By Hiranya Borah
Copyright 2017 Hiranya Borah
Shakespir Edition, License Notes
Thank You for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favourite authorized retailer.
Thank you for your support.
What is a good thought and what is a bad thought? After observing the society, I lived in for years, meeting people from different backgrounds, I am able to make conclusion that, there is no good thought or bad thought in this world. A thought is good or bad, depends upon the perspective (sometimes we can say it self-interest) of the person who is looking at the result of any thought. We can find thousands of examples in favour of my argument; but I am restricting myself in citing only one example in this story.
After sacrificing all personal likings, she attained the status of a demi-goddess in the eyes of the family members, relatives and colleagues. In the process, she had to suffer a lot, physically and mentally, to maintain her demi-goddess status in the peer groups and family. What happened next? Please read the story to know about the lady and her subsequent actions.
This is fictitious story. So, if you find any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is a cheer coincidence only!
I thank all my friends and relatives for their encouraging words. I am thankful to my family members for their constant support. My sincere thanks are always due for Shakespir for their support.
A beautiful lady of forty plus, mother of two talented boys aged 16 and 12, ideal English teacher of a Government School, with doting husband and cooperative in laws, Anamika tried to commit suicide by poisoning herself. Fortunately, she was saved by a team of dedicated doctors and medicos- of course, due to timely hospitalization by her family members. Everybody, who knows her for years, was surprised by her action.
According to her husband, she was a dream wife, any husband wishes for. According to her students, she was like an elder sister to them, and for seniors, one of the most disciplined and reliable teacher. For her children, she was everything and for her in laws, she was like their own daughter. Then what happened so drastic, that prompted her to take an extreme step?
Immediately, steps were taken to inform everybody known to her that, she had actually accidently taken poison thinking something else. Every family member was engaged for damage control.
But, what had happened in reality?
Actually, she became fed up with playing the role of ideal wife, ideal mother, ideal daughter in law, ideal teacher. She respected every ones sentiment but in the process she stopped thinking that, she was also a normal woman, yes normal woman who needs both physical and mental space, both physical and mental attention from her husband etc. Everybody had taken her for granted. She had been put at pedestal of a demi goddess who only could do good for someone, nothing else.
She had never been seen as a woman, but as a mother, daughter, wife, teacher and so on, nobody tried to realize that, she was also a woman of flesh and blood. She seldom got time to talk to her husband on films or any other subjects- which were not related to welfare of children or welfare of the in laws. In school, no joke was shared with her as she was thought to be a serious (worship-able) lady. She was associated with prayers and ‘satsang’/ havan etc. only and advices were solicited from her for match making, solving household problems by junior teachers and senior teachers alike. By the time, even love making with her husband had also become a serious matter as she became a respectable mother of two!
She stopped respecting her needs of her body and mind. She stopped caring her beautiful curves on her body, which her husband had stopped appreciating long back.
A young teacher Rahul joined the school as a French teacher where Anamika was an English teacher. The young boy of twenty-four has a magnetic power to attract anyone who talks with him for few minutes. At first, Anamika wanted to avoid him for his un-necessary talks. But he was different from ordinary talkative person. He noticed that the middle-aged lady teacher was avoiding him. One day, he confronted Anamika.
‘Madam, whatever may be the reason, you are trying to avoid me. May I know the reason.’
‘To be frank, I do not talk un-necessarily and I do not like to talk anyone who talks un-necessarily.’ Anamika told Rahul candidly.
‘I know. But in my opinion, there is nothing un-necessary talks as such. Every, apparently un-necessarily talks actually energize any person to do necessary works in life. But do not worry, I shall not talk to you in future, if you think I talk un-necessarily.’ Rahul said with a smile. Then he left her to herself.
Anamika felt bad about her own behavior. She realized that she hurt the young man. She wanted to mend her ways.
When she met Rahul on the next day, she wanted to talk to him. But Rahul did not show any interest in speaking to her. She felt insulted. She told herself, she would never talk to him.
Anamika noticed, Rahul became friendly to everyone except her. She felt alienated and humiliated.
After a week, the Principal called Anamika and Rahul to assign a work. They were asked to accompany the selected students for a tournament to be held within the city from the next day. Coming out from the Principal’s room, Rahul told Anamika, ‘It will be difficult for me to control the students as none is serious about me. I am happy that you will be with me. Everyone in the school is fearful about you!’
Anamika could not understand whether Rahul was praising her or taunting her by saying ‘fearful person.’ She did not react immediately.
To her surprise, while boarding to the school bus, all the students greeted Rahul with a smile and she was greeted with serious faces. All the students were friendly to him; but they follow his instructions meticulously.
‘Madam, I know what you are thinking! But time is yet to be over for you! You may also have a second innings!’’ He smiled meaningfully.
Anamika could not understand what he actually had meant by second innings. She innocently asked, ‘What do you mean by a second innings?’
‘Madam, you are still very beautiful. You can still compete with young girls like Namrata (a young teacher of her school).’ Without removing his eyes from her eyes, he said.
Anamika blushed for the first time, after many years. She could not find an answer to his flirt. On seeing her mum, Rahul said again, ‘I am not joking. You are really very beautiful. That is why I was avoiding you. I am preventing myself from falling in love with you.’ He smiled again.
Anamika thought to rebuke the young man. But she could not do so. She started liking his flirting. She realized, flirting might be so beautiful from the young man. She also started flirting with the young man which she abandoned long long time ago.
After one month Anamika realized that she fell in love with the young man. Now without talking to him, she cannot pass her time. Even when she was in midst of her family, Rahul’s face and talks started disturbing her.
Initially, she was not sure, whether Rahul was also in love with her or not. She did not dare to ask Rahul whether he had also same feeling as she had for him. She feared, a rejection from Rahul might demolish her heart.
Rahul was smarter and courageous than Anamika. One day after school he asked Anamika, ‘Madam, I decided to call you as Anamika. After all, I cannot call my girlfriend as Madam.’
He did not ask any permission from Anamika to address her by name, but informed his decision. Anamika was surprised to see his audacity. But she liked his approach.
From that day, onwards, he called Anamika by name outside school. One day he invited her for a cup of tea to a restaurant. While in the restaurant, initially he started touching her hands and then her sleeveless arms. She thought to oppose his advances, but she failed to do so due to some unknown reasons. Rather she liked his touches.
Embolden by her silence, one day he invited her for a walk to a nearby park. As they were walking in the park, taking advantage of absence of any person nearby he embraced her and smacked few kisses on her cheeks. Again, she could not resist his advances.
But one day when strolling in the park, he kissed her on her lips, she realized he had gone too far.
‘I am a teacher and you are also a teacher. We should not cross our limits. Further, I am a wife of a senior officer and mother of two.’ She admonished Rahul.
‘Now, you are saying that we should stop here after coming so far. I cannot return back from here. I want you. I want to marry you.’ He said.
‘I cannot leave my family.’ Anamika told him sternly. She did not wait for his answer and left the park.
Next day when she met Rahul, she avoided him. He tried to talk to her. The stalemate continued for one month. The other teachers also observed this. One day, Anamika was told by another teacher that Rahul had resigned from the school to join another job.
Anamika returned back to her boring life once again. She felt nobody had cared for her likings or disliking other than Rahul, whom she had dumped for the very family who never cared for her. She thought deeply about herself, ‘I have to think for everyone; but none thinks about me!’ This negative thought took over her mind and soul slowly but steadily.
Her unhappiness towards her life continued to grow day by day.
Finally, one day she took that drastic step!
I cannot authenticate veracity of the story, as it was told in a cocktail party two years ago, with lot of salt and spices by a friend. I also cannot say what is right or what is wrong, but in my opinion, one should keep something (may be anything) exclusively for oneself. One should keep some space where nobody except himself/ herself should be allowed to venture and respect himself/herself also along with others before suffocation becomes intolerable.
The author is a Government servant and a man of vivid experiences derived from his official postings across the country, travels across India and numerous visits outside India. He is presently placed at New Delhi.
His earlier publications are:
1.Random Thoughts through a Coloured Prism
2. Dilemma of a Young Mind
3. Funny Statistics and Serious Statisticians
4. Melody of Fragrance
6. Few Cities through the Lens of Hiranya Borah
7. Guilt: Gift of Winter Spring
8. Beautiful Ghost
9. Great Fighters: Grace of God
10. All Blurred
11. Putting kids to sleep
12.How to become unpopular
14. My grumpy Face
15. Love and Worries
16. Discussion of own Birth: A Taboo
18. Indecent Love Affairs
19. My Fair Lady
21. Two Stories
22. My Mother: Dashami Borah
26. First Attempt
27. A father
28. The Portrait
29. Snapped Thread
30. Only He Knows
31. The Stupid Mother
32. The Same Old Story
33. The Old Scoundrel
34. Third Attempt
35. Some of my First Days and First Nights
36. Snubbed Twice
37. Have You Met the God
38. Frequent Flier
40. Forgive and Forget
41. To Win or to lose
42. Call Girl
43. Beyond Blood Relation
44. Lady with a Black Car
45. My wife
47. Diwali Gift
48. Romance with a Lady
49. Open Hear Surgery
50. My First Love
52. Pebbles on My Way Home
53. My First Bengali Book
54. Murder Mystery
57. Make a Habit to Thank God
58. Killing of A Bird
59. The Hero
60. Fantasy versus Reality
62. Road Rage
63. Death of a Friend
64. Cannot Live with Memory only
Connect with him
Friend him on Facebook:
Anamika returned back to her boring life once again. She felt nobody had cared for her liking or disliking other than Rahul, whom she had dumped for the very family who never cared for her. She thought deeply about herself, ‘I have to think for everyone; but none thinks about me!’ This negative thought took over her mind and soul slowly but steadily. Her unhappiness towards her life continued to grow day by day. Finally, one day she took that drastic step of committing suicide!