What was before the universe? What are the pragmatic and philosophic questions that are raised by the creation of such an ambitious anomaly? Theodil stands before a committee with nothing but zero parameter “Zots”. By skewing, aggregating, and agitation, parameters are developed including time, light, and gravity. All the while, the congregation grows increasingly very angry, double guessing, criticizing, and debating Theodil’s every step. This is an exploratory thought experiment into various dynamics that may have taken part in the rendering of the universe. The book dives into the philosophical necessity for multiple time frames, empirical and dark materials, constants in gravity and light, and proposes a dual big bang for the origin of the universe: one to start the process, and the second to slow down the interaction so experience and matter can materialize. "Of Zots and Xoodles" attempts to take these and other complex hypothetical factors and move them into a simplified abstract domain where the concepts can be explored in an amusing and deductive framework.