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Parenting Guide: Effective Disciplinary Strategies.

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Parenting Guide: Effective Disciplinary Strategies.

 

Learn effective disciplinary methods to significantly improve your child’s behaviour.

Allick Delancy

 

Copyright © 2015 Allick Delancy

All rights reserved.

 

Contact Information:

Leave a comment or contact the author via email. Also, be the first to receive free and bonus materials from the author:

Allick Delancy: [email protected]

 

Facebook Author page: [+ https://www.facebook.com/Allick-Delancy-1431279340530221/+]

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER

 

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever: electronic or photocopying, recording or by any informational storage or retrieval system without the consent of the writer’s signed permission.

The information presented herein, represents the views or opinions of the author. This book is for informational purposes only.

This book does not contain all information available on the subject. Every effort has been made to make this book as accurate as possible. However, there may be typographical errors.

 

 

 

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings

 

 

 

Table of Contents

Introduction

Getting started.

Discipline and its objective.

Areas warranting discipline.

How to offer discipline.

Case study.

Six (6) don’ts.

3 things to try…

Conclusion

 

 

 

 

 

Introduction

Being a parent is a wonderful thing. It brings with it all the joys and bright memories. Nonetheless, you will agree with me that it takes effort to raise a child or children successfully.

Effective parenting can be challenging for parents. Even if you live in a two parent or single parent household, providing for your child’s needs; physically, emotionally, spiritually etc. and then having challenges with disciplining, can drain you of energy; from the time of birth to the time period when the child becomes an adult.

So children need all the positive guidance and attention that they can get.

The question is, where can parents get the necessary assistance they need to be effective at parenting? Further, what can I do to effectively discipline my child or children?

So this is the thing. There are lots of information out there offering assistance on this subject of effective guidance for parents, especially when it comes to discipline. A significant number of it is quite good information to read and apply to your efforts at child training. It is correct to say that some will work for you and others may not offer you the desired help.

Keep in mind that when attempting to apply information that pertains to effective strategies for disciplining your child, caution must be taken. Why? Because although the world is a global village, the following factors still play significant parts within society. And each society might have similarities but there are differences as well.

The following can contribute to child discipline methods:

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p<{color:#000;}. Specific norms and morals.

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p<{color:#000;}. Philosophy, religious and spiritual beliefs.

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p<{color:#000;}. Education, as it pertains to the understanding of behaviors which maybe reasonable for children of a specific age.

 

Getting started.

So let’s learn a few secrets to effective parenting, using appropriate disciplinary strategies.

 

There is no doubt about it, you love your children and want the very best for them in life. So your goal is to provide for them in the best possible ways you know how. Your child or children can certainly bring joy to your life. Parenting can also bring with it many fun memories that you will cherish forever. Your child’s smile will make you smile. The silly things they say, while learning to talk in their early childhood stages will make you laugh. As they grow before your very eye, you will be proud to be a parent.

Note that even after reading this book, there might still be the occasion when you will feel frustration or annoyance coming on. Children will make mistakes and this can really get to you. This will be the case especially when you have given instructions previously on what is expected and what is not. On these occasions you may ask yourself these questions:

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p<{color:#000;}. Why does my child not listen to my instructions?

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p<{color:#000;}. How can I get then to pick up their toys or to clean up their rooms, when I tell them to do so?

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p<{color:#000;}. How is it that when I instruct them to behave appropriately in public, they throw more and more tantrums (crying, screaming, using obscene language), and I cannot control them?

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p<{color:#000;}. How does my child not recognize my angry face and stop doing what they are doing that is making me upset?

Well, you are not alone in asking these questions.

Parents all over the world are asking these, and even much more questions, which are not placed here.

Many parents are seeking answers to the questions:

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p<{color:#000;}. What are the more effective methods of disciplining?

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p<{color:#000;}. How can I modify inappropriate behaviors exhibited by my child?

So have no fear, days for being frustrated, not knowing where to turn are over!!!! I am going to give you tried and tested solutions to help you with disciplinary methods.

 

Discipline and its objective.

Let us examine the following two questions:

#
p<{color:#000;}. Well let’s see, what does it mean to discipline your child?

And

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p<{color:#000;}. What is it that discipline is supposed to achieve?

Let’s look at the first question:

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p={color:#000;}. What does it mean to discipline your child?

Discipline means, that you are seeking to offer some type of training to the child, so that the particular behavior you are looking to enhance or produce will be repeated. So then, the objective of the discipline is to have the child repeat the action for instance, until it becomes automatic.

Now, to achieve the action or behavior which you deem appropriate, you must use the principles of rewards: to give (extra time on entertainment, buying a favorite book for the child to read, giving praise etc.) or to take something away ( for example, no video games or surfing the net for a day or two, or taking away of the cell phone for a specified time).

 

#
p={color:#000;}. What is it that discipline is supposed to achieve?

Now the human brain operates like this when it comes to human behavior. Firstly, you can have a behavior reproduced because the person is fearful of what may happen, if they do not reproduce the action. Secondly, you can have a behavior reproduced, becoming automatic, because the person becomes aware (developing knowledge or some type of perception) as to why a behavior or action is appropriate.

Think about this. Parents want appropriate behaviors reproduced. Be it from your young child or adolescent. And so, a method to bring about this desired behavior is tried. But note, any parent who gets their child to demonstrate that behavior, but uses fear, runs the risk of having that behavior not consistently reproduced. Note though, I am not saying here, that fear cannot get a behavior to become automatic, but many times that response is devoid of true understanding. The objective should always be to create in the child’s mind the principles or concepts to use. If they understand the principles or concepts, they can apply these to similar situations which will come up in the future.

 

Areas warranting discipline.

While this is not an exhaustive list, the following are areas for offering discipline:

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p<{color:#000;}. Obscene language and gestures,

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p<{color:#000;}. Bullying others,

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p<{color:#000;}. Ethnic intimidation,

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p<{color:#000;}. Fighting,

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p<{color:#000;}. Inappropriate dress code,

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p<{color:#000;}. Stealing,

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p<{color:#000;}. Lying,

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p<{color:#000;}. Cutting class,

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p<{color:#000;}. Cheating in school,

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p<{color:#000;}. Vandalism.

 

Case study.

Take for instance, you say to a child, let’s say a five year old girl: “Sit down on that chair in the living room and do not walk behind me when I am in the kitchen!”

Now this may be followed by a few gestures, such as a raised eyebrow, a squint or an assertive wave of the finger at the child. And so the child sits on the chair. So the child becomes scared and do as she is told.

But the child may be confused. The child wants to help you in the kitchen; either to peel the vegetables with a sharp knife, light the match or remove the pot of boiling water from the stove, which is towering over their heads. Notice that there are no real explanations given to the child, no reasoning in the instructions given above, and so on.

Think about this now, the parent says to the child:

“Oh dear, it is so nice that you want to help mommy, but the stove, when lit is hot. Remember that time you went walking on the beach without shoes and you said that the sand was very hot? Well, the stove when lighted, gets hotter than the sand on the beach. This can be dangerous for you, you can get burned. But when you get a bit older, then you can help me. But I will tell you what. Could you sit on the chair a little distance away, but where you can see mommy and help me, by telling me what to put in the pot next?”

 

Now, after reading through the second conversation the mother had with the child, do you see this as disciplining the child?

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p<{color:#000;}. Yes!

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p<{color:#000;}. No!

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p<{color:#000;}. Not sure!

Well if you said “A” “yes”, you will be correct, for the parent just disciplined the child.

 

Remember what discipline is?

Discipline means, you are seeking to offer some type of training to the child, so that the particular behavior you are looking to enhance or produce will be repeated. So then, the objective of the discipline is to have the child repeat the action, until it becomes automatic.

Note the second conversation the parent had with the child:

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p<{color:#000;}. The parent did seek to offer some type of training. That is, calmly instructing the child sit at a safe distance, and so they are not in the way to be injured. The expectation is that the child will reproduce this new leant behavior in the future.

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p<{color:#000;}. Further, the parent explained using an illustration; a comparison of the time the child walked on the warm sand at the beach.

 

I will like you to note this:

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p<{color:#000;}. The child did not become fearful of her mother’s reaction when cooking the meal. But will understand the real reason she is asked to sit there—her mother’s concerned for her safety. Actually, the child was involved in the process of food preparation.

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p<{color:#000;}. Also, the child can reproduce the behavior of sitting on a chair from a safe distance. From there, she can assist anyone (her father for instance) either when they are washing dishes or cooking a meal.

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p<{color:#000;}. The child will now be able to apply the same principle, her mother planted in her young mind, to other situations which will later come her way. This principle will influence her behavior. All of this takes place based on the child’s understanding of the instructions given. This is considered effective discipline.

Six (6) don’ts:

These should always be remembered when offering discipline to children:

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p<{color:#000;}. Don’t respond to all inappropriate behavior:

For some parents, failing to responding to their child’s every beckon could be hard to accept. But rest assured, not responding to every inappropriate signal immediately, works. Many times, tantrums are associated with attention seeking behaviors. Providing the excessive crying and stamping of feet is done in a way that does not endanger the child, then ignore the behavior. When the child stops, then you can acknowledge them. It is not always necessary to explain to a younger child why you ignored them. But you may have some explaining to do for older children such as adolescence, regarding an inappropriate behavior. What this should do, is help them understand actions which are appropriate, and those which are not. In many cases, with time, the child learns to modify their behavior, to more appropriate ones.

#
p<{color:#000;}. Don’t offer discipline greater or lesser than the infringement:

This disciplinary strategy must be used in such a manner that the removal of a privilege is somewhat equal to the infringement. So as a parent, you have to negotiate in your mind. You have to think about privileges or objects which can be taken away from the child for a specific infringement. Remember, the objective is to have a behavior reproduced or eliminated. Therefore it is important that you choose wisely, so as to have the desired effect.

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p<{color:#000;}. Don’t wait a long time before offering discipline.

Some time you hear of parents who will add up discipline for a child. So, the child might have come home later than was expected from the play ground. Instead of parents dealing with that infringement to the rules, they do not address the matter at that instant but wait for another time; thus adding it up. The child spends more money on snacks than they were supposed to, the parents add that up too. Then, before you know it, a time comes when a parent seeks to discipline the child for an infringement the child is not able to recall. As a result, the child may engage in the unwanted action again and again. The discipline at this stage is not focused on a specific, targeted behavior.

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p<{color:#000;}. Don’t lose control when offering discipline.

It is not uncommon for us to read in the newspapers or view on the television some type of child discipline, turned extreme. Resulting in the authorities stepping in. Losing control of our emotional state, can turn to physical abuse, emotional abuse or neglect for instance. So always make sure you are reasonable, and well composed when offering discipline to the child or children.

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p<{color:#000;}. Don’t lie to the child when offering discipline.

Be specific with the child when offering discipline. Remember, you want your child(ren) to develop trust and confidence in you. Even when it comes to offering discipline. Keep in mind, you are teaching your child(ren) by means of your actions. If you plan to remove a privilege from them, for a specific time period, this should be properly communicated. When that time is past, show them the honor by lifting the ban.

 

#
p<{color:#000;}. Don’t break your own rule when offering discipline.

Parents with more than one child in the home, are no stranger to siblings complaining about varying in parental discipline. Certainly, if the siblings are of varying age groups, the discipline will vary. A six year old who broke a vase will be disciplined differently. For instance, the six year old might be asked to assist you with clean up of the broken pieces and then go sit in the corner for a few minutes. In the case of a teenager, you may ask that they contribute from their allowances, to cover the cost. You may further impose that they not go to the park, and play ball for a couple days.

 

3 things to try…

The following will assist you to reinforce appropriate behaviors in the home:

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p<{color:#000;}. Develop a set of house rules and consequences.

This should be written down somewhere for all in the house to see; child(ren) as well as parent(s)/ guardian. I think that all persons in the house who will be affected by the rules, be involved in making them. With this, there is a sense of ownership. Those persons are more likely to follow each rule. Also too, rules can be placed in a common area of the house.

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p<{color:#000;}. Praise or commendation.

Sometimes, children can become used to not having praise given to them. As some parents ignore the various attempts their children make. As parent, I want to urge you to be watchful for the occasions your child performs well on a task. For example, when a child took a bath or brush their teeth, without you asking. Or when they started their homework, without you having to drag the video game controls out of their fingers. Or on occasions when they were not able to perform as you wanted them to, on a task, you can still offer commendation. You can commend them for what they were able to achieve. But let them know how they can improve as well.

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p<{color:#000;}. Be assertive.

Being assertive, is not to say, you will be aggressive with child(ren) in your care. You simply express yourself in a clear manner, your feelings. Children can develop in the early stages of their life, an understanding of emotions. It is therefore important to let them know how you feel about a particular action or behavior demonstrated; be it appropriate or not. Keep in mind that the objective of being assertive, is not to put them down or make them feel discouraged.

 

Conclusion

Being a parent can be a wonderful experience for you. You have the opportunity to pass on to another generation information; skills and insight that can contribute to making life a beautiful experience to both the child and others they come in contact with. But taking the time to go through this book meant that it is not always easy. Yes, parenting can be a challenging job, especially when it comes to effectively disciplining your child(ren). But with these quick and easy steps and with constant practice, you will get the hang of it. Actually, you and your child(ren),with consistency of using the disciplining techniques and your child(ren) seeing the need to cooperate, you will see improvements. Without a doubt both your actions and their reactions, will be repeated to the extent that it becomes automatic!

 

 

 

 

Contact Information

Leave a comment or contact the authors via email. Also, be the first to receive free and bonus materials from the authors:

Allick Delancy

[email protected]

 

Facebook Author page: [+ https://www.facebook.com/Allick-Delancy-1431279340530221/+]

 

 

About the Author

The areas of education, psychology, motivation, behavioural coaching, management of stress, anger and conflict, has always interested Allick Delancy. For this reason, over the years he has conducted research in these fields and has experienced great success in writing, lecturing and assisting other persons to develop their fullest potentials.

He has obtained a Bachelors of Science in Behavioural Sciences with an emphasis in Psychology and Sociology. Allick Delancy also earned a Masters of Arts degree in Educational Psychology, with general emphasis in Learning, Development, Testing and Research from Andrews University.

He has worked in the field of community mediation, education—conducting life skills training (for students, teachers and parents), as well as conducting Functional Behavioural Assessments and developing Functional Behavioural Plans. He also lectures at the Bachelors degree level in Early Childhood and Family Studies, Leadership and Management and co-wrote an undergraduate course in social work.

 

 

 

 


Parenting Guide: Effective Disciplinary Strategies.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings Parenting Guide: Effective disciplinary strategies… Are you tired of seeing so many children out of control? You now have new ideas to assist in effectively disciplining your children and have them love you for it!!! The goal of this book is to present a number of strategies to successfully, offer discipline. New parents or guardians, or those who have been parents for some time now, can also benefit from the information discussed in this book. Table of Contents Introduction Getting started. Discipline and its objective. Areas warranting discipline. How to offer discipline. Case study. Six (6) don’ts. 3 things to try… Conclusion

  • ISBN: 9781311691743
  • Author: Allick Delancy
  • Published: 2015-12-15 23:20:07
  • Words: 3083
Parenting Guide: Effective Disciplinary Strategies. Parenting Guide: Effective Disciplinary Strategies.