Copyright 2016 Debi Filkins
Shakespir Edition, License Notes
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
Electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information
Storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.
Correspondence may be directed to:
Email: [email protected]
[_ For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control- Bible verse 2 Timothy 1:7 _]
Today non beneficial emotions run rampant but, the FEAR factor is probably the largest epidemic in modern society. Fear is the basis of most non beneficial emotion. Worry: the fear that something unwanted will happen. Depression: the fear that you have lost control of your life and that life might not be worth living. Anger: the fear that someone doesn’t agree with or follow your plan. Unworthiness: the fear that you have nothing to contribute to the world and are undeserving of being loved.
WOE: Waste of Energy
A Buddhist saying: If there is a solution, then you need not worry. If there is no solution, then you need not worry.
Worry is a waste of energy. Ask yourself: Is this event that I am worrying about important and going to affect the rest of my life? Do I want it to affect my life? Wait for a feeling response. That will be your answer. Sprinkle your woes with a gentle cool rain, or dowse them with a bucket of water and watch them melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. “I’m melting, melting, melting…”
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
Fears are thoughts that can create intense discomfort. These thoughts are often triggered by some smell, sight, feeling or event that your brain equates to a previous experience that involved physical danger or emotional threat or imbalance. That experience may have been an actual event, a scene in a movie or book or an imagined “this could happen” event. It could be related to an event, but the memory of it has been distorted by misperception, time or exaggerated emotions. Fear can freeze your motions. It increases your heart rate and blood pressure through the output of adrenaline and cortisol. Fears can compound and grow. Fear throws your body into the “fight, flight, or freeze” mode which are primal reflexes created in part by the triple warmer meridian and the brain’s hypothalamus.
When you give focus to your fears, you give away your energy. Don’t analyze your fears. Know they are there. Watch the way you feel about a situation. Simply observe. Notice that after a time of quiet observation, your fears don’t seem as real. Your patient acknowledgement without analysis allows the fear to fade.
Every time you face your fears and go forward through your fears, your confidence grows and you become healthier. Make a list of many things that you did after being afraid to do them. Learning to swim, riding a bike, driving a car, taking an elevator or escalator, talking in front of a class…. YOU SURVIVED! Was your fear during the anticipation of the event necessary or beneficial?
When a tiger is running after you, RUN. Let the adrenalin flow. When you are speaking in front of a crowd and make a mistake, breathe and proceed. Concentrate on what needs to be said next. When an ice skater falls in the middle of a routine on international TV, they get up and continue skating beyond the pain and past the embarrassment. Even these moments of justifiable panic aren’t good times to stop for fear can cause you to freeze and not think straight. Push ahead by focusing on the goal or desired continuation.
Usually the fear hits the hardest when the event is over, and after you have proven that you are a survivor. Know that if you have survived your fears before, you can do it again! Worrying and being fearful after the event is like putting the cart before the horse and expecting the horse to push forward. You won’t get very far, you will be exhausted, and you will not have the incentive to continue on your journey.
For more imbedded fears you might need professional help. Here are several techniques which you can try. For a large recipe for dealing with traumatic memories and The Nine Gamut procedure you might want to refer to The Promise Of Energy Psychology authored by David Feinstein, Donna Eden and Gary Craig. For information on energy exercises, tapping and meridians refer to Energy Medicine by Donna Eden () and Youtube videos of Donna Eden Energy Medicine. I have used Donna’s 5 minute energy medicine routine for several years and I am convinced that it has helped me create balance in my own life.
1) Finger chop (with 4 fingers) the side of your opposite hand between the base of the pinky and the wrist, also known as the karate chop point. Or, do double duty by clapping together the pinky side of both hands, thereby stimulating both hands simultaneously. (Energy Medicine)
2) The 9 Gamut procedure: Tap the Gamut point on the back of the opposite hand in the 2 inch space between the bones to the pinky and the ring finger. (The Promise Of Energy Psychology)
• While tapping close your eyes.
• Open your eyes
• Move eyes down to one side and then to the other side
• Circle the eyes 360 degrees in one direction then in the other direction
• Hum a tune for a few seconds (Oh, oh, oh, oh, Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ Alive)
• Count to 5 and hum
3) Put your fingers on your scalp above the ears. Pull the fingers around the back of the ears, down the neck and pulled them off the top of the shoulders flicking them into the air in front of your chest (triple warmer smoothie). Repeat this at least 3 times. This reverses part of the triple warmer meridian. (Energy Medicine)
4) Tap the face and chest with your finger tips. Start at the inside of each eyebrow, then proceed to the outside of the eyebrow, under the center of the eyes on the boney part of the face, under the nose, under the lips, spot k-27 (about 3- 4 inches above the nipples), and between the breasts, like Tarzan thumps. (Energy Medicine). This is similar to the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and as with EFT, many emotions can be balanced quickly and effectively.
EFT and Tapping Your Way into balance:
EFT tapping has been used to balance emotions for decades. The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner, and his website and related Youtube videos are excellent resources for teaching you this emotional release technique called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique.
The EFT process is simple. Start by tapping the side of the hand on the pinky side. This is the karate chop point. While tapping one or both hands there, state the problem at least 3 times. “Although I have this fear/situation/anger/pain/sadness/….. I deeply and completely love and accept myself”. Then you will do a tapping sequence involving 8 points. Start at the inner tip of the eyebrow, outer tip of the eyebrow, under the eye on the cheek bone, under the nose, below the lips in the chin indent, the chest below the collar bone, under the arm at the bra line, and the center part line at the top of the head. Use as many fingers as possible so that you are sure to hit the tapping points. Do both sides at the same time or only 1 side. The first time through the points you will tap at least 8 times on each point while stating your feelings and frustrations related to this situation. The second round you will voice the fears and emotions related to the issue and start to mix in some positive, “but what would it be like if this were not true or if I could let go of this?” type of comments. The third round you will focus more on statements around your desire to release or change this situation. Repeat the last 2 rounds if necessary until you feel better. There are many variations of the wording, but the basic idea is to bring up the emotions related to new events and/or old imbedded events. For starters, EFT can be used in pain management, eliminating phobias or other every-day fears and processing emotional imbalances. As you tap, pay attention to thoughts and memories that surface that you may wish to tap on separately. has free demonstrations and tapping sequences that you can follow. Although creating your own tapping statements as you tap is very powerful, you may wish to start by following some scripts created by EFT professionals. Amazon has scripts that you can purchase, including Nick Ortner’s books: The Tapping Solution and The Tapping Solution for Pain Relief. Jessica Ortner has authored The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence which also includes easy-to-follow scripts. Annually, in February, they sponsor the Tapping Summit as a free online presentation. Many professionals in the field of energy psychology and EFT are interviewed and demonstrate their methods for tapping and issues that you can tap on to bring clarity and balance to your emotions and more happiness to your life! This is powerful stuff!
Try it now. Think of a situation that is bothering you. What is your level of discomfort with that issue right now? Give it a number from 1-10 with 10 being almost unbearable. Now follow the tapping sequences above. Think about the issue as you tap on releasing the emotional charges related to it. At the end, take a deep breath and then reassess your level of anxiety. Has it gone down? If you want it to drop even lower, you can run through the sequences again. Or, if another emotion or event came to mind during the tapping, you can tap on that issue until you feel that you are done for the moment. Even a drop from an 8 to a 6 is progress!
FEAR One Event at a Time
Let’s break down fear. FEAR is Factor, Emotion, Action, and Result. The Factor is an event that happens in your life. There is an Emotional response to the event. The Emotion creates an Action. The Result is variable depending on the values of F, E and A. The Factor has a fixed value as it is not something that you can control. How can you feel better about it when it appears to be non-beneficial and unwanted? What part or parts of FEAR do you have control over? The Emotion is under your control when you have learned techniques that will help you gain control. The Action is therefore equally under your control as there is rarely a situation where there is only one choice of action. The Result is contingent upon your Emotion and Action.
F+E+A=R. The Factor (event) is a fixed variable. It spurs an Emotional response. The Emotion and Action are variables. The combination creates a Result. The more non beneficial events on one side of the equation, the more negative the “value” on the Results side of the equation. Energetically, the negative Result could lead to stress, anger, depression or even disease (dis-ease), which means that your emotions and actions towards every-day events in your life can lead to health risks or happiness; it is in your power to choose.
Think of an event in your recent life or one that will soon occur. Give value to the Factor, Emotion and Action that you took or plan to take. Give a moment’s thought to alternate Emotions and Actions. Use methods suggested in the book to improve the Emotion and the Action that you could have or will take. Calculate the Result of the changes in Emotions and Actions. You can conquer your FEARS, and when you do, imagine the incredible sense of happiness and pride you will achieve. The sum of “your efforts” plus “calculated thoughts” equals immediate improvement in your life.
Conquering Your Fears
When fears and worry appear, remember they are False Evidence Appearing Real. You can respond to your FEARS by Forgetting Everything and Revealing Self…your true self. Remember that you are connected to God or the Universe. You have a powerful connection and energy source within you and from Heaven, the Universe of pure positive energy and/or your inner self. Even if you don’t believe in God, there is a part of your guidance that you know is there; your drive to survive. Tap into that knowing. Know your true self or soul is pure and powerful and timeless. So when you are afraid, drop down into your inner knowing guidance systems and forget everything that is going on in the current moment as you are, in fact, safe. You are in your space of security and intelligence. That space and energy is far more powerful than the individual events that occur in your life. Those events are just learning moments that help you build your character and dreams during this journey on Earth.
For more thoughts on creating happiness, check out Shakespir for my book: The School of Thought Behind Creating Happiness.