Meggie, Meggie, my heart skips a beat as I hear them.
Again my name is called upon.
I look to see but nothing/no one is there.
I keep walking through life admiring the wonders I see along my path.
I see many beautiful creations I long to be part of, I also see evil and the power it possesses.
I lose myself deep in thought imagining of what if?
I then hear them again, Meggie Meggie this way my child, this way mwanagu!!!!
I stand in stillness to see but nothing yet again, then I sit and listen for the voice and there it was, the smoothness, the softness, the calmness, the voice!!!
As I listen, I hear the sound of drums, the hosho and oh!
The sweet sound of the mbira.
I danced a jive I never knew I could do.
The vibe that I felt, a feeling that I was not dancing alone but with many, a feeling, a sense of belonging!
Afraid no more, my eyes opened then I finally see everything in its full glory, the wonder of it all, the beauty of it all, the true beauty, of the way I walked through life.
I now stride with a new-found confidence differently knowing the right route to take, the right decisions to make and the true spirit to have.
I had become what I had always wondered and dreamt about.. only to realize I was always the very same, I only just needed to hear the ancient voices!!!!
Black cloud overshadowing my entire life
-kumadokero – west
Kumbabvazuva – east
Kuchamhembe – north
Ne kumahodzanyemba – south
Cleansing I need to remove this munyama (bad luck) to set my path straight.
Tsvairai nzira yangu kumberi kuchene. Dairai vari pasi ndodaidza muzukuru wenyu mudzimuwe!
Ngoma yorowa na muzvarwa, mbira yokwenywa zvirokwazvo Tafirenyika otomuka, osvetuka mudenga,otamba sezvaita sazita vake,sekuru va sekuru vake,makwira miti,muyera soko, mambo we miti dze mutoko wese!
Nditambidze chikokiyana change ndipedze nyota
“ ai ai ai “
Ndiyani andimutsa pandirere,munodei???
“ ai ai ai “
Ndini muzukuru wenyu Tawana ndamutsa vari kumhepo. Kutsaga rubatsiro rwwenyu asoko.
Upenyu wasviba, marara awungana. Dyorai tsvina, muise chiedza pandiri. Ndapfugama, ndawombera (pouring the blood of the slaughtered beast on the ground)
Zvanzwikwa muzukuru ndosvitsa kuna musika vanhu, enderera hako nehupenyu wako Tawana, nzira itsvene ( as clean as a whistle) The spirits will guide you from here on. The black cloud has shifted. Let me rest now.
“ ai aia ai “
Hoping and dreaming of a fairy tale, hand in hand under the silver skies.
Staring deep in your eyes looking for something I can feel.
This is what I want , what I wish for right within my reach except I am chasing shadows…..
Hearts beat love mine bleeds black blood.
Holding on tightly but I slip slowly and it pains terribly.
An illusion, a figment of my imagination, a nightmare I want to escape from.
I try to understand but I am chasing shadows.
When night comes my life lights up milky touch, silky hair, lovely kisses I am given told how I am amazing.
I spread my body across the floor, I am pampered, spoilt, tossed and wrapped and sweet magic is created.
Forever I want this but when daylight approaches, the sun creeps out to meet the sky I am left alone chasing shadows.
I walk amongst the green grass of kachasu, admiring the hills in a distance.
Birds of the air chirping,” music to my ears”.
Soft rain drops start to hit the ground like a drum beat (the conga)
Trees swerving from side to side in dance like motion performing for its audience “me”.
I applaud in awe and I start to sing producing an authentic African song.
I keep moving down hill towards the compound as the sunsets of the southern blue skies turns to an orange like canvas!
A picture starts to form like a huge painting the once dancing trees are still as their shadows fall across the edge of the imaginary painting.
The bright beautiful flowers spread far and wide like a multi- coloured never ending sized bed!
Almost reaching the bottom of the hill, the ever changing skies turn to dark blue, the stars positioned uniquely like diamonds.
The silence of the night speaks only to me a language that only who listen with their hearts can only understand!!!!!
Africa!!! Africa my home, my land, a wonderful gorgeous creation.
The hand of God – a living artwork.
Uniquely designed landscapes and skies.
As my head hits the light feathered pillow I drift into dreamland.
I walk a narrow path that leads into a dark cave, I see a river and with unseen forces I am taken underneath, an escort awaits me and in some what unspoken language I understand him as I follow him.
Welcomed by an elderly man I am taken on a tour, shown rivers that flow side by side in fours and across each other nothing I have witnessed before.
Trees that speak and mountains that seem to hang in mid air. I am amazed with what I see, surely can this be the hand of God????
Standing on top of tembo mountain looking at the valley below I see a dark figure hearding towards the chapfika village!
A parade of children following him, jumping, skipping helping him carry his luggage. This dark figure was tall, walked with prestige and pride he wore a stripped grey suit, he looked like a man of impotence, a man of great power and a man of honour.!
I turn to myself, dirty, stained clothes on my back, never had been new, second hand clothes which had been exchanged with a bucket of mealie cobs.
Comparing myself to this stranger it saddned my heart and crushed my soul. If only my father had never left…..if only
Making my way down to the village emotions filled me up angry at a man whom was never there ,whom I longed for, imagining how different my life could have been had he been around. Skillfully I herd the cattle back to the kraal as the sunset was upon me, I keep dreaming wide awake…. If only.
Entering the compound my eyes meet that of the dark figure. H e looked highly familiar yet I did not know him. Could it be? If only…!
Tinevimbo, ‘ Meet your long lost father…..” my grandmother said. It was like a dream, my life,s wish to meet the man whom I despised and yet so highly wanted around! All I imagined was right in front of me. Questions I had could now be answered but suddenly my souls heart opened, I felt sad for the figure in front of me, behind the fancy suit and extravagant gifts he had brought a lost broken man he was, looking to fill the missing void in his life.. if only …!
My life was perfect just as it was. It was richer and blessed, I rewinded back in my mind reversed back the roles and settled for being me. I did not need this stranger, I never really did, I was content with being just Tinevimbo. I looked away and headed to my room, if only he was there when he was needed the most… if only…!
Deep ugly mark cast upon a once unmarked wonder. Questions roaming amongst their minds, hungry for answers!
Walking down the streets, hundred sets of eyes loom my way and when our eyes meet, theirs quickly turn into oblivion as if it were lucid dreams that just occurred!
I used to be ashamed of my scar but no more because it is the one that beholds a story.
Upon my face it lays deep down within my soul, one that cannot be altered.
A scar deep within that no surgery can improve.
It gave me an objective, it gave me direction, a reason to be strong and something to look forward to!
Anger, rage and torment took over.
The once beautiful soul was now stained with imperfections.
Such pain such evilness set to destroy me….
Then it happened, my knight and shining armour Milo brought light to my darkness, he gave so much hope, happiness and above all he gave me his love.
Now that I behold an amazing life with him, I will cherish honour and love him endlessly!!!!!!!
A young vibrant woman I am roaming in the midst of this earth, me myself and I a reflection of yesterday , today and tomorrow, to bring light unto the darkness for I am the light in the arms of the angels!!!!
Doing wrong, doing right is all the same in every way, to give more and more of what I never owned and to receive less and less of what I deserve.
Beaten down, pushed over the edge and brought down to my knees.
Seems the battle has been lost but NO! I might be battered to a deathly state now but my rebirth is on the verge of existence for this ain’t the last of me because I am the light in the arms of the angels!!!
The journey that I am taking a learning process day by day to love, discover and understand only to evolve in corruption, deceit and failure, but I stand tall though I am short because I am the light in the arms of the angels !!!
This world around me is gigantic, so many obstacles in my way to stop me from achieving greater heights, but the spirit said no, no, hold on child…
Mudzimu mukuru mukuru uchakutungamira, mudzimu mukuru mukuru wati famba zvako muzukuru sango rakachena hona vari pasi vanewe.
No matter the worry, no matter the pain, just know I am right there. Listen to your heart, follow your dreams, for I am right there.
Mudzimu mukuru mukuru uchakutungamira, mudzimu mukuru wati fambazvako muzukuru sango rakachena hona varipasi vanewe..
I taught you well, I have given you the map, u have the strength in you find your way, never will you be lost for I am right there.
Ndini Chenesai, tera matsimba angu, never will you be blinded nor hunted down in this jungle for what it is I am right here. Life is a mystery solve it, life is love find it life is you live it.
Mudzimu mukuru mukuru uchakutungamira, mudzimu mukuru wati famba zvako muzukuru sango rakachena hona varipasi vanewe…..!
Light up the fire, let it burn higher. Place the pot of love and let us make it one to remember!!!
Pour mouthfuls of beautiful hugs, a number of sensual feelings, sprinkle blissful words of encouragement, joyful laughter, endless prayers, a whole lot of heart and a pinch of soul.
Stir all together let it simmer adding happy memories everyday. Place more wood, let the fire keep burning for this pot of love will last forever!!!
As we dish out of this pot, the marvellous aroma fills our entire lives. The satisfying feel of this amazing love makes it all worth the time invested in making this pot of love!!!
….6.30 am she wipes down the tables ready for the first morning seating. Armed with all her tools of the trade tucked in her white/cream apron……
…a flat cappuccino and a croissant please, her first guest arrives ,R15.00 for the cuppuccino and R8.50 for the croissant, R23.50 maam is your bill with a big smile she takes the bill folder and opens it to take her 10% “ R2.35c on the dot……..
Inside her neatly presented uniform, deep down in her chest in the shadows of her organs lays a heart that tears endlessly for she is pregnant and alone. Amongst her collegues she wears a mask so thick that the tears of her heart are never seen. Harder she works to provide for the fatherless unborn child, never giving a hint to the world that she is crushed inside, that the darkness grew thicker around her teary heart…..
Guest after guest congratulations after congratulations, tip after tip, the shift comes to a close, cash up time it is 11.30 pm, R350 for the double shift, tears of the heart stroll down wandering, hoping, wishing and praying for the return of the one that left. Reality strikes as she gets ready for bed another tear of the days earnings will buy a baby blanket….
Alone in her single room where she and the truth mirror each other she removes her mask, says her nightly prayers plain and pure carrying the tears of the heart into a heavy sleep…..
Sunrise arrives to what seems like minutes to get ready again to wear that same mask again, to repeat the same routine…. Only she knows the pains of the tears of her heart…..
A perfect gentleman, a smooth handsome snake caresses my cheek and slithers into my heart hissing true lies!!!!!
With this ring I promise you my entire being. I had longed to hear my liefie say these words . I was estatic, happy overjoyed and felt blessed indeed….. Oh what true lies.
Roses of colour were sent to my work. Words of love were written in stone. Chocolate rained at the gate. I was in love with true lies……
Taken to beautiful exotic places shown wonderful things made amazing love ……a tear or two I shed after his declaration of love for me ( a waste of precious holy liquid). Literally I felt his heart beating in my hand, beautiful sound of music that friends envied. I believed without a doubt he was mine and I his, True lies indeed!!!
To this very day. I still hold the ring that once meant everything . I look at it with so much sadness and pain can not bear to discard it, for what it was meant to be and what it is a heart ache a living dead reminder screaming at me ………True lies!!
Luscious juicy lips, perky boobs resembling the roundness of a sweet summer mango, curvacious plum like hips ready to do the tango. Velvety dark smooth chocolate skin and hair locked in dreads like a true virgin Nubian princess.
Her big brown eyes welcoming they are, her seemingly touch awakens the fire in my soul, her polished voice so angelic that the birds of the air applaud in awe!!! And her smile springs up the flowers of my heart!
The trees surrounding the river seem to bow in respect as she bathes in the clear blue sparkling water. Her naked body shimmering with the glow of the sun excites my manhood. Umh what a creation, a goddess of the earth, a true Nubian virgin.
Marry me princess Tadiwa, marry me, the words on the tip of my tongue wanting to let her know, hoping for a positive response, my heart oh my heart could not bear to imagine her innocence gone. So I disappear from my refuge behind the enormous fig tree and let another marvel at this unique VIRGIN TREASURE.
About the author:
South African-based poet, Meg-Anne Chapfika, is a free-spirited soul who was born in Mbare, Zimbabwe a place full of character and deeply rooted in art. She grew up in Hwange and parts of Harare where she developed her love for writing poetry.
It is with many thanks to family and friends who helped shape the woman she is that she presents this book.
African poetry by a young African woman encompassing joy, sorrow, hardship and perseverance