with humor.

 

For example, say you’re at a party, standing in a group, but it’s clear he’s focusing on you. He’s looking at you often and he’s trying to include you in the conversation.

 

Eventually you want it to be just the two of you, so you say things like:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. “Want to go get some fresh air?”

*
p<>{color:#000;}. “Whew, that’s better, isn’t it? Now we can talk like grown-ups. Just kidding.”

*
p<>{color:#000;}. “You’re adorable; I’m so glad we have this chance to chat.”

 

Or, let’s say you two know each other in passing, have seen or spoken to each other several times and now it’s getting to a critical point. More likely than not, he wants to talk to you, but he can’t figure out how. Help him out  it’s the first step to you getting him.

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. “We must stop meeting like this, or at least let’s make it a regular habit.”

*
p<>{color:#000;}. “If you’re planning to keep going the same places I am, at least you could offer to carpool.”

*
p<>{color:#000;}. “We keep passing in the halls, and now it’s getting ridiculous. I can’t wait until we have a real conversation!”

 

You can keep it light and fun, and be as brash as you want. You just want to let him know that he’s doing fine, and you’re into him too. Once you see his shoulders relax from around his ears, you can have a much easier conversation, and he can concentrate on being interested in you.

 

[
Phase 2: The First Dates]

 

At no point in your relationship is listening more crucial than during your first dates. However, like the phase above, the two of you are so busy trying to make an impression that it’s a wonder you even remember those dates at all.

 

Like The Game phase, part of your strategy is still going to involve getting him to relax. To do that, you should put the focus on him. He’ll be much more comfortable talking about himself than trying to come up with something to say to you.

 

That may sound weird, but women tend to be better conversationalists than men. Use it to your advantage!

 

This also accomplishes your most crucial task during this phase: Listening. He’ll let you know what is of value and will be important to remember for later in the relationship:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Has he had a Friday night poker game with his friends for five years? When you let him know down the line that you know how important it is and you’d never mess with it, he’ll know you get him.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Is he talking about how hard he’s working on getting a promotion at work? Then you’ll know to tread lightly when he’s pulling all-nighters in the office and not harp on him about not spending time with you. He’ll know you get him.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Did he tell a story about how much he loved it when he was little and his mom made him a certain cake for his birthday? Find the recipe and surprise him next year; he won’t believe how much you get him.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Does he have a friend who lives far away and he really misses him/her? Next time the friend is in town, tell him you’ll see him next week because you know he’ll want to spend time with his friend. He’ll know you get him.

 

All those little things add up to a consistent cool-girlfriend vibe and benefit you down the line, when the stakes are higher.

 

As for right now, though, in this early dating stage, just play it cool and go with the flow.

 

Really, all it takes to keep him interested right now is to not be a crazy person. You’re just doing your homework and learning how to “get” him, so you can keep him!

 

[
Phase 3: The Honeymoon]

 

For The Honeymoon phase, the most important way to show him that you get him is two-fold:

 

First, there’s the sex. You want to let him know you enjoy it!

 

But more importantly, you want to strike a balance between enjoying it and enjoying it for what it is, which is sex. In other words, you don’t want to make him feel like you’re expecting a ring on your finger because you had a roll in the sack.

 

On the other hand, if you do expect a ring on your finger because you had sex (that’s your decision), then you shouldn’t be having sex with him at this point. Stay true to yourself.

 

The thing is men enjoy sex more or less independently of emotion. The cliché that men only want women for sex is completely untrue. What is true, however, is that men enjoy sex in a different way than we do.

 

Do they get emotional? Of course they do. Do they feel something deeper when the sex is with someone they love? You betcha.

 

But while we get excited at the thought of having sex with him, he is just freaking ecstatic at the fact that anyone wants to have sex with him. The fact that it’s you is just icing on the cake.

 

The second part of this… well, it also has to do with sex, more or less.

 

As part of that balancing act you’re doing between enjoying it and enjoying it for what it is, you’re going to have to actually balance the sex with other activities. You can’t go from being out on dates to just spending all your time in the bedroom because it makes him (and you) happy.

 

This is how you bring his emotional side along. He’ll see you less as “this is the girl who wants to have sex with me!” and as the person he spent several hours with beforehand getting to know, and liking and seeing how much you understand him.

 

That’s going to make him feel much more connected to you, which is going to very much keep his interest.

 

[
Phase 4: The Comfort Zone]

 

As the glow wears off, it’s more important than ever to keep his interest by making sure he knows you get him better than anyone else.

 

This is the point in the relationship when there is a risk of getting into a rut, which is the death knell for any relationship, especially one that is not fully committed yet.

 

So, it is during this time that you want to revert back to all that stuff you’ve learned about him while dating.

 

The whole strategy during this phase is never to get in a rut in the first place. So, the first thing you’re going to do is keep things lively.

 

You want to give the two of you some room to breathe. During The Honeymoon phase, when it seems like you can’t get enough of each other, it can be all too easy to spend absurd amounts of time together.

 

Be careful not to let that be the norm. Once the newness of sex wears off, it can become just spending absurd amounts of time together.

 

Go back to spending normal amounts of time together, but make sure they’re packed with fun and not just “Hey, it’s your turn to buy pizza.”

 

For example, take him out on a date  doing something he wants to do. Go to a batting cage or a driving range. Take him to a game or a movie he’s been dying to see. Make the date all about him to let him know you’ve been listening and you get him.

 

Suggest something that neither of you have done before  take a day trip somewhere new or take a seminar class to learn a skill neither of you have. Even if you have a bad time, that’s when your sense of humor comes in. No matter what you do together, you’re making positive memories.

 

After all, we’ve all been through the early dating stages. But it’s helping the two of you get through The Comfort Zone phase that will make him feel like you get him. If you can make this phase just as exciting as the ones that came before it, you’re in.[
**]

 

Phase 5: The Commitment

 

Once you’re in The Commitment phase, he pretty much knows that you get him. But what you want to be careful of is that he doesn’t take that for granted.

 

Unlike the earlier phases where you want to make him see how deeply you get what he’s about, now he knows that you know that. Now you want to make sure he knows that you get what excites him.

 

Now that he is past the “Oh my God she wants to have sex with me” phase, you want to revive that excitement.

 

However, it doesn’t have to be sexual. It simply is about bringing a general feeling of excitement to the forefront as often as you can.

 

You also want to strengthen the emotional bond between the two of you as you go further into a long-term relationship.

 

For example, consider that poker night he loves so much. If you’re of a certain age, chances are your friends and his are pairing off. This means that the poker nights may be fewer and far between. After all, not every girlfriend is as cool as you!

 

You could suggest that the girlfriends of his friends do their own thing together Friday night, so that he can continue to enjoy his guy time while you further integrate yourself into his circle of friends.

 

Because you’re not making him choose between time with you and time with his friends, how do you think you’ll measure up when they’re all sitting around talking about their girlfriends?!

 

Remember, this is about feeding him ideas and making plans. It’s all too easy for him to get set in his ways during this phase, which will make him bored and uninterested.

 

Another great way to let him know how much you get him is to take it easy at holiday time.

 

This is where couples generally create the most tension, whereas you, by playing it by ear, can come across as Girlfriend of the Year.

 

For that first holiday you’re together in a committed relationship, don’t pressure him to do a lot of events where you’ll be parading him around and don’t expect to be paraded around, either.

 

For example, let’s say Thanksgiving is a huge deal in his family, and it’s family only. He’s going to feel a lot of pressure to explain this to you, and he might be worried about how you’ll react.

 

Except you’ve already been listening a lot, so you know this already. Long before it gets to crunch time, make plans of your own, and let him know that it’s no worries on your end, have fun with the family and that you can have your own dinner another time.

 

Or, say he’s not close to his family and gets really stressed or down at Christmas, but it’s important to you that he comes to your family’s place for the holiday.

 

Be open to compromising. He can stop by for a little while, or he can come over on Christmas Eve when it’s not as big a scene.

 

Speaking of Christmas, gifts are often expected, as also with a birthday. It’s easy to hit the stores and get him a bunch of things to unwrap, but before you light up that credit card, think for a moment. What you choose as a gift can be the single best way to show him you get him.

 

Remember a gift doesn’t have to cost a lot in order for it to show you understand him.

 

So, think. Is there something he talks about missing from his childhood, like a book or a toy you could get? What about something he’s talked about doing  could you get him guitar lessons from a friend? Is there something he’s griped about needing replaced, like a wallet, that would mean so much coming from you?

 

What you buy isn’t important; it should simply be something that shows you’ve been listening to him and that you get him.

 

 

[] Chapter 5: How to Maintain Interest Forever

 

After navigating the dating stages, hopefully you’re in a relationship with a man whose interest level remains high and strong!

 

But just like in those early stages, it’s still important to keep him interested. If you’re serious about finding a good man to love for a long time, you have to have a long-term plan.

 

Once you’re well into a relationship  meaning the next step includes you wearing white and walking down an aisle  there are other ways to keep showing him that you get him.

 

Doing so now has to do with looking to the future. It will not only keep him interested in you, but by showing him what a future would be like with you, he’ll be much more interested in making it happen.

 

First and foremost, you need to keep doing something you’ve been doing all along, which is give him space.

 

For example, have you heard of a “man cave”? A man cave is a space in a couple’s home that is solely for his use. It’s usually a garage or a basement, but it can be a spare room or some other space that’s all his.

 

The cliché of a man cave is so prevalent because, as the thinking goes, the rest of the home is the woman’s domain.

 

When giving him space, that doesn’t mean space in your home. Don’t turn your home into solely your domain, and he won’t feel the need to retreat into a man cave  neither physically nor psychologically.

 

Men create man caves because they feel like the women they live with don’t get them. If he knows you get him, he won’t have that urge to get away.

 

With regard to your physical space, don’t make him live in a sea of pink frills and throw pillows, but also provide some space for his psychological side.

 

Just because he has a free afternoon does not mean that it’s time to tackle that honey-do list. Let him have a balance between time for him, time for you, time for the relationship and time for chores and errands.

 

There is a balance there, and if you help him find it, he’s yours forever!

 

Part of that balance, and another way to show him a future with you, is to encourage his passions.

 

When a man and woman have been together for a long time, their lives intertwine and before they know it, all the big plans and dreams they had before the relationship get lost in the day-to-day routine of just getting stuff done.

 

So make sure you keep those eternal flames alive. Encourage him to take those guitar lessons no matter what. Get him to that business seminar. Find those forms he needs to register his invention.

 

No matter what it is, helping him see a positive future for himself will benefit the relationship in the long term.

 

Another way to make him feel like you get him in the long term is if you keep looking at the bigger picture.

 

That is covered a bit above, with helping him go after his dreams, whether it’s to learn guitar or to start a business.

 

But looking at the bigger picture is also about letting the little stuff slide.

 

Yes, it’s frustrating when he forgets to change the kitty litter or mow the lawn, but there are ways to remind him of these things that won’t make it so that the majority of conversations he has with you involve you telling him what he’s done wrong or forgot to do.

 

So, make light of it. Make a joke out of it. “I know that you have some incredible trauma in your past that makes you block out the fact that our front yard is a jungle, but if you could remember to mow the lawn this weekend, I won’t have to buy a machete knife to whack my way to the car.”

 

You can also ask him sincerely if there is some way you can help. “Honey, I know the lawn isn’t your top priority, but it does need to be done. Is there a good time when I can remind you of it? I don’t want to nag.”

 

In the same vein of not wanting to be negative all the time, make sure you remember to praise him when he does do things. This can be hard. We all feel like we’re holding the ship together, and we get no appreciation for it.

 

But if you make compliments and positive comments a regular occurrence, you’ll start to see it reciprocated.

 

As a last piece of advice, don’t forget about grooming.

 

Obviously, when you’re living with a man and you’ve been with him for a while, it’s simply not possible to look your absolute best every second.

 

But when we get into the routine of couple, of married life, it can be all too easy to just let everything slide.

 

 

No, you don’t have to wear that sexy cocktail dress while you’re loafing around the house, but there are some steps you can take:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Keep your loungewear current. You may love those ratty old sweats, but they’re not doing you any favors. It’s just as easy to put on a cute casual outfit, as it is to don that ripped tee and baggy sweats.

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Keep your hair nice. Whereas when we’re on the prowl we’re always touching up the highlights and getting a trim, it can be all too easy to just stick it up in a ponytail 24/7. Make those regular appointments, and take a few seconds to brush it out so you always look put-together.

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Don’t forget that perfume! Olfactory memory is very powerful; spraying a little perfume is the single easiest way to have him remember why he fell in love with you.

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. Keep up the health routine. Whether it’s going to the gym or joining a running club or starting up a sport with him like tennis or biking, staying in shape is a good way to be healthy, happy and fit.

 

The whole point of this book is to make Mr. Dreamy your very own. Despite this book focusing solely on your man, remember that no matter how badly you may want him, he should never be your ONLY focus.

 

The majority of the advice provided here should be easy enough to implement as long as you’re living your own life.

 

It’s easy to give him space when you have a busy life with plans of your own. You are encouraged to help him pursue his interests, which, again, is easy when you’re pursuing your own.

 

For example, imagine you only see your guy on weekends. If you have no life, those five days are going to seem like an eternity. But if you do laundry while catching up on your shows on Monday, yoga on Tuesday, girls’ night out on Wednesday, a class on Thursday and choir on Friday… well, look at that! Is it the weekend already?

 

Also note that keeping him calm in the beginning stages and putting yourself in charge of making plans later on are advised in the spirit of empowerment.

 

All too often, women make their relationship the center of their lives. They hold the man up on a pedestal, clinging to his every word.

 

They’re putting the man in the driver’s seat and letting him call all the shots. That’s why they often panic and make frankly dumb mistakes, which is why the man feels like she doesn’t get him. Then they lose interest.

 

So with these tips, feel empowered to steer the relationship in the direction you, and ONLY you, want it to go.

 

That’s the real secret to happiness!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inside this FREE ebook you’ll discover:

 

*
p<>{color:#000;}. The 7 things you need to do to make him fall in love with you.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. How to avoid those mixed signals which kill relationships early on.

*
p<>{color:#000;}. The KEY to his adoration that you absolutely MUST do right.

 

 

[* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD*]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recommended videos for you to watch ASAP

 

[Why Men Pull Away:
**]If you’ve ever been frustrated by a man’s behavior, and/or wished that you truly understood your man then watch this video and discover how to be the woman he’ll love forever…
http://www.datingtheguy.com/go/whyhepullsaway

 

How to Be the Girl Who Gets Proposed To:

This free video shows you every girl’s dream – how to be the one he proposes to!
http://www.datingtheguy.com/go/girlgetsring

 

How to Talk to Men:

This free video shows you exactly how to talk to men and keep their interest levels high.
http://www.datingtheguy.com/go/conchemistry

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Relationship Advice for Women: Why Men Lose Interest and How to Be the ONLY Woma

HERE IS A PREVIEW OF WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: - The 5 criteria that decide whether he'll be interested in you or not. (Once you know these, you can make sure you're ticking all the right boxes!) - How to make sure he sees you as a potential girlfriend, rather than just a potential one night stand. - The seemingly "normal" things you're doing that will make him run the other way... FAST! (HINT: These change depending on which stage your relationship is at...) - Simple tricks to make him believe you truly "get" him, so he won’t want anybody else. - How to stay out of that long-term relationship rut and keep him coming back for more. BONUS: How to Get a Man to Love You - The Incredible 7 Step Guide! Inside this FREE ebook you'll discover: - Is it all just about sex? What you absolutely need to do once you're in a relationship if you want to keep the fire burning. - How to go from girlfriend to fiancée: Covert ways to get your commitment-shy guy excited about giving you that ring! - Is your man emotionally timid? A surprising number of guys are! See how to adapt... or risk scaring him away.

  • Author: Paul Clooney
  • Published: 2016-09-06 22:50:11
  • Words: 7893
Relationship Advice for Women: Why Men Lose Interest and How to Be the ONLY Woma Relationship Advice for Women: Why Men Lose Interest and How to Be the ONLY Woma